Jim Jordan

Flinging With Kevin


Cjones07252021

Kevin McCarthy says he wants to find all the facts of the January 6 insurrection at the U.S. Capitol but he can’t trust a partisan committee of Democrats, so he’s going to create a partisan committee of Republicans.

The first time the Democrats tried to create a committee to investigate what happened on January 6, they consulted with Republicans before they held a vote. Kevin McCarthy demanded equal representation on the committee with full subpoena power. He got that. But since he never wanted an investigation in the first place, his party still voted against the committee. Do you know what they called a committee with an even number of Democrats and Republicans with both having full subpoena power? They called it “partisan.”

The vote passed the House for that commission, but Republicans in the Senate killed it, thanks to the filibuster bullshit Joe Manchin won’t get rid of. Since Democrats control the House, Nancy Pelosi decided to take matters into her own hands and create a House Commission…and she still invited Republicans. In fact, she even gave one of the Democratic seats to a Republican.

But this time, since Republicans rejected the committee that gave them everything they demanded, Pelosi decided this one would have eight Democratic appointments and five from Republicans. So while Kevin is screaming the committee is partisan, it’s really not. But, in order to avoid Republican bullshit as much as she can, she gave herself the power to veto any of Kevin McCarthy’s picks. That was a smart move on her part.

At first, Kevin said he wouldn’t appoint anyone to the committee and warned that if any Republicans joined, then he would strip them of all committee assignments. Then, he changed his mind and set out to select five goons, er, Republicans to sit on the fact-finding committee. Kevin appointed Rodney Davis, Kelly Armstrong, and Troy Nehls, with only Nehls of the three not voting to certify the election.

But, he also appointed Jim Banks and Donald Trump’s favorite poo-flinging monkey, Jim Jordan. McCarthy’s intention was to seat members who would deflect and distract during testimonies. Basically, fling poo.

Surprise! Nancy Pelosi rejected Banks and Jordan. McCarthy responded by pulling all five of his members from the committee and said, “Unless Speaker Pelosi reverses course and seats all five Republican nominees, Republicans will not be party to their sham process and will instead pursue our own investigation of the facts.”

First off, Kevin…what are you threatening with? What do you have?

Second, you don’t put fuckers like Banks and Jordan on a committee when you’re trying to find facts. Nancy was right to pull those two members.

Before his selection, Jim Banks said the committee to investigate what happened on January 6 at the U.S. Capitol shouldn’t have anything to do with investigating what happened on January 6 at the U.S. Capitol. Later, he said the committee should investigate what President Biden had to do with the attack and why he didn’t stop it. Joe Biden was NOT President when the attacked happened. That’s some serious gaslighting.

Jim Jordan, like Banks, voted against certifying the election. During a speech on January 6, Jim Jordan said he would never be convinced Joe Biden won the election because Trump had a lot of people at his rallies and Biden rarely left his house to campaign. So sure, let’s put the guy on the committee who would rather go with his gut than election results.

Jim Jordan also coordinated with Donald Trump in trying to stop certifying the election and with spreading the Big Lie that he won. Trump gave Jim Jordan a fucking medal for his gaslighting and lying about the election.

You cannot put people on a fact-finding committee who believe they are entitled to their own facts. You also shouldn’t put people on a committee who may be witnesses. Hell, you shouldn’t let a witness select members of the committee.

Jim Jordan should be subpoenaed to testify. He says he talks to Donald Trump weekly. Kevin McCarthy was on the phone with Trump during the insurrection, so he’s a witness too.

The one Republican on the committee, Liz Cheney, slapped Jim Jordan’s hand on January 6 during the insurrection and told him, “You fucking did this.”

Republicans cry that this commission is only out to get Donald Trump. That’s like whining the O.J. trial was only out to get O.J.

McCarthy whined, “This represents an egregious abuse of power and will irreparably damage this institution,” he said in his statement. “Denying the voices of members who have served in the military and law enforcement, as well as leaders of standing committees, has made it undeniable that this panel has lost all legitimacy and credibility and shows the Speaker is more interested in playing politics than seeking the truth.” But you don’t seek the truth with people like Jim Banks and Jim Jordan.

The attack on the Capitol was conducted by Trump supporters. This is a fact. They were white nationalists. That is another fact. They made a bee line from a Trump rally to the Capitol after Trump told them to. We have it on tape. They were not welcomed into the Capitol by the police with hugs and kisses as Donald Trump claims. They broke through police lines, beat cops with flag poles, pipes, batons and other weapons, while spraying them with bear spray. They climbed in through broken windows, stomped on police, shit and pissed in the hallways, and even bit one cop’s fingers off. Over 300 Proud Boys were involved, wearing bullet proof vests, military helmets, and coordinating through walkie-talkies. Some were carrying nooses while screaming to hang Mike Pence. Some had Confederate and Neo-Nazi flags. And of course, there were Trump and MAGA flags. And Republicans don’t want to get to the bottom of any of this.

McCarthy says the committee needs to find out why Pelosi failed in protecting the Capitol, yet during the insurrection, he was on a phone pleading with Donald Trump to send the National Guard…which Trump ignored for hours. He doesn’t want to investigate that?

The hearings start on July 27 and the first four witnesses are Capitol Police officers who were injured during the attack. Republicans don’t want to hear their testimony. Other witnesses should be Jim Jordan, Kevin McCarthy, Ivanka Trump and chief-of-staff Mark Meadows, who kept sending Ivanka to plead with her father to call the rioters off.

Others who witnessed Trump in the White House that day include Keith Kellogg, Eric Herschmann, Dan Scavino, Kayleigh McEnany, Rudy Giuliani, Donald Trump Jr, Eric Trump, and Kimberly Guilfoyle. They should all receive subpoenas to testify. So should Mike Pence, who Trump orderd to come to the White House so he could order him to overturn the election. John Eastman and Mo Brooks, who both spoke at the rally on January 6, should also be made to testify.

During the attack, McCarthy was on the phone with Trump. Trump told him the attackers were Antifa. After McCarthy assured him they were indeed Trump supporters, Trump said, “Well, Kevin, I guess these people are more upset about the election than you are.”

McCarthy knows the truth but he doesn’t want it revealed. He’s like a victim of spousal abuse telling the cops nothing happened and he just clumsily walked into the wall again. Oddly enough, his refusal to participate may be the best thing he can do for our country.

Now, without McCarthy’s poo-flinging monkeys on board, this committee can get to the bottom of the attack on the Capitol by Trump’s MAGA terrorists.

Thank you, Nancy Pelosi, for rejecting the poo-flinging monkeys.

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Shut Your Pie Hole


Cjones04242021

Congressman Jim Jordan does not get along with black women.

To be fair to Jordan, he is an asshole. Assholes have trouble getting along with a lot of people. Still being fair, there are people who do like Jim Jordan…of course, those same people also like guys like Ted Cruz, Donald Trump, Matt Gaetz, and white nationalist terrorists who stomp on police officers. And that’s what got Jordan into the sticky situation he found himself in on Tuesday.

On the same day the jury delivered guilty, guilty, guilty verdicts in the Derek Chauvin trial, Jim Jordan made a huge racist asshole out of himself. To be fair, he’s a racist asshole every day so it wasn’t that unique to happen the same day as a verdict. My verdict is, Jim Jordan is a racist asshole.

House Democrats have drafted a Hate Crimes Act calling for an expedited Justice Department review of pandemic-era hate crimes against Asian Americans, the establishment of an online reporting mechanism for state and local law enforcement agencies, and data collection and public reporting on hate crime. The one thing this bill does NOT do is defund the police.

Republicans proposed an amendment to the bill that would prevent defunding or abolishing police. It’s not relevant. During a committee hearing on the bill, Chairman Jerry Nadler and Democrat Val Demings both called the amendment “irrelevant.” Jim Jordan started screaming it was as “relevant as it gets” because last week, a member of “the Squad” said police should be abolished. One person who has NOT called for defunding the police is President Joe Biden who has come out strongly against it. So, defunding the police is NOT happening. The amendment is not relevant. It’s useless and just for show.

Demings said, “I served as a law enforcement officer for 27 years. It is a tough job, and good police officers deserve your support. It’s interesting to see my colleagues on the other side of the aisle support the police when it is politically convenient to do so.”

Deming told Jordan, “You and your colleagues should be ashamed of yourselves.” I’m pretty sure she already knows Jim Jordan, being a Trump sycophant, has no shame.

She also told the Republicans, “This is emotionally charging for me because I was a law enforcement officer. I have watched them live and die and you know nothing about that. To utilize them as political pawns pisses me off.”

As Jordan tried to interrupt, because he does that a lot with black women, Demings asked, “Did I strike a nerve?”

There should be a nerve there because Republicans only use police when it’s politically convenient. When it comes to choosing between Trump’s white nationalist MAGAt terrorists or cops, Republicans like Jim Jordan choose the terrorists. We literally have supporters of terrorism in Congress.

It’s kinda like being supportive of our troops until it’s not politically convenient. Republicans were outraged when Colin Kaepernick kneeled during the national anthem and claimed it was disrespectful to our troops, but are still silent over reports Vladimir Putin placed bounties on our troops…and silent over Trump trying to cover it up.

Last week, Jim Jordan went over his allotted time during another House hearing and continued to berate Dr. Anthony Fauci for being a scientist. Jordan was screaming so hard, he couldn’t keep his face mask on. Then, Democrat Maxine Waters told Jordan to “shut your mouth.” Jim Jordan is on a roll when it comes to pissing off black women. They should make him a pie.

Jim Jordan is only useful to Republicans as a poo-flinging monkey. During committee hearings, he berates witnesses in the name of Trump, latches onto conspiracy theories, and repeats GOP talking points. Other Republicans often give him their allotted time so he can keep harassing witnesses. Jordan rarely asks any actual questions and spends most of his, and others’, time screaming for his white-privilege outrage.

Outside of screaming headlines for Fox News, OANN, Newsmax, and the Daily Stormer, Jordan is useless. The Center for Elective Law Making, a joint project between Vanderbilt University and the University of Virginia, ranked Jordan as the 202 most effective Republican in the House at passing legislation. There are 205 Republicans in the House. That would be like me being told as a cartoonist, I’m only better than Gary McCoy and that Branco fucker. That would hurt.

As my Uncle Rock would probably say if he was still alive, Jim Jordan is about as useful as a screen door on a submarine.

If you want someone to browbeat scientists, public servants, patriots, and black women, then Jim Jordan is your dude. If you need someone to look the other way while you sexually assault college wrestlers in the showers, Jim Jordan is your man. If you need someone who will actually do the job one typically expects of a congressman, like drafting, sponsoring, and passing legislation to make this country better, Jim Jordan is NOT the guy for that job. A poo-flinging monkey would probably rank higher than 202. A poo-flinging monkey would probably have the class and dignity to at least wear a jacket during committee hearings.

Jim Jordan is such a Trump sycophant, he’s picked up the Trump trait of feuding with black women…and being afraid of them. The question for Jim Jordan is: Are you merely a sexist asshole or are you a racist sexist asshole?

Even a poo-flinging monkey can see that Jim Jordan is a racist sexist asshole. Jim, put on a jacket and shut your pie hole.

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Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have FIVE copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

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Defender of perverts


cjones01212021

Ted Cruz, Matt Gaetz, Jim Jordan, what is it with MAGAt Republicans and punchable faces?

I made a post on social media this week that I turned into this cartoon. After receiving over 300 reactions, I thought, “Why not?”.

Congressman Jim Jordan, who is one of Trump’s biggest henchmen in Congress, who claims he never knew about wrestlers he coached being sexually abused, who voted against impeaching Trump both times, and may be his defense attorney when the Senate trial begins, received the Presidential Medal of Freedom last week.

After watching the medal go to people like Jordan and Rush Limbaugh, I truly hope Joe Biden can restore the integrity to it. Just like Trump’s court nominees, every one of his recipients will have an asterisk next to it.

As for Gym Jordan, he’s real good at ignoring the bad guys, whether it’s Donald Trump molesting the nation or MAGA terrorists sent by Trump to molest the capitol building. Jordan should be counsel for Trump, because he’s a friend to perverts.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have an order of 20 copies of my book (11 are left to purchase) on the way, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. The books won’t arrive until after the new year, but orders are being taken and they’ll be shipped as soon as I receive them. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

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Poo-Flinging Republicans


cjones11172019

Jim Jordan has a law degree but he never took the bar examination. It’s a good thing, too, because, there are some legal details he doesn’t understand, like corroborating witnesses.

Jordan pointed out that neither William B. Taylor Jr., the top U.S. diplomat in Ukraine, nor George Kent, a deputy assistant secretary of State specializing in Ukrainian matters, had never spoken to Donald Trump. Jordan’s argument was that it makes their testimony moot. Republicans love to compare the impeachment proceedings to a court of law, but corroborating witnesses are used in court all the time.

The other hole in this argument, that no witnesses are testifying who have spoken directly to Trump about the matter, is that it’s Trump who is preventing them from testifying. Republicans really don’t want their bluff called and see Acting Chief-of-Staff Mick Mulvaney or former National Security Adviser John Bolton testify.

Jordan also complained that the whistleblower isn’t testifying. Perhaps if Jordan had taken that bar exam, he’d know the whistleblower is another corroborating witness who isn’t needed on top of all the other corroborating witnesses. Also, maybe he’d realize it’s illegal to expose, intimidate, threaten, or harm a whistleblower. On top of all that, it’s a dick move on his part. But dick moves are all Jim Jordan has.

By the way, Linda Tripp heard it from a friend.

Jordan’s complaint is that Democrats are refusing to let the “guy that started it all” testify, as Republicans want him to do. Democrat Peter Welch replied, “I say to my colleague, I’d be glad to have the person who started it all come in and testify. President Trump is welcome to take a seat right there.” Ouch.

Jordan and Republicans also argued that Donald Trump has done more for Ukraine than Obama. I’m not sure how Obama doing little for Ukraine is a defense for Trump abusing his office, but remember…I didn’t take a bar exam. They pointed out that more money has been directed to Ukraine from Trump than Obama since Russia invaded that nation. They failed to mention that Obama worked to oust Russia from the G-7 as one response, and Trump is trying to invite Putin back. Also, Trump wants to go to Moscow and watch a parade of Russian military weaponry that will probably continue parading all the way down to Crimea. Yeah, they didn’t mention any of that.

Jim Jordan also argued there is no crime here since Trump failed at it. If you’re ever caught robbing a bank, just tell them you failed because you couldn’t find the safe. They’ll let you go. If they don’t, call Jim Jordan.

They argue that Trump released the money he was withholding from Ukraine after he vetted them. The truth is, he released the money that was approved by Congress to help Ukraine defend itself from Russia after the whistleblower made his complaint.

The Republicans were outmatched. All they had were conspiracy theories. They have a defendant who has admitted he pressed a foreign country to help his political campaign. They have Trump on tape asking another foreign nation to investigate his political opponent. They have Rudy Giuliani’s confession he’s asked Ukraine to investigate Trump’s political opponents. They have Mick Mulvaney’s confession there was a quid pro quo and that we should get over it. Now they’re going to have another witness testify he overheard Trump asking the ambassador to the EU, Gordon Sondland, about Ukraine investigating the Bidens.

Republicans made Jordan a temporary member of the House Intelligence Committee because they believe his hard-charging style of being an asshole would be their best defense of Donald Trump from impeachment. Jordan’s job is to scream, yell, ask questions in a shotgun fashion, expose the whistleblower, deflect, confuse the public, and spread Trump’s debunked conspiracy theories. It’s his job to throw poo.

Jim Jordan was an assistant wrestling coach at Ohio State for eight years. He’s been accused of being aware of and not acting on sexual misconduct by a team doctor. Somehow, according to the allegations, the doctor whacked off over 180 times in the shower in front of student-athletes over eight years without Jordan ever hearing about it. But hey, if Dr. Shower Whacker needs someone to ignore the crime and scream at his accusers, Jordan’s his guy.

Maybe Republicans should have brought in a poo-flinging monkey instead of Jordan. At least in the monkey’s defense, he didn’t take the bar exam.

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Whose Liar Is It Anyway?


cjones03052019

Democrats spent the majority of Michael Cohen’s testimony asking questions about Donald Trump. Republicans spent all of their time asking Michael Cohen questions about Michael Cohen.

Republicans, ranking member Jim Jordan in particular, pointed out that the first witness called for the first hearing in the Democrat-controlled 116th Congress is a man convicted of lying to Congress. Since Jordan is a Republican, his opening remarks and point was…wait for it…A LIE! This is actually the third hearing in the 116th Congress and since those hearings had witnesses, Cohen is not the first.

Each Republican on the House Oversight Committee used their time to attack Cohen as a liar and convicted perjurer. Nobody defended that, including Cohen because he’s a liar and convicted perjurer. Michael Cohen is going to prison for his lies. The Republicans even went as far as propping up a poster of Cohen’s face with the text, “Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire.” Seriously. Unfortunately for the Republican members on the committee, they forgot three things.

The Republicans forgot to defend Donald Trump. They forgot the man they’re protecting is a known pathological liar. Mostly, they forgot what Cohen was lying about and for when he committed perjury before Congress in his first hearing. Men who are destroying their credibility for Donald Trump were attacking the credibility of a man who destroyed his for Donald Trump.

Former New Jersey governor Chris Christie said on ABC that he can “guarantee” Trump is “sitting in Vietnam right now, fuming that no one’s defending him.” He also argued the performance was “either a failure of those Republicans on the Hill or a failure of the White House to have a unified strategy with them.” One senior House Republican who requested anonymity told The Washington Post, “The reason there was no defense is because there is no defense.”

Cohen is Trump’s former fixer, and it seemed like each Republican on the committee was angling to be his replacement.

One attempt to defend Trump was when Mark Meadows brought one of Trump’s few black friends to stand behind him as a prop as he challenged Cohen’s allegation that Trump is a racist. He literally played the black friend defense. Then, Meadows got upset when it was pointed out he used a black person as a prop, which in itself is racist. His defense of not being a racist was…wait for it…he has black friends.

Freshman Ayanna Pressley asked Cohen a question that was probably more for Meadows. The Democrat asked, “Would you agree that someone could deny rental units to African Americans, lead the birther movement, refer to the diaspora as ‘shithole countries,’ refer to white supremacists as ‘fine people,’ have a black friend, and still be racist?” That answer was “yes.”

Cohen alleged that Trump knew about the hacking of the Democratic National Committee before WikiLeaks had released the documents. He also claimed Trump reimbursed him for hush payments to women while he was president, and said Trump called him at one point to ensure he kept lying about those payments. He also produced the checks showing Trump had reimbursed him, which were made out, signed, and dated after Trump became President Trump. He even implicated Don Jr. and Ivanka in the Moscow Trump Tower project.

Cohen described Trump as a conman, a liar, and a racist. Stuff we already knew. He claimed Trump had him threaten people over 500 times, which is almost as many times as the committee Republicans said “liar, liar, pants on fire.”

Cohen, the liar, even defended Trump from a few rumors, such as having a love child, striking his wife, ordering Roger Stone to engage with Wikileaks, and the Russians possessing a tape that could be used as blackmail against Trump (you know, the pee tape). But then again, Cohen is a known liar and Republicans say we shouldn’t believe him.

Republicans still don’t get it. If there is a danger, you need to address it. Not hide and protect it. If the president of the United States has broken the law, cheated to win the election, obstructed justice, or sold his nation out to an adversarial nation for his financial interest, it’s in every American’s best interest to know the answers.

When the Republicans controlled the committees, they refused to ask questions or even call some witnesses in their campaign to defend Trump. Then-Intelligence Committee Chairman Devin Nunes used his position and hearings to gather intel to update the White House. They worked to protect those who may have betrayed the nation. They attacked law enforcement while defending a suspected Russian spy. This week, Republican Matt Gaetz tweeted a threat to Cohen the night before his testimony, which is a crime and a very Michael Cohen kind of thing to do, back when he was Trump’s fixer. Jim Jordan complained that there was even a hearing today, and these are the guys who created five different House committee investigations into Benghazi.

Republicans claim Michael Cohen is lying in his attacks against Trump. What Republicans are truly upset about is that Cohen has stopped lying for Trump.

It’s one thing for your crazy Republican uncle to refuse to defend America. It’s another for those elected and whose job it is to defend our country. Republicans have proven time and time again they’re more interested in being Trump sycophants, stooges, and cultists than defenders of our nation.

Republicans need to stop being Republicans for a minute and start being Americans.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
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Sticky Fingers


cjones07162018

Yesterday, the Justice Department announced that Special Counsel Robert Mueller has indicted 12 Russians for meddling in the 2016 presidential election in an effort to support the candidacy of Donald Trump. The indictments bring the Russia investigation closer to Trump, and unfortunately for him, the only ones standing in the way to obstruct the investigation are the conspiracy-driven lunatics at Fox News and the Republican imbeciles in Congress.

The House Judiciary Committee dragged FBI agent Peter Strzok before them for a theatrical hearing to make the case that the FBI is part of the “deep state” gunning to take down Trump. Their argument is based on text messages he sent to his lover that were critical of Trump, while he was a part of two separate investigations of both presidential candidates.

Strzok argued that having a political opinion does not make someone biased. Biased is when you allow your opinion to get in the way of your work, which Strzok did not do. The evidence to that is, the FBI never leaked that they were investigating a possible Trump/Russia connection during the campaign, yet agents leaked information and there were multiple press conferences about the Clinton investigation.

There is a difference between being biased and informed. It is difficult to find a highly skilled, experienced, and intelligent professional who doesn’t have a negative opinion about Donald Trump. Don’t most investigators have a negative opinion of their subjects as they gain more information?

Democratic Congressman Ted Lieu said at one point during the showcase, “This is a stupid and ridiculous hearing.” Now, after yesterday’s indictments, we know why at least one Republican is desperate to stop Mueller’s investigation.

The indictments informed us that one Congressional candidate asked Gucifer 2.0, the Russian hackers, for stolen documents from Democrats, and received it. The report didn’t state if this candidate is presently in Congress or even what party they are a member of, but it’s kinda far-fetched to believe it’s not a Republican. If Mueller knows about this exchange, then he also knows who the suspect is.

Now, we get to play the game of guessing which Kool-Aid drinking, cultish, treasonous, Putin’s puppet of a Republican goon is going to prison. My candidates are Devin Nunes, Jim Jordan (who has other issues to answer for), Trey Gowdy, Steve King, Darrell Issa, Matt Gaetz, Louie Gohmert, and Bob Goodlatte. There are other contenders but this is my candy store. It’s really hard to pick just one sycophant.

If they all can’t go to prison, perhaps the voters can keep each of them from returning to Congress.

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