John Kelly

Another Trump Sucker


cjones11152019

Trump’s former ambassador to the United Nations, Nikki Haley, has a new book out, called “With All Due Respect,” of which she can be proud that it doesn’t kiss as much Trump ass as Don Jr’s book, “Triggered.” But just barely.

What’s up with all these people putting Trump books out at the same time? Sheesh, people. Give it a rest (an inside joke which you’ll be in on by Thursday).

Nikki was thought of as a Republican with principles, back when there were at least more than two of them in the nation. As governor of South Carolina, she removed the Confederate flag from the statehouse after a racist killed nine people at a black church in Charleston. During the 2016 presidential primaries, she didn’t just endorse Marco Rubio because she believed he was the best candidate. She endorsed him while strongly speaking out against Donald Trump. She said, “During anxious times, it can be tempting to follow the siren call of the angriest voices. We must resist that temptation.” She failed in her resistance.

By the time the Republican National Convention rolled around, she was on the Trump train. After Trump was elected, she resigned as governor to be ambassador to the United Nations. For a governor, padding foreign policy onto your resume is very valuable. But how valuable is it when you served as an ambassador of a body that openly laughed at Donald Trump? The United Nations doesn’t respect Donald Trump, and he doesn’t respect it either. Trump believes there’s a member nation named Nambia, but even if it did exist, they wouldn’t have much respect for him either. It does sound like a “shithole” country.

In Nikki’s book, she claims she’s the only member of the Trump administration to tell him to his face that his press conference with Russia’s president didn’t go off very well. She claims that afterward, he got much stronger against Russia. She must be thinking of the time he advocated for Russia rejoining the European Union or that other time when he repeated Putin’s argument that the Soviet Union had the right to invade Afghanistan because of terrorism. Or maybe she was thinking of just last week when Trump said he really wanted to go to Russia and watch their May Day parade.

One of the biggest takeaways from the book is her claim that the secretary of state, Rex Tillerson and the chief-of-staff, John Kelly (neither of whom are still with the administration) attempted to recruit her to join their mini resistance. As I pointed out already, Nikki doesn’t do resistance well.

Haley writes, “Kelly and Tillerson confided in me that when they resisted the president, they weren’t being insubordinate, they were trying to save the country. Tillerson went on to tell me the reason he resisted the president’s decisions was because, if he didn’t, people would die.”

During an interview with Norah O’Donnell of CBS News that aired Sunday, she said, “Instead of saying that to me, they should have been saying that to the president (sic), not asking me to join them on their sidebar plan. It should have been, go tell the president (sic) what your differences are and quit if you don’t like what he’s doing. But to undermine a president (sic) is really a very dangerous thing, and it goes against the Constitution and it goes against what the American people want. And it was offensive.”

I don’t know if it goes against the Constitution to not enforce a directive of the president, or to wait him out until he forgets it (as others have claimed to do), or to try to change his mind. But do you know what is in the Constitution, Nikki? Bribery. Bribery, as in the president should be impeached if he commits it.

Donald Trump’s attempt to bribe a foreign leader with U.S. military aid to help his reelection campaign is probably just one example of Trump fuckery so dangerous and stupid, that members of his staff were subverting his efforts. Take a look at his phone call with Ukraine’s president. Somebody thought it was so bad that it needed to be hidden away inside its own special server.

Tillerson is disputing Haley’s account, but last December, he said, “The president (sic) would say, ‘Here’s what I want to do and here’s how I want to do it.’ And I would have to say to him, ‘Mr. President (sic), I understand what you want to do, but you can’t do it that way. It violates the law.'” Tillerson probably discovered that it went beyond Trump not knowing the law, but to the extent he doesn’t care.

In Bob Woodward’s book, “Fear,” Gary Cohn, the administration’s top economic adviser, removed letters from Trump’s desk removing the U.S. out of NAFTA and a trade agreement with South Korea. In the same book, there’s a revelation that James Mattis, then the defense secretary, ignored Trump’s orders to assassinate Syria’s Bashar al-Assad.

According to Haley, each of those instances of insubordination was unconstitutional.

In the New York Times Op-Ed by Anonymous, who claims to be a senior aide in Trump’s White House, he or she claims “many Trump appointees have vowed to do what we can to preserve our democratic institutions while thwarting Mr. (sic) Trump’s more misguided impulses until he is out of office.”

Haley is trying to present herself as being bold and independent enough to stand up to Donald Trump while still appeasing his supporters by kissing his ass. She can’t have it both ways. While she may be dreaming of replacing Mike Pence on the 2020 ticket (it could happen) and becoming a future Republican president, she’s not an example of courage within this administration.

If you want to see courage, look no further than those testifying this week against the administration. If you want examples of asskissers, toadies, suckups, lackeys, sycophants, grovelers, fawners, bootlickers, apple polishers, and ball washers, there are plenty to choose from in Washington (Lindsey Graham, Jeff Sessions, Mike Pence, etc), but today, let’s look at Nikki Haley.

Someday, all these asskissers will have to defend their time as sycophants. Haley will be doing so while also trying to explain her experience with Trump’s failed foreign policy where all roads led to Russia.

With “all due respect,” Nikki, you’re just another sycophant who put cult worship over country.

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A Smocking Boom-Boom


cjones12162018

Wanna learn something about me? Tough. You’re gonna hear it anyway.

Once, I was offered a job in a political campaign. Not just any position either, I was offered to be a campaign manager of a congressional campaign. You probably thought I didn’t have any skill or experience in that area. You were right.

It was 1994 and a Republican candidate offered me the position. This was the year the GOP with Newt Gingrich’s Contract with America was going to take the House. A Democrat had just retired from the district after serving 54 years, and this was in Mississippi. Everyone knew a Republican was going to take the seat.  So, I turned it down.

I knew the candidate who offered me the position was going to lose, but that’s not why I declined. Every political operative works on a losing campaign. I had several other reasons to turn it down.

I didn’t have any experience and had only been in the newspaper business for four years. I didn’t want to be the reason a campaign failed. Even though my editors were willing to grant me a leave of absence, I didn’t want to leave journalism and enter politics even though it was tempting to see how the other side lives. But, the biggest reason I turned it down was that the campaign was going to be a flaming disaster going over a cliff.

My first clue was that they offered me the job of campaign manager. What the hell was wrong with them? I draw cartoons. I don’t get people elected to Congress. I wasn’t even a Republican. The candidate had no realistic chance of winning in a six-person primary, and they thought they did. I didn’t want to work with people who were that delusional. Finally, they, as in the candidate and his wife, gave me a really creepy vibe. I didn’t want to work, less enough be stuck in a car for 24 hours a day, with creepy stupid people. Ew. So I thanked them for the opportunity and politely refused. They ended up coming in 6th in the primary and the winner of that seat is now a United States senator, who I ended up meeting during the campaign (but this was Mississippi. You meet everybody).

I bet that’s why Nick Ayers turned down Trump’s offer to be his Chief of Staff. Quite frankly, it’s like being offered the job of captain of the Titanic AFTER it hit the iceberg. Look what it’s done to John Kelly, a four-star General. It’s reduced his respect and credibility to the same level as Omarosa’s. If a four-star General can’t reel Trump in and exert some control over the West Wing, what chance does a 36-year-old political operative have?

The Chief of Staff position is prestigious. It puts you in the seat of power and makes you a big time player in the world of politics. When you’re done, you either turn that prestige into major bucks in the corporate world or the speaking circuit, or you build your own political career, like Rahm Emanuel and Dick Cheney. So, why would someone as young as Ayers turn it down?

Serving as Trump’s Chief of Staff probably wouldn’t parlay into a future of huge rewards. You would have to be a total sycophant, and nobody respects those. You could be blackballed from jobs and even chased out of restaurants. And with Trump, you would most likely have to spend thousands on legal bills and quite possibly be indicted yourself. Do you want to go to prison for Donald Trump?

On top of all that, you can’t trust Trump. After setting an agenda, you would find out later from Twitter that Trump has changed his mind. There would also be ridiculous tweets and statements you would have to defend with a straight face. Look what that’s done to the faces of Kellyanne and Sarah Huckabee. The next CoS will also serve while Congress is controlled by Democrats and conducting multiple investigations on Trump, and Robert Mueller will be bringing the hammer down. Good times are not ahead for the Trump administration.

Later, after you’re fired, Trump will tweet to the world that you’re lazy and stupid like he did to his former Secretary of State, Rex Tillerson. Trump demands loyalty while returning none.

Ayers isn’t the only one running from the job. Reportedly, OMB Director Mick Mulvaney and Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin are sending signals to the White House saying, “Please, god no. Not me.” Dirty Jobs Mike Rowe is currently in the Witness Protection Program avoiding a call from Trump.

Trump will find a Chief of Staff. There are reports former New Jersey Governor Chris Christie is under consideration. If you thought he couldn’t sink any lower than eating what Trump tells him to eat and making cheeseburger runs, just wait. Dignity will not be on the menu.

I kinda feel bad for the next babysitter because this is a big baby, and he makes big boom-booms.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

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Melania’s Bad Side Can Be A Drag


cjones11172018

Melania Trump is not the first First Lady to influence her husband, the president of the United States. It’s not unusual, unique, or strange.

Sarah Polk helped her husband craft speeches and wrote letters for him. Sarah Fillmore helped create the White House library, which Trump still doesn’t know is in there. Caroline Harrison, a proponent of women’s rights and historic preservation was the first president-general of the Daughters of the American Revolution while she was serving as First Lady. Woodrow Wilson didn’t see anything unless his wife, Edith, approved, as she made daily decisions about what items should or should not be taken to him. Eleanor Roosevelt fought for the New Deal and women’s and civil rights while in the White House. Betty Ford was an advocate for the Equal Rights Amendment and the legalization of abortion (Time called her the country’s “Fighting First Lady,” and many conservatives wanted her to resign, though I don’t know how that would work). Betty even delivered her husband’s concession speech. Rosalynn Carter sat in on cabinet meetings. Hillary Clinton was appointed by her husband to the Task Force on National Health Care Reform and became and still, is a national villain to gaslighted Republicans. Nancy Reagan coordinated her husband’s schedule with an astrological chart, claimed Donald Regan, who was fired as Chief-of-Staff for disagreeing with her.

Normally, a First Lady’s influence on the staff is leaked out from White House insiders and not blasted in a press release stating the equivalent of “I hate their rancid ass and it should be kicked to the curb.” That’s basically what the East Wing issued yesterday in calling for the ouster of deputy national security adviser Mira R. Ricardel. The West Wing issued a response that they had no control over the East Wing. There’s more drama between these wings than left and right Twix.

The statement read, “It is the position of the Office of the First Lady that she no longer deserves the honor of serving in this White House.” No. There wasn’t a “meow” at the end, but she did tweet later about World Kindness Day. Here’s the weirdest part; Ricardel hasn’t been fired yet.

Ricardel is John Bolton’s deputy because that much xenophobia needs an assistant. Three current and two former White House officials said Tuesday that Ricardel had berated people in meetings, yelled at professional staff, argued with the first lady and spread rumors about Defense Secretary James Mattis. Now, I wanna know the Mattis rumors. They can’t be any worse than the president’s Mario-Mushroom rumor.

Chief-of-Staff John Kelly has been pushing for Ricardel’s ouster, but Melania may be pushing for his too.

There are rampant rumors that Homeland Security Director Kirstjen Nielsen and Interior Secretary Ryan Zinke are also on the poop list.

Melania told ABC News in an interview last month that there are some White House advisers she doesn’t trust. It’s nice to know we’re not the only ones except, I don’t trust any of them.

Maybe it’s good for us that Melania is influencing who should stay and go. But, perhaps she should focus on the East Wing a bit more than the West Wing. Not because she’s a woman, but because she has started a campaign she hasn’t engaged in. Her anti-bullying campaign is stark hypocrisy and a national joke since her husband is the most sexist bully this side of Biff Tannen. It would be like Ivanka leading an anti-nepotism campaign.

Personally, I’m looking forward to the future firing and their replacements and their future firings. I’m also hoping Trump acts as his own Chief-of-Staff for a while. But to be honest, I’m also a big fan of train wrecks.

I’m going out right now to buy Melania an astrological chart.

Be Complicit
What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Searching For Anonymous


cjones09122018

I honestly thought the identity of “Anonymous,” the White House staffer who wrote an op-ed published by The New York Times Wednesday night, would have been discovered by noon on Thursday, and by 6:00 P.M., there would have been a very public firing. But, I forgot who we’re dealing with here?

Donald Trump finding Mr. or Mrs. Anonymous? Trump can’t even say “anonymous.” 

I made a joke on social media that if they conduct their search among the more literate members of the White House staff, then it’d be a very short search. But in reality, they gotta search through everyone working for Trump who believes he’s an idiot. In case you haven’t noticed the consistent theme coming from each book and reports in news outlets covering the White House, there’s a lot of people working there who believe Donald Trump is a world-class idiot, mentally incompetent, and without any idea or ability to do the job of president. The only people who don’t believe Donald Trump is an idiot are his fellow idiots who still support him. You can spot them at rallies and on Fox News.

While all of D.C. is playing a parlor game of trying to figure out the identity of Anonymous, the White House is turning the place upside down. Over thirty officials have publicly stated “not me,” just as Mark Felt swore during Watergate that he wasn’t Deep Throat.

Senator Rand Paul has suggested that the White House start forcing employees to take polygraph tests, which would probably explode by being in the same building as Donald Trump. Trump, has called the writer a traitor and demanded that the Times report his identity in the interest of national security. He’s even floating the idea of the Justice Department going after the Times for the identity.

The anonymous op-ed hasn’t proved anything we don’t already know. It’s also proving that Trump wants to be a dictator, use the Justice Department to go after his enemies, and turn our nation into a banana republic. Trump’s statements on going after “Anonymous” proves he should be removed from office.

Senator Elizabeth Warren believes the 25th Amendment should be implemented. I agree. Staffers from previous administrations weren’t writing anonymous op-eds claiming the president was an idiot, and they were working to thwart the damage he was seeking to inflict upon the nation. Senior members of other administrations didn’t have to deny they called the president an “idiot,” a “fucking moron,” or “retarded.” No one had to deny calling him “childish” and a “baby.” The reason all this is happening now isn’t because there’s a “deep state.” It’s because Donald Trump is a vile and horrible human being who is the worst president in American history. He needs to be removed.

Trump warns us that if he’s impeached, then the blame lies squarely on those who didn’t vote for Republicans in the upcoming midterms. When it comes to taking that blame, I won’t be anonymous.

Your support in the form of donations is appreciated. I am fully independent as I’m not employed by a newspaper or with a major syndicate (leaving one to be independent). It does take a lot of work to provide you with cartoons, columns, and videos almost every day (more than any other political cartoonist), and I don’t charge my clients much at all. If you can, please consider making a financial contribution to keep the fun flowing, or purchase a signed print for $40. Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!!

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Fox And Flunkies


cjones05052018

Trump’s lawyers are afraid to let him talk to Special Counsel Robert Mueller. In fact, they actually received a list of questions Mueller wants to ask, and they still don’t want him to testify. They’re afraid of a perjury trap, but how is it a perjury trap when you have the questions beforehand allowing you to practice your lies?

There are no perjury traps. There’s just perjury. You couldn’t ask Trump for his favorite snow cone flavor without him lying.

And, that’s the thing. Donald Trump is a walking, bleeding case of a bunch of perjuries. They’re afraid of him talking to the FBI, the Justice Department, and Mueller? Donald Trump can’t talk to Fox & Friends without destroying his presidency.

The good thing for Trump is that Fox & Friends are actually Fox & Flunkies. They practically hung up on Trump so he’d stop talking and cutting his own throat.

During his call to Fox & Sycophants, Trump admitted Michael Cohen represented him in the “crazy Stormy Daniels deal,” that there really isn’t attorney/client privilege as Cohen does a “very tiny, tiny little fraction” of actual legal work for him, admitted he stayed overnight in Moscow on pee-pee-hooker night after telling Comey TWICE that he didn’t, that he intends to obstruct justice in the future by meddling with the Justice Department, and that he only got Melania a card for her birthday. Melania can cheer up because her other gift was Trump admitting he slept with a porn star.

Former Secretary of State Rex Tillerson called Trump a “fucking moron,” and according to reports that rely on eight current and former White House sources, Chief of Staff John Kelly has referred to Trump as an idiot. If you can watch Fox & Friends, or read Trump’s tweets, or listen to him speak on any subject, and not believe he’s an idiot or a fucking moron, you have successfully been gas-lighted.

Trump complained about the “idiot” comment, calling it “fake news.” Yet, in the two tweets he sent complaining about it, he didn’t mention Kelly. He also complained about the leak of Mueller’s questions. The real question is; who leaked it? The White House leaked it which is the same place where NBC got the sources for Kelly’s comments. The White House is a sieve. Did new Trump lawyer Rudy Giuliani do the leaking?

Mueller’s list contains dozens of questions that he probably already has the answers to. The lies Trump gives for each of these questions will more than likely create new questions. One interesting question concerns Manafort attempting to contact Russia for help in the election. Previously, we were led to believe that Russia was the one attempting contact. Trump and his sycophants say there’s no evidence of collusion with Russia. The problem with that argument is that they don’t know what Mueller knows. Another problem is it may not be as much of a collusion as it is a conspiracy.

Trump would rather be a Chatty Cathy in the friendly environs of Fox & Friends instead of talking to Mueller’s team. The gang of stupids over at Fox aren’t as much journalists as they are Trump enablers and defenders. When Trump’s rant started to destroy his legal defense the Fox team hurriedly got him off the air, even though Trump was still ranting. As a Slate headline read; Old Man Yells At Country.

The old man is about to yell himself out of the presidency and potentially into prison. I agree with Stormy Daniels’ lawyer and wish that Trump would call Fox & Friends everyday. I’m sure Robert Mueller will be watching.

Here’s the video.

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A Blart On The Background


cjones02152018

During the presidential campaign, and repeated as a deflection from Trump corruption ever since, Republicans argued that Hillary Clinton wasn’t fit to be president because she potentially exposed classified information on her email server. This week, the what-about-her-emails crowd has more complaints about the Obama portraits than the lackadaisical attitude Donald Trump has toward classified information.

We knew for a while that Jared Kushner, Trump’s son-in-law and unqualified to do any job in the White House, has yet to be cleared for a security clearance. What was revealed from the Rob Porter scandal, other than Trump and John Kelly don’t take domestic violence seriously, is that there are many people working in the White House without a “permanent” security clearance.

First, there isn’t an actual permanent clearance. Every individual is subject to continuous evaluation and some clearances expire depending on the level. The FBI conducts the background checks. For secret and top-secret clearances, the White House has its own Office of Security that makes the decision on who gets clearance. For access to what is called Sensitive Compartmented Information (SCI), which is the highest level of classified information, that is done by one or more of the intelligence agencies, and usually, it’s the CIA with the White House. The White House Office of Security is run by career staff and not by political appointees. Jared has access to the highest level of classified info.

Sometimes, a clearance isn’t given because the FBI is having trouble finding information, and they believe there are holes, or they’re finding a lot of sketchy and questionable stuff, like wife-beating or in Jared’s case, lying on his forms.

How does a White House staffer keep his job with access to classified information without a clean report from the FBI? The Office of Security may grant temporary clearance, as they’re probably doing in the over 40 cases in the White House right now, or the president can use his Constitutional authority to order them to grant clearance (and we don’t know if that’s happened), or the White House may just ignore it altogether. That’s what’s happening in this case, and after it’s exposed, they lie and blame the FBI.

Tuesday, FBI director Christopher Wray told Congress that the FBI completed Rob Porter’s background investigation last July and closed it in January. As we know, Porter continued to work in the White House. Sarah Huckabee Sanders had claimed that they first learned of the accusations against Porter last week and that White House Counsel Don McGahn and Chief of Staff John Kelly were not informed previously. She also said that “the White House had not received any specific papers regarding the completion of that background check” by the time of Porter’s resignation. She said the White House Security Office felt the FBI’s report required more field investigation, though the FBI had closed its background check on Porter. Sanders was caught lying. I’m not sure she’s aware of that yet.

Trump promised us he’d hire the best people. He hasn’t even hired a Spokesgoon smart enough to know that you don’t lie about the FBI the day the FBI Director is testifying in front of Congress.

Trump also defended Porter and said he, and every man accused of beating a woman, deserves “due process.” I think a year-long background investigation by the FBI, who then reports that the guy is a wife beater, can be considered due process.

Trump campaigned arguing that we couldn’t trust our nation’s secrets with Hillary Clinton. After he won the election, the Obama administration was concerned about how much to tell Trump and his transition team because our intelligence sources knew there were Russian moles in the Trump campaign.

Obama warned Trump not to hire Michael Flynn. Trump hired Michael Flynn. Obama’s National Security Adviser, Susan Rice, had to find a way to work around providing information to her successor while knowing he was corrupted by the Russians.

After he became president, Trump invited the Russian ambassador, foreign minister, and their camera team into the Oval Office because Putin told him to. During that visit, Trump revealed classified information to them that was provided by an ally.

Then, Trump released the Nunes FISA memo over the objections of the Justice Department and the FBI.

Finally, Trump has unverified people working with classified information in the White House. Some of these people are susceptible to blackmail.

Congress needs a hearing to find out why so many people are working in the White House without clearances, who they are, and what level of classified information they have been granted access to. The Bush and Obama administrations didn’t suffer from these scandals, but then again, they didn’t staff their administrations with a bunch of wife-beaters and loan sharks.

The problem starts at the top. Donald Trump doesn’t hire the best people. In fact, he hires the worst people. The fact is we elected a guy who couldn’t pass the FBI background check.

The real problem is we elected the worst person.

Today’s video.

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West Wing Beaters


cjones02112018

Earlier in the week, Deputy White House Press Secretary Raj Shah addressed comments made by Omarosa Manigault about the turmoil in the executive branch by saying, “Omarosa was fired three times on The Apprentice, and this is the fourth time we let her go.”

I am not defending Omarosa, who has gone from the West Wing to the reality show Big Brother where she said she is “haunted” by Donald Trump’s tweets, that things are “bad” inside the White House and that it’s “not going to be okay” there going forward. She was perfectly fine with the Trump administration when she was a part of it when she said, “Every critic, every detractor, will have to bow down to President Trump. It’s everyone who’s ever doubted Donald, whoever disagreed, whoever challenged him. It is the ultimate revenge to become the most powerful man in the universe.”

Criticizing Omarosa is fine, but what is this “we fired her” stuff? My point of contention is Mr. Shah’s comments about them firing her for the “fourth” time. Raj, the White House is not The Apprentice. It is not a reality TV show. Or is it?

White House Secretary Rob Porter resigned this week after it was revealed he’s been accused of beating both of his ex-wives. A former girlfriend has also made some accusations. As it turns out, the White House knew this for over a year as Porter was never cleared by the FBI for a security clearance.

White House Counsel Don McGahn was aware of this as well as Chief of Staff John Kelly. Kelly even defended Porter and attempted to talk him into staying. Later, Kelly told the White House staff to lie and tell the press that he had moved aggressively to oust him once his misdeeds were discovered. Remember when Kelly was supposed to be the moderating influence on this White House? Sure, he lied about a black congresswoman, Lied about Obama not calling Gold Star families, and said Dreamers won’t get off their “lazy asses,” but other than that, he’s a great influence.

Adding to the turmoil, Hope Hicks, Communications Director, and Porter’s squeeze, issued statements from the White House supportive of Porter. Stand by your man, Hope.

Treatment of women has become a serious issue for this White House. Original Campaign Director Corey Lewandowski grabbed a female reporter at an event. Steve Bannon has been accused of violence against an ex-wife. Trump’s first choice as Labor Secretary, Andrew Puzder, withdrew as the nominee after questions arose about him assaulting his ex-wife. On Friday, another member of the Trump team, speechwriter David Sorensen, resigned after accusations came to light of him assaulting (take one guess) his ex-wife. And, of course, there’s Donald Trump who has also been accused of assaulting his first ex-wife.

Not counting Trump, five people associated with this administration have been accused of violence against women. Do you know how many during the 16 years of the Bush and Obama administrations faced those types of allegations? Zero. And, it’s only been a year for the Trump team.

It should also be noted how the White House handles these accusations and how seriously they take them. First, they kept Porter on for over a year after being informed of the accusations by the FBI. They even allowed him to handle classified information without having a permanent security clearance. Blackmail Schmackmail.

Trump has accused every woman claiming he groped them of lying, and that he’d eventually sue them all. He defended Roy Moore and argued that the man claimed he was innocent.

Friday, Trump talked about Porter and didn’t express any concern for the woman. He was only concerned for Porter and said, “he also, as you probably know, says he is innocent, and I think you have to remember that.” It’s interesting that Trump always repeats what the man claims, but never what the woman says.

When a woman is assaulted, what she needs most is to be believed. For some women, the most powerful man in the world is calling them liars and defending their attackers.

Equally disturbing is the fact there are multiple individuals in the White House who are working with classified information without a security clearance. Congress needs to demand how many are currently working without the clearance and who they are.

As ridiculous as it seems to go from the White House to competing on a reality TV show, perhaps everyone in the Trump administration needs to take a good hard luck at Omarosa’s current gig.

After sacrificing their dignity, credibility, respectability, humanity, and selling their souls, the only place that will take them seriously in their future will be reality TV.

Maybe Omarosa will scooch over and make room for them on the couch.

Here’s the video:

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude

General Papa John Kelly


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It seems so long ago that we had high hopes for General John Kelly and the influence he would command in the Oval Office.

The first publicly-known term for Kelly to take the job as the Chief-of-Staff was for Trump to get rid of Anthony Scaramucci. It gave us the impression he wouldn’t tolerate any nonsense, and when Scaramucci was fired we believed he had considerable influence on Donald Trump.

There were reports Kelly was running a tight ship. Staffers couldn’t just pop into the Oval Office anymore to share with the president the latest conspiracy theory they gleaned off InfoWars. People, even Jared and Ivanka, would need an appointment to meet with the president. Trump would also become more presidential, and we’d see fewer tweets from the First Toilet.

We all felt Kelly took the job out of an obligation to save the world from Trump. He would spare us from a nuclear Armageddon over an insult from North Korea, like “dotard.”

With General Kelly at the helm, we could sleep at nights.

Then, Trump said there were good people marching with Nazis. As the stupidity spilled from Trump’s mouth, Kelly was looking down at his shoes as though he was in serious anguish over the racist comments. We thought he was wondering what he “signed up for,” and how he could repair the problem in the White House.

As Trump spoke at the United Nations and referred to Kim Jong Un as “Little Rocket Man” and threatened to destroy him, Kelly sat in his chair nearly putting his head between his knees. We all assumed he was recoiling from the immature rant on an international stage. As it turns out, he was probably just suffering from dining on 7-11 breakfast burritos, and he was bargaining with God for the consequences to happen at any time, but not at that time.

Hope in Kelly started to dim as the tweets continued. Where was Kelly’s influence of being calm, reasonable, or at the very least, not acting like a man-baby with a full diaper?

Then, Kelly attacked a black Democratic Congresswoman. He accused her of politicizing the death of a slain soldier, even though Donald Trump had started it and even brought the death of the General’s son into the discussion. Kelly didn’t take down Trump’s lie that he’s the only president who ever called Gold Star families.

Kelly then told a lie about the congresswoman and called her an “empty barrel.” After footage of the event in question proved Kelly was a liar, the White House Spokesgoon, Sarah Huckabee Sanders told us that we shouldn’t “debate a four-star general.” To make matters worse, Kelly never apologized for using a racist insult, or for lying.

This week, Kelly defended white-people heritage by saying Robert E. Lee was an honorable man. He told us the Civil War was started by a “lack of ability to compromise,” ignoring the fact the root cause of the war was slavery. Duh!!! He claimed that people were more loyal to states than country back in the 1860s.

By now, the general’s credibility is on the same level as Papa John.

Papa John, the man who started a pizza company in a closet and now lives in a Kentucky castle told us that the anthem protests in the NFL are responsible for his decreased profits. Papa likes to say “better ingredients. Better pizza,” but what he’s really about is bigger bullshit.

John Schnatter, the CEO and founder of Papa John’s lost $70 million within hours after releasing its third-quarter financial report on Tuesday afternoon. After the report’s estimates on earnings and revenue hit Wall Street, the stock dropped 11% by 12:30 PM the next day.

Schnatter has criticized Obamacare in the past and used it to deny hours to his employees. He’s hosted fundraisers and contributed to the presidential campaigns of Mitt Romney and Donald Trump. Schnatter is becoming a hero to the far-right, the alt-right, the alt-white, and conservative goons in general. His pizza is probably now the favorite pizza for creepy icky people.

Thus, proving Republicans can swallow all sorts of disgusting bullshit.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.