Ratty Intel


John Ratcliffe is the Director of National Intelligence. Why? It’s not because of his experience in national security matters. It’s not because of any experience he has in being intelligent. It’s because he’s a sycophant to Donald Trump.

When he was being considered for the job, then-Congressman Ratcliffe lied about his experience in prosecuting terrorism and immigration cases. He also spread lies that Russian interference in the 2016 election was designed, not to help Donald Trump, but instead to help Hillary Clinton. Seriously.

He’s accused the FBI of being biased against Donald Trump. After the Mueller Report came out, Ratcliffe claimed it wasn’t written by Robert Mueller but…you’re going to love this…Hillary Clinton’s “de facto legal team.” Yeah, this guy is de-facts alright.

Now, Ratcliffe has decided to “scale back” intelligence briefings to Congress. Why? He claims it’s because of leaks and now there will only be written briefings. Uh, how will leaks stop if they’re only written? Hell, if anything, you’ve done the leakers’ work for them by typing it out already. Trust me. Typesetting is a pain.

We’re not actually aware of any leaks from Congress about U.S. intelligence. Ratcliffe wouldn’t describe any. If there are leaks, they’re just as likely to come out of the White House or Ratcliffe’s own office, you know, since he doesn’t have any experience with intelligence and I’m sure the people around him are more sycophants than career intelligence professionals.

During the 2016 election, President Obama chose not to go public with Russia’s meddling in our election which he knew was in favor of Donald Trump. He requested the Senate to join him in issuing a statement condemning Russia’s actions and that it wouldn’t be tolerated, but Mitch McConnell refused to participate. Why? Because Moscow Mitch knew Russia meddling was designed to help Donald Trump. After the election, McConnell and other Republicans criticized President Obama for not going public with the information.

President Obama did not want to make a statement and appear to be assisting the Clinton campaign. Now, Donald Trump just doesn’t care how anything appears.

He’s obligated to Vladimir Putin. He’s afraid to say anything negative about him. When it was pointed out that Putin killed his critics, Trump’s defense of Putin was to insult the United States. He’s taken Putin’s word over our Intelligence agencies. He’s ignoring reports Putin put bounties on the heads of American troops. He’s not just ignoring Russia’s current meddling, he’s trying to cover it up.

There was a report this week that Russia is behind a new campaign of raising questions about Joe Biden’s mental stability. It’s the same campaign Donald Trump has about Biden’s mental stability. 

When Attorney General William Barr was interviewed by Wolf Blitzer this week, Barr claimed China was a larger threat to our election than Russia which is bullshit.

Like most Trump appointees, Ratcliffe is more interested in blind obedience to Trump than in doing his job. Speaker Nancy Pelosi may force him to do his job with a subpoena. Trump and Ratcliffe don’t want Congress to know about Russian meddling in this election. And they don’t want to do anything to protect our election.

Ratcliffe has the job of protecting the United States and he’s refusing to do it. Donald Trump also has a job of protecting the United States and he’s refusing to do it.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

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Nyet Intelligence


It’s very hard to believe our intelligence agencies did not inform the president (sic) of the United States about Russia paying the Taliban bounties for killing American troops in Afghanistan.

Granted, if this was included in Donald Trump’s daily briefings, before they told him of this scheme by Putin, they’d have to explain where Afghanistan is, who the Taliban are, and repeat once again that Russia and Vladimir Putin are the fucking bad guys.

According to inside sources, the intel was included in his daily briefings. What’s being questioned now is whether it was read to him or just left in the written report for him to find it by himself…which would never happen. Just from the logistics of his rate of tweets and golf, when would he have the time to read? Plus, have you heard him read from a teleprompter? Reading is very difficult for him. If Donald Trump is going to hear about anything, it has to be on Fox or tweeted by a Nazi.

There is speculation the intelligence community had qualms about presenting this information to Donald Trump at all, which might be why it would be in the written report, knowing he’d never read it.

No president has had as many former staffers as Donald Trump has who tell us he’s really bad at this stuff. What kind of stuff? The kind of stuff that involves foreign policy and intelligence. You know…presidenting.

But, the other major concern is Donald Trump would share this information with Putin. And, that’s not just a silly concern that can be easily pushed aside. Donald Trump has given Russians classified information in the past. He’s tweeted classified information in the past.

Shortly after taking office, Donald Trump invited Russians into the Oval Office, allowed their press with their recording equipment in, and kicked out the American press. There, Donald Trump gave the Russian ambassador and essentially their Foreign Minister (their Secretary of State) intelligence about a planned operation by ISIS in Syria. What’s even worse is, it wasn’t our intelligence. It was given to us by Israel. Donald Trump betrayed the American intelligence community, our allies fighting with us in Syria against ISIS, and our allies. Did he do it to commit treason? No. He did it out of stupidity. He is subservient to Russia and was trying to show off. As our Secretary of State at that time said, he’s a fucking moron.

A top European diplomat said Trump’s sharing of classified information with Russia would force them to stop sharing information with us because sharing intel with Americans while Trump is president (sic) could put their sources at risk.

A member of Germany’s intelligence agency said if Trump “passes this information to other governments at will, then Trump becomes a security risk for the entire western world.”

When Donald Trump met with Vladimir Putin at a global conference, he went out of his schedule for an impromptu chat with the Russian totalitarian without anyone from our side with him. He relied on Putin’s translator. He didn’t bring a U.S. translator or anyone to take notes.

When he had an official meeting with Putin in Finland (which is NOT a part of Russia as he believed), he kicked all U.S. personnel out of the room except an American interpreter. After the meeting, he confiscated the interpreter’s notes. Why didn’t he want anyone to know what he and Putin talked about? Maybe they talked about that penthouse Trump offered to Putin during the 2016 presidential campaign in an effort to construct a Trump Tower in Moscow. Maybe he talked about Russia’s meddling in 2016. Maybe he talked about their meddling in 2020. Maybe he got all his ideas about Ukraine and Democrats from that meeting. Maybe they talked about the pee tape.

And, when he and Putin addressed the press, he took Putin’s side over American intelligence about whether or not Russia attacked our elections.

In 2017, he told the president of the Philippines, Rodrigo Duterte, another fascist, the location of two U.S. nuclear submarines off the coast of North Korea. This information is so tight that normally the only people who know for certain the submarines’ locations are the captains of those submarines.

After the bombing of a concert in Manchester in the United Kingdom in 2017, Trump leaked to the press details of the case, the main suspect, and even images of the bomb used. The British government was pissed as it compromised their case and British police said they would stop passing information to their U.S. counterparts.

Last year, Donald Trump tweeted an image of an Iranian missile that had been damaged from an explosion during takeoff. What this image revealed were our highly classified surveillance capabilities to take such a photo.

This is why I’m sure there are no dead alien bodies at Roswell. Donald Trump would have tweeted out photos. Also, we still don’t know who killed JFK because Trump would have shared that too. Unless our intelligence isn’t giving that information to Trump.

The information on Putin’s bounties was passed to our British allies, who we can trust more than the American president (sic). If the British got it from us, then it was made available to Donald Trump, but they may not have pointed it out to him.

It’s a sickening thought that Donald Trump is president (sic) and classified information protecting this nation is given to him. It’s sickening he can declassify anything he wants as president (sic). It’s sickening he has the nuclear football which he allows Mar-a-Lago guests to pose with. It’s sickening that one time, he actually held an intelligence briefing with guests present at Mar-a-Lago. Seriously. He did that.

The funny thing is, everyone who complained about Hillary’s server have never expressed concern over Trump’s leaky treasonous mouth.

Our allies don’t want to share classified information with us. Our intelligence network, who Trump has attacked and rebuked and sided with Putin over, doesn’t want to share intelligence with the president of the United States (sic).

That’s because Donald Trump is a national security risk.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first.

But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box. 

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The Captors’ Resumes


Trump’s pick to be the new director of national intelligence, John Ratcliffe, has multiple embellishments on his resumé.

He claims on his website and in campaign material that he tried suspects accused of funneling money to Hamas. As it turns out, that’s not true. He never prosecuted a case in the matter.

He was an interim U.S. attorney for the Eastern District of Texas during George W. Bush’s administration. He was basically a placeholder in the position. But, Ratcliffe claims he oversaw terrorism cases, plural. The only example of any significant cases that concern national security is one trial where he prosecuted an Iraq War veteran who pleaded guilty to possessing a pipe bomb.

Ratcliffe also claims that during his time at U.S. attorney that he “arrested” over 300 illegal aliens in a single day that were illegally employed by chicken processing plants in five states. His House website makes the same claim. He did help bring charges against 280 noncitizens on identity fraud charges and other crimes to secure employment, but he didn’t arrest anyone. Even Matlock has more arrests than Ratcliffe because he was Sheriff of Mayberry first.

He also claimed on his 2016 campaign website and in a bio on his House website that he “put terrorists in prison.” This was the case involving a Muslim charity sending money to Hamas. Three former government lawyers and a former senior FBI official, when asked about John Ratcliffe’s involvement, said, “who?” They said he didn’t contribute any substance to the case. Plus, there were no convictions against the charity. One attorney said the mistrial hit the Justice Department like a “two-by-four in the middle of the forehead.” This is what Ratcliffe is basing his claim of putting “terrorists in prison.”

Also, it turns out he was never a member of the Backstreet Boys and didn’t co-write “I Want It That Way.”

The director of intelligence should have actual experience with national intelligence. The man Ratcliffe is replacing, Dan Coats, did not have to pad his resume. Coats predecessor, James Clapper, served as undersecretary of defense for intelligence, director of the National Geospatial-Intelligence Agency (ask Ratcliffe or Trump what that is), and as director of the Defense Intelligence Agency. He was unanimously confirmed by the Senate. Later, Trump revoked Clapper’s security clearance because he said negative things about Trump. Ratcliffe, on the hand, has skeptics in his own party. He’s less of an actual analyst of intelligence and more of a Trump cultist.

Donald Trump also likes to boastéé about accomplishments he’s never accomplished. At one of his campaign stops, he displayed Trump steaks that were NOT Trump steaks and were actually purchased at a local butcher shop. Trump also did NOT help at the site of the World Trade Center, as he claimed earlier this week. In reality, after the WTC fell down from the attack by al Qaida, he boasted about how he now had the tallest building in New York City. And, just in case you’re a Trump revisionist, he didn’t “create” this economy. Like most things he has, Trump inherited a great economy. Unlike the fortune he claims he built but was inherited from his father, he inherited the economy from Barack Obama.

And, when Trump is throwing children into cages, he’s not locking up MS-13 gang members. In 2018, Trump said unaccompanied minors “look so innocent but aren’t in reality.” His acting commissioner of Customs and Border Protection, Mark Morgan, once told Fox News that he can tell which unaccompanied minors will become gang members by looking into their eyes. He told Tucker Carlson, “I’ve looked into their eyes and said, ‘that is a soon-to-be MS-13 gang member.'” Apparently, Mark Morgan got the job after Miss Cleo turned it down.

While MS-13 is horrible and violent and everything you should hate, they’re not invading the country or posing as fake families. MS-13 was created in the United States and it recruits within the U.S. They don’t import. They’re not even that large of an organization. According to the Justice Department, the gang only accounts for 10,000 of the 1.4 million gang members nationwide. They’re not growing as they had the same number of members a decade ago. They average about 35 murders a year nationwide, which is fewer than murders committed by gangs you never heard of, and possibly fewer than those committed by Trump supporters. If Trump wants to focus on gang activity, he should direct his agencies to combat all of it, not just focus on the one that’s meat for his racist base.

When you think about it, when someone kills minorities in this nation while echoing Trump’s racist rhetoric, that makes Trump a recruiter of terrorists. Donald Trump is more dangerous to American communities than MS-13.

Ratcliffe has never arrested a terrorist in his life. Neither has Donald Trump. Instead, Trump is throwing kids in cages.

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More Butt For Barr


Once again, Donald Trump is politicizing the Justice Department, just like he promised he would as a candidate.

Trump has given Attorney General William Barr sweeping authority to declassify information related to the Russian investigation. This move frightens the intelligence community. It endangers sources, methods, and threatens to manipulate the intelligence that’s been gathered for political means.

You may have hopes that William Barr will push this new authority to the side, wanting to respect the intelligence community and not use his position to play politics for Trump, but according to Trump, Barr asked for this authority.

Trump has Barr investigating the Russia investigation. They and other Republicans are upset that the Justice Department pursued leads on people who were in contact with the Russian government and being useful idiots for the Kremlin. These people were in the Trump campaign. Trump has called the investigation treason. According to Trump, it’s unpatriotic to go after our nation’s enemies when they’re in close contact with Trump.

Trump has constantly attacked the FBI and intelligence community since coming into office and has not been subtle in calling for the Justice Department to go after his political enemies. In the future, we’re going to need an investigation into the investigation into the investigation.

Usually, the Attorney General would prepare a report on a matter and ask senior leaders at the NSA, CIA, the Office of the Director of National Intelligence, and other agencies to declassify specific documents without harming the intelligence-gathering process. In this instance, he can do whatever he wants with the information without concern for who or what it hurts. He was given this authority by a man who gave Russians classified information in the Oval Office, obtained through an ally.

Trump is showing his ass. Currently, he’s in Japan showing our allies there his ass. These kind of moves, violating and abusing his power as president, are just a few of the many reasons his ass needs to be removed from the presidency.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
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Ignore The Man Behind The Butt


The more that the Russian hacking story develops the angrier I get. I’m angry that the Russians did this. I’m angry they succeeded. I’m angry that we have a president-elect who’s becoming more and more complicit with the Russians. I’m angry that his supporters allowed themselves to be played by the Russians and continue to put partisanship over patriotism.

The directors of national intelligence, the National Security Agency, The FBI, and the CIA together sat Mr. Trump down to lay out the evidence. First they had to distract him from Tweeting about the ratings of The Apprentice now that Arnold Schwarzenegger is the new host. After they were able to meet with Trump and do their job they told Trump that Vladimir Putin ordered the hacking. Putin wanted Trump to win. They sought to denigrate Hillary Clinton. They created a broad campaign that included covert operations, including cyberactivities and “trolling” on the internet of people who were viewed as opponents of Russia’s effort. They created a website to expose the emails. When that website didn’t catch on they released the information to Wikileaks. After Trump won the Russians celebrated. Let’s not forget that Trump himself asked the Russians to disrupt the Clinton campaign and to leak information from hacking.

Trump’s first response to all this was to protect his ego and tweet that the Russians didn’t affect the outcome. That was the most important detail to Trump. He’s not acknowledging the Russians did the hacking but this is the farthest he’s gone as he didn’t continue his campaign that they weren’t involved and that the hackers could be the Chinese or New Jersey fat guys. Trump mostly blamed the DNC for having such lousy security to allow themselves to be hacked (which is like blaming a rape victim) and ignored the fact that the RNC was hacked also. The Russians just didn’t release those emails.

Trump tweeted Saturday morning about how much he’ll be respected by Russia and that only “stupid” people don’t want a great relationship with the nation. Of course Trump will have a great relationship with Russia. Puppets never argue with their masters unless it’s part of the show. Seeing that Russia sought to destroy the Democrats’ campaign, the candidate Vladimir respected was Hillary Clinton.

One detail that really makes me angry is that our future president won’t admit information he doesn’t agree with, or insults him personally. Four directors gave him the facts but for Trump and his supporters they don’t have the clout or credibility as Vladimir Putin, Julian Assange, or the National Enquirer.

As a journalist who’s worked for newspapers for over 25 years it deeply disturbs me that Trump has a love for the National Enquirer and lacks the intelligence and critical thinking to recognize false information. I would like to think the leader of the free world is intelligent enough to know the difference between real and fake news. The National Enquirer doesn’t just print fake news. They print outlandish and unbelievable fake news. Unbelievable to a rational and reasonable person at least which Trump and his supporters are not.

Republicans need to recognize the warning signs now. Trump isn’t even pushing Republicanism anymore. This is Trumpism. This is idol worship for an empty idol. Devoid of ideas, intellect, and incapable of critical thinking (probably because he doesn’t actually read). People incapable of thinking critically are not problem solvers. They’re tweeters. His first response to any problem is to hurl childish insults to tell us how great he is.

Donald Trump has already broken three of his big campaign promises and he’s not even president yet. There will be no locking her up, no “repealing and replacing,” and no border wall paid for my Mexico (you’re going to pay for it. People who hated raising the debt ceiling should really love that). First, you should have known he was lying before the election. That was easy to spot but then again, intelligent people know a fake news story when they see it. Second, if Trump’s breaking promises now, thus everything he sold you is not actually important to him, what’s he going to break next? We’re still waiting on his taxes. How about those press conferences he keeps announcing?

Trump played you as much as Putin has played you. Except Putin is actually smart. You allowed yourself to be played by a narcissistic moron with the maturity of an angry toddler in a crappy diaper. Good job. When I was a kid I fell for it when my grandfather told me to pull his finger. I never pulled the finger twice. You’re still pulling Trump’s finger.

Trump’s surrogates on news shows can’t even allow a question to finish before they start not answering it. Their first response is to talk about how bad of a campaign Hillary Clinton ran. Putin has made the same point. Trump has made the same point. Your talking points are coming from Moscow. Alexey Pushkov, a Russian senator, said that Republicans trust Putin more than they trust Democrats. He’s right. There’s something very wrong with that.

I wasn’t real crazy about drawing a puppet cartoon as it’s been done, but hopefully not in this context. Trump refuses to acknowledge there’s a Russian hand up his ass. And if you’re spreading fake news, have spread it, continue to deny the Russians hacked our election, or you even voted for Trump, you’re not noticing the hand up your ass either.

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No Time For Intelligence


JaMarcus Russell was a star quarterback for LSU. He was thought of so highly that the Oakland Raiders made him their number one draft pick, number one overall, in the 2007 draft, and signed him for $68 million.

Russell loved the NFL money and lifestyle but the man didn’t have any interest in learning how to be an NFL quarterback. He never studied or learned how to play the game. Instead of throwing touchdowns and learning the playbook, he threw interceptions and gained weight. He gained a lot of weight. $68 million buys a lot of sandwiches. In the end Oakland released him after only three seasons and attempted to recoup over $9 million from the lazy quarterback.

Russell is considered by many draft experts to be the biggest bust in NFL history. No other team even gave him a chance to compete for another job and he never played in the game again. Even Ryan Leaf got to sign with another team after his bust. The stigma of the failure of Russell was so intense no other player wore his #2 in Oakland until 2013. Oakland spent the years since recovering from the disaster and haven’t even made the playoffs since (thirteen years so far).

The Oakland Raiders didn’t know how to select a quarterback in 2007 and in 2016 a little under 62 million Americans don’t know how to pick a president.

I’ve said all along Donald Trump wants to be president but he doesn’t have any interest in actually doing the job. So far he has only had two intelligence briefings, blowing them off for other important matters like interviewing potential members of his cabinet, deciding to live without his wife in the White House for the first five months, beckoning members of the media to come to his tower so he can chew them out, and engaging in twitter feuds with Alec Baldwin and the cast of a Broadway play.

Remember how Bush ignored warnings of 9/11? Even he took advantage of the opportunity to get up to speed on U.S. intelligence and he didn’t know how to chew his food. In fact, the last three president-elects have used the opportunities provided by the briefings and took part in them daily. Trump, on the other hand, will be lucky to find the light switch when he enters the Oval Office.

It’s not that Trump knows the “Art Of The Deal” so well, but the art of the con. When it comes to that art he’s a Rembrandt. When it comes to everything else necessary to be a successful president  he’s Montgomery Burns without the ethics. Donald Trump has conned enough voters to give him the presidency. That or they’re just really stupid and racist.

Trump has proven he’s not taking his job seriously. Just look at his appointments. He’s placed Dr. Ben Carson in charge of the Department of Urban Housing because he’s lived and been in cities. He’s putting a woman in charge of the Department of Education, a position he wants to eliminate, who has never gone to a public school, sent her kids to a public school, and has advocated against public schools….and her brother is a “yuge” donor to the Trump campaign. He’s appointed South Carolina governor Nikki Haley as ambassador to the United Nations which looks good as she’s shown she can handle heated issues, but she has zilcho experience with foreign relations. Some people say she’ll be good at that job because she’s Indian which is like saying I would be a good ambassador to European Union because I’m a Euromutt. Rudy Giuliani may become Secretary of State and the only good thing about that is it will get him out of our country on a frequent basis, though it probably won’t endear us much to our foes and allies (it’ll kinda be like your Thanksgiving with that racist uncle). Let’s not forget the white supremacist he’s made as his Chief Strategist or the Muslim hater he made his National Security adviser.

The Oakland Raiders are still climbing back and rebuilding from the expensive JaMarcus Russell disaster which took place ten years ago. How much and how long will it take us to crawl back from the Trump disaster?

The Canadian Football League didn’t want Russell and that nation probably won’t take Trump either. Not for all the sandwiches in the world.

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