Secretary of State

Secretary Spanky


Mary Louise Kelly, the reporter for National Public Radio who Secretary of State Mike Pompeo is currently having a temper tantrum over, wrote a column for The New York Times that explains how she’s bothered by something more than our nation’s top diplomat calling her a liar.

Kelly wrote, “Journalists don’t sit down with senior government officials in the service of scoring political points. We do it in the service of asking tough questions, on behalf of our fellow citizens. And then sharing the answers — or lack thereof — with the world.”

It was the lack thereof she got from our Secretary of State.

When asked how we would prevent Iran from obtaining a nuclear weapon, Pompeo’s answer was, “We’ll stop them.” In case you’re a Republican, that’s not an answer to her question. But what really ticked Pompeo off were her questions regarding Ukraine and the State Department’s treatment of our former ambassador to that nation, Marie Yovanovitch.

In case you’re just tuning in (you know, if you’re a Republican), Donald Trump sent his goon, Rudy Giuliani, who engaged his own goons into a campaign to discredit and destroy Yovanovitch. We’ve learned since that the goons may have even stalked Yovanovitch and put her life in danger. Pompeo, the man responsible for the safety of our ambassadors, did nothing.

For over a year, Trump’s goons went after Yovanovitch. When asked if he owed her an apology, Pompeo replied to Kelly that he’s defended all our ambassadors. Again, not answering her question. And that’s ultimately what pissed Pompeo, who is now officially a Trump goon, off.

Pompeo told Kelly that “nobody in America cares about Ukraine” and then challenged her to find that nation on an unmarked map. She did. He screamed and cursed at her, which she reported. While not denying her account, he went public with a snowflake tirade that she lied to him, twice, and that their exchange was to be off the record and she promised to only ask questions about Iran. Kelly released emails she exchanged with Pompeo’s staff which don’t just back her up but prove Pompeo is a liar.

It shouldn’t be a surprise that Pompeo is a liar because he works for Donald Trump. It also shouldn’t be a surprise that he’s bullying women (a journalist and an ambassador) and demonstrating just how thin-skinned he is by banning NPR from his plane on an upcoming trip to Ukraine. And it also shouldn’t be a surprise that Donald Trump praised Pompeo for the “job” he did on her.

Donald Trump, who was caught on a recording to “take her out” in regards to Yovanovitch and who told the president of Ukraine that “things were going to happen to her,” compliment Pompeo for his riff with the NPR reporter.

During a photo-op with another corrupt leader, Benjamin Netanyahu, Trump said to Pompeo, “That’s impressive. That was very impressive. That reporter couldn’t have done too good a job on you yesterday. I think you did a good job on her, actually.” Naturally, Trump is ignoring the fact Pompeo was caught lying and was internationally embarrassed. But you know how it is with Trump’s minions. They’re only performing for an audience of one. All that matters to them is that a mean girl asked mean questions. Does anyone need a hug?

Freedom of the press is guaranteed in our Constitution. It’s so important, it comes before that right to own guns thing. Our president and secretary of state should be championing all of our freedoms, not just the selective ones that appeal to their racist fucknut base. As it turns out, Kelly has more trouble with our top diplomat than she did with Iran’s who she also interviewed just a few days before.

Instead of championing that freedom, our State Department is telling the world they’ll shut up journalists who challenge them. We’ll shut them up by banning them from coverage. We’ll shut them up by defunding NPR. Nations like Turkey, who imprisons journalists, and Saudi Arabia, who murders journalists, is paying attention.

Cruelty and being vile to people is what Trump and his supporters consider humorous in this era. The entire room, except for the press who were present, laughed at Trump’s comments and praise for Pompeo’s bullying. I don’t see the humor in it. Where was the punchline?

Everyone in that room, including Trump and Pompeo should read Kelly’s column today. They should especially take note of this passage: “There is a reason that freedom of the press is enshrined in the Constitution. There is a reason it matters that people in positions of power — people charged with steering the foreign policy of entire nations — be held to account. The stakes are too high for their impulses and decisions not to be examined in as thoughtful and rigorous an interview as is possible.”

They should read it twice. Three times if they have to. Trump and Pompeo could read it a hundred times and still not understand that they are to be held accountable.

Donald Trump’s He-Man Women Hater Club may not like it, but girls are allowed to ask them questions.

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New Book: Tales From The Trumpster Fire

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Donald Trump is famous for firing people. He created a reality show centered around firing people, and before “no collusion,” his most famous catch phrase was “you’re fired.”

Reality shows are not actual reality. Donald Trump brags about not being afraid of the National Rifle Association, but the truth is he’s a “sniveling coward,” which is what the sniveling Ted Cruz called him during the primaries. Trump made sure James Comey was on the opposite side of the country when he fired him. He informed Chris Christie through a phone call he was being kicked off the transition team. On Tuesday, Donald Trump fired his Secretary of State through Twitter.

Rex Tillerson, Trump’s latest dumpee, does not have a Twitter account. He’s not much for communicating, rarely talked to the press, and limited the department’s press conferences. An aide had to print out Trump’s tweet to give it to Tillerson. That makes sense because you want to see it in print before you make any global-altering decisions, like accepting a meeting with Kim Jong Un over word-of-mouth that he’s going to stop making nukes. Another aide was fired after disputing the White House’s terms of Tillerson’s firing.

Tillerson was on his way back from Africa, which he had to visit to repair relations after Trump’s “shithole nations” comment. They fired Tillerson after he was done cleaning up a pile of shit Trump created.

I’m actually surprised they didn’t use the Milton firing procedure. That’s where you just stop paying a guy and hope he gets the hint and eventually stops coming to work. Moving his desk to the storage room and taking his favorite stapler will also encourage him to leave, or burn the building down. You take your chances.

We expected Tillerson to leave soon after he was hired. But, you don’t have to be a fan of Tillerson to be concerned with the way he was axed. Leave it to Andy Borowitz to sum up the truth in satire. His headline reads, “Nation marvels at Trump’s ability to turn ExxonMobil executive into sympathetic figure.”

I was never enthused by Trump’s choice of Tillerson to be the nation’s number one diplomat. The first reason to be concerned is that he’s willing to work for Donald Trump. That’s got sketchy written all over it.

Tillerson had zero governmental experience and had never worked with foreign policy except on business matters. He’s really good at negotiating billion-dollar deals with dictators that strip resources from a nation’s citizens while destroying their environment. Another concern was that Putin liked him. Putin liked him so much he gave him a medal.

It was reported last week that Putin informed Trump through a back channel that he wouldn’t approve of the appointment of Mitt Romney to State. People have asked, “why would the Trump team need a back channel to Russia if they’re going to lead the government, which has a channel to Russia?” That’s why. So Trump can receive Putin’s orders without our intelligence network being all nosy about it. Thankfully, we still have a Republican Party who will fight to protect Russian spies from our law enforcement.

Tillerson had a difficult time working for Trump. Tillerson disagreed with Trump’s desire to nix the Iran deal. Tillerson is right. Try making a treaty with North Korea after breaking your word to Iran. It’s bad enough every word out of Trump’s mouth is a lie, but breaking official treaties on your nation’s behalf tells everyone you can’t be trusted. Also, can you fire a treaty over the phone?

Tillerson also called Trump a “fucking moron.” Now, we all call Trump a fucking moron, but we don’t work for Trump. Tillerson never denied making the insult and instead explained that he didn’t want to engage in Washington games. Try that excuse with your boss after he hears you called him a moron and see if you keep your job.

Or worse yet, tell your boss you support defending our allies from Russian nerve gas attacks. Oh, wait. Your boss probably isn’t a treasonous Russia troll deep in debt to Russian mobsters and selling out his nation for his own self-serving interests. I’ll work on my analogies.

Trump says he’s just now creating a cabinet of truly loyal sycophants, and they will all express his thinking, beliefs, and agenda for our nation. See? And you thought it couldn’t get any worse after the first year. You need to stop being so cynical.

Trump is appointing CIA Director Mike Pompeo to replace Tillerson. Pompeo is a hardliner who hates the Iran deal and has talked openly of assassinating Kim Jong Un. The person who will replace Pompeo at the CIA is Gina Haspel, who will be the first female to lead that department after being the first woman to run a torture program. I don’t know if that’s true. She may not be the first woman who has run a torture program. Maybe just the first woman to run a torture program and then destroy evidence of its work. Anyway, yay breaking that glass ceiling.

If you didn’t like Tillerson running the State Department, that’s totally understandable. I didn’t either. But, he was doing better at his job than Ben Carson or Betsy DeVos, and they’re still around. But then again, they haven’t criticized Russia. Ben has been asleep since his confirmation and Betsy can’t find it on a map.

We can expect foreign policy adviser H.R. McMaster to leave soon. Secretary of Defense James Mattis may leave soon, as Tiller was described as a speed bump between him and Trump, although Tillerson moves a bit slower and is less communicative than an actual speed bump. At any rate, I don’t expect a decrease of revolving door cartoons from my colleagues.

Trump has a turnover rate of 43%, which is much higher than Bush or Obama’s in the same time span of their presidencies. I’d ask Secretary of Education, Betsy Devos to add it up, but she thinks her 60 minutes interview was the longest four hours of her life.

I have a better idea. Let’s just fire Trump.

Here’s the video.

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