Kayleigh McEnany

Corona Bingo


cjones10112020

Donald Trump, Melania Trump, Kellyanne Conway, Chris Christie, Kayleigh McEnany, Stephen Miller, Thom Tillis, Mike Lee, Ron Johnson, Hope Hicks, Nicholas Luna, Chad Gilmartin, Karoline Leavitt, Bill Stepien, and Ronna McDaniel (who even had “rona” in her name) are all people working in the White House, or close to it, who have tested positive for the coronavirus… so far.

There are nations that aren’t having as many outbreaks a day as this White House has had.

Many of these people have worked overtime to downplay the virus and deny it was as bad as it is. They worked hard to mislead the public. They over-exerted themselves to lie to America. And if they didn’t do that, then they worked for an administration that did. They are complicit.

Let’s not say any of them deserve it, but they each truly did ask for it.

A few months ago, Kellyanne Conway demanded a reporter to produce the name of a White House staffer who claimed people in the administration were calling it the “China Virus.” She said it was a racist term and nobody in that White House would ever use such an ugly description. Scratch that. Soon, Donald Trump was calling it the “China Virus” and Kellyanne, when asked to denounce that, said, “Look over there! It’s an aardvark!” And while the reporters were looking, she took off.

But many people who have caught the virus from the Trump team that downplayed it and refused to exercise the safety guidelines from their own Coronavirus Task Force, did not ask for it. A lot of people did not ask for mouth breathers to breathe on them.

While Kellyanne asked for it, her daughter didn’t. It was bad enough that Kellyanne Conway spent the past four years talking about “alternative facts” and lying for a corrupt administration. But who knew she was this vile? She refused to practice safety so she could stay in line and pander to a stupid and hateful president. She exposed herself to catch the coronavirus. Now, her lying and pandering to the worst president in world history has threatened the lives of her children. Her 15-year-old daughter, TikTok sensation Claudia, has now caught it.

In a video, Claudia claimed her mother lied to her about testing negative. Then she posted a new video saying she “guessed” she had misinterpreted her mom and that Kellyanne said she tested three times, twice positive, and never lied about it. The best thing about this is, she was taping a new TikTok video with her mom in the room who said, “You lied about your fucking mother…about covid.”

I was wrong. The best part about that is at the end her sentence, Kellyanne asked, “You’re taping again…”

Isn’t it delicious irony that Kellyanne is upset her daughter “lied” about covid? If only Kellyanne could hold her boss, the president (sic) of the United States, to the same standards and accountability as she holds her 15-year-old daughter.

Kellyanne also left her position at the White House to spend more time breathing on her family.

Others who did not ask for the virus from the White House are the three journalists who Kayleigh McEnany helped catch it.

This White House refused to create a safe environment for its employees. They carried out rallies. They even carried out huge, mask-less events on the White House lawn which is believed to have been the spark for this latest outbreak. After sharing it with the world, this administration refused to contact those in danger. They even tried to hide the outbreak.

The administration didn’t want to alert the press that Hope Hicks had acquired it. Would they have still hidden it after Trump tested positive? How would they have explained all the people working from home? What would they have said after journalists covering the White House started catching it?

Now, White House adviser and hate speech writer Stephen Miller has caught it. He was in that group with Hope Hicks that leaped into Marine One with Donald Trump last Wednesday. Another in that group was Jared Kushner.

If you had Stephen Miller on your bingo card, congratulations. Now, all with Jared are keeping an eye on him.

I’m sorry. Is it too soon to mock these people for catching a deadly virus? Not if issuing a commemorative coin celebrating Donald Trump defeating the virus, before he’s defeated the virus, isn’t too soon.

But hey, if you are one of those White House employees who have caught the virus because of Donald Trump’s failures, don’t worry. According to Donald Trump, it’s no worse than the flu. It’s not that bad. You can’t let it “dominate your life.”

In fact, you’re probably a winner. I mean, Donald Trump isn’t a loser, right? It’s not like everything he touches turns to shit, right? And he touched you, right?

As Hans Landa said in Inglourious Basterds, “Ooh. That’s a bingo.”

Creative note: Laura, one of my cartoon proofers, deserves a shout-out for this. While proofing, she asked if the bingo balls were supposed to look like the coronavirus. They weren’t but I thought it was an excellent idea. Thanks, Laura.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Corona Joyride


cjones10102020

Everything Donald Trump and his goons have said about the coronavirus has been wrong.

Last February, probably as part of her audition for the job of White House Spokesgoon, Kayleigh McEnany said, “We will not see diseases like the coronavirus come here, we will not see terrorism come here, and isn’t that refreshing when contrasting it with the awful presidency of President Obama?”

SpokesBarbie has excelled at her job of lying to the American public, but it’s really hard to gaslight that the virus hasn’t “come here” when you have the fucking virus. Also, the coronavirus did NOT come here during President Obama’s two terms and the majority of terrorists in the United States make up a part of Donald Trump’s base. Fact.

Last week, after Hope Hicks tested positive, Kayleigh went ahead and gave a press briefing. She claims she wasn’t aware of Hicks’ positive test for the virus, but we know Kayleigh lies. Now, three journalists who cover the White House tested positive for the virus in addition to two of Kayleigh’s staffers.

Just like Donald Trump, who went ahead and attended a New Jersey fundraiser after knowing Hope Hicks had tested positive and after being in her presence, Kayleigh has disregarded the safety of others in favor of selfishness, arrogance, and stupidity.

Donald Trump and his White House have no regard for anyone’s safety. They and Trump’s doctors refuse to tell us when Donald Trump last tested negative. For all we know, he went to that fundraiser after testing positive. For all we know, he went to last week’s debate after testing positive or at least knowing he should be in quarantine.

In fact, everyone in the White House and all who attended the super spreader event that was the Rose Garden ceremony for Amy Coney Barrett should be locked up in a bubble. They should all be in quarantine. Jared, Ivanka, and even the vice president, that ass-kissing sycophant who sleeps with a woman he calls “Mother,” should be in quarantine.

At the debate, Melania Trump, who now has the virus, and the Trump offsprings, Ivanka, Don Jr, Eric, and Tiffany, all arrogantly refused to wear masks. They arrived to the debate conveniently too late to be tested. They were offered face masks, which they refused. They should not have been offered face masks. They should have been kicked out promptly on their spoiled trust-fund baby asses.

McEnany continued to talk to the press after Trump’s positive diagnosis. She claimed it was safe because she had tested negative and not wearing a mask was her personal choice. I’m not saying she deserved to catch the virus, but let’s say catching it was her “personal choice.”

And if Mark Meadows, who also spoke to the press catches it, it’ll be the chief-of-staff’s personal choice. If the Trump kids catch it, it’ll be their personal choice too.

It was Chris Christie’s personal choice. Christie once said there is an acceptable number of deaths for the pandemic. Now, not wanting to be one of those “acceptable deaths,” has checked himself into a hospital after testing positive.

The Trump administration is still disregarding the safety of others. There has been no contact tracing from the Rose Garden super spreader event. They did not contact the Biden Campaign about the positive tests beforehand. They didn’t contact reporters after Wednesday’s press briefing. The New Jersey governor’s office is frustrated in that for their contact tracing for the Trump fundraiser at Donald Trump’s shitty golf resort (where previously, the biggest worry was acquiring bedbugs), the Republicans and Trump Campaign have only given them a list of names of the over 200 who attended the potential super spreader event. They’re not providing contact information.

And Donald Trump hasn’t just disregarded his own safety (out of stupidity) but also that of those who protect and serve him. He put the lives of Secret Service agents in jeopardy for his Sunday joyride so his supporters could see him cruising around outside Walter Reed hospital for a minute. He put their lives in danger again by going back to the White House last night. He’s putting the lives of everyone who works in the White House in danger. A lot of those workers are non-political and serve the president of the United States, no matter who he is or from which party.

Donald Trump has put appearance ahead of safety. Donald Trump’s first job is to protect the American people. With the infected including himself, Hope Hicks, Kayleigh McEnany, Chris Christie, Trump campaign manager Bill Stepien, Republican National Committee Chairwoman Ronna McDaniel, Kellyanne Conway, three Republican senators, Mike Lee of Utah, Thom Tillis of North Carolina, and Wisconsin’s Ron Johnson, Trump’s personal assistant Nick Luna, and University of Notre Dame President John Jenkins, Donald Trump can’t protect those closest to him. Donald Trump failed to protect himself.

And Kayleigh McEnany, who has spent the past eight months lying and spreading misinformation about the virus, who promised on her first day that she’d never lie to us, and who said Donald Trump would never allow the virus to enter this country, has now had the virus enter her. Her Dear Leader, who she professed so much bullshit faith in, failed to protect her.

Donald Trump refused to protect the nation from the virus. Instead, he spread false information and waged a war against face masks and those who were fighting the virus. He touted fake remedies like Hydroxychlorquine and told us time and time again it’s what was needed to fight the virus…while not using it himself after he caught the virus.

Did Donald Trump deserve to catch the virus? Kinda. He did ask for it. He challenged it. One thing he deserves is being behind Joe Biden 16 points in the latest poll.

And Donald Trump, for failing to protect this nation leading to over 210,000 deaths, deserves to be thrown out in November. Afterward, Donald Trump deserves to continue to receive the best medical care our government can offer him…in prison.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

TikTok Agitators


cjones06252020

Do you know what I love about conservatives using the word “agitator?” Because it was a favorite word of southern racists back in the 1960s when northerners went to the south to register black voters. It’s what the racists called the people they murdered in Neshoba County, Mississippi in 1964 during what was called “Freedom Summer.”

Donald Trump talked about “heritage” Saturday night in Tulsa where only 6,200 Trump-supporting racists showed up. When Donald Trump talks about heritage, he’s giving out a dog whistle to racists. And just like he did with taking “when the looting starts, the shooting starts,” from a southern sheriff in the 1960s, he’s now using “agitators.” All Donald Trump is missing is his “sheriff’s star” and white hood. For the record, he also used the racist term “Kung flu” at Saturday’s hate rally.

Donald Trump sent out a hate tweet before his Saturday Tulsa flop that said, “Any protesters, anarchists, agitators, looters or lowlifes who are going to Oklahoma please understand, you will not be treated like you have been in New York, Seattle, or Minneapolis. It will be a much different scene!”

Donald Trump is the president (sic) of the United States and he equated protesters with terrorists. Protesting is legal in this country. And while he wants to designate “Antifa” a fictional organization as a federally-recognized terrorist group, he ignores that white supremacists are responsible for the majority of terrorist acts in this nation. He talks about Antifa burning churches while it’s white supremacists who burn churches. How long will we have to wait for him to express outrage about a noose left hanging in the garage of NASCAR’s only black driver, Bubba Wallace? To Donald Trump, that noose is “heritage.”

For the lack of a crowd in Tulsa, the Trump campaign is blaming Black Lives Matter and the media for scaring people off. But, but, but, but I thought it would be a different scene and they wouldn’t allow any “agitating” in Tulsa? From the photos of Trump walking across the White House lawn from Marine One after arriving home from the rally, he looked pretty agitated.

Trump is livid that TikTok teens, K-Pop Stans, and assorted Zoomers punk’d the Trump campaign. Brad Parscale, the soon-to-be-shit-canned campaign manager, tweeted that the Zoomers didn’t really prank them. But, but, but, but, Brad…why did you and the guy who’s soon to fire you, President (sic) Trump boast about a million people registering for your Tulsa hate rally? Why, why, why, why, Brad? Why?

Basically, Brad, you got rocked by the TikTok. You got panned by the K-Pop Stans. Your rally got put in a tomb by the people on Zoom. You’ll claim you retired but you’ll actually be fired. As Paula Abdul once sang, “Ba-ba-ba-ba-bye-ba-ba-bub-bub-bye.”

There’s another hate rally scheduled for tomorrow (in case you’re a Republican, tomorrow is Tuesday, June 23). This MAGA party is scheduled for a megachurch that will only hold 3,000 people. I’m sure this one will be filled but the oversize crowd, or lack of one, will probably still fuck with Trump and Brad if he’s still around.

Personally, I’m looking forward to a campaign season for Donald Trump with half-empty venues for his hate rallies. I don’t know if that’ll ever get old for me because I’m going to laugh my ass off every time it happens.

I’m hoping this is a sign America is tired of Trump. Defeating Trump will be a defeat for evil. It’ll be a slap in the face to his racist supporters who need some major slappage. America can move forward again and the Joe Biden administration can start to repair the damage Donald Trump inflicted upon this nation.

I’m sure Joe Biden’s inauguration will be larger than Donald Trump’s. But there could be a huge turnout for Donald Trump’s goodbye party.

Ba-ba-ba-ba-bye-ba-ba-bub-bub-bye.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

The New And Improved Trump Goon


cjones04112020

We’re about to have some fun. I mean, if the White House brings back the daily press briefings (not these daily mini-MAGA rallies disguised as coronavirus briefings where Donald Trump talks for two hours about how much people are appreciating him yet not appreciating him enough, lies, and screams at reporters for asking legitimate questions), we’re gonna have some fun. OK, maybe not a lot of fun. But it’ll at least be interesting for a moment to watch Donald Trump’s new White House Press Secretary go to work.

Donald Trump just hired Kayleigh McEnany to be his White House Press Secretary. In case you’re keeping score, this is number 4. Obama had 3 over 8 years, George W. Bush had 4 over 8 years, Clinton had 5 over 8 years, and Reagan had 3 over 8 years. Donald Trump may set the record for most press secretaries and without serving a second term.

Like most people I’ve talked to about Kayleigh McEnany, you’re asking, “Who?”

Kayleigh McEnany is a young brilliant legal mind…OK, she’s young and she has a mind, who was working pro-bono for Trump before he ever hired her.

As a law student, she was hired by CNN in 2016 as an on-air contributor where she was a strong pro-Trump advocate. It’s like she was drinking out of the Kool-Aid pitcher before the water was even poured in. But let’s be real. It’s not sexist to point out the obvious in that McEnany wasn’t hired for her legal mind or real-world experience. For real-world experience, as a college student, she didn’t have any. She still doesn’t have any. Let’s face facts. She’s pretty. She was hired because of that by everyone who has ever hired her. She was no more hired for her work experience than Sean Spicer was hired for his dancing ability or Sarah Huckabee Sanders for her fashion sense.

McEnany is replacing Stephanie Grisham, who as press secretary for nine months, never held a press briefing. But she did go on Fox News a lot. Reportedly, new Chief-of-Staff Mark Meadows wanted to shake things up in the West Wing and he’s sending Grisham back to her previous job as Chief-of-Staff for Melania Trump which should be a relief after the heavy workload she experienced as Donald Trump’s press secretary (in case you’re a Republican, that was sarcasm).

What does Mark Meadows want in Kayleigh McEnany? If he’s looking for a young blonde willing to scream stupid shit for Donald Trump to spite reality, that’s what he’s got. And she does it well.

She left CNN to work for Real News Update, a Trump campaign propaganda online show that, surprise, was NOT real news. From there, she went to work for the Republican National Committee as their spokesperson.

She’s expected to continue to be an advocate for Trump on TV and maybe conduct press briefings in the future, which I’m sure, speaking for everyone in the press, we’re all looking forward to.

So, what can we expect from McEnany if she does resume the daily press briefings? It’ll be like if two of Donald Trump’s former press secretaries, Sean Spicer and Sarah Huckabee Sanders, shared a bottle of Ripple in an hourly-rate motel room,  got busy (sorry for any upcoming mental images), and for some unexplained anomaly, had a pretty baby enthusiastic for Trump as though she was all hopped up on crack and Red Bull.

Let’s just take a recent statement Kayleigh made on February 25. She said on Fox News, “We will not see diseases like the coronavirus come here, we will not see terrorism come here, and isn’t that refreshing when contrasting it with the awful presidency of President Obama?” In case you just came out of a coma or you’re a Trump supporter engaging in conspiracy theories, the coronavirus is here. Today, there have been over 400,000 people infected with the coronavirus and over 12,000 have died from it.

By the way: the new fucknut talking point is that we’re attributing too many deaths to the coronavirus. No, seriously. Half of those who died from it actually died from something else. They just happened to have the virus at the same time. Again, seriously. I’ll bet you one bottle of blonde hair dye that Kayleigh picks up this argument in the very near future. Do I have any takers?

Back to our main topic: McEnany says her coronavirus quote was taken out of context and she was specifically referring to Trump’s moves to limit and ban travel from China. Though, after she said it, over 40,000 people still came in from China. Also, when have we had any terrorists come here from China?

Obviously, with that quote where she was WRONG, she was performing for an audience of one. What other crazy fucked up shit has Kayleigh said? A lot.

She helped Trump promote his racism and birtherism by tweeting in 2012, “How I Met Your Brother — Never mind, forgot he’s still in that hut in Kenya. #ObamaTVShows.” That also presents us with another fine example of Republican humor.

On her blog, which is now in “maintenance mode,” she helped spread a wildly debunked lie that one of the Columbine victims was shot after telling the shooter she believed in God.  On that same blog, she also referred to Obama as a “white African-American.” There’s also assorted hate with Islamophobia mixed in on that blog.

She expressed anger over South Carolina Republican Mark Sanford being elected to Congress writing, “While the rest of the nation celebrated Father’s Day, Sanford’s four sons had no father to celebrate with. Why? Because Sanford found it more important to visit his Argentinian mistress – all on the taxpayers’ dime.” First off, I’m not sure if Sanford traveled for some Argentian boinking on the taxpayer’s dime. But, now, she works for a father of five, Mr. Family Values and Grab-Them-By-The-Pussy Donald Trump. Though, she did argue once that after Donald Trump started kissing a woman, as he said he would do on the Hollywood Access tape, that it was consensual. Enjoy your time working close to Trump, Kayleigh. Just tell yourself while it’s happening, it’s consensual.

She also wrote, “It’s a well-known fact that President Obama has zero regard for the US National Debt. The reckless increase in our nation’s debt under this president is obvious, naive, and dangerous.” Did I mention that she now works for Donald Trump after finishing a stint with the RNC?

Perhaps the biggest whopper is that she has claimed Donald Trump has (put down your coffee) never lied.

Trump’s White House has been a joke when it comes to presenting facts, they’ve shown “zero regard” or respect for the American people whom they represent. On day one, Donald Trump’s first act was to send out his press secretary, Sean Spicer, to lie about crowd sizes. Kayleigh is going to fit right in.

When it comes to facts from Kayleigh McEnany, there aren’t any.

Tip Jar:

This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performing busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From 

Watch me draw.

Trump TV


cjones08102017

When I was growing up I felt very fortunate not to live in a nation like the Soviet Union, North Korea, Iran, China, Cuba, etc., where the only news you received was sanctioned by the government. But, Vladimir Putin and Kim Jong Un can only have wet dreams of achieving the type of propaganda Trump has acquired.

In the United States, we have freedom of the press which is something conservatives really don’t like. Even with that freedom, we have news outlets that promote what their favorite candidate dishes out. They choose to be compliant. Those who do not cooperate get labeled as “fake news” by the Trump administration and their many sycophants, even though “fake news” doesn’t exist. If it’s fake, it’s not news. Dick heads.

Every cable news network has Trump sycophants on their programs to promote the president’s agenda, and obfuscate, deflect, distract, and lie. Kayleigh McEnany WAS one of these people pimping out the troglodyte agenda. She’s not anymore.

Even though Donald Trump has Fox News, Sinclair Broadcasting (more on them in a minute), his own lying Twitter feed, and every small town daily and weekly newspaper afraid to criticize him (trust me on that), he has created “Trump TV.” These are videos presented as news with bullshit read by Kayleigh McEnany. McEnany is one of those individuals who can’t find fault with Trump. She can accuse Obama of playing too much golf while telling us how Trump’s golfing is making America great again. She will tell you how Trump’s pussy grabbing is great for the jobs report, the coal mining jobs have already returned, Mexico paid for the wall, and that everyone now wants to eat steaks with ketchup.

McEnany should not be a lightweight in the brains department. She’s highly educated. But, I guess law schools can’t teach critical thinking. She appeared on Trump TV the day after she announced her resignation from CNN ending her broadcast with, “And this has been the real news.” Kayleigh, if you have to say it’s “real news,” it’s not news. Also, if the president is paying you to say it, it’s not news. When you’re on the RNC payroll, it’s not news. If you’re reading from talking points, it’s not news. If you’re reporting from Trump Tower, for the LOVE OF GOD IT’S NOT FUCKING NEWS!!!

This brings a couple of questions to my mind. Trump’s businesses are separated from the Trump administration, supposedly. Yet, Kayleigh is delivering her reports from Trump Tower. Trump Tower is part of the Trump Organization. It’s the freaking HQ of the Trump company. How is his business separated from the administration if his business is making pro-Trump propaganda videos? How much is Trump Tower charging the Trump Campaign for rent and use of their facilities? No, the Trump Campaign money is not Donald’s money. Don’t you know he doesn’t spend his own money? How much are they charging the Republican National Committee? How much did Kayleigh get for selling her soul? These are important questions that will not be answered anytime soon on Trump TV.

You may wonder why McEnany doesn’t care about, at least giving the impression she is objective or capable of thinking for herself. You may wonder how can an educated person be comfortable delivering talking points misrepresented as “news.” Or, maybe you’re puzzled that she is so willing to piss away all credibility and objectivity for the rest of her entire life. To be fair to Kayleigh, she never had any of that to begin with.

The Trump sycophants, they LOOOOOOOOOOOVE Trump TV. Go hashtag “Trump TV” on Twitter, read the tweets, and then go throw up in a fern. I have to admit, I am still confused that so many people don’t want to be informed and they would rather be lied to.

It is puzzling why Trump felt the need to create Trump TV when he has Sean Hannity around to eat his meatloaf. Before you argue that Fox News is just one channel waxing the president’s pole, let me stop you right there. He also has One America News, which you have probably never heard of before now, or if you have seen it, it was by accident because your cat stepped on the remote. There is also the Blaze network which is not a channel of strippers, which would explain why you would have accidentally turned on that program. Donald Trump has more than three shitty channels lying for him. Soon, he may have over 200.

What? 200? Where? Probably in your living room. If you watch local news, there is a good chance you’re watching an affiliate owned by Sinclair Broadcasting. Sinclair may own an ABC, CBS, NBC, Fox, CW, etc, in your city, but they control the local news and syndicated programs.

Currently, Sinclair owns stations in over 100 markets covering 42% of American households. The group is attempting to purchase 42 stations from Tribune, bringing its ownership count to 233 stations that could reach 72 percent of American households.

Sinclair claims they have a “hands-off approach” to how their local news stations cover topics and how they report. So, you might think it doesn’t matter that they’re a conservative company if they’re allowing their local stations to decide what needs to be covered. Again, I gotta stop you right there.

Sinclair creates prepacked news segments that it orders their station’s to air during their newscasts. These are called “must-runs.” Not only are they conservative, they’re frighteningly goose-stepping-Trump-loving-right-wing conservative. They are often hosted by Boris Epshteyn, who briefly worked in the Trump Administration as assistant communications director, and was a senior adviser on his campaign. Boris has had the meatloaf. Plus, his name is “Boris.” Kinda makes you wanna throw up in a fern.

John Oliver of HBO’s Last Week Tonight said that Sinclair is “the most influential media company you’ve never heard of.” He ran an episode criticizing the group and presented clips of various anchors introducing the same news story by stating that the FBI had a “personal vendetta” against Michael Flynn, critiqued the must-run “Terrorism Alert Desk” segments as defining terrorism as “anything a Muslim does”, and ran clips of editorials comparing multiculturalism and political correctness to a cancer epidemic, and stated that marriage was a solution to domestic abuse. Oliver said that he “did not know it was possible to dip below the journalistic standards of Breitbart.” Of course he said that before Kayleigh started hosting Trump TV.

Next time someone starts some bullshit about the media’s liberal bias, just kick them in the nuts. Yes, right in their lying nuts. Or, you can deliver my latest newest Spanish insult which is, “Que te folle un pez.” Yes, it’s dirty.

So, now we have Kayleigh McEnany reading off Trump TV. The thing is, you may have already been watching it. Now, you can go throw up in the fern.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.