Iran Nuclear Deal

Drippy With Bibi


cjones12012020

There is no law prohibiting the United States government from assassinating foreign leaders and officials. There is an executive order issued in the 1970s by President Gerald Ford that has been upheld by every American president except Donald Trump, though to be fair, Trump probably isn’t aware of it. But that order isn’t enough to stop our government from murdering people overseas. Have you see Osama bin Laden around lately?

In the 1980s, Reagan had our military bomb Libyan leader Muammar Gaddafi’s tent. A tent. If he wasn’t the target, what did we think was in that tent threatening the United States? As it turns out, Gaddafi’s 6-month-old daughter was in the tent…or she wasn’t…or she wasn’t even his daughter. Information from the 1980s Libyan government is sketchier than a Rudy Giuliani Dildo-store-parking-lot press conference.

During our war with Iraq in 1990/1991, our second war with Iraq in 2003, and all the military strikes in between, our government never officially targeted Iraqi leader Saddam Hussein. But we did target his many houses, mansions, palaces, compounds…whatever you want to call them. The reasoning being given was that he may have been storing chemical weapons inside his homes, like you would keep weed killer in your garage. If one of those strikes had killed Saddam, then we could have said it was just a lucky coincidence. Even when we did catch him, we handed him over to a government we knew would kill him. There are western nations that refuse to hand over any prisoners to any nation if there is a possibility they will receive a death sentence.

Israel is not one of those nations either except they probably wouldn’t extradite anyone. They’d just kill them themselves. In fact, Israel had a practice of kidnapping people on foreign soil, dragging them back to Israel without the host nation being aware, conducting a trial of the suspect, then killing them. Do you know who else goes overseas and kidnaps people? North Korea and the United States. We took the leader of Panama and today, he’s rotting in a Florida prison. Hey, we didn’t kill him. North Korea just nabs people…or they murder them in airports on foreign soil.

To be fair, Israel wasn’t just grabbing ordinary civilians off the streets and throwing them into unmarked vans. They were grabbing Nazis hiding in South America. I am fine with going to Argentina and grabbing Nazis off the street and throwing them into unmarked vans then having them taken to Israel to stand trial. But to be honest, I don’t think anyone accused of being a Nazi is going to received a fair trial in Israel. If you were accused of being a Nazi, you wouldn’t any Jews on the jury except Stephen Miller.

That doesn’t make me anti-Israel…but people will say I am for this cartoon. Any time you criticize Israel, you’re often accused of being anti-Semitic. And our nation rarely criticizes Israel. The nation of Israel basically has a free pass with the U.S.

I’m criticizing Israel like I criticize the United States. What, am I anti-American now?

Foreign policy experts warn of our enemies engaging in bad behavior between the time of an American presidential election and a new administration taking over. Will Russia invade the rest of Ukraine? Will North Korea attack South Korea? Will Iranian-backed terrorists strike an embassy? Will South Korea unleash more anti-Trump TikTok videos? Will Canada increase imports of their cheese? Will the Prime Minister of Denmark laugh at pictures of Trump at his tiny desk? But…what happens when our allies take advantage of us during a presidential transition?

Last week, Mohsen Fakhrizadeh, who once led Iran’s military nuclear program when they had one, was assassinated. Who did it? Nobody has taken credit. And, neither Israel or the United states has issued a denial. There hasn’t even been an official, “Don’t look at me. I was at home washing my hair.”

Israel has been accused of assassinating Iranian scientist in the past. What would they have to gain by doing it now? It creates another headache on day one of President Joe Biden’s administration. Already, Iranians are burning pictures of Donald Trump and Joe Biden in the streets of Tehran. Biden isn’t even president yet but they’re extending blame to him. And if they think Israel did it, then why are they mad at us? Because we coddle Israel and support their actions like this. Hell, we probably paid for the bullets and explosives used in the act.

Iran is blaming Israel, but they know the United States has already killed one of their generals this year. So if they retaliate against us and it’s proven later we didn’t have anything to do with the killing of the scientist, Iran won’t lose any sleep over it. We’re still the Great Satan. If nothing else, we boasted about killing that general so I’m sure Donald Trump couldn’t have been silent over murdering an Iranian nuclear scientist.

Trump would have tweeted, “Best scientist murder ever. People are saying it’s nothing that’s ever been seen before. Obama never killed such important scientist. Sleepy Joe would have only sniffed the scientist’s hair.”

The other thing Israel gets out of this is that it hurts our negotiating position when we resume peace talks preventing Iran from having nuclear weapons. We had a deal and it was working. Donald Trump removed us without any reasoning other than catering to his right-wing base and Israel didn’t like the treaty. The treaty kept us out of war with Iran. Israel views a war between the United States and Iran in their best interest. The Israeli government will not mind us spilling our blood in their national interest.

And when it comes to dealing with the incoming administration, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has congratulated Joe Biden…we just don’t know what for.

Bibi tweeted, 12 hours after U.S. media called the election for Biden, “Congratulations @JoeBiden and @KamalaHarris. Joe, we’ve had a long & warm personal relationship for nearly 40 years, and I know you as a great friend of Israel. I look forward to working with both of you to further strengthen the special alliance between the U.S. and Israel.”

So, what did he congratulate them for? Netanyahu is playing it safe and parsing his words. He’s congratulating his old friend while not angering Donald Trump…which has to be one of the most ridiculous positions a foreign leader feels he has to take. It’s also cowardly. Wait until Bibi finds out his dogs are German Shepherds.

Shortly after the mysterious congratulatory tweet to Biden, Bibi tweeted a thank you to Donald Trump without mentioning the fact Trump is a loser who will be leaving the White House very soon.

Joe Biden has to come in and fix things Donald Trump has fucked up. He has to work on our immigration policies. He has to clean up a lot of bullshit funding for Trump’s racist border wall. He has to get us back into the Paris Climate Accords. He has to fix the treaty with Iran that made the world a safer place. He has to smack Putin around a little just so he knows his place. He has to remove us from Kim Jong Un’s butthole. He has to get our allies to stop laughing at us. He has to repair our relationship with NATO and show the world we favor our allies over dictators. And eventually, he has to declare Canadian cheese is not a threat to our national security. And now, he has to include crap Netanyahu is doing.

Israel may not be to blame…but they probably are. If they were a true ally, they would have waited until Joe Biden was in office. He wasn’t even receiving security briefings that president-elects usually receive. Those didn’t start until today. I predict Israel and Iran will be mentioned in every briefing Biden receives between now and the end of his presidency.

We give Israel over $3 billion a year. Unlike other nations where we give aid to in quarterly installments, we give our yearly donation to Israel all at once and at the beginning of the year. We give Israel more than we give to sub-Saharan Africa, Latin America, and the Caribbean combined. And when we give money to Israel, they turn around and put it into New York Federal Reserve so it can start earning interest immediately. We have to borrow to give Israel this money which means we spend over $100 million paying interest on it. And our aid to Egypt and Jordan is contingent upon their treaties with Israel. Our aid to the Palestinians is so they can rebuild their communities after Israel destroys them with weapons we paid for. Additionally, Israel can and has blocked our sales of weapons to other Middle East nations while selling weapons to China that can be used against us…and they do this without telling us.

And then, they murder top officials in nation’s hostile to the U.S, dragging us into their bullshit. And they’re our friends?

One thing President Joe Biden should do, which he won’t, is cut the amount of aid we give to Israel.

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Watch me draw:

Rogue Nation


cjones05132018

In breaking the treaty preventing Iran from acquiring a nuclear weapon, Donald Trump said he’s a man who keeps his promises, thus making the United States a nation that does not.

Except, Donald Trump is not a man who keeps his promises. Ask his first wife, or his second, or his third. I’d tell you to ask his idiot sycophants who were promised Mexico would pay for the wall, except they’re idiots.

We know the government of Iran is made of religious zealots who lie. That was a factor the six nations who are a part of this deal accounted for when it was made. As we now negotiate a treaty to end North Korea’s nuclear program, they will keep in mind that Donald Trump lies.

Pulling us out of the deal will reinstate sanctions on Iran and inflict them upon those who do business with that nation. Iran and the other members of the deal, Russia, China, and our allies England, France, and Germany, plan to abide by it despite our absence. This may force us to place sanctions on our allies. Other nations will now make it a part of their foreign policy not to trust the United States, all because Donald Trump wants to erase Obama’s legacy.

The deal is not perfect. It doesn’t prevent Iran from exporting terror, disable their missile program, or stop them from jailing dissidents. But it prevents them from acquiring a nuclear weapon. Our intelligence and even the Israeli intelligence say Iran has not violated the agreement. But now, the United States is in violation of it.

This deal also affects the moderates in Iran. Much like our rabid Republicans who attacked Obama for this deal, the zealots in Iran are now pointing at Trump’s actions as proof that the U.S. is a hostile nation that can’t be trusted, and that they should stop trusting their more moderate leaders.

Trump cited the fact that Iran often chants “death to America” as a reason to pull out of the deal. Has the “dotard” heard what North Korea chants?

The only three nations cheering Trump’s stupid decision are Israel, Saudi Arabia, and the United Arab Emirates. These nations have long wished for regime change in Iran, but they don’t want to do it themselves. They would love to see the United States take military action against Iran, which would be a bigger mess and quagmire than Iraq. For Saudi Arabia and the UAE, a war would raise oil prices which would greatly benefit them.

Trump doesn’t care about the best interest of the United States either. He pulled us out of the Paris Climate Accord and the Trans-Pacific Partnership. He’s moving our Israeli embassy from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem. None of these moves make the U.S. stronger but it’s red meat for his base of stupid people.

If Trump had negotiated this same exact deal with Iran his sycophants and Republicans would be trying to nominate him for a Nobel Prize. Why? Because it prevents Iran from getting nukes. Right now, the sycophants forging applications to nominate him for the prize based only on his agreement to meet with Kim Jong Un.

Now, the United States is the rogue nation. Why? Because our president is a stupid and petty little man. Iran and North Korea are dangers to the world, and so is Donald Trump.

Here’s the video.

Please consider making a donation to keep the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. Reader contributions, small and large, really do help and are appreciated in a time of dwindling revenue for political cartoonists. You will also be supporting free speech and liberty while those in power are doing all they can to suppress it. You can also support by purchasing a signed print for $40.00. Just look at the right of this page and click the PayPal button, or you can email and make other arrangements. Thank you!

Ayatollah Thanos


cjones05082018

Did Thanos kill you?

Warning: This cartoon may contain spoilers. What? You already read it? Sorry.

Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu made a presentation this week claiming that his nation’s intelligence network has lifted documents proving Iran has lied about its ability to build a nuclear weapon. The problem with his presentation is that we already know that.

Yeah, Iran lied, but the international community took that into account when it negotiated the deal with Iran that prevents it from building a nuclear weapon. If anything, Netanyahu gave further reasons for Donald Trump not to pull the United States out of the deal. If Iran has the technology and knowledge to build a nuclear weapon, then why kill a deal they haven’t violated that prevents them from building a weapon?

The International Atomic Energy Agency issued a statement this week saying Iran hasn’t been active since 2009 in developing a nuclear weapon. U.S. intelligence, which Trump ignores, agrees. The problem here is that proven liar Trump listens to other proven liars like Netanyahu, Sean Hannity, and Fox & Friends.

The only reason Trump wants to kill the Iran deal is that it undoes Obama’s legacy. Trump is clamoring for a Nobel Peace Prize because Kim Jong Un has winked at him, but calls a deal that actually prevents a rogue nation from building nukes stupid.

Netanyahu made his presentation for an audience of one, Donald Trump. He hates Obama almost as much as Trump does. The hatred for them lies with the fact that Obama is smarter, better looking, more accomplished, more popular, and just an all-around better human being than those two men combined, and it eats at them daily.

Have you seen Avengers Infinity War? Normally I wouldn’t have seen a movie the weekend it came out. But on Saturday friends dragged me out to see Black Panther figuring it’d be nearly empty with everyone else at Infinity War. One of my friends has a history of dragging his ass, and he continued the tradition by making us late to Black Panther, so we went to see Infinity War. Somehow on short notice, we got in.

Shout out: My friend and former colleague at The Free Lance-Star, Dave Ellis, posted the Thanos link on Facebook. It gave me this cartoon idea. If anything, I spoiling the movie for you is Dave’s fault. That bastard. I can give you his number if you wanna yell at him.

Here’s the video.

Please consider making a donation to keep the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. Reader contributions, small and large, really do help and are appreciated in a time of dwindling revenue for political cartoonists. You will also be supporting free speech and liberty while those in power are doing all they can to suppress it. You can also support by purchasing a signed print for $40.00. Just look at the right of this page and click the PayPal button, or you can email and make other arrangements. Thank you!

Endorsed By The Dark Overlord


cjones09102015

If Dick Cheney was a dentist, he’d be that one out of five that’d recommend brushing your teeth with sugar and battery acid.

At least George W. Bush has the dignity to sit in a bathtub and paint portraits of his toes instead of giving lousy advice on foreign policy.

Whenever I hear conservatives disagree with Obama and tell us how to avoid war I really want to throw something at their head. You were the guys who told us invading Iraq was a great idea. You went to bat for that. You sold it. You carried it. You swore by it. You bled for it…not literally…you sent other people to bleed for it.

Iraq cost us thousands of lives, tens of thousands of Iraqi lives, wounded many Americans who lost limbs and will be physically and emotionally scared forever, destabilized the Mideast, gave us ISIS, scattered refugees throughout Europe, ruined our economy and put us deeper in debt. How dare you even state an opinion on the U.S. and war.

Seriously, you need to sit down, drink a huge glass of shut the Hell up and let other people make decisions on keeping our country safe because you suck at it.

Dick Cheney was wrong on EVERYTHING. He was wrong about weapons of mass destruction. He was wrong about Iraq’s connections to aL Qaida. He was wrong about the cost of the war. He was wrong about how we’d be greeted. He was wrong about disassembling Iraq’s military. Cheney was wrong so often on the Iraq War that one needs a score card for all the points where he was wrong. But that old war profiteer was probably right about how much money his buddies would make on the operation through no-bid contracts.

The man is a war profiteer. He and his friends have made millions in blood money. It’s what he does.

Now he tells us we can’t trust this Iran deal. They say with this deal Iran is on the path to nuclear weapons. What kind of path are they on without the deal? Never Mind that Iran went from zero to 5,000 centrifuges during the Bush/Cheney administration.

I think Cheney had a reality transplant.

I would put more faith in Dick Cheney growing a natural afro than in him ever being right about foreign policy.

 

Trainwreck


cjones08092015

New York Senator Chuck Schumer is going to vote against Obama’s deal with Iran. That’s a blow for Obama as Schumer is highly respected, may be the next Majority Leader, and is the highest ranking Jew in the Senate. It also hurts that he’s a Democrat. Ouch, Obama.

There’s talk about punishing Schumer for this but I think that’s a dumb idea and would be very unfair. While I disagree with Schumer, and I believe no deal is a pathway to Iran having nukes, punishing him is bad politics and would send a very negative message.

It took me about eight hours to draw this cartoon. Well, not to draw it but it took me that long to finish it. I started the cartoon then ordered some Kung Pao Chicken, went into a food coma, woke up, jammed to some Pete Yorn, walked the Beagle, Watched the end of Across The Universe, corresponded to some social media comments, and then I started drawing again. It’s a hard job. I do have Kung Pao leftovers for tomorrow.

I am really not fond of using movies for an analogy in a cartoon, unless it involves sharks in twisters.

Why do I not like using movies in cartoons? I’m glad you asked. Because it’s lazy. It’s not unique or original.

I suspect it works like this for other cartoonist because it’s how it used to work for me: You need an idea but you don’t have one so you think “hey, there’s probably a new movie out there everyone’s talking about and I can just draw that and throw in some labels and maybe a caricature.” Work day is over and I’m brilliant. No I’m not.

Not only is it lazy, it’s just too obvious when the movie is popular. There’s been a dozen to a hundred political cartoons with Minions. I refuse to draw Minions, just because everyone else is doing it. Lazy. Plus, I felt the movie kinda sucked in comparison to Despicable Me (Despicable Me 2 was just OK). I’ve also seen a few with the new Mission Impossible. I don’t know which number Mission Impossible is this new one. I don’t like Tom Cruise, though the fairly recent one where he’s fighting aliens at Normandy and reliving the same day over and over was really bad ass. I digress.

Now if you do a cartoon with a movie that’s not popular you may think “yeah, I’m brilliant” except nobody else wants to do that because most people don’t want to suck. Readers may not remember the movie you’re referring to if it’s not current, so the movie should be a classic or at least well known in pop culture like Gone With The Wind, Rebel Without A Cause, Jaws, Star Wars, Wizard Of Oz, Blues Brothers, you get where I’m going here.

Last week some dork did a cartoon with the movie Shallow Hal. Do you remember Shallow Hal? It’s a Farrelly Brothers movie with Jack Black and it’s not a good Farrelly Brothers movie with Jack Black. It sucked. It makes things that suck seem to suck less because it sucks so much. It came out in the early 2000s and I doubt it would have been a good idea then. Did I mention it sucked? Basically, Hal is shallow. He’s hypnotized to only see the inner beauty in people, thus he starts dating Gwyneth Paltrow who is a total beautiful soul, generous with a huge heart, and she’s morbidly obese with cankles and acne. The movie teaches us the lesson to judge a person by their inner beauty and it uses a lot of fat jokes to sell that message. In the movie poster you see Gwyneth and her beauty but her shadow is huge. In the cartoon the shadow is a mushroom cloud but the physical person is an evil hideous-looking Iranian Mullah. Did the cartoonist even see the movie?

I did see a cartoon earlier this week that used the movie Trainwreck. Honestly, I can’t remember if it was good or bad, who drew it or what issue it covered. I decided not to go looking for it when I got this idea. I’ll do that later though to compare.

In my defense to this cartoon: Trainwreck stars Amy Schumer. She’s a cousin of some sort to Senator Schumer. They even had an anti-gun press conference together last week. That may go over readers’ heads, but screw it. I kinda like it, despite it breaking all my rules.

I really don’t like rules despite having a hundred of them for cartooning. In this case, the man I’m sticking it to is myself.

By the way, the movie Trainwreck is pretty funny. Lebron James steals the movie. Spoiler alert so stop reading here: You see a lot of John Cena, the wrestler. I mean a LOT of John Cena. You see more John Cena than anyone would ever want to see of John Cena. Over seeing that much John Cena, I’d rather watch Shallow Hal.

Update: A friend told me it looked like Schumer was holding a turkey leg to his mouth. It’s supposed to be a bottle inside a bag. His comment bothered me enough to redraw the bag. At least now it doesn’t look like a turkey leg.

Here’s the rough.

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