McDonald’s

McRevenge

cjones01082020

Even when it comes to war, Donald Trump fails at being presidential or even at maturity.

He threatened Iran by saying he has 52 targets. That’s the number of hostages taken by Iran in 1979. He also threatened to hit Iranian cultural sites, which would be a war crime. But his hit of Soleimani may be a war crime already, so what the hell?

Being a troll has made Iran call for more revenge…and to troll Trump right back by posting photos of large protests in Iran and asking Trump (who loves to boast and lie about his large crowds) if he’s ever seen a crowd so large.

If Trump is going to destroy Iranian cultural sites and be in the same class as the Taliban, he’ll need someone to tell him which sites are cultural. You see, Donald Trump isn’t just a man without class, taste, ethics, principles, or manners. He’s also devoid of all culture. This is a guy who believes McDonald’s is great food. He’s a guy who enjoys a burnt steak slobbered in ketchup. This is a guy who catered campaign strategy sessions with hot dogs. Eating with Donald Trump has been described as like eating at an eight-year-old’s birthday party.

Let’s hope the military can refuse to follow a presidential directive if the president is directing them to break the law. But then again, he may have already done that and they complied.

Trump has been fortunate in that he hasn’t had a real crisis during his presidency. But he’s going to change that.  Trump created this crisis with Iran, a nation who our history didn’t start with Trump tearing up the nuclear agreement or even in 1979.

So maybe when staffers are pointing out Iranian cultural sites to Donald Trump, they will also provide him with a history lesson. Just don’t forget the hot dogs.

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Death By Nuggets

cjones04232017

I’m gonna be honest about this cartoon. I don’t think I’m really doing what I should be doing with it. How often do you hear a cartoonist say that?

I like the cartoon. It made me laugh when I thought of it as I was going to sleep. But while I was drawing it I kept having second thoughts. It’s because it hits McDonald’s, who doesn’t deserve any love, but they’re harmless in this and the one I should be hitting is Facebook.

Facebook has given a platform for people to do not just stupid stuff, but truly horrible acts, like murder. There have also been rapes and assaults on Facebook Live. Even if it didn’t have all that negative crap going for it, just the constant notifications that one of my “friends” is doing a live video is reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally annoying. Cut it out, fuckers.

I don’t even hate McDonald’s. I do hate that they only put half a slice of cheese on a fish sandwich. I hate with much prejudice and anger their chicken nuggets. They act like they invented the chicken nuggets and they taste what I imagine a loofah would taste like.

Anthony Bourdain, who has eaten a Yak’s fried anus, says the McDonald’s chicken nugget is the very worst thing he’s ever placed in his mouth. People who like McDonald’s nuggets, and who are not children, baffle me more than poor minorities who voted for Donald Trump. I just can’t figure that shit out.

So to sum up, Sorry, Mickey D’s but you kinda deserve it. Facebook, I’ll get you next time and I know there will be a next time. Friends, stop doing that Facebook-Live shit. Also, cut out the selfies and food pics. You’re pretty, you’re hungry, we get it. Now stop.

My next cartoon will hit injustice right in the face which should make up for me just having some fun this afternoon.

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McSpooky

utah10242015

I drew this for The Independent in St. George, Utah.

I like McDonald’s fair enough. I can’t eat their stuff as often as I could when I was younger. I have walked into the place over the past couple years and changed my mind from the grease smell. Other times I’ve chowed down on a Big Mac. I still love their fries…if I can get them fresh. I’m pretty psyched I can get a McGriddle now after 11:00 AM. I don’t know if I’ll ever do but I like knowing I can.

I don’t kid myself. McDonald’s is not healthy food. Those salads are just for show. It’s definitely not something you want to get your children hooked on. I know as a parent I fed my son way too much of it, but to be honest, he just wanted the toy and would ignore his Happy Meal.

Having a contest to see which kid can gorge himself the most and the fastest isn’t just stupid, it’s destructive. It’s a contest to see which child they can encourage to slowly kill himself.

To be honest, after drawing this I kinda want a Big Mac. Just one. It’s not a contest.

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McHillary

cjones10072015

Meanwhile all the Republican presidential candidates have come out against Burger King’s new Black Bun Whopper.

Gocomics is a site where editorial cartoons usually receives the most reader comments. I predict there will be less comments about Hillary Clinton being indecisive and rebranding herself, and more about McDonald’s serving breakfast all day.

I have to admit, I’m pretty psyched about getting a McGriddle at four in the afternoon. The McGriddle might be the greatest invention of the modern era.

I’m sure as Hell not going to try that black bun burger…or anything from Burger King. Bleagh!

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