Obstruction Of Justice

Trippy Testimony


Donald Trump has either lived a life dreaming of being a third-rate mobster or he actually is a third-rate mobster. But, you can’t be a mobster without goons, and guess what. Trump has goons. Enter Rudy Giuliani (among others).

When the Special Counsel Robert Mueller finally issues his report, obstruction of justice will surely be one of the many charges against Donald Trump.

Trump fired FBI Director James Comey, then told Russians and Lester Holt that he did it to end the Russia investigation. Instead, it got him a Special Counsel investigation. Yes, Donald Trump is really that stupid. When you commit a crime, don’t go on national television and brag about it…or tweet it.

Trump has been sending tweets that are attempting to obstruct justice. Part of his obstruction will be witness tampering.

Reportedly, Trump’s team, or Trump himself, was in contact with Paul Manafort’s people after Manafort struck a deal with Mueller’s team. According to Buzzfeed, Trump ordered his former lawyer/fixer Michael Cohen to lie to Congress about the Trump Tower Moscow project. While Mueller’s office issued a statement saying the Buzzfeed story was inaccurate, they didn’t specify which part wasn’t correct.

Donald Trump has also engaged in intimidating a witness. Cohen has struck a plea agreement with Mueller and had volunteered to testify before Congress, again. This time, before a Democrat-controlled committee and not one run by Republican sycophants.

Using mobster language, Trump called Cohen a “rat” for cooperating with law enforcement. Trump praised Roger Stone (another goon) for not cooperating. Think about it. This is a president of the United States attacking people for cooperating with the law and praising others for fighting law enforcement.

After the Buzzfeed story broke, Trump started threatening Cohen by bringing up his father-in-law. Trump tweeted, “Lying to reduce his jail time! Watch father-in-law!” Trump has also claimed Cohen’s wife is involved in crime. Trump might have a point as the daddy-in-law; Fima Shusterman once owned three apartments in Trump Tower, which is a real popular investment for money launderers.

Trump called sycophant Jeanine Pirro on Trump TV (Fox News) and said, “In order to get his sentence reduced, he says, ‘I have an idea. I’ll tell — I’ll give you some information on the president.’ Well, there is no information.”

Trump continued ranting like a lunatic who had just snorted five pounds of Adderall at a bus station, “But he should give information maybe on his father-in-law, because that’s the one that people want to look at. Because where does that money — that’s the money in the family. And I guess he didn’t want to talk about his father-in-law. He’s trying to get his sentence reduced. So it’s pretty sad. You know, it’s weak. And it’s very sad to watch a thing like that. I couldn’t care less.”

Obviously, Trump couldn’t care less.

Giuliani went on CNN and said that Cohen’s father-in-law “may have ties to something called organized crime,” without mentioning any details. It’s getting harder and harder to believe the former mayor of New York City was once a respected federal prosecutor.

On Wednesday, Cohen announced he was withdrawing his commitment to appear because, his lawyer said, of “threats against his family” from Trump and his lawyer, Rudy Giuliani.

Three House committee chairs, Elijah Cummings, Adam Schiff, and Jerrold Nadler released a joint statement saying, “Our nation’s laws prohibit efforts to discourage, intimidate, or otherwise pressure a witness not to provide testimony to Congress. The President should make no statement or take any action to obstruct Congress’ independent oversight and investigative efforts, including by seeking to discourage any witness from testifying in response to a duly authorized request from Congress.”

At the White House, Trump said, “He’s only been threatened by the truth,” which sounds more like projecting.

What Trump doesn’t sound like is an innocent person.

Now, the Senate Intelligence Committee has issued a subpoena for Cohen to testify next month. Let’s hope he doesn’t suffer a Putin-inspired accident along the way.

Just as I was finishing up this blog, breaking news was reported that Trump goon Roger Stone has been arrested and indicted on charges including obstruction, false statements, and witness tampering. This is one I have been expecting, along with a few of Trump’s kids. Let’s hope he has company in the very near future.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
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Emenies List


Paul Conrad, perhaps the greatest political cartoonist in American history, was furious when he found out he wasn’t on Nixon’s infamous enemies list. It turned out he actually was when the second list was revealed. A second list? Nixon hated a lot of people. Conrad later said being included was his greatest distinction, and he won three Pulitzers. Can you imagine if Nixon had Twitter?

Trump, who is not a student of history, gets off having an enemies list. He’s even made it public and had White House spokesgoon Sarah Huckabee Sanders read it from the podium. Like Nixon, this is probably just Trump’s first list.

This list targets people with security clearances who have criticized Trump. Wednesday, Trump surprised everyone by revoking the clearance of former director of the CIA, John Brennan. Brennan has been highly critical of Trump and Baby Twittler Cheeto face doesn’t like that.

Why do former officials have security clearances? It’s not for them, it’s for us. There may be situations where current officials need feedback from their predecessor. They will often have to update them on current events to get a fair judgement. These former officials are not receiving daily briefings. Trump has decided his ego is more important than national security.

Brennan is an analyst now for MSNBC, and the White House accuses him of using his clearance to get that job, as though he’s going to dish classified information on Rachel Maddow. They issued a statement from Trump about “the risks posed by his erratic conduct and behavior,” Brennan’s, not Trump’s. They also accused Brennan of having “leveraged his status as a former high-ranking official with access to highly sensitive information to make a series of unfounded and outrageous allegations, wild outbursts on the internet and television about this administration.” They didn’t specify any unfounded or outrageous allegations.

Of course, the current administration doesn’t know the difference between national security clearances and non-disclosure agreements, as though ISIS locations being targeted are as vital to national security as Trump’s hemorrhoids.

Later, to the Wall Street Journal, Trump stated that he pulled the clearance, and is thinking of pulling others because of the Russia investigation saying, it’s a “sham,” and “these people led it.” We know he doesn’t like to read, but could he at least read the official statement he supposedly wrote?

Other officials on the enemies list are former FBI Director James Comey (who was fired for the Russia investigation), James Clapper, the former director of national intelligence; former CIA Director Michael Hayden; former national security adviser Susan Rice; and Andrew McCabe, who served as Trump’s deputy FBI director until he was fired in March.

Also, on the list: fired FBI agent Peter Strzok, who was removed from the Russia investigation over anti-Trump text messages; former FBI lawyer Lisa Page, with whom Strzok exchanged messages; and senior Justice Department official Bruce Ohr, whom Trump recently accused on Twitter of “helping disgraced Christopher Steele ‘find dirt on Trump.'”

Michael Flynn fired for lying to the FBI and who was in secret contact with Russians, and Jared Kushner, who sought a back channel of communications with the Kremlin so the CIA couldn’t monitor them, still have their clearances.

The statement to revoke Brennan’s clearance was dated July 26, which shows they were holding it as a distraction for when something big hit the White House. Enter Omarosa. Unfortunately for the White House, Omarosa has more secret tapes, the latest revealing the Trump train had tried to pay her $15,000 a month to remain silent. Trump is using national security clearances for political leverage. When asked why they didn’t revoke the clearance last week, the White House cited Trump’s busy schedule, which consisted of golf in New Jersey and Trump rallies.

Republicans in Congress were quite pleased with this and are supporting the president. Apparently, they believe any criticism of the president is a threat to national security. Louisiana Senator John Kennedy even called Brennan a “butthead.” Republicans are forgetting they won’t hold power forever. Can you imagine how many kittens would come shooting out of their manginas if Obama had done this?

In an extraordinary maneuver, twelve former CIA chiefs issued a joint statement critical of Trump’s revocation of security clearances and in defense of Brennan. They said the accusations from Trump are “baseless” and this is “an attempt to stifle free speech.”

Brennan wrote in The New York Times that this was a move to end the Russia investigation and Trump’s claim of no collusion by Trump was “hogwash.” He also wrote, “The only question remaining is whether the collusion amounts to a “constituted criminally liable conspiracy.” I’m going to say yes.

William H McRaven, the retired Navy admiral who oversaw the raid that killed Osama bin Laden, called Trump’s moves “McCarthy-era tactics”, adding he would “consider it an honour” if Mr Trump revoked his clearance as well.

“Through your actions, you have embarrassed us in the eyes of our children, humiliated us on the world stage and, worst of all, divided us as a nation,” McRaven wrote in an opinion piece for The Washington Post.

Quite frankly I’m going to feel jilted if I never make Trump’s enemies list. For now, I’ll have to settle for his sycophants on social media calling me the “enemy of the American people.”

Trump, his sycophants, and those in Congress supporting his politicizing of security clearances are all buttheads.

Your support in the form of donations is appreciated. I am fully independent as I’m not employed by a newspaper or with a major syndicate (leaving one to be independent). It does take a lot of work to provide you with cartoons, columns, and videos almost every day (more than any other political cartoonist), and I don’t charge my clients much at all. If you can, please consider making a financial contribution to keep the fun flowing, or purchase a signed print for $40. Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!!

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Defected Deflect


During the 2016 presidential campaign, Trump supporter Rudy Giuliani said he knew the FBI planned to review more emails tied to Hillary Clinton before FBI Director James Comey publicly announced that was what they were doing. Basically, he claimed the FBI LEAKED information to the Trump campaign, and he was proud of it.

Giuliani said agents of the bureau were frustrated and outraged with how the investigation into Clinton’s emails was handled. Two days before Comey’s announcement, Rudy teased that Trump’s campaign had a “couple of surprises left.”

Giuliani told Fox & Friends, “I did nothing to get it out, I had no role in it. Did I hear about it? You’re darn right I heard about it, and I can’t even repeat the language that I heard from the former FBI agents.”

Now, the very same FBI that employed those “outraged” agents and had leaked to the Trump campaign is being attacked by Trump, Republicans in Congress, and the sycophants on Fox News. If you listen to these people you’d get the idea the FBI is a bunch of Birkenstock-pussy hat-wearing, Hillary voting, reeking of Patchouli funk bohemians.

Comey’s announcement that the FBI was reopening the case against her, and without revealing that Trump was also under investigation, is largely credited with helping Trump win the election. After he became president, Trump fired Comey for investigating his former National Security Advisor and friend Michael Flynn, his campaign’s ties to Russia, and also for not declaring his loyalty to Trump. There are repercussions for not eating the meatloaf.

Trump has accused the FBI, Robert Mueller, and his entire investigation of being full of partisan Democrats out to get him. He’s attacked the FBI’s Deputy Director Andrew McCabe, who is now expected to retire in 2018. He’s accused the Deputy Attorney General, who appointed Mueller, of being a Democrat, even though he’s a Republican who Trump appointed.

Any day now I half expect Trump to accuse his Attorney General, Jeff Sessions, who was the first sitting U.S. Senator to endorse Trump, of being a Democrat who supported Hillary Clinton.

Trump’s defense is going on offense. His legal team and Republicans are very afraid of what Mueller will find and present in court…and ultimately to Congress. While they have claimed the investigation is a hoax, a hoax doesn’t produce indictments and guilty pleas, which Muller has done.

Congress is trying to end their investigation, and the Republican in charge of the House’s effort, Devin Nunes, has done everything in his power to manipulate and obstruct it. It’s funny they claim the FBI is biased against Trump while the head of their investigation is a Trump supporter who served on his transition team.

The thing is, people do have political opinions. But, I fully expect professionals to be able to do their job, abide by their oaths, do what’s legal and in the name of justice, no matter what their personal opinions may be of Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton. The reason Republicans and Trump sycophants claim that can’t be done is because they can’t do it. Have you ever watched a House hearing on Benghazi? You had plenty of opportunities as there were a lot of them.

There are legitimate concerns that the reason Trump is trying to convince the public that those investigating him are crooked is so he won’t receive a backlash if he fires those investigating him, or he pardons those brought up on charges. At some point, Trump is going to trigger a Constitutional crisis, and he’s working to get away with it. If it goes unchecked, the Republicans will let him. For them it’s not just party over country, it’s Trump over country.

The only reason to continue the attacks on the FBI, the Department of Justice, and Robert Mueller is because the Russia investigation is not a hoax and there will be more charges. The closer the charges get to Donald Trump, the more they’ll attack the good guys.

Right now, keep your eyes on the bad guys. They’re not in the FBI, the Special Counsel’s office, or in the media. They’re in the White House.

Notes: Yeah, I’m working today. I have to work on the new year’s cover for one of my clients and I will be drawing another cartoon later tonight.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Furt Those Tweets


After Trump fired his National Security Adviser Michael Flynn (after being on the job for only 24 days), he tweeted that he fired him for lying to Vice President Mike Pence. On Saturday, a tweet went out from Trump’s Twitter account stating he fired Flynn, not just for lying to Pence, but also for lying to the FBI.

This is where it gets troublesome for the orange doofus. Former FBI Director James Comey testified that Trump asked him, after he fired Flynn, to drop the case investigating him. If Trump knew Flynn lied to the FBI, breaking the law, then Trump was obstructing justice.

Trump’s legal team isn’t very good, but they know this. His outside lawyer, John Dowd, bit the bullet and took the blame for the tweet, stating he wrote it, and not Trump. Was Dowd also the one who snorted a line then tweeted out “Covfefe” at 3:00 AM too?

Proving he only has shoddy legal advice, Dowd said the tweet isn’t admitting an obstruction of justice. He’s also arguing that the president cannot obstruct justice because he’s the nation’s chief law enforcement officer. This guy might wanna look into a little episode called Watergate. Trump’s lawyers have also assured him the investigation will be over by January.

Trump is on the record stating he fired Comey because it would end the investigation into his collusion with Russia. Trump told this to the Russian ambassador and the Foreign Minister in the Oval Office. He told the same thing to journalist Lester Holt. Now, Trump is saying he never asked Comey to “go easy” on Flynn. Since Trump has a track record of lying about everything, from birtherism to crowd sizes to pussy grabbing, are we to believe him or Comey?

Someone, I can’t remember who, said Trump’s downfall will be his Tweeting. I believe that. It’s his own big fat mouth that is the cause of there even being a Special Counsel investigation. This weekend, he has attacked the FBI on Twitter, and this morning, he used his account to finally officially endorse a suspected pedophile for the United States Senate. Last week, he tweeted out videos created by a racist and anti-Islamophobic group in Britain. It’s disgusting and very disappointing what Trump is doing to his office.

If Trump’s lawyer really did send out that tweet, then he should be fired. If Trump sent it out, he needs to be fired too.

Creative notes: Saturday morning, I was sitting in the breakfast nook at home with my friends and one of them asked if I’d rush out a cartoon on the Senates tax cut vote. I told her I’d wait until Sunday, as I wanted to take Saturday night off, and I’d still be one of the first cartoonists to cover it. I was wrong.

I started working on a cartoon on that subject at 3:00 AM. Around 5:30, I thought of this idea. Suddenly, the 51 grim reapers I was drawing weren’t as interesting to me anymore. I really liked this idea. So, I put it aside and did this.

I like Rocky Horror but I’m not super goofy about it. Back in the 80s,  some friends and I went to see it at the theater and wore trench coats and threw rice at the screen. My best friend tried to sneak an egg into the place. I don’t know who he was going to pelt with it, but a busky security woman grabbed him by the crotch, where he was hiding the egg, and crushed it. He had to spend two hours sitting in the theater with yolky genitals. I don’t know how she knew he had the egg down there. Oh yeah. I told her.

Tonight: I’m doing the Ask Me Anything thing at 8:00 PM EST. A lot of people have already left questions. You should too. It should be fun, interesting, amusing, and maybe a little educational. It’ll be a must read if you’re a cartoon geek. Eighty-nine people have RSVP. How cool is that? I hope you check it out. Please do so I’ll look important.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Blaming Obama


In the movie Step Brothers, Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly are two 39-year-old men with the maturity of eight-year-olds who still live at home. They ask the father for permission to convert their beds into bunk beds so they can have more space in their shared room for “activities.” The father thinks it’s a bad idea but says they’re grown men who don’t need his permission. Naturally, the bunk beds fall apart trapping one of the brothers underneath the top bunk with the other blaming the father for letting them do it.

That’s what a man-child does. He blames others for his transgressions and stupidity as he’s incapable of accepting responsibility. Donald Trump is a 70-year-old man-child who should still be living at home, not in the White House.

A political cartoonist does his or her best work when they’re angry. It’s really hard to get angry every single day. At the most, politicians just really annoy me. This time, I’m pretty pissed off.

Donald Trump has now decided his best defense against accusations that he colluded with Russia to win the presidential election is to blame his predecessor, Barack Obama. Do what now? How does this work exactly when you blame someone for something you previously said didn’t exist? This is the sort of nonsense you’d think only Kellyanne Conway could attempt to explain. But, no. There are plenty of Trump defenders who will believe anything Trumpelstiltskin says.

Every president blames his predecessor for something, especially if they’re from opposing parties. Obama often blamed Bush for the crappy economy he inherited. Usually, when a president blames a previous president, there’s at least a basis of truth to it. George W. Bush did leave Obama a shitty economy and Republicans spent eight years complaining how Obama conducted the worst recovery ever. Basically, Republicans messed everything up and bitched how the Democrat was taking too long to clean it.

Trump not only blames Obama for bad stuff, he takes credit for the good Obama did. He’s taken credit for jobs Obama has saved. He’s taken credit for the stock market which has continued its upswing that started way before Trump took office. He’s taking credit for job numbers that he once claimed were fake while he was a candidate. He’s taking credit for the current economy, even though at this very moment we’re still in Obama’s fiscal year. But when it comes to blaming, Trump doesn’t even use a grain of truth. He flat out makes shit up.

Trump accused Obama of wiretapping the phones in Trump Tower. If you’re a Trump supporter you believe that despite it being a total lie. Now Trump is blaming Obama for Russia’s hacking into our presidential election.

Obama and our intelligence networks were aware of Putin ordering his agents to corrupt our election, the attempts to destabilize our democracy, and the effort to throw the election to Donald Trump. A lot of the information remained classified until after the election, but it was public knowledge way before November what the Russians were up to. I remember this. I drew a lot of cartoons about it. I remember Donald Trump denying it was happening. 2016 was not a figment of my imagination though it was kind of a nightmare.

Obama was in a catch-22 with how to handle the situation. He could sit back and let the election play out or make big bold statements and enact sanctions. That would have had Donald Trump, who was screaming at the time that the election was “rigged,” accuse Obama of using government resources to sway the election toward Hillary Clinton.

Obama publicly told Russian President Vladimir Putin to “knock it off.” He waited until after the election to enact sanctions, shut down two Russian compounds (one in Maryland, the other in New York). He’s been fairly criticized for his handling of the situation, but I don’t think he had any winning options.

If President Obama had done more and Clinton had won the election, Trump and Republicans (some who knew of the hacking, but remained silent) would still be screaming that the Democrats stole the election. If Trump had won despite Obama’s involvement (which I think would have happened anyway because Trump voters don’t work with facts or substance), we’d still be where we are now. Now is a situation where Obama didn’t want to give the impression of messing with the election and he’s being accused by Trump of colluding with Russia. Yes, seriously.

Now keep in mind that after Trump secured the nomination, he was provided the same intelligence briefings the president was receiving. Despite this fact, Trump continued to deny there was an attempt by Russia to hack our election. He said it could be China or some fat guy sitting on his bed. A closer guess would have been a fat guy in a penthouse on 5th Avenue.

Not only was Trump aware what the Russians were doing (as we all were), he asked Russia to release Hillary Clinton’s emails. On July 26 of last year, five days AFTER the Republican convention where Trump was awarded his party’s nomination, he said “I will tell you this, Russia: If you’re listening, I hope you’re able to find the 30,000 emails that are missing. I think you will probably be rewarded mightily by our press.” A few months later he went even further. In October 2016 (in case you’re a Trump voter, that’s AFTER July), Donald Trump was at a campaign event and reading leaks of emails from the Democratic National Committee and the Clinton Campaign when he said: “I love Wikileaks.” 

Obama didn’t ask Russia to hack and release emails. Obama didn’t shout that he loved Wikileaks.

If not doing enough to stop the hacking is colluding, then egging them on, using the information, and enabling the hostile foreign power tampering with our election is definitely colluding. Denying the actions is even further collusion, which is what Trump did throughout the election and continued after he was inaugurated.

Now Trump is finally admitting that Russia hacked our election, though he’s blaming Obama. What’s really hard to understand is how can the hacking story be a “hoax” and “fake news” yet still be Obama’s fault? Trump and his supporters will try to have it both ways as it takes an actual brain to understand that strategy doesn’t work. So expect Conway to be on CNN around 9:00 a.m. to explain it for us. I have aspirin.

Here’s another piece of logic that Trump supporters won’t understand: If Obama’s inaction is proof of collusion, then Trump is guilty too. Since he has become president, Trump has denied the hacking was done by Russians and hasn’t done anything to punish Russia or to prevent future hacking attempts. According to former FBI director James Comey, Trump never asked about or discussed how to protect us in the future. He was only concerned about having the investigation into Michael Flynn dropped, the pee tapes, and for Comey and several others to make public statements that he was personally not under investigation. In addition to this, he continued to deny the hacking attempts while personally relaying classified information provided by an ally to the Russians. And yet Obama is the one who colluded with the Russians.

What’s next? Will Trump blame Obama for his two divorces and the reason why his two sons are idiots who look like Beavis and Butt-Head?

The president takes an oath where he swears he will protect us from all enemies, foreign and domestic. Donald Trump refuses to acknowledge we’ve been attacked, or even who our enemies are, despite being the recipient of the best intelligence network in the world.

That doesn’t just annoy me. That seriously pisses me off.

It’s really hard being a one-man syndicate when editors (who receive death threats from Trump supporters) are afraid of cartoons with opinions, while I’m also competing against other syndicates with dozens of cartoonists (who offer lots of right-wing cartoons and the kind without any opinions). So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $50 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.



A smart man would learn after his “I got tapes” bluff doesn’t work with a writer, that it won’t work with the director of the FBI. Donald Trump is not a smart man.

In a deposition several years ago, Trump was asked about telling people he was taping them when he wasn’t. He kinda sorta came clean with “I might have said that.”

Now Trump has come clean that he did not tape his conversations with former FBI director James Comey, though he speculated that maybe someone else may have taped them, perhaps from bugging. The guy really has a hard time admitting when he’s wrong (which is constantly). Bad thing is, this time he knew he was wrong. And what’s with the paranoia that he’s constantly being bugged? Is Trump going to spend the next four years in a perpetual state of whining and acting like a victimized baby?

Trump let the lie hang for 41 days that he may have taped Comey. His sycophants point out that Trump said Comey better “hope” there aren’t any tapes. Technically, that’s not a lie, but when you let it hang for 41 days, ignore the question when the press asks you repeatedly, and you send your staff out to defend the dumb-ass tweet, you turn it into a lie.

Trump’s staffers and lawyers tell us to ignore his tweets, but take him at his word as the president of the United States of America. So is he not president when he’s tweeting? Are we supposed to accept that he’s a 70-year-old toddler that isn’t old enough yet to have his own cell phone? It brings us back to litigating the election by asking again: “How did a man too stupid to be president become president?” That in itself is worthy of an investigation.

But he is the president and when he took the oath to become president he swore to defend our nation from all attacks, foreign and domestic. How can he defend us when he refuses to acknowledge an attack?

Trump and his supporters love to say there’s no evidence of a collusion between himself and/or his campaign with Russia, or obstruction of justice. If that’s the case, then why does he keep lying and making shit up?

Trump’s lawyers have to be relieved that the tapes don’t exist. I mean, yeah, Trump shot his credibility down even further, but at least he didn’t create even more evidence that he’s attempting to manipulate an investigation.

I can’t decide if the funniest part of all this is that after making the tape claim, Trump and his people act all bewildered that anyone wants to talk about it. It’s like his birther claim. He peddles it for five years and then he doesn’t want to talk about it, and he definitely never acknowledges he was wrong or just making shit up.

It’s also knee-slapping hilarious that Trump’s tape tweet is what got the Special Counsel in business. That’s some seriously stupid-ass bluffing right there. This guy is seriously leading our nation and toting around the nuclear football? Oh, that’s funny in a terrifying way. I can’t wait to watch Trump defenders explain this as either a lie or a seriously stupid, moronic bluff. It has to be one of the two, if not both. It’s both.

Or maybe the funniest part is that the day Trump admits the tape claim was a lie, he starts questioning Special Counsel Robert Mueller’s integrity. Seriously. He’s doing that with Comey and now he’s pulling it on Mueller (perhaps so when he fires Mueller he can say that he didn’t trust him).

But let’s question Mueller and Comey’s integrity. I mean they did lie about Obama’s birthplace, planted the lie that Obama wiretapped Trump Tower, that millions of illegal votes were cast for Hillary Clinton, that Trump has the largest electoral victory in modern history, or that the clouds parted and the rain stopped during Trump’s inauguration speech. Oh, wait. Those were Trump lies.

Here’s the thing: Trump has lied again, and again, and again, and again, etc. He’s even lied about the freaking weather. And guess what.

We have it all on tape.

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Lawyering Up


Even though Donald Trump has Marc Kasowitz as his personal attorney, criminal defense isn’t really his thing. His thing is losing cases where Trump sues someone for saying he’s not as rich as he claims, and settling with people who were scammed by Trump University. Wisely, Trump has been searching for a lawyer with criminal defense experience.

And being wise in return, most criminal defense lawyers in Washington have been saying “no thank you.” Why wouldn’t lawyers want to defend a very rich president? For starters, he often doesn’t pay his legal fees. In fact, lawyers who defended Trump in lawsuits from contractors suing him for nonpayment, have turned around to sue Trump for nonpayment. It’s not like those lawyers weren’t warned.

Another reason is that Donald Trump is the worst client in the world.

In the film The People Vs. Larry Flynt, Flynt, played by Woody Harrelson, tells his lawyer, “I’m your dream client. I’m the most fun, I’m rich, and I’m always in trouble”. Trump too, is rich and always in trouble, but he’s not as much fun.

Trump’s biggest problem as a legal client is, he doesn’t shut up. It’s like having a client accused of murder who tweets out “I am innocent, and didn’t kill him by striking a blow to the head with an ax. An ax with a blue handle anyone can purchase at Walmart for $13.95 at 3:00 a.m., $11.95 with a Sunday coupon.”

Trump is in his current situation because of his big mouth, or in his case, Twitter. His “better hope it wasn’t taped” tweet is why a special counsel was appointed. The man claimed he fired James Comey because of his handling of the FBI’s Hillary Clinton investigation, and then tells the Russians in the Oval Office that he did it to kill the investigation into his dealings with Russia. Just in case that wasn’t recorded, he told NBC’s Lester Holt the same thing, which was recorded. Trump has even pressured several intelligence officials to interfere in the investigations. He upped the ante of the investigation of Russian meddling to include obstruction of justice.

If bragging about doing the crime isn’t enough, the man is attacking those who are investigating him. It’s a huge surprise he hasn’t left a bag of flaming dog doo on Robert Mueller’s doorstep…yet. His aides and friends are even reporting that he’s considering further obstructions by firing Mueller.

Kasowitz has advised many in the White House that they don’t need to hire personal attorneys yet. Taking Kasowitz’s experience and legal wisdom into account, most of those people are ignoring that advice.

Vice President Mike Pence has hired a personal lawyer. He’s even started a Mike Pence super PAC. There’s only two reasons for this PAC and those are, either to pay for the lawyer or Pence believes he’ll be running for president in 2020. Perhaps you can contribute to the Mike Pence legal defense fund. Is there a line? You think he would have saved a few bucks from selling soul.

Even the lawyers Trump currently has (that came with Kasowitz) are hiring lawyers. A lot of people are saying it’s normal for presidents and those close to him to be hiring personal lawyers. It is totally normal…in Trump world. Trump world includes a president who accused his predecessor or bugging his office and once bragged during a debate about his supposedly large penis.

But there is hope for Trump as it’s been reported he has found a D.C. lawyer with experience in criminal defense to advise his case. No, not the guy who defended the D.C. Madam (he wouldn’t return Trump’s calls).

Bill Cosby’s current sexual assault trial is probably going to end with a hung jury. Trump’s case is going to be much more difficult to defend because he’s a client who won’t shut up.

I hope for his new attorney’s sake that he was paid in advance. If he loses, It’ll probably be left in a flaming bag on his doorstep.

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