Trust The Science


One word I’ve always hated in politics is “tolerance.” It seems like a very low bar to get over. Think about it. If you come to a party at my house and I say that I will tolerate your presence, that sounds kinda rude and that there’s something seriously wrong with you. It sounds like I’m tolerating you despite a lot of stuff…and gee whiz, what a great guy I am to tolerate you despite how horrible you are. It’s not so much tolerance we need to strive for as it is acceptance.

But in today’s climate, I’ll accept some tolerance.

The United States House of Representatives passed sweeping legislation yesterday to ban discrimination against people based on sexual orientation and gender identity, delivering a major victory to the LGBTQ community. And in doing so, it exposed the Republican Party for the troglodytes that they are. No, not just in that a majority of them being against “tolerance,” but that basically, the entire party is bigoted.

Yesterday, only three Republicans voted that people should not be discriminated against based on sexual orientation or gender identity. That’s fewer than half it got from Republicans the last time the Equality Act came to the House floor. Yesterday’s vote was an amendment to the historic 1964 Civil Rights Act. Every single member of the Democratic Party voted for it. The Republican Party is going backwards.

“Progress” is another good word. The Republican Party, after four years of being the party of Trump, is regressive.

Another sign the Republican Party is regressive and full of hate is its Qanon member and fucknut lunatic Marjorie Taylor Greene.

To put it simply, and that’s how it should be put so Trump supporters can understand it, Marjorie Taylor Greene is a horrible vile disgusting person. She is a bully. She has claimed school shootings are staged and the survivors are “crisis actors.” There is video, that she took, of her stalking and bullying David Hogg, a survivor of the Parkland school shooting and a gun-control advocate.

Illinois Democratic Representative Marie Newman raised a transgender pride flag outside her office. As it turns out, she’s office neighbors with Marjorie Taylor Greene, whose office, shockingly, is not in a dumpster behind the Capitol. And you thought you had bad neighbors, what with the 20 cars on the street, unchained dogs, blaring ska music, and every time they grill it smells like they’re cooking camel hair. Also, if your neighbor has a Trump sign…I’m so sorry.

Newman posted a video on Twitter of her raising the flag and wrote, “Our neighbor tried to block the Equality Act because she believes prohibiting discrimination against trans Americans is ‘disgusting, immoral, and evil.'” To be fair, Newman trolled her a little bit but it’s something that should only help Greene by being forced to see on a daily basis. Oh no! It’s a flag of many colors. Eeeeeek!

Naturally, Greene fired back.

Newman has a transgender daughter, so what Greene did is bullying. Marjorie Taylor Greene hung a sign outside her office, in a video, that said, “There are TWO genders: Male & Female. Trust The Science!” Yes, Marjorie Taylor Greene, who believes that California wildfires were caused by Jewish space lasers and at times has refused to wear a face mask (and when she has, it’s stated “Trump won,” “Stop the Steal,” or “Biden is useless”), wants you to “trust the science.”

It should be noted that Greene has a lot of free time for extracurricular activities like pursuing her insanity, bullying, and going to Kinko’s for making signs and face masks with hate slogans. Why does a sitting member of Congress have so much free time? Because she has zero committee assignments, having been kicked off them by the majority of the House. Why was she kicked of all her committees? Because she’s a lunatic who has expressed stupid conspiracy theories and endorsed acts of violence against fellow House members. What good is she in Congress without any committee assignments? She’s no good and totally useless as a representative. Her district has a Representative who can’t represent them…unless they want a troll to hang hate signs in the Capitol office buildings. She’s real good at that.

Greene also tweeted a personal attack on her Congressional neighbor stating she refuses to recognize her daughter as a woman, but she does recognize Jewish space lasers.

Greene, who earlier tried to delay the vote on the Equality Act on the silly argument that it infringes on women’s rights and religious freedom (the freedom to be a bigot) is a great example of why this act needs to pass. People can still discriminate by using Greene’s stupid arguments. Mitt Romney, a very moderate Republican Senator, has the same opposition to the Equality Act as lunatic bully Qanon conspiracy theory-champion fucknut Marjorie Taylor Greene. They use the same words and argument of “religious freedom.” We are still in dangerous times for the gay and trans community. Also, stop using your god as an excuse to hate on people, fuckers. It’s weird.

Also, this whole bathroom argument is absurd and it doesn’t work. The argument is that male perverts will pose as women and go into the ladies room and spy on little girls. First, how are we preventing perverts from spying on little boys in the men’s room? Second, you’re not supposed to be peeking at anybody’s stuff in any bathroom no matter what you are. Stop it. Is this something conservatives actively do? Do they walk up next to a guy at the stall and say, “Hey, don’t worry because I’m not trans or gay but I see you have a nice penis there. Rock on.”

Representative Newman gave a speech and said, “I rise today on behalf of the millions of Americans who continue to be denied housing, education, public services and much, much more because they identify as members of the LGBTQ community. Americans like my own daughter, who years ago bravely came out to her parents as transgender. I knew from that day on, my daughter would be living in a nation where [in] most of its states, she could be discriminated against, merely because of who she is.”

Merely because of who she is.

There is more acceptance among the Republican Party for lunatic bully troglodyte Marjorie Taylor Greene than there is for Newman’s daughter. Yesterday, Rand Paul displayed his transphobia during the confirmation hearing for Rachel Levin for the assistant health secretary position, a physician who would be the highest-ranking openly transgender official in government history. Rand Paul was not afraid of revealing his bigotry. Like Greene, he was proud of it. Of course, these are two extreme examples because both Paul and Greene are assholes and nobody likes them.

The Equality Act needs 60 votes to pass in the Senate. In case you lost count, that means the bill needs ten Republicans. But with the likes of Mitt Romney opposing the meausre, it’s in trouble.

Tolerance is in trouble.

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Happy Costa Rica Trolling


This cartoon first ran in The Costa Rica Star, April 12, 2019.

I’m taking a break from drawing for the Star so this will be my last for the publication for the foreseeable future.

I just now noticed I forgot to erase inside the woman’s eyes.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
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Russian Troll Farm


Today, we’re going to start with the basics and have a lesson on trolls. No. Not the mythological trolls who live under bridges, though some of these trolls would probably live under a bridge if that bridge was also a Wi-Fi hotspot.

We’re going to talk about internet trolls. Now, if you do not post stuff on the internet, like political cartoons or ever engage in online debates, then…GOOD FOR YOU! That’s very healthy for your mind and it means you will never encounter trolls. But, if you are the sort (like me) who posts opinions online or engage in online debates, then you are stalked by the cretins.

There are several types of internet trolls. The first is the troll who disrupts a conversation. If you post an opinion like, “Obama kept all of his promises,” and someone comes along and says, “but he didn’t shut down Guantanamo like he promised,” that person is not a troll. Someone disagreeing with you does not make them a troll. Though at times when you disagree with a conservative, he will accuse you of being a troll if you throw logic at him that he can’t refute. That is a tactic of a troll (we’ll cover more of those tactics in a bit).

The troll who disrupts merely disrupts because he’s trying to destroy the conversation and divert it into another direction until all the conversation consists of are insults. For example, let’s say you post that Trump’s Muslim ban is bigotry and unconstitutional, as he promised to ban Muslims while he was campaigning. An internet troll will enter your discussion and tell you how Islam is a violent religion and you hate America. He might even say if you don’t like it here then you should move to Iran, which he couldn’t find on a map if his troll life depended on it.

Another tactic of the troll is the art of deflection. For instance, you might start a conversation about how Trump University is a sham. The troll will come in and say something like “Benghazi” or “lock her up.” That doesn’t make any sense, does it? No. But, if you counter the troll by pointing out that his argument doesn’t make any sense, then the troll has achieved his objective because you’re not talking about Trump University anymore. Eventually, along the way, he’s going to call you a “libtard,” “snowflake,” and perhaps tell you that you desire a “safe space.” Other favorite terms for trolls are, “Odummer,” “Obummer,” and “Killary.” I know, they’re not very creative. Trolls never are. They all use the same code words because they’re not very good at formulating thoughts on their own. Also, watch out for “thug,” as that’s their replacement for the N-word.

Other troll tactics are never quitting. You can stop replying to them, but they’ll keep it up. If you do reply, that is commonly referred as “feeding the trolls.” Other tactics are using memes with fake stuff in them, like “Obama banned the Pledge of Allegiance.” One of their most effective tactics is the use of fake quotes. This is where they take a picture of someone, usually a founding father like Thomas Jefferson, and just make up some shit that he supposedly said like, “everyone should have a gun…and shoot their brown neighbor. It’s the American thing to do.” Trolls love them some fake quotes. Half the time, they don’t even know they’re fake, and they don’t care. Facts schmacts!

Another type of troll is the one who actually creates the post and starts the conversation. For example, last week I saw one of my conservative troll-like colleagues start a discussion wailing about the injustice Stephen Colbert gave toward religion because in his monologue, he mocked the Catholic church’s stance on gluten. Yes. Someone actually complained about this. A professional cartoonist, at that. Most of the conversation that followed consisted almost entirely of his fellow trolls, who all joined the wailing about the blasphemy Colbert directed at their religion. Of course, none of these people except for the original troll saw the monologue as they were all watching Fox News. This is the type of stuff used to create a divisive climate and to spread propaganda.

Which, is what the professional trolls do. These are the trolls that put actual heavy lifting into their trolling. The propagandists who made the phony videos that claimed Planned Parenthood was selling dead baby body parts were trolling on a grand scale. They put a lot of money into that trolling. Even after the videos were debunked, even by several state governments run by Republicans, the amateur trolls still believe it. Trolls don’t need facts or logic for their beliefs. They believe stuff based on their desire to believe it, like Obama was born in Kenya, and he’s a secret Muslim who went on an apology tour for America.

Now, if you go out and vote for Donald Trump and your vote is based only on lies, the troll doesn’t care. He’s done his job. The propaganda worked and it was cheap. The other person who doesn’t care if your vote was based on lies is Donald Trump. Of course, Trump is a major troll. His favorite troll term is “fake news.”

This is where the most dangerous trolls come in (along with the ones who inspire nuts to go on a shooting frenzy). Russian trolls. The Russian trolls aren’t just trying to decide an election. They’re trying to screw up other nation’s political systems. So far, they’ve done a very good job. America is full of all types of crazy, stupid people and all they needed was a little push.

During the campaign, we knew the Russians were putting fake information on the internet. Stuff like Hillary Clinton running a child-sex-slave shop out of the basement of a D.C. pizza parlor. Never mind that it wasn’t true, or that the pizza shop targeted doesn’t even have a basement. The objective is to make you believe it. Michael Flynn’s son was tweeting out the story about “Pizzagate” while he was on the Trump Transition team, and another guy believed it so much that he took a gun to the pizza shop and started shooting. Kinda like the guy who shot up the Colorado Springs Planned Parenthood office because those videos told him they were selling dead babies.

If you take this story and help spread it around, share it on the Facebook, retweet it on Twitter, then you are what is commonly referred to as a “useful idiot,” and of course you’re a troll. And, you’re not just any kind of troll. You’re troll cattle.

The Russians have troll farms. That’s where they create shit, breed troll cattle to feed the shit, and then have the cattle spread it. If you’ve ever spread bullshit on the internet, you’re a fucking troll cow and there’s a good chance you were working for the Russians…and for free. You’re a piece of shit.

As it turns out, nearly a year after the election it’s come to our attention that the Russians weren’t just dropping fake stories on the internet. They were paying for it. They paid Facebook over $100,000 for bullshit ads. And even worse, they were advertising rallies, where trolls could gather and get pissed off together.

With the way this information has slowly been revealed by Facebook, some are wondering if Putin has a pee tape of Mark Zuckerberg (someone else made up that joke, but I don’t know who so I can’t give him or her credit).

Most of these trolls don’t know they’re trolls. But, give yourself a test. If you believe in something just because you want to believe it, then you might be a troll. If you have shared something (like a meme) and didn’t research it to find out if it’s true, then you might be a troll. Google is free, people. It’s not hard to look shit up, and you’re on the internet anyway. Something sounding like it could be true to you does not make it true. There are 25 million people who believe Kim Jong Un is a god, but that doesn’t make him a god. There were 62 million Americans who thought Donald Trump would make a good president, and that shit ain’t coming true either. Ever. And, if you believe Trump won the popular vote and there were millions of people voting illegally for Clinton, you’re a goddamn troll.

The trolls are out there. Whether they know it or not, they could be working for Russians. Look for the traits. Look for the keywords, like “Benghazi,” “lock her up,” “libtard,”  “snowflake,” and “fake news.” Or, just look for the assholes.

Creative note: A couple weeks ago a colleague posted a question for other cartoonists, asking “what do you hate drawing the most?”. The number one answer was crowds. I don’t really mind crowds and I do it fairly often (as long as I don’t have to be in an actual crowd). The second most popular answer was…grass. I agree with that. Drawing grass sucks. Grass is in strands, it’s tiny, it’s green, and it can take all freaking day, or if you take the lazy route and do it very quickly, then it can look like crap. Fortunately for me, I’m aided by the fact that I don’t draw anything realistic. It’s because I’m sloppy. But, I will still spend seven stupid hours on a cartoon, with at least one hour of that drawing grass. I’d rather draw a crowd.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.