Mueller Investigation

RAMa Lama Ding Dongs

cjones01272019

The Saints got robbed.

With 1:45 left in the fourth quarter, and the Saints on the Rams’ 13-yard line, tied 20-20, facing third-and-10 in the NFC Championship, the Saints got robbed. If the Saints had gotten a first down on the play, they could have drained the time left on the clock, kick a chip-shot field goal, and leave the Rams with very little time to march down the field and tie the game. What happened was the Saints got robbed.

A Rams player, Nickell Robey-Coleman committed pass interference on the Saints’ Tommylee Lewis. The referees didn’t see it, despite one of them staring right at it. The entire universe agrees there was a blown call. Even the Rams defensive back, Lewis, admitted he committed pass interference. Lewis said that he “whacked his ass” to save a touchdown. It worked.

Now, in what may have been Drew Brees’ last chance to go to the Super Bowl, has been stolen. The Saints had the best regular-season record in the NFL this season, but they’ll be watching the Super Bowl from home.

A Louisiana eye doctor (in case you’re a Republican, New Orleans is in Louisiana) is offering free eye exams to NFL referees. Maybe he should also offer those to Trump supporters.

Trump supporters believe Donald Trump is doing a great job, he’s intelligent, has their best interest as his top priority, and that he’s a classy guy. Most of all, they don’t believe there has been any collusion between his campaign and Russia to win the 2016 presidential election. They don’t believe Putin is whacking anyone’s ass.

Never mind that meeting in Trump Tower with Russians, or at least 16 members of Trump’s campaign had contacts with Russians (and the number keeps rising), or Trump publicly asked them to hack Hillary Clinton’s campaign, or his campaign chairman was giving internal campaign polling data to friends of the Kremlin, the Trumpanzees will tell you they don’t see any evidence.

They don’t see that Trump has never criticized Vladimir Putin, yet he’ll go after Justin Trudeau over cheese prices. They don’t see that Trump wants to remove sanctions against Russia. They didn’t see Trump kissing Putin’s ass in Helsinki (if you’re a Republican, that’s in Finland). They didn’t see Trump taking Putin’s word over his intelligence agencies. They don’t see Trump handing Syria to Putin. They don’t see Trump threatening to pull out of NATO, which is Putin’s greatest wet dream. They don’t see that the FBI was investigating Trump as a threat to our national security and that he may be a Russian asset.

I’m a Saints fan, but I’m a bigger fan of my country. It makes me sad the Saints won’t be in the Super Bowl, but it’s probably not a threat to national security, even with the New England Patriots in the game…again (which was another game full of iffy calls). But, having Trump steal an election with the help of Vladimir Putin is dangerous to our democracy and national security.

Trump sycophants are like Patriot fans. They don’t see Trump’s deflated balls. But, while the refs may need eye exams, Trump supporters need their eyes and brains examined.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

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Embrace The Corruption

cjones11092018

For Donald Trump, the best way to end a probe into corruption is to engage in more corruption.

I published a cartoon September 25, predicting that Sessions would be fired right after the midterms. I re-shared it on social media to boast about my amazing abilities to predict the political future, and a lot of my readers complimented me on it too. But to be honest, it didn’t take the Amazing Kreskin or Miss Cleo to see this one coming. I was only half-right as Rod Rosenstein wasn’t fired, at least not yet. I was also off in believing Andrew Gillum had Florida, so I won’t be off to Vegas for a career in making wagers.

Trump didn’t have to fire Rosenstein as he put in a lackey to temporarily run the Justice Department. Typically, the Deputy Attorney General would be the interim director, but Trump made Sessions’ chief-of-staff, Matt Whitaker, the new head which directly puts him in charge of the Special Counsel’s investigation into the Russian investigation and Trump’s obstruction of justice.

As we have all come to know too well, Trump likes lackeys. He’s been upset with Sessions ever since he recused himself from the Russia investigation, despite it being the right thing to do. Trump said more than once that Sessions should have told him beforehand that he’d recuse himself so Trump could have hired someone else. That’s Trump admitting that any Attorney General should have seen he would come under investigation. That’s another thing you didn’t have to be Miss Cleo to see coming.

Trump wants someone in charge at Justice who will kiss his ring, pay homage, join the cult, and want the embrace. Trump gave a press conference yesterday blaming Republicans who lost their races on their refusal to embrace him. He even called them out by name, refusing to realize that each of the losses was his fault.

Whitaker wants the embrace. He’s written more than once and spoken on cable news about obstructing Robert Mueller’s investigation. He’s speculated about cutting Mueller’s funding and even accused him of “crossing a red line,” despite him not knowing where any lines are. The White House considered Whitaker their “eyes and ears” of the Justice Department, an agency they consider hostile toward Trump. Whitaker has referred to the investigation as a “lynch mob.”

Whitaker was also the campaign manager for Sam Clovis’ campaign for Iowa State Treasurer, who went on to work on the Trump campaign which made him a witness in the Russia investigation. Now, Whitaker is overseeing the Russia investigation where he can also inform Trump what Mueller is doing. Whitaker has conflicts of interest and needs to recuse himself. This is how you build an oligarchy.

Thankfully, the House will be led by Democrats who can issue subpoenas into Trump’s obstruction, collusion, corruption, and everything else shady he’s been doing. The House will now do the job the Republicans should have been doing. Trump lost Devin Nunes leading the Intelligence Committee, who would run to the White House to share committee information with Trump and leak memos to the press. But, Trump has a new Nunes to temporarily lead the Justice Department.

I wouldn’t trust Whitaker to manage a Taco Bell less enough the Justice Department.  The integrity of Mueller’s investigation must remain intact, but we know Trump and his sycophants don’t do integrity.

Be Complicit
What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Logic From Rudy

cjones08042018

Rudy Giuliani has taken on the Trump talking point that collusion is not a crime. This means he, like many other Republicans and Trump sycophants, are OK with treason, cooperating with a hostile foreign government to gain the presidency through illicit means.

Collusion by itself is not a crime, but collusion doesn’t come alone. It comes with conspiracy and all sorts of campaign violations, which are illegal. It also makes the perpetrator indebted to the sources he colluded with. If Trump colluded with Russia, he should resign. If he won’t resign, he should be impeached.

By pushing the argument that collusion is not a crime, Rudy is giving the impression something really bad is about to be revealed. He mentioned a second meeting that nobody asked about, that it didn’t happen, and that Trump was not at the second meeting that didn’t happen. This means there was a second meeting. It was probably one before the meeting with Russians where members of the Trump campaign, and perhaps Trump himself, planned strategy for their meeting with Russians in Trump Tower.

Last May, Rudy vouched for Trump’s former lawyer, Michael Cohen’s honesty and integrity. Now, he says the guy is a liar. Obviously, Trump only hires pathological liars for legal representation.

He also hires idiots.

Your support in the form of donations is appreciated. I am fully independent as I’m not employed by a newspaper or with a major syndicate (leaving one to be independent). It does take a lot of work to provide you with cartoons, columns, and videos almost every day (more than any other political cartoonist), and I don’t charge my clients much at all. If you can, please consider making a financial contribution to keep the fun flowing, or purchase a signed print for $40. Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!!

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Spending Time With Daddy

cjones07302018

Last night’s nightly breaking Trump news consisted of Michael Cohen revealing that Donald Trump knew beforehand of Russian spies visiting Trump Tower to dish stolen dirt on Hillary Clinton. The Russians met with Donald Trump Jr., then campaign manager and current jail occupant Paul Manafort and Jared Kushner before the election.

Why is this important? Trump has denied any knowledge that meeting ever took place. He claims he didn’t know about it despite being just one floor up in the same building until the press reported it. Donald Trump Jr. has made the same claim. Despite his supposed ignorance of the meeting, Trump dictated Jr’s statement on it to the press while flying home from his first meeting to insult NATO. Later, he lied about that.

This is complicated. Right now it’s unproven and it may come down to he said, he said, or in this case, douchebag said, douchebag said. What are the legal implications if it’s proven? For Trump, if he knew the information was stolen then he’s part of a conspiracy. If he only knew of the meeting but not that the material was stolen, then he’s an accessory. The same goes for Junior who also testified before the Senate that his father had no knowledge of the meeting.

Rudy Giuliani was quick to pounce with the defense that Cohen is a liar and without any credibility. He said Cohen has lied all his life. Rudy is a former prosecutor who has used liars and all sorts of gangsters without credibility as witnesses to put other gangsters in prison. Previously, he said Cohen should cooperate with the government as long as he tells the truth. Rudy never had a problem with Cohen’s word when he liked his words, whether they were truthful or not.

Rudy’s sanity has been questioned lately, and for good reason. His best defense of Donald Trump is that someone else is a liar without credibility? He’s a known liar who has lied his entire life? Has he even met his client? Oh, yeah. There was that time Rudy dressed in drag and Trump was hitting on him in a comedy skit that was more creepy than funny.

He is right in one regard. Cohen is a liar. You would have to be if you’re Donald Trump’s lawyer/fixer. Denying any knowledge about paying off Stormy Daniels aboard Air Force One (they’re really gonna have to scrub and decontaminate that plane when this is all over), Trump told the press to ask Cohen. It seems he didn’t have an issue with his credibility then.

Cohen does have a track record of lies. Unfortunately for Trump, most of those on the record are in defense of Donald Trump. How many years did Trump employ this liar?

This entire ordeal of Russians in Trump Tower is consumed with lies. Jr. told the press that the campaign was unaware of Russians trying to meet with the Trump campaign. Later, when the meeting was revealed, his response was like, “oh…you meant those Russians.”

Trump, who is now on record lying about knowledge of payments to Stormy and Playmate Karen McDougal (does he remember boinking them?), claimed that the Obama administration didn’t try to prevent Russian hacking because they never notified his campaign. The truth is his campaign was notified by the FBI. Trump lies.

Trump continues to lie and calls the Russia investigation a witch hunt and that the ones colluding were the Democrats, despite the fact there were literal Russians in Trump Towers and spies on his campaign staff. He’s also ignoring the multiple indictments against Russians and that every branch of our intelligence agencies verifies that Russia meddled in the election to help Donald Trump. Earlier this week, Trump even tweeted that Russians would attack us again and help the Democrats. Yesterday, it was reported that Russians hackers attempted to steal passwords from a Democratic Senator’s campaign staff. The point is, Trump lies.

There’s also the fact that the day Russians first attacked the DNC was the very same day Trump called from a podium for Russia to “release” Clinton’s emails. Trump also shouted on the campaign trail, “I love Wikileaks,” and read them out loud on stage. Each of these instances is actual footage of him colluding with Russia.

Trump keeps calling the investigation a hoax and there was no collusion. We know it’s not a hoax and it’s starting to look like there was collusion going on in Trump Tower (a building which was probably financed by Russians).

Trump is very sensitive that talk of Russian meddling invalidates his election victory. As it turns out, it does. Trump is a liar. Even if his campaign didn’t collude, he would NOT be president today if Vladimir Putin didn’t give him a push.

I’d like to see Trump and several of his minions pushed out of the White House and into prison. He may actually feel very comfortable there because prisons are full of liars.

Thank you for your support. Reader contributions really do help and are appreciated in a time of dwindling revenue for political cartoonists. You will also be supporting free speech and the First Amendment, and independent journalism while those in power are doing all they can to suppress it. You can also support by purchasing a signed print for $40.00. Just look at the right of this page and click the PayPal button, or you can email and make other arrangements. Thank you!

Watch me draw.

Fake Editing

cjones06282018

Even before the major reasons why Donald Trump should not have been seriously considered for the presidency, I had a few that may appear petty but point to larger problems with the guy.

Trump’s inexperience, stupidity, sexism, and racism are all great reasons why the man shouldn’t have gotten farther than the rent-is-too-damn-high guy. But stuff like not paying people who work for him reveals a dishonest person who can’t be trusted. Stealing from his own charity also reveals dishonesty along with corruption because he’s a con man.

His insecurity and pettiness are exhibited by trophy wives, an extremely bad comb-over, and suits that don’t fit despite the fact he’s a billionaire who owns his own clothing line. But one of the kickers for me, as a journalist, is his love for the National Enquirer, a gossip tabloid that pays for stories and is sold at checkout lines next to Weekly World News (which is a much more entertaining read).

Put aside Trump’s penchant for labeling any real news and facts he doesn’t like as “fake news,” and his attacks on the press as “dishonest” and an “enemy to the American people.” Look at the judgement of a guy who believes the Enquirer should have won a Pulitzer and its editor should be in charge of The New York Times.

Trump has a friendship with the Enquirer. Its owner, David Pecker, is a pal. You can count the number of newspapers that endorsed Trump with both hands and have fingers left. The Enquirer is one of them. In addition to the endorsement, the paper would pay for the exclusive rights to stories from women claiming affairs with Trump, only to kill the stories.

Sam Nunberg, an early adviser to the campaign, compared the Enquirer to a campaign mailer. While a mailer was expensive, sent to prospective voters, and hardly ever read, the Enquirer was seen at every checkout line in the nation. Everyone reads the headlines while standing in line. Now, we’re learning those headlines were approved by Trump.

According to three sources with the weekly rag, the paper would send stories, photos, and mock front pages to Trump’s attorney/fixer Michael Cohen for approval. One story sent for approval was on Hillary Clinton’s health with a headline stating she only had six months left to live. Why vote for a dying candidate, right? That was published in September 2015 and in case you haven’t noticed, Hillary Clinton is still alive in 2018.

During the primary, the paper ran stories linking Ted Cruz’s father to JFK’s assassination, and even more unbelievable, rumors of Ted having multiple affairs.

A newspaper can print whatever it wants as long as it’s not libelous. They can publish lies. There isn’t even a law saying a publication can’t coordinate with a campaign. But, if a candidate exerts control over a publication then that can violate federal election laws.

The company that owns the Enquirer said they never sent stories for approval, but they also told us there were multiple women willing to have sex with Ted Cruz.

According to the sources, stories didn’t just go through Cohen. Trump would often have his assistant Hope Hicks contact Pecker (the publisher, not Trump’s little soldier) with story ideas, and would often call the guy himself.

According to one of the people with knowledge of the practice, the sharing continues. The source said, “Since Trump’s become president and even before, [Pecker] openly just has been willing to turn the magazine and the cover over to the Trump machine.”

Federal prosecutors subpoenaed American Media Inc., the Enquirer’s owner, as part of their investigation into Michael Cohen. They probably found a lot of interesting files related to the paper after raiding Cohen’s office, home, and hotel room.

I’m not sure if the paper violated any laws, and I would defend their First Amendment rights, even if they really are “fake news.” However, it goes beyond being a member of the free press and journalism if they acted as an extension of the Trump campaign.

I wouldn’t want to read a newspaper that favors Donald Trump, like the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette which just fired their cartoonist Rob Rogers for drawing Trump cartoons. It’s even worse when the publisher allows Trump to dictate their coverage.

I hate the term “fake news.” If it’s fake, it’s not news. And neither is the National Enquirer.

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Thank you for your support. Reader contributions really do help and are appreciated in a time of dwindling revenue for political cartoonists. You will also be supporting free speech and the First Amendment, and independent journalism while those in power are doing all they can to suppress it. You can also support by purchasing a signed print for $40.00. Just look at the right of this page and click the PayPal button, or you can email and make other arrangements. Thank you!

Groundhog Day…Again

cjones01282018

I’ve heard several political pundits compare the Trump era to Groundhog Day. Not the day when a rodent pops out of a hole and predicts weather. They’re comparing it to the great Bill Murray/Harold Ramis movie, Groundhog Day.

Released in 1993, Bill Murray is an egotistical weatherman stuck indefinitely in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania on Groundhog Day, where the day’s events keep repeating on a loop until the end of time or until Bill learns not to be such an asshole.

This is kind of where we are with the Trump administration. Every day repeats something extremely stupid that we’ll be forced to repeat over and over until Donald Trump learns not to be such an asshole or Robert Mueller sends him to federal prison. My money is on prison. It’s more annoying than having to wake up to “I Got You, Babe” every single morning.

Think about it. Does it feel like it’s only been a year since Trump gave his “American Carnage” speech and Sean Spicer chewed out the media for accurately reporting crowd sizes? How can one person accuse Obama of wiretapping him, defend Nazis, endorse pedophiles, and accuse an entire continent of being a shithole in a span of one year? I didn’t think it was possible for one person to tell over 2,000 lies in one year. And, you would think the guy would stop talking about Hillary Clinton after 365 days, but of course not. At some point he’s going to start writing country songs about her.

Late last night, the usual time for breaking Trump stupidity, The New York Times reported that Trump tried to fire Special Counsel Robert Mueller last June. The only thing that stopped him was White House Counsel Don McGahn’s refusal and threat to quit if Muller was fired.

Being that they’re all chickenshits, Trump didn’t want to do the firing himself and McGahn didn’t want to refuse to Trump’s face. They each used surrogates, with McGahn being Trump’s. If McGahn didn’t do it to Trump’s face that means he used someone like Reince Priebus or Steve Bannon, which further makes them witnesses to an obstruction of justice. Ya’ll all going to prison.

Apparently, Trump cited three conflicts of interest for Mueller as the reasons for wanting him fired. None of them were good reasons. They were, he once worked at a law firm that represented Jared Kushner, he interviewed to return as the director of the FBI the day before he was appointed as the Special Counsel, and finally, he was a member of one of Trump’s golf clubs and had a dispute over membership fees.

Of course, Trump denies this happened which means it happened. Trump has complained daily about the Special Counsel, the FBI, the Justice Department, and has stated that any investigation looking into his finances will be going too far. Last June was also when the Special Counsel was just kicking in and hiring lawyers with experience in Watergate and Enron. Mueller didn’t hire any reality TV lawyers. Trump is in the deep end and he doesn’t even know how to dog paddle.

One of the many things I find amusing is that Trump’s lawyers are working overtime to prevent him from testifying to Mueller, despite their claims that Trump is a political genius.

Equally amusing is this notion that McGahn is somehow the hero of the White House protecting our nation from Trump fuckery. No, he’s not. This is the same guy who asked Sally Yates, after she warned them about Michael Flynn’s lying to the FBI, “why would the Justice Department care?” There’s also one other little nugget about Don McGahn people are overlooking. He works for Donald Trump.

Sure, he may have done what he thought was best for the nation in refusing to order the Justice Department to fire Mueller. He may have been protecting the president, White House, and Justice Department from the shit storm. Maybe he just didn’t wanna hear Kellyanne Conway defending it on TV. Or, maybe he doesn’t want to go to prison.

If Trump goes to prison, he’s not going alone. Maybe it’s something that’s not obvious to each Trump sycophant, but when Trump asks/tells them to do something, he may be asking them to jump on a grenade for him. I know these idiots worship Trump, but do they love him enough to serve time?

Also, maybe McGahn was looking for a reason to quit. He’s a lawyer who has had to hire a lawyer over Trump Fuckery and the Mueller Investigation. Who really wants a job that requires you to hire a lawyer so you don’t go to jail?

Creative notes: I had another subject mapped out in my head when this news hit. But I wanted to be one of the first to cover the story, so I pushed it aside. That also presented a problem as I had just drawn Trump in prison and inserted one of his lawyers in the cartoon. I really wanted to do something different since I was doing two cartoons in a row on the same subject.

This cartoon isn’t my normal style. It seems like something other cartoonists would think of. I like to shoot for weirder ideas. Also, I’ve drawn very few cartoons on Groundhog Day throughout my career. Part of that is, I hate holiday cartoons and cliches. Another big reason I’ve drawn so few is that Groundhog Day always sneaks up on me. Usually I’m not even aware of Groundhog Day until it is Groundhog Day. I refuse to draw a holiday cartoon that is published after the holiday (though that doesn’t stop some publishers from publishing them after).

This cartoon puts more emphasis on humor than a strong comment on Trump’s obstruction of justice. Something tells me I’ll have more opportunities.

Other creative note: I really wanted to make Phil flipping him off, but you know…newspapers.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude

Trump Testimony

cjones01272018

You would think every high-profile and esteemed lawyer in Washington would be lining up to represent the president of the United States, especially one who is a supposed billionaire who can pay exorbitant legal fees. But every lawyer worth a crap has rejected his requests for legal representation. That’s what happens when, A.) you don’t pay your legal fees, B.) you’re the client from Hell who doesn’t know when to shut up, and C.) you continue to display your guilt in interviews and tweets.

It’s so bad that Trump had to settle for legal representation from the Quaker Oats guy. Wait, that’s not the Quaker Oats guy. That’s Ty Cobb…the racist, dead baseball player. My bad. That’s a different Ty Cobb. He’s not Wilford Brimley or the dead baseball guy, and I don’t know if he’s racist, but he has one as a client.

As Special Counsel Robert Mueller gets closer and closer to Trump, his defense team is attempting to negotiate how the Idiot in Chief will provide testimony. First, they’ll present a low-ball offer, like Trump answering in written testimony drawn with Crayolas. What they’re trying to avoid is a face-to-face confrontation, on tape, or in front of a grand jury. Their first proposal definitely won’t be volunteering Trump’s testimony under oath.

Wednesday, Trump told a crowd of reporters in the White House that he’s willing to testify under oath. Seconds later, Ty Cobb crapped himself. Trump’s comments took the swirl out of his mustache. Cobb wrote a statement shortly after saying, “are you freaking kidding me? I thought he was on a plane to Europe? Jesus Christ for the love of…why? Why? Why?” Then he threw that statement into a garbage can, started over, and issued a new one which said, “Seriously. I thought he was going to Europe.” No, it actually said, “Mr. Trump was speaking hurriedly and intended only to say that he was willing to meet. He’s ready to meet with them, but he’ll be guided by the advice of his personal counsel.” Whatever Trump is not paying his legal team, it’s not enough.

Trump says a lot of things “hurriedly.” He hurriedly asked James Comey for his loyalty. He hurriedly asked Comey to drop the investigation into Michael Flynn after he found out Flynn lied to the FBI. He hurriedly told Lester Holt that he fired James Comey as FBI director because he wanted to kill the Russia investigation. He hurriedly asked Andrew McCabe, while he was considering him to be Comey’s replacement, who he had voted for. He hurriedly complained about his Attorney General’s decision to recuse himself and that he wasn’t loyal enough. He hurriedly put pressure on his new FBI Director to get rid of his deputy. He hurriedly stated that he’s trying to purge the FBI and Justice Department and rebuild them into his own personal protection service.

Trump even hurriedly tweeted that he fired Flynn for lying to the vice president and…for lying to the FBI. That was an admittance that he knew Flynn had lied to the FBI when he asked Comey to drop the investigation. It’s an admittance of obstruction of justice. Later, his other stupid lawyer, John Dowd, said that Trump didn’t issue the tweet and that he was the twitter machine operator for that particular tweet. Lying for the president makes that lawyer complicit in obstruction. I think the Quaker Oats guy would have been smarter than that.

Trump’s lawyers are not excited for him to testify. Normally, you’d be eager for him to talk because that would mean the investigation is wrapping up and you’ll be cleared and able to move on with your life. Not with Trump. Trump lies.

Trump has gone through several depositions in the past for civil suits, and he has lied his way through all of them. The lawyers for those depositions were probably very good, but they’re not Robert Mueller and the team he has put together. Trump is in trouble. Even if Trump is innocent of collusion and obstruction of justice, he’s in trouble.

When telling the press he’d testify under oath, he brought up Hillary Clinton, again. He’s probably thinking about her in his sleep at this point. She’s gotta be popping up in there between cheeseburger dreams and shark nightmares. Trump informed the press, who already knew, that Clinton didn’t testify under oath to the FBI. That is true. But, Trump should know from Michael Flynn’s predicament that the FBI doesn’t need you to be under oath when they talk to you. Lying to the FBI is illegal.

Clinton did testify to Congress under oath and for several hours. Trump would never be able to sit through hours of Congressional testimony. I hope Mueller grills Trump for hours, as he doesn’t have the energy for long debates, stairs, or golf courses. You know the Special Counsel’s team is going to have a lot of questions for him. From his statements admitting obstruction, to his businesses, to money laundering, to collusion, to paying off porn stars, etc.

The thought of Trump testifying before Robert Mueller is exciting and sad at the same time. Exciting that Trump is no match for Mueller. Sad that it won’t be broadcast live. That would be more exciting than the Super Bowl, World Series, Stanley Cup, and Wrestlemania combined. I would need a lot of popcorn and chicken wings. I hope they release it on DVD.

You couldn’t play a drinking game for Trump’s lies as you’d die from alcohol poisoning, but you could make a pool with friends placing bets on how soon Trump will lie. I’ll put a wager on within the first ten seconds.

One great thing about stupid people is that they don’t know they’re stupid. Kinda like racist people don’t know they’re racist. Trump believes everyone believes his lies. He’s been taught that he can get away with lies in the business and political worlds. He refers to actual facts as “fake news.” Dogma and conspiracies will not save him from Mueller. Trump believes he’s smarter than everyone when he’s really only smarter than his sycophants. If you’ve talked to one of his sycophants, you know that’s a low bar.

Trump is in trouble and his legal team is no match for Mueller or Trump’s stupid mouth. They should find out if the Quaker Oats guy is available.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude

But HIS Emails

cjones12212017

When a white cop shoots an unarmed black guy or a black child playing with a toy gun, we’re told it’s disrespectful to criticize the police. Cops work dangerous jobs and their lives are on the line on a daily basis, so how dare you question them. When a jury, prosecutor, or a grand jury lets one of these cops go, we’re told to trust the judicial system and this is how it’s supposed to work. So, don’t question or criticize law enforcement or the judicial system…unless they go after a white billionaire. Then they’re all corrupt Democrats who probably contributed to the Clinton Foundation.

Trump, his sycophants, Republicans in Congress, and the idiots at Fox News are publicly smearing the FBI and Special Counsel, Robert Mueller. They’re painting them as corrupt and engaging in a political witch hunt. Fox News has even called the investigation into Trump’s collusion with Russia a “coup.” I hope for Christmas someone sticks a dictionary into a stocking at Fox News. If there’s only one copy they can pass it around to each other. It won’t see much use.

White House informants (people who work there and secretly hate Trump) report that Trump has accused Rod Rosenstein, the Deputy Attorney General who appointed and oversees the Special Counsel, is a Democrat. In reality, he’s a Republican though he is from Maryland which probably makes Republicans suspicious.

Trump’s lawyers are also contributing to the propaganda that Robert Mueller, a Vietnam veteran and a Republican whose reputation has never been questioned until now, is a political hack trying to thwart the will of the American people, who praise and worship Donald Trump who has personally sacrificed to do so much for this nation.

I hope Trump’s judicial nominees aren’t an indication of the type of private legal counsel he’s hired that he doesn’t plan to pay for. They’ve told the president the Special Counsel’s investigation will wrap up by January (wrong) and that now Mueller’s office has broken the law by gaining access to the Trump transition team’s emails. Wrong again.

Mueller has been given access to tens of thousands of transition emails, as well as laptops, cellphones, and at least one iPad and other documents related to 13 transition officials. These were provided by the General Services Administration which was storing all the transition material.

Trump’s lawyers are arguing that this stuff doesn’t belong to the public, the GSA was not authorized to release them, and that a portion is covered by various privileges including attorney-client privilege. That’s almost as silly as Trump Jr. arguing his chit-chats between him and his daddy are subject to attorney-client privilege.

The GSA provided office space, computer systems, and emails to the transition team, which it has done for other transition teams in the past. They had an agreement that all the documents would be destroyed (why?) after the transition was complete, but the transition team asked them to archive the material after Congress made document requests last year. After Congress made the requests, destroying them may have been illegal.

However, transition officials signed other agreements that warn them material kept on government servers are subject to monitoring and auditing and there are no expectations of privacy.

None of this has prevented Trump’s team to complain to Congress and the public that Mueller is overreaching. Here’s the thing: If you are arguing a case and you have an issue with how the opposition has gathered evidence, you present an argument to the judge to dismiss the material. Trump’s lawyers will not do that. Why? Because after the judge laughs them out of court then they won’t be able to argue to the public about the travesty and injustice Mueller is hitting them with.

How many times have I written on this blog that conservatives have no sense of irony? Countless! This is another example.

Does no one on the Trump team see the irony and hypocrisy of Donald Trump complaining about investigators looking at his government email? This is the man who screamed “I love WikiLeaks” and publicly asked Russia to hack into Hillary Clinton’s email and release it to the press. You remember that “Russia, if you’re listening” shit.

Trump tells us “many people” are angry over this. Where are these angry people? I’ve heard more people express anger over The Last Jedi than over these transition emails. And, they’re all wrong. Emails ending in “.gov” are not private emails and The Last Jedi was freaking awesome.

Trump also keeps saying there’s no collusion. I’m sure there’s not, other than that time Donald Trump Jr., Jared, and Paul Manafort entertained Russians in Trump Tower, and Jared’s bank deals, and Junior’s coordination with WikiLeaks, and Michael Flynn, and Carter Page, and George Papadopoulos, and….well, you get the picture.

I hope Mueller keeps applying the pressure. I plan to and I’m sure I’ll be joined by the rest of my fellow rebel scum.

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