Infrastructure

Shake It For Trump


cjones05262019

Donald Trump is the boy who cried, “Infrastructure Week” as in, he never had any intention of working on infrastructure with Speaker Nancy Pelosi or Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer.

The Democrats went to the White House to work with Trump on infrastructure, something he claims he’d be very good at because he lives in a structure, but instead, he used it as a ploy to explode over Congressional investigations.

Trump is refusing to work with Democrats on infrastructure or any bipartisan measures until they “get these phony investigations over with,” as he said in a Rose Garden tempter tantrum complete with pre-planned props.

Trump claims he was planning on a legitimate meeting with his Democratic colleagues until Pelosi accused him of engaging in a cover-up. He then said he “doesn’t do coverups,” as he has refused to release his taxes and continues to fight subpoenas and order underlings not to testify before Congress. Don’t get me started on that dead ferret on his head.

Donald Trump does not do infrastructure. Donald Trump does coverups.

Do you remember when Obama held the nation hostage and refused to do his job when Republicans conducted one investigation after another on Benghazi? How about when Bill Clinton was investigated repeatedly from the day he walked into the Oval Office? Donald Trump doesn’t multitask. Trump can’t even walk and chew gum at the same time.

The president is supposed to do his job, not hold the nation hostage because he’s butthurt. If you don’t want to be investigated, then don’t be a crook. Trump is upset because the Justice Department reached a deal with Congress to provide some secret material related to the Mueller Report, and a second federal judge ruled against Trump’s efforts to block Congress from gaining access to his financial information.

In Britain, protesters have decided to throw milkshakes at conservative lawmakers. It’s gotten so bad, the police have asked some McDonalds to stop selling them when conservative assholes are nearby.

If you don’t want to be investigated or covered in delicious milkshakes, don’t be a conservative asshole.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
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Blow-up Air Traffic Control


cjones06092017

Trump’s grand initiative to invest in America’s infrastructure begins with his desire to privatize the Federal Aviation Administration. What does that mean for me and you? For starters, it means that now you’ll spend the entire flight with your head between your knees which is reasonable since Trump plans to spend his entire term with his head up his ass.

Don’t worry too much about it because Trump is a great businessman and dealmaker. He’s told us that himself. I’m sure it’ll soar as well as Trump casinos (crapped out), or Trump Water (Tijuana water was safer), Trump Steaks (sold through Sharper Image. For some reason wildly expensive meat wouldn’t sell through a novelty electronic chain), Trump University (not an actual university that sold worthless degrees for $35,000), Trump Vodka/Trump Wine (from a man who doesn’t drink. Personally, if you want to sell me liquor then you better be a raging alcoholic), Trump Mortgage (which he started right before the housing market burst), Trump The Game (a contest of strategy and fuckery with Trump’s face on it), the New Jersey Generals (a football team that made red-blooded Americans hate football), Tour de Trump (a ripoff of the Tour de France which should have been called the “Tour duh Trump”), Trump On The Ocean (a huge restaurant Trump put in the path of Hurricane Sandy), The Trump Network (a vitamin supplement you insert up your ass. A vitamin pyramid scheme is still available called “Plexus”), Trumped! (a radio show for a market where there’s already too many right-wing assholes), Trump New Media (an internet providing service but the yutz couldn’t compete with Yahoo), Trump Magazine (not even yacht-owning douchebags wanted to buy something with Eric Trump on the cover), GoTrump.com (a travel search engine that showed you the quickest routes to take it up the ass).

Then there was Trump Airlines. What happened with that venture? Like most Trump businesses it went into a tail dive and all that was left in the flaming wreckage were defaulted loans and a bunch of pissed-off creditors. Captain Sully couldn’t have landed that disaster. And now Trump wants to take his experience as an airline owner and restructure how American air travel works. We’re not going to need a Muslim ban because ain’t nobody gonna wanna fly here.

To enact this grand plan Trump held another signing. No, it wasn’t an executive order. It was a memo. Yes, a memo. Like his executive order signings, Trump surrounded himself with boot-licking sycophants who applauded obediently. Trump then handed out the pens he used to sign the memo, which is about as meaningful and significant as handing out toilet paper from his last bowel movement. But you know, Trump sycophants would line up for that.

Quite frankly, I think Otto would make a better president. There’s not as much hot air in his head.

Creative Notes: Most cartoonists go through several ideas before they stumble stupidly upon the one that’s going to work for them. With my first stupid idea, I needed to consult an expert in air traffic control. Fortunately for me, I know one. My ex-wife’s husband.

Kenny is an air traffic controller so he knows a lot about the subject and he gave me some great information for the cartoon idea I didn’t use. As it turns out, that idea was kinda stupid and the info Kenny provided made it clear that it didn’t work at all. Not even a little.

I really liked this idea after it came to me. Longtime readers of this blog know I love Blazing Saddles, The Jerk, and Airplane and will use them in cartoons. I’ve used each of those in some context fairly recently. I gotta find a way to work in Young Frankenstein.

I also enjoyed not putting any dialogue into this cartoon. Other than the label (which I had to do twice), I didn’t have to waste any time on lettering which was a relief after all the busy words in my last cartoon.

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