LIV Golf

LIVing For Blood Money


It’s after 4:00 pm on a Sunday, a day most cartoonists don’t work, and I already wrote a blog on this subject, so you’re not getting much of one today. I have a dinner invitation to meet in 45 minutes and I’d like to make it. Enjoy the cartoon, but…

Donald Trump buried his ex-wife, Ivana (ex number one out of three) at his New Jersey golf course. She’s at the first tee. I’m not making this up.

You wonder how Trump can sell out our country to Russia and Saudi Arabia and then you remember this is an asshole burying the mother of three of his five children at his golf course for a tax break. Keep in mind that he announced her passing in a fundraising email to his supporters. My ex-wife died, no. Not Melania, mother of my fifth kid. No, not Marla, mother of my fourth, Ivana, the mother of my first three, one of them being named Ivanka. I’m sad but a small donation to my super PAC would cheer me up.

When did this shit stop being weird?

I get the impression Trump is being cheap for burying her at Bedminster because he gets the tax break, doesn’t have to shell out for a burial plot, he already has a ground crew that has to cut the grass, and there’s not much of a marker for her grave. There’s just a plate in the ground with her name, birth date, and death date. The fucker couldn’t even shell out for a proper inscription. Even the flowers on the grave look like they were bought at 7/11. I have friends who’ve done more for their dog’s burial plot than Trump did for the mother of three of his kids.

And now, I’m going to start a rumor that Jimmy Hoffa is buried at Bedminster.

Creative note: I wrote this blog yesterday and was so quick to take a shower and make my appointment, that I forgot to click “publish.” Oops!

Music note: More Kaiser Chiefs plus The Killers.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Sportswashing 9/11


We’ve always known Donald Trump puts himself before anyone or anything else. Presidential oath be damned. Donald Trump only cares about Donald Trump.

Donald Trump will sell out everyone he knows. He will sell out his country. Sometimes he does it for power. Sometimes he does it for his ego. And sometimes, he does it for cash.

Trump tried to steal an election for power. Now, he’s selling out America and the victims of 9/11 for cash. Just how much are the Saudis paying Trump to host two of their golf tournaments?

The first Saudi golf tournament to be hosted by Trump is this weekend at his shitty golf course in New Jersey. The next will be at one of his shitty golf courses in Florida. There will be protests at both, but Trump doesn’t care to listen to the victims of 9/11. In fact, when asked about the Saudi connection to 9/11, Trump gaslighted, which in this case, is sportswashing.

Trump used to blame Saudi Arabia for 9/11. But yesterday, just 50 miles from the site of the World Trade Center, destroyed by two hijacked airplanes, of which 15 of the 19 hijackers were Saudi, Trump said, ““Nobody’s gotten to the bottom of 9/11, unfortunately. And they should have, as to the maniacs that did that horrible thing to our city, to the country, to the world. So nobody’s really been there, but I can tell you that there are a lot of really great people that are out here today, and we’re gonna have a lot of fun, and we’re going to celebrate.”

What?

Trump is from New York City. He was in the city that day. Granted, he lied about being at 9/11 shortly after the attack to lend assistance, but he knows what happened.

Previously, Trump’s main focus from 9/11 was that the destruction of the twin towers might have made one of his buildings the tallest in Manhattan.

As for history lessons from Trump, he once talked about the airports during the American Revolution. He repeated Putin’s lie that Afghanistan invaded the Soviet Union in 1979, and not the other way around, which is the truth. And now, he’s lying for murderers and killers.

Donald Trump hasn’t just disrespected the survivors and families of 9/11. He’s trampling on our ideals and values. And just like every single golfer playing in LIV tournaments he’s ignoring that the money is coming from Mohammed bin Salman, the man who ordered the murder of Washington Post journalist Jamal Khashoggi. It runs in the family because Jared also ignored that while taking $2 billion from MBS.

Remember when we used to say “never forget” about 9/11? Donald Trump isn’t just forgetting. He’s making shit up. There are a lot of crazy fucknut conspiracies from Qanon about 9/11. Marjorie Taylor Greene once said it was a hoax. Trump is a big fan of conspiracy theories. His entire election steal was based on them. Now, he’s giving his “credibility” to the Qnuts and their 9/11 conspiracy theories.

I hope at some point during this weekend’s tournament for Saudi blood money that a gopher crawls up inside Trump’s pants leg and bites him in his tiny orange goober. I hate to wish that on the gopher, but he’d at least get some hush money not to tell the world that Trump’s penis looks like Toad from Mario Kart.

How did I end this blog on that note?

Music note: I listened to Alien Ant Farm, the Smashing Pumpkins, and Gorillaz while drawing this.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Caddy Hacks


Saudi Arabia is attempting to repair its reputation with the world after decades of bloody human rights violations. The future king of the nation, Mohammed bin Salman, is directly responsible for the murder of Jamal Khashoggi, a Saudi national who was a journalist for The Washington Post and under U.S. protection. So, what’s the best way for a nation with decades of human rights violations to make friends with the rest of the planet again? Stop abusing human rights? Of course not. No, the best way is to engage in sports. Saudi Arabia is “sportwashing” its reputation.

The oil-rich kingdom has bought an English Premier League soccer team, Newcastle United. They built a new race track in Jeddah and now have the Saudi Arabian Grand Prix, a Formula One racing event. World Wrestling Entertainment has been holding pay-per-view events in Saudi Arabia, even allowing the kingdom to decide if women can perform and if they do, how they dress. And, now the kingdom has golf.

A lot of people are upset over Saudi Arabia becoming involved in international sports. Mostly, they’re upset that so many people have a price to look away from human rights violations. The PGA is very upset over the new golf league, though their anger is probably less about human rights and more about competition.

The PGA has banned golfers who choose to play for LIV. That didn’t stop golf legend Greg Norman from becoming LIV’s CEO.

Another golf legend, Phil Mickelson, criticized Saudi Arabia’s human rights record and called the Saudis “scary motherfuckers to be involved with.” They are so scary that it takes about $200 million to get over that fear. That’s the reported contract Mickelson signed to join LIV golf.

Mickelson said, “I don’t condone human rights violations. I don’t know how else I can be any more clear.” Ooh, ooh, ooh…I know! You could be more clear that you don’t condone human rights violations by NOT taking blood money from Saudi Arabia. But maybe I just don’t understand golf.

Even though I don’t understand golf that well, I do understand that you don’t go into business with people who take a bone saw and dismember their critics. I try not to go into business with scary motherfuckers. I have the same policy of not going into business with Trumpers. I’m still owed over $2,000 the last time I did that (though I went into that agreement not realizing they were MAGAts).

It’s no surprise that Vince McMahon, the founder of the WWE and creator of Wrestlemania has a price to overlook human rights violations. I mean, this guy has been making billions for decades in an industry that sends his performers to early graves. Seriously, wrestlers have a habit of dying before 60. And it’s no surprise that Donald Trump has a price to ignore human rights violations. He displayed that when he was gooning up the White House and hosted MBS in the Oval Office. And since the PGA does have somewhat of a conscience and has pulled out of holding tournaments at Trump’s crappy golf resorts over his racism and insurrections, he has no problem taking LIV’s blood money to host a tournament at Doral.

You’re probably familiar with Trump National Doral in Miami by its catchphrase, “Ask us about our bedbugs.” That resort has been in financial decline for years. In 2019, it was reported that its operating income had fallen by 69 percent. Being the grifter he is, Trump tried to host the G7 Summit at Doral. Trump’s name is about as enticing as the opportunity to sleep with bedbugs.

Grifting runs in the family. After four years of making excuses for Saudi Arabia’s murders and helping them procure arms deals with the U.S, Jared Kushner has been given $2 billion as an “investment” from the Saudis. Now, his wife’s father gets his kickback from the Saudi government.

Normally, the only way Trump can pump cash into Doral is by holding campaign events, funded by the Trump Campaign, which is funded by his supporters. Before you label Trump as a genius grifter, keep in mind that the people he’s grifting are morons. Doral is also the home for the $10,000 portrait of Trump he bought for himself with money from the Trump charity.

How much is Trump being paid by MBS to host one of their crappy golf tournaments at Club Itchy-n-Scratchy (I bet you a MyPillow none of the Saudi royals actually spend the night at Doral)? I don’t know yet but don’t make a mistake about it. This is a bribe. And, it’s a legal bribe. The Saudi monarchs are paying Trump off for all he did for them while he was president (sic). His first foreign trip as “president” was to Saudi Arabia. Remember the sword dance and Trump with and the royals next to the creepy glowing globe?

Saudi money goes a long way. You saw how easy it was for Phil Mickelson to go from “scary mothers” to “pay me.” Now even President Biden, pressured by oil prices, has gone from promising to make Saudi Arabia a pariah to planning a visit to the nation where he’ll probably sit down for a chat with Captain Bonesaw himself, Mohammed bin Salman.

Don’t expect Saudi Arabia to comply with basic human rights any time soon.

Music Note: This one took a while to draw so I had time to listen to music. I listened to a lot of Foo Fighters because I discovered their B-sides and demos, which I haven’t listened to in about two decades because they’ve been hard to find, are now on Apple Music.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw: