Michael Bloomberg

Roughing It, Volume 34


Check out some roughs from the past week.

CNNrough591

We went with this for the CNN toon.

CNNrough593

This isn’t a different idea but it’s a different way of doing it. I don’t think either is better than the other, but it was an option.

CNNrough592

I finished this one later. I liked it too much. It’s not often I get to do a slutty slot Bloomberg cartoon.

CNNrough590

I was trying to find a way to do this with a pissed-off horse, but I never found it…unless this is it.

CNNrough589

This was after the first debate with Bloomberg where Elizabeth Warren totally destroyed him. I had made a comment online that they lowered the bar for Bloomberg to get into the debate, and Warren took that bar and beat his ass with it.

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You can probably tell from the lettering that I was totally intending to do this cartoon. I even had approval from my proofreaders, Laura and Hilary. I started it during the day and later the next morning around 4:00 am, I got another idea I liked better and did that instead. I thought I might come back to this but I never did. And despite the way it looks, I actually worked on it for at least three hours. I’m counting the writing and thinking of it part, not the actual art. I do remember Laura telling me I made the right call. I think I pushed it for the Mike Pence Corona Gay Conversion cartoon.

CNNrough594

I liked this but I was concerned people wouldn’t remember Ren and Stimpy. It’s been over 20 years since the show ended.

See how productive I’ve been today? I still have to invoice all my clients, but I posted my CNN cartoon, drew and posted another cartoon (the Democratic Hoax one), wrote a column about my friend Bob, I went to the post office and grocery store, I went out for 20 minutes for a beer with a friend, and with that Ren and Stimpy fact, I made you feel old. That’s a productive Sunday and I need a nap.

Which of these roughs are your faves?

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From 

Watch me draw.

Lemony Bloomberg


CNN02232020

Here’s your cartoon for CNN’s weekly newsletter, Provoke/Persuade. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday for the rest of your life.

Someone said something close to “no one has ever lost as much money in one night in Las Vegas than Michael Bloomberg.” The guy has spent millions of his own money running for president only to be eviscerated by Elizabeth Warren.

While Warren successfully tore Bloomberg down, it doesn’t seem to have helped her with gaining delegates. Sure, her donations increased, but she’s still trailing nearly all the other candidates. It’s kinda like when Christ Christie destroyed Marco Rubio in a debate and the only person it helped was Donald Trump. Hell, Trump didn’t even make the guy his veep (which he expected) or give him a cabinet position. But I understand he did get some meatloaf and the opportunity to make fast food runs for Trump.

Yesterday, I made a post that Bloomberg is my top choice among the Democratic candidates…based upon my ability to caricature them. That confused people and sent many into a panic. C’mon, people. If I was going to vote based upon how easy it is to draw them and give me material, I’d be voting for Trump and would have voted for him in 2016. But there’s no way in Hell that I would ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever cast a vote for Michael Bloomberg.

Unless he’s the nominee against Donald Trump.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From 

Watch me draw.

Bloomy’s Slutty Slots


cjones02292020

Did I mention in the last blog after the debate that Michael Bloomberg had a lousy night?

It wasn’t just that Bloomberg got kicked in the teeth by Elizabeth Warren all night long, but that he wasn’t prepared at all. For example, at one point, he criticized Bernie Sanders for owning three homes despite being a socialist. At last count, Bloomberg owned at least 12 homes. In case you’re a Republican, 12 is more than three.

But it was Warren inflicting the most damage. If Bloomberg wasn’t a billionaire funding his own campaign, his campaign would be over. Bloomy didn’t just have to answer for his racist “stop and frisk” policy he enacted as mayor of New York City, but also for sexist comments he’s made at his business and for multiple non-disclosure agreements with female staffers.

Another great example of Bloomberg being unprepared was his defense of the NDAs as being for the protection of the women’s privacy. And as Warren pointed out, one of his defenses was that he’s been nice to some women. He also wasn’t prepared for Warren’s challenge to release all women from his company’s NDAs. Warren continued that challenge after the debate.

Elizabeth Warren used to teach contract law at Harvard. She crafted a release form for those who have signed NDAs with Bloomberg and his company and challenged him to sign it. She said, “”All that Mayor Bloomberg has to do is download it. I’ll text it. Sign it and then the women or men will be free to speak and tell their own stories.”

Yesterday, Bloomberg offered to release three women from their NDAs and free them to tell their sides of the story. Are these NDAs over harassment or discrimination at his company? Were they drawn up over the behavior of managers at his company or Bloomberg himself? At the debate, Bloomberg said, “None of them have accused me of doing anything, other than maybe they didn’t like a joke.”

That’s not good enough for Warren. She said, “Mike Bloomberg and his company should issue a blanket waiver so anyone who wants to come forward can come forward, with or without Bloomberg’s prior permission.” She’s right. Even the three releases he’s offered require the women to contact his company. Do those releases require other forms to sign? Do they need to sign an NDA to be released from their NDAs?

Bloomberg needs to “man-up” and offer a blanket waiver that doesn’t require those who have signed NDAs to contact or go through his company. Warren pointed out that we don’t know how many women have signed NDAs at his company. What do you want to bet it’s more than three?

At one of his racist fucknut rallies, Donald Trump said Bloomberg spent $500 million to be embarrassed by “Pocahontas.” Trump may want to pay more attention because what Warren is doing to Bloomberg is just practice for what she’ll do to him. I for one would love to see how she would respond to his racist slur while sharing a debate stage.

Michael Bloomberg’s presidential campaign is a loser and I don’t think he’s rich enough to make Democrats forget his debate performance. He’s not rich enough to convince Democrats that we need to replace an arrogant, sexist billionaire with another arrogant, sexist billionaire.

Instead of participating in the Las Vegas debate, Bloomy should have hit the casinos. Versus his presidential campaign, he would have lost a lot less money on the slots.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From 

Watch me draw.

Fat Broads And Horse-Faced Lesbians


cjones02272020

I wish men who have a history of calling women “fat broads” and “horse-faced lesbians” wouldn’t even bother with running for president because this was a nation that wouldn’t consider such a jackal for our highest office. Unfortunately, this is a nation where there are enough voters, with the help of Wikileaks, Vladimir Putin, and some ill-timed FBI announcements, to put a self-described “pussy grabber” in the White House.

The bar for expectations was lowered for Former New York City mayor and multi-billionaire Michael Bloomberg’s first presidential debate. It wasn’t lowered enough. But maybe he would have performed better if Elizabeth Warren wasn’t standing next to him because, within the opening minutes, his night was done. Warren engaged in a scorched-earth strategy last night and she didn’t take prisoners. If there was a bar lowered for Mayor Bloomy, she took it and beat his ass with it.

While every candidate on the stage, Joe Biden, Bernie Sanders, Amy Klobuchar, and Pete Buttigieg were determined to chip away at Bloomberg’s standing in the polls, it was Warren who drew blood.

Bloomberg was a late entry into the Democratic primary and wasn’t on the ballots in Iowa or New Hampshire. He won’t be on the ballots in South Carolina or Nevada. We’ll have to wait until Super Tuesday to see how he performs in an actual contest. But with the millions of his own money he’s been pumping into the race, he’s rising in the polls. In my state of Virginia, he’s responsible for over 99% of all political ads to this point of the 2020 campaign. Right now, you’re not going to see another candidate on the air in Virginia except for Donald Trump. It’s not just his face on television. Bloomberg is also hiring and building a huge campaign organization. In Colorado, for example, Bloomberg has a staff of 55. By comparison, the current front runner, Bernie Sanders, has two.

So, with Bloomberg spending big and building a campaign his rivals can only dream of, they each took their shots last night in Las Vegas. If it was a shooting gallery at the state fair, it was Warren who won the giant stuffed monkey as all her shots hit.

Warren hit Bloomberg for alleged sexist comments he’s made and non-disclosure agreements signed by former employees.

Warren started with, “A billionaire who calls women ‘fat broads’ and ‘horse-faced lesbians.’ And no, I’m not talking about Donald Trump. I’m talking about Mayor Bloomberg.” Interestingly enough, Bloomberg didn’t defend himself or deny he made those comments.

About 40 minutes into the debate, it came back to Bloomberg who boasted of paying and promoting women equally in his company and said, “I have no tolerance for the kind of behavior that the #MeToo movement has exposed.” Warren shot back, “I hope you heard what his defense was: ‘I’ve been nice to some women.’ That just doesn’t cut it.”

Then Warren challenged him to state how many non-disclosure agreements were signed and to release all the women from the deals and allow their alleged accounts of harassment or discrimination to become public. Bloomberg didn’t release them last night and made a poor defense stating, “None of them accused me of anything other than maybe they didn’t like a joke I told.”

Bloomberg’s responses couldn’t have been worse for him if his opponents had written them.

A lot of people were tweeting that Elizabeth Warren killed Michael Bloomberg. In fact, for a minute, his Wikipedia page reflected that he had been murdered by Elizabeth Warren in Las Vegas, Nevada.

A statement by his campaign reflected that Bloomberg sucked the suckiest suck that ever sucked on a debate stage with, “He was just warming up tonight.” Dude, with all the money you spent, your campaign needs to bullshit better than that. But, he doesn’t have to warm up because he got roasted with Warren’s flamethrower.

Donald Trump tweeted, “Mini Mike Bloomberg’s debate performance tonight was perhaps the worst in the history of debates, and there have been some really bad ones. He was stumbling, bumbling and grossly incompetent. If this doesn’t knock him out of the race, nothing will. Not so easy to do what I did!” That is true. Donald Trump’s debate performances were stumbling, bumbling, and grossly incompetent, yet he stayed in the race. That wasn’t easy, what with all his debate performances being “really bad ones.”

But Trump unknowingly, like most things he makes, makes a point. Sometimes, it doesn’t matter how poorly you perform in a debate. Donald Trump never won a debate in 2016. In fact, he never went through a debate without looking like a total, sexist, racist jackass who didn’t know shit about shit. Donald Trump went through 11 debates where all he talked about was making Mexico pay for a wall and the size of his penis (No, I’m not saying Mexico was going to pay to increase his penis size. They’d need something to work with). The one thing Bloomberg has going for him is that Americans may push aside past sexist comments and the fact he’s not a total freaking idiot like Donald Trump. And then there’s his money. While Donald Trump is a pretend billionaire, Bloomberg is an actual billionaire.

If Donald Trump had to produce a billion dollars in cash today, he wouldn’t be able to do it, even with all the stealing he’s doing from emoluments and from campaign donations. Meanwhile, Bloomberg is doing it as we speak. Elizabeth Warren even predicted it’s how he’ll recover from last night’s stinky debate performance.

She told MSNBC’s Chris Matthews, “After his performance tonight, I have no doubt he is about to drop another $100 million … in order to erase America’s memory of what happened on that debate stage.” She’s probably right and it will probably work.

Of course, Donald Trump had something going for him in 2016 that Bloomberg doesn’t have today. Trump was in the Republican primary where “grab them by the pussy” or racist comments weren’t dealbreakers. If anything, they helped him with Republicans. Bloomberg is in the Democratic primary which is where the majority of women and minorities in this nation vote. Plus, Democrats have higher standards.

Michael Bloomberg is a former Republican who is a New York City billionaire who has made a lot of sexist comments and is a terrible presidential candidate. We already have that in Trump. But if Bloomberg emerges as the nominee, I’ll still be voting for Michael Bloomberg for president. I’ll probably be in the shower crying for the next three days afterward, but still…I’ll be voting for Bloomberg.

On another note, why isn’t “The Horse-Faced Lesbians” a punk rock band?

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From 

Watch me draw.

Bloomberg Get Frisky


cjones02182020

If Joe Biden’s opposition to busing in the 1970s hurt him in the 2020 Democratic primaries, then former New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg’s Stop-and-Frisk program should devastate him.

An audio clip surfaced of Bloomberg saying in 2015, that he deployed “all the cops in minority neighborhoods because that’s where they’ll find all the crime.”

Bloomberg went on to say, “Ninety-five percent of your murders and murderers and murder victims fit one M.O. You can just take the description, Xerox it, and pass it out to all the cops.” He said cops must be put “where the crime is, which means in minority neighborhoods.”

Then he added that the way to get guns off the street and out of kids’ hands “is to throw them up against the wall and frisk them.”

Donald Trump tweeted that because of this, Bloomberg is a racist. Then he deleted the tweet, probably after realizing his base supports throwing black kids up against the wall. Hell, Donald Trump supports throwing black kids up against the wall.

Bloomberg apologized for this policy right around the same time he announced his run for the presidency. Today, Donald Trump said he’s in favor of the program for which he called Bloomberg a “TOTAL RACIST.” Yes, with all caps.

Will this hurt Bloomberg, who’s been putting hundreds of his own millions into the race? God, I hope so.

Is he a total racist? I don’t think he’s a TOTAL racist. Is Donald Trump a TOTAL racist?

OH, HELL YES. And, with all caps.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From 

Watch me draw.