Monopoly Man

Food Bank Billionaires


The quote in the cartoon is direct from the tortoise’s mouth.

If you make $70,000 a year or less, you’re getting a $600 check from the government. This is a stimulus to help you get through the pandemic. Does $600 help? Sure…a little. If you’re like me, that’s not even a month’s rent. If you’re a single mom with two kids, that might be your month’s food budget. Nobody’s going to refuse $600, but it’s a joke to think that’ll solve anyone’s financial woes. If you’re months behind on rent and facing eviction, $600 might get your landlord to leave you alone…for a day. He’ll be back tomorrow.

Americans need real help and what we have been hoping for is a $2,000 stimulus check. That’s not going to solve everything either, but 2,000 is more than 600. Even Donald Trump is pushing Congress to increase the stimulus to 2,000. Now it would have helped even more if he had done this while the relief package was being negotiated, or if he had fought for it half as hard as he did for tax cuts for billionaires and corporations and ending the inheritance tax for trust-fund babies named Trump.

Donald Trump fought a lot harder to put more money into his own pocket than he fought to put money into yours. Republicans only care about increasing the deficit when money is proposed to help people who actually need it. But when it comes to tax cuts for yacht-riding, Dijon-eating billionaire assholes with private helicopters and golf-club memberships, no problem.

Now, Mitch McConnell has stated there’s “no realistic path” for the senate to pass a stand-alone bill on providing relief checks of $2,000.

What does stand-alone mean? That means there’s nothing else in the bill. All that’s in the bill is raising your check to $2,000. This way, no senator can say they were for the raise but against other bullshit in the bill, like making our national anthem “Who Let The Dogs Out.”

That’s what McConnell wants to do. No, not attach a rider to the bill changing our national anthem to “Who Let The Dogs Out,” or “Macarena,” or “MMMBop,” or James Blunt’s “You’re Beautiful” (I can do this all day). But he does want to “poison” the bill by putting shit in there Democrats can’t vote for. It’s a trick and it’s one Republican voters can’t catch even with it sitting right in front of them.

McConnell wants to attach “investigating the integrity of the 2020 election” and revoking legal protections for social media platforms to the bill. You’ve probably already heard “integrity” as part of the GOP talking point for the lie and conspiracy theory of mass voter fraud. Republicans want to waste a lot of time and money (but the deficit!) investigating something that doesn’t exist, mostly in order to delegitimize Joe Biden’s presidency. The other issue, revoking legal protections for social media platforms, is an issue that we shouldn’t slap into a bill because Donald Trump gets his feelings hurt on the internet.

Republicans do NOT want “integrity” in our elections and they do NOT care about facts on social media. They don’t want Twitter to be protected when a third party calls Donald Trump “Mr. Orange Shitgibbon,” or “Hair Fuehrer,” or “Orange Julius,” or “Tiny McGrope-A-Lot,” (I can do this all day). Keep in mind, this is the same crowd that’s facing libel lawsuits for claiming Dominion changed votes. As for “integrity,” these are the same fuckers who want to disenfranchise Americans’ Constitutionally-protected voting rights and overthrow an election. There’s not much “integrity” in coup attempts. So to everyone using the word “integrity” with your “voter fraud” claims, screw you, you lying MAGAt shitweasel asshats.

And for McConnell to say there’s no “realistic” path to a stand-alone bill giving us $2,000, he’s lying.

Mitch McConnell is the Senate Majority Leader. It’s up to him and him alone as to what is and isn’t voted on. He can allow a stand-alone bill. He can put it up for a vote today. But he doesn’t have the balls to put it on the floor and finding out which senators are truly for it and which ones aren’t…like the two Republicans in Georgia facing a runoff.

Kelly Loeffler and David Perdue both say they’re for the stimulus increase, but they’re not talking about it a lot. What they should both do is demand McConnell put a stand-alone bill on the floor. I mean, that’s what they’d do if they were really for it, right? Why doesn’t Donald Trump make the same demand?

But if you live in Georgia and you really want $2,000 to help you out, then don’t vote for Loeffler and Perdue. Pretty simple, isn’t it?

And election integrity? What we need is integrity in the United States Senate and from the Senate Majority Leader.

McConnell also said, “The Senate is not going to be bullied into rushing out more borrowed money into the hands of Democrats’ rich friends who don’t need the help.” Have you seen the lines at food banks across the country? Those are NOT Democrats’ rich friends who don’t need help.

When it comes to rich friends who don’t need help, McConnell and Trump are all about borrowing money to give it to them. They gave huge tax cuts to billionaires like Trump and to millionaires like McConnell. They gave permanent tax cuts to corporations. Donald Trump is a corporation. Donald Trump and Mitch McConnell are not at food banks and I seriously doubt they know anyone who needs help putting food on their table.

Part of the argument for tax cuts for the rich was that it would skyrocket the economy. That was four years ago and it didn’t. But you’ll be glad to know that during this pandemic, the rich have gotten richer.

So when you get that $600 relief check, remember…it could have been $2,000 but Mitch McConnell stopped it. And all the other Republicans in the Senate helped prevent you from receiving more help by not forcing McConnell to help you.

This is what Republicans do. They help the rich and screw the poor and middle-class. You can bank on that.

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Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have an order of 20 copies of my book (12 are left to purchase) on the way, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. The books won’t arrive until after the new year, but orders are being taken and they’ll be shipped as soon as I receive them. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Update on book: They’re here but…I forgot to order envelopes. Shit. Envelopes are on the way. I’m sorry and I shouldn’t have assumed I had enough on hand. I swear that about 30 book envelopes disappeared out of my apartment.

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Reopening-The-Country Task Force


Dr. Anthony Fauci said we could reopen the country in May. Will Dr. Fauci still be working for the government at that time?

Yesterday, Dr. Fauci conceded that a quicker response to the coronavirus pandemic could have saved lives. This morning, Donald Trump retweeted a tweet with a hashtag to “fire Fauci.” Fauci has committed the crime of not just disagreeing with Trump but telling the truth. While firing Fauci will get Trump condemnation and criticism from normal people, his base and Fox News will pick up the mantle that Fauci was disloyal.

In this administration, loyalty to an orange ego is more important than saving lives. Trump’s tweet proves that serving his ego and narcissism is more important than saving lives.

On Friday, Donald Trump revealed he was creating a new task for to focus solely on reopening the country. Trump said it would consist of “very good” doctors, business people, and members of Congress, and governors. Thank God he’s not planning to appoint any bad doctors. No word on whether the business people and politicians will be good ones.

During a rambling press conference that lasted over two hours where the creation of the task force was the only new news, Trump said, “This is beyond economic. I call it the ‘opening our country task force’ or ‘opening our country council,’ so we don’t get it confused with the primary White House task force.” The guy can’t even settle on a name but he’s the deciding factor on when the nation reopens? We’re all going to die.

There’s a lot of concern Trump is impatient about restarting the economy. Go read a few posts from right-wingers and Trump cultists and you’ll see the direction is on opening the country now…with great anger that it was ever shut down to begin with. There is deep concern Donald Trump, who is an idiot, will push to reopen the nation too soon, which would be like pouring gasoline on a coronavirus fire.

Donald Trump is the first president in the modern era to lose 3 million jobs a week two weeks in a row. He’s watched the stock market fall. He was slow to react to a virus that may end up killing at least 60,000 Americans. But he wants your ass at Walmart and baseball games.

Trump said the task force will be bipartisan. What does he consider bipartisan? Will he appoint his stupid daughter, Ivanka to the board and say that’s bipartisan because she was a Democrat before being told she had to switch parties to vote for her dad in New York’s Republican primary (she and her two idiot brothers actually missed the deadline and weren’t able to vote for Daddy in the primary)?

Since Trump is creating the task force now, does that mean he’ll say it’s safe to open the nation tomorrow?

Donald Trump was warned about the virus in early January. While he claimed impeachment distracted him, it didn’t stop him from playing golf or holding MAGA rallies. After being warned multiple times, he finally declared a state of emergency on January 31, two days AFTER establishing the White House Coronavirus Task Force.

While that task force has Dr. Fauci, Dr. Deborah Birx, and Surgeon General Jerome Adams, it also has assorted nuts like Mike Pence (who chairs it), Ben Carson, Ken Cuccinelli, Larry Kudlow, and Steve Mnuchin. Behind the scenes, Trump’s idiot son-in-law is running a shadow coronavirus task force, which might also be the reopening-the-country task force. With this group, the only people who are sleeping well at night are Trump cultists who haven’t seen his latest polling numbers…or Joe Biden’s.

The one good piece of information is that Donald Trump does not have the authority, like he believes he does, to order governors to reopen their states. Sure, he has influence and Republican fucknut governors in the south will do whatever he says because unlike Dr. Fauci, they don’t work with facts.

The problem with Trump is that he’ll probably only appoint people to the new task force who will tell him what he wants to hear. He’s not looking at the numbers of cases and deaths. He’s looking at polling and economic numbers. He’s looking at being a failed one-term president…instead of a failed two-term president.

Keep in mind, this is a man who appointed his daughter and her husband as his advisers. He’s put his son-in-law in charge of Middle East peace and immigration. He appointed people to his cabinet like Ben Carson, Betsy DeVos, and Rick Perry. If he ever did own an NFL team, he’d draft Ryan Leaf.

We’re all going to die.

Tip Jar:

This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

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