Las Vegas

Concrete Evidence

Lake Mead is a Colorado River reservoir just 30 minutes outside Las Vegas. Former Vegas Mayor Oscar Goodman said Monday. “It’s not a bad place to dump a body.” Well, now it is.

Climate Change is an international crisis and it’s affecting everyone, whether they know it or not. Republicans in fucknut Florida claim it doesn’t exist while their state is slowly going underwater. In other locations, lakes and rivers are drying up. In the United States, we’re slowly losing Tulare Lake, Salton Sea, Pyramid Lake, Owens Lake, Mono Lake, and Lake Mead. Lake Mead is starting to reveal secrets.

The water level in Lake Mead has dropped more than 170 feet since 1983. Mayor Goodman is a lawyer who used to have Vegas mobsters as clients, and he said they were always very interested in “climate control,” which was mob code for keeping the lake level up and bodies down in their watery graves. Two sets of human remains have emerged in Lake Mead over the past week.

One of the bodies was found in a barrel and authorities say the person was shot.

Michael Green, a University of Nevada, Las Vegas history professor whose father dealt blackjack for decades at the Stardust and the Showboat, said, “If the lake goes down much farther, it’s very possible we’re going to have some very interesting things surface. I wouldn’t bet the mortgage that we’re going to solve who killed Bugsy Siegel, but I would be willing to bet there are going to be a few more bodies.”

Las Vegas was founded by the mafia with Bugsy Siegel being a driving force behind it. This isn’t a whispered-about secret. There’s a mob museum in Las Vegas. What was once a dried-up little desert town founded in 1905 started to grow with the construction of the nearby Hoover Dam, reduced residency for divorce, and the legalization of casino gambling, all in 1931. Now the U.S. Census predicts Nevada (in case you’re a Republican, that’s where Las Vegas is located) will be the fastest-growing state for the next two decades and by 2030, Las Vegas will have over four million residents. Right now, the population of the city is a little over 640,000.

The mafia is responsible for the creation of the nation’s most popular gambling destination, but the days of celebrity mobsters may be over. The bodies people are finding are from decades ago and while there are predictions more bodies will be found as Lake Mead dries up, most won’t be from mob hits. Sorry to ruin it for you.

Sure, a body in a barrel is a pretty good sign the mob was responsible, but most bodies may be from other murders or just swimming and boating accidents. Professor Green pointed out, “People will talk about this for the right reasons and the wrong reasons. They’re going to think we’re going to solve every mob murder. In fact, we may see some. But it’s also worth remembering that the mob did not like murders to take place in the Las Vegas area because they did not like bad publicity going out under the Las Vegas dateline.” Ever hear the expression, “Don’t shit where you eat?”

While discovering bodies in barrels is intriguing and adds to mob folklore, it’s the wrong focus on a lake evaporating. The real focus here should be Climate Change.

The mob will never kill as many people as Climate Change kills, which is blamed for over 250,000 deaths annually.

A grandmother dying from heatstroke in August because she can’t afford air conditioning may not be as glamorous as goons shooting Bugsy Siegel in the back of his head in Beverly Hills, but it’s the death we should be talking about. We still don’t know who killed Bugsy or why, but we know who’s killing grandma. Not to mention that cities like Las Vegas are having to find alternative sources of water.

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Lemony Bloomberg

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Here’s your cartoon for CNN’s weekly newsletter, Provoke/Persuade. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday for the rest of your life.

Someone said something close to “no one has ever lost as much money in one night in Las Vegas than Michael Bloomberg.” The guy has spent millions of his own money running for president only to be eviscerated by Elizabeth Warren.

While Warren successfully tore Bloomberg down, it doesn’t seem to have helped her with gaining delegates. Sure, her donations increased, but she’s still trailing nearly all the other candidates. It’s kinda like when Christ Christie destroyed Marco Rubio in a debate and the only person it helped was Donald Trump. Hell, Trump didn’t even make the guy his veep (which he expected) or give him a cabinet position. But I understand he did get some meatloaf and the opportunity to make fast food runs for Trump.

Yesterday, I made a post that Bloomberg is my top choice among the Democratic candidates…based upon my ability to caricature them. That confused people and sent many into a panic. C’mon, people. If I was going to vote based upon how easy it is to draw them and give me material, I’d be voting for Trump and would have voted for him in 2016. But there’s no way in Hell that I would ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever cast a vote for Michael Bloomberg.

Unless he’s the nominee against Donald Trump.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

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Bloomy’s Slutty Slots

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Did I mention in the last blog after the debate that Michael Bloomberg had a lousy night?

It wasn’t just that Bloomberg got kicked in the teeth by Elizabeth Warren all night long, but that he wasn’t prepared at all. For example, at one point, he criticized Bernie Sanders for owning three homes despite being a socialist. At last count, Bloomberg owned at least 12 homes. In case you’re a Republican, 12 is more than three.

But it was Warren inflicting the most damage. If Bloomberg wasn’t a billionaire funding his own campaign, his campaign would be over. Bloomy didn’t just have to answer for his racist “stop and frisk” policy he enacted as mayor of New York City, but also for sexist comments he’s made at his business and for multiple non-disclosure agreements with female staffers.

Another great example of Bloomberg being unprepared was his defense of the NDAs as being for the protection of the women’s privacy. And as Warren pointed out, one of his defenses was that he’s been nice to some women. He also wasn’t prepared for Warren’s challenge to release all women from his company’s NDAs. Warren continued that challenge after the debate.

Elizabeth Warren used to teach contract law at Harvard. She crafted a release form for those who have signed NDAs with Bloomberg and his company and challenged him to sign it. She said, “”All that Mayor Bloomberg has to do is download it. I’ll text it. Sign it and then the women or men will be free to speak and tell their own stories.”

Yesterday, Bloomberg offered to release three women from their NDAs and free them to tell their sides of the story. Are these NDAs over harassment or discrimination at his company? Were they drawn up over the behavior of managers at his company or Bloomberg himself? At the debate, Bloomberg said, “None of them have accused me of doing anything, other than maybe they didn’t like a joke.”

That’s not good enough for Warren. She said, “Mike Bloomberg and his company should issue a blanket waiver so anyone who wants to come forward can come forward, with or without Bloomberg’s prior permission.” She’s right. Even the three releases he’s offered require the women to contact his company. Do those releases require other forms to sign? Do they need to sign an NDA to be released from their NDAs?

Bloomberg needs to “man-up” and offer a blanket waiver that doesn’t require those who have signed NDAs to contact or go through his company. Warren pointed out that we don’t know how many women have signed NDAs at his company. What do you want to bet it’s more than three?

At one of his racist fucknut rallies, Donald Trump said Bloomberg spent $500 million to be embarrassed by “Pocahontas.” Trump may want to pay more attention because what Warren is doing to Bloomberg is just practice for what she’ll do to him. I for one would love to see how she would respond to his racist slur while sharing a debate stage.

Michael Bloomberg’s presidential campaign is a loser and I don’t think he’s rich enough to make Democrats forget his debate performance. He’s not rich enough to convince Democrats that we need to replace an arrogant, sexist billionaire with another arrogant, sexist billionaire.

Instead of participating in the Las Vegas debate, Bloomy should have hit the casinos. Versus his presidential campaign, he would have lost a lot less money on the slots.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From 

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It Happened in Vegas

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The lieutenant governor of Nevada said yesterday was a great day for America. It was a great day for us because we all came together. Strangers helped strangers. Blood drives are over capacity. Go-Fund-Me’s are raising millions of dollars. The president slowly read through a prepared script and momentarily didn’t sound like an insane douche bag. We are giving each other thoughts and prayers. What a great day. What a crock of horse shit.

How about we stop having these great days when we all have to come together and give thoughts and prayers? Why can’t we have horrible days, like they do in Japan, Sweden, England, Canada, Australia, and everywhere else on the planet where they don’t have to constantly be coming together to give each other thoughts and prayers because this shit doesn’t happen anywhere else at the rate it happens in America.

And the thing is, Las Vegas isn’t anymore dangerous than any other place in the nation. That means, it can be dangerous at any given moment. How about it stop being potentially life-threatening to go to an outdoor concert, or a movie theater, or a university, or a gay nightclub, or an elementary school, or a church, etc?

We don’t know the shooter’s motives yet because he’s not brown with a beard. We don’t know what restrictions to place on us other than ignoring our gun laws. Did the guy suffer from a health crisis? Was he mentally unstable? Did he have gambling debts? Did his girlfriend just dump him? Did he really hate that Big Green Tractor song? Do we ban bad health, gambling, girlfriends, and crappy, corny, gag-inducing country songs or just all songs about tractors? Because we’re not going to touch our gun laws.

Our Second Amendment is really important. If you listen to conservatives, it means we should have access to anything that has been built to kill people. Did the founding fathers want us to have nuclear weapons or mustard gas, or does it stop at semi-automatic weapons with magazines capable of holding up to 30 bullets?

I stayed out of the online debates today, but I read a few. One of my conservative fucktard friend’s first priorities was to defend guns. He said they weren’t built to kill, they were built for sportsmen and defending your family. That’s some more bullshit. When was the last time you read about a guy needing an Uzi to defend his family from a burglary or to stop a holdup at a Starbucks? Why is it a violation of your freedom to restrict the amount of ammunition one has, or the number of semi-automatic rifles one owns. Would it violate your freedom if we stop selling semi-automatic rifles that can easily be made into automatic weapons with a $50 converting kit and a YouTube video? Why do innocent people have to do die because you have to compensate for your tiny penis?

We don’t change our gun laws. We even made it easier for mentally unstable people and sketchy people on the no-fly list to buy guns. And, we have thoughts and prayers. Each time this happens we give thoughts and prayers. And when it happens again, we give more thoughts and prayers, and we do it the next time and the next time. I’m starting to think thoughts and prayers aren’t enough.

I’ve already seen a few cartoons on this. The conservative cartoonists (and there are several) didn’t touch the gun subject. They had Uncle Sam hugging, or Hell was waiting for the bad guy. Bad guys don’t go to Hell. Bad guys rent corner suites on the 32nd floor overlooking an outdoor concert and bring Hell to everyone else. The bad guy has over 23 semi-automatic weapons in his hotel suite because they’re easy to purchase in America, and he had 19 more at home. When the rare shooting does occur in another nation, you don’t hear of the bad guy owning 42 fucking guns.

Am I the only one this sounds ridiculous to? Forty-two guns. Our freedom mandates someone can own 42 guns? I don’t think I own 42 of anything. Hell, I only have five guitars, six if you count the one sitting busted in a guitar case.

Do we even mark this as an act of terrorism? If the guy was brown you can bet your ass Donald Trump would have tweeted out it was definitely terrorism. But in this case, the guy was old, rich, white, angry and born in the good ole U.S. of A. In fact, he sounds like he fits Donald Trump’s demographic. Maybe we should deport old, fat, rich, angry, American-born white guys.

Sarah Huckabee Sanders, the president’s spokesgoon, said, “now is not the time to discuss gun control.” Right about the point that we can talk about gun control there comes another incident making it the time not to talk about gun control. But, we can thoughts and prayers the shit out of it.

I gave up on this nation ever doing anything about the mass distribution of guns when we decided we can live with 20 children being gunned down in an elementary school. It’s easier to live with dead babies than with restrictions on our guns, or worse yet…gun lobbies not handing checks to Republicans. But, we can give those children thoughts and prayers. If you’re accepting money from the NRA or defending the rampant mass distribution and easy access to weapons only designed to kill human beings, there is no amount of thoughts and prayers that will wipe the blood from your hands.

Personally, I’d rather be forced to listen to that Big Green Tractor song than hear one more person say “thoughts and prayers.”

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.