KKK

Racist Raider


Cjones10152021

Jon Gruden said, “I never had a blade of racism in me.” No, Jon Gruden, you have an entire pasture of racism in you and you’re going to need some woke goats unleashed on it to mow it down.

Jon Gruden, a Super Bowl-winning head coach in the National Football League is a racist, homophobic, sexist, intolerant bigot.

An investigation by The Wall Street Journal (no link because I don’t subscribe) and The New York Times (I do subscribe) detail that emails from Jon Gruden to friends in the league from 2011 to 2018 don’t just reveal Gruden is a vile bigot, but that a hateful culture remains in the NFL.

The NFL has tried to be a bit more progressive over the past few decades. There is now a rule that at least one black candidate has to be interviewed for each open head coach position. The league has tried to be more inclusive over the concerns of black players. The league has denounced sexism and racism. By the way, what team does Colin Kaepernick play for now? It’s not the Raiders.

Gruden’s emails were uncovered during a separate investigation of sexism, bullying, harassment, and a hostile work environment at the Washington Football Team, formerly the “Redskins,” which is also racist. Gruden’s emails were to Bruce Allen, who was the general manager at the time.

Interesting tidbit: Bruce Allen is the son of George Allen who was the coach of the Washington Football Team, and the brother of George Allen, a former governor and United States senator in Virginia who used to keep a noose in his office as a memento, which is also racist.

Another interesting tidbit: The Washington Football Team was the last NFL team to integrate.

There were several other coaches and administration officials from NFL teams in these emails. It was like a CC of bigotry. Some of those people are Ed Droste, the co-founder of Hooters; Jim McVay, an executive who has run the Outback Bowl, and Nick Reader, the founder of PDQ fried chicken Restaurants. According to the Times, these guys weren’t just receiving Gruden’s emails and reading them. They were also offering their own bigoted comments. These racists were willful participants and were yukking it up. Who would have expected willful participation in misogyny from the Hooters guy?

Jon Gruden coached the Raiders in the late 90s and into the early 2000s. He quit to take the head coach position in Tampa Bay, who had just fired Tony Dungy (who is black) for not advancing in the playoffs (after making the playoffs). Gruden took the Buccaneers to the Super Bowl and won in his first season, with a team built by Dungy. Gruden was fortunate that the opponent in that game were the Raiders, who were still using Gruden’s playbook. Gruden remained with the Bucs for six more years and only made the playoffs twice without ever winning another playoff game. He then became an NFL analyst for ESPN and and acquired lucrative endorsement contracts.

By the way, Tony Dungy went to Indianapolis where he inherited a horrible team like he did in Tampa. But also like he did in Tampa, he built that team into a Super Bowl team. It didn’t hurt that he also inherited Peyton Manning.

Jon Gruden was viewed by the league and fans as a brilliant one-of-a-kind football coach even though he was mediocre at best. Daniel Snyder could have coached that Dungy team to the Super Bowl. Jon Gruden left ESPN in 2018 to return to the Raiders, who had been pursuing him for six years, gave him a ten-year contract worth over $100 million, and partial ownership of the team. It was the richest contract in the league. In return, Gruden gave them a record of 22-31. His best season was 8-8. Gruden might be a fun analyst but he’s a mediocre football coach. He’s also a racist, sexist, homophobe, and in general, an all-around bigot.

What were in these seven years of emails that were so horrible? Surely, they couldn’t have been that bad, right? Well, in one he referred to DeMaurice Smith, the black leader of the NFL Players Association, as “Dumboriss Smith,” and said he “has lips the size of Michelin tires.” OK. Case closed. He’s a bigot. But, Gruden didn’t just specialize in racism. As I said, he’s an all-around bigot.

Gruden unleashed his bigotry casually in misogynistic and homophobic language over several years to denigrate people around the game and to mock some of the league’s most momentous changes, like adding female referees. Yeah, Gruden didn’t like that.

In the emails to Allen, Gruden called the league’s commissioner, Roger Goodell, a “faggot” and a “clueless anti football pussy” and said Goodell should not have pressured Jeff Fisher, then the coach of the Rams, to draft “queers,” a reference to Michael Sam, a gay player chosen by the team in 2014. If he returns to making commercials for Corona beer, where he’s on a beach answering a help line and telling callers to drink Corona, I wonder if they’ll allow him to use those words. Sure, it’s a Mexican beer, but Gruden’s endorsement will probably help sales with the Proud Boy crowd.

Gruden also criticized Goodell with homophobic language for trying to reduce concussions in the league. Yeah, because everyone knows it’s gay to care about concussions. Just play football. Gruden also used this type of language to go after other coaches, team owners, and journalists.

Gruden, like Donald Trump, wanted players fired for protesting during the national anthem. I wonder if he wrote, “Fire that sonofabitch”? Do you know what’s worse than protesting during the national anthem? Racism.

Gruden said he only used an “expletive” for Goodell because he was upset about team owners’ lockout of the players in 2011. He was also upset over safety measures in the league and that they were scaring parents from letting their sons play football. But, Gruden wasn’t a racist sexist homophobe just during 2011. Also, nobody only goes back to racist tropes while they’re angry. If a person calls you a racist or uses a gay slur, that person is racist and homophobic. He’s not just racist for one minute. Plus, Gruden must have been very comfortable writing down these comments with the people he was sending these racist homophobic sexist emails to, like the Hooters guy and Bruce Allen, the brother of former racist governor/senator George Allen who kept a noose in his office.

Gruden also liked to share photos of naked women with these NFL dudes, including two Washington cheerleaders. Speaking as a man, a lot of us don’t do that. I don’t and no, I’m not gay. If I did share those kind of photos, I think it would really weird my friends out. But then again, I don’t have friends like Jon Gruden, Bruce Allen, and the Hooters guy. I’m having a hard time getting over he was emailing the Hooters guy. Was Gruden emailing black jokes to the Uncle Ben guy and Paula Deen?

The cherry on top of all of this, for now, is that Gruden went after President Obama and Vice-President Biden in 2012. I don’t know what words he used for Obama, but he called Biden a “nervous clueless pussy.” I wonder what he thinks of Biden now.

Gruden claims he doesn’t remember any of these emails he was writing for seven years.

Stay tuned because we haven’t seen or heard all the words Gruden used in these emails but I’m certain more will be revealed. Maybe this is why he resigned last night in the middle of Monday Night Football.

Mark Davis, the owner of the Raiders, was aware of these emails before Sunday’s game…but Davis allowed Gruden to stick around. Then, more were revealed yesterday and Gruden resigned. If he hadn’t resigned yet, would he still be the head coach of the Raiders this morning?

This is the end for Jon Gruden as a coach, analyst, and Mexican beer spokesperson. At least it should be. There is no place in this nation for people who think the way Jon Gruden does….except in the Republican Party.

How much do you wanna bet that Donald Trump issues a statement defending Jon Gruden? And if the Michelin tires lips comment doesn’t prove you’re a racist, the Trump endorsement will.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are FIVE copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Black Face On White Supremacy


Cjones09082021

Over the weekend, a speaker at a rally for California governor Gavin Newsome said his Republican opponent, Larry Elder, is a “black face on white supremacy.” Larry Elder is a controversial right-wing Trump-supporting conspiracy-spreading whack job with a radio show who also happens to be black. But black people can be conservative lunatics too, right? Is it fair to accuse one of them, like Larry Elder, of being a “black face on white supremacy?” After all, Larry Elder is totally 100 percent in favor of reparations for slavery.

Of course, it’s not descendants of slaves Larry wants reparations for. No, Larry believe slave OWNERS should be rewarded reparations.

Ya’ see, Larry was talking to fellow black conservative lunatic, Candace Owens (which helps defend him from the charges of racism because she can be his prop for a black friend), and he argued since slavery was legal, slave owners were robbed when slavery ended. He also argued the United States was the first country to end slavery, which is wildly untrue. We were one of the last to end slavery.

But here’s the thing, Larry: Even though slavery was legal, it was a human rights violation. You argue that white slave owners lost property with human beings being that property. Larry, you’re being a good Republican because you are putting monetary value over human lives.

There is one thing that transcends race and that is, it doesn’t matter if you’re black or white. Being a Republican today makes you a fucking heartless idiotic lunatic.

Larry is a black face on white supremacy because the shit he’s saying is what white supremacists say. Finally, the Ku Klux Klan has a black friend. But if Larry is like Tucker Carlson and Sean Hannity, he’ll probably claim white supremacy doesn’t exist.

Larry’s ex-fiancée claims he “demanded” she get a tattoo on her body saying, “Larry’s girl,” and during an argument (probably over the “Larry’s girl” thing), pulled out a gun. Larry also says he’s been accused of sexual harassment twice, but he used the Donald Trump defense and said one of them wasn’t attractive enough for him to sexually harass. He said, “If you had seen her, you would know that the picture would be a complete defense. I’m just saying.” If that’s an argument than can we argue ugly stupid men like Donald Trump and Larry Elder are never innocent of sexual harassment? Larry literally has a face for radio.

Larry wants to be governor of California and maybe he’s trying to lose in that blue state. He says if he becomes governor that he’ll replace Senator Dianne Feinstein with a Republican. That right there tells you not to vote for Larry Elder. But, he’s given you a lot of other reasons not to vote for him. Let’s list a few.

Larry wants to end welfare completely. He claims systemic racism isn’t a thing and Black Lives Matter is responsible for rising crime. Why doesn’t this guy have a show on Fox News?

If he’s elected, Larry will remove all covid precautions in the state, including for state employees. That means no vaccine requirements, no mask mandates, no social distancing, and no testing.

Larry thinks Climate Change is a myth and so are the dangers of second-hand smoke. Larry wants to ban all abortions in California. He thinks cops should be allowed to use chokeholds.

Larry wants to get rid of the minimum wage entirely and says there is no gender-pay gap. He doesn’t believe there is workplace discrimination against women but there should be. If a woman plans to have children, Larry thinks her employer should be allowed to discriminate against her.

Larry has a hard time with women. He said, “Women know less than men about political issues, economics, and current events.” Displaying that famous Republican humor, Larry said “PMS” stands for “punish my spouse.” He probably thinks it’s punishment if his spouse won’t get a tattoo of “Larry’s girl.” He said all the women who participated in the 2017 Women’s March were “obese.”

Larry wants to abolish the IRS and the corporate tax rate. He believes we should get reduce government by 80 percent and that the federal government takes 50 percent of everyone’s income through mandates.

Also, he’s good buddies with Stephen Baby Goebbels Miller.

Larry Elder is bad news for California. This guy shouldn’t even have a platform on syndicated radio less enough a shot at the governorship. A lot of whack jobs are running in the recall election, but this one might actually have a chance.

If you’re in California, vote “NO” on the recall. Reject the recall…and reject the black face on white supremacy. Personally, I think Larry should get a tattoo saying, “KKK’s Bitch.”

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are FIVE copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Kevin’s Slim Pickens


Cjones07132021

A friend of mine used to hold a July 4th pool party every year…until one attendee got drunk and pooped in the pool. I’m sure it’s just a coincidence the pool pooper is a Republican. But nevertheless, no more July 4th pool parties. And pooping in the pool is exactly what House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy plans to do in the January 6 Committee.

The first attempt to have a commission to investigate the white nationalist MAGA terrorist insurrection on the Capitol Complex passed the House with very little GOP support, and died in the Senate. Republicans claimed they voted against it because the commission, with equal representation by both parties and each having full subpoena powers, would be too partisan. Before the vote, Democrats gave Republicans EVERYTHING they demanded before they could vote for it…and they still voted against it.

It’s kinda like taking your kids shopping for back-to-school clothes, and they refuse to participate. So after you’re done shopping for them, they get a hair up their ass because they don’t like the clothes you picked, which looks like that cheap-looking checkered suit Matt Gaetz wears. In this example, your kids are right to complain, you monster.

In Congress, Republicans, after being given everything they asked for, still voted against it. Even though they voted against it, we still need to get answers for the January 6 MAGA tiny-dick terrorist attack. So, Nancy Pelosi held a vote for another committee and this time, Republicans don’t have equal representation or subpoena power. Boo-hoo, fucknuts.

Of course, now they’re going to complain and campaign that they weren’t given equal representation and subpoena power. They will gaslight that they were never given a choice.

Kevin gets five picks and Nancy gets eight. Even better, Nancy can veto Kevin’s picks. And from looking at the names being tossed around by the tossers, she may need to veto every one of them.

Originally, Kevin threatened his members and said if they accepted an appointment to the committee, he would take away all their other committee assignments. Republicans are already afraid of this committee. They want all talk of the racists-for-Trump terrorist attack to go away. Talking about it can hurt the entire party in the 2022 midterms, upset the MAGAt base, and upset Donald Trump. If any Republican takes it seriously and ask serious questions like, “How many Nazis-for-Trump were in the riot?”, then Donald Trump may primary them.

Kevin is also afraid of who this committee may have questions for. Kevin is afraid they may subpoena Kevin. Also, the committee may subpoena Mo Brooks, Rudy Giuliani, Donald Trump Jr, and even Donald Trump. Keep in mind, it’s a crime to lie to Congress. Mo Brooks is currently using defending himself in a lawsuit for inciting the riot with the argument he was lying about the election being stolen in his capacity as a federal official.

The problem for Kevin is: Do Republicans refuse to work with the committee and risk coming off as disinterested in protecting our nation from terrorists, or do they do the jobs they were elected to do and risk pissing off the racist MAGAt base and Trump in the process?

The answer for Kevin is to go ahead and allow Republicans to join and to make sure they’re poo-flinging howler monkeys, and in the House, there is no better poo-flinging howler monkey than Jim Jordan.

First off, Kevin can’t pick people like Lauren Boebert, Matt Gaetz, or Marjorie Taylor Green. They can’t even pretend to be serious in addition to being too stupid for the committee. Appointing one of those shitweasels will only serve to embarrass the GOP…which should already be embarrassed.

Kevin plans to pick shit stains like Jim Jordan who will use the committee to deflect from the white nationalist terrorist attack. Nancy should veto the selection of Jim Jordan. She should veto anyone who voted against certifying the election. Every member who voted against certifying the election voted against democracy. They voted with the terrorists. In fact, it’s illegal to be in Congress after you supported enemies against the United States of America. Every single one of those Republicans who voted with the terrorists should be removed from Congress.

When people are elected to Congress, they take an oath to protect our nation, not to protect terrorists. The Republican Party and Kevin McCarthy have chosen to protect terrorists over their nation.

Republicans accuse this committee and Democrats of being partisan about January 6. It is now partisan. One side is partisan to democracy. The other side is partisan to terrorists.

Nancy, please don’t allow any supporters of terrorists to sit on this committee. Let them fling poo on their own time. If they want to shit in a pool, there’s one at Mar-a-Lago.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are ZERO copies of my book in stock, which usually go for $45.00 each, signed. Another order will be placed soon. You may pre-order if you want. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Exclusively Fox


Cjones05092021

How much longer before we see a live execution on Fox & Friends? Now that South Carolina is going to start executing people by firing squad, any day now. South Carolina’s excuse is that it’s harder to get the chemicals for lethal injections and since this is Murica, there will never be a supply problem with bullets. Here’s another solution: Stop killing people.

Fox & Friends did get an exclusive today. Florida’s dipshit racist buttface governor, Ron DeSantis signed a new law, making it harder for blacks to vote, live on the air on Fox & Friends…and excluded all other news outlets from viewing the signing.

Since this was official state business, what right did he have in barring access from a free press? Take note, he also did this just days after World Press Freedom Day.

But the thing is, kids, this isn’t a new law that’s better for Florida or voting rights. If it was, he wouldn’t have made signing such a partisan bill on a political photo-op on Donald Trump’s favorite hater TV show. Now, when he signs the bill making it legal to run over black protesters in your car and murdering them, will he do that live from Mar-a-Lago?

Here’s my wish: The nine-ton Chinese rocket falling from space this weekend lands on Mar-a-Lago.

DeSantis had previously bragged that Florida’s presidential election was a model for the rest of the country. So why is he signing a bill based on bogus Trump bullshit? Donald Trump is not president (sic) anymore. Can we stop having laws designed to kiss his ass?

Since I don’t watch Fox, I can’t be sure…but how much do you want to bet that none of the goons on Fox & Friends stood up for their “journalism” colleagues at other outlets and questioned why they were the only ones present? The odds are better on the Chinese Rocket crashing into Mar-a-Lago.

Why can’t we have the Chinese rocket crashing into Mar-a-Lago while Ron DeSantis is kissing Trump’s ass live on Fox & Friends? Shit like that never happening is what’s keeping me very agnostic.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have Three copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

This Is The Way


cjones02142021

In case you’re not a geek: The Mandalorian is a spinoff of Star Wars. It’s a series that runs on Disney+. Din Djarin is a bounty hunter hopping from planet to planet, capturing bad guys, freezing them in carbonite for delivery all while practicing the Mandalorian culture of never taking his helmet off. He says throughout the series, “This is the way.”

Spoiler alert for next paragraph: Throughout the first season, we don’t see Mando’s face (Mando is his nickname). It’s his “way” that no living thing is to see his face…ever. No Humans, no Gungans, no Zabraks, no Wookies, no Ewoks, no Togrutas, or no Twi’leks. Not even Baby Yoda (we still don’t know what he is) who he collects on a bounty and decides to keep and protect and eventually becomes his parent. Yeah, the series is weird. At the end of the first season, we finally see Mando’s face…for a minute. In the second season, he encounters other Mandalorians who inform him that “his way” is an extreme cult of their religion. He reacts the way most people do when informed they’re in a cult…he stormed the United States Capitol to overturn an election. No. What he did was deny it and accuse the others of being traitors to “the way” or whatever it is. But throughout the second season, he seems to ease up on his rule about removing his helmet. At the very end (big spoiler), he takes it off in front of just about everybody in the cast.

The Mandalorian practiced an extreme form of his religion but in reality, Cara Dune is the cultist. Or at least, Gina Carano is.

Cara Dune is an ass-kicking ally of the Mandalorian. She truly is a bad ass and she’s one of the most popular characters from the show. Some have said her action figures are outselling all other Star Wars characters. Even Baby Yoda? There were plans to create a spinoff series for Cara Dune. All this is due from the stellar performance of Gina Carano, a former mixed-martial artist. It’s too bad she turned out to be a right-wing troglodyte.

Hey, there are no laws that says you can’t be an insensitive ignorant stupid asshole, even if you have talent. But, there also are no laws that says an entertainment company has to employ your stupid ass when you publicly share debunked conspiracy theories, stupid bullshit, and a slight tinge of racism. OK. A lot of racism.

People, when you promote the “stop the steal” and “stolen election” lie, that’s out of hate. Let’s make that clear. And when you support Donald Trump, especially at this point, you have a lot of hate. Supporting Donald Trump is racist. Supporting the lie the election was stolen is racist. Where do you think they claim all those fake ballots came from? Black voting precincts. Who stormed the Capitol? White nationalists. Who does the Klan hold parades for? Donald Trump. What are Proud Boys? A white nationalist terrorist organization of guys with tiny peckers who love Donald Trump, the king of tiny racist peckers.

So, when Gina Carano posts on social media that the election was stolen, she’s supporting racists. When she tweets conspiracy theories about wearing masks to fight the global pandemic caused by the coronavirus, she’s supporting hate. When she promotes the “big lie,” she’s enabling white nationalist terrorists.

And when you compare the treatment Jews received from Nazis to hating someone for their political views, you can go screw yourself.

Gina Carano made an Instagram post complaining about the treatment conservatives are receiving for being conservatives. That’s like people complaining their white privilege isn’t receiving enough privilege. It’s weird that the people who call others “snowflakes” are such big whiny-ass babies. It’s weird that the crowd that keeps Colin Kaepernick unemployed and is censuring their own when they turn on Trump is the same crowd screaming about “cancel culture.”

Plus, she’s stupid. Gina Carano worked for Disney and Lucasfilm. Uh…was she unaware of the politics of these two companies? They’re very progressive. Disney and Lucasfilm don’t like Nazis. George Lucas is a bigtime liberal. Don’t fuck with him. So knowing this, she makes really stupid posts that feeds racists? She compares being hated for viewpoints to the Holocaust?

Lucasfilm dropped her and issued an official statement saying she was “not currently employed by Lucasfilm and there are no plans for her to be in the future.” and “Nevertheless, her social media posts denigrating people based on their cultural and religious identities are abhorrent and unacceptable.” The agency that represents her dropped her also.

The place where she works fired her. The people who get her jobs fired her. Don’t look to see Gina in a lot of upcoming shows. She is now officially toxic.

A lot of conservatives asked, “What about Pedro?” Pedro Pascale plays the Mandalorian. Earlier, he compared the incarceration of children by the Trump administration, the throwing them into cages, to the way Jews were treated by Nazis. Fucknuts were claiming hypocrisy. But, they don’t get it.

Comparing children being ripped apart from their families and placed into cages to what the Nazis did to Jews is a fair comparison. Comparing being hated for racist views to what the Nazis did to Jews is not. Trump cultists believe being criticized for racist views is worse than a baby being ripped away from its family.

And in case you don’t believe Gina is on the wrong side of this, you need no better proof than Ted Cruz. Yes, Ted Cruz rushed to Gina’s defense. Sorry, Gina. No amount of beskar will save you from a Ted Cruz defense.

Ted exhibited the same outrage he had when Donald Trump called his wife ugly, before he started kissing his ass, and tweeted, “Texan Gina Carano broke barriers in the Star Wars universe: not a princess, not a victim, not some emotionally tortured Jedi. She played a woman who kicked a– & who girls looked up to. She was instrumental in making Star Wars fun again. Of course Disney canceled her.”

Ted, you’re upset about how a woman is treated? Again, Donald Trump called your wife “ugly.”

Ted, being a conservative and a Trump supporter despite the guy calling his wife ugly and his dad a murderer, doesn’t comprehend. Gina Carano was canceled by Disney and Lucasfilm. Cara Dune was not canceled. At least not yet. She can be brought back with another actress. If they can do it with Clarice Starling then they can do it with Cara Dune. You see, Ted…The Mandalorian is fiction. This character breaking barriers who is not a princess, victim, or some emotionally tortured Jedi who kicked ass and who girls looked up to is Cara Dune, NOT Gina Carano.

And Ted, since you and Gina can’t comprehend, criticizing people who attempted a coup and tried to overturn an election isn’t the same as mass murdering people. Me calling you an asshole isn’t the same as genocide, you asshole. So, are you now going to compare Gina’s firing to the Inquisition?

Being racists who support terrorists may be “the way” for people like Gina Carano and Ted Cruz, but it’s not mine and it’s not “the way” for Disney or Lucasfilm.

Now, I expect life for Gina to be like that of Boba Fett after he was thrown into the Sarlac pit. She’ll turn up 30 years later and we’ll all be surprised she’s still alive. As for Ted Cruz, can we feed him to a Wampa?

Told you this blog would be geeky.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have an order of 20 copies of my book (11 are left to purchase) on the way, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. The books won’t arrive until after the new year, but orders are being taken and they’ll be shipped as soon as I receive them. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Goodbye, Turkeys


cjones11272020

I’m breaking a couple of my rules with this cartoon. One is, I’ve drawn enough turkeys this year. The other is drawing a cartoon with a holiday theme that’s dated after the holiday. This is dated for Friday, which as you probably know, is AFTER Thanksgiving. But, I don’t make my clients embargo my cartoons by the dates, which means they can run them as soon as they get them.

But, I like drawing turkeys…and I like drawing Trump goons. And in my defense, how many more opportunities do I have to draw these people? Have you seen the type of people Joe Biden’s putting in his administration? Adults! How am I supposed to work with that?

In the Biden administration, I don’t see any inept son-in-laws wanting to create a back channel with Russia while taking loans from Arab kingdoms. I don’t see a daughter and her husband receiving security clearances when they don’t qualify. I don’t see a veep lavishing worship on the boss every minute while attracting flies. I don’t see an Attorney General turning the Justice Department into an agency that acts as the president’s personal attorney…which they did in going to court to block a civil suit against Trump by one of his sexual accusers. I don’t see a baby Goebbels in this administration writing policies that’ll kill immigrant children. I don’t see a goon going to prison whose sentence the president will commute. Say what you want about Hunter, but I don’t see a son in this administration as stupid as Donald Trump Jr. I don’t see a personal attorney spreading conspiracy theories outside a dildo store while his hair is leaking transmission fluid. I don’t see the president encouraging right-wing terrorists to shoot and murder protesters or telling them to “stand by.” I don’t see Nazis and Klansmen holding parades for this incoming president. I don’t even see hamburgers.

So, how much fun do I have left? It’s not like next Thanksgiving, when President Joe Biden is pardoning a turkey, I can compare it to him pardoning his goons, children, or even himself. Sheesh! What sort of presidency is this going to be for cartoonists? We have been spoiled by Donald Trump. With Joe Biden and Kamala Harris, I’m going to have to go back to writing my own material. Dammit all.

Sure. Joe Biden has gaffes but they’re not going to make up for a president (sic) who tries to redirect a hurricane with a Sharpie, or asks about nuking that hurricane, or advises people to rake forests, or talks about windmill cancer. Joe Biden has never gone to a debate and talked about the size of his penis. Seriously, people…you left me nothing to work with here.

Maybe our new Secretary of State will scream at a reporter and challenge her to find Ukraine on a map. No? He’s not an asshole? Aw, man!

Maybe Ashley Biden will sit in for the president at international summits, or get a bunch of Chinese patents, or be investigated for tax fraud. No? She’s not corrupt? Maybe Jill Biden will say “fuck Christmas.” I know. Not very likely when you replace a porn model with a teacher who has a doctorate.

Thanks a lot, America. Sure. You saved the nation from a stupid narcissistic racist reality TV show host and his grifting, and now we’ll stop putting babies in jail and ripping families apart. We’ll save the climate, perhaps stop palling around with dictatorships, and start using complete sentences again…but at what cost? Did you think about the cartoonists and comedians? Did you not think about the satire? No, you didn’t. I hope you’re proud of yourself, America.

It’s not fair. Even the democratic goons Biden could have hired, Donald Trump took. I don’t even have a Blagojevich with this administration. Shit.

So because of all that, you get another turkey cartoon. You can’t blame me. All I have left is an administration full of adults to try to make something out of with my cartoons.

And the fact Donald Trump and his goons will never go away or stop tweeting. Never ever ever. I guess there’s that.

Update: I went back and added Michael Flynn after he was pardoned today.

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Watch me draw.

You Ain’t Black


cjones05282020

Over this weekend, pro-Trump goons and sycophants left comments underneath my cartoons demanding that I draw on Joe Biden’s gaffe where he said, “You Ain’t black.”

Apparently, some people think my cartoons are supposed to give equal time. Wrong. They think a cartoonist is not supposed to be biased. Wrong. They think a cartoon is supposed to be fair. Super duper wrong. I’m a liberal cartoonist. I hit the targets I believe deserve it and are a threat to the nation, which tend to be Republicans. Occasionally, that does mean I hit a Democrat. I am fiercely independent. I will never be a member of any party or campaign for a candidate. But, I will work to defeat a racist, stupid, dumbass TV reality host that shouldn’t be allowed on the White House tour, less enough living in the place.

Also, this isn’t open mic night where I take requests. Even the people who put money in my tip jar can’t demand I draw a specific cartoon. And I seriously doubt any of the right-wing goons have put anything in my tip jar other than poo and used condoms (I have to hose that thing a lot). But, there are times someone makes a good suggestion for a topic and I will hit it. But be careful what you wish for because you might get exactly what you deserve. So today’s cartoon is dedicated to every fucknut pro-Trump racist who told me to draw on Biden’s gaffe. Here’s to you, hypocrites.

Joe Biden made a huge gaffe. Even as they cringe, nobody is really surprised. Joe Biden says stupid shit. It’s what Joe Biden does. Biden was being interviewed by Charlamagne Tha God last Friday when the host said he might still have more “questions” for the Democratic nominee before election day. Biden replied, “You’ve got more questions? Well, I tell you what, if you have a problem figuring out whether you’re for me or Trump, then you ain’t black.” Ouch. Yikes. Eeks. No, Joe. No.

One of the many differences between Joe Biden and Donald Trump is that Biden can recognize when he said something stupid and instead of doubling-down, he’ll issue an apology. That’s something that goes against everything Donald Trump stands for. Joe Biden admonished himself for being “so cavalier” and said, “No one should have to vote for any party based on their race or religion or background.” Donald Trump still hasn’t apologized for defending tiki-torch Nazis or saying black women in America should go back to where they came from with his “send them back” comments. Nope. He doubled-down on that shit and led “send them back” chants at his hate rallies.

After Biden’s gaffe, the Trump campaign started selling T-Shirts with the hashtag “#youain’tblack” on them with Biden’s name underneath. I read somewhere they even created a website but I haven’t looked for it yet because one time, I went to David Duke’s website and I was in the shower for a week with a brillo pad trying to scrub it off me.

All profits from Trump’s hate shirts will go directly to re-electing Donald Trump and to the Trump Organization for campaign expenses.

But, campaigning for Donald Trump on the message that Joe Biden is a racist is like campaigning on the message Joe Biden gropes women. Really? Are they actually that obtuse, ignorant, and hypocritical in Trumpistan? Why, yes. Yes, they are.

The conservative media, like Fox News, went after the mainstream media for not covering it enough. But in the media’s defense, Donald Trump changed the subject.

Shortly after Biden’s remarks, instead of coasting on them and taking the weekend off, Donald Trump had to say something stupid. Something with even more potential for damage than “you ain’t black.” Donald Trump told his supporters to go to church and demanded the nation’s governors to reopen every church in the nation. Donald Trump advocated for worsening this health crisis.

And, instead of going to church himself on Sunday, like he advocated for the rest of the nation, Donald Trump’s morbidly-obese ass was on a golf course. Of course, it was a Trump golf course so he got to charge the Secret Service for golf cart rentals. Donald Trump admonished President Obama for golfing during the Ebola crisis…which killed two people in this country. Donald Trump golfed during the coronavirus crisis which has killed nearly 100,000 people. But, conservatives will focus on “you ain’t black.”

While his campaign was creating T-shirts, websites, and screaming about “you ain’t black,” and his followers were in church, Donald Trump was golfing tweeted a conspiracy theory about MSNBC’s Joe Scarborough being in a murder scandal, retweeted insults about Nancy Pelosi’s teeth, Stacey Abram’s weight, and one that called Hillary Clinton a “skank.” But “you ain’t black’ gets all the conservative outrage.

Nikki Haley tweeted, “I have struggled with Biden’s recent remarks. They were gut wrenchingly condescending.” So far, she hasn’t “struggled” with Donald Trump’s “gun-wrenchingly condescending remark calling a woman a “skank.”

I saw a headline over a column in The New York Post saying Biden will lose the black vote. I didn’t click the link because I’m out of brillo pads, but Biden is NOT going to lose the black vote.

Joe Biden is NOT a racist. Joe Biden’s biggest offense is that he is taking the black vote for granted. His greatest danger is not generating enthusiasm. That’s not just a problem with black voters. That’s an issue with all voters. And don’t restart you’re crying about Bernie again. This wouldn’t have happened with Bernie? This wouldn’t have happened with my choice either, Kamala Harris. But hey, maybe this gaffe will move Biden to select a vice-presidential candidate like Harris instead of going the safe route with someone like Amy Klobuchar who would appeal to white moderate voters but do little for the black vote. Joe, don’t pick one of the whitest women from one of the whitest states. Please.

Biden will not lose the black vote but his greatest danger is that it will be diminished over comments like, “You ain’t black.” Our greatest danger from that is the re-election of racist Donald Trump who said “Very fine people” marched with Nazis and “Send them back.”

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

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Anti-Greta


cjones03092020

Climate activist Greta Thunberg from Sweden is only 17 years old. That has not stopped conservatives from attacking her. They are attacking and bullying a child for saying something they don’t want to hear. Even the president (sic) of the United States has engaged in bullying her. She’s a child. Now get this: An energy company distributed a sexually graphic image of Greta.

X Site Energy Services from Alberta, Canada initially claimed they were not responsible for the image of a child being sexually attacked. But after it was reported that an employee of the company was handing out the image on stickers, they’ve accepted full responsibility and have apologized. In a statement, the company says, “Oh my God! Who knew that depicting a child being sexually assaulted could burn us? We totally lost our minds in this new era were being cruel and acting like depraved, troglodyte assholes amount to humor and is the new thing for conservatives and climate denialists. Maybe in this era of Trumpism, we got carried away. Also, sorry we lied about it too. Our bad. We’ll try to stop being dicks.”

OK. I made that up. That’s what their statement should have said. It actually said that it’s “committed to recovering and destroying the decals we distributed.” Note that “we” in there. The statement added, “Management (dicks) accepts full responsibility and effective immediately, has made organizational changes to reflect this.” Now, the company is discussing a code of conduct with its employees as it seeks to maintain a “safe and respectful workplace.”

Here’s a free tip for oil companies: If you have to educate your employees that distributing child pornography, with or without your company’s logo on it, is bad, then you’re probably fishing in the wrong talent pool.

Greta visited Alberta last year and Edmonton-based artist Aja Louden painted a mural of her on a wall…which was later defaced with a slur and a pro-oil message.

At least the right-wing, oil-company funded think tank, Heartland Institute, didn’t resort to child porn to attack Great. Nope. They went out and got their own Greta. She’s the anti-Greta.

Her name is Naomi Seibt and she’s from Germany, where people used to goose-step (this is about to come up again, so pay attention). Naomi isn’t just on the same side as the Heartland Institute. She’s being paid by them. The heavy thinkers at Heartland have always been anti-science because they’re a financial tool for fossil fuel companies. Think tanks are businesses set up where billionaires and companies hire them to write their dogma, thus giving the appearance it’s coming from elsewhere and has credibility (and nobody hires me to write anything). Heartland hired Naomi to produce YouTube videos and to be the anti-Greta. It’s not my viewpoint they market her as the anti-Greta. They literally describe her as the anti-Greta.

Naomi is 19 and she said her interest in activism began out of concern about a wave of migration into Germany in recent years (people who aren’t white and Christian). This may come as a big surprise to you but Naomi is white. Last weekend (this will be less of a surprise) she was speaking as CPAC (Conservative Political Asshole Committee) where the Heartland Institute sponsors a bunch of anti-science shit and Donald Trump speaks. At this asshole event, she praised a white nationalist (Nazi).

She praised Canadian alt-right commentator Stefan Molyneux and said his prior racist comments have been taken out of context.

The Southern Poverty Law Center, which monitors hate groups, says Molyneux “amplifies ‘scientific racism,’ eugenics and white supremacism,” has hundreds of thousands of YouTube followers, and “has encouraged thousands of people to adopt his belief in biological determinism, social Darwinism and non-white racial inferiority.” Basically, he’s a Nazi.

I’m kinda getting tired of all these descriptions. Alt-right, white nationalist, Trump supporter, Donald Trump…let’s just call them all Nazis.

Seibt said Molyneux is an “inspiration” for her work. When asked at the conference by a reporter if that still holds true, she said, “I’ve always been skeptical of the ideas of white nationalism, of identitarianism and white identity. However, I am an empiricist, and I could not help but notice that I could have peaceful, free, easy, civilized, and safe discussions in what is essentially an all-white country.” She may as well have started her sentence, “I don’t mean to sound like a racist but…”

She said, “I am still a fan, absolutely.”

Did the Heartland Institute hire a Nazi to be their anti-Greta? Absolutely.

I’m starting to think that Naomi’s concern for immigrants entering her nation doesn’t have anything to do with economics, the climate, or science. She describes herself as an “empiricist,” which is that you can’t have knowledge without experience. That probably means she had a run-in with a brown person that freaked her out (like one cut in line at a movie and she was all like, “Oh, my God, they’re everywhere. They probably have cousins!”). The knowledge I’ve gained from my experience (and I have a few years of that stuff on Naomi) is that nations and societies are richer and much better off with diversity of cultures. I believe in melting pots and I know it’s the greatest strength and asset of our nation.

Seriously, Heartland? You couldn’t find an anti-Greta who’s not a Nazi? Germany is a very progressive nation now and while their alt-right, anti-immigrant movement (Nazis) is loud, they’re small. Yet, somehow, you found a Nazi in present-day Germany. Now, before the CPAC thing is over, you may want to let Naomi go before she goosesteps all over the place…unless you plan to goosestep with her.

Heartland knows that to confront science, then you have to lie. You have to lie a lot. They’ve been doing it for years. In fact, it’s their business model. They’re comfortable with being liars. The question is, are you comfortable with being racist? Actually, it’s probably not your first time.

To sum up, don’t hire people who will distribute child porn with your company’s logo on it (and maybe not any child porn. A conservative might be reading and that should probably be clear). Also, pay attention, Heartland…

…DON’T HIRE NAZIS!

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

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Roughing It, Volume 32


I’m posting this on a train. Whee, trains!

I drew this batch of roughs the week before last, which feels like a year ago. Time in politics and news has a different measurement than reality.

CNNrough573

This is the rough for the cartoon I eventually drew for CNN. It turned into…

CNN02092020

…this. I like drawing Romney.

CNNrough572

This was before I drew the many heads on a pike cartoon which I think turned out better.

CNNrough571

This was the first rough I sketched out last week. I intended to do it for my clients but then I got bogged down in other stuff. I even forgot to draw the guy in the second panel as Bernie Sanders. So anyway, that round head thing in the second panel was supposed to be Bernie Sanders.

CNNrough577

I think this might be the plan.

CNNrough576

Pretty much. I was afraid this was too obvious.

CNNrough574

I like this format and I’ve only used it a couple times in my career. Funny thing, I never saw anyone else use it either until I used it once. Then it popped up here and there. Fuckers.

CNNrough578

This is the one that turned into a finished cartoon which I liked a lot. But first, I threw it at an editor. He said it was kinda dark. Because I like to screw with people, I touched it up.

CNNrough579

In my reply, I asked, “better?” He didn’t answer.

CNNrough575

I heard this from Trump supporters. What was hateful and divisive about Trump’s SOTU? This is why I feel it’s OK to make fun of Trump supporters. I totally meant to draw this cartoon but again, other shit kept getting in the way. Now its time has passed and I drew another cartoon on Rush Limbaugh a couple days ago.

Which rough or roughs do you think I should have finished and published?

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From 

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Trump Pro-Something-Something Rally


cjones01292020

Sometimes I go a while without having a conversation, not a screaming match, with a member of the Trump cult. For starters, I forget that they don’t realize they’re in a cult.

A couple days ago one of my nephews posted a story from 2017 with a headline that Donald Trump made March 29, Vietnam Veterans Day, an official holiday. Immediately, my spidey sense tingled. It didn’t sound right to me because for starters, I hadn’t heard of it yet. It also didn’t sound right because it seemed to come from a legitimate publication, Military.com. But apparently, Military.com has joined the cult and they don’t put any research into their articles.

So, I told my nephew that it wasn’t an actual holiday. In fact, Obama made the same declaration, recognizing the date as a commemoration, but it was just for 2012. Trump did make it for every year. But still, it’s a commemoration, not a holiday. Why is that? Because Donald Trump, nor any president of the United States of America, is a king. It takes a literal act of Congress to make an official federal holiday. A president can make as many declarations as he wants but they’re all pretty much empty except if you’re a Republican, it’ll get you a headline in Military.com by a reporter and editor who don’t do research.

I explained the act of Congress thing to my nephew because it’d be nice to have someone other than myself, my older brother, and my niece as informed people in our family. The rest are total fucknuts. I tried not to be confrontational and my nephew was cordial in return, but he explained why Trump didn’t make it an official holiday. It’s because Donald Trump didn’t want to give federal workers another free day off.

Again, I explained the act of Congress thing. Nephew understood that but again explained how Trump was looking out for the taxpayers and didn’t make it an official holiday. I let it go. It’s a lost cause. But you see what the cult does, right?

They can’t acknowledge Donald Trump can’t do something on his own. They also make up some bullshit because I guarantee you my nephew (who has met Donald Trump and posted a stomach-churning photo of it on Facebook that I should be commended for not commenting on) never heard him say he’s going to commemorate Vietnam Veterans Day, but not make it an official holiday in order to save taxpayers’ money. But he believes Donald Trump isn’t who Donald Trump really is, and instead sees him as someone who cares about him.

Here’s the thing. Donald Trump does not care about you. Donald Trump only cares about Donald Trump. The people who don’t get that are those in the Trump cult, like members of the pro-life movement.

Donald Trump visited an anti-choice, pro-women-persecution rally and the fucknuts went nuts. Trump spoke for 13 minutes and as usual, sang his own praises. He said, “Unborn children have never had a stronger defender in the White House.” And he claimed, “They are coming after me because I am fighting for you.” No, you orange glowing idiot. We’re coming after you because you’re a racist conman tearing the nation apart and you’re trying to steal another election with the help of Russia.

The anti-choice fuckos love Donald Trump because he does what they do. He lies about abortion (like he does about everything else). He makes false claims about abortion laws, like a New York law that “would allow a baby to be ripped from the mother’s womb right up until delivery” or that Virginia Governor Ralph Northam would “execute a baby after birth.” Those are lies. Anti-choice people are huge Project Veritas fans, the outlet that creates fake videos on Planned Parenthood and other issues. They’re gotcha! videos they have to manipulate. But like pointing out facts about Donald Trump, the cult ignores facts about Veritas too.

Donald Trump, who once described himself as “very pro-choice,” doesn’t care about abortion any more than he cares about Vietnam Veterans. Donald Trump was grandstanding to feed his base. And it works because his base is stupid.

There were memes and thank-yous all over social media yesterday to Donald Trump for being the first president to visit a “pro-choice” rally. But let me point something out to you. He’s also the first president to support a Russian leader’s bullshit over U.S. intelligence agencies’ facts, which is something no Soviet leader ever received during the Cold War. He’s the first president to meet with a leader of North Korea, thus legitimizing him and his brutal regime.

Congratulations, anti-choice fucknuts. You have now received the same credibility and legitimacy as Kim Jong Un. Use it wisely.

And why did I use the Klan for this reference? Because Donald Trump is a racist and when it comes to the “pro-life” movement and the KKK, tomayto-tomahto.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From The Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.