Pedophile

Boris and Andrew


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While the rest of the world makes fun of us for stupid shit like politicizing a virus and handing the White House over to a racist grifting “pussy-grabbing” clown game show host, we can take some comfort in that we’re not alone. Other first-world nations also have to deal with their occasional lunatics too.

Racism sells, not just in the United States but also in the UK. What do you think Brexit was? Here, our most recent winner was Virginia governor Glenn Youngkin whose entire campaign was a bunch of racist dog whistles.

And it’s like the UK didn’t learn from our mistake of putting a guy with ridiculous bleached hair into leadership. Anyone who chooses to look like that should be disqualified on that alone, even before you get to the racism. Boris Johnson also won his position with racist lies. Now, Boris is in danger of being tossed out as Prime Minister over going to a bring-your-own-booze party during the pandemic and the UK’s period of lockdowns. And if you think it’s bad that your own party may oust you, what about being kicked to the curb by your own mother?

Prince Andrew has been stripped of his scarlet tunics, white plumes,, military titles, and honorary patronages by his own mother, Queen Elizabeth II. It’s his own damn fault too.

Here’s some free unsolicited life advice, kids: Don’t be friends with pedophiles. Also, don’t be a pedophile.

Former presidents Bill Clinton and Donald Trump (sic) could have used the advice of not being friends with pedophiles, such as Jeffrey Epstein and Ghislaine Maxwell. There is no evidence Bill Clinton ever engaged in such sick behavior, but he was pals with Epstein. There’s no evidence Donald Trump ever assaulted a minor. There’s only footage of him dancing with Jeffrey Epstein at Mar-a-Lago, one rape accusation, another incident caught on tape of him saying he’ll be dating a ten-year-old as soon as she’s old enough, and all the instances of him publicly boasting about wanting to bang his daughter. Right after Tiffany was born, he publicly speculated on her future breast size. At least the English can claim they never voted for Prince Andrew. What’s our excuse?

Prince Andrew is in the midst of a civil suit in New York City after a judge said it can move forward. One of Epstein’s victims claims she was trafficked to Andrew three times.

Andrew says he never met his victim despite there being a photo (he claims is a fake) of him with his arm around her exposed midriff. The victim also claims he sweated all over her on a club dance floor which he says is impossible because he lost the ability to sweat from an incident in the Falkland Island War. I bet this trial has brought that ability back.

Expect Andrew to settle this lawsuit as he’s embarrassed his Queen mum and royal family enough. Any testimony from the failed prince will be a disaster. If he settles, he’ll most likely pay that out of his own pocket. But then again, how did a Prince obtain the money he has? The English taxpayers have funded his entire life…including his lifestyle of partying with pedophiles.

Prince Andrew is lucky this is a civil trial, but what comes after that? Can a prince be on a sex-offender registry?

And what will Boris do if he’s ousted? Will he claim it was fake and he’ll be reinstated soon? Maybe he’ll start doing boxing commentary.

Personally, I’d like to see Boris Johnson and Donald Trump go on a speaking tour together. But who’d get top billing? Would it be the “Boris and Donald Show” or the “Trump and Johnson Tour?” We could settle that problem with a title like “The Ridiculous Hair Club Tour.”

Music note: This cartoon put me in the mood to listen to some Warren Zevon while coloring.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 18 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

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Gaetz and Bars for R. Kelly


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R. Kelly is finally going to prison after decades of accusations of sex abuse, including that of minors. In case you need an old man update, R. Kelly is the R&B guy behind the song, “I Believe I Can Fly,” which you heard 25 years ago while watching space Jam. I’m just glad Lola Bunny escaped that situation unscathed.

Kelly wasn’t just your average everyday charming pedophile. Like Jeffrey Epstein, Kelly was operating a sex trafficking operation that involved multiple people. And like Epstein, Kelly got away with it for decades.

The Brooklyn jury voted to convict on all nine counts against him, with one being for racketeering and the other eight for violations of an anti-sex trafficking law. The majority of Kelly’s accusers were black women. Hopefully, this will give them some closure with the trauma they have to live with for their rest of their lives.

And Kelly may be spending the rest of his life in prison. He faces ten years to life in prison.

Oronike Odeleye, the co-founder of the #MuteRKelly campaign, said, “This is the culmination of the movement of so many women who have been trying so long to have their voices heard. We have never had full ownership of our bodies. And we’re at a moment where Black women are no longer accepting that as the price of being Black and female in America.”

And there’s reason to be skeptical of receiving justice in these manners. It took decades to capture Epstein, who kept getting sweetheart deals from cops, prosecutors, the FBI, the media, ect. The first thing they got Epstein for was for soliciting a minor prostitute which was blaming the victim. Casting her as a prostitute because Epstein paid her for a massage was victim blaming and letting Epstein off with a slap on the wrist after years of raping teenage girls.

Recently, Bill Cosby, who should have been rotting in a Pennsylvania prison cell until his death, was released on bullshit technicalities. So even when they do capture one of these powerful pedophiles, you still have to hold your breath forever. Even after being captured dead-to-rights, Epstein escaped justice by killing himself. And yes, he killed himself.

Now, will we see other accused targets face justice or continue to skate away cleanly? Will we continue to see powerful men like Donald Trump and Matt Gaetz get away with it? I hope not. With Trump, you look at the sexual assault and rape allegations along with election tampering and starting an insurrection, and you wonder, “What does it take to put that guy behind bars?”

Matt Gaetz is the pedo poster boy for smug obnoxious frat boy douche canoes. Even if Gaetz is innocent of sex trafficking of minors, he’s a complete asshole with the way he’s disrespected women. He’s also an asshole for being a conspiracy theory spreading gaslighting liar. He’s also a moron in tacky suits and pointy yard gnome hair. Those are all good reasons for locking him up forever.

I’m 99 percent certain Donald Trump will face criminal charges somewhere for something. But, I’m not certain at all he’ll ever go to prison. With Matt Gaetz, I’m 99 percent certain he’s going to prison because no one is going to protect him and he’s an idiot.

Hopefully, none of these abusing jerks will ever fly free again.

I believe they should go to jail. I believe they should all go to Hell. Let’s cage them up really far away. Lock them up and throw the keys away.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are FIVE copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

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Creeper Confessions


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Your support in the form of donations is appreciated. I am fully independent as I’m not employed by a newspaper or with a major syndicate (leaving one to be independent). It does take a lot of work to provide you with cartoons, columns, and videos almost every day (more than any other political cartoonist), and I don’t charge my clients much at all. If you can, please consider making a financial contribution to keep the fun flowing, or purchase a signed print for $40. Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!!

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Candidate Stranger Danger


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Usually, when you send a pedophile to Congress, you don’t know they’re a pedophile until much later. In this case, Nathan Larson has boasted he is a pedophile, among many other horrible things.

Larson is an Independent congressional candidate for Virginia’s 10th District. Shockingly, he’s not running as a Republican. Of course, there’s no chance in hell the guy could actually win, but if he’s going to pull any votes from one of the two parties, it’ll be the Republican Party.

Larson boasted to the Huffington Post that he’s a pedophile. He’s also written about it online in addition to bragging about raping his late ex-wife, who has since committed suicide.  He said, “A lot of people are tired of political correctness and being constrained by it.” I don’t think it’s political correctness that prevents most people from raping women and children, or commit father-daughter incest, which he’s also into. And, yes. He has a daughter that the law is wisely keeping him away from.

Larson’s campaign manifesto says he is a “quasi-neoreactionary libertarian” candidate. His platform includes protecting gun ownership rights, establishing free trade and protecting “benevolent white supremacy,” as well as legalizing incestuous marriage and child pornography. Charming.

From HuffPost; In his manifesto, Larson called Nazi leader Adolf Hitler a “white supremacist hero.” He urged Congress to repeal the Violence Against Women Act, adding, “We need to switch to a system that classifies women as property, initially of their fathers and later of their husbands.” He also showed sympathy for men who identify as involuntary celibates, or incels, suggesting it is unfair that they “are forced to pay taxes for schools, welfare, and other support for other men’s children.”

There are at least eight white supremacists running for office this year in the nation, and my Virginia might have the worst. On top of all this, Larson is a convicted felon who threatened to kill the president in 2008, near the end of Bush’s term, so I’m not sure if he was aiming for him or Obama. Felons normally lose their right to vote and run for office, but Virginia’s former governor, Terry McAuliffe, restored them in 2016.

Donald Trump has already endorsed one pedophile this year. He’s also praised white supremacists and exhibited his own racism while also publicly lusting after his own daughter. The only issue he might have with the sort of scum like Nathan Larson is he’s not a Republican.

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Pervy Politics


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I’m old enough to remember when Republicans wrote bathroom laws to protect our children from sexual predators.

Now, the same people who go into full-blown snowflake meltdown when there’s not a Christmas design on their Starbucks coffee cup are perfectly fine with sticking a pedophile in the Senate. It’s OK because he’s accepted Jesus. There is still some coffee outrage over this Roy Moore scandal. Keurig stopped advertising on Sean Hannity’s fake news show because he kinda endorsed Republican pedophilia. Republicans have responded by destroying their Keurig coffee machine.

People are destroying coffee machines that cost anywhere from $100 to $300. Why don’t you just protest by mailing an envelope full of cash to Keurig? That makes about as much sense. By the way, did you know the coffee pods those machines use are not biodegradable and environmentalists hate them? Yeah, you conservatives can’t win for nothing. Being stupid hurts.

A fifth woman revealed yesterday that Alabama Republican Senate candidate Roy Moore sexually assaulted her. The mainstream Republican Party and even Ted Cruz are now all calling for Moore to drop out of the race. Alabama Republicans, on the other hand, are standing by their man.

Republican logic has been all over the place with this issue.

Evangelicals have spent the past four decades calling themselves the “moral majority,” yet, over 80% of them voted for the orange pussy grabber for president. Republicans impeached Bill Clinton over consensual sex and had to go through three Speakers of the House to do it, as the first two of those turds had sex scandals. And, we found out years later the third one was a pedophile.

Part of the GOP defense of Moore is to talk about other sex scandals, from Clinton to Harvey Weinstein, to Louis C.K. Hell, some are even griping about Joe Biden’s shoulder massages.

Five women have accused Moore of dating teenage girls and of sexual assault. The accusers are backed up by over 30 sources. Others have come out to say it was well-known at the time that Mr. Moore dated teenage girls while he was in his early thirties. The guy would hang out at the mall and high school football games. Eventually, he got banned from the mall for being a Creepy McCreeperson and a stranger danger. Moore has defended himself with the lame excuses that he didn’t “generally” date teenage girls, and that he never dated one without their mother’s permission. He says he doesn’t remember the new accuser or the restaurant where he attacked her, yet she provided her high school yearbook he signed where he also included the name of the restaurant. But, Moore’s supporters don’t believe any of that.

What they do believe, without any evidence, is that The Washington Post paid these women to come forward and it’s all financed by Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama. They wonder why these women, who are being publicly shamed by Breitbart and in their communities, being chased into hiding, and who Moore is threatening to sue, didn’t make their revelations sooner.

For what it’s worth, adults don’t sign high school yearbooks unless they’re teachers. I know I haven’t signed one since I left high school. Hell, I didn’t sign that many when I was in school. I wasn’t really popular.

During the recent campaign for Virginia’s governor, the Republican candidate Ed Gillespie ran a lot of race-baiting commercials. Along with those, he ran one accusing Democrat Ralph Northam of being in favor of restoring rights to pedophiles. One person was busted for child pornography right after his rights were restored, and Gillespie’s campaign used that to paint Northam, a pediatrician, as a friend to pedophiles as if he was driving the van with free candy. Voters saw through the lie and made Northam our next governor.

Meanwhile, in Alabama, Republicans are telling people to vote for the pedophile. And, there’s a chance the pedophile might win.

I’m really glad I live in Virginia and not Alabama.

Creative Notes: I took longer than I wanted to with this cartoon. I started around 3:00 AM. I didn’t like the lettering so I redid it. Then I didn’t like the elephants, so I drew them over. Then, I still didn’t like the lettering so I did that again. And then, I realized I still hated the elephants, so I drew them again. And then, I hated some of the colors, so I redid that…and then, the sun came out and eventually 10:00 AM rolled around.

I make it sound like I have high standards but it’s probably more like an obsessive-compulsive disorder…and a lot of coffee.

Speaking of coffee, there’s a Keurig in my house and I had never tried it. All the talk yesterday got my curiosity up, so housemate’s girlfriend showed me how to use it. It was delicious. I didn’t try one as a lame way of sticking it to conservatives. I really wanted to try one. By the way, did you know that Keurig is the most hated thing in Washington state? I think it has to do with being environmental and snooty about their coffee, and not because the people of Washington love pedophiles.

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