President Elect Biden

Say That Title


cjones12182020

One funny trait of MAGAts is that in their rush to prove who can be the most vile, they often come off as being the most stupid and most ridiculous.

Republicans have a problem with women, especially intelligent women. Trust me, guys. Life will be easier if you accept the fact that women tend to be smarter than we are. Just deal with it. A woman brought you into this world. You were raised by a woman. You were probably raised by multiple women. Yet, you have this fear of them and I don’t know what it is. Are you afraid they’re smarter than you? I think that’s a good thing. Personally, I don’t think a woman’s intelligence, success, education, or accomplishments diminishes me. For me, it’s an accomplishment and success to be with her.

There are huge benefits being with someone smarter than you are. For example: I had my ex-girlfriend, who is highly educated, put together my drawing table. I wasn’t going to be able to figure that shit out. During Christmas, she had me put together some sort of Barbie castle thing with a slide for her daughter which had all sorts of spinning and moveable parts (I think she was testing me)…and let’s just say there’s a lot of super glue in that thing where none is supposed to be (and probably some hair and pieces of my skin). Putting that thing together was a total nightmare. After we broke up last December (not because of the dream castle), I bought a kitchen table and chairs, and those chairs are still unassembled on top of the table. There’s nothing wrong with eating while standing over the sink.

Conservative dudes are not very intelligent, but it’s cute they think they are. Yeah, I said it. And they’re especially afraid of smart women in politics. Over the past two years after her party retook the House, they watched Nancy Pelosi own Donald Trump in negotiations. Remember, they claim Trump is a great negotiator and that Speaker Pelosi is beneath him…yet, she has Trump’s number. Donald Trump still isn’t over Hillary Clinton and talks about her like she’s an ex from his high school who never returned his class ring (that happened to me). Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is the full package Republicans fear as she’s female, smart, educated, from New York, and brown. In 1993, racist senator Jesse Helms got into an elevator at the same time as the first black female senator, Carol Mosely Braun, and decided right then was a good time to start singing “Dixie,” in order to “make her cry.” Helms wasn’t a talented singer but he was capable of multitasking sexism and racism.

During the 1992 presidential campaign, Republicans began the gaslighting of Hillary Clinton. The fear was there would be an intelligent, educated woman in the White House who would be interested in issues beyond “just saying no.” Hillary Clinton was a prominent lawyer who worked on the Watergate committee. She had a BA from Wellesley College and a JD from Yale. Barbara Bush, her predecessor, a very intelligent and wonderful person in her own right who championed literacy, was a college dropout (I am too). One of the negatives about Clinton Republicans highlighted was that she had a job while her husband was governor. The gaslighting continued until…well, it’s still going on.

Michelle Obama had a job too and after she came into the White House, Republicans attacked her for not wearing sleeves and for wanting our children to eat healthier. What an evil woman. Michelle Obama is another female who has everything Republican men fear. She is intelligent, educated, smarter than they are, from Chicago, and…wait for it…black. Worst of all, she’s a really good person and a great mother. She had the gall not to have any scandals while in the White House or ever.

Forgetting they ever got mad at a First Lady for wearing something without sleeves, Republicans totally overlooked when Melania Trump went sleeveless…or in photos from her modeling past, without sleeves, or shirts, or pants, or underwear…but she was wearing another woman. Republicans praised her for being the classiest First Lady in history despite her borderline porn past…wearing that other woman. They said she was super smart because she can speak five languages, which they’ve never heard her do. They didn’t get upset when she said, “Fuck Christmas stuff and decorations.” They didn’t care that her campaign against online bullying was totally contradictory to her husband’s habit of online bullying. The thing about Melania isn’t her porn past or the fact she doesn’t do anything as First Lady except for making scary Christmas trees and destroying things other First Ladies created, but the fact she’s a mere trophy wife for a billionaire. She’s his third wife who is also his third model. You’re going to argue she married Donald Trump for his looks and personality? I’m sure the fourth model wife won’t be marrying him for his money either. That might be true because after his creditors come calling and all the lawsuits and criminal charges hit, he may not have any money.

Joseph Epstein has a serious issue with women. From looking at his Wikipedia page, he has issues about a lot of things, including homosexuals. Epstein wrote an op-ed for The Wall Street Journal saying the incoming First Lady, Dr. Jill Biden, should stop using the title “Dr.” He argues people who aren’t medical doctors but have doctorates shouldn’t use the title.

Epstein wrote, “The Ph.D. may once have held prestige, but that has been diminished by the erosion of seriousness and the relaxation of standards in university education generally.”

Tucker Carlson defended this by saying Dr. Jill Biden is as much of a doctor as Dr. Pepper. He also said people shouldn’t use the title “Dr” until they’ve delivered a baby. By those standards, we should stop calling Dr. Ben Carson “Dr.” Also, where did Dr. Pepper get his degree?

The top editor of the Journal, Paul A. Gigot, wrote a response defending Epstein’s chauvinism. He claims all the criticism is a coordinated political attack, ignoring that every conservative on the planet is now using the same talking points to attack Dr. Jill Biden over her title. And surely, Epstein wasn’t as being sexist in regards to Dr. Jill Biden as he was to other feminist scholars to whom he has referred to at various times as “pit bulls” and “dykes on bikes.”

Here’s the thing, kids: In addition to teaching, Dr. Jill Biden has two masters degrees and earned her doctorate in 2007, AFTER she got her two masters. She earned her degrees at the University of Delaware, West Chester University and Villanova University. I respect anyone who earns a degree. I especially respect those who stayed beyond the initial four years to become a doctor or a lawyer…OK, maybe a little less respect for the lawyers. Hell, I respect people who earn an associate degree after two years at a community college. I do not have a degree beyond high school so I respect that.

Fun Fact: Dr. Jill Biden has more degrees than Tucker Carlson and Joseph Epstein combined.

Some have said Biden’s doctorate is honorary. No. An honorary doctorate is what a school gives you, without you taking any classes, to honor you. You don’t need matriculation, attendance, credits, etc. Joseph Epstein actually has one of those. Usually, they’re given to someone who speaks to a graduating class. Those people probably should not call themselves “doctors.” But if you go to school for many years, study very hard, and earn a doctorate, call yourself “doctor.” You deserve it. Why would anyone have a problem with that?

Epstein’s attack is sexist. He never wrote a column for The Wall Street Journal before this calling for a man with a doctorate to stop using the “Dr.” title. He doesn’t have issues with Dr. Love from the rock band Kiss or the Muppet, Dr. Teeth, who doesn’t even have a degree but can probably cure your rock-n-roll pneumonia. He has no concern over Dr. J, the basketball player, or Dr. Dre, the rapper and music producer. But Dr. Jill Biden he has a problem with.

Gigot defended Epstein’s sexism by asking, “Why go to such lengths to highlight a single op-ed on a relatively minor issue?” If it’s so minor, then why did you run the op-ed?

He also wrote, “Mrs. Biden is now America’s most prominent doctorate holder and is taking a leading role in education policy. She can’t be off-limits for commentary.” That’s a trick conservatives do. You take the criticism you’re receiving and you lie about that. It’s like saying liberals accused Trump of winning in 2016 with voter fraud when the truth is, liberals were upset over Russian election meddling during the campaign, not with the ballots or accusations of voter fraud. Here, no one is saying you can’t criticize Dr. Jill Biden. What we’re saying is, wait until you have something to criticize. Gigot described this himself as a “relatively minor issue.” So with it being so minor of an issue, why attack her for it? Hmmmmmmmm?

In Epstein’s column, he humorously refers to Dr. Jill Biden as “kiddo.” Gigot defends this by saying it’s OK because Dr. Jill Biden’s husband calls her “kiddo.” He may also call her “baby,” “darling”, or “honey bunches sugar of oats,” but that doesn’t mean you can call her any of those.

I have a better idea: Instead of calling her “kiddo,” when you need to address her, call her “Dr.” That’s Dr. Jill Biden. Better get used to it because you’re going to be hearing it a lot over the next four years because Dr. Jill Biden’s husband, Mr. President-Elect Joe Biden, won the election by defeating Loser Donald Trump and is the next president of the United States.

Republicans better get used to hearing President Joe Biden as well as Dr. Jill Biden. And if you remain butthurt over it, call a doctor.

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Watch me draw:

Mr. President-Elect


CNN11092020

Here’s your cartoon for this week’s CNN Opinion newsletter. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday.

In fact, for this week’s newsletter. I drew TWO cartoon.

In the first cartoon, I wanted to show the contrast between Donald Trump and Joe Biden. I’ve seen a few other cartoonists do this also.

With Biden, you have a president-elect calling for unity. He’s already building his government.

In Donald Trump, here’s a man refusing to concede and engaging in wild conspiracy theories in order to cling to power. In firing his Defense Secretary, he’s dismantling his government. For their part, the GOP is enabling him. They keep saying we need to count every “legal” ballot, ignoring the fact we don’t have an abundance or any clear signs there are illegal ballots. It’s not like you go to a restaurant and say you only want food that’s not from a human carcass. That’s a given, right?

In 2016, Hillary Clinton conceded and President Obama invited Donald Trump to the White House. President Obama got the wheels rolling for the transition. He handed over the keys. Trump’s administration is refusing to cooperate with the president-elect’s transition team. In doing so, Donald Trump is proving he doesn’t care about the best interest of the nation.

When Trump was in Obama’s White House, President Obama said he wanted Trump to succeed because when he succeeds, “we all succeed.” Trump’s actions today show he’s not just wishing Biden to fail, he’s trying to make him fail.

Every presidential race has a loser. Most of those losers distinguish themselves with some dignity. Donald Trump doesn’t know how to do dignity. It doesn’t know how to afford people the generosity and privilege that’s been extended to him. Donald Trump is incapable of behaving like an adult. Donald Trump was a sore winner in 2016. In 2020, he’s distinguishing himself as a sore loser.

The same people who are crying about voter fraud in 2020 never proved it when they cried “voter fraud” in 2016. In fact, Donald Trump created a special commission to investigate voter fraud which failed to find any and quietly disbanded after working as a government agency acquiring voter roll data for the Trump Campaign. Fact.

Now, the same lawyers who are going to litigate voter fraud accusations are the same jerks who can’t differentiate between the Four Seasons Hotel and Four Seasons landscaping next to a Philadelphia dildo store (which should be called “Philadelphia dildos”). The leader of this legal team is the same jerk caught with his hands literally down his pants in a hotel room, with what he thought was a teenage girl, in a Borat movie. Do you want an investigation? Let’s investigate that. Screw missing ballots in Michigan. Rudy, why were you in a hotel room having drinks with a teenage girl while lying down with your hand down your pants? Kudo’s to Borat.

Also, if you run into Rudy, you have another reason besides Covid 19 to bring hand sanitizer.

CNN11082020

As for polls: Dammit, pollsters.

I spent four years defending your polling asses. In 2016, the polls weren’t off. The race was in the margin of error. The polls were pretty accurate in each state. What was off were the predictions.

This time however, they were off. National polls had Biden ahead way outside the margin of error. While plenty of states were tight, like Florida, North Carolina, Arizona, Texas, Ohio, and even Pennsylvania, Wisconsin and Michigan were way off. Those states gave Biden a huge lead.

Even though I knew they were mostly counting election day ballots on election night, I knew the were polls were wrong. Way wrong.

If you’re like me, a journalist who’s been reading the polls on a daily basis, you’re kinda pissed. This is a resource for me. I like my resources to be…what’s the word? Oh yeah. RESOURCEFUL!!!

These polling agencies need to figure out what they’re doing wrong. Maybe start with not only calling people with landlines anymore. That’s like taking a poll of people who don’t have the internet. And why can’t they call cell phones? People are calling me everyday on mine to ask about the warranty on the car I don’t have.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. And since someone asked this morning, yes. You can still get a signed print for $40.