North Carolina

Carolina Cheaters


cjones12102018

Republicans love to talk about voter fraud. They can’t shut up about it. Never mind that there were only four documented cases of it in 2016, they can’t stop yapping. They use it as a distraction, a fear tactic, and an excuse for when they lose, but when a case of it is actually discovered, Republicans are silent. Why is that? Because, when it does happen it’s usually committed by…wait for it…REPUBLICANS!!!

A Republican won North Carolina’s Ninth Congressional District, which was not a huge surprise. Thanks to gerrymandering, Republicans won ten of that state’s 13 congressional districts despite Democrats receiving 50% of the vote (are you getting tired of that shit yet?). But, that advantage isn’t good enough for some members of the GOP.

The state has decided to delay certification of the results in that district’s election amid allegations of an effort to fill in or discard the absentee ballots of Democratic voters.

Republican Mark Harris, who beat incumbent Robert Pittenger in the primary, leads Democrat Dan McCready in the race by only 905 votes (out of around two hundred and eighty thousand cast).

The state is investigating allegations that an operative for Harris (the Republican) paid people to go door-to-door and collect absentee ballots. In Bladen and Robeson counties, Harris won an unusually high share of mail-in absentee-ballot votes. Bladen was the only county where the Republican prevailed in the mail-in-absentee vote, winning sixty-one percent of the votes from mail-in ballots, despite registered Republicans accounting for only nineteen percent of the county’s returned absentee ballots. The only way that was possible was for Harris to win not only all of the Republican ballots but almost every single mail-in vote from Independents, plus a significant number of votes from crossover Democrats. If you’re a Republican, there’s nothing fishy to this.

Also, in those two counties, about forty percent and sixty-two percent, respectively, of requested mail-in absentee ballots were never turned in. Not surprising at all, In Robeson County, seventy-five percent of the absentee ballots requested by African-Americans and sixty-nine percent of those requested by Native Americans were never received by the state. People don’t normally request absentee ballots to not turn them in. Did they think it was the form for Columbia House (you millennials won’t get that)?

Harris says the state should go ahead and certify his victory while they’re investigating because there aren’t enough missing ballots to change the outcome of the election. But, about sixteen hundred mail-in absentee ballots were requested in the two counties and not returned, in a race decided by fewer than a thousand votes (In case you’re a Republican, 1,000 is less than 1,600). Harris says it’s a disservice to the state not to go ahead and seat him, ignoring the disservice of stealing the election.

Now, there are also questions about the results of the Republican primary. Harris may have even cheated his fellow Republican.

Republicans cheat. They have a Supreme Court that allows PACS to finance campaigns basically without any limits. They gerrymander districts which let Republicans pick their voters instead of the other way around. They suppress votes of minorities when they’re not busy kicking them off the voter rolls. They get help from Russian hackers. And, when they still lose, they use their lame-duck sessions to strip power from the incoming Democrats. Now, they’re literally taking ballots out of Democratic voters’ hands and throwing them away.

The good news is the House of Representatives, which will be controlled by Democrats in January, can refuse to seat Harris. There are calls for a new election in the Ninth District, and there should be, and maybe even another Republican primary.

Voters should be represented by the people they actually vote for, and Republicans should stop taking that away from them.

This week, you’ve probably heard Republicans talk more about French socialism than North Carolina voter fraud.

Side note: Remember the movie The Lost World? I was always bothered by the Tyrannosaurus eating the dog in San Diego. He also ate the screenwriter outside of a Blockbuster, but that’s OK because that guy probably wrote for the dog to die (I bet he was also responsible for the Japanese tourists running from the T-Rex as if it was Godzilla. Yeah, eat that guy). The poor dog was chained to his dog house…in a fenced yard. People, if you can’t have a dog without chaining him where he can’t escape being eaten by dinosaurs, then you don’t deserve to own a dog.

I liked the way the black-and-white version turned out, so I’m gonna let you see that too.

cjones12102018

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Advertisements

Carolina Crybabies


cjones12202016

“Political opposition is a normal part of democracy. Stripping your opponent of power is a normal part of fascism.” -Jennifer Victor. Associate professor at George Mason University.

Fascism seems to be all the rage with Republicans lately. While Donald Trump wants to limit press freedoms, defile the Constitution, and bully anyone who dares criticize him, the Grumpy McGrumpersons and sore losers who comprise the Republican party in North Carolina are literally stripping powers from their next governor. This isn’t just a state fight, this is national. The Resistance is especially important as the GOP is showing other states, and the future Trump administration, how to dismantle democracy and strip the rights away from any opposition.

Why would the North Carolina legislature want to strip power from their next governor? Oh yeah. It’s because, Roy Cooper the incoming governor and Mr. Rogers lookalike, is a Democrat and the Republicans want to make every a bad day in the neighborhood. They’re upset he won and he’s not even a black guy. It’s kinda like when the U.S. Senate says they’re not going to hold hearings or vote on Obama’s Supreme Court nominee because it’s not fair he’s still president while that opening occurred, and dammit, they just don’t want to. It’s called being a sore loser.

While the U.S. Senate ignores the law, the N.C. Legislature is rewriting them. They’re very upset that despite Trump winning their state, their Republican governor, Pat McCrory, lost his re-election bid to Mr. Rogers, er, Cooper. In fact, they didn’t even want to acknowledge they lost the governor’s mansion and spent weeks trying to fight the election results. The GOP is seriously bummed about losing their homophobic governor who was a champion of protecting bathrooms from nobody. Rewriting the laws of the executive branch after the election because you don’t like the winner is just one step short of a coup.

The state legislature is really powerful in North Carolina. They have the numbers required to be veto-proof despite the state not being solid red. North Carolina might be the best example of a divided nation as her rural areas are in a tug of war with the cities (where the educated people live) over political influence. Obama won the state in 2008. Romney won in 2012 and Trump won in 2016. Each of those were squeakers.

Did I mention the legislature is powerful? The Legislature called a special session, as if a Democrat being elected is an emergency. In most states the governor is the one who calls special sessions (they cost money).

So what are they taking away from their next governor? They are limiting the number of employees the governor can hire (down from 1,500 to 425), how many people he can appoint to the State Board of Elections, and strips the governor of his ability to name members of the boards of state universities. They also changed the state court system, making it more difficult for the losers of some superior court cases to appeal directly to the Democratic-controlled Supreme Court. Perhaps the biggest change is that the governor’s cabinet appointees now have to be approved by the State Senate. Being governor in North Carolina is like being married. You can do whatever you want, as long as your wife says it’s OK.

The Republicans are stacking the decks with their troglodytes so they won’t lose influence as the state continues to turn blue. They’re taking gerrymandering to an all new level. They are true pioneers and innovators when it comes to partisanship, hate, and bigotry. It’s kinda like they’re legalizing corruption.

Of course the out-going governor, McCrory, has signed most of the new laws (so far). That’s kinda like spray painting on all the walls and taking dumps in the closets before you move out of a rental property. Let the next tenant find those surprises. Mr. Cooper might wanna check those after he moves in.

There have been protests at the state capitol and many people have been arrested despite there not being any violence. Most of them were arrested for knocking on the door of the viewing gallery in the Capitol building.

North Carolina Republicans are shoving these changes down their constituents’ throats and they don’t even want them to have the right to complain about it.

It’s the normal part of fascism.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, etc.. The starving cartoonist appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Carolina Crying


cjones09142016

Though the NCAA and other organizations are boycotting North Carolina for their homophobic bathroom law that discriminates, at least Donald Trump still visited the state to hold a rally…where one of his supporters assaulted a 69-year-old woman. Nah, those people aren’t deplorable at all.

North Carolina governor Pat McCrory’s legacy will include losing his state million of dollars in tourism money because of his and the legislature’s bigotry of crafting a law that curbs the rights of gay and transgender people. Some would say enacting a law out of a fear of something that never happens is, well, deplorable.

Now basketball crazy North Carolina won’t have any of the NCAA’s postseason run through the state. Neither will championships in baseball, lacrosse, golf, soccer and tennis that were scheduled. With Duke, North Carolina, North Carolina State, and Wake Forest, the state has hosted more NCAA tournament games than any other state. They won’t host any this year thanks to governor McCrory.

I’m sorry things are so shaky with NC this year as they have a hate law, condemnation of the nation, McCrory is still in office, no postseason basketball, referees aren’t calling fouls for each time Cam Newton takes a hit to the head, and guys, your vinegar-based barbecue sucks. Someone had to break it to you.

Hollywood, the N.B.A., and musicians led by The Boss Bruce Springsteen has punished the state for it’s discrimination and hatred. Proponents of the law say they’re being demanded to accept a gay agenda. No. You’re being demanded not to discriminate. Treating human beings like human beings is not accepting a gay agenda. It’s accepting civility. Giving people the same rights you have is not special treatment. Special treatment is not taxing churches.

McCrory is running for reelection this year and he’s in a tight race. It may not help that he has a hate law as his running mate and a hate-filled candidate in Donald Trump on the ballot with him.

My cartooning colleagues in the Association of American Editorial Cartoonists are not boycotting the state and will hold their annual convention in Durham in a week or so. Their plans were already set in motion when the hate law was enacted and since rounding up political cartoonists is like herding cats, it was too late to change the venue. Many of the more liberal cartoonists will use the opportunity to mock the state’s hate law and if they have any taste, the barbecue. The more conservative members who attend will probably grumble in a corner somewhere and draw the exact same cartoon because that’s pretty much what they do on a daily basis anyway.

Unfortunately I won’t be attending the convention, not out of any protest but because I’m really busy and I’m poor. I do wish my colleagues to have a great convention with a massive turnout.

Hopefully there won’t be any assaults with 69-year-old ladies. I’d hate for any of my colleagues to get beaten up.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

What’s In A Name?


cjones05142016

I got this idea a couple days ago but I held off on drawing it as I had already done a bathroom cartoon this week. I stored the idea in a folder I have for concepts I need to hold off on. Some of the ideas come to life while most wither away into obscurity. Some of the ideas get trashed as I have second thoughts on their quality or maybe for another reason. The folder is full of Trump ideas most of which I’ll never draw.

On Friday the Obama administration told public schools across the U.S. to let transgender students use the bathrooms and locker rooms that match their gender identity. Several states, such as North Carolina, Arkansas, Mississippi, Kentucky, and Texas are promptly freaking out.

The bullies say the measure is needed to protect women and children from sexual predators. The Justice Department and others argue the threat is practically nonexistent and the law discriminatory. This has become the Civil Rights issue of the day. Once again the conservatives are on the wrong side.

These conservatives would rather bully, intimidate, and punish kids and others over a nonexistent threat. This is a perfect example of the politics of fear. It’s easier to stoke the fears of the lower informed than to solve actual problems. It works as the more conservative voters are too distracted by the fear of men in dresses entering the little girls room than to ask politicians about funding for education and transportation.

The irony here is that the states are complaining about federal government overreach while the state of North Carolina tells local municipalities that they can’t enact tolerant laws. Conservatives are deaf to irony.

It seems the only jobs Republicans will create are for bathroom police. It’s funny they never lobbied for surveillance of churches where pedophilia has actually taken place.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

North Carolina Educated


cjones05102016

I believe in this time of such turmoil over transgenders in North Carolina’s public restrooms we should all heed the words of North Carolinian Petey Pablo who sang “North Carolina! C’mon and raise up. Take your shirt off, twist it ’round yo head. Spin it like a helicopter.”

Actually, that doesn’t have anything to do with this. I’m just screwing with you.

Attorney General Loretta Lynch gave North Carolina a Monday deadline to promise not to enforce their discrimination law that targets transgenders use of public restrooms. The state asked for more time and Lynch offered a week if they would admit the law was discriminatory. The the state said no and promptly sued. The federal government is counter suing.

The Justice department claims the law violates the Civil Rights Act and that it is “state-sanctioned discrimination” against transgender people.

Pat McCrory, governor of North Carolina, said he has a different interpretation of federal law than the federal government. OK, then. See you in court. It’s going to be very expensive.

The Obama administration is threatening to pull education funding from the state which comes to $4.3 billion. The governor, who is backing a law bullying transgenders, says the feds are being bullies. Go figure.

Lynch, who like Petey, is from North Carolina said states should not be in the business of “legislating identity” and force transgender people to not be who they are. She compared this fight to others over civil rights and human dignity. So many have forgotten the battles over the Jim Crow laws that came after the Emancipation Proclamation; the widespread resistance to implement the 1954 Supreme Court ruling that found segregated schools unconstitutional; and the state laws that prevented same-sex couples from marrying in much of the country until last year. The people who fought for change were on the right side of history. The people supporting this very stupid, idiotic, law in North Carolina are on the wrong side.

When people support legislation today that promotes discrimination and hatred, they show which side of the line they would have stood during the 1960’s.

Loretty Lynch laid down the law Monday with grace, class, and dignity, something the Republican leaders in North Carolina seriously lack. Do you remember when Republicans were ecstatic over Eric Holder leaving the Department of Justice?

They should just toss this law and spin it around their heads like a helicopter.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

A Target On Target


cjones05022016

You know there’s gonna be that one person who sees this cartoon and believes it’s encouraging conservatives to hate on Target, transgenders, and that I’m some ultra-creepy-conservative. People like that never look at your body of work.

Target, the department store, will not monitor their restrooms. They will not scapegoat transgenders or really anyone. Basically there will not be any toilet Nazis at Target. In response to this conservatives have mounted a massive boycott on Target. The likes of this boycott hasn’t been seen since these same groups boycotted the Catholic church, where children were actually molested. I made that last part up. They never boycotted anyplace where children were actually molested.

Your child stands a greater chance of being molested in school, church, in your own home, than in a public restroom.

It’s also bizarre that these same conservatives who want laws and signs barring one gender from the other genders’ restroom, argue that gun laws and signs don’t work. If a gun owner sees a sign at Chipotle barring guns, he’s just going to ignore it and walk in there anyway. If a pervert wakes up with the idea of going to Target and enter the wrong bathroom just to go perverting around will, stop upon seeing the sign and say “dammit. I really wanted to go in the women’s restroom with my penis but there’s a sign prohibiting it. Damn again!”?

I’m going to repeat an argument I made last time I covered this issue: Don’t let your small child enter a public restroom alone. But guess what. North Carolina might have made that bit of parenting illegal. If you’re a father and your small, very young, daughter needs to use a public restroom then you would typically take her into a stall in the men’s room. According to North Carolina, that’s illegal now. Good job, North Carolina.

I have a suggestion for conservatives and liberals alike. Stop worrying about public restrooms. Transgenders have been using whichever restroom they felt suited them ever since public restrooms came into existence. You’ve shared them before and didn’t realize it. Stop making laws about it. Stop making policies about it. Have a men’s room. Have a women’s room. Let people go about and do their business without being scapegoated for a problem that doesn’t exist.

Stop being a bully and worrying about things that never happen.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

 

Republican Pedophile


cjones04152016

Back in the late 90’s during the Clinton administration Republicans spent over $70 million investigating a land transaction the president was involved with while he was governor of Arkansas. Republicans, who are always champions of limited government spending, only uncovered a consensual sex act between Clinton and an intern, so they impeached him and slut shamed her.

Unfortunately for them their Speaker of the House at the time was Newt Gingrich, who had his own sexual infractions, so he resigned to be replaced by Bob Livingston, who also had sexual transgressions. How are uptight Republicans supposed to impeach a guy for sex when their leaders are also bedroom bad guys? They figured it out by making a pedophile their Speaker.

Dennis Hastert was a high school wrestling coach before he went to Congress. During that time he was a pedophile. I’m supposed to write “accused” but screw that. He’s a pedophile. He put a Lazyboy recliner in the boys shower. That’s some serious commitment to watching young boys get naked and lathered up. You would think the barcalounger in the shower would have raised suspicions and concerns. Hell, a stool should have raised awareness or how about the coach even hanging out in the shower with the boys?

Hastert is accused of molesting five boys while he was a coach. His defense team says all he did was a “groin rub” to one of the boys. OK yeah, all is forgiven because rubbing a young boy’s groin regions is perfectly understandable, right? After that Denny massaged the young boy’s back and slept in the same bed. What? The claim is the teen had a groin pull so Hastert massaged it. Sounds like his groin was pulled alright.

So Republicans, those champions of saving us from sex freaks, are writing legislation bullying and shaming transgenders over what bathrooms they use in public. These Republicans are about as good with government staying out of our private lives as they are with fiscal matters.

Republicans lead Democrats 10-1 when it comes to sex scandals. Maybe they should stop worrying about what other people are doing in their private lives. They could spend the free time studying rape and understanding that definition.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!