Hollywood

Donuts and Ammo

Cjones11012021

Gun nuts are eager to prove to everyone else what experts they are with guns and gun safety. In doing so, they often demonstrate just how ignorant they are about everything else, like how a film is made.

As soon as the tragedy on the set of the film Rust was reported, conservatives and everyone else horny for guns was all over Alec Baldwin, calling for him to be charged with murder. Not only do they not understand how filming works, but they also don’t understand how the law works.

This was a tragedy that injured writer/director Joel Suza and killed cinematographer Haylna Hutchins. This is not murder. Is it possible criminal charges are forthcoming? Yes, but for whom?

It’s the assistant director’s job to ensure a safe working environment on a film set. In this case, the assistant director, Dave Halls, handed Baldwin the gun and told him it was safe. Weapons on film sets are managed by the armorer. Hannah Gutierrez-Reed, the armorer for Rust, had just prepared the guns on a cart, which is where Hall picked up the loaded gun and gave it to Baldwin. This was not a prop gun, but a real one.

There are all sorts of messed-up details in this story, such as warnings about an unsafe set, people turning down job offers because of the dangers, crew members walking off before the tragedy, and crew members engaging in target practice with the guns being used in the movie. Live bullets being put into a gun that will later be used in the movie by amateurs is a very dangerous working environment.

Perhaps the biggest question is: Why was there live ammunition on a movie set?

I’ve heard a lot of people say we should ban real working and functional guns from film sets. I’ve heard gun fuckers say this. How about we do this…and ban guns from all places of business? The Constitution gives you the right to own a gun, but it doesn’t say anything about you toting it around like it’s an extension of yourself. There’s nothing in the Constitution that allows you to carry a semi-automatic rifle into Krispy Kreme.

Republicans are after Baldwin just because they don’t like him. Baldwin spent four years doing an excellent job of portraying Donald Trump on Saturday Night Live and Trumpers are still butt-hurt over it. But as I wrote in a previous blog, your dislike for someone doesn’t convict them of murder. Your political bias is a total and complete non-factor in this issue.

Alec Baldwin didn’t intend to shoot anyone. You can argue he should have checked the gun, even after being told it was safe…but the failure to do so still doesn’t make him a killer. While these same gun humpers argue for Alec Baldwin to be charged with murder, they’re simultaneously defending Kyle Rittenhouse who shot three people, killing two, with a semi-automatic rifle he wasn’t old enough to legally own or transport across a state line, which he did intentionally to shoot at black people. Rittenhouse shot three people, killing two of them.

These same people calling for Alec Baldwin to go to prison also call a Capitol Police officer a “murderer” for shooting Ashli Babbitt, a terrorist who broke into the United States Capitol building and was storming into the office of the Speaker of the House with a violent mob of white nationalist MAGAts when she was shot, but defend George Zimmerman for shooting Trayvon Martin, a black teenager, for walking while black in a hoodie and armed with Skittles.

I think what I’m trying to say to these people, in the most eloquent terms I can think of “fuck off, you whiny hypocritical rat bastard racist babies.” Can you get guns with nipples on them?

You don’t care about the victim. You champion racist murderers and terrorists. All you care about is vengeance against people who never actually violated you. You want to string up Dr. Anthony Fauci because his efforts to save this nation contradict Donald Trump’s lies. But you don’t have anything so you make shit up, like torturing beagles and gain-of-function in bats. You don’t like that racist parents can be criminally charged for threatening school boards over vaccine/facemask mandates and teaching critical race theory which isn’t being taught, so you go after the Attorney General for doing his job. And again, you have to make shit up. You scream that these parents are just “concerned” and expressing their views, but you leave out the parts about intimidation and death threats. Now, you’re after Alec Baldwin because you see an opportunity.

Being as vile and inhumane as possible isn’t just a part of being a Republican anymore. It’s the point. This is revenge for you, not justice.

Alec Baldwin will suffer from post-traumatic stress syndrome from this for the rest of his life. If there are criminal charges for negligence, then so be it. But he’s not going to prison or the gallows because he impersonated Donald Trump and made him look ridiculous. If we’re going to send people to prison for making Donald Trump look like a moron then let’s send Donald Trump because nobody made him look stupid more than he did it to himself.

As for making Trump supporters look like racist morons, well that’s on them too. I mean, nobody forced Ted Cruz to defend Nazis yesterday.

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Hollywood Kap Attack

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Every morning while I’m drawing, I take a break to check out some of my colleagues’ work at GoComics and the AAEC’s site. Partly, because I want to make sure nobody scooped me with the idea I’m working on and, because I’m also a fan.

While looking one night/morning a few days ago, I spotted a cartoon by a conservative on being outraged about Hollywood doing a movie about the first moon landing and not showing the planting of the American flag. Then, I saw another cartoon on it, and then another. My first thought was, “what?” The next day, I saw two more.

I am usually aware of every serious news issue before most people but I hadn’t heard of this. But, it’s not uncommon for me to see a cartoon by one of my conservative colleagues that doesn’t make any sense to me. Still, I Googled and there it was. A new movie is about to come out, or it’s already out, called First Man and it excludes the planting of the flag, though it does show the flag later flapping on the moon (do they flap on the moon?).

Did the right-wing blogosphere issue a memo or talking points to get upset over this? Was this all the rage at InfoWars, the Daily Stormer, and 4chan? How do they have the energy to be upset over this at the same time they’re burning their Nikes while calling liberals “snowflakes?” I do envy the conservatives’ ability to multitask.

Yes, conservatives are still upset over Nike running a new ad with Colin Kaepernick. Some of them wanting to send the message that they’ll never support Nike, rushed out to buy a pair, so they could post photos online of them burning the expensive shoes. A few conservatives, figuring out that “Nike” starts with an “N,” bought New Balance shoes, because their logo is a great big “N,” and posted photos of those being burned. Republicans always get in trouble with words that start with “N.”

Speaking of Republicans who have trouble with words…and logic, Trump made a statement about the film. He said, “It’s unfortunate. It’s almost like they’re embarrassed at the achievement coming from America, I think it’s a terrible thing. When you think of Neil Armstrong and when you think of the landing on the moon, you think about the American flag. For that reason, I wouldn’t even want to watch the movie.” This means he’s criticizing the film without seeing it, which I’m sure the majority of other conservatives bashing it haven’t either. And, sure. They’re so embarrassed at one of the greatest American achievements that they made an entire big-budget picture about it. I’m less deterred from seeing this film over the flag flap and more so because Ryan Gosling is in it.

The family of Neil Armstrong, who the movie is actually about, issued a statement saying, “We do not feel this movie is anti-American in the slightest. Quite the opposite. But don’t take our word for it. We’d encourage everyone to go see this remarkable film and see for themselves.” So, maybe go see the movie before you get your butt in a bunch over it. Does that make sense that you should know what you’re talking about before you talk about it? But, to be fair, I’m pretty sure I hate La La Land and I haven’t seen it.

Because of this newest faux outrage by Republicans, a film about one of America’s greatest achievements will have fewer white conservatives in the theaters than BlacKkKlansman (which was excellent).

So, if you do go to see the film, it will probably be safe to wear your Nikes.

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A Star Is Scorned

Donald Trump is a horrible person who nobody likes except racists and people OK with racists.

As a reminder that Donald Trump was a celebrity contributing nothing meaningful to society before he was a politician contributing nothing meaningful to society, he has a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

A testament to the public’s animosity toward Trump has been expressed on his star (which he paid $30,000 to have installed, which probably came from the Trump Foundation). Some people kick and spit on it, dogs have been allowed to relieve themselves on it, stickers have been placed on it, someone built a tiny wall around it, and it’s been spray painted, once with a Swastika (though to be fair, that may have been a supporter). Most recently, a man, described by a witness as “going to town on it,” destroyed it with a pickax. That individual has been charged, released on a $20,000 bail, and faces up to three years in prison. With charges like that you’d think he was a member of the Trump Campaign.

The city of West Hollywood decided that having a star for Trump was a bad idea and voted unanimously in a non-binding resolution to have it removed. It’s non-binding because they don’t have jurisdiction over the star. That belongs to the Hollywood Chamber of Commerce.

The Chamber released a statement that they have no plans to remove Trump’s star and that once a star is added it’s considered a part of the “historic fabric of the Hollywood Walk of Fame.” I suggest some people walk their dogs by the Hollywood Chamber of Commerce and show them how they feel about this.

Mark Hamill has a great idea. He suggests replacing the president with a princess. Princess Leia that is, as Carrie Fisher doesn’t have a star on the Walk of Fame. What? How can this be? This can’t be allowed to continue. She should have had a star light years ago, and having hers replace Trump’s would be galactic justice.

As her friend and writer Paul Slansky said, she would have loved being the face of The Resistance.

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Bad Behavior Defense

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Hollywood mogul Harvey Weinstein did not get the Hollywood red-carpet treatment when he entered a New York City courthouse to face charges of raping one woman and forcing another to perform oral sex. Instead, he entered wearing handcuffs. Three pairs in fact, because he’s kind of a big guy.

It was being a big guy that allowed Weinstein to get away with harassing, assaulting, and intimidating women for decades. Decades of using his wealth and power to force women to submit to him, and destroyed the careers of those who wouldn’t. He’d often coerce or buy silence, and even employed an Israeli security firm to collect information on his accusers. Over 90 women have accused him of harassment and assault. While a few of his accusers are famous, many are not, and maybe it’s because of Weinstein why they’re not.

But it was the famous that finally brought the accusations out from being just rumors and whispers in Hollywood, to public exposure, to eventual criminal charges. It spawned the #MeToo movement which has brought to light harassment and assaults from other famous men.

Other famous men like Bill Cosby, who will now be going to prison. I’m sure Weinstein has Cosby in mind as he prepares his defense.

Weinstein is out on $1 million bail and has been extended the luxury of traveling between his homes in New York City and Connecticut, although with an ankle monitoring bracelet. He’s also surrendered his passport, so he won’t be able to flee the country.

Weinstein may not ever see the inside of a prison, even if all the criminal accusations are true. His legal team is preparing a defense admitting his bad behavior, which they say is not criminal or on trial. Will it work? Ask Donald Trump.

This is a nation that disregarded numerous horrible traits of Trump while putting him in the White House. Trump has been accused by nearly 20 women and has bought the silence of others. The number of those paid off is only known by Trump and his lawyer/fixer, Michael Cohen. Weinstein’s lawyers will be seeking people to put on a jury who will disregard bad behavior.

Perhaps his lawyer’s first question to potential jurors will be, “did you vote for Donald Trump?”

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Wacky Louis

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If Louis CK’s career falls down so far that he must take a part in Daddy’s Home 3, that’ll be a second thing he does nobody wants to see.

Like me, you probably haven’t and don’t plan on seeing Daddy’s Home or Daddy’s Home 2. But, I know you saw Fast Times at Ridgemont High. The scene with Phoebe Cates and Judge Reinhold (who is from Fredericksburg, VA) is the worst nightmare for a normal guy. No, not the scene where Phoebe takes her bikini top off (don’t be stupid). The part where she walks in on Judge in the bathroom while he’s fantasizing about her. For reasons I don’t get, Louis wanted women to see him do that.

I understand it from what I read, and apparently, it’s a power trip for some and self-humiliation for others. I can believe it’s humiliation for his victims.

Unlike Harvey Weinstein, Bill Cosby, Kevin Spacey, Roy Moore, or Donald Trump…Louis has come clean and admitted the accusations are true. I mean, he was finally honest after lying and denying it for several years.

Louis released a lengthy statement to The New York Times, and he states, “these stories are true.” He writes about his guilt, remorse, and the anguish he’s caused to others (victims, family, business associates, etc), and comes off as very sincere. Louis is one of the most self-deprecating comedians in the business and his confession has received praise for his honesty. It’s very well-written, he takes responsibility and accepts culpability for the harm he’s caused to others, but if you’re like me, you may need someone else to point out that the statement doesn’t include an actual apology.

It has also been pointed out that he’s sorry now after he’s lost a distribution deal for his movie (ironically, titled “I Love You, Daddy”), a forthcoming stand-up special with Netflix, and his content was removed from HBO streaming services. He says he “will now step back and take a long time to listen,” which is good because now he’s going to have a lot of free time on his hands (no pun intended). Perhaps, he wants to apologize to the victims in person. Just hope he doesn’t want to do it in a hotel room.

I love Louis C.K.’s work. I think he is one of the funniest people on the planet. His show on FX, which won’t be seen anymore, is a low-budget masterpiece. I have been disappointed by people I’ve admired before and now Louis is added to the list. He is always the guy who seems to understand what others don’t, and that makes this even more tragic.

When you hear Charlie Sheen snorted up a mountain of cocaine in a Vegas hotel room with 15 hookers, you’re not surprised. Of course, he did that. And, then he’s given the highest contract in television history, and that was AFTER he was exposed for beating his wife. Like Donald Trump, disgusting revelations don’t hurt him.

When you hear Trump had a couple of Russian hookers in a Moscow hotel room, it’s believable. When you hear the Russians offered to send five prostitutes to Trump’s hotel room, you don’t believe that. Five? Trump gets winded walking the stairs. I can believe there was hooker plural, as in two. But, even after the Access Hollywood tape, he is still elected president.

When Mel Gibson has a drunk anti-Semitic rant, you’re disappointed but not really that surprised. I mean, The Passion of the Christ implied Jews were the villains. Before his transgression, Gibson produced big budget films like Braveheart (who knew Scots spoke with very bad Scottish accents?) and The Patriot, which educated us that the British burned down churches full of American colonists (they didn’t). Gibson has slowly climbed since his drunken rant against Jews to a Jewish cop in 2006. He produced Hacksaw Ridge, which I haven’t seen but I hear good things. Today, the man who once said (in 2002 after the movie Signs was released) he “no longer wants to be a movie star and would only act in film again if the script were truly extraordinary,” is now in Daddy’s Home 2. I’m going out on a limb and speculate that script is not “truly extraordinary,” but maybe it’s loaded with Jewish jokes. I don’t hate Will Ferrell, but with the exceptions of Talladega Nights, Elf, Step Brothers, and Stranger Than Fiction, I do hate the bulk of his movies (mostly because I know he can do better).

Then, you have people like Charlie Sheen who can apparently do anything they want and still find work. Woody Allen is still making movies despite dating his ex-wife’s adopted daughter.

But normally, people give up on who they admired after major and disgusting transgressions are revealed, especially the kind that have hurt other people. Except for conservatives. They don’t give up. They find a liberal to bash as a form of deflection or compare their conservative hero to Jesus.

I’m going to hold out hope for Louis because he’s been honest in the past. I hope he expands on his “apology” and he makes it OK to support him in the future. He has an important voice and I hate to see him destroy it.

But, if he can never work in this town again, which means no more movies, no more standup specials, no more TV shows, well then maybe he can be a Republican senator.

It’s not like he’s a pedophile or anything.

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Baby Driver

cjones11112017

When I heard the latest revelation of Oscar-winning actor Kevin Spacey sexually assaulting a young man, I believed it.

Last month, actor Anthony Rapp accused Spacey of sexually assaulting him in 1986 when Rapp was 14. Spacey said he didn’t remember the incident but didn’t deny it and said he owed Rapp an apology. He also used the revelation to out himself as gay. Usually, when someone famous comes out of the closet they are celebrated for their bravery. In Spacey’s case, it comes off more like a defense and a deflection. There’s nothing straight or gay about sexually assaulting minors. In this case, it’s pedophilia.

There have been 13 more allegations against Spacey, including accusations from filmmaker Tony Montana, actor Robert Cavazos, Richard Dreyfus’ son Harry, and eight people who worked on House Of Cards. The British newspaper, The Guardian, claims they have been approached by a “number of people” who worked at the Old Vic, where Spacey was artistic director for 11 years and where he’s alleged to have groped and behaved inappropriately during that time.

In response to the accusations, Netflix canceled House Of Cards and Spacey’s scenes in the upcoming film All the Money in the World have been reshot with Christopher Plummer.

It’s been fairly pointed out how accusations by women toward Harvey Weinstein and Bill Cosby weren’t believed for 30 years, but one accusation from a male about another male gets a hit television show canceled immediately. In a very stark contrast, That 70s Show actor Danny Masterson has been accused by four women of rape, yet Netflix has not canceled the show he’s on. Maybe because no one is aware he’s currently doing a show on Netflix. Interestingly enough, Masterson used to DJ under the name DJ Donkey Punch. Nice.

The newest accusation toward Spacey comes from journalist Heather Unruh, who claims Spacey groped her then-18-year-old son in Nantucket in July 2016, which sounds like the basis for a vulgar limerick. Unruh says her son was starstruck to meet Spacey at the restaurant/bar where he worked, and that he lied to Spacey about his age so he could drink, and Spacey proceeded to liquor the kid up. Unruh further states that Spacey groped her son, and while Spacey went to the restroom a very nice person told the boy to run, which he did and reported the incident to a few people, but not the police. The only part of the story I find questionable is, why did the bar allow Spacey to give the underage person alcohol? Surely, they would have known he wasn’t 21 yet. The rest of it sounds familiar to me, which is why I believe it.

While it didn’t involve any celebrities, I had a similar incident when I was 16. When I hear about the fear and embarrassment, I can relate. I was so afraid, I left a second-story apartment without using the stairs and out of embarrassment, I didn’t tell anyone about it for decades. I kinda felt like it was my fault for putting myself into the situation, and being 1982, I wrongly thought it was a gay thing. Also, the details from Spacey’s accusers mirror the strategy I experienced. I’m sure when women, who face much harsher incidents than I had to endure, hear other women’s details they too spot the same strategies used by attackers.

We need to listen to the accusers, no matter how talented the accused may be, or rich, or what elected office he holds.

Creative note: I was hesitant about writing about being assaulted. I wrote more details, then I cut them out. I felt they weren’t needed and I’m still kind of chicken about it. Don’t worry though. I wasn’t hurt and was more scared than anything. I wanted to write this note in case anyone was concerned.

I’m not a fan of using movie titles for analogies in my cartoons, but I couldn’t resist when I thought of this idea. Despite how horrible of a person he is, Baby Driver is a unique movie. Everything director Edgar Wright makes is kinda weird and awesome, like Shaun Of The Dead, Hot Fuzz, and Scott Pilgrim Versus the World. A lot of people don’t get them. People who like my cartoons would probably appreciate those films.

Me Too

cjones10172017

If you’re a man and you don’t understand what I’m talking about with this cartoon, stop and think about it.

There were several things I was going to discuss in today’s column, but I’ve reconsidered. Today, I’m gonna leave you hanging and let the dudes among you figure it for themselves. And, I’m not talking about the cartoon.

White Oscars

I don’t know who would be offended more with this comparison. Liberal Hollywood or Republicans. Republican friends of mine attempt to claim that their party attracts blacks. They’ll point out a black candidate as if that’s an indication. It’s kinda like the Green Bay Packers. Just because there are black guys playing on the team doesn’t mean there’s any in the stands at Lambeau Field. If there’s one African American attending a GOP event, the camera will zoom in on them repeatedly.

I really don’t care that much about the Academy Awards. I never watch though I will root for someone. Usually I hope someone who’s never been recognized will win a statue, even if I haven’t seen the movie they’re nominated for. Last year I was rooting for Michael Keaton for best actor for his part in Birdman, though I hadn’t seen the movie yet. He didn’t win and I eventually saw the movie and he was excellent.

I have no idea who to root for this year as I can’t remember who’s been nominated and I don’t care enough right now to Google it. I do know Leo Dicaprio has been nominated again, this time for that movie where he wrestles a bear. I don’t care even though I’d probably root for the bear in that fight.

Though I don’t care about which individual wins an award, especially the Grammys (that’s just a glorified popularity contest that once gave the heavy metal Grammy to Jethro Tull, a flute blowing folkish band), I do care about exclusion. While individuals don’t have a right to be upset when they’re not nominated, or they don’t win (they can be disappointed), everyone should be angry when recognition eludes an entire race that has actually made an impact in the industry that’s serving out the awards. This is the second year in a row where they have failed to nominate one black actor. That’s 20 nominations (I just looked that up), 40 if you add both years. This “academy” gave one of their awards to Matthew McConaughey. While I did not see the movie he won the award for (because Matthew McConaughey was in it) I do know who he is and that he is the suck of all sucks. If they could give one to that ass clown then couldn’t they find one black actor worthy of a nomination?

I won’t be watching the Oscars this year. Is it boycotting since I never watch the Oscars?

I had this concept for a cartoon several days ago. I mention when I think I’m the first one to cover a subject. With this one I might be the last.

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claytoonz

Nationally Syndicated Editorial Cartoonist