Anti-Vaxxer Paradise


I’ll write a blog for this cartoon later today. It’s the first of the month (in case you’re a Republican, May), and I need to get to my post office and I’d like to do it before noon.

Other than that, both of my proofers, Hilary and Laura, had very strong reactions to today’s cartoon. I acknowledge, this is terrible.

Now for the blog:

I got an Uber to my post office and made it within a minute of the window closing. As it turned out, I didn’t need it but you never know. Sometimes I have package or the mail ladies have put someone else’s mail into my box. Anyway, I decided to stop at a bar to write this and get some food afterward. As I got to the bar, I discovered stools were back at the bar.

See, over the past year, there has been no sitting at bars in Virginia. What this means is, you sit at a table away from the bar and you’re supposed to be six feet apart from other people. If you want to meet a bunch of covid deniers, go to a bar.

Bars have been forced to comply with state covid rules. Of course, they hate that. Covid has hurt their business just as it’s hurt everyone else’s business. But bars have taken it personally. I can see why they want to be covid deniers since they have often been hotspots.

As I came into this bar, I asked about the seats at the bar, and the bartender told me it was OK now. These stools are not six feet apart and I know that rule is still in effect. I asked about this and she said, “Yeah, but we don’t care.”

That’s it right there. They don’t care. They don’t care about quarantines, social distance, or face masks and they’re all forms of oppression being inflicted by a Marxist government and the entire experience is worse than the Holocaust…if you listen to these people. On top of all that, they’re anti-vaxxers.

People have different reasons to oppose the vaccine. When I ask someone while I’m out in public (which is not often) if they’ve have or plan to get vaccinated, my question is usually met with resistance. I try not to challenge them and explain that I’m just taking a personal poll. I haven’t talked to anyone in person who is afraid of microchips in the vaccine and is waging a political war against it. Every one of the individuals I have talked to is  afraid or suspicious of the vaccine while also not identifying him/herself as anti-vaxxers.

I was talking to a young lady earlier this week who told me she was afraid because she heard covid vaccines can make some people sterile. There is no research supporting that but she believes it anyway. Others are suspicious because the vaccines are new and they don’t believe they’ve been tested enough. They don’t want to be guinea pigs. Add to that, the recent worries of the Johnson & Johnson vaccine giving blood clots as a rare side effect. Other people are just resistant to any vaccinations.

Covid cases in this country are going down and we may be at 60% immunity nationwide from vaccinations and people who have already contracted covid. Now, as the Biden administration is trying to convince more Americans to become vaccinated, the numbers of people getting vaccines are dropping. I’m looking forward to next week when I receive my second injection and I can see if the lines are just as long as they were three weeks ago when I got my first.

Leave it to the United States to make fear and politicization of vaccination to the coronavirus a first-world privilege. The people who complain the most about the pandemic robbing their liberties are the same assholes who don’t want to help in getting rid of the virus. While we’re refusing to vaccinate despite the availability of vaccines, thanks to having an adult president who tackles problems instead of gaslighting them, India is on fire.

These anti-vaxxers and anti-maskers politicizing the virus and acting like the pandemic is an assault on their liberties remind me of Libertarians.

Despite wanting a nation of zero regulations, no taxes, and no government authority whatsoever, you don’t see Libertarians moving to live in the mayhem that’s Somalia. Somalia is a libertarian paradise. Maybe none of them wants to wear puffy pirate shirts. Who knows. And you don’t see these anti-vaxxers moving to India to relish an environment of no face masks or vaccine shaming.

In India, only about two percent of the nation has been vaccinated. Its President, Nerandra Modi, is presenting a smiling face of denial about the pandemic while his nation has entered a second phase. In fact, the pandemic has not affected his proclivity for hugging.

Each day since April 22, India has recorded more than 300,000 new cases. On most days, India is recording more new cases than half the world, which Modi and Donald Trump probably both believe is flat. New Delhi, the capital, is now running out of wood for cremations and hospitals are full and lacking oxygen. Modi’s government is rejecting responsibility for failing to recognize that new variants were coming, and is blaming India’s state governments. Where have we heard that one before?

As our first relief checks had Trump’s signature, a vaccine passport in India has Modi’s face. These cretins want credit for the good stuff but none for the bad. We should be calling the coronavirus the “Trump Virus” in the United States, and in India, it should be the “Modi Virus.”

In India, the rate of vaccinations declined as the nation believed it was out of the woods. Over 300 million of India’s population are illiterate while the Trump cultist population of the United States is willfully ignorant. India had the vaccines. They exported over 66 billion to help other nations. Now, they need vaccines to be imported.

We can not ignore the pandemic. We can’t afford to politicize this. We can’t afford not to get vaccinated. We can’t afford to let our guards down. And, we can’t afford to sit at the bars.

Speaking of, I decided to sit at the bar as there was no one else here other than a couple of goobers at the gambling machines. Shortly after starting this column, the bar filled up and I was surrounded by mask-less bikers who were ignoring the six-foot rule. I am still not comfortable with that. I don’t believe we can be comfortable with that. I left the bar for a corner table far away from everyone, but they keep getting closer. I haven’t even ordered food yet but I may have to bail.

We can’t afford to let our guard down but when this pandemic is over and we can finally sit close to each other, I’m still going to want most of you fuckers to stay the fuck away from me.

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Rikki Tikki Hamberder


How did India get a visit from an American president that wasn’t just another stop on a multi-nation diplomatic journey? Pandering. That’s how you get recognition from an American president.

Saudi Arabia threw Trump a sword dance. China showed him the Forbidden City and told him he was the first president to ever visit. The president of Afghanistan proclaimed that Trump’s killing of al-Baghdadi was a bigger deal than Obama’s killing of Osama bin Laden. Israel named an occupied settlement after him (which means a lot of Klan babies are sharing a name with a Jewish settlement). Kim Jong Un sent him a “love letter.” And Vladimir Putin gave him the American presidency.

Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi literally threw Donald Trump a Trump rally. Not just any Trump rally, but a Namaste Trump rally (which means “welcome”). It was also the first Trump rally where brown people outnumbered white people. It was held in the world’s largest cricket stadium and attended by over 100,000 people which is usually just the number Donald Trump makes up for his rallies (he’s already said this would be 6 to 7 million people). Unfortunately for Donald Trump, it was still a smaller crowd than Obama’s inauguration.

Trump also visited the Taj Mahal, which unlike his Atlantic City Taj Mahal casino, wasn’t financed by someone’s daddy and hasn’t been bankrupted by a man stupid enough to bankrupt casinos.

Trump actually has a high approval rating in India as does Modi. It figures as both men are Islamophobes and nationalists. Both men had high praise for each other with Trump calling Modi the “father of India.” Mahatma Gandhi who?

What’s most amazing to me is that Prime Minister Modi will shuffle 100,000 people into a packed stadium in the Indian heat to sing Trump’s praises, but he has no intention of serving the man a cheeseburger.

Cows are revered in India and the nation has the largest population of vegetarians in the world. Modi is a vegetarian and plans to serve Donald Trump nothing but vegetables. It’s been said by friends of Trump that they’ve never seen him eat a vegetable unless you count french fries from McDonald’s.

Donald Trump isn’t just a meat-eater. He’s a crap meat-eater. We’re not talking about a diet of baked chicken. We’re talking Big Macs, Quarter Pounders with cheese, meatloaf, burnt steaks with ketchup, hot dogs (it’s been said that every meal for Donald Trump is like an eight-year-old’s birthday party), and when he does eat chicken it’s KFC. If Trump’s going to eat McDonald’s during his trip, he better had smuggled it in as even the McDonald’s in that nation don’t serve cheeseburgers. That just makes me wonder, why do they even have McDonald’s? Is there an Arby’s in India (We don’t got the meats!)? Instead of burger burgers at Indian McDonald’s, they serve fried paneer cheese sandwiches and something called a “Pizza McPuff” which has crap like carrots, beans, and peas on it. That’s not a pizza goddammit. Let’s hope Modi doesn’t put a McPuff in front of Trump or there might be a McMeltdown followed by a McTantrum. Let’s hope there’s LOTS of ketchup.

I like Indian food. But I once went on a date in Richmond with a girl of Indian heritage and who took me to an Indian restaurant where she ordered something I really didn’t like (I usually go for curry). So later, I did what Donald Trump’s probably going to do as soon as he gets back from his trip. I stopped at McDonald’s on the way home and got a Big Mac. And it was the most delicious Big Mac I ever had.

But, I like a lot of food. In addition to unhealthy fast food, I like your typical Italian, Chinese, and Mexican (which most of it has been Americanized). But I also love stuff that scares a lot of Americans, like Thai, Vietnamese, sushi, and Indian food. But then again, I’m from Louisiana where we eat crawfish tails and suck their brains (but I still can’t eat a chicken McNugget). Where I would probably have a great time in India, Trump will probably be miserable.

But, I hope he opens his mind and gives everything placed before him a chance. The flavors of Indian food are delicious. It can also be spicy in addition to…well, let’s say…it can clear you out. As a friend of mine who is world-traveled described it, you get Delhi Belly. So, I really hope Donald Trump tries everything. The only side effect will probably be more tweets than usual. What else is he going to do while sitting there?

CNN did a fun story on Donald Trump’s visit to India that provided a lot of details on the food situation among other things. Fox News went after CNN on this for being petty. Oddly enough, the CNN story was more informative on Trump’s trip than the Fox News story criticizing it. As for being petty, Fox News is the same network that had a major freakout over Obama putting Dijon mustard on a burger. Fox News should hire someone to watch Fox News.

While Donald Trump may love his nationalistic, Islamophobic Indian friend Narendra Modi, he’s displayed his racism of Native Americans for the entire world to see. Also, since Trump considers African nations to be “shithole” countries, I wonder if he’s aware that only about 70% of Indian homes have access to toilets. India is a nation in serious need of literal shitholes.

India is a nation overwhelmed with feces. And now, they have Donald Trump. Did they notice?

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