Rex Tillerson

Another Trump Sucker


Trump’s former ambassador to the United Nations, Nikki Haley, has a new book out, called “With All Due Respect,” of which she can be proud that it doesn’t kiss as much Trump ass as Don Jr’s book, “Triggered.” But just barely.

What’s up with all these people putting Trump books out at the same time? Sheesh, people. Give it a rest (an inside joke which you’ll be in on by Thursday).

Nikki was thought of as a Republican with principles, back when there were at least more than two of them in the nation. As governor of South Carolina, she removed the Confederate flag from the statehouse after a racist killed nine people at a black church in Charleston. During the 2016 presidential primaries, she didn’t just endorse Marco Rubio because she believed he was the best candidate. She endorsed him while strongly speaking out against Donald Trump. She said, “During anxious times, it can be tempting to follow the siren call of the angriest voices. We must resist that temptation.” She failed in her resistance.

By the time the Republican National Convention rolled around, she was on the Trump train. After Trump was elected, she resigned as governor to be ambassador to the United Nations. For a governor, padding foreign policy onto your resume is very valuable. But how valuable is it when you served as an ambassador of a body that openly laughed at Donald Trump? The United Nations doesn’t respect Donald Trump, and he doesn’t respect it either. Trump believes there’s a member nation named Nambia, but even if it did exist, they wouldn’t have much respect for him either. It does sound like a “shithole” country.

In Nikki’s book, she claims she’s the only member of the Trump administration to tell him to his face that his press conference with Russia’s president didn’t go off very well. She claims that afterward, he got much stronger against Russia. She must be thinking of the time he advocated for Russia rejoining the European Union or that other time when he repeated Putin’s argument that the Soviet Union had the right to invade Afghanistan because of terrorism. Or maybe she was thinking of just last week when Trump said he really wanted to go to Russia and watch their May Day parade.

One of the biggest takeaways from the book is her claim that the secretary of state, Rex Tillerson and the chief-of-staff, John Kelly (neither of whom are still with the administration) attempted to recruit her to join their mini resistance. As I pointed out already, Nikki doesn’t do resistance well.

Haley writes, “Kelly and Tillerson confided in me that when they resisted the president, they weren’t being insubordinate, they were trying to save the country. Tillerson went on to tell me the reason he resisted the president’s decisions was because, if he didn’t, people would die.”

During an interview with Norah O’Donnell of CBS News that aired Sunday, she said, “Instead of saying that to me, they should have been saying that to the president (sic), not asking me to join them on their sidebar plan. It should have been, go tell the president (sic) what your differences are and quit if you don’t like what he’s doing. But to undermine a president (sic) is really a very dangerous thing, and it goes against the Constitution and it goes against what the American people want. And it was offensive.”

I don’t know if it goes against the Constitution to not enforce a directive of the president, or to wait him out until he forgets it (as others have claimed to do), or to try to change his mind. But do you know what is in the Constitution, Nikki? Bribery. Bribery, as in the president should be impeached if he commits it.

Donald Trump’s attempt to bribe a foreign leader with U.S. military aid to help his reelection campaign is probably just one example of Trump fuckery so dangerous and stupid, that members of his staff were subverting his efforts. Take a look at his phone call with Ukraine’s president. Somebody thought it was so bad that it needed to be hidden away inside its own special server.

Tillerson is disputing Haley’s account, but last December, he said, “The president (sic) would say, ‘Here’s what I want to do and here’s how I want to do it.’ And I would have to say to him, ‘Mr. President (sic), I understand what you want to do, but you can’t do it that way. It violates the law.'” Tillerson probably discovered that it went beyond Trump not knowing the law, but to the extent he doesn’t care.

In Bob Woodward’s book, “Fear,” Gary Cohn, the administration’s top economic adviser, removed letters from Trump’s desk removing the U.S. out of NAFTA and a trade agreement with South Korea. In the same book, there’s a revelation that James Mattis, then the defense secretary, ignored Trump’s orders to assassinate Syria’s Bashar al-Assad.

According to Haley, each of those instances of insubordination was unconstitutional.

In the New York Times Op-Ed by Anonymous, who claims to be a senior aide in Trump’s White House, he or she claims “many Trump appointees have vowed to do what we can to preserve our democratic institutions while thwarting Mr. (sic) Trump’s more misguided impulses until he is out of office.”

Haley is trying to present herself as being bold and independent enough to stand up to Donald Trump while still appeasing his supporters by kissing his ass. She can’t have it both ways. While she may be dreaming of replacing Mike Pence on the 2020 ticket (it could happen) and becoming a future Republican president, she’s not an example of courage within this administration.

If you want to see courage, look no further than those testifying this week against the administration. If you want examples of asskissers, toadies, suckups, lackeys, sycophants, grovelers, fawners, bootlickers, apple polishers, and ball washers, there are plenty to choose from in Washington (Lindsey Graham, Jeff Sessions, Mike Pence, etc), but today, let’s look at Nikki Haley.

Someday, all these asskissers will have to defend their time as sycophants. Haley will be doing so while also trying to explain her experience with Trump’s failed foreign policy where all roads led to Russia.

With “all due respect,” Nikki, you’re just another sycophant who put cult worship over country.

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Donald Trump is famous for firing people. He created a reality show centered around firing people, and before “no collusion,” his most famous catch phrase was “you’re fired.”

Reality shows are not actual reality. Donald Trump brags about not being afraid of the National Rifle Association, but the truth is he’s a “sniveling coward,” which is what the sniveling Ted Cruz called him during the primaries. Trump made sure James Comey was on the opposite side of the country when he fired him. He informed Chris Christie through a phone call he was being kicked off the transition team. On Tuesday, Donald Trump fired his Secretary of State through Twitter.

Rex Tillerson, Trump’s latest dumpee, does not have a Twitter account. He’s not much for communicating, rarely talked to the press, and limited the department’s press conferences. An aide had to print out Trump’s tweet to give it to Tillerson. That makes sense because you want to see it in print before you make any global-altering decisions, like accepting a meeting with Kim Jong Un over word-of-mouth that he’s going to stop making nukes. Another aide was fired after disputing the White House’s terms of Tillerson’s firing.

Tillerson was on his way back from Africa, which he had to visit to repair relations after Trump’s “shithole nations” comment. They fired Tillerson after he was done cleaning up a pile of shit Trump created.

I’m actually surprised they didn’t use the Milton firing procedure. That’s where you just stop paying a guy and hope he gets the hint and eventually stops coming to work. Moving his desk to the storage room and taking his favorite stapler will also encourage him to leave, or burn the building down. You take your chances.

We expected Tillerson to leave soon after he was hired. But, you don’t have to be a fan of Tillerson to be concerned with the way he was axed. Leave it to Andy Borowitz to sum up the truth in satire. His headline reads, “Nation marvels at Trump’s ability to turn ExxonMobil executive into sympathetic figure.”

I was never enthused by Trump’s choice of Tillerson to be the nation’s number one diplomat. The first reason to be concerned is that he’s willing to work for Donald Trump. That’s got sketchy written all over it.

Tillerson had zero governmental experience and had never worked with foreign policy except on business matters. He’s really good at negotiating billion-dollar deals with dictators that strip resources from a nation’s citizens while destroying their environment. Another concern was that Putin liked him. Putin liked him so much he gave him a medal.

It was reported last week that Putin informed Trump through a back channel that he wouldn’t approve of the appointment of Mitt Romney to State. People have asked, “why would the Trump team need a back channel to Russia if they’re going to lead the government, which has a channel to Russia?” That’s why. So Trump can receive Putin’s orders without our intelligence network being all nosy about it. Thankfully, we still have a Republican Party who will fight to protect Russian spies from our law enforcement.

Tillerson had a difficult time working for Trump. Tillerson disagreed with Trump’s desire to nix the Iran deal. Tillerson is right. Try making a treaty with North Korea after breaking your word to Iran. It’s bad enough every word out of Trump’s mouth is a lie, but breaking official treaties on your nation’s behalf tells everyone you can’t be trusted. Also, can you fire a treaty over the phone?

Tillerson also called Trump a “fucking moron.” Now, we all call Trump a fucking moron, but we don’t work for Trump. Tillerson never denied making the insult and instead explained that he didn’t want to engage in Washington games. Try that excuse with your boss after he hears you called him a moron and see if you keep your job.

Or worse yet, tell your boss you support defending our allies from Russian nerve gas attacks. Oh, wait. Your boss probably isn’t a treasonous Russia troll deep in debt to Russian mobsters and selling out his nation for his own self-serving interests. I’ll work on my analogies.

Trump says he’s just now creating a cabinet of truly loyal sycophants, and they will all express his thinking, beliefs, and agenda for our nation. See? And you thought it couldn’t get any worse after the first year. You need to stop being so cynical.

Trump is appointing CIA Director Mike Pompeo to replace Tillerson. Pompeo is a hardliner who hates the Iran deal and has talked openly of assassinating Kim Jong Un. The person who will replace Pompeo at the CIA is Gina Haspel, who will be the first female to lead that department after being the first woman to run a torture program. I don’t know if that’s true. She may not be the first woman who has run a torture program. Maybe just the first woman to run a torture program and then destroy evidence of its work. Anyway, yay breaking that glass ceiling.

If you didn’t like Tillerson running the State Department, that’s totally understandable. I didn’t either. But, he was doing better at his job than Ben Carson or Betsy DeVos, and they’re still around. But then again, they haven’t criticized Russia. Ben has been asleep since his confirmation and Betsy can’t find it on a map.

We can expect foreign policy adviser H.R. McMaster to leave soon. Secretary of Defense James Mattis may leave soon, as Tiller was described as a speed bump between him and Trump, although Tillerson moves a bit slower and is less communicative than an actual speed bump. At any rate, I don’t expect a decrease of revolving door cartoons from my colleagues.

Trump has a turnover rate of 43%, which is much higher than Bush or Obama’s in the same time span of their presidencies. I’d ask Secretary of Education, Betsy Devos to add it up, but she thinks her 60 minutes interview was the longest four hours of her life.

I have a better idea. Let’s just fire Trump.

Here’s the video.

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Isn’t It Moronic?


“He was a goddamn stupid moron. He hated it when you called him a moron. All morons hate it when you call them a moron.” –Catcher in the Rye

Weekly Standard editor Bill Kristol tweeted that quote yesterday (from a book it took me nearly 50 years to get around to eventually read). It is true. Morons hate being called “morons” (so do Mormons), even when they’re in denial they’re morons. Like dead people don’t know they’re dead, stupid people don’t know they’re stupid.

If Donald Trump was not a moron, he would recognize when he doesn’t know something. As George Will said, Trump “does not know what it is to know.” The man is not curious, and he doesn’t give a shit to learn. Instead, he’ll tell us he has a secret plan to defeat ISIS, and he knows more than the generals. This, from a man who didn’t understand the nuclear triad, that plutonium means nuclear, North Korea and healthcare are both complicated, and Puerto Rico is an island.

Yesterday, NBC News reported that Secretary of State Rex Tillerson referred to the president of the United States of America as a “moron.” Everyone, at some point in their life, has called their boss a moron. Sixty-three million Americans have referred to Donald Trump as a moron. Now it’s sixty-three million and one. Welcome to the club, Rex. Sorry, all the seats are taken as it’s really packed in here.

Donald Trump fell back on his usual complaint about this story calling it “fake news.” That means it’s true. This morning, he tweeted that Congress should be investigating news outlets that make up stories. It’s still disturbing to me that the president wants to shut down the free press, but since Congress hasn’t gone after the president’s favorite publication, The National Enquirer, we’re probably safe.

This is a fine example of what it is “not to know.” It’s over Donald Trump’s head that he’s wailing about “fake news” while promoting conspiracy theories, hanging out with Alex Jones, and telling us that the National Enquirer should have a Pulitzer Prize. Oh yeah, he also watches Fox and has Sean Hannity over for secret dinners.

Another confirmation that Tillerson called Trump a moron is that the secretary gave a statement to the press. Rex Tillerson never makes statements. Andrea Mitchell is nearly hoarse after shouting questions to the guy for the past nine months while he stands there as if his big-ass ears don’t work.

The moron story included a part about Tillerson threatening to resign. Tillerson gave a statement that he has never threatened to resign (though seven sources say he did). When asked about calling Trump a “moron,” Tillerson said, “I’m not going to deal with petty stuff like that.” Why not? Your superior, that guy you called “moron,” totally deals with petty stuff like that. Petty is his modus operandi. This guy makes up nicknames for people.

In fact, “Moron Don” was trending on Twitter yesterday (as “dotard” was last week). Perhaps it bristles Trump even more that “Moron Don” sounds like a nickname he’d throw at someone, contingent that their name was Don.

Rex Tillerson was a poor choice as Secretary of State. The man has zero experience in government work. He, along with Trump, has demoralized the entire State Department. He’s alienated lawmakers, foreign policy veterans, and the news media while watching Trump cut the department’s budget and leave posts unfilled. The plan was to have him as a figurehead while Jared (who doesn’t know how to fill out forms by himself) would take care of foreign policy.

According to aides and Trump associates who have been in the room with them,  Tillerson’s body language, eye rolling and terse expressions are signs of his disagreements with Trump, and Trump is noticing (which is kinda shocking. Trump notice something?). Vice-President Mike Pence was dispatched to instruct Tillerson on how to behave like a sycophant. Personally, I would have told Pence to go eat a booger which would have been followed by a slew of curse words that would have caused trauma to his fragile Christian ears.

According to several people, Tillerson didn’t just call Trump a “moron.” He called him a “fucking moron.” A spokesperson for the State Department said the secretary would never use language like that. Well, Tillerson may not engage in petty stuff or use language like that (he does), but I do. Tillerson might be new at it, but I’m old-school calling Trump a “moron.” Donald Trump is a fucking moron.

In addition to being a “fucking moron,” he’s a dotard, an imbecile, a freaking idiot, a dunce, a cretin, a buffoon, obtuse, an international embarrassment, a bottom-feeding dimwit, halfwit, nitwit, fuckwit, and a knuckle-dragging dumb-ass. If anything, Donald Trump proves that evolution can go in reverse. The man is too stupid to realize how stupid he looks. Seriously. Look at him. Who chooses to go with the Cheeto-with-a-bleached-skunk-on-the-head look?

Get out your scorecards, kids. It’s time to play shit-can bingo. Which member of the Trump administration is next to go? Will it be Jeff Sessions, John Kelly, or Rex Tillerson? I’m going with John Kelly as he looks like the one who hates eating shit the most.

As for Rex, he’s still there after being undercut and undermined by Trump. He’s not as much of a poodle-bitch as Jeff Sessions, but this guy can eat some meatloaf.

What a moron.

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Nyet Nyet. Nyet?


Several weeks ago I had an idea where Trump was asked about his connections to Russia and his response was “nyet.” It wasn’t a good idea and I knew other cartoonists would take similar shots with it. I’ve seen at least three “nyet” cartoons since then. After watching Rex Tillerson’s confirmation hearing it kinda came back to me and I decided to take the obvious idea and put a twist on it.

Rex Tillerson should not be Secretary of State. Marco Rubio has expressed dissatisfaction with the guy’s answers and he may vote against him if he can man up and defy Trump and his supporters. It might be the first good thing Rubio does as a United States senator.

Tillerson is a liar. He claimed he never lobbied against sanctions on Russia. He has. His company has. He’s made phone calls to senators and during his hearing he lied to their face that he had ever done so. He’s also claimed he and Trump haven’t even discussed Russia. If they didn’t talk about Russia then what did they talk about?  Whether they were boob men or butt men? When it comes to wheeling and dealing on a corporation’s behalf and making gobs of money no matter how unethically, Tillerson’s your man. When it comes to diplomacy for a government he’s as clueless as Doctor Dumbass Ben Carson.

Jeff Sessions is not clueless. He may not be a racist either, but he’s exhibited many times in the past that he doesn’t care about race relations, equal rights, or civil rights. He can’t be trusted to pursue the bad guys if the bad guys have oppressed blacks, gays, women, Muslims, Mexicans, basically anyone who is not white. I take it back. He’s racist. He’s also another liar taking credit for desegregation cases he didn’t have anything to do with. He’s also the first senator who supported Trump’s candidacy and that really makes the guy’s judgement and priorities questionable.

Ben Carson shouldn’t be confirmed just because he’s Ben Carson. His only accomplishment during the hearings in that he remained awake through them. He’s already admitted he shouldn’t be running a government agency. On Thursday he couldn’t guarantee Senator Elizabeth Warren that he wouldn’t use the department to put money in the Trump family’s pocket. Watching him in a verbal exchange with Warren was surreal. On one end you have a profound intellectual and on the other…well, Dr. Dumbass. We haven’t seen a disparity like that since the presidential debates.

What really gets me about these nominees is that so many are disagreeing with Trump. They say they consider Russia a threat and they did hack the election. They’re against the wall. They’re against a Muslim ban. They’re against torture. Serious question time: Why the hell do you want to work for Donald Trump?

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Dancing For Putin


On the same day Donald Trump tells America that Russia did not hack into the DNC and corrupt our election he goes and nominates an FOP for Secretary of State. FOP? Friend of Putin.

Before the election Trump asked Russia to hack into the Hillary campaign. Then some entity hacks into the Clinton campaign and gives all the juicy tidbits to Wikileaks. Now he finds it unbelievable that Russia would do such a thing.

Trump won’t take his security briefings because he’s “like a smart person,” but he knows more than the CIA. The president-elect and his supporters won’t believe 17 U.S. intelligence agencies when they say Russia meddled in our election but they’ll believe Muslims in New Jersey celebrated 9/11, Clinton has Alzheimer’s, the Pope endorsed Trump, Clinton had an FBI agent murdered, or that she ran a child-sex ring in a Washington pizza joint. They demand proof with an accusation unless it’s some hogwash they want to believe.

Trump’s Secretary of State nominee is Rex Tillerson, who comes from the private sector. In fact, the only company he’s ever worked for in his entire life is Exxon. So why not put a guy in charge of the State department without any government experience to compliment the president who also doesn’t have any government experience?

Tillerson received the Order Of Friendship award by Putin. He’s known the guy for over 20 years. Trump has also made a dinner companion of Putin’s as his National Security Adviser, Michael Flynn.

Putin wants a pro-Russia administration in the White House. His hope is to end sanctions placed by the U.S. on Russia, which also kept Exxon from doing a lot of business in that nation. He wasn’t going to get any relief from a Clinton presidency. Putin knows it’s easier to manipulate stupid people.

Russia has been meddling in Europe for a while now. They’re now targeting Angela Merkel of Germany, who might be the last obstacle standing in Putin’s way in the West.

He has other obstacles in the United States in the form of the United States Senate. Several Republicans are expressing concern over Tillerson, so it’s not just Democrats unhappy with this nomination. Senators Marco Rubio, Lindsey Graham, and the heaviest hitter on foreign policy in the Senate, John McCain, all have questions they want answered.

Former CIA director Michael Morell said Russia attempting to sway our election is the political equivalent of 9/11. Alabama coach Nick Saban once said the same thing when his team lost to the University of Louisiana at Monroe, but I don’t think Mr. Morell is making a hyperbole out of the situation. This is actually dangerous for our nation.

When the electors meet next week to cast their vote for the next president of the United States of America they need to keep in mind that Donald Trump may be the worst disaster to ever strike our nation.

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