Pinocchio

Nosy Republicans


This should not come as a surprise to anyone but a brand new lie has been discovered from Republican congressman-elect, George Santos.

You remember this Republican idiot. He won a Long Island congressional district that includes parts of Queens, and then we learned last week that basically everything he claimed about his past is a lie.

He lied about his education, claiming he has a degree (he does not) and that he went to two New York City universities that he never attended. He lied about being Jewish, now saying he didn’t say “Jewish,” but “Jew-ish.” He lied about his ancestry. He lied about where he worked and a charity he invented. He lied about having employees who were at the Pulse nightclub in Orlando during a mass shooting. He lied about being a landlord when the fact is he was an evicted tenant. He lied about his income.

George Santos is a pathological liar.

When I wrote about this last week, I joked that he might have lied about being an openly gay Republican. He says he’s been out and proud for the past decade and it’s revolutionary for a gay Latino Republican to win a congressional seat. But now The Daily Beast (I just signed up for a year’s subscription for $25 and this is the first time I’m getting to use it for my research) is reporting that Santos got a divorce within two weeks of announcing his candidacy for Congress.

Now Santos says he lives in Long Island with his husband and four dogs. That’s nice…but there’s no record of him being married to the guy he claims is his husband. But what we did find was a divorce… from a woman. And it wouldn’t surprise me if Santos is lying about those four dogs.

People get married for different reasons and plenty of gay people have married the opposite sex. But Santos claims he’s been out and proud for the past decade…when he was married to a woman, which he must not have been proud about because he kept it from his voters. Why he was married to a woman is his business and I’m not trying to pry into that. What I think is scandalous is that he kept it from his voters.

Santos admitted in an interview that he lied about his education and some of his work history and blows it off, comparing it to people who fudge their resumés. But if you lie on a job application the way Santos did to win a seat in Congress, you’d get fired. Baskin-Robbins fired Ant-Man for lying about his criminal past, though they did let him grab a Mango Fruit Blast on his way out the door, off the books of course. “Baskin-Robbins don’t play”. But Republicans, having fewer ethics than Baskin-Robbins, won’t push Santos out because they don’t care. If anything, they might become even more comfortable with him since he was once married to a woman….so maybe he’s not all gay.

And speaking of criminal pasts (although Ant-Man’s was a “cool” crime), Santos may be wanted in Brazil.

Republicans are liars so they’ll be OK with one more, especially with only a nine-seat advantage over Democrats in the House. They know if they remove Santos, which is within their power, that a Democrat will probably, most certainly, win his seat in a special election. And Santos better not get too comfortable in Congress because he will not be re-elected in 2024.

Now, while Republicans say they have ethics and the truth is important to them while they don’t force Santos out, watch their noses grow.

What House Republicans should do is fire George Santos, but let him grab a Mango Fruit Blast on his way out the door.

Creative note: I knew other cartoonists were gonna go for the Pinocchio cliché after this story hit, and I saw one yesterday. I took a break while drawing this and saw three more in a collection on Instagram (gathered by my friend Courtney Clift). Crap, I just saw another one on Facebook. Some of those guys are using it because they’re lazy (I liked one of them). I’m using it because I’m not lazy and kinda dreaded the work this one would entail. I’m pretty certain I missed something, like coloring a leaf, and I’ll spot it three days from now.

It is a good time to use the cliché as Guillermo Del Toro’s Pinocchio came out a few weeks ago, and it’s excellent. I didn’t expect to enjoy it as much as I did and plan to watch it again. You should too.

Music note: Today’s music to color to was provided by Counting Crows.

Facebook Suspension Update: There are 15 days left in my Facebook suspension for typing the word “Taliban.” Here’s Quannah’s countdown clock.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Fire The Trump Culture


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Here’s your cartoon for this week’s CNN Opinion newsletter. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday.

President Joe Biden has fired several Trump appointees who refused to resign. In firing these goons, he’s cleaning the administration and the government from the disaster of the Trump era. While he’s reversing many hateful and stupid Trump policies with executive orders, he also needs to reverse the entire culture of lies, bullshit, and conspiracy theories that Donald Trump nurtured for four years. You start by getting rid of the people Donald Trump installed. They are poison.

An environment of lies surrounded Donald Trump. After he’d say a lie, his entire administration and those who followed him would repeat the lie. Trump lies became gospel. Any disagreement with Trump was the ultimate sin, and sinners would be branded. Previous Never Trumpers who became Trumpers would cast the biggest stones at the Never Trumpers.

In Arizona, the state Republican Party has censured former Senator Jeff Flake, current Governor Doug Ducey, and Cindy McCain, widow of John McCain, for disagreeing with Trump. Jeff Flake endorsed Joe Biden. The governor certified the election for Joe Biden and did all he could to contain the coronavirus. Cindy McCain also endorsed Joe Biden. Cindy McCain is a private citizen who has never held elected office. Keep that in mind the next time you hear a Republican talk about “cancel culture” or having their opinions “censored” by Twitter. Cindy McCain, a private citizen, was censured by the Republican Party for her viewpoint.

The GOP is hoping to retain the 74 million Americans who voted for Trump, which is keeping millions of Americans who are racists and conspiracy theorists. Do they continue to nurture the lies for the next four years, or do they ditch Trump and become a political party again instead of a cult? Do they keep the millions who supported installing a fascist dictator over a democratically-elected president? Do they keep the millions who would rather be ruled by a Hair GropenFuhrer?

While embracing cultists, the Republican Party is punishing conservatives for being conservatives. It’s like the Republican Party doesn’t want Republicans anymore. Only cultists need apply.

As there is a home for cultists in the GOP, there shouldn’t be a home for them in the government. Joe Biden needs to terminate every Trump remaining in employment in the government. It’s bad enough we have elected officials who supported an insurrection. It’s even worse we have judges nominated by a Russian tool who was impeached twice. Personally, I think President Joe Biden should ask every federal judge nominated by Donald Trump for his/her resignations. He wouldn’t get it but it’d make every judge defend him or herself.

You can call it “cancel culture” all you want, but cancel the cultists. Get them out. They’re poison. They’re seditious. They’re liars.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have an order of 20 copies of my book (11 are left to purchase) on the way, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. The books won’t arrive until after the new year, but orders are being taken and they’ll be shipped as soon as I receive them. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Prime Time Liar


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Last night, Donald Trump made news with a prime time address from the prestigious setting of the Oval Office. I mean, it was news if you’re a Trump sycophant who believes a 72-year-old racist, sniffy, bloviating Cheeto-skinned fear monger repeating the same arguments from the past three years off a teleprompter with the reading level of a third grader is news.

In 2014, the major networks refused to air a prime-time address by President Obama because they deemed it too political. Last night, they aired one from Donald Trump where he argued that Democrats should end his government shutdown by funding his racist medieval vanity project so rapists and murderers would stop crossing our southern border. I’m glad it didn’t get political.

The latest talking point from the stupidest and most racist administration in American history is “crisis.”

Yes, we have a crisis on the border if you can ignore the facts that illegal border crossings have been decreasing steadily over the past decade, most drugs entering this nation pass through ports of entry, people here illegally commit far less violent crimes than those born here naturally, and most here illegally entered with visas.

All the above was fact-checked by one news anchor who also reported that the $5.7 billion the shutdown is over was requested, not by law enforcement as Trump claimed, but by Trump himself. The anchor also called Trump out over his claim that the new trade deal with Mexico will pay for the wall, by pointing out the deal is not yet complete. That anchor was Shep Smith of Fox News.

Trump also claimed the wall would pay for itself. He didn’t explain how, so we’re all to assume the wall will get a job.

There is a crisis on the border, but it’s not crossings. It’s Trump’s policy of family separation and putting children in detention camps. In addition to the shutdown, Trump owns a humanitarian crisis.

Trump’s address would have made news if he used it to declare a “national emergency,” but he didn’t. That is a good thing because the only national emergency for Trump is that government employees won’t be paid this Friday, he’s losing support, and he’s owning this shutdown.

If the border crisis is such a national emergency, then how does it make sense to have the government shutdown? How will $5.7 billion, a down payment for a construction project that will take years and be much more expensive, be an immediate solution?

Trump let radio talk show host bungholes cajole him into this shutdown and now he’s in a corner he can’t get out of. If he crumbles, his entire argument for the wall and Mexico ever paying for it is over. If he holds firm, he’ll continue to hurt 800,000 government employees and the families and local economies that rely on their income.

Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi and Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer gave a rebuttal while sharing a podium and looking goofy. But their argument made sense. End the shutdown and continue negotiating about border security. Democrats will support funding for the border, just not a stupid and useless wall.

Trump’s address was to save his skin among his base, but all he did was repeat the same arguments he made over the past week to the press and on Twitter. He blamed Democrats, claimed they don’t support border security, and lied about the dangers of immigrants. And, he did it without any energy or enthusiasm.

It was later reported that Trump didn’t want to give the speech or go to Texas later this week for a border photo-op. In an off-the-record luncheon, he told reporters, “It’s not going to change a damn thing, but I’m still doing it,” and that the Texas trip is just a “photo opportunity.” Somehow, all that got on the record.

Don’t expect the public mood to shift in Trump’s favor. He made the same argument about the border and created lies about migrant caravans during the campaign for the midterm elections. America responded by voting overwhelmingly against the Trump agenda. The majority of Americans are rejecting racism and xenophobia.

Once again, Trump proved he can’t be trusted. This time, the networks got burned. Maybe they’ll remember this non-news event the next time Trump asks to use their networks for a prime-time address. But, they probably didn’t learn anything.

I expect more Republicans to call to end the shutdown before this day is over. I also expect Trump to end the shutdown soon and tell us we should all thank him for that. His supporters will echo that, and he was the mature one for ending it…after starting it. That is not a bold prediction.

Creative note: I finally caved and did a Pinocchio cartoon. I thought this was an interesting take on the cliché while poking fun at myself for always drawing Trump’s hair and tie protruding out of televisions. What will I do next, draw Trump as Humpty Dumpty on the wall?

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
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