Taxes

Debt Ceiling Cheetahs

In yesterday’s blog, I talked about how Republicans don’t actually care about corruption unless a Democrat does it. In the case of the Biden family, Republicans can only pretend there’s corruption…but they really really care about it. The same holds true to a lot of other issues, like debt.

Republicans don’t give a shit about debt except when Democrats are in power. Right now, they’re tying raising the debt ceiling to cutting government spending. That sounds nice, right? If it’s the right thing to do, then why didn’t they make those same demands during the Trump administration (sic)? Republicans raised the debt ceiling three times during Trump’s presidency (sic).

Republicans are often better at messaging than Democrats. Most people have the perception that Republicans are better with budgets and the economy. But the facts are that most economic downturns occur during Republican administrations and most government spending is created by Republicans. Republicans are as good with finances just as much as they are with patriotism (Russian meddling), law and order (January 6 and defending Trump crimes), and family values (grab them by the pussy).

Ronald Reagan added $1.86 trillion to the national debt, a 186 percent increase from the $997.8 billion debt at the end of Jimmy Carter’s last budget. Reagan was a big fan of the trickle-down myth and gave huge tax cuts to asshole billionaires.

George H. W. Bush added added $1.55 trillion to the debt, a 54 percent increase from the $2.857 trillion debt at the end of Reagan’s last budget.

George W. Bush added $5.85 trillion to the national debt, a 101 percent increase from the $5.8 trillion debt at the end of Clinton’s last budget. He funded two wars while giving billionaire assholes more tax cuts. No one could have predicted that wouldn’t work out (that’s sarcasm).

And Trump? He added nearly $7 trillion to the debt. Take in the fact that Trump added $7 trillion while only having half the time of Reagan and George W. (because he lost his reelection attempt to Joe Biden and is now a one-term loser). His greatest legislative accomplishment was giving himself a tax cut because he’s a billionaire asshole. All three times that the debt ceiling needed to be raised during the Trump presidency (sic), guess who voted for each time. House Speaker Kevin McCarthy. Do you know what preconditions they attached each time they voted to raise it? None. Zero. Zip. Nada.

But in all fairness to Republicans, there are very good reasons why they didn’t add any preconditions to raising the debt ceiling during the Trump presidency (sic). It’s because they’re lying scum-sucking hypocritical weasely stupid racist bastards who don’t actually give a flying fuck about debt. And in fact, if you listen to them, most don’t understand the debt ceiling. And according to a recent poll, most Americans don’t understand it either.

A new poll commissioned by CNN says that 60 percent of Americans only want the debt ceiling raised if spending cuts are attached to it. They don’t specify what spending they want cut, they just want cuts. But, some people do lie when asked a question by a pollster. For example, nearly half of respondents claim they have been following negotiations over the debt ceiling, but that has to be a lie…or they’re stupid. Are we a nation full of Boeberts?

Are the respondents stupid? Yes, they are. While 60 percent are on the GOP’s side with attaching spending cuts to raising the debt ceiling, only 23 percent say Republicans have the right priorities? That’s like saying Nickelback is the best band in the world while also hating bands that keep rewriting the same song over and over and over and over and…

Kevin McCarthy said, “I told the president Feb. 1, ‘I said, Mr. President, you’re not going to raise taxes. You’ve got to spend less money than was spent this year.'”

Raising the debt limit, pay attention, DOES NOT INCREASE SPENDING and despite what Fucker McCarthy said, it DOES NOT RAISE TAXES!!!! Raising the debt limit is paying off spending that’s already been agreed upon, legislated, and passed. Republicans are screaming about cutting spending before they will raise the debt ceiling while NOT working on the next budget where you do negotiate spending cuts.

And Repubicans are proposing cuts to a lot of social programs while demanding increases in others, like the defense budget. Kids, spending more money isn’t spending less money. Fact, fact, fuckity, fact, fact.

Another demand Republicans are making is to eliminate the hiring of 87,000 IRS agents over the next decade. Republicans have to lie to sell this bullshit. They claim that the new agents are being hired to come after the little guy, but most importantly, poor white people who vote Republican. They will punish you for being conservative. In fact, all these new agents will be armed with guns. Be afraid…be very afraid.

The reality is, most of the new agents are to replace retiring agents and over the ten years. Most will not be armed. And most of these hirings are so the IRS will have more manpower to go after tax cheats….you know, Billionaire assholes. Republicans circle the wagons around billionaire assholes. For example, Donald Trump paid ZERO in federal taxes in 2020. How does an asshole that claims he’s worth $10 billion come out paying zero in taxes? How does an asshole who’s worth is actually $2.5 billion come out not paying any taxes?

So when President Biden and Kevin come to terms on raising the debt limit, it won’t be enough for all the Republicans in the House. A lot of them will still vote against it. Kevin has a slim GOP majority in the House, but he will still need Democrats to pass raising the debt ceiling his demanded cuts. Have fun with that.

The majority of Americans want spending cuts attached to raising the debt limit. But, just because the majority believes in something that doesn’t make it right. Mob rule doesn’t make anything factual. Once upon a time, the majority in this nation was against gay marriage. Hell, a majority used to be against interracial marriage. In 2003, a majority of Americans were in love with the idea of invading Iraq only because it made them feel warm and squishy inside.

Kevin McCarthy created this crisis. There would not be a crisis if they simply voted to raise the debt ceiling without conditions. It would be done. The bills would be paid. It would not push the entire global economy into chaos. As it is now, the nation may be in default of its debts on June 1.

Kevin McCarthy and House Republicans are holding the entire planet hostage over this GOP-created crisis.

Musice note: I listened to Alice Cooper, Alien Ant Farm, Anna Nalick, and Audioslave (I was in the A’s).

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Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

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Trickle Clowns

Cjones06132021

Trickle down economics used to be a theory. I say “used to be” because it’s been debunked.

The theory was that lowering taxes on the richest would stimulate the economy. All those savings for the rich would gradually “trickle down” to the poor and middle class. The rich would be all like, “What do we do with all this increased income? I know….let’s invest it in our employees and community, and not spend it on swanky Manhattan penthouses, yachts, and robot dogs.” It’s a theory that was made into an economic policy. The only problem with it as an economic policy is that it relied on greedy rich assholes not being greedy rich assholes. Did the rich hire more people and increase salaries? No. They bought robot dogs.

Ronald Reagan was the first president to implement this policy but it didn’t work. I mean, it did work in that it made rich assholes even richer assholes, but it never trickled down unless the trickle was yellow. But, leave it to Republicans to double down on the trickle down. George W. Bush relied on it with major tax cuts for the rich…while paying for two wars, and Donald Trump gave major tax cuts to the rich arguing it would trickle down. It’s also a shell game when they do these tax cuts because they always lower them for the middle class at the same time…while giving the larger cuts to the rich. In Donald Trump’s case, to himself.

Republicans rely on you being too distracted and stupid from your extra $300 not to notice the rich’s extra $300 million. And in most cases, they’re right. You, as in all of us, are too stupid. I was once talking to the graphic artist at my last newspaper about us having to pay for Bush’s two wars, and his reply was, “So what? I got $300.”

It’s been over 40 years and it’s been proven trickle down economics doesn’t work. Take Jeff Bezos for example. That guy is worth close to $190 billion (with a “B”), yet his tax rate is less than one percent (with a “1”). Warren Buffett has argued for years that taxes on the rich should increase, but between 2014 to 2018, he paid right under $24 million (with an “M”) in taxes on a wealth of over $24 billion (with a “B”).

The typical middle class taxpayer pays a higher rate than billionaires like Bezos, Buffett, Elon Musk, and Michael Bloomberg. A report by ProPublica has revealed these billionaires pay very little in taxes, and sometimes none at all (none, with a “zero”).

The thing is, the United States taxes income, not wealth. Some people, like Senator Elizabeth Warren want to change that. I’m with her. Let’s tax the rich’s wealth. Let’s tax those Manhattan penthouses for mistresses. Let’s tax those yachts. Let’s tax those robot dogs. There should even be a tax for naming your snooty daughter “Ivanka.” If you give me time, I can come up with a list of names that should be taxed. We can start with “Ivanka, Tiffany, and Barron.” We should also increases taxes for boob jobs, face lifts, and rhinoplasty (with an “R”).

Much of the rich’s wealth are in things like shares in companies they run, vacation homes, yachts and other investments, which are not considered “taxable income” unless those assets are sold and a gain is realized. For example, when Derek Jeter sold his penthouse in Trump World Tower for $16 million after buying it for $13 million (both with “Ms”), there would be a tax on that (he was trying to sell it for $20 million, but it took two years to dump it. Even though it had a great view of Manhattan overlooking the Chrysler Building, Empire State Building, and One World Tower, it was still in Trump World Tower). Even then, there are loopholes in the tax code that can limit or erase all tax liability. If you are a billionaire, you pay for the best tax accountants.

President Biden wants to increase taxes on everyone with an “income” over $453,000 a year by two percent. If you’re a couple making $800,000, then you might pay an additional $5,200 a year in taxes That’s a joke, yet Republicans are fighting it. It would reverse the deductions Trump gave to the rich, including himself. But what will raising the income tax by two percent on the 25 richest Americans, who pay less than 16 percent, do other than make them chortle through their teeth? Maybe buy smaller robot dogs? Republicans act as though that two percent increase is aggressive. I’m surprised one of them hasn’t compared it to the Holocaust yet. But in all honesty, it’s still rewarding the rich for being rich.

If you’re rich, congratulations. I’m sure you worked hard to get there. OK, some of you worked hard to get there. OK, maybe fewer than some. A lot of you inherited what you have. And a whole bunch of you screwed people over to get where you are. Donald Trump, for example, did both. This is a guy who inherited his fortune, and refused to pay people building his towers and casinos. Some years, he only paid $700 in income tax…if any at all. If you make $50,000 a year, hell, $30,000, good luck getting away with only paying $700…legally. And I promise that you feel the pinch of paying $700 a lot more than Donald Trump does.

Senator Warren wants to raise taxes on the rich by two percent also…but not on income. She wants to place a two percent tax on wealth over $50 million (with an “M”). This would include stocks, gifts, homes, yachts, apartments for mistresses, towers that have to be bailed out by Saudis, stock in Grey Poupon, robot dogs (I’m not over robot dogs yet), etc. We can call it the “Asshole tax” (with an “A”).

The rich will always be able to find loopholes. They could spread their property out through their children, who may not be worth $50 million yet. And, those kids would still be tax deductions. Can a robot dog own an apartment? Can you deduct a robot dog? I bet one of these rich jerks has tried.

Over the past few decades, the income gap has increased. The rich have gotten richer while the poor and middle class have not. Wages have remained stagnant. And even when they do increase salaries, they pass it to the consumers who will have to pay 36 cents more for a burrito at Chipotle (I don’t get why everyone love Chipotle? What’s up with that? The food’s dull and boring. They can’t even make a decent taco). When companies raise salaries, they don’t plan for it to cut into their profits or wealth. They plan for you to pay it. It’s why some places charge you for ranch dipping sauce. Don’t believe me? Go to Little Caesars. Their pizza pizza can be a rip-off rip-off.

Republicans have always championed the rich and demonized the poor. Even Ronald Reagan went after welfare recipients, often fictionalizing them and describing one as a “welfare queen” (guess what color she was), while we spend double of social welfare on corporate welfare. We want to piss test people trying to feed their children but we’re not making corporate executives being paid millions of dollars, while their companies are collecting welfare, pee in cups. Hell, if an executive can increase the welfare his company receives, it’s probably another bonus where he can buy a new yacht…that won’t be taxed. Senator Warren…put it in your bill that they have to pee in cups.

If we are depending on this nation to prosper only from the generosity of the rich, we’re fucked….with a capital “F.”

Hopefully, after this column and cartoon is published, no rich asshole sends his robot dog to bite me.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have two copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

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Biden Tax Hike

Cjones04082021

Fox News, Rupert Murdoch’s Wall Street Journal, and other Republican outlets are playing Chicken Little over President Biden’s $2 trillion infrastructure plan and proposed tax hikes.

Oh my god! We knew it. Elect a socialist commie-hugging tax-and-spend liberal like Joe Biden, and taxes are going to go up. We told you so. Now, we’re all going to rue the day! “Rue” means you look back on the past and it’s often used with regret. For example: I rue the day I contributed to the Trump Campaign because they keep those donations recurring and all my shit bounced.

But if we’re going to rue, let’s rue on tax cuts. Ronald Reagan gave huge tax cuts to corporations and rich bastards. The idea was that giving rich people tax cuts would make them spend more. They’d hire more poor people. The rich would take that extra income and invest it into their businesses. They screamed it allowed hard workers and earners to keep more of their own money and it got government out of their pockets. Rich people having more money meant more people would have more money. They called it “trickle down.”

As we rue on that, we wonder, were Republicans merely wrong or were they lying? “Trickle down” never happened. Shockingly, greedy rich bastards didn’t trickle shit. They would normally take that money and put it into stocks, their savings, or into off-shore bank accounts. It didn’t make them hire more.

In 2017, Donald Trump and Mitch McConnell told us their tax cuts for billionaire assholes would trickle down and rich bastards’ investments into the economy wouldn’t hurt the federal budget because they would pay for themselves; we knew they were lying. We knew they were lying when George W. Bush tried to finance two wars with tax cuts for billionaire assholes.

When Donald Trump gave tax cuts to you and corporations, only those to corporations were permanent. The tax cuts he gave you expire. But all the Republican mofos giving out dire warnings about what this will do to the federal debt were silent on that shit when they were giving billionaires tax cuts. They were silent about the deficit when Donald Trump gave himself a tax cut. They were silent when they eliminated the inheritance tax for trust-fund babies like Ivanka, Tiffany, Don Jr, and Eric. There should be a fucking tax for naming your kid “Ivanka.”

Republicans are good at convincing poor whites tax cuts for billionaires will help them, even though we’ve had over 40 years of that not happening. President Obama gave the poor and middle class tax cuts, but most of the white people who received the Obama tax cuts don’t recall them, despite the fact they were bigger cuts for them than the ones Trump gave them. That’s a fact. Now, they’re going to freak out because President Joe Biden is going to raise taxes.

Except, President Biden is not raising their taxes. Unless you are a big corporation or an individual making over $400,000 a year, you’re going to be OK. But honestly, if you are a big corporation or making over $400,000 a year, you’re still going to be OK.

Here are the facts: President Biden is NOT raising your taxes. He’s raising the top individual tax rate from 37 percent to the pre-Trump rate of 39.6 percent. That’s a 2.6 percent increase for people who make an obscene amount of money. The corporate rate would rise from 21 percent to 28 percent. A 15 percent alternative minimum tax would apply to corporate book income of $100 million and higher. If you don’t know what “corporate book income” means, you’re going to be OK from this tax hike. I’ll tell you what it means though: All those corporations making profits but find ways not to pay any federal taxes, like Amazon, will be forced to pay taxes. Go, Joe Biden!!!!

People making over $400,000 will pay additional payroll taxes. The estate tax exemption would drop by about 50 percent. Taxpayers whose income exceeds $1 million would pay the same rate on investment income as applies to wages. The carried interest “loophole,” claimed by many private-equity and hedge-fund managers, would be eliminated.

Also, the maximum Child and Dependent Tax Credit would rise from $3,000 to $8,000 ($16,000 for more than one dependent). Tax relief would be offered for student debt forgiveness and the first-time homebuyers credit would be restored.

I’ve heard it explained before that the reason poor people vote for Republican policies is because they believe they’re also rich. They just haven’t gotten their money yet. That investment is going to happen, or an inheritance will hit, or they’ll win the lottery, or maybe win a major liability lawsuit after slipping in the KY-jelly aisle at Walmart. Stop wearing your fucking house slippers to Walmart, assholes.

The majority of people receiving welfare benefits are white. Most of them vote Republican. I doubt a lot of them are reading Murdoch’s Wall Street Journal, or any newspaper, but they’re watching his network that’s scaring them over tax cuts that won’t hit them. If anything, their paychecks are going to increase. Here’s another fact: President Joe Biden just gave each of them an additional $1,400. There is a fine art to screaming about the federal debt while cashing in $1,400 from the government. By the way, Rupert Murdoch is worth somewhere between $13 and $19 billion. If you’re crying for Rupert, come over here so I can hit you in the face with nunchakus.

With Joe Biden’s tax hikes, you’re going to be OK. Rupert Murdoch will be OK. He will not have to pawn any of his private jets, so don’t lose any sleep over that.

Don’t get angry over tax hikes on the rich. What should have been making you angry are the corporations that don’t just get huge tax cuts, but often receive their own welfare checks from the government. Our government spends double on corporate welfare for companies like Exxon than it spends on social welfare that provides milk to babies.

I have an entirely separate angry rant over motherfuckers who scream about social welfare but are silent over corporate welfare. If you are one of them, you might be a racist.

What should make you angry is that 91 corporations paid zero in federal taxes in 2018. Companies like Netflix, Amazon, Delta, Chevron, Gannett (motherfuckers!), IBM, Haliburton, General Motors, Good Year, Jetblue, Whirlpool, Honeywell, Coors, etc, etc.

IBM made $500 million and got a tax rebate of $342 million. Coors made $1.3 billion and got a rebate of $22.9 million. What about Amazon? They made over $11 billion. That’s “billion” with a “B.” They got a rebate of $129 million. My question: How can I get one of their tax lawyers to do my taxes? These companies are reporting millions and billions in profits and getting rebates.

If you’re getting angry over President Biden forcing these corporations to actually pay taxes, then you’re probably never going to be a millionaire because you are too stupid. The only way stupid people become millionaires is if it’s given to them. Look at Donald Trump, who by the way, has had years where he paid less than $700 in income tax.

I’m a freelancer which means I don’t get a tax refund. Even though I don’t make much, I send the United States Treasury money every year. When I’m sending money and see that Amazon is getting a rebate and a guy boasting he’s worth over $5 billion only paying a few hundred, I get angry.

I haven’t done my taxes for 2020 yet. Why? Partly because I procrastinate, it’s a lot of work, and I know I’m going to get angry.

Stop getting angry at the wrong people.

Note on trailers: I don’t mean to be an elitist snob to people who live in trailers. Who am I to be a snob when I live in a studio apartment over a taco restaurant? I do not make a lot of money. I’m poor. Plus, I have lived in trailers, as a kid and a young adult. But, I seriously doubt there’s anyone living in a mobile home making over $400,000 a year. Sorry to play the stereotype of lower-income white Republicans in trailer parks but I thought it was the best way for me to make my point. I do know some liberals who live in trailers and it’s for them I’m writing this note.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have THREE copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

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Cognitive Trump

cjones07162020

When Donald Trump revealed he took a cognitive test, his manner of describing it made you think he needs to take a cognitive test.

Donald Trump told Sean Hannity, “I actually took one when I — very recently, when I — when I was (this is where he seems to stop himself before revealing why he was rushed on a sudden unscheduled trip to the Walter Reed hospital last November) — the radical left were saying, is he all there? Is he all there? And I proved I was all there, because I got — I aced it. I aced the test.”

Then he said Joe Biden should take the same test while also boasting about how good he was at “acing” the test. He said, “He should take the same exact test, a very standard test. I took it at Walter Reed Medical Center in front of doctors, And they were very surprised. They said, that’s an unbelievable thing. Rarely does anybody do what you just did. But he should take that same test.”

Rarely does anybody reveal the shit they’re saying freaked people out enough to the point they had him take a cognitive test.

Here’s the thing folks, nobody takes a cognitive test as a leisurely activity. I mean, you could probably find some site on the internet and take one for shits and giggles like you can with a citizenship test. But when most people take a cognitive test, it’s because there are concerns you should take a cognitive test. It’s because you appear non-cognitive like you went into a closet and pooped in all the shoes.

For example, nobody ever brought up the subject of a cognitive test during the Obama administration. President Barack Obama never boasted about passing a cognitive test.

And maybe you do pass the cognitive test. If you are able to successfully identify a photo of a camel, state the date and time, can draw a clock with the time 10 past 11, and can count down from 100 by sevens, they should probably let you continue to drive a car, but because there was so much concern over your cognitive abilities, you probably should not have access to the nuclear codes.

And maybe this cognitive thing with Trump proves he’s not racist and he honestly couldn’t get past his own name being shouted in a video to realize fuckers in it were also shouting “white power” before he retweeted it.

But how bad is the new normal where the president (sic) is bragging about passing a cognitive test and boast that he was being praised for it like he’s a toddler? What’s next? Is he going to brag about having the cognitive ability to wipe his own butt? That’s plausible because recently, he displayed he still has the ability to lift a glass with one hand and his audience cheered him for it. What a big boy you are. What a low bar we’ve set.

And what’s the deal with bragging about taking a cognitive test, demanding your political opponent take one as well, then not releasing the results of your cognitive test? It’s like that time he screamed about President Obama’s school records being sealed while not releasing his own school records. This fucker won’t even release his SAT score and he hired a nerd to take that for him. What’s next? Is he going to demand Joe Biden to release his tax returns (he actually already has)? It’s not like Joe Biden is fighting in the Supreme Court to keep his taxes concealed.

Finally, the other thing is, if Donald Trump says he passed a cognitive test, that means he failed it. The man is a liar and basically, everything he says turns out to be untrue and he turns to be everything he accuses others of being. Donald Trump is a fucking moron.

Passing a cognitive test? What Donald Trump doesn’t get is that he shouldn’t have had to take one. When is he going to brag about passing an STD test after cheating on his wife? And what flavor lollipop did the doctor give him after passing the test?

Let me remind you why there is a Trump baby balloon. Because Donald Trump is a huge, gassy baby.

The truth of the matter is, we should be freaking terrified and scared shitless to the point we don’t sleep because this idiot who suggested drinking bleach to kill a virus is the president (sic) of the United States…and he has the nuclear codes!

If you’re not, you should probably take a cognitive test.

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Trump Your Refund, Cartoon for CNN

CNN04142019

Here’s your weekly cartoon for CNN’s weekly newsletter, Provoke/Persuade. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday for the rest of your life.

Don’t think there’s not a connection between Trump being the first president in forty years not to release his taxes and his corporation doing business with foreign governments. You would have to be blind, dense, obtuse, and an all-around friggin idiot not to connect these dots. In other words, you would have to be a Trump supporter.

So I don’t get in actual legal trouble, I should say it’s my opinion that Donald Trump is corrupt…except it’s a fact. Donald Trump is corrupt. He is corrupt financially, business-wise, and as a human being. Richard Nixon said, “people have got to know whether or not their President is a crook.” Donald Trump doesn’t care if people know he’s corrupt. What’s worse, his supporters don’t care if he’s corrupt.

This is where you see Republicans kicking and screaming defending him from showing anyone his tax returns. Why would you not want to see these? Donald Trump is a man who stiffed contractors, driving many out of business, operated a fake university, stole from charity, and even bankrupted a casino. He’s told nearly 10,000 lies since walking into the Oval Office. So yeah, let’s trust this guy when he says he’s not making money off the presidency or there isn’t a financial conflict of interest between him doing his job and making money off Saudi Arabia, Turkey, the United Arab Emirates, etc.

Trump donates his presidential salary of $400,000 back to the government and his supporters make a lot of noise about this. What they overlook is how much the government pays for his golf trips which have so far totaled around $96 million in the span of two years. Some of that golf trip money is going back into his pocket. When he visits his resorts, he charges the government for staying there. He charges the Secret Service rent at Trump Tower and at his resorts. He even charges them for golf cart rentals as they follow him around while he cheats on the course.

Trump doesn’t just make money off the U.S. government. Why do you think he takes the premier of China and the Prime Minister of Japan to Mar-a-Lago? Those governments have to pay to rent rooms there. His hotels, which were in deep financial trouble before he came into office, are doing brisk business now with foreign governments. They know the quickest route to get preferential treatment from Trump is through his ego and his wallet. Saudi Arabia has rented rooms from Trump that they didn’t even use. Every right-wing convention that comes to Washington now has to rent the ballroom at Trump’s new Washington Hotel. Trump even nixed the plans for the FBI to move from downtown Washington out of fear that a competing hotel would move into their location. Donald Trump is corrupt.

Now, his Chief-of-Staff Mick Mulvaney vows that Congress will never see Trump’s tax returns. Whey they say “Congress,” they mean you. They vow you will never see his tax returns.

Trump claims he can’t release his taxes because they are under audit. A president’s tax returns are automatically audited, but we don’t know if they were under audit when he first made that claim. Even if they were under audit, it doesn’t matter. There is nothing that prohibits a politician from releasing his taxes while they’re under audit. In fact, many people have released their taxes while they were under audit.

So, if you haven’t filed your taxes yet (tomorrow is the deadline), keep in mind that Trump does not want you to see his taxes. Also, keep in mind the huge tax break Trump and Republicans gave to America’s richest assholes, including Trump. Trump’s biggest priority, other than pushing a racist agenda on America, was to give himself a huge tax cut. He gave you a tiny temporary cut while he gave a huge permanent one to corporations. Guess who’s a corporation. Donald Trump.

In 2019, people have to realize that their president is a crook.

On a personal note, I completed my taxes around 8:00 am today and I don’t see how the Trump and Republican changes helped me at all.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch the video.

Trump Tax Scam

cjones02132019

If you voted for Donald Trump and you’re paying more in taxes this year than you did under Obama, it’s because you voted for Donald Trump. Welcome to MAGA.

Donald Trump’s biggest achievement in the two years since he started destroying America was giving himself a massive tax cut. It wasn’t a wall on our southern border paid for by Mexico. It wasn’t repealing Obamacare. It wasn’t even “locking her up.” It was giving himself a tax cut.

Trump claimed that the tax cut wouldn’t benefit him at all. Of course, like all things Trump has ever said, that was a lie. We knew it was a lie when he said it but that didn’t stop him from repeating it again and again. It didn’t stop Trump sycophants from saying “it won’t benefit him because he said so.” Tax experts estimate that Trump will personally save $15 million a year from these tax cuts. Jared Kushner will save around $12 million. Several members of his cabinet are expected to save $4.5 million each, including Betsy DeVos, Linda McMahon, Steve Baby Fishmouth Mnuchin, and Wilbur Ross, all rich assholes.

When I mentioned tax experts, I wasn’t talking about Ivanka Trump. When the tax legislation was being debated in late 2017, Ivanka went out and told everyone how they’ll see the gains in April 2018 and also be able to file their taxes on a postcard.

Ivanka Trump, Daddy’s little princess, has obviously never ever, ever, ever filed her own taxes in her entire ain’t-you-special sweet little life. You don’t need to be a tax expert to know that the taxes you file are for the previous year. Hence, 2018 filings would be for 2017. The tax cuts for assholes bill passed in December 2017 (in case you’re a Republican, December is the last month of the year. It’s when you’re hearing all that Christmas music and eating all that ham). That means none of it would affect you until 2018. Thus, if you’re a Trump supporter, you won’t be horrified until you start filing in 2019, and most likely NOT on a postcard.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand, horrified is exactly how many Trump supporters are reacting. Many have already filed their taxes to discover they’re actually paying back now when under Obama, they got refunds. My own horror won’t happen until April 14th, because I procrastinate with everything.

The thing is the Republicans removed a lot of deductions, like for state and local taxes for people like you and me. Why? Because they don’t care about people like you and me. If you’re a Trump supporter, you’re probably not a rich asshole. You’re just a regular asshole…who’s going to be paying more in taxes now.

A lot of MAGA hat shitheads went on Twitter to express their dismay and outrage. Who could have predicted that voting for a rich, selfish, narcissistic asshole would only work out for rich, selfish, narcissistic assholes? For Trump to win them back, he’s going to have to do something extra racist. How about a talking border wall that screams racial epithets? “Well, I’m paying $4,000 more in taxes now, but the wall’s gonna scream ‘beaner,’ so I’m good. Trump 2020!”

In case racial insults don’t make the pain go away from paying these taxes, there are always payday loans, which Trump and the Republican Congress also removed restrictions from, so predatory lending can be even easier now.

In 2009 during his State of the Union address, President Obama was talking about healthcare reform and that it wouldn’t insure people in the nation illegally. It was kinda stupid that he even had to debunk a ridiculous right-wing rumor. Nevertheless, Republican Joe Wilson shouted, “You lie!” Of course, the only liar was Joe Wilson, who is still in Congress…lying about shit.

That’s exactly how Republicans are. They scream “liar” at the guy telling the truth and trying to help Americans and applaud and worship the lying fucker who’s fucking them over.

That’s MAGA.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch the video.

Trump Man

cjones10032016

I feel a little bad using “Taxman” from The Beatles for this cartoon. The Beatles were brilliant song writers (except for Ringo) and Trump is only a brilliant con man.

It’s not the first time Donald Trump had a rough week. The week after the Republican National Convention Trump squandered any momentum he may have gained by feuding with the parents of an American soldier who died in Iraq.

Last week Trump was coming off a horrible debate performance when he decided to top it with a 3:00 AM tirade on Twitter toward a former Miss Universe he once called “Miss Piggy.” Usually when one engages in such nocturnal activity it’s referred as “drunk dialing.” You never text a girl when you’re drunk, or call, or tweet. You wake up the next morning not being able to relate to anything you discovered you sent..and then you recoil in sheer terror. That’s what people tell me. But Trump doesn’t drink…or apparently snort cocaine, which leads us with the last possible theory that he’s an immature, juvenile idiot with a major self esteem problem. Instead of texting a girl at 3:00 with “show me your boobs” he tweeted to his 12 million followers that the former Miss Universe was a horrible person who had made a sex tape, which nobody has found to exist.

He spent the rest of the week complaining about his debate microphone, claiming he won the debate because Breitbart said so, speculated on Bill Clinton’s sex life, Hillary’s health and openly mocked her for having pneumonia, and even made the claim that she’s been unfaithful to her husband. Newsweek published a story accusing Trump of violating the embargo against Cuba. On top of all that, several newspapers that normally go for Republicans refused to endorse him The man is on a roll.

A few days ago a reporter for The New York Times discovered copies of Trump’s 1995 tax returns sent anonymously from someone in the Trump organization. His employees must really love him.

Usually when the press prints something from anonymous sources the reporter knows who the source is. The Times decided to publish the Trump tax story despite not knowing the source, but after talking to several tax experts who suggested that the documents were in line with accounting permissible under the federal tax code in 1995. They also talked to the accountant who confirmed he had prepared the taxes.

Another aspect to the story is that a lawyer for Trump emailed a letter to the paper threatening “prompt initiation of appropriate legal action” if the newspaper published the private documents. They refused to confirm or deny the authenticity of the documents. That makes it a story on top of the fact Trump still refuses to release his tax returns to the public. He’s still claiming he’s under audit and can’t release them during the process, which is a fat, juicy, orange lie.

What really makes it a story is that Trump has tweeted in the past complaining about people who don’t pay taxes while the government is in debt and our infrastructure is in decline. Who knew Donald Trump was in the 47% of Mitt Romney’s description of lazy slackers who feel entitled to government benefits who never pay income taxes.

What the Times discovered was that Trump had declared a $916 million loss in 1995, wiping out any federal taxes that year and setting himself up to avoid 18 years of similar obligations. What a smart businessman. I guess the rest of us are stupid suckers. Well, those who intend to vote for The Donald are.

Trump claims he knows the tax system better than anyone else, since he’s so good at taking advantage of it and making the rest of us carry the burden of funding our nation, education, infrastructure funding, our military, etc, so naturally he’s the “only” one who can fix it. I’ve heard of former burglars becoming security experts but you wouldn’t normally hire the guy to guard your house who initially broke into it and stole your stereo and ceramic Elvises collection.

A few interesting details about the song “Taxman”: George Harrison wasn’t that prolific of a songwriter at the time he wrote the tune. He discovered The Beatles were shelling out 95% of their income in taxes. Though George was the lead guitar player Paul McCartney (who was the bass player) nailed the solo on the track. The song was the opening number on their 1966 album Revolver (my favorite Beatles’ album) and the only time George had the lead tune. I’m a Beatles geek.

In 2006 Ken Cuccinelli attempted to make “Taxman” the state song of Virginia. He was a senator at the time and went on to become Attorney General and waste state resources fighting Obamacare, abortion, the University of Virginia over Climate Change. His state-song effort failed in the state senate. Fortunately he later failed as the Republican party’s gubernatorial nominee.

Republicans need to keep their hands off songs by The Beatles. You don’t see Democrats co-opting “Cat Scratch Fever.” I’m mostly surprised they didn’t go for “Happiness Is A Warm Gun.”

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Show Me The Money…Or Not

cjones05192016

It was an interesting and busy news day for the Trump Train.

Donald Trump met with former Secretary of State Henry Kissinger to discuss foreign policy. I hope he didn’t fall asleep as this is an area where The Donald doesn’t have any interest.

He also said he would talk to North Korean leader Kim Jong Un directly face-t-face. I had a cartoon idea for that one where he and Kim get into a hair debate. I decided against it as I figured a lot of other cartoonists would go there. One cartoonist and a buddy of mine was inspired by my tweet (he told me so) that he went ahead and drew one. Maybe I had to point out that it was obvious.

Trump released a bunch of names of people he’d consider for the Supreme Court. Little premature, right? This is a move to show the base he is a conservative and not trying to put his liberal sister on the court as each pick is anti-women, anti-LGBT, anti-voting, anti-civil rights, etc. This might help with finally getting that Paul Ryan endorsement. Also, each one of these individuals is very white.

Trump’s wife Melania issued a statement that Donald is not Hitler. Really? The best defense of the guy, from his wife, is that he’s NOT Hitler? Gee, it sucks being married to this person but hey, they’re not Hitler. They should put that underneath the slogan on the cap. “Make America Great Again. Also, not Hitler.”

Since none of this news was creepy enough, Trump’s daughter Ivanka spoke to the press and assures us that her dad is “not a groper.” This from the woman whose father said he’d be dating her if she wasn’t his daughter. Seriously? Your kid is talking about your sex life? It seems if you were a groper that you wouldn’t conduct yourself that way around your child. Hey, he’s gotta respect women because he made his daughter head of his company.

Finally we come to Trump’s taxes. The guy still won’t release them. He says he can’t because he’s being audited. Yes he can. The audit doesn’t stop that. He released a financial report to show us that yes, he really is rich. That doesn’t show how he made his money, where his money comes from, who he’s in bed with, or how much he gives to taxes.

Trump’s surrogates who are not sleeping with him, that means they’re not his wife or daughter (glad they’re not the same person so he has that going for him), tell us how much the Trump charity gives to worthy causes. The thing is, that’s not Trump’s money. That’s other people’s money.

If you look into Trump’s business history he has a habit of having other people finance his projects and then they go belly up. Now he’s asking people to contribute to his campaign. I’m sure that’ll be as successful as one of his Atlantic City casinos. More of a gamble too.

To sum up: Trump. Still rich. Wants to pal with Kim Jong Un and compliment him on shooting family members. Very conservative. Being advised by Kissinger. Not a gropey Hitler.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!