John Kelly

Fox And Flunkies


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Trump’s lawyers are afraid to let him talk to Special Counsel Robert Mueller. In fact, they actually received a list of questions Mueller wants to ask, and they still don’t want him to testify. They’re afraid of a perjury trap, but how is it a perjury trap when you have the questions beforehand allowing you to practice your lies?

There are no perjury traps. There’s just perjury. You couldn’t ask Trump for his favorite snow cone flavor without him lying.

And, that’s the thing. Donald Trump is a walking, bleeding case of a bunch of perjuries. They’re afraid of him talking to the FBI, the Justice Department, and Mueller? Donald Trump can’t talk to Fox & Friends without destroying his presidency.

The good thing for Trump is that Fox & Friends are actually Fox & Flunkies. They practically hung up on Trump so he’d stop talking and cutting his own throat.

During his call to Fox & Sycophants, Trump admitted Michael Cohen represented him in the “crazy Stormy Daniels deal,” that there really isn’t attorney/client privilege as Cohen does a “very tiny, tiny little fraction” of actual legal work for him, admitted he stayed overnight in Moscow on pee-pee-hooker night after telling Comey TWICE that he didn’t, that he intends to obstruct justice in the future by meddling with the Justice Department, and that he only got Melania a card for her birthday. Melania can cheer up because her other gift was Trump admitting he slept with a porn star.

Former Secretary of State Rex Tillerson called Trump a “fucking moron,” and according to reports that rely on eight current and former White House sources, Chief of Staff John Kelly has referred to Trump as an idiot. If you can watch Fox & Friends, or read Trump’s tweets, or listen to him speak on any subject, and not believe he’s an idiot or a fucking moron, you have successfully been gas-lighted.

Trump complained about the “idiot” comment, calling it “fake news.” Yet, in the two tweets he sent complaining about it, he didn’t mention Kelly. He also complained about the leak of Mueller’s questions. The real question is; who leaked it? The White House leaked it which is the same place where NBC got the sources for Kelly’s comments. The White House is a sieve. Did new Trump lawyer Rudy Giuliani do the leaking?

Mueller’s list contains dozens of questions that he probably already has the answers to. The lies Trump gives for each of these questions will more than likely create new questions. One interesting question concerns Manafort attempting to contact Russia for help in the election. Previously, we were led to believe that Russia was the one attempting contact. Trump and his sycophants say there’s no evidence of collusion with Russia. The problem with that argument is that they don’t know what Mueller knows. Another problem is it may not be as much of a collusion as it is a conspiracy.

Trump would rather be a Chatty Cathy in the friendly environs of Fox & Friends instead of talking to Mueller’s team. The gang of stupids over at Fox aren’t as much journalists as they are Trump enablers and defenders. When Trump’s rant started to destroy his legal defense the Fox team hurriedly got him off the air, even though Trump was still ranting. As a Slate headline read; Old Man Yells At Country.

The old man is about to yell himself out of the presidency and potentially into prison. I agree with Stormy Daniels’ lawyer and wish that Trump would call Fox & Friends everyday. I’m sure Robert Mueller will be watching.

Here’s the video.

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A Blart On The Background


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During the presidential campaign, and repeated as a deflection from Trump corruption ever since, Republicans argued that Hillary Clinton wasn’t fit to be president because she potentially exposed classified information on her email server. This week, the what-about-her-emails crowd has more complaints about the Obama portraits than the lackadaisical attitude Donald Trump has toward classified information.

We knew for a while that Jared Kushner, Trump’s son-in-law and unqualified to do any job in the White House, has yet to be cleared for a security clearance. What was revealed from the Rob Porter scandal, other than Trump and John Kelly don’t take domestic violence seriously, is that there are many people working in the White House without a “permanent” security clearance.

First, there isn’t an actual permanent clearance. Every individual is subject to continuous evaluation and some clearances expire depending on the level. The FBI conducts the background checks. For secret and top-secret clearances, the White House has its own Office of Security that makes the decision on who gets clearance. For access to what is called Sensitive Compartmented Information (SCI), which is the highest level of classified information, that is done by one or more of the intelligence agencies, and usually, it’s the CIA with the White House. The White House Office of Security is run by career staff and not by political appointees. Jared has access to the highest level of classified info.

Sometimes, a clearance isn’t given because the FBI is having trouble finding information, and they believe there are holes, or they’re finding a lot of sketchy and questionable stuff, like wife-beating or in Jared’s case, lying on his forms.

How does a White House staffer keep his job with access to classified information without a clean report from the FBI? The Office of Security may grant temporary clearance, as they’re probably doing in the over 40 cases in the White House right now, or the president can use his Constitutional authority to order them to grant clearance (and we don’t know if that’s happened), or the White House may just ignore it altogether. That’s what’s happening in this case, and after it’s exposed, they lie and blame the FBI.

Tuesday, FBI director Christopher Wray told Congress that the FBI completed Rob Porter’s background investigation last July and closed it in January. As we know, Porter continued to work in the White House. Sarah Huckabee Sanders had claimed that they first learned of the accusations against Porter last week and that White House Counsel Don McGahn and Chief of Staff John Kelly were not informed previously. She also said that “the White House had not received any specific papers regarding the completion of that background check” by the time of Porter’s resignation. She said the White House Security Office felt the FBI’s report required more field investigation, though the FBI had closed its background check on Porter. Sanders was caught lying. I’m not sure she’s aware of that yet.

Trump promised us he’d hire the best people. He hasn’t even hired a Spokesgoon smart enough to know that you don’t lie about the FBI the day the FBI Director is testifying in front of Congress.

Trump also defended Porter and said he, and every man accused of beating a woman, deserves “due process.” I think a year-long background investigation by the FBI, who then reports that the guy is a wife beater, can be considered due process.

Trump campaigned arguing that we couldn’t trust our nation’s secrets with Hillary Clinton. After he won the election, the Obama administration was concerned about how much to tell Trump and his transition team because our intelligence sources knew there were Russian moles in the Trump campaign.

Obama warned Trump not to hire Michael Flynn. Trump hired Michael Flynn. Obama’s National Security Adviser, Susan Rice, had to find a way to work around providing information to her successor while knowing he was corrupted by the Russians.

After he became president, Trump invited the Russian ambassador, foreign minister, and their camera team into the Oval Office because Putin told him to. During that visit, Trump revealed classified information to them that was provided by an ally.

Then, Trump released the Nunes FISA memo over the objections of the Justice Department and the FBI.

Finally, Trump has unverified people working with classified information in the White House. Some of these people are susceptible to blackmail.

Congress needs a hearing to find out why so many people are working in the White House without clearances, who they are, and what level of classified information they have been granted access to. The Bush and Obama administrations didn’t suffer from these scandals, but then again, they didn’t staff their administrations with a bunch of wife-beaters and loan sharks.

The problem starts at the top. Donald Trump doesn’t hire the best people. In fact, he hires the worst people. The fact is we elected a guy who couldn’t pass the FBI background check.

The real problem is we elected the worst person.

Today’s video.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude

West Wing Beaters


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Earlier in the week, Deputy White House Press Secretary Raj Shah addressed comments made by Omarosa Manigault about the turmoil in the executive branch by saying, “Omarosa was fired three times on The Apprentice, and this is the fourth time we let her go.”

I am not defending Omarosa, who has gone from the West Wing to the reality show Big Brother where she said she is “haunted” by Donald Trump’s tweets, that things are “bad” inside the White House and that it’s “not going to be okay” there going forward. She was perfectly fine with the Trump administration when she was a part of it when she said, “Every critic, every detractor, will have to bow down to President Trump. It’s everyone who’s ever doubted Donald, whoever disagreed, whoever challenged him. It is the ultimate revenge to become the most powerful man in the universe.”

Criticizing Omarosa is fine, but what is this “we fired her” stuff? My point of contention is Mr. Shah’s comments about them firing her for the “fourth” time. Raj, the White House is not The Apprentice. It is not a reality TV show. Or is it?

White House Secretary Rob Porter resigned this week after it was revealed he’s been accused of beating both of his ex-wives. A former girlfriend has also made some accusations. As it turns out, the White House knew this for over a year as Porter was never cleared by the FBI for a security clearance.

White House Counsel Don McGahn was aware of this as well as Chief of Staff John Kelly. Kelly even defended Porter and attempted to talk him into staying. Later, Kelly told the White House staff to lie and tell the press that he had moved aggressively to oust him once his misdeeds were discovered. Remember when Kelly was supposed to be the moderating influence on this White House? Sure, he lied about a black congresswoman, Lied about Obama not calling Gold Star families, and said Dreamers won’t get off their “lazy asses,” but other than that, he’s a great influence.

Adding to the turmoil, Hope Hicks, Communications Director, and Porter’s squeeze, issued statements from the White House supportive of Porter. Stand by your man, Hope.

Treatment of women has become a serious issue for this White House. Original Campaign Director Corey Lewandowski grabbed a female reporter at an event. Steve Bannon has been accused of violence against an ex-wife. Trump’s first choice as Labor Secretary, Andrew Puzder, withdrew as the nominee after questions arose about him assaulting his ex-wife. On Friday, another member of the Trump team, speechwriter David Sorensen, resigned after accusations came to light of him assaulting (take one guess) his ex-wife. And, of course, there’s Donald Trump who has also been accused of assaulting his first ex-wife.

Not counting Trump, five people associated with this administration have been accused of violence against women. Do you know how many during the 16 years of the Bush and Obama administrations faced those types of allegations? Zero. And, it’s only been a year for the Trump team.

It should also be noted how the White House handles these accusations and how seriously they take them. First, they kept Porter on for over a year after being informed of the accusations by the FBI. They even allowed him to handle classified information without having a permanent security clearance. Blackmail Schmackmail.

Trump has accused every woman claiming he groped them of lying, and that he’d eventually sue them all. He defended Roy Moore and argued that the man claimed he was innocent.

Friday, Trump talked about Porter and didn’t express any concern for the woman. He was only concerned for Porter and said, “he also, as you probably know, says he is innocent, and I think you have to remember that.” It’s interesting that Trump always repeats what the man claims, but never what the woman says.

When a woman is assaulted, what she needs most is to be believed. For some women, the most powerful man in the world is calling them liars and defending their attackers.

Equally disturbing is the fact there are multiple individuals in the White House who are working with classified information without a security clearance. Congress needs to demand how many are currently working without the clearance and who they are.

As ridiculous as it seems to go from the White House to competing on a reality TV show, perhaps everyone in the Trump administration needs to take a good hard luck at Omarosa’s current gig.

After sacrificing their dignity, credibility, respectability, humanity, and selling their souls, the only place that will take them seriously in their future will be reality TV.

Maybe Omarosa will scooch over and make room for them on the couch.

Here’s the video:

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude

General Papa John Kelly


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It seems so long ago that we had high hopes for General John Kelly and the influence he would command in the Oval Office.

The first publicly-known term for Kelly to take the job as the Chief-of-Staff was for Trump to get rid of Anthony Scaramucci. It gave us the impression he wouldn’t tolerate any nonsense, and when Scaramucci was fired we believed he had considerable influence on Donald Trump.

There were reports Kelly was running a tight ship. Staffers couldn’t just pop into the Oval Office anymore to share with the president the latest conspiracy theory they gleaned off InfoWars. People, even Jared and Ivanka, would need an appointment to meet with the president. Trump would also become more presidential, and we’d see fewer tweets from the First Toilet.

We all felt Kelly took the job out of an obligation to save the world from Trump. He would spare us from a nuclear Armageddon over an insult from North Korea, like “dotard.”

With General Kelly at the helm, we could sleep at nights.

Then, Trump said there were good people marching with Nazis. As the stupidity spilled from Trump’s mouth, Kelly was looking down at his shoes as though he was in serious anguish over the racist comments. We thought he was wondering what he “signed up for,” and how he could repair the problem in the White House.

As Trump spoke at the United Nations and referred to Kim Jong Un as “Little Rocket Man” and threatened to destroy him, Kelly sat in his chair nearly putting his head between his knees. We all assumed he was recoiling from the immature rant on an international stage. As it turns out, he was probably just suffering from dining on 7-11 breakfast burritos, and he was bargaining with God for the consequences to happen at any time, but not at that time.

Hope in Kelly started to dim as the tweets continued. Where was Kelly’s influence of being calm, reasonable, or at the very least, not acting like a man-baby with a full diaper?

Then, Kelly attacked a black Democratic Congresswoman. He accused her of politicizing the death of a slain soldier, even though Donald Trump had started it and even brought the death of the General’s son into the discussion. Kelly didn’t take down Trump’s lie that he’s the only president who ever called Gold Star families.

Kelly then told a lie about the congresswoman and called her an “empty barrel.” After footage of the event in question proved Kelly was a liar, the White House Spokesgoon, Sarah Huckabee Sanders told us that we shouldn’t “debate a four-star general.” To make matters worse, Kelly never apologized for using a racist insult, or for lying.

This week, Kelly defended white-people heritage by saying Robert E. Lee was an honorable man. He told us the Civil War was started by a “lack of ability to compromise,” ignoring the fact the root cause of the war was slavery. Duh!!! He claimed that people were more loyal to states than country back in the 1860s.

By now, the general’s credibility is on the same level as Papa John.

Papa John, the man who started a pizza company in a closet and now lives in a Kentucky castle told us that the anthem protests in the NFL are responsible for his decreased profits. Papa likes to say “better ingredients. Better pizza,” but what he’s really about is bigger bullshit.

John Schnatter, the CEO and founder of Papa John’s lost $70 million within hours after releasing its third-quarter financial report on Tuesday afternoon. After the report’s estimates on earnings and revenue hit Wall Street, the stock dropped 11% by 12:30 PM the next day.

Schnatter has criticized Obamacare in the past and used it to deny hours to his employees. He’s hosted fundraisers and contributed to the presidential campaigns of Mitt Romney and Donald Trump. Schnatter is becoming a hero to the far-right, the alt-right, the alt-white, and conservative goons in general. His pizza is probably now the favorite pizza for creepy icky people.

Thus, proving Republicans can swallow all sorts of disgusting bullshit.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.