Security Clearance

Trumpy Gator Balls


cjones04082019

Golfer Arnold Palmer has been quoted, “I never do a business deal until I played 18 holes with a guy.” The logic is that in four hours (which I’m assuming is how long it takes to play 18 holes), you can’t hide who you are. If you’re nice, pleasant, honest, rude, impatient, or a cheater, it’s going to come out. I’ve heard golfers claim that you play life the way you play golf. A good argument for that analogy’s veracity is Donald Trump. 

Trump cheats at golf. Shocking, right? Sports writer Rick Reilly has written a book, Commander in Cheat, that chronicles the way Trump plays golf and operates as a course owner and operator. Reilly examines the way Trump’s courses resemble mini golf with waterfalls (all that’s missing is shooting the ball into a clown’s mouth, but he owns the course), and despite his claim of having the greatest courses in the world, not one of them is included in the top 150 in America. What’s really intriguing are the multiple details of Trump’s cheating and his lack of respect for the game he loves so much.

Trump was very critical of the time Obama spent playing golf as president. Trump even criticized his golf game. He promised he’d be too busy as president to play golf and that he’d never leave the White House. Of course, he lied. According to the website Trump Golf Count, he’s visited his courses as president 77 times as of March 31 (if you’re a Republican, that was three days ago), at a cost of $95,000,000. Basically, we’re paying for Trump to cheat at golf.

Reilly has documented that of the 18 club championships Trump claims, maybe only two are legitimate. He’s even claimed two championships he didn’t play in, once when he was at a different course. When he’s actually playing in a game, he’s known to cheat. He kicks his ball so often that caddies have given him the nickname “Pelé.”

Trump doesn’t just move his ball, he’ll move his opponents. Once, after his ball had gone into the water, he stole a ball belonging to a teenager. The book also documents that Trump once threw Sportscaster Mike Tirico’s ball into a bunker after it was only ten feet from the hole. Trump claims a 2.8 handicap, but everyone Reilly speaks to says it’s more like a 7 or an 8.

He disrespects the game other ways too. He always tees off first, even if he didn’t win the last hole. He drives his carts on the green. He also drives his cart down the fairway before the other golfers have hit their drives.

Trump is like a child who has to have the biggest piece of cake. He always has to win, even if he didn’t. After cheating, which is always obvious to those he played with, he brags to them about winning, being oblivious to the fact they know. You don’t hit the ball seven times then tell Tiger Woods you’re playing for a birdie. Tiger knows.

Just like golf, Trump cheats at life. He steals from charities. He cheats on his taxes. He cheats contractors. He cheats lenders. He cheats on his wives. He cheated by stealing a Supreme Court seat, then cheated by having the rules of confirmation changed. And of course, he cheated when he stole an election with the help of Russia. Just like in golf, he thinks if he lies about it then nobody will notice.

It’s also cheating when he betrays our trust. We were aware that Trump gave high-level security clearances to Ivanka and Jared after they were rejected, but now we have learned he’s done it for others at least 25 times. Trump has the authority to grant security clearances to whoever he wants to receive them, but when we elect people, we expect them to use their powers responsibly. No rational person has ever expected Donald Trump to act responsibly, but his handing out security clearances like candy is a threat to national security. For the love of god, Jared has been communicating with the Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia through WhatsApp. Trump’s cheating is a danger to the nation.

People who play golf with Trump or work at his clubs enable him by nodding along when he boasts about his prowess as a golfer, all while they know he’s cheating and lying. At least in their cases, he’s either paying them or buying their lunch. His supporters also enable his lies by continuing to support and defend him, which doesn’t make any sense at all. Trump’s not buying their lunch.

Discovering that Trump cheats at everything is about as surprising as learning he’s a vile, ugly, horrible person without any regard for anything that’s not named Trump. Reilly says he wrote his book on Trump’s cheating, not from being offended as a voter but as a golfer. Personally, when it comes to Trump, I’m offended as a human being.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
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Princess Complicit


cjones03012018

Designing second-rate handbags made in third-world countries by eight-year-old children does not make you qualified to discuss diplomatic strategy with the president of South Korea. Inheriting wealth and building a career of creating havens for money launderers does not make you qualified to negotiate peace in the Middle East. Being a trust-fund baby does not qualify you to have access to classified information.

Being related to Donald Trump does not make you qualified for government service or a job in the White House. Being Donald Trump doesn’t make you qualified to be in the White House. If anything, being Donald Trump, or anyone related to him, makes you uniquely unqualified to be anywhere near the White House. You shouldn’t even be allowed on the White House tour.

Despite all that, Ivanka Trump and her squeaky-voiced husband are senior advisers to the president of the United States. During an interview while in South Korea leading the American delegation during the closing ceremonies of the Olympics, Ivanka stated that she and Jared did not want any special treatment in their roles working for the president. I didn’t realize everyone in the Trump White House was able to leave work multiple times a year for vacations in Aspen and the Bahamas.

The FBI has been unable to clear Ivanka or Jared for a permanent security clearance. Chief of Staff John Kelly declared last Friday the deadline for obtaining a permanent clearance to continue to have access to classified information. Last Friday was last Friday. It’s behind us. Jared and Ivanka, who don’t want special treatment, are still in the White House with access to classified information.

Not only that, Ivanka, along with Jared, is in the White House using a private email account for government business. Maybe someone should start a lock-her-up chant.

Ivanka wanted to go to Washington and play government by representing women issues. Yet, each time she’s confronted with the fact that Daddy Bone-Spurs has grabbed more women than cheeseburgers, Princess Complicit has been silent, until now.

During an interview with NBC, which will probably be the last time she ever does an interview with a news outlet other than Fox News, she was asked, “do you believe your father’s accusers?”

Complicit Barbie expressed feigned indignation and said, “I think it’s a pretty inappropriate question to ask a daughter if she believes the accusers of her father when he’s affirmatively stated there’s no truth to it.”

That’s when the interviewer should have rephrased the question and asked, “do you believe your boss’ accusers?”

If someone had asked Tiffany Trump that question then the answer would have been totally acceptable. Tiffany is merely her father’s daughter. Ivanka, on the other hand, is not. Ivanka is a senior White House adviser who has stated she doesn’t want special treatment. So, since she’s to be treated like everyone else working for the president, she should be able to answer a simple question.

She should answer why she finds Roy Moore’s accusers believable, but not the more than a dozen who claim her father sexually assaulted them. She should be asked about her father’s lawyer gifting a porn star $130,000. She should be forced to answer about her father and Playboy Playmates. She should state whether she believes her father’s own words about grabbing vaginas and walking in on teenage girls while they’re undressed.

Nepotism laws were made to prevent people like Ivanka and Jared from working in the government. Donald Trump hasn’t had any problem filling government positions with a variety of incompetent, greedy, useless, and horrible people without dipping into his gene pool, or those who married into it. Ivanka and Jared should return to New York and go back into the handbag and money laundering businesses.

There’s a rule in politics that you leave the children alone. There isn’t a rule that White House advisers are untouchable. Ivanka needs to decide if she wants to be her father’s daughter or a servant of the United States government.

It’s a hard choice because she’s doing a crappy job at both.

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I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude

A Blart On The Background


cjones02152018

During the presidential campaign, and repeated as a deflection from Trump corruption ever since, Republicans argued that Hillary Clinton wasn’t fit to be president because she potentially exposed classified information on her email server. This week, the what-about-her-emails crowd has more complaints about the Obama portraits than the lackadaisical attitude Donald Trump has toward classified information.

We knew for a while that Jared Kushner, Trump’s son-in-law and unqualified to do any job in the White House, has yet to be cleared for a security clearance. What was revealed from the Rob Porter scandal, other than Trump and John Kelly don’t take domestic violence seriously, is that there are many people working in the White House without a “permanent” security clearance.

First, there isn’t an actual permanent clearance. Every individual is subject to continuous evaluation and some clearances expire depending on the level. The FBI conducts the background checks. For secret and top-secret clearances, the White House has its own Office of Security that makes the decision on who gets clearance. For access to what is called Sensitive Compartmented Information (SCI), which is the highest level of classified information, that is done by one or more of the intelligence agencies, and usually, it’s the CIA with the White House. The White House Office of Security is run by career staff and not by political appointees. Jared has access to the highest level of classified info.

Sometimes, a clearance isn’t given because the FBI is having trouble finding information, and they believe there are holes, or they’re finding a lot of sketchy and questionable stuff, like wife-beating or in Jared’s case, lying on his forms.

How does a White House staffer keep his job with access to classified information without a clean report from the FBI? The Office of Security may grant temporary clearance, as they’re probably doing in the over 40 cases in the White House right now, or the president can use his Constitutional authority to order them to grant clearance (and we don’t know if that’s happened), or the White House may just ignore it altogether. That’s what’s happening in this case, and after it’s exposed, they lie and blame the FBI.

Tuesday, FBI director Christopher Wray told Congress that the FBI completed Rob Porter’s background investigation last July and closed it in January. As we know, Porter continued to work in the White House. Sarah Huckabee Sanders had claimed that they first learned of the accusations against Porter last week and that White House Counsel Don McGahn and Chief of Staff John Kelly were not informed previously. She also said that “the White House had not received any specific papers regarding the completion of that background check” by the time of Porter’s resignation. She said the White House Security Office felt the FBI’s report required more field investigation, though the FBI had closed its background check on Porter. Sanders was caught lying. I’m not sure she’s aware of that yet.

Trump promised us he’d hire the best people. He hasn’t even hired a Spokesgoon smart enough to know that you don’t lie about the FBI the day the FBI Director is testifying in front of Congress.

Trump also defended Porter and said he, and every man accused of beating a woman, deserves “due process.” I think a year-long background investigation by the FBI, who then reports that the guy is a wife beater, can be considered due process.

Trump campaigned arguing that we couldn’t trust our nation’s secrets with Hillary Clinton. After he won the election, the Obama administration was concerned about how much to tell Trump and his transition team because our intelligence sources knew there were Russian moles in the Trump campaign.

Obama warned Trump not to hire Michael Flynn. Trump hired Michael Flynn. Obama’s National Security Adviser, Susan Rice, had to find a way to work around providing information to her successor while knowing he was corrupted by the Russians.

After he became president, Trump invited the Russian ambassador, foreign minister, and their camera team into the Oval Office because Putin told him to. During that visit, Trump revealed classified information to them that was provided by an ally.

Then, Trump released the Nunes FISA memo over the objections of the Justice Department and the FBI.

Finally, Trump has unverified people working with classified information in the White House. Some of these people are susceptible to blackmail.

Congress needs a hearing to find out why so many people are working in the White House without clearances, who they are, and what level of classified information they have been granted access to. The Bush and Obama administrations didn’t suffer from these scandals, but then again, they didn’t staff their administrations with a bunch of wife-beaters and loan sharks.

The problem starts at the top. Donald Trump doesn’t hire the best people. In fact, he hires the worst people. The fact is we elected a guy who couldn’t pass the FBI background check.

The real problem is we elected the worst person.

Today’s video.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude