Blowing Smoke With Zuck


The Wall Street Journal has done a series on Facebook called “The Facebook Files” based on internal documents by a former employee. The whistleblower will be appearing on 60 Minutes tonight. You can be sure Zuckerberg will be watching.

The documents reveal that “elite” Facebook users are exempt from a lot of the platform’s rules, like terms of service that lands you in “Facebook jail.” Yeah, the beautiful people don’t have to worry about that. Look at Donald Trump and Twitter. How many terrorist attacks and mass shootings did the guy have to have inspired before he finally got banned?

By the way, Twitter: Why is Ben Garrison back on your platform? All he did was create a new account and is back to posting the same anti-Semitic conspiracy theories and inspiring white nationalists that you originally deleted his fuckwit ass for. The Trump cultist is posting cartoons about microchips and endorsing horse de-wormer. Twitter, you need to de-fucknut your platform. But I digress.

The documents revealed by the Journal also show Facebook’s response to human traffickers is extremely weak. For example, Matt Gaetz is still on Facebook. He doesn’t need Facebook jail. He needs real jail.

The whistleblower also revealed, which will come to a complete surprise to everyone, that connections on its platform between friends and families is actually elevating “divisive content” and increasing hate and animosity. I’d ask my two sisters how they feel about that if we were still talking and I hadn’t already blocked their MAGA asses. Girls, I said “MAGA” asses, not “MEGA.” Please don’t write me.

All that stuff is bad, but the revelation that’s received the most attention and has even led to two congressional hearings is that Instagram increases anxiety and trauma on younger users’ mental health and stigmatizes body image. Now, if the camel in my cartoon was on Instagram, some mean girls would be body-shaming his humps. Don’t worry, Joe. Your humps are as sexy as Fergie’s humps, her humps, her lovely lady lumps, from the Black Eyed Peas. Can you believe it’s been over 15 years since that song came out? Can you believe the Black Eyed Peas are still around even after releasing songs like “My Humps?” Can you believe I just put that earworm in you?

In a series of slides to defend itself (my humps. my humps. Just checking), Facebook actually admits that Instagram has made image anxiety and body shaming worse for one in three teenage girls, but they say that’s only from people who responded to its survey. So what they’re saying without knowing is that it could be worse…a lot worse.

Then, the Journal released more internal documents, including statistics indicating that 66 percent of teen girls and 40 percent of teen boys on Instagram experience “negative social comparisons,” that 52 percent of teen girls experiencing this negative social comparison say it was the result of images related to beauty, and that Instagram made pre-existing body image issues even worse in 32 percent of teen girls.

One in five teens say Instagram makes them feel worse about themselves. The research further found that Instagram had the highest impact on body and appearance comparisons relative to apps like TikTok, Snapchat, and VSCO. I don’t even know what VSCO is.

Instagram is creating image envy and they’re doing it with stuff like 0-sized models in diet tea ads, and I totally understand that image envy. I live by a college and every time a shirtless 20-year old male college student jogs by my apartment, I just want to shout from my second-story window, “I hope you get hit by a bus, you flat-stomach fuck! It’s not fair! Why? Why?” And then I eat a bunch of bacon and ice cream.

Instagram is creating these filters. The more you see these ads creating body shaming and image envy, the more your friends see them…and the more your friends see them, the more you see them. The next thing you know, you’re scrolling through Instagram crying while inhaling two pounds of bacon and a gallon of chunky fudge ice cream. I know I do that and I’m not a teenage girl (but I do think Taylor Swift is the shiznit. I’m so old, I still say “shiznit” I bet still says “shiznit”. I just made Andréa, my copy editor, look up “”. A few days ago, I introduced her to the word “strange” as a noun).

The slide decks Facebook created to study this details how teens spiral on Instagram, compared the experience of falling down one of these toxic rabbit holes to the stages of grief. The rabbit holes that lead to one another are bargaining, insecurity, self-described dysmorphia, anger, paralysis, and withdrawal. The main thing that creates these rabbit holes is stalking other people’s rabbit holes. Don’t stalk people’s holes, people. Taylor Swift has probably written some songs about this.

Teens are basing their bodies on those of celebrities, whose bodies are about as realistic as a Barbie doll. Nobody looks like Ryan Reynolds. Even Ryan Reynolds doesn’t look like Ryan Reynolds, that flat-stomach Canadian. Can someone up there please introduce him to poutine?

Here’s my advice: Take a break. Step away. Take a walk. Jump on a city bus and see where it takes you. Leave your phone at home. Eat some poutine and then spit it out. Watch a Ryan Reynolds movie that’s NOT “Green Lantern.” Shout expletives at jogging college students. Google to find out why Fergie left the Black Eyed Peas. Distract yourself with the real world.

Fairly recently, I was banned from Facebook for three days because I posted a cartoon saying the Taliban is mean to women. Facebook is apparently very protective of the Sex traffickers and the Taliban. I actually enjoyed that time away from Facebook. It was three days of uninterrupted bacon. I reposted the same cartoon as soon as the ban was lifted, hoping I’d get banned again…but it didn’t work.

Remember, Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, Reddit, Pinterest (whatever people do there), LinkedIn (whatever people do there), and MySpace (if it’s still there) need you more than you need it.

Now excuse me, I think I hear some joggers approaching.

Creative note: All those teens on Instagram probably don’t even know who Joe Camel is.

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Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are FIVE copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

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Hater Purge


Last Friday, Donald Trump tweeted, “I am continuing to monitor the censorship of AMERICAN CITIZENS on social media platforms. This is the United States of America — and we have what’s known as FREEDOM OF SPEECH! We are monitoring and watching, closely!!” He also accused Facebook of mistreating Diamond & Silk, a couple of Trump sycophants who have a fan page on the platform. Trump tweeted that they’ve been “treated so horribly by Facebook” and “we’re looking into it.”

Trump doesn’t have time to bring up election meddling in an hour-long phone call with Russian president Vladimir Putin, where somehow he was able to see that Putin was smiling, but he has plenty of time to monitor the “censorship of American citizens” on social media platforms and time to “look into it.”

Donald Trump does NOT care about censorship. In fact, he’s all for it as he’s threatened the First Amendment and press freedoms multiple times. He’s stated the press should be sued for “fake news,” which is news he doesn’t like, and that the press shouldn’t be allowed to publish whatever they want.

What Trump doesn’t like is when social media limits or kicks conspiracy theorists and hate mongers, who are supporters of his, to the curb. He proved that the other night in his outrage and tweetstorm over Facebook and Instagram kicking off haters, racists, Nazi lovers, and conspiracy theorists like Alex Jones, Paul Joseph Watson, Milo Yiannopoulos, Paul Nehlen, and Laura Loomer. Louis Farrakhan was also expunged from the platforms but Trump didn’t mention him. Gee, I wonder why.

I have had cartoons removed by Instagram and one video removed by YouTube. When that happens, I get annoyed because whoever made that decision can’t tell the difference between hate-mongering and content attacking hate-mongering. Sheesh. Usually, when this happens, I don’t get too angry or upset as it’s pretty much out of my hands. I’ll make the removal public information and move on with my life. But even when I feel the removal is unjustified I don’t call it censorship…because it’s not.

“Censorship” is a very popular charge when something you like is removed. But 99% of the time, it’s not censorship. The same people who scream that a baker should be allowed to refuse customers ordering gay wedding cakes also scream that privately-owned platform should provide every fucknut in the world an outlet for their hate and fear mongering.

If I kick you out of my house because you dropped an N-bomb, I didn’t deprive you of your freedom of speech. The same goes for the comments on this website. You can still drop N-bombs in this country, but I don’t have an obligation to provide you an outlet for it. Neither does Facebook, YouTube, or Twitter. Yes, they are public platforms but they’re not government owned.

Trump and conservatives only care about their freedom of speech, not yours. This is also another opportunity for the crowd that loves to accuse liberals of being “snowflakes” to act like snowflakes. White Republicans love to play the victims while they’re beating down on other people. Republicans are the whiniest, thin-skinned babies on the planet. If they don’t have something to have actual outrage over, they’ll invent one.

Many of the people removed by social media were spreading false information and hate. Right-wing actor and crazy pants James Woods has been removed from Twitter for posting content they believe incites violence. Donald Trump has retweeted hate videos and false information from AltRight hate groups. One of his supporters mailed bombs to Democrats, critics, and journalists who Trump has attacked on Twitter. A Pittsburgh synagogue was shot up, killing eleven, by a man who had posted the same wolf whistles, keywords, and conspiracy theories shared by Trump.

Donald Trump shares fake information. He’s a fear mongerer and he incites violence. Even after violence occurs, he doesn’t stop. Donald Trump is the hater president who actively seeks to divide this nation. He has not been banned by Twitter.

There is not a law that says a sitting president can’t be indicted. It’s just a Justice Department policy. Just as stupid is Twitter’s apparent policy that a sitting president can’t be banned from their platform, no matter how much he advocates for his followers to commit violence.

Twitter has removed thousands of bots from Trump’s followers which has enraged him. He needs all the followers he can get, even the fake ones if he’s ever going to catch up to Obama’s number of followers. What Twitter needs to do while removing the bots is to go after the Russian trolls, like Donald Trump.

Twitter, put your money where your mouth is and ban Donald Trump. His tweetstorm over that would be epic…oh wait.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
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