Death By Nuggets


I’m gonna be honest about this cartoon. I don’t think I’m really doing what I should be doing with it. How often do you hear a cartoonist say that?

I like the cartoon. It made me laugh when I thought of it as I was going to sleep. But while I was drawing it I kept having second thoughts. It’s because it hits McDonald’s, who doesn’t deserve any love, but they’re harmless in this and the one I should be hitting is Facebook.

Facebook has given a platform for people to do not just stupid stuff, but truly horrible acts, like murder. There have also been rapes and assaults on Facebook Live. Even if it didn’t have all that negative crap going for it, just the constant notifications that one of my “friends” is doing a live video is reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally annoying. Cut it out, fuckers.

I don’t even hate McDonald’s. I do hate that they only put half a slice of cheese on a fish sandwich. I hate with much prejudice and anger their chicken nuggets. They act like they invented the chicken nuggets and they taste what I imagine a loofah would taste like.

Anthony Bourdain, who has eaten a Yak’s fried anus, says the McDonald’s chicken nugget is the very worst thing he’s ever placed in his mouth. People who like McDonald’s nuggets, and who are not children, baffle me more than poor minorities who voted for Donald Trump. I just can’t figure that shit out.

So to sum up, Sorry, Mickey D’s but you kinda deserve it. Facebook, I’ll get you next time and I know there will be a next time. Friends, stop doing that Facebook-Live shit. Also, cut out the selfies and food pics. You’re pretty, you’re hungry, we get it. Now stop.

My next cartoon will hit injustice right in the face which should make up for me just having some fun this afternoon.

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I drew this for The Independent in St. George, Utah.

I like McDonald’s fair enough. I can’t eat their stuff as often as I could when I was younger. I have walked into the place over the past couple years and changed my mind from the grease smell. Other times I’ve chowed down on a Big Mac. I still love their fries…if I can get them fresh. I’m pretty psyched I can get a McGriddle now after 11:00 AM. I don’t know if I’ll ever do but I like knowing I can.

I don’t kid myself. McDonald’s is not healthy food. Those salads are just for show. It’s definitely not something you want to get your children hooked on. I know as a parent I fed my son way too much of it, but to be honest, he just wanted the toy and would ignore his Happy Meal.

Having a contest to see which kid can gorge himself the most and the fastest isn’t just stupid, it’s destructive. It’s a contest to see which child they can encourage to slowly kill himself.

To be honest, after drawing this I kinda want a Big Mac. Just one. It’s not a contest.

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Meanwhile all the Republican presidential candidates have come out against Burger King’s new Black Bun Whopper.

Gocomics is a site where editorial cartoons usually receives the most reader comments. I predict there will be less comments about Hillary Clinton being indecisive and rebranding herself, and more about McDonald’s serving breakfast all day.

I have to admit, I’m pretty psyched about getting a McGriddle at four in the afternoon. The McGriddle might be the greatest invention of the modern era.

I’m sure as Hell not going to try that black bun burger…or anything from Burger King. Bleagh!

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. The starving cartoonist appreciates it.