Spy Vs Spy

Juicy Intel


cjones11202019

One revelation from last week’s impeachment hearings is that the ambassador to the European Union, Gordon Sondland, was talking to Donald Trump on a cell phone from a restaurant in Kyiv, Ukraine. This is potentially dangerous.

Donald Trump has never taken security seriously. He overruled the FBI in giving his idiot son-in-law, Jared Kushner, a security clearance. He did the same with his daughter, Ivanka. Those with security clearances have to go through extreme background checks that often take months. It’s very stressful and invasive. Not only can’t you lie, you also can’t make mistakes. So you can imagine there being some bitterness when Donald Trump, who couldn’t get a security clearance if his life depended on it, is handing them out like Pez to people who have lied on their applications. The only qualification his stupid kids needed for their security clearances was being related to Donald Trump.

Trump also gave away classified information to Russians in the Oval Office. What made this worse is that the intel came from an ally. It wasn’t ours to give. On top of that, he allowed the Russians to bring recording equipment into the White House while he kicked out the American press.

In the past, he’s tweeted out classified information. He revealed there are nuclear weapons in Turkey which were something our government had never admitted.

While visiting the border, an agent declined to divulge classified information about their work after Trump prodded him to.

It’s been reported that Trump is careless with his own cell phone, ignoring procedures and protocols over its use. Washington is full of spies. Even our friends spy on us. It makes you wonder how much intel they’ve gathered from Trump’s nightly phone chats with Sean Hannity.

Trump has had private meetings with Putin and Kim Jong Un without any Americans in the room, except for a translator, whom he then told to burn her notes. His first National Security Adviser was a guy who had been on Russia’s payroll.

And now, it appears he was talking to an ambassador who was on a cell phone in a nation full of spies.

You can argue it’s the ambassador’s fault. He’s the one on the cell phone. But Trump should have known. He should have taken precautions.

Why would Gordon Sondland be so careless? He’s an ambassador. He’s been trained in this, right? Probably, but he may not understand the seriousness of it to the extent a career diplomat would. Sondland’s qualification to be an ambassador is that he gave Donald Trump’s inauguration committee a million dollars.

Presidents always appoint campaign donors to ambassadorships. Obama, Clinton, both Bushes, and Reagan all did it (Reagan made Shirley Temple an ambassador). Trump’s doing it now. But with Sondland, he didn’t just make him an ambassador to some tiny nation that Trump couldn’t find on a map (OK, that’s a lot of nations), he appointed him to the European Union. That’s a very important post. On top of that Trump fuckery, he put him in charge of his Ukraine dealings to coordinate with Rudy Giuliani, who hasn’t been appointed to anything. Ukraine is NOT in the European Union.

Trump tweeted a few days ago that he has absolute power to appoint ambassadors. That’s not true. He does have the power to appoint and they serve at his pleasure. But, it’s not absolute. Ambassadors, just like judges and cabinet members, have to be confirmed by the Senate. The Republicans who control the Senate rubber stamp the majority of Trump’s stupid appointments, but there is still checks and balances. Congress, along with the courts, is an equal branch of government to the presidency. That will change if Trump is not removed and is reelected.

Donald Trump is a national security risk. He has been since day one. Make no butts about it.

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You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

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New Book: Tales From The Trumpster Fire

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Spy Vs Orange Spy


cjones09172019

Here’s a catch-22 for Donald Trump. He can say the press is right that a spy was extracted from the Kremlin out of fears his big, fat, treasonous mouth would expose him to Vladimir Putin, or he can say the media is wrong and he was pulled out because details in their reporting of Russian meddling in the 2016 election was exposing the spy. Option one admits he’s a threat to national security either inadvertently out of stupidity or on purpose out of treason. If he picks option two, he admits there was Russian meddling. Donald Trump is not smart enough to catch or wiggle his way around that. Neither are his supporters. Go have fun with that today, kids while arguing on social media with the fucknuts.

The CIA is saying the press got it wrong and he was extracted because of option two and journalists picked up details about the CIA’s Kremlin sources. But, the CIA offered to pull the spy out in 2016 and he refused. They offered again in 2017 after Donald Trump was elected, and the spy accepted. And why wouldn’t he?

Donald Trump gives Russia preferential treatment over the United States. If you don’t believe me, just look at his reactions to the Russia investigation. Donald Trump created a lie that President Obama wiretapped Trump Tower. Then, he created a lie that the FBI planted a spy into his presidential campaign. Vladimir Putin did actually try, and maybe succeeded, in planting a spy in the Trump Campaign and President Dotard has never expressed any emotion over that or has even acknowledged it. That’d be like getting upset over an imaginary dog peeing on your tires after a Gorilla took a crap on your back seat.

Decades ago, the CIA recruited a midlevel Russian official who then advanced through the government’s ranks. The agency struck gold as he eventually gained access to the highest levels of the Kremlin. He became one of the CIA’s most important, and protected assets during the 2016 presidential election. He was protected to the point that he was not included in any of President Obama’s daily briefings so to limit the number of people with knowledge of the spy, and instead separate intelligence reports were sent to the president in specially-sealed envelopes.

The spy was able to confirm that Putin ordered and orchestrated Russia’s interference in our election himself and that the Russian president affirmatively favored Trump and personally ordered the hacking of the Democratic National Committee.

How do you think Putin would have reacted to catching a spy in the Kremlin? In March 2018, Russia poisoned a former spy and his daughter…in England.

So, if you’re a spy in the Kremlin feeding information to the CIA, you may feel a little nervous with an American presidential candidate praising Putin repeatedly while disparaging his own president. After that candidate is elected, you would probably get the night sweats. After seeing that president reveal classified information to the Russian ambassador and foreign minister in the Oval freaking Office, you would probably call the CIA and scream, “Get me the fuck out of here.”

If the spy wasn’t extracted by the Helsinki Summit, he may have thrown own ass off a building.

Donald Trump has had private, closed-door meetings with Putin. Trump has talked to Putin with only the Russian’s interpreter present. Trump has ordered an American interpreter to burn her notes after a closed-door session with Putin. Trump, while standing next to Putin, took his word that Russia didn’t meddle in our election over that of America’s intelligence agencies. Donald Trump, according to reports, even offered Putin a bribe to erect a Trump Tower in Moscow when he was a presidential candidate (instead, Putin bought Trump). Last week, Donald Trump tweeted a classified photo. So yeah, I’m sure that spy wanted out of Russia all because of the U.S. media.

Here’s a fun fact: Donald Trump has only polled above 50% in two nations and one of them is not the United States. One of those nations is Israel and I’ll give you only one guess for the other. If you’re a Republican, I’ll give you a hint: There’s been a few mentions of it already in today’s blog. Hey, I said only one hint.

The spy’s identity and location have not been reported. For his safety, let’s hope Donald Trump hasn’t been told.

Creative notes: I use two copy editors for my cartoons, Laura and Hilary. They’re wonderful. They both caught “by who” in this cartoon and said “by whom” is correct. But, they both said to keep “by who.” Laura said that nobody talks that way and “by whom” sounds “stilted.” Hilary wasn’t as delicate and said “by whom,” and I’m quoting her here…sounds “douchey.”

I love them.

Support the cartoonist.

As I noted in a previous cartoon, these are perilous times for political cartoonists. But you can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print).I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

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Spy-a-Lago


cjones04102019

It’s not just for the president’s safety that his security is of the utmost importance. You may be saying, “But, Clay…what’s the point of keeping freaks away from Trump when he chooses to surround himself with freaks and is himself, an Adderall-riddled lunatic?” True, Trump keeps company and appoints a consortium of slimeballs, grifters, fucknuts, and shitweasels. But, we have to take national security seriously, even if the president doesn’t and even sells it to the highest bidder.

The Secret Service needs to do everything in its power to protect Donald Trump from physical harm. Do you really want the man to become a martyr and spend the rest of your life listening to sycophants’ conspiracy theories? You know they’d say Obama did it. The other thing is where Donald Trump goes, so does national security. For the Secret Service, he makes their extremely difficult job even harder by lounging at a resort.

Last weekend, during Donald Trump’s 77th presidential golf trip, a Chinese woman carrying four cellphones, a hard drive, a laptop, and a malware-infected thumb drive was arrested at Trump’s pompous Florida golf resort, Mar-a-Lago. She got through the Secret Service by claiming she was there to swim and attend an event that was not happening. She didn’t even have a swimsuit but she was loaded with recording devices like a Russian photographer invited into the Oval Office. It was a staffer of the club who caught her. The most shocking revelation out of this is that Trump actually hired someone smart enough to catch it.

Trump blew off the incident by calling it a fluke because the fault of this doesn’t just lie with the Secret Service. It falls on him too. First, he doesn’t vacation at a home, compound, or ranch like previous presidents. He has to visit a club so hundreds of people can fawn over him, tell him his hands aren’t really that small, and listen to him talk about how smart he is. He likes to crash weddings at his club.

The second problem is, he invites access to him. The club sells memberships by winking to members that they’ll have access to the president and his family. This is selling access. The club doubled their membership fees after Trump was elected. If you’re a Russian, Chinese, or Saudi Arabian spy, part of your budget will be purchasing a membership to one of his clubs.

The third problem is, Trump is careless with national security. He doesn’t follow guidelines for using secure phones as he thinks that’s too much of a hassle. He hands out security clearances to grifters and family members (I know. Redundant) like they’re Skittles. His son-in-law, who got a security clearance from Trump after being rejected by the FBI, talks to the Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia through WhatsApp. Trump hands over classified information to Russians in the Oval Office that we received from allies. He even held a meeting on strikes on Syria at Mar-a-Lago in front of guests while they were looking over his shoulders, taking photos with their cellphones, and tweeting those photos. Once, he allowed guests to pose with the nuclear football.

Donald Trump is a national security risk.

People who negotiate with Trump understand he’s a flake who surrenders. He surrendered on the shutdown, his threat to end Obamacare, and his threat to close the border. Just like negotiators, spies know all they have to do to run surveillance on the president is to go after his phones and buy a club membership. He’ll even take a selfie with the spy. This is a man whose campaign invited Russians into their headquarters. They don’t tell spies to go away and they don’t call the FBI when they show up.

It helps our foreign adversaries that the president of the United States is an idiot who’s a sucker for ego gratification. Everyone knows how to play him which is through parades, sword dances, and fake blondes who look like his daughter.

The Secret Service needs to protect Trump from spies by protecting Trump from himself. When they protect Trump, they’re protecting us. Now, if only they’d protect us from Trump.

Confession: My biggest influences are the work of Sergio Aragones and Don Martin from Mad Magazine. But, Spy vs Spy, which is a very famous feature of Mad, never did anything for me. If you don’t hate me yet you will after I tell you that I never dug the fold-in back cover either.

However, I do enjoy drawing the Spies from Spy vs Spy. They’re easy.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

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