Ken Starr

Trump’s Dershowitz Defense


cjones01232020

I couldn’t have an opinion on Ken Starr being on Trump’s legal defense team without also having an opinion on Alan Dershowitz also being added.

It’s not that Starr and Dershowitz are bad lawyers. Contrary to that, they’re exceptional lawyers. Usually, for a lawyer to be a pundit and prognosticator on cable news, that lawyer has to be good. But, after years spent being a television talking head, the fame can get in the way of being a good lawyer.

The thing you have to ask here which I’m positive Donald Trump didn’t; Do you want to hear what these lawyers argue or do you just want them to be seen? Donald Trump loves to hire people he sees on Fox News, including lawyers.

Donald Trump surrounds himself with bad actors. Have you seen the goons associated with him? One of those bad actors he put on his team to argue against impeachment is Pam Bondi, former Attorney General for Florida who once talked then-Governor Rick Scott into postponing an execution because it conflicted with her reelection-fundraising event. Bondi isn’t so much a good lawyer as in she’s the kind of lawyer Trump needs. She’s a corrupt lawyer.

Bondi once co-hosted Fox and Friends while still serving as the state’s AG. Fox News said it had been approved by the Florida Commission on Ethics but guess what. It wasn’t.

Here’s the best part about Pam Bondi: As Attorney General, her office received 22 complaints about fraud concerning Trump University (yes. THAT Trump University). Her office announced it was considering joining a New York state lawsuit against Trump University on tax fraud. Then, lo and behold, Pam Bondi’s political action committee, established to support her reelection, received $25,000 from…wait for it…the Donald J. Trump Foundation. You remember the Trump Foundation, right? It’s the foundation that’s supposed to be a charity but it’s not. Instead of giving money to children with cancer, Trump uses it to stage political events, purchase sports memorabilia and portraits for himself, pay off lawsuits for bedbug-ridden golf resorts and…to make political contributions. Donald Trump stopped a potential investigation into his fraudulent university by paying off a politician from his fraudulent charity. This is why satire is hard.

Guess what happened after Bondi received that 25 grand. She declined to join the lawsuit. Trump was fined and ordered to repay the contribution back to his “foundation” and it was ultimately shut down by the state of New York. As it turns out, while Bondi was talking about joining the lawsuit against Trump, she personally solicited the donation from Trump. Later, she endorsed him for president. Trump isn’t the only entity she received campaign funds from that her office was contemplating investigating.

Ironically, Pam Bondi led a Lock-Her-Up chant at the 2016 Republican National Convention.

But back to Alan Dershowitz who appears to be in conflict with himself representing Donald Trump. He says he voted for Hillary Clinton and has endorsed Joe Biden for the 2020 campaign. His first conflict is that he’s on the same team as Ken Starr, who he once criticized for leaking grand jury testimony and concealing his conflict of interest from the court, and called a “threat to democracy.” Maybe after defending the current threat to democracy, those two can go hash it out over a beer.

Dershowitz and Starr have built their careers around moral narratives. Bu how can you have any morals when you defend a client who doesn’t have any?

Everyone deserves the right to an attorney, and Dershowitz takes bad guys as clients. He once told Professor Evan Mandery of John Jay College of Criminal Justice, “If Hitler were to call me today, saying he’s in the jungles of Brazil, I would defend him.” Dershowitz, who has defended O.J. Simpson, Jeffrey Epstein, and Harvey Weinstein, has now chosen a client who is as close to Hitler as he’ll ever get. Even Hitler didn’t steal from a children’s charity.

Dershowitz says he’s participating in this impeachment trial to “defend the integrity of the Constitution and to prevent the creation of a dangerous constitutional precedent.” In one of his books, the constitutional law professor said the impeachment of Richard Nixon would have been proper because “his crimes went to the essence of what an impeachable offense should be: he subverted the Constitution to his own partisan benefit, and in the process endangered the liberties of all Americans.”

If Nixon should have been impeached and his crimes “went to the essence of what an impeachable offense should be,” then what the hell did Donald Trump do?

Donald Trump illegally withheld military aid, taxpayer money, from a foreign power in a shakedown to attack a political opponent and help his reelection campaign. It was illegal for him to withhold the money and it was illegal for him to seek help from a foreign power. He also obstructed justice along the way. That’s not impeachable?

Not only does Dershowitz have to argue that none of that is impeachable, but it’s not even wrong because Donald Trump wants his legal team to fight that his phone call with Zelensky was “perfect.” That sounds like the sort of bullshit Pam Bondi would sell, not Starr and Dershowitz.

O.J., Epstein, and Weinstein all have one thing in common. Most people believe they’re guilty of everything they’ve been accused of, from murder to rape to raping minors. Which bad guy defense does Donald Trump want? Dershowitz doesn’t believe Trump did anything to be impeached. Does he also believe O.J., Epstein, and Weinstein were all innocent?

Everyone deserves to be defended. So does the United States of America. We need to be defended from Donald J. Trump.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From The Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Trump’s Starr Defense


cjones01222020

Upon hearing that Ken Starr, who probably still has files on Bill Clinton’s sex life underneath his mattress, has been appointed by Donald Trump to serve on his legal defense team for his impeachment trial next week before the United States Senate, Monica Lewinsky tweeted, “This is definitely an ‘are you fucking kidding me?’ kinda day.”

Ken Starr was the Independent Counsel who expanded an investigation into a bad land deal into President Bill Clinton’s sex life. He filed the Starr Report with a Republican Congress alleging that Clinton lied during a sworn deposition about an affair with Lewinsky which led to Congress impeaching Clinton, and ultimately a Senate trial where he was acquitted.

So yeah. Ken Starr being part of a defense that the most lying president in the history of the United States shouldn’t be impeached, years after filing a report that lying about a blowjob is, is an “are you fucking kidding me” kinda day. Ken Starr, who believed Bill Clinton should be impeached for one lie, is going to defend the guy who’s told over 15,000. For Ken Starr, using taxpayer money to extort a foreign nation and ask them to investigate a political opponent and help his reelection campaign isn’t that bad, but Oval Office B-Jays are naughty.

Ken Starr has a thing about sex. Basically, it’s bad when Democrats do it. Remember, he inherited the investigation into a bad land deal and then went to see what was in Clinton’s pants and what he had been doing with it. It must have been impressive because Ken Starr spent four years looking at it. Ken Starr spent tens of millions more on his land deal/blowjob investigation than Robert Mueller ever dreamed of, even with it being 1990s dollars.

When Ken Starr was President of Baylor University, he was forced to resign after covering up a sex scandal involving the school’s football team.

As Independent Counsel, Starr was so keen on impeaching Bill Clinton that he expanded the investigation from a bad land deal into Clinton firing employees in the White House travel office, abuse of confidential FBI files, the Clintons’ involvement with the Rose Law Firm and Madison Guaranty, Vince Foster’s suicide, Paula Jones’ lawsuit against Clinton, and finally, Clinton’s Oval Office fiddling with Monica Lewinsky. It’s a good thing Bill Clinton never wore a tan suit or put mustard on a cheeseburger.

A lot of people weren’t impressed with Ken Starr. One guy said he was “off his rocker, a “lunatic,” a “disaster,” and a “total wacko.” But Starr’s hypocrisy won’t be the only one on display since the guy who made those comments was Donald Trump.

One thing that’s been proven by Trump adding Starr to his legal defense team is that Bill Clinton’s impeachment 20 years ago was nothing but partisan bullshit.

The greatest irony in all of this is that Ken Starr filed a report about Bill Clinton lying under oath, and will now present a legal defense before a bunch of Senators who just did the same.

The 90s are back and they’re giving us Ken Starr, Alan Dershowitz, and Mambo No. 5.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From The Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.