Lindsey Graham

Human Scum


cjones10272019

Lindsey Graham has been representing South Carolina in Congress since 1995, and he doesn’t want to stop. If advocating a principle, even one he used to stand by, threatens his political existence, then principles be damned.

In 2015, while running for president and describing what Trump was “selling,” Graham said, “Here’s what you’re buying: He’s a race-baiting, xenophobic religious bigot. He doesn’t represent my party. He doesn’t represent the values that the men and women who wear the uniform are fighting for.”

In 2018, after Trump attacked black athletes, Graham said, “He’s not, in my view, a racist by any stretch of the imagination. I have never heard him make a single racist statement. Not even close.” OK, so if Graham never heard him make a “single racist statement,” then why did he call him a “race-baiting, xenophobic religious bigot?” Could it be that Lindsey Graham is a hypocrite?

I have one question for Graham: Were you wrong in 2015 or are you wrong now?

Now, with the impeachment inquiry into Donald Trump gaining traction (because Trump is guilty), Graham is losing his shit defending Trump. Unable to defend against the charges, accusations, and statements by witnesses, Graham has been running to the media, crying about the process, and yesterday, he introduced a resolution condemning the impeachment inquiry. Remember, this is an inquiry. The public hearings haven’t started yet.

Less than two weeks ago after Trump betrayed our Kurdish allies in Syria, Lindsey must have found his testicles at the bottom of a mint julep because he came out (not that kind of coming out) strongly against Trump’s move. Graham called the move “irresponsible,” a “stain on America’s honor,” and the “biggest blunder of his presidency.” Graham vowed to be Trump’s “worst nightmare” and introduced legislation sanctioning Turkey for invading Syria. And then…

Then Donald Trump said, “I am the boss” and told Graham to focus on other things, like going after his accusers. Donald Trump Jr. started a social media campaign going after Lindsey, encouraging him to go after the impeachment process, and Daddy Trump summoned him to the White House.

Lickspittle Lindsey emerged from the White House saying he’s “impressed” Trump is “thinking outside the box” on Syria, removed his legislation sanctioning Turkey, marched into the Senate TV studio, and announced legislation condemning the impeachment process. Graham went from being Trump’s “worst nightmare” to his wet dream.

Graham went after the impeachment saying, “The attempted impeachment of President Trump is out of bounds,” and described it as a “Star-chamber-type inquiry, a runaround, off-script, wrong, a rogue action, very dangerous.” Then he screamed, “If we were doing this, you’d be beating the shit out of us!” Well, he must be shitless because he did do it.

Back in 1999, Lindsey was a HUGE advocate for impeaching President Bill Clinton. The Starr investigation went after Clinton on a bad land deal. Unable to find him guilty of a crime, Kenneth Starr continued his investigation until he finally found one. Clinton has been accused of everything from aggressive flirting to rape, and all they could get on the guy was a lie before a grand jury over a consensual sex act. That was enough for Lindsey to impeach. To Lindsey, lying about consensual sex is worse than holding military aid from a foreign nation in a war against Russia in exchange for political favors.

Back in 1999, Graham said, “A president’s failure to comply with subpoenas was impeachable because it “took the power from Congress.” Now, as Trump defies subpoenas,” Graham doesn’t want Congress to share power with the presidency and be one of the three branches of government. Graham only wants one branch and that limb is Trump.

Graham has been complaining about the impeachment hearings being held in private. When it was pointed out that depositions were held in private during Watergate and Whitewater, Graham said, “The inquiry itself became very public.” And so will these. But, Graham and his cohorts can’t attack the substance. They can’t defend Trump.

After House Republicans stormed a secure room where the impeachment hearings were being held on Wednesday, Graham said they were “nuts” and “that’s not the way to do it.” He must have gotten another phone call because he later tweeted, “CORRECTION … I understand their frustration and they have good reason to be upset.”

Graham even defended Trump’s use of “lynching” to describe the impeachment process and then co-opted the word for his own use.

Donald Trump called Republicans, like Mitt Romney, who aren’t loyal to him or blindly obedient, “human scum.” I think that term is more fitting for those who bail on defending their nation, abandoning law and order, wanting to take power away from Congress to serve an authoritarian president and in the process, abandoning every principle they once stood for.

1999 Lindsey Graham was on the wrong side, but he was right about subpoenas and the power of Congress. 2019 Lindsey Graham is just wrong, a hypocrite, no principles, ethics, or shame. He’s human scum.

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Transparent President?


cjones05102019

For Donald Trump, claiming he’s the “most transparent president ever,” would be like saying you’re honest while stealing from a charity.

It’d be like saying you’re a great businessman and writing a book called “Art of the Deal” during a decade of losing over a billion dollars.

It’d be like saying, “I’m the least racist person ever” while building a racist vanity project to keep out brown people.”

It’d be like attacking a Congresswoman for antisemitism after you’ve retweeted Nazis.

It’d be like complaining about undocumented workers after you’ve hired undocumented workers.

It’d be like attacking Democrats for sexual scandals after you’ve paid women to keep quiet about your diddling them.

It’d be like complaining about antisemitism after you’ve called for a ban on Muslims, called someone “Pocahontas,” accused Black Lives Matter of being thugs, referred to nations where brown people come from as “shithole countries,” called Mexicans “rapists” and “murderers,” accused black women of being dumb, said a judge is unfit because he’s of Mexican lineage, referred to immigrants as “animals,” engaged in birtherism, or praised Nazis.

It’d be like saying you’ll only hire the best people then hiring your daughter, your son-in-law, Betsy Devos, Ben Carson, Rick Perry, Omarosa, William Barr, Jeff Sessions, Sean Spicer, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, Stephen Miller, Steve Bannon, etc.

It’d be like saying, “I know more than the generals” while believing there are invisible airplanes.

It’d be like claiming you’re a great negotiator then after receiving an offer, negotiating yourself down to receiving nothing.

It’s like giving your opponents nicknames like “Crooked Hillary” and “Lyin’ Ted” then telling over 10,000 lies.

It’d be like saying you love America and you’re a patriot while ignoring that Russia meddled in our last election and is planning to do it again in the next one.

It’d be like saying, “I’ll own the shutdown,” then later saying, “They did it.”

It’d be like saying, “No one understands science more than I do” while believing noise from windmills causes cancer.

It’d be like complaining that Facebook’s bans on racists are a threat to the First Amendment while declaring there should be laws restricting a free press.

It’d be like complaining about “fake news” while retweeting conspiracy theories.

It’d be like saying you’re a “young and vibrant man” while looking like THAT.

It’d be like making fun of someone else’s hair while wearing a bleached mongoose on your head.

It’d be like questioning if Obama was born in the United States while lying where your father was born.

It’d be like complaining about someone not releasing their college transcripts while hiding your college transcripts.

It’d be like complaining about someone staging a hate crime after you’ve encouraged your rally attendants to assault black people.

It’d be like saying, “no one respects women more than I do” while grabbing them by the pussy.

It’d be like complaining about Antifa when your supporters are mailing bombs to Democrats and journalists.

It’d be like saying, “No one’s more presidential than I am” while you’re dry humping a flag.

It’d be like “writing” a book when you’re illiterate.

It’d be like saying you support our troops after you’ve said a POW is not a war hero and feuded with Gold Star families.

It’d like accusing Joe Biden of being creepy after you’ve stated that if you two weren’t related, you’d be dating your daughter.

It’d be like accusing Democrats of colluding with Russia after you invited Russians into your campaign headquarters.

It’d be like claiming you’re a family man after you had three divorces and children from three different women.

It’d be like saying you don’t support Nazis after you hired Stephen Miller.

Yeah, it’d be like that.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

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Nom Nom Make Boom Boom


cjones10032018

Supreme Court, accused sex offender, and chronic liar Brett Kavanaugh described yesterday’s hearing as a circus, which was an insult to circuses. Somewhere, there’s a pissed off clown. Bozo said, “Don’t drag me into this shit. Honk! Honk!”

Naturally, the hearing hasn’t changed many minds over who you believe. But, the one thing it did demonstrate is that even if he’s not a man who has had problems with alcohol and assaulting women, Brett Kavanaugh does not have the temperament, mind, independence, coherence, or personality to sit on the Supreme Court.

Kavanaugh, who is already a judge, dodged, ignored, and quibbled through questions while using the drunk choir boy defense. Sometimes, he threw questions back at Senators, such as after being asked if he ever drank to the point of blacking out.

He treated the Senators and public as though they’re stupid. When asked about writings on his calendar and yearbook, he gave definitions that were outright lies that only an idiot or a Republican could believe.

He explained that “boofing” was a reference for flatulence and not sex. He said the Renate Alumni wasn’t a club for guys who claimed they had “boofed” a girl named Renate, but a gang who held her in high respect. Being in the “Ralph club” wasn’t about vomiting from a lot of alcohol, but from a queasy stomach from spicy food. He explained that the “Devil’s Triangle” is not a sex reference with three people, as most people and the Urban Dictionary believes, but a drinking game with quarters. In fact, within minutes, someone from inside the capitol building changed the definition of “Devil’s Triangle” on Wikipedia, which can also explain Kavanaugh’s calendar from 1982.

I was a teenager in 1982 and I am not familiar with any of the definitions he gave. To be fair, I’m not an idiot or a Republican. As Rachel Maddow said (pert near) a few weeks ago, Republicans in charge of the government is a great example of why we don’t let dogs drive cars.

When pressed to call for an FBI investigation, Kavanaugh wouldn’t even answer and kept saying how much he wanted an immediate hearing, despite that these procedures are controlled by Republicans.

When asked by Senator Dick Durbin about his friend Mark Judge, and who Christine Blasey Ford says is a witness, and if the description of a character in his book, “Wasted Tales of a Teenage Drunk,” was him, Kavanaugh said Durbin would have to ask Judge. His answer highlighted the absurdity of the hearing as Durbin can’t ask Judge. The GOP won’t allow witnesses and Judge is currently hiding in a beach house in Delaware. How bad is it that he had to escape to Delaware? Is that why it took forever to find Wesley Snipes? Saddam and Bin Laden should have considered the state for a hiding space.

Dr. Blasey Ford was asked who paid for her polygraph test, which she has passed and Kavanaugh refuses to take (her lawyers paid for it) as if she created this entire story and ordeal to get a free polygraph test out of it. Maybe, someone should ask who’s paying for Mark Judge’s Delaware vacation.

Mark Judge had a letter delivered to the Senate denying any memory of the event (which isn’t a denial). The affidavit  is against the threat of perjury. I’m guessing risking perjury isn’t as great of a risk of being charged with sexual assault charges, where Maryland, the state where Blasey Ford says the assault took place, does not have a statute of limitations.

Blasey Ford was asked questions by a professional prosecutor who is a female. Orrin Hatch demonstrated the wise choice for the all-white Republican male membership on the committee not to ask the questions when describing her testimony; he stated that Blasey Ford is attractive. Shortly after the prosecutor started asking Kavanaugh questions, the GOP fired her on the spot and started asking questions themselves…or more or less, giving rhetorical speeches laced with fake outrage and condescension in defense of the nominee.

Kavanaugh was combative. He was a crier. He cried when he described how his father saved calendars. He claimed the accusations came from people trying to get revenge for the Clintons and upset over Donald Trump’s election victory. This shows he’s too partisan and conspiracy-minded for the court, even if he isn’t gropy.

Hillary Clinton testified before the Senate in 2016 for eleven hours and never cried or shouted once. If she had, she would have been described as “shrill,” “hysterical,” and lacking the temperament and disposition for the presidency. If Blasey Ford had acted that way, instead of slightly nervous, very descriptive, believable, credible, and intelligent, they would have used the same descriptions for her. I actually heard a few conservatives complain about the sound of her voice. Fox News fired contributor Kevin Jackson yesterday after he tweeted that Blasey Ford is a “lying skank.”

Lindsey Graham matched Kavanaugh’s histrionics yesterday and scolded the Democrats for bringing the accusation forward, which was actually made before Kavanaugh was nominated. Graham also promised to match the tactics he’s accusing the Democrats of, which is to bring false charges against their nominees in the future. Lindsey Graham chucked his principles with his old phone number that Trump gave out publicly.

Lindsey Graham does not belong on the Judiciary Committee or even in the United States Senate, just like Brett Kavanaugh doesn’t belong on the Supreme Court. The American Bar Association has rescinded their endorsement of him and is calling for an FBI investigation, which the Republicans will ignore and cram through a vote on the nominee.

Republican Senator John Kennedy asked Kavanaugh if he can swear to God that the accusations aren’t true, and he did.

Brett Kavanaugh can swear to God, but he can’t swear to the FBI. That’s because the FBI exists.

Your support in the form of donations is appreciated. I am fully independent as I’m not employed by a newspaper or with a major syndicate (leaving one to be independent). It does take a lot of work to provide you with cartoons, columns, and videos almost every day (more than any other political cartoonist), and I don’t charge my clients much at all. If you can, please consider making a financial contribution to keep the fun flowing, or purchase a signed print for $40. Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!!

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

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Until Sand Glows In The Dark


cjones12182015

Ted Cruz says if he’s elected president, he’ll carpet bomb ISIS until sand glows in the dark. I know Senator Cruz loves portraits of himself, but does he own carpet? Does he know how it works? He says he’ll avoid bombing cities with his carpet bombing as he’ll only bomb where ISIS is located. If he can take his own head out of the sand (or a certain part of his anatomy) then maybe he’ll realize ISIS is in Mosul, Ramadi, Raqqa, Fallujah, and Hawija. Those, Senator Cruz, are cities.

Donald Trump promises he’ll “bomb the bleep out of them” and plans to put hits on terrorists’ families.  Marco Rubio wants to insert ground troops. Chris Christie says we’re in World War III, and in case war with ISIS doesn’t bring Armageddon fast enough, he’ll take pot shots at Russian planes. Lindsey Graham says he misses George W. Bush and wishes he was still president. On top of all that they’re waging a campaign that we’re at war with Islam. This is the kind of stuff that’s music to the ears of ISIS and they use it to recruit new fighters.

The funny and scary thing is all of these candidates’ solutions to destroy ISIS are the very things that created ISIS.

These candidates claim they want to defeat ISIS. Maybe they’ll actually help with that after providing recruiting material for future ISIS newsletters.

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Trump!!!


cjones06182015

I’m really excited Donald Trump is actually in the race. He’s not pretending this time. He’s not teasing the nation’s cartoonists and comedians. He’s actually running. This is going to be good.

I’m also surprised he’s actually running. I felt he wouldn’t for a few reasons. One being that he wouldn’t invest his own money into such a horrible endeavor, stock, product, item, etc. The other reason is I figured he wouldn’t want to actually lose. Will what stock he has as a viable commentator on politics be diminished by his losing? Maybe not as several candidates get Fox News gigs after losing.

This will be fun. He’s going to throw bomb after bomb embarrassing his party. He’s already started. He’s ostracized every Mexican on the planet by saying they’re rapists. He’s attacked Jeb Bush for not wearing a tie. He’s pissed off Neil Young by using his song (he’s now using a Bachman Turner Overdrive song which makes me wonder why he’s only using music made by Canadians). To pack the room at his announcement he paid actors to attend and cheer. The entrance on the escalator was awesome. He’s also stated he wants Oprah Winfrey as his running mate. Unfortunately he’ll have to win the nomination before naming a running mate. Oh my God. Can you imagine a Trump/Palin ticket? I would run out of ink.

Thank you, Donald Trump. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Say something else!

Know what’s funnier than Trump running? A lot of people want to vote for him. We have a lot of stupid in this country.

I actually had a hard time coming up with an idea. I rejected a lot of ideas. It seemed everything was obvious and being done. I am not going to make any clown references, especially a clown car reference. I try to say something in my cartoons that nobody else is saying, or find a different way to say it. Trump actually made that hard because he’s too easy. I decided to focus on the damage he’s bringing to the Republican party.

I didn’t get a birthday gift from anyone this year except Donald Trump.

Republicans With Some Jiggle


cjones06032015

A lot of readers make comments about the way I draw boobs. I can’t wait to see what they say after seeing this.

Yes, I have a demented sense of humor. But I’d rather have this demented sense of humor than draw a cartoon about how the stage isn’t big enough for the number of candidates or draw a clown car.

I’m really getting sick of the clown car analogy and this time I can’t blame conservatives. If you’re a political analyst and use the clown car analogy, then you should stop being an analyst and just post memes on Facebook.

I don’t post political memes on social media. I draw cartoons.