Ivanka

Briefed By Ivanka


cjones05012017

Saudi Arabia is one of the worst places in the world to be a woman. Women can’t drive, vote, ask for a divorce, or even be seen in public without being in the company of a man. It’s like every woman in the nation is married to Mike Pence.

The United Nations has placed Saudi Arabia on the Women’s Rights Commission which made a lot of people say “you put who where now?”. The Arab kingdom mandates discrimination against women. How does it make any sense to put them on a commission for women’s rights? That would be like putting Iran on that commission except they’ve already done that.

Maybe there is a method to the madness. Perhaps putting these horrible regimes on a commission with nations that do not require women to conceal their faces can be an influence. Perhaps they’ll see how the modern world treats people and just how ass backwards they are.

Did German Chancellor Angela Merkel apply the same method in inviting Donald Trump’s daughter, Ivanka, to a women’s empowerment panel in Berlin? The other women on the panel were International Monetary Fund director Christine Lagarde, and Canadian Foreign Minister Chrystia Freeland. Merkel, Lagarde, and Freeland were on the panel because of their accomplishments and the fact that they’re world leaders. None of the three achieved their accomplishments through nepotism. Those leaders have earned their place. Ivanka was born into hers.

The moderator asked Ivanka who she was representing, President Trump, the American people, or her own business interests. What she should have been asked was: What qualifies you for a job in the White House? What is it that you actually do in dad’s administration? What the Hell are you doing on this panel?

Ivanka dismisses the media’s coverage of her father’s bigotry and callousness toward women. She blames the media. She doesn’t blame the man who bragged on a bus about grabbing vaginas and moving on a woman “like a bitch.” She doesn’t blame the man who told a contestant on his reality show that it would be a pretty sight to see her on her knees. She doesn’t blame the man who has called Rosie O’Donnell a pig and said that Megyn Kelly had “blood in her eyes” and “blood coming out of her wherever.” She doesn’t blame the guy who looked at a child and said “I’ll be dating her in ten years.” She doesn’t blame the guy who once said that if Ivanka wasn’t his daughter, he’d be dating her.

Instead she talks about how daddy is great toward women because he promoted her in his business. If only every woman in America was Donald Trump’s daughter. The only bad part of that would be that he’d want to date them and he’d go on a talk show while they’re infants and speculate on how large their breasts will become.

Ivanka says her dad is in favor of a paid-family-leave plan. So when’s he going to push that through Congress? Where was her influence when he was trying to cut funding to Planned Parenthood?

Where was Ivanka’s influence when Trump hosted the House Freedom Caucus to discuss healthcare, including those that affect women’s health benefits, and there were no women present? Sure, Ivanka shows up if she can sit next to Merkel or Justin Trudeau.

Where was Ivanka’s influence when Trump chose his nearly-all-male and white cabinet? Was it the dressing in drag skit that kept Giuliani out of the administration?

Perhaps Ivanka was too focused on her brand, where the bulk of it is made in Africa and Asia, mostly by women who are paid chump change. According to The Washington Postworkers in a factory in China, which holds an exclusive license to produce Ivanka Trump crap, works their workers 60 hours a week for a salary of $62.

So no. Ivanka does not belong on a panel discussing empowering women anymore than Saudi Arabia belongs on a commission for women’s rights. She’s empowered herself. She’s a billion-dollar princess who, like her brothers, got where she is through birth. Now they’re bringing their nepotism and conflicts of interest to our government as if we are a monarchy.

Saudi Arabia on a women’s right’s panel, and Ivanka in a women empowerment discussion with women who are actually accomplished is confusing. It’s as confusing as the fact that more women voted for Donald Trump than Hillary Clinton.

C’mon, ladies. Help yourselves out here.

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Cooties And Nepotism


cjones04052017

It’s not just monarchs who appoint family members to government positions. Rogue nations and fascist governments do it too. Take a look at North Korea. Except there your cousin’s job performance evaluation might get you a firing squad.

Now I doubt any Trump family members will face firing squads. Maybe an ex-wife. But this business of doling out posts to his kids is insanity. It’s ridiculous for a world leader to visit the White House and be forced to sit between Donald and his little princess.

I know it’s probably fun to go all Violet Beauregarde and get whatever you want. Daddy, I want a pony. Daddy, I want a chocolate factory. Daddy, I want an Oompa Loompa. Well, Ivanka, you already have an Oompa Loompa so you don’t need an office next to the oval one.

Ivanka and her husband and White House senior adviser, Jared (who owns one of my client newspapers), are worth at least $740 million. Neither has separated themselves from their businesses, like Donald. They’re not escaping conflicts of interest. I’m not comfortable with just trusting them.

I would like for the people in the White House to be there because they’re qualified, not because they’re related or married into it. But then again, I can’t think of anyone currently working in the White House who is qualified to be there.

Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. Your support contributes to my work and continued existence. The starving cartoonist appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Want a signed copy of this cartoon? Donate at least $50 and I’ll ship it to you. Make sure to mention in the note with your donation which cartoon you want along with the mailing address you need it shipped to. If it’s a gift, make sure to mention the recipient’s name so I can make it out to them.

Ethics Schmethics


cjones02122017

The Trump administration has taken Kellyanne Conway to task. She’s been scolded, counseled, and has been made to understand her faux pas and will no longer wear white after Labor day.

Looking at the Nutcracker outfit Ms. Conway wore on inauguration day it seems the person who may have the most issue with Kellyanne pimping Ivanka’s fashion line would be Ivanka. Thank you, but no thank you.

Donald Trump promised he would be blind to his business interest. Don’t worry about his hotel on federal property where foreign diplomats will stay and put money in Trump’s pocket. Don’t worry about his sons running his businesses while lodging in the White House. But you’d think Trump’s blindness would carry over toward his daughter, Ivanka’s business. Apparently his eye is on a lot more than her figure.

Ivanka has a line of products with her name. A name famous only for being her father’s name. Ivanka’s fame is not for any accomplishments other than being born a Trump. It’s nice work if you can get it, other than the creepy factor.

Today’s other big news story leads me to believe that if Trump was to model for Ivanka, his favorite color would be red.

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Killers In Fashion


cjones02092017

Donald Trump didn’t tweet about the terrorist Trump supporter who killed several Muslims in Quebec City. But Nordstrom drops his daughter’s line of crap and that motivates him to tweet.

Last weekend during an interview on Fox News Bill O’Reilly made the comment that Vladimir Putin is a killer. Trump replied “You got a lot of killers. “What, you think our country’s so innocent?”

Ugh.

No. America isn’t so innocent. America has a legacy of slavery, interning Japanese-American citizens in World War II, voter suppression, and engineering coups in other nations. But we don’t have presidents killing critics, journalists, or imprisoning girl bands. At least not yet.

Our president isn’t just equating our nation with Russia and their president who was an agent for the KGB, he’s elevating him. Remember when Republicans perpetuated the myth of Obama’s apology tour for America? The majority of those Republicans are silent as Trump slimes our nation.

It’s amazing the depths Trump will go in defending Vladimir Putin. Today the administration failed to answer questions about Russia’s largest delivery to date of missiles to Syria. But judges and Nordstrom needed to be taken down a peg or two.

Trump first attacked an appeals court for listening to arguments on his travel ban. After that outrage he took to his personal, and official presidential twitter accounts, to attack Nordstrom for dropping Ivanka’s line of clothing and jewelry, and whatever the hell else she puts her names on.

The Trump administration is also making it easier for animal breeders to abuse dogs, cats, horses, etc., by removing the USDA’s database on animal welfare records. Did Eric Trump just buy a Schnauzer farm?

Trump promised us that he wasn’t going to worry about his businesses while he was president. It would all be in a “blind” trust run by his sons. He wouldn’t even know what’s going on in that area. He’d just focus on his presidential duties…and no. The conflicts continue. Ignore his business? He can’t ignore his daughter’s. The lies continue.

Nordstrom most likely dropped Ivanka’s stuff because it doesn’t sell. Trump claims they’re attacking her personally and destroying her name because they don’t like his policies. That does sound a lot better than “nobody wants your crap.”

You know that crap Ivanka sells? It’s products that are NOT made in the United States for a corporation that doesn’t have a maternity leave policy. Maybe those are policies consumers have issues with.

Maybe someone should tell Donald Trump that capitalism isn’t always fair.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, etc.. The starving cartoonist appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!