Republican Pedophile


Back in the late 90’s during the Clinton administration Republicans spent over $70 million investigating a land transaction the president was involved with while he was governor of Arkansas. Republicans, who are always champions of limited government spending, only uncovered a consensual sex act between Clinton and an intern, so they impeached him and slut shamed her.

Unfortunately for them their Speaker of the House at the time was Newt Gingrich, who had his own sexual infractions, so he resigned to be replaced by Bob Livingston, who also had sexual transgressions. How are uptight Republicans supposed to impeach a guy for sex when their leaders are also bedroom bad guys? They figured it out by making a pedophile their Speaker.

Dennis Hastert was a high school wrestling coach before he went to Congress. During that time he was a pedophile. I’m supposed to write “accused” but screw that. He’s a pedophile. He put a Lazyboy recliner in the boys shower. That’s some serious commitment to watching young boys get naked and lathered up. You would think the barcalounger in the shower would have raised suspicions and concerns. Hell, a stool should have raised awareness or how about the coach even hanging out in the shower with the boys?

Hastert is accused of molesting five boys while he was a coach. His defense team says all he did was a “groin rub” to one of the boys. OK yeah, all is forgiven because rubbing a young boy’s groin regions is perfectly understandable, right? After that Denny massaged the young boy’s back and slept in the same bed. What? The claim is the teen had a groin pull so Hastert massaged it. Sounds like his groin was pulled alright.

So Republicans, those champions of saving us from sex freaks, are writing legislation bullying and shaming transgenders over what bathrooms they use in public. These Republicans are about as good with government staying out of our private lives as they are with fiscal matters.

Republicans lead Democrats 10-1 when it comes to sex scandals. Maybe they should stop worrying about what other people are doing in their private lives. They could spend the free time studying rape and understanding that definition.

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