Ivanka

Princess Complicit


cjones03012018

Designing second-rate handbags made in third-world countries by eight-year-old children does not make you qualified to discuss diplomatic strategy with the president of South Korea. Inheriting wealth and building a career of creating havens for money launderers does not make you qualified to negotiate peace in the Middle East. Being a trust-fund baby does not qualify you to have access to classified information.

Being related to Donald Trump does not make you qualified for government service or a job in the White House. Being Donald Trump doesn’t make you qualified to be in the White House. If anything, being Donald Trump, or anyone related to him, makes you uniquely unqualified to be anywhere near the White House. You shouldn’t even be allowed on the White House tour.

Despite all that, Ivanka Trump and her squeaky-voiced husband are senior advisers to the president of the United States. During an interview while in South Korea leading the American delegation during the closing ceremonies of the Olympics, Ivanka stated that she and Jared did not want any special treatment in their roles working for the president. I didn’t realize everyone in the Trump White House was able to leave work multiple times a year for vacations in Aspen and the Bahamas.

The FBI has been unable to clear Ivanka or Jared for a permanent security clearance. Chief of Staff John Kelly declared last Friday the deadline for obtaining a permanent clearance to continue to have access to classified information. Last Friday was last Friday. It’s behind us. Jared and Ivanka, who don’t want special treatment, are still in the White House with access to classified information.

Not only that, Ivanka, along with Jared, is in the White House using a private email account for government business. Maybe someone should start a lock-her-up chant.

Ivanka wanted to go to Washington and play government by representing women issues. Yet, each time she’s confronted with the fact that Daddy Bone-Spurs has grabbed more women than cheeseburgers, Princess Complicit has been silent, until now.

During an interview with NBC, which will probably be the last time she ever does an interview with a news outlet other than Fox News, she was asked, “do you believe your father’s accusers?”

Complicit Barbie expressed feigned indignation and said, “I think it’s a pretty inappropriate question to ask a daughter if she believes the accusers of her father when he’s affirmatively stated there’s no truth to it.”

That’s when the interviewer should have rephrased the question and asked, “do you believe your boss’ accusers?”

If someone had asked Tiffany Trump that question then the answer would have been totally acceptable. Tiffany is merely her father’s daughter. Ivanka, on the other hand, is not. Ivanka is a senior White House adviser who has stated she doesn’t want special treatment. So, since she’s to be treated like everyone else working for the president, she should be able to answer a simple question.

She should answer why she finds Roy Moore’s accusers believable, but not the more than a dozen who claim her father sexually assaulted them. She should be asked about her father’s lawyer gifting a porn star $130,000. She should be forced to answer about her father and Playboy Playmates. She should state whether she believes her father’s own words about grabbing vaginas and walking in on teenage girls while they’re undressed.

Nepotism laws were made to prevent people like Ivanka and Jared from working in the government. Donald Trump hasn’t had any problem filling government positions with a variety of incompetent, greedy, useless, and horrible people without dipping into his gene pool, or those who married into it. Ivanka and Jared should return to New York and go back into the handbag and money laundering businesses.

There’s a rule in politics that you leave the children alone. There isn’t a rule that White House advisers are untouchable. Ivanka needs to decide if she wants to be her father’s daughter or a servant of the United States government.

It’s a hard choice because she’s doing a crappy job at both.

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I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude

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Ivanka’s Resistance


cjones01122018

Ivanka Trump has such grace, such beauty, such poise. Why she could be a model…for nepotism.

The only reason Ivanka is working as an unpaid adviser to the president is because her daddy is the president. And, as an unpaid adviser, she is worth every penny.

Her presence in the White House was reasoned by her being a rational and sobering influence upon her father, which is an admittance that he’s freaking insane. She has openly discussed how she would be an advocate for women’s issues, especially pay equity. HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Ivanka’s promise of being an advocate for women has gone the way of Melania’s anti-online bullying campaign. It would be like Michelle Obama promoting eating vegetables while sitting in bed eating cheeseburgers every night.

Ivanka and Melania were both silent over accusations from 19 women of Trump’s sexual harassment, and his boasting of “grabbing pussy,” except when they have defended Trump for it. Ivanka was silent when Trump went after Mika Brzezinski’s looks and criticizing her for cosmetic surgery, which I’m sure, is totally foreign to the Trump family. She was silent when Trump tweeted that New York Senator Kirsten Gillibrand would do anything for money. She has been silent every time Trump has racially thumped Massachusetts Senator Elizabeth Warren by calling her “Pocahontas.” She was silent when Trump went after Carmen Yulin Cruz, the female mayor of San Juan, or the Congresswoman Frederica Wilson and a war widow. She’s also made no remarks on reports that Trump requires women in the White House to “dress like women,” whatever that means.

She has not promoted equal pay or taken her father to task for taking healthcare away from women and threatening reproductive rights. He likes to grab ’em and legislate ’em.

Maybe, the very worst of this is her silence after Daddy Dumbass endorsed Roy Moore. Ivanka tweeted that there’s a special place in Hell for people who prey on children, but her strong position evaporated after the cheeseburger-loving Cheeto endorsed the pedophile.

After Oprah Winfrey drew praise for her speech at the Golden Globes, standing up for women and denouncing sexual harassment and assaults, Ivanka decided to jump on the bandwagon.

Straight from the department of Are You Freaking Kidding Me, Ivanka tweeted, “Just saw @Oprah‘s empowering & inspiring speech at last night’s #GoldenGlobes. Let’s all come together, women & men, & say #TIMESUP.”

Time’s up? You’re late to the party. You don’t have a freaking clue what time it is. “Let’s all come together?” Come together and do what? Sit silently when Daddy attacks another woman?

Ivanka standing up for empowering women has as much credibility as Sebastian Gorka in a pussy hat. She has more “togetherness” with the propaganda ministers, Sarah Huckabee Sanders and Stephen Baby Goebbels Miller. The only hashtag President Daddy’s little million dollar princess should be sending out is #complicit.

Ivanka needs to leave the White House and end the ruse she’s perpetuating that she’s actually serving a purpose. With that, we can say “time’s up.”

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude

Briefed By Ivanka


cjones05012017

Saudi Arabia is one of the worst places in the world to be a woman. Women can’t drive, vote, ask for a divorce, or even be seen in public without being in the company of a man. It’s like every woman in the nation is married to Mike Pence.

The United Nations has placed Saudi Arabia on the Women’s Rights Commission which made a lot of people say “you put who where now?”. The Arab kingdom mandates discrimination against women. How does it make any sense to put them on a commission for women’s rights? That would be like putting Iran on that commission except they’ve already done that.

Maybe there is a method to the madness. Perhaps putting these horrible regimes on a commission with nations that do not require women to conceal their faces can be an influence. Perhaps they’ll see how the modern world treats people and just how ass backwards they are.

Did German Chancellor Angela Merkel apply the same method in inviting Donald Trump’s daughter, Ivanka, to a women’s empowerment panel in Berlin? The other women on the panel were International Monetary Fund director Christine Lagarde, and Canadian Foreign Minister Chrystia Freeland. Merkel, Lagarde, and Freeland were on the panel because of their accomplishments and the fact that they’re world leaders. None of the three achieved their accomplishments through nepotism. Those leaders have earned their place. Ivanka was born into hers.

The moderator asked Ivanka who she was representing, President Trump, the American people, or her own business interests. What she should have been asked was: What qualifies you for a job in the White House? What is it that you actually do in dad’s administration? What the Hell are you doing on this panel?

Ivanka dismisses the media’s coverage of her father’s bigotry and callousness toward women. She blames the media. She doesn’t blame the man who bragged on a bus about grabbing vaginas and moving on a woman “like a bitch.” She doesn’t blame the man who told a contestant on his reality show that it would be a pretty sight to see her on her knees. She doesn’t blame the man who has called Rosie O’Donnell a pig and said that Megyn Kelly had “blood in her eyes” and “blood coming out of her wherever.” She doesn’t blame the guy who looked at a child and said “I’ll be dating her in ten years.” She doesn’t blame the guy who once said that if Ivanka wasn’t his daughter, he’d be dating her.

Instead she talks about how daddy is great toward women because he promoted her in his business. If only every woman in America was Donald Trump’s daughter. The only bad part of that would be that he’d want to date them and he’d go on a talk show while they’re infants and speculate on how large their breasts will become.

Ivanka says her dad is in favor of a paid-family-leave plan. So when’s he going to push that through Congress? Where was her influence when he was trying to cut funding to Planned Parenthood?

Where was Ivanka’s influence when Trump hosted the House Freedom Caucus to discuss healthcare, including those that affect women’s health benefits, and there were no women present? Sure, Ivanka shows up if she can sit next to Merkel or Justin Trudeau.

Where was Ivanka’s influence when Trump chose his nearly-all-male and white cabinet? Was it the dressing in drag skit that kept Giuliani out of the administration?

Perhaps Ivanka was too focused on her brand, where the bulk of it is made in Africa and Asia, mostly by women who are paid chump change. According to The Washington Postworkers in a factory in China, which holds an exclusive license to produce Ivanka Trump crap, works their workers 60 hours a week for a salary of $62.

So no. Ivanka does not belong on a panel discussing empowering women anymore than Saudi Arabia belongs on a commission for women’s rights. She’s empowered herself. She’s a billion-dollar princess who, like her brothers, got where she is through birth. Now they’re bringing their nepotism and conflicts of interest to our government as if we are a monarchy.

Saudi Arabia on a women’s right’s panel, and Ivanka in a women empowerment discussion with women who are actually accomplished is confusing. It’s as confusing as the fact that more women voted for Donald Trump than Hillary Clinton.

C’mon, ladies. Help yourselves out here.

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Cooties And Nepotism


cjones04052017

It’s not just monarchs who appoint family members to government positions. Rogue nations and fascist governments do it too. Take a look at North Korea. Except there your cousin’s job performance evaluation might get you a firing squad.

Now I doubt any Trump family members will face firing squads. Maybe an ex-wife. But this business of doling out posts to his kids is insanity. It’s ridiculous for a world leader to visit the White House and be forced to sit between Donald and his little princess.

I know it’s probably fun to go all Violet Beauregarde and get whatever you want. Daddy, I want a pony. Daddy, I want a chocolate factory. Daddy, I want an Oompa Loompa. Well, Ivanka, you already have an Oompa Loompa so you don’t need an office next to the oval one.

Ivanka and her husband and White House senior adviser, Jared (who owns one of my client newspapers), are worth at least $740 million. Neither has separated themselves from their businesses, like Donald. They’re not escaping conflicts of interest. I’m not comfortable with just trusting them.

I would like for the people in the White House to be there because they’re qualified, not because they’re related or married into it. But then again, I can’t think of anyone currently working in the White House who is qualified to be there.

Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. Your support contributes to my work and continued existence. The starving cartoonist appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Want a signed copy of this cartoon? Donate at least $50 and I’ll ship it to you. Make sure to mention in the note with your donation which cartoon you want along with the mailing address you need it shipped to. If it’s a gift, make sure to mention the recipient’s name so I can make it out to them.

Ethics Schmethics


cjones02122017

The Trump administration has taken Kellyanne Conway to task. She’s been scolded, counseled, and has been made to understand her faux pas and will no longer wear white after Labor day.

Looking at the Nutcracker outfit Ms. Conway wore on inauguration day it seems the person who may have the most issue with Kellyanne pimping Ivanka’s fashion line would be Ivanka. Thank you, but no thank you.

Donald Trump promised he would be blind to his business interest. Don’t worry about his hotel on federal property where foreign diplomats will stay and put money in Trump’s pocket. Don’t worry about his sons running his businesses while lodging in the White House. But you’d think Trump’s blindness would carry over toward his daughter, Ivanka’s business. Apparently his eye is on a lot more than her figure.

Ivanka has a line of products with her name. A name famous only for being her father’s name. Ivanka’s fame is not for any accomplishments other than being born a Trump. It’s nice work if you can get it, other than the creepy factor.

Today’s other big news story leads me to believe that if Trump was to model for Ivanka, his favorite color would be red.

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Killers In Fashion


cjones02092017

Donald Trump didn’t tweet about the terrorist Trump supporter who killed several Muslims in Quebec City. But Nordstrom drops his daughter’s line of crap and that motivates him to tweet.

Last weekend during an interview on Fox News Bill O’Reilly made the comment that Vladimir Putin is a killer. Trump replied “You got a lot of killers. “What, you think our country’s so innocent?”

Ugh.

No. America isn’t so innocent. America has a legacy of slavery, interning Japanese-American citizens in World War II, voter suppression, and engineering coups in other nations. But we don’t have presidents killing critics, journalists, or imprisoning girl bands. At least not yet.

Our president isn’t just equating our nation with Russia and their president who was an agent for the KGB, he’s elevating him. Remember when Republicans perpetuated the myth of Obama’s apology tour for America? The majority of those Republicans are silent as Trump slimes our nation.

It’s amazing the depths Trump will go in defending Vladimir Putin. Today the administration failed to answer questions about Russia’s largest delivery to date of missiles to Syria. But judges and Nordstrom needed to be taken down a peg or two.

Trump first attacked an appeals court for listening to arguments on his travel ban. After that outrage he took to his personal, and official presidential twitter accounts, to attack Nordstrom for dropping Ivanka’s line of clothing and jewelry, and whatever the hell else she puts her names on.

The Trump administration is also making it easier for animal breeders to abuse dogs, cats, horses, etc., by removing the USDA’s database on animal welfare records. Did Eric Trump just buy a Schnauzer farm?

Trump promised us that he wasn’t going to worry about his businesses while he was president. It would all be in a “blind” trust run by his sons. He wouldn’t even know what’s going on in that area. He’d just focus on his presidential duties…and no. The conflicts continue. Ignore his business? He can’t ignore his daughter’s. The lies continue.

Nordstrom most likely dropped Ivanka’s stuff because it doesn’t sell. Trump claims they’re attacking her personally and destroying her name because they don’t like his policies. That does sound a lot better than “nobody wants your crap.”

You know that crap Ivanka sells? It’s products that are NOT made in the United States for a corporation that doesn’t have a maternity leave policy. Maybe those are policies consumers have issues with.

Maybe someone should tell Donald Trump that capitalism isn’t always fair.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, etc.. The starving cartoonist appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!