red states

Blue State, Red State, Corrupt State


cjones05242020

A couple days ago, I wrote Donald Trump and his administration of goons aren’t even trying to hide his corruption anymore. In firing Inspectors General in the midst of investigations, they don’t even give good reasons. Donald Trump said he fired the guy investigating his Secretary of State Mike Pompeo because he lost the guy’s confidence. Pompeo only defended it by saying he should have been fired long ago and that he didn’t know he was under investigation. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. When it’s the fifth IG fired in five weeks, yeah.

That’s some morbidly obese bullshit.

Now, Donald Trump is threatening to stop all federal funding being sent to states that may not vote for him. That’s not exactly what he said but he’s doing a terrible job of hiding his corrupt intentions.

Michigan and Nevada are upping their plans for mail-in voting in order to decrease the risk of exposing their voters’ lives to the coronavirus. Well, Donald Trump doesn’t give a lick about anyone’s safety and like all Republicans, he realizes the more voters who participate in an election, the worst Republicans fare. The majority of people in this nation vote for Democrats. That’s a fact. Republicans don’t like that fact so they work to prevent people from voting except for the most racist and whitest of us.

Donald Trump tweeted his outrage at Michigan for mailing ballots to all their voters. Dumbass tweeted, “This was done illegally and without authorization by a rogue Secretary of State. I will ask to hold up funding to Michigan if they want to go down this Voter Fraud path!”

Except, that was some morbidly obese lying. Michigan’s Secretary of State mailed “applications” to voters, not ballots. Donald Trump claims what Michigan did is illegal. It’s not. So, two lies in one tweet. Good job, Donald. While explaining this to the press, he dropped another lie in that he was once Man of the Year in Michigan. He was never Man of the Year in Michigan. Maybe he’s confused because he resembles the Michelin Man.

What Donald Trump is doing is threatening to hold a state hostage by denying federal funding…during a pandemic. It’s kinda like holding Ukraine hostage by denying military aid during a war.

He went after Nevada in another tweet saying, “State of Nevada ‘thinks’ that they can send out illegal vote by mail ballots, creating a great Voter Fraud scenario for the State and the U.S. They can’t! If they do, ‘I think’ I can hold up funds to the State. Sorry, but you must not cheat in elections.”

The man who solicited election help from Russia and Ukraine is concerned about cheating in elections.

Trump is very upset over mail-in voting and keeps screaming about voter fraud, even though there isn’t any evidence to support it.

Trump told reporters, “I think just common sense would tell you that massive manipulation can take place. And you do have cases of fraudulent ballots where they actually print them and they give them to people to sign, maybe the same person signs them with different writing, different pens. I don’t know. It’s a lot of things can happen.”

Where, when, what? Where have there been “fraudulent” ballots that were “actually printed” then “given to people to sign?” This guy also claimed once that you need an I.D. to purchase cereal.

Donald Trump himself actually voted by mail, sending his ballot to Florida. Maybe he cheated so that’s how he knows it happens. His argument is that he’s “allowed to do it.” His spokesgoon, Kayleigh McEnany, defended his voting my mail by arguing how tough it was for him to leave the White House and go to Florida. I know she’s new on the job but you think she’d have noticed that Donald Trump, before the pandemic, was in Florida playing golf and bilking the government for it every other weekend since he became president (sic). Somebody, please give her the Cliff Notes.

Funny thing, Republican officeholders in at least 16 states that do not have all-mail elections have encouraged people to vote absentee during the coronavirus pandemic. You haven’t heard Donald Trump go after them yet. But maybe he should.

Donald Trump won Michigan, barely, in 2016. He’s going to lose it in 2020 and he knows it. But, he’s also trailing Joe Biden in other states he won, like Pennsylvania, Ohio, Arizona, Georgia, and his brand new home state, Florida. And you’re going to love this, but he’s only leading Biden by one point in….wait for it….TEXAS!!!! Yeehaw!

Even if Donald Trump doesn’t lose states like Georgia, Florida, Arizona, North Carolina, and Texas, his campaign will have to do some morbidly obese spending in those states.

This is some morbidly obese corruption and they’re not even trying to hide it. The good news is, Trump probably can’t withhold spending to those states, but I’m sure conservative courts and the Republican Senate will do all they can to help him.

Donald Trump doesn’t care about free and fair elections any more than he cares about the health of Americans during a global pandemic. His only focus with both is on himself. Donald Trump solicited help during the 2016 election from Russia and he got it. He even invited Russians into his campaign HQ. He placed suspected Russian spies on his campaign staff, then cried that the government was watching the suspected spies. Now, he’s doing it again, asking foreign governments to meddle in the 2020 election.

A president should want every American eligible to vote casting votes, even those who won’t vote for him. But Donald Trump and Republicans work to gerrymander and suppress. The people who cry that their rights are being robbed because they have to wear a mask don’t give a flying fig about non-white Americans being denied their right to vote. Cry me a morbidly obese river.

Donald Trump is corrupt and Donald Trump lies. At last count, which was in April, Donald Trump had told over 18,000 lies since he became president (sic). That’s a morbidly obese number.

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Damn Yankees


cjones05012020

Mitch McConnell would rather states go bankrupt than receive federal money for bailouts during the coronavirus pandemic. Specifically, he’d rather blue states go bankrupt.

New York Governor Andrew Cuomo who’s been schooling Republicans throughout this crisis and has been demonstrating real leadership while Donald Trump’s been more focused on his hurt feelings, said “This is really one of the dumb ideas of all time,” while explaining bankrupted states would devastate the economy for the entire nation. Of course, McConnell doesn’t get that because he’s a Republican, and Republicans don’t do well with the economy. There was the Ronald Reagan recession, the George H.W. Bush recession, the George W. Bush recession, and now we have the Donald Trump recession. Republicans create recessions and even depressions (Hoover) and Democrats (Roosevelt) pull us out of them.

Larry Hogan, a Republican governor, said about McConnell’s stupid and selfish policy, “Mitch McConnell probably regrets saying that. If he doesn’t regret it yet, I think he will regret it. . . . The last thing we need in the middle of an economic crisis is to have states all filing bankruptcy all across America and not able to provide services to people who desperately need them.”

McConnell doesn’t regret it. He doubled-down and said, “There’s not going to be any desire on the Republican side to bail out state pensions by borrowing money from future generations.” McConnell is a hypocrite. While there’s no desire on the Republican side to bail out states and American citizens, there’s plenty of “desire” to give billionaires and corporations tax cuts and bailouts that borrow from future generations. I’ve never heard McConnell complain about borrowing from future generations to finance the $133 million spent on Donald Trump’s golf trips.

Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer tweeted, “Republican Senators: Raise your hand if you think your state should go bankrupt.” In a year heavy with more Republican Senate seats being contested than Democratic seats, yeah…go campaign on your state going bankrupt. Please, please, please. Mitch McConnell is up for reelection this year. I’d like to see him tell Kentucky they should go bankrupt. In fact, I “desire” to see him run that campaign. But, McConnell isn’t going to run on his own stupid ideas any more than Donald Trump’s going to start drinking Clorox.

McConnell’s office put out a document supporting his policy titled, “Stopping Blue State Bailouts.” Governor Andrew Cuomo took issue with that.

Governor Cuomo said allowing states to go bankrupt would be “irresponsible and reckless.” He also said, “This is not the time or the place or the situation to start your divisive politics. It’s not red and blue. It’s red, white and blue.” Then he pointed out something that will forever go over all Republicans’ heads.

Kentucky, McConnell’s state, receives more federal dollars for services than its taxpayers contribute, while New York pays out more than it receives. Cuomo said, “It’s your state that is living on the money that we generate. Your state is getting bailed out. Not my state.”

Boom! Bam! Mic drop, baby! Kentucky is sucking on New York’s teat. Maybe that’s why their grass is so darn blue.

New Jersey Democratic Governor Phil Murphy said, “Encouraging, explicitly almost hoping for bankruptcies of American states in the midst of the biggest health-care crisis this country has ever faced, is completely and utterly irresponsible.”

And then, Peter King, a Republican Congressman from New York stated, “To say that it is ‘free money’ to provide funds for cops, firefighters and healthcare workers makes McConnell the Marie Antoinette of the Senate.”

McConnell said blue states are seeking free money after mismanaging their finances. Donald Trump tweeted something similar yesterday.

Trump tweeted, “Why should the people and taxpayers of America be bailing out poorly run states (like Illinois, as example) and cities, in all cases Democrat run and managed, when most of the other states are not looking for bailout help? I am open to discussing anything, but just asking?”

Let’s address that, shall we?

First off, this is some divisive shit from the guy who accused Democrats of playing politics. It’s another distraction during a pandemic to make us hate each other.

Secondly, The states with the poorest finances, and largest debts, are Republican-run states. The states with the biggest welfare rolls are Republican-run states. The states that receive more from the federal government than they put in (like Kentucky) are…wait for it…Republican-run states.

While Donald Trump, who received bailout after bailout from his daddy while bankrupting businesses in an industry where customers budget how much money they’re going to lose to you, and Mitch McConnell don’t believe that American citizens in blue states should be bailed out. But, poorly-run companies like those in the airline industry that uses all their profits on stock buybacks should be bailed out. Shake Shack, Ruth’s Chris Steak House, Potbelly Sandwich, and even the Los Angeles Lakers can get bailouts, but a blue state hit hardest by the virus shouldn’t. And states being hit harder by the virus doesn’t have anything to do with how they’re managed. There is more density in urban areas like New York, Chicago, and Detroit (in case you’re a Republican, “density” means the number of people in an area or space…not a term for how dense Trump supporters are).

Why should any state be better prepared for a virus “that came out of nowhere” than the Trump administration? Also, keep in mind these states are asking for help during a pandemic made worse by Donald Trump’s ignorance, stupidity, and total and utter failure as a president and human being.

And while Donald Trump doesn’t believe the U.S. government should spend U.S. taxpayers money on U.S. states, he’s all about the Euro being spent on his companies. Donald Trump’s resorts (U.S. companies, by the way) in Europe are seeking…wait for it…bailouts. Is the Trump Organization poorly managed? Well, it was managed by Donald Trump (who’s doing such a swell job of managing the United States. Another example of sarcasm), and is today managed by idiot-son-number-one, Donald Jr and idiot-son-number-two, Eric.

I highly discourage the United Kingdom and the European Union from providing bailouts to poorly-run, grifting corporations.

Creative note: I had to go back and repair a lot of the text in this cartoon. And not for the reasons you’d think. I just kept leaving out a small word here, a longer word there, putting two Ks in “Yankees” and changing “dang” from “danged.” Now, for the rest of the day, all the voices in my head will have southern accents.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.