Jim Jordan

Mixed Up Cover-Ups


The January 6 Committee, that congressional group investigating the attack on the Capitol committed by white nationalist Trump supporters, has subpoenaed congressman Jim Jordan.

Jim Jordan is that Republican who uses congressional hearings to protect Trump. When he questions witnesses, he doesn’t allow them to answer. He uses his time to make accusations. When he questions witnesses on his side, he leads them with his fake questions. He spends all his time deflecting for Donald Trump. And let’s not forget his lying and deflecting to cover up the Ohio State wrestling sex abuse scandal.

Even now, he’s using a misplaced period to argue the committee is a sham.

Jim Jordan sent a text to Trump’s White House chief-of-staff arguing how vice-president (sic) Mike Pence should throw out electoral votes.

During one of the committee’s hearings, Schiff presented a graphic of a text sent by Jim Jordan, though we didn’t know the sender was Jordan at the time and Schiff didn’t out him. The graphic of the text read, “On January 6, 2021, Vice President Mike Pence, as President of the Senate, should call out all electoral votes that he believes are unconstitutional as no electoral votes at all.”

Republicans complained this text was doctored by Schiff because he added a period and left off the rest of the text. The Federalist, a right-wing goon publication, expressed outrage that Schiff would misrepresent the words of Jim Jordan in such a manner, inadvertently revealing the sender of the text was Jim Jordan. Republicans are stupid. It’s like Jim Jordan was robbing a bank with pantyhose on his head and one of his colleagues called him by his name. “Hey, Jim Jordan…you with the pantyhose on your head, did you get all the 20s?”

I think that image will be in my head all day now.

Schiff, or whoever prepared the graphic, should have added an ellipsis instead of a period at the end of the text. But, so what? The committee admitted there was more to the text, but they only felt the need to show the first paragraph in the graphic because the text was long. The context was not removed. Jim Jordan’s intention was to throw out a democratically-held election and install a dictator. That’s the intention in the first, second, and third paragraphs.

Also, next time you hear them screaming about this “doctoring” of the text, take note they’re not saying what was doctored. Also, try to remember all the times Republicans have taken someone’s words out of context.

The full text reads, “On January 6, 2021, Vice President Mike Pence, as President of the Senate, should call out all electoral votes that he believes are unconstitutional as no electoral votes at all — in accordance with guidance from founding father Alexander Hamilton and judicial precedence. ‘No legislative act,’ wrote Alexander Hamilton in Federalist No. 78, ‘contrary to the Constitution, can be valid.’

“The court in Hubbard v. Lowe reinforced this truth: ‘That an unconstitutional statute is not a law at all is a proposition no longer open to discussion.’ 226 F. 135, 137 (SDNY 1915), appeal dismissed, 242 U.S. 654 (1916). Following this rationale, an unconstitutionally appointed elector, like an unconstitutionally enacted statute, is no elector at all.”

See? That’s a long as text. Plus, the Alexander-Hamilton argument is pure bullshit.

Jim Jordan, the king of deflectors, is screaming about the period being added instead of the dash. They’re claiming this is “evidence tampering.” Others have called for Schiff to be “indicted for conspiracy to commit treason by doctoring evidence.” Mark Levin, a Fox News goon, said California’s Supreme Court should consider revoking Schiff’s law license.

This is a great distraction from the fact Jim Jordan advocated for throwing out electoral votes. Jim Jordan got a Juris Doctor from Capital University Law School, but he never took the bar exam. It’s a good thing too because if we’re disbarring lawmakers for lying…yeah. Jim Jordan has told a few.

Right now, the only political leader who lost his law license I can think of is Rudy Giuliani, you know…because he’s a liar. And, he was telling the same lies as Jim Jordan.

House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy originally attempted to put Jordan on the January 6 Committee which would have been like putting Kyle Rittenhouse on his own jury. Eh, same results.

Now, everyone’s questioning if a House committee can issue a subpoena for a member of the House. Yes, they can. Jordan has said he has “nothing to hide,” so the committee is asking him, along with fellow House Goon Scott Perry, who’s refusing to cooperate. If he has nothing to hide, Jim Jordan will proudly prance his lying ass before the committee and tell the truth (BWAHAHAHAHA) about everything he knows concerning the insurrection on January 6, 2021.

The committee should subpoena these guys and if they refuse the subpoenas, then they have invalidated every future committee they serve on should they regain the majority. Let’s pretend for a moment their Benghazi hearings didn’t already do that.

If the MAGAt goons continue to defy subpoenas, then they should be referred to the Justice Department for criminal contempt. I’d like to say I wouldn’t lose any sleep if Jim Jordan goes to jail, but that’s not true. I’ll lose a lot of sleep while lying awake giggling my ass off.

The Democrats need to stop playing softball with these treasonous Republicans. Let’s send some people to jail. These guys tried to overthrow the government and install an unelected dictator. They tried to throw out an election. They’re members of Congress. They should be trying to protect the nation, not destroy it.

And while they’re at it, they need to issue subpoenas for more House members like Matt Gaetz, Marjorie Taylor Greene, Louie Gohmert, and Lauren Boebert, who had given tours to the white nationalist terrorists days before the attack and was texting locations of House members during the attack.

They need to subpoena some senators too, most notably Josh Hawley and Ted Cruz.

They need to subpoena additional goons like Rudy Giuliani, Sidney Powell, and everyone who was around Trump on January 6. This includes Don Jr and Ivanka. Line ’em all up.

Don’t let these seditious criminals tell you how to investigate their crimes.

And when these Republicans threaten revenge when they regain the House, if you go after their crimes, ignore them. You can ignore them because right now, they’re telling you it’s OK to ignore subpoenas and the law.

Seriously, trying to overthrow the government should be illegal…even for members of the government.

Music note: I listened to Alanis Morisdette, Better Than Ezra, and the Black Keys while drawing this cartoon.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 18 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

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The Squawking Heads


After Representative Paul Gosar tweeted an anime depicting himself murdering fellow representative Alexandria Ocasio Cortez, he pulled it off Twitter and told Speaker Nancy Pelosi, “Relax. It’s just a cartoon.” After he was censored by the House and lost his committee assignments, he posted it back on Twitter.

Keep in mind, he didn’t just see something on Twitter, find it amusing, and retweet it, which would have been bad enough. Remember when Trump retweeted Nazis? Yeah. No, what Gosar did was have his staff create this anime threatening to murder AOC, his colleague.

So, how many times have you threatened to kill a coworker and kept your job?

Last week, Representative Lauren Boebert was speaking to constituents in the dumb part of Colorado (I love you, Colorado…most of you) when she made a joke about Representative Ilhan Omar, who is Muslim, being a terrorist. She told a story about being in an elevator with Omar at the Capital complex and Omar had a backpack. According to Boebert, she made a joke to Omar about her backpack being a bomb. Her Islamophobic audience all had a hearty laugh. She also said Omar was a member of the “Jihad Squad.”

Omar said this event never happened except in Boebert’s imagination.

In the past, Boebert has falsely described Omar as an advocate “for state-sponsored terrorism” and claimed she’s an “honorary member of Hamas” who is a “terrorist sympathizer.” Omar is about as much of a member of Hamas as Boebert is a Nazi and a full-fledged member of the KKK. OK, bad example.

Boebert later talked to Omar on the phone and the conversation started south and went further south. According to Omar, she hung up on Boebert. Talking to someone like Boebert is like talking to a pigheaded racist child…or one of my conservative critics. Boebert did apologize to the Muslim community but refused to apologize to Omar.

Boebert said she demanded that Omar apologize for her “anti-American, anti-Semitic, anti-police rhetoric,” none of which has anything to do with what Boebert said. Lauren Boebert is not an adult and she’s in Congress. Unfortunately, there are a lot of racist babies in Congress.

Paul Gosar knows there have been death threats on Ocasio-Cortez. What he did was endorse these death threats, encourage them, and maybe he even attempted to instigate a murder attempt. The same goes for Boebert. What she did was encourage hate, not just for Omar, but against all Muslims.

Republicans are making up a “war on Christmas” while one of them is pushing a stereotype that all Muslims are terrorists. Fun fact: Most terrorism in the United States is committed by white Christian males and NOT Muslims.

This is what the Republican Party has become. Earlier this year, the House sanctioned Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene and pulled her committee assignments after she issued death threats on her Democratic colleagues.

When Republicans defended Gosar, they lied. Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy said Gosar never saw the video before his staff posted it and that he apologized. He said, “It was not his intent to show any harm.” The video showed him cutting off a female coworker’s head.

Minority Whip Steve Scalise, who had been shot in an act of political violence, said, “He put out a statement, and he took the video down.”

Representative Tom Cole said Gosar admitted “to a lapse of judgment.”

Representative Mario Diaz said Gosar apologized.

Matt Gaetz said Gosar already addressed his “misguided decision.”

But the thing is, he never apologized and I’m pretty positive he had seen the video before he tweeted it a second time. Gosar told right-wing fucknut news, “I explained to them what was happening. I did not apologize. I said this video didn’t have anything to do with harming anybody.”

Gosar claimed Democrats, liberals, and the media were trying to “cancel” him and said, “If my cartoon can be banned and my free speech is to be banned, then the Cartoon Network, Nickelodeon, Disney and indeed most of Hollywood obviously could be banned as well — not to mention Wile E. Coyote and the Road Runner.”

Leave it to a Republican to issue a death threat and claim he’s the victim.

Of course Gosar believes it’s his free speech to threaten to murder someone. They also believe it’s free speech when parents call school board members at 3:00 AM and say, “I know where you live, motherfucker.”

Republicans are refusing to condemn violence and bigotry because they’re afraid it’ll upset their base. This is the new Republican Party where the members are in a race to be the vilest amongst them. The GOP is less of a party and more of a cult focused on hate, lies, violence, and gaslighting.

Now, I’m waiting to see who has a problem with this cartoon? Will it be Republicans, Trumpsters, social media?

Relax. It’s just a cartoon.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 18 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

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Flinging With Kevin


Kevin McCarthy says he wants to find all the facts of the January 6 insurrection at the U.S. Capitol but he can’t trust a partisan committee of Democrats, so he’s going to create a partisan committee of Republicans.

The first time the Democrats tried to create a committee to investigate what happened on January 6, they consulted with Republicans before they held a vote. Kevin McCarthy demanded equal representation on the committee with full subpoena power. He got that. But since he never wanted an investigation in the first place, his party still voted against the committee. Do you know what they called a committee with an even number of Democrats and Republicans with both having full subpoena power? They called it “partisan.”

The vote passed the House for that commission, but Republicans in the Senate killed it, thanks to the filibuster bullshit Joe Manchin won’t get rid of. Since Democrats control the House, Nancy Pelosi decided to take matters into her own hands and create a House Commission…and she still invited Republicans. In fact, she even gave one of the Democratic seats to a Republican.

But this time, since Republicans rejected the committee that gave them everything they demanded, Pelosi decided this one would have eight Democratic appointments and five from Republicans. So while Kevin is screaming the committee is partisan, it’s really not. But, in order to avoid Republican bullshit as much as she can, she gave herself the power to veto any of Kevin McCarthy’s picks. That was a smart move on her part.

At first, Kevin said he wouldn’t appoint anyone to the committee and warned that if any Republicans joined, then he would strip them of all committee assignments. Then, he changed his mind and set out to select five goons, er, Republicans to sit on the fact-finding committee. Kevin appointed Rodney Davis, Kelly Armstrong, and Troy Nehls, with only Nehls of the three not voting to certify the election.

But, he also appointed Jim Banks and Donald Trump’s favorite poo-flinging monkey, Jim Jordan. McCarthy’s intention was to seat members who would deflect and distract during testimonies. Basically, fling poo.

Surprise! Nancy Pelosi rejected Banks and Jordan. McCarthy responded by pulling all five of his members from the committee and said, “Unless Speaker Pelosi reverses course and seats all five Republican nominees, Republicans will not be party to their sham process and will instead pursue our own investigation of the facts.”

First off, Kevin…what are you threatening with? What do you have?

Second, you don’t put fuckers like Banks and Jordan on a committee when you’re trying to find facts. Nancy was right to pull those two members.

Before his selection, Jim Banks said the committee to investigate what happened on January 6 at the U.S. Capitol shouldn’t have anything to do with investigating what happened on January 6 at the U.S. Capitol. Later, he said the committee should investigate what President Biden had to do with the attack and why he didn’t stop it. Joe Biden was NOT President when the attacked happened. That’s some serious gaslighting.

Jim Jordan, like Banks, voted against certifying the election. During a speech on January 6, Jim Jordan said he would never be convinced Joe Biden won the election because Trump had a lot of people at his rallies and Biden rarely left his house to campaign. So sure, let’s put the guy on the committee who would rather go with his gut than election results.

Jim Jordan also coordinated with Donald Trump in trying to stop certifying the election and with spreading the Big Lie that he won. Trump gave Jim Jordan a fucking medal for his gaslighting and lying about the election.

You cannot put people on a fact-finding committee who believe they are entitled to their own facts. You also shouldn’t put people on a committee who may be witnesses. Hell, you shouldn’t let a witness select members of the committee.

Jim Jordan should be subpoenaed to testify. He says he talks to Donald Trump weekly. Kevin McCarthy was on the phone with Trump during the insurrection, so he’s a witness too.

The one Republican on the committee, Liz Cheney, slapped Jim Jordan’s hand on January 6 during the insurrection and told him, “You fucking did this.”

Republicans cry that this commission is only out to get Donald Trump. That’s like whining the O.J. trial was only out to get O.J.

McCarthy whined, “This represents an egregious abuse of power and will irreparably damage this institution,” he said in his statement. “Denying the voices of members who have served in the military and law enforcement, as well as leaders of standing committees, has made it undeniable that this panel has lost all legitimacy and credibility and shows the Speaker is more interested in playing politics than seeking the truth.” But you don’t seek the truth with people like Jim Banks and Jim Jordan.

The attack on the Capitol was conducted by Trump supporters. This is a fact. They were white nationalists. That is another fact. They made a bee line from a Trump rally to the Capitol after Trump told them to. We have it on tape. They were not welcomed into the Capitol by the police with hugs and kisses as Donald Trump claims. They broke through police lines, beat cops with flag poles, pipes, batons and other weapons, while spraying them with bear spray. They climbed in through broken windows, stomped on police, shit and pissed in the hallways, and even bit one cop’s fingers off. Over 300 Proud Boys were involved, wearing bullet proof vests, military helmets, and coordinating through walkie-talkies. Some were carrying nooses while screaming to hang Mike Pence. Some had Confederate and Neo-Nazi flags. And of course, there were Trump and MAGA flags. And Republicans don’t want to get to the bottom of any of this.

McCarthy says the committee needs to find out why Pelosi failed in protecting the Capitol, yet during the insurrection, he was on a phone pleading with Donald Trump to send the National Guard…which Trump ignored for hours. He doesn’t want to investigate that?

The hearings start on July 27 and the first four witnesses are Capitol Police officers who were injured during the attack. Republicans don’t want to hear their testimony. Other witnesses should be Jim Jordan, Kevin McCarthy, Ivanka Trump and chief-of-staff Mark Meadows, who kept sending Ivanka to plead with her father to call the rioters off.

Others who witnessed Trump in the White House that day include Keith Kellogg, Eric Herschmann, Dan Scavino, Kayleigh McEnany, Rudy Giuliani, Donald Trump Jr, Eric Trump, and Kimberly Guilfoyle. They should all receive subpoenas to testify. So should Mike Pence, who Trump orderd to come to the White House so he could order him to overturn the election. John Eastman and Mo Brooks, who both spoke at the rally on January 6, should also be made to testify.

During the attack, McCarthy was on the phone with Trump. Trump told him the attackers were Antifa. After McCarthy assured him they were indeed Trump supporters, Trump said, “Well, Kevin, I guess these people are more upset about the election than you are.”

McCarthy knows the truth but he doesn’t want it revealed. He’s like a victim of spousal abuse telling the cops nothing happened and he just clumsily walked into the wall again. Oddly enough, his refusal to participate may be the best thing he can do for our country.

Now, without McCarthy’s poo-flinging monkeys on board, this committee can get to the bottom of the attack on the Capitol by Trump’s MAGA terrorists.

Thank you, Nancy Pelosi, for rejecting the poo-flinging monkeys.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are ZERO copies of my book in stock, which usually go for $45.00 each, signed. Another order will be placed soon. You may pre-order if you want. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

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Shut Your Pie Hole


Congressman Jim Jordan does not get along with black women.

To be fair to Jordan, he is an asshole. Assholes have trouble getting along with a lot of people. Still being fair, there are people who do like Jim Jordan…of course, those same people also like guys like Ted Cruz, Donald Trump, Matt Gaetz, and white nationalist terrorists who stomp on police officers. And that’s what got Jordan into the sticky situation he found himself in on Tuesday.

On the same day the jury delivered guilty, guilty, guilty verdicts in the Derek Chauvin trial, Jim Jordan made a huge racist asshole out of himself. To be fair, he’s a racist asshole every day so it wasn’t that unique to happen the same day as a verdict. My verdict is, Jim Jordan is a racist asshole.

House Democrats have drafted a Hate Crimes Act calling for an expedited Justice Department review of pandemic-era hate crimes against Asian Americans, the establishment of an online reporting mechanism for state and local law enforcement agencies, and data collection and public reporting on hate crime. The one thing this bill does NOT do is defund the police.

Republicans proposed an amendment to the bill that would prevent defunding or abolishing police. It’s not relevant. During a committee hearing on the bill, Chairman Jerry Nadler and Democrat Val Demings both called the amendment “irrelevant.” Jim Jordan started screaming it was as “relevant as it gets” because last week, a member of “the Squad” said police should be abolished. One person who has NOT called for defunding the police is President Joe Biden who has come out strongly against it. So, defunding the police is NOT happening. The amendment is not relevant. It’s useless and just for show.

Demings said, “I served as a law enforcement officer for 27 years. It is a tough job, and good police officers deserve your support. It’s interesting to see my colleagues on the other side of the aisle support the police when it is politically convenient to do so.”

Deming told Jordan, “You and your colleagues should be ashamed of yourselves.” I’m pretty sure she already knows Jim Jordan, being a Trump sycophant, has no shame.

She also told the Republicans, “This is emotionally charging for me because I was a law enforcement officer. I have watched them live and die and you know nothing about that. To utilize them as political pawns pisses me off.”

As Jordan tried to interrupt, because he does that a lot with black women, Demings asked, “Did I strike a nerve?”

There should be a nerve there because Republicans only use police when it’s politically convenient. When it comes to choosing between Trump’s white nationalist MAGAt terrorists or cops, Republicans like Jim Jordan choose the terrorists. We literally have supporters of terrorism in Congress.

It’s kinda like being supportive of our troops until it’s not politically convenient. Republicans were outraged when Colin Kaepernick kneeled during the national anthem and claimed it was disrespectful to our troops, but are still silent over reports Vladimir Putin placed bounties on our troops…and silent over Trump trying to cover it up.

Last week, Jim Jordan went over his allotted time during another House hearing and continued to berate Dr. Anthony Fauci for being a scientist. Jordan was screaming so hard, he couldn’t keep his face mask on. Then, Democrat Maxine Waters told Jordan to “shut your mouth.” Jim Jordan is on a roll when it comes to pissing off black women. They should make him a pie.

Jim Jordan is only useful to Republicans as a poo-flinging monkey. During committee hearings, he berates witnesses in the name of Trump, latches onto conspiracy theories, and repeats GOP talking points. Other Republicans often give him their allotted time so he can keep harassing witnesses. Jordan rarely asks any actual questions and spends most of his, and others’, time screaming for his white-privilege outrage.

Outside of screaming headlines for Fox News, OANN, Newsmax, and the Daily Stormer, Jordan is useless. The Center for Elective Law Making, a joint project between Vanderbilt University and the University of Virginia, ranked Jordan as the 202 most effective Republican in the House at passing legislation. There are 205 Republicans in the House. That would be like me being told as a cartoonist, I’m only better than Gary McCoy and that Branco fucker. That would hurt.

As my Uncle Rock would probably say if he was still alive, Jim Jordan is about as useful as a screen door on a submarine.

If you want someone to browbeat scientists, public servants, patriots, and black women, then Jim Jordan is your dude. If you need someone to look the other way while you sexually assault college wrestlers in the showers, Jim Jordan is your man. If you need someone who will actually do the job one typically expects of a congressman, like drafting, sponsoring, and passing legislation to make this country better, Jim Jordan is NOT the guy for that job. A poo-flinging monkey would probably rank higher than 202. A poo-flinging monkey would probably have the class and dignity to at least wear a jacket during committee hearings.

Jim Jordan is such a Trump sycophant, he’s picked up the Trump trait of feuding with black women…and being afraid of them. The question for Jim Jordan is: Are you merely a sexist asshole or are you a racist sexist asshole?

Even a poo-flinging monkey can see that Jim Jordan is a racist sexist asshole. Jim, put on a jacket and shut your pie hole.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have FIVE copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

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Defender of perverts


Ted Cruz, Matt Gaetz, Jim Jordan, what is it with MAGAt Republicans and punchable faces?

I made a post on social media this week that I turned into this cartoon. After receiving over 300 reactions, I thought, “Why not?”.

Congressman Jim Jordan, who is one of Trump’s biggest henchmen in Congress, who claims he never knew about wrestlers he coached being sexually abused, who voted against impeaching Trump both times, and may be his defense attorney when the Senate trial begins, received the Presidential Medal of Freedom last week.

After watching the medal go to people like Jordan and Rush Limbaugh, I truly hope Joe Biden can restore the integrity to it. Just like Trump’s court nominees, every one of his recipients will have an asterisk next to it.

As for Gym Jordan, he’s real good at ignoring the bad guys, whether it’s Donald Trump molesting the nation or MAGA terrorists sent by Trump to molest the capitol building. Jordan should be counsel for Trump, because he’s a friend to perverts.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have an order of 20 copies of my book (11 are left to purchase) on the way, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. The books won’t arrive until after the new year, but orders are being taken and they’ll be shipped as soon as I receive them. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

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Poo-Flinging Republicans


Jim Jordan has a law degree but he never took the bar examination. It’s a good thing, too, because, there are some legal details he doesn’t understand, like corroborating witnesses.

Jordan pointed out that neither William B. Taylor Jr., the top U.S. diplomat in Ukraine, nor George Kent, a deputy assistant secretary of State specializing in Ukrainian matters, had never spoken to Donald Trump. Jordan’s argument was that it makes their testimony moot. Republicans love to compare the impeachment proceedings to a court of law, but corroborating witnesses are used in court all the time.

The other hole in this argument, that no witnesses are testifying who have spoken directly to Trump about the matter, is that it’s Trump who is preventing them from testifying. Republicans really don’t want their bluff called and see Acting Chief-of-Staff Mick Mulvaney or former National Security Adviser John Bolton testify.

Jordan also complained that the whistleblower isn’t testifying. Perhaps if Jordan had taken that bar exam, he’d know the whistleblower is another corroborating witness who isn’t needed on top of all the other corroborating witnesses. Also, maybe he’d realize it’s illegal to expose, intimidate, threaten, or harm a whistleblower. On top of all that, it’s a dick move on his part. But dick moves are all Jim Jordan has.

By the way, Linda Tripp heard it from a friend.

Jordan’s complaint is that Democrats are refusing to let the “guy that started it all” testify, as Republicans want him to do. Democrat Peter Welch replied, “I say to my colleague, I’d be glad to have the person who started it all come in and testify. President Trump is welcome to take a seat right there.” Ouch.

Jordan and Republicans also argued that Donald Trump has done more for Ukraine than Obama. I’m not sure how Obama doing little for Ukraine is a defense for Trump abusing his office, but remember…I didn’t take a bar exam. They pointed out that more money has been directed to Ukraine from Trump than Obama since Russia invaded that nation. They failed to mention that Obama worked to oust Russia from the G-7 as one response, and Trump is trying to invite Putin back. Also, Trump wants to go to Moscow and watch a parade of Russian military weaponry that will probably continue parading all the way down to Crimea. Yeah, they didn’t mention any of that.

Jim Jordan also argued there is no crime here since Trump failed at it. If you’re ever caught robbing a bank, just tell them you failed because you couldn’t find the safe. They’ll let you go. If they don’t, call Jim Jordan.

They argue that Trump released the money he was withholding from Ukraine after he vetted them. The truth is, he released the money that was approved by Congress to help Ukraine defend itself from Russia after the whistleblower made his complaint.

The Republicans were outmatched. All they had were conspiracy theories. They have a defendant who has admitted he pressed a foreign country to help his political campaign. They have Trump on tape asking another foreign nation to investigate his political opponent. They have Rudy Giuliani’s confession he’s asked Ukraine to investigate Trump’s political opponents. They have Mick Mulvaney’s confession there was a quid pro quo and that we should get over it. Now they’re going to have another witness testify he overheard Trump asking the ambassador to the EU, Gordon Sondland, about Ukraine investigating the Bidens.

Republicans made Jordan a temporary member of the House Intelligence Committee because they believe his hard-charging style of being an asshole would be their best defense of Donald Trump from impeachment. Jordan’s job is to scream, yell, ask questions in a shotgun fashion, expose the whistleblower, deflect, confuse the public, and spread Trump’s debunked conspiracy theories. It’s his job to throw poo.

Jim Jordan was an assistant wrestling coach at Ohio State for eight years. He’s been accused of being aware of and not acting on sexual misconduct by a team doctor. Somehow, according to the allegations, the doctor whacked off over 180 times in the shower in front of student-athletes over eight years without Jordan ever hearing about it. But hey, if Dr. Shower Whacker needs someone to ignore the crime and scream at his accusers, Jordan’s his guy.

Maybe Republicans should have brought in a poo-flinging monkey instead of Jordan. At least in the monkey’s defense, he didn’t take the bar exam.

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Whose Liar Is It Anyway?


Democrats spent the majority of Michael Cohen’s testimony asking questions about Donald Trump. Republicans spent all of their time asking Michael Cohen questions about Michael Cohen.

Republicans, ranking member Jim Jordan in particular, pointed out that the first witness called for the first hearing in the Democrat-controlled 116th Congress is a man convicted of lying to Congress. Since Jordan is a Republican, his opening remarks and point was…wait for it…A LIE! This is actually the third hearing in the 116th Congress and since those hearings had witnesses, Cohen is not the first.

Each Republican on the House Oversight Committee used their time to attack Cohen as a liar and convicted perjurer. Nobody defended that, including Cohen because he’s a liar and convicted perjurer. Michael Cohen is going to prison for his lies. The Republicans even went as far as propping up a poster of Cohen’s face with the text, “Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire.” Seriously. Unfortunately for the Republican members on the committee, they forgot three things.

The Republicans forgot to defend Donald Trump. They forgot the man they’re protecting is a known pathological liar. Mostly, they forgot what Cohen was lying about and for when he committed perjury before Congress in his first hearing. Men who are destroying their credibility for Donald Trump were attacking the credibility of a man who destroyed his for Donald Trump.

Former New Jersey governor Chris Christie said on ABC that he can “guarantee” Trump is “sitting in Vietnam right now, fuming that no one’s defending him.” He also argued the performance was “either a failure of those Republicans on the Hill or a failure of the White House to have a unified strategy with them.” One senior House Republican who requested anonymity told The Washington Post, “The reason there was no defense is because there is no defense.”

Cohen is Trump’s former fixer, and it seemed like each Republican on the committee was angling to be his replacement.

One attempt to defend Trump was when Mark Meadows brought one of Trump’s few black friends to stand behind him as a prop as he challenged Cohen’s allegation that Trump is a racist. He literally played the black friend defense. Then, Meadows got upset when it was pointed out he used a black person as a prop, which in itself is racist. His defense of not being a racist was…wait for it…he has black friends.

Freshman Ayanna Pressley asked Cohen a question that was probably more for Meadows. The Democrat asked, “Would you agree that someone could deny rental units to African Americans, lead the birther movement, refer to the diaspora as ‘shithole countries,’ refer to white supremacists as ‘fine people,’ have a black friend, and still be racist?” That answer was “yes.”

Cohen alleged that Trump knew about the hacking of the Democratic National Committee before WikiLeaks had released the documents. He also claimed Trump reimbursed him for hush payments to women while he was president, and said Trump called him at one point to ensure he kept lying about those payments. He also produced the checks showing Trump had reimbursed him, which were made out, signed, and dated after Trump became President Trump. He even implicated Don Jr. and Ivanka in the Moscow Trump Tower project.

Cohen described Trump as a conman, a liar, and a racist. Stuff we already knew. He claimed Trump had him threaten people over 500 times, which is almost as many times as the committee Republicans said “liar, liar, pants on fire.”

Cohen, the liar, even defended Trump from a few rumors, such as having a love child, striking his wife, ordering Roger Stone to engage with Wikileaks, and the Russians possessing a tape that could be used as blackmail against Trump (you know, the pee tape). But then again, Cohen is a known liar and Republicans say we shouldn’t believe him.

Republicans still don’t get it. If there is a danger, you need to address it. Not hide and protect it. If the president of the United States has broken the law, cheated to win the election, obstructed justice, or sold his nation out to an adversarial nation for his financial interest, it’s in every American’s best interest to know the answers.

When the Republicans controlled the committees, they refused to ask questions or even call some witnesses in their campaign to defend Trump. Then-Intelligence Committee Chairman Devin Nunes used his position and hearings to gather intel to update the White House. They worked to protect those who may have betrayed the nation. They attacked law enforcement while defending a suspected Russian spy. This week, Republican Matt Gaetz tweeted a threat to Cohen the night before his testimony, which is a crime and a very Michael Cohen kind of thing to do, back when he was Trump’s fixer. Jim Jordan complained that there was even a hearing today, and these are the guys who created five different House committee investigations into Benghazi.

Republicans claim Michael Cohen is lying in his attacks against Trump. What Republicans are truly upset about is that Cohen has stopped lying for Trump.

It’s one thing for your crazy Republican uncle to refuse to defend America. It’s another for those elected and whose job it is to defend our country. Republicans have proven time and time again they’re more interested in being Trump sycophants, stooges, and cultists than defenders of our nation.

Republicans need to stop being Republicans for a minute and start being Americans.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
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Sticky Fingers


Yesterday, the Justice Department announced that Special Counsel Robert Mueller has indicted 12 Russians for meddling in the 2016 presidential election in an effort to support the candidacy of Donald Trump. The indictments bring the Russia investigation closer to Trump, and unfortunately for him, the only ones standing in the way to obstruct the investigation are the conspiracy-driven lunatics at Fox News and the Republican imbeciles in Congress.

The House Judiciary Committee dragged FBI agent Peter Strzok before them for a theatrical hearing to make the case that the FBI is part of the “deep state” gunning to take down Trump. Their argument is based on text messages he sent to his lover that were critical of Trump, while he was a part of two separate investigations of both presidential candidates.

Strzok argued that having a political opinion does not make someone biased. Biased is when you allow your opinion to get in the way of your work, which Strzok did not do. The evidence to that is, the FBI never leaked that they were investigating a possible Trump/Russia connection during the campaign, yet agents leaked information and there were multiple press conferences about the Clinton investigation.

There is a difference between being biased and informed. It is difficult to find a highly skilled, experienced, and intelligent professional who doesn’t have a negative opinion about Donald Trump. Don’t most investigators have a negative opinion of their subjects as they gain more information?

Democratic Congressman Ted Lieu said at one point during the showcase, “This is a stupid and ridiculous hearing.” Now, after yesterday’s indictments, we know why at least one Republican is desperate to stop Mueller’s investigation.

The indictments informed us that one Congressional candidate asked Gucifer 2.0, the Russian hackers, for stolen documents from Democrats, and received it. The report didn’t state if this candidate is presently in Congress or even what party they are a member of, but it’s kinda far-fetched to believe it’s not a Republican. If Mueller knows about this exchange, then he also knows who the suspect is.

Now, we get to play the game of guessing which Kool-Aid drinking, cultish, treasonous, Putin’s puppet of a Republican goon is going to prison. My candidates are Devin Nunes, Jim Jordan (who has other issues to answer for), Trey Gowdy, Steve King, Darrell Issa, Matt Gaetz, Louie Gohmert, and Bob Goodlatte. There are other contenders but this is my candy store. It’s really hard to pick just one sycophant.

If they all can’t go to prison, perhaps the voters can keep each of them from returning to Congress.

Watch me draw.

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