Palin

They’ll Let Anyone In Here

cjones04252017

Much has been made of the Trump administration concealing the visitors log so the public can’t see who’s leaving a trail of slime in and out of the White House. It really makes me wonder what kind of sludge they would be ashamed to be associated with if they’re sharing photos of the likes of Sarah Palin, Ted Nugent, and Kid Rock standing around Trump at the Resolute Desk. Wanna throw up yet? I’m with ya’.

These are some of those consequences of elections they talk about. Conservatives had a hard time with White House visits by Al Sharpton, Jay Z, and Beyonce. But this assortment of loons is a basket of deplorables.

Ted Nugent, whose most famous song is about “vagina grabbing,” has made veiled threats to kill Obama, who he’s also called a “subhuman mongrel.” Anyone who’s made threats toward a president, any president, should not be allowed on the White House grounds ever. He’s lucky he’s not in prison, which he said he’d be or dead if Obama was reelected in 2008. He’s not in jail and he’s still alive. He’s a hateful racist person and he gets to visit the Oval office. Nice.

We’re lucky Sarah Palin’s trip to the White House is only for a photo opportunity, and not an administration job. I guess even Trump isn’t that stupid. Perhaps she got to use her visit to share more wild conspiracy theories with the president. He eats that stuff up.

Kid Rock, like Nugent, is collecting guns. Two years ago he talked about buying guns because he believed “Obummer” was going to ban them. Conservatives loved to pull up naughty lyrics by Jay Z and Beyonce and used them as bad examples for the Obamas to associate with. I guess they don’t have any problems with Trump hanging out with a guy who described himself as a pimp selling whores. If for no other reason, I wouldn’t allow Kid Rock on the grounds for the butchering he did of “Sweet Home Alabama” AND “Werewolves Of London” which he combined into one song.

I am more concerned about who Trump puts on his staff than who comes for dinner, eats the meatloaf, tries the chocolate cake, makes a disrespectful photo with a portrait of Hillary Clinton, etc. But seriously, where is the class and dignity?

Conservatives complained about Michelle Obama baring her arms. They don’t have a problem with Palin baring her shoulders in the Oval Office, or the fact that Kid Rock and The Nuge both wore hats. Ronald Reagan and George W. wouldn’t enter the room without wearing a tie and jacket. Jeans were also banned. I suppose exceptions can be made for those who be big pimpin’.

On Thursday Trump refused to describe Kim Jong-un as unstable. The North Korean leader further enhanced his image of a crackpot a few years ago by entertaining Dennis Rodman. What sort of message is Trump sending by hanging out with this riffraff?

Trump wanted to reward Palin for endorsing him during the primaries. Despite her endorsement, he won anyway. As it turns out, Nugent and Kid Rock weren’t actually invited. The invitation was for Palin and friends. Surprising your host with those two would be like going to a party and your date is a cocaine-riddled prostitute who sneaks into the host’s bedroom and tries on all their underwear. Or even worse, a DJ.

Palin does not conduct herself in the dignified manner you’d expect from one who was a vice presidential candidate and governor of an actual state, even if that state is Alaska. Instead of class and grace Palin chooses to ride the troglodyte train with Nugent and Rock. Their pettiness was saved for posterity with the mocking photo-op by the Clinton portrait.

John F. Kennedy once hosted an event for Nobel Prize winners. During the reception he said “I think this is the most extraordinary collection of talent, of human knowledge, that has ever been gathered at the White House – with the possible exception of when Thomas Jefferson dined alone.”

Hosting the shitter, the quitter, and the one-hitter, Donald Trump finally got the opportunity to be the smartest guy in the room.

Update and non-creative note: If I had know the “shitter, quitter, one-hitter” line would be such a hit with my friends on social media, I would have made this note earlier. I did not come up with that. I would love to give credit to who did but I snaked it from Twitter where I saw it used by several people. I don’t want credit for something I didn’t create. I did write the second half of the sentence (smartest guy in the room) but the description for Nugent, Palin, and Kid Rock is not mine.

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The McCain Blame

On Thursday Senator John McCain blamed President Obama for creating ISIS and having a hand in the attack in Orlando. I guess he forgot about that entire episode where President Bush invaded the wrong country, destabilizing it and creating a world class recruitment center and haven for terrorists. It must have slipped his mind.

After accusing the president of treason and coming off as ridiculous as Donald Trump, McCain attempted to clarify his statement. He said his intention was to blame Obama’s policies, not as if Obama was personally cutting off journalists’ heads in the desert outside Raqqa.

McCain is in a tough primary race for his senate seat in Arizona. Now may not be the best time for him to make stupid statements. To retain his seat he needs to distance himself as far as possible from Donald Trump, not mimic him. What’s McCain’s next move, a photo op with a taco bowl while accusing himself of not being a war hero?

Before McCain picked a running mate in his failed presidential attempt in 2008, nobody outside Alaska has ever heard of Sarah Palin. Since that time we’ve suffered eight years of a tidal wave of stupidity that even Donald Trump has had trouble duplicating. Thanks, Senator. It’s the stupid that keeps on giving.

Speaking of stupid, Sarah Palin also had some criticism of President Obama this week. She probably does that every week but this one was noticeable. She said the president is a “special kind of stupid” over his efforts toward gun control. Seriously. Miss Right Winger Bitter Clinger has called someone else stupid. Next, her daughter will start lecturing about abstinence.

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V.P. Caribou

Sarah Palin gave on interview on CNN this past Sunday. Oh boy, here we go. There was talk of her being Trump’s vice presidential selection. Palin stated that she is the most vetted person available. She might be right. If there’s one thing most Americans will agree on is that Sarah Palin is an idiot.

I have noticed over the years that when the national consensus on a public figure is their lack of intelligence, the perception never diminishes with the figure continuing to speak publicly. Did the images ever improve for Dan Quayle, Britney Spears, Jessica Simpson, Michele Bachmann, or George W. Bush? No. Sarah Palin hasn’t helped herself at all in this regard. She has only reinforced it.

When Palin was first introduced to the American public as John McCain’s running mate, many liberals, Democrats, and even moderates were underwhelmed with her intellect, or overwhelmed with her lack of it. Within a few months a few conservatives were less defensive of her. Even a couple years later during her “Blood Libel” retort to Obama on gun violence, many conservatives were still defending her. A former colleague of mine, a writer now with a think tank, wrote a column in response to a cartoon of mine on her and he wrote that Palin’s speech was “exceptional.” I thought it was exceptionally stupid. I’m not sure how many are still drinking that toxic Kool-Aid. It seems today most conservatives are strangely silent about her.

During Palin’s interview with Jake Tapper on CNN she mostly talked about helping defeat Speaker of the House Paul Ryan in his upcoming primary. She wants to “Cantor” him. In her defense, while talking about how “vetted” she is, she also said she didn’t want to be a burden on the Trump campaign. It wouldn’t burden me.

The other topic of this cartoon concerns Trump accusing Hillary Clinton of “enabling” her husband’s infidelity. Trump, who is still slinging insults like a 5th grader believes it’s a woman’s fault when her husband cheats. I wonder if his two ex wives were enablers for all his affairs. I would love to hear that question come up during his first debate with Hillary Clinton.

The “bimbo” assault on Bill Clinton failed in 1992. It failed again in 1996. They eventually impeached the president over it in 1999, and they failed to remove him from office. It didn’t hurt Hillary Clinton during her first or second Senate campaigns in New York nor did it harm her first presidential run in 2008. The slow learners that they are, Republicans will do it again.

We’re about to have six months of a presidential race completely devoid of substance from the Republican side. And they wonder why Paul Ryan doesn’t want to sign on.

Palin’s Blame Game

I wanted to draw a cartoon on the whiteness of the Oscars. I also want to do one on the Flint water crisis which is a more important issue. But Sarah Palin won’t shut up.

I didn’t want to do something on Palin two days in a row. In case you didn’t get the reference in yesterday’s cartoon, the “bag of hammers” was a reference to the Grizzly Mama. I couldn’t resist after her second day in a row of being a blabbering mess. This time she blamed Obama for her son’s recent arrest.

In case you’re not in the know, Palin’s son, Track (yes, that’s his name), was arrested for domestic violence. He’s accused of punching a girl he’s in a relationship with, being drunk while doing so, and there was a firearm involved. Police say his Trackness was “uncooperative, belligerent and evasive” during their questioning, which helped lead to the arrest.

Republicans love to blame Obama for everything. I thought it couldn’t reach a higher level of ridiculousness until Sarah said it was Obama’s neglect of our troops that led to her son’s PTSD that caused him to strike a woman. She said that? You betcha.

Anytime I make fun of her daughter, Bristol, the Palin supporters come after me. They say it’s unfair to pick on her. First off, I’m not fair. Second, Bristol has put herself into the discussion. She blogs her idiotic opinions on politics and current events, and is an advocate for abstinence yet she keeps getting knocked up by different dudes while remaining unmarried. Yeah, she’s fair game.

I promise I’ll try not to draw a Palin cartoon tomorrow. I’m sure Sarah Palin can’t top her last stupid statement before the week’s over. She can’t, right?

The Endorsement’s In The Bag

Oh happy day! Sarah Palin’s back. Sarah Palin endorsed Donald Trump for president today. The only way life could get better for a political cartoonist would be if Trump makes her his veep pick while ditching Melania and proposing to her.

Palin chose between Trump and Ted Cruz. Even if you’re choosing between those two for your vote, you’re a special kind of stupid. She endorsed Cruz for his Senate run and he was very saddened not to get her support this time as he wouldn’t be required to go duck hunting with camo makeup on his face like he had to do for the endorsement of those Duck Dynasty lunatics.

It was Trump’s second endorsement of the day. Earlier in the day he picked up the endorsement from John Wayne’s family. Trump talked about how John Wayne, from Iowa, displayed toughness and a manly swagger (I made that up but it’s the gist of what he said). John Wayne, real name “Marion”, served World War II on a movie set. He never shot at anyone nor was he shot at. He wasn’t even a real cowboy but he was a white supremacist. So I’m sure the endorsement from his family is really going to cement that conservative Iowa vote. At least he didn’t do a Michele Bachmann and confuse John Wayne with the serial killer John Wayne Gacy, though perhaps with relatives still available they can endorse Ted Cruz.

Palin showed up at a Trump event and gave a speech that totally wowed the crowd. Wowed or confused them. It was hard to tell but they were really quiet. There’s speculation that a large percentage of the crowd were college kids forced to attend while pledging a fraternity.

During her speech Sarah uttered such brilliants Palinisms as status quo slurping off the gravy train, safety nets into hammocks, “rock ‘n’ rollers and holy rollers” make the world go round, Right-wingin’, bitter-clingin’, proud clingers of our guns,our God, and our religions and our Constitution, wearing political correctness like a suicide vest, drill baby drill, squirmishes, yelling Allah Akbar, no more pussyfooting around, and can I get a hallelujah for the main thing.

So after hearing her speech we’re pretty sure she either endorsed Trump or suffered a tiny stroke.

Any time I say something even the slightest bit critical of Palin right wingers really come after me. It’s always amusing to be insulted by people who share Palin’s clarity and intellect. At least I think they’re insulting me. Again, it’s hard to tell exactly what point they’re making or if they too, are suffering from tiny strokes.

I was going with another idea but I tweeted out the caption of this cartoon, just on a lark and without any intention of it being my cartoon. Then I started to like it and when I went to delete the post on Facebook it had over 30 likes and a bunch of comments, so I let it stay. People told me it should be my cartoon so, it’s my cartoon. I don’t like to reveal my idea before I draw it (a few of my colleagues show roughs before they publish their cartoons). I prefer the reader experience the writing, punch line, viewpoint, etc, in the cartoon for the first time when they’re reading it.

I also had two other ideas for different subjects when the Palin news broke. I had to go with a Palin/Trump cartoon.

Here’s my first idea, which I killed because it’s obvious. The New York Daily News used the same theme.

claytoonz

Nationally Syndicated Editorial Cartoonist