Hollywood

Wacky Louis


cjones11132017

If Louis CK’s career falls down so far that he must take a part in Daddy’s Home 3, that’ll be a second thing he does nobody wants to see.

Like me, you probably haven’t and don’t plan on seeing Daddy’s Home or Daddy’s Home 2. But, I know you saw Fast Times at Ridgemont High. The scene with Phoebe Cates and Judge Reinhold (who is from Fredericksburg, VA) is the worst nightmare for a normal guy. No, not the scene where Phoebe takes her bikini top off (don’t be stupid). The part where she walks in on Judge in the bathroom while he’s fantasizing about her. For reasons I don’t get, Louis wanted women to see him do that.

I understand it from what I read, and apparently, it’s a power trip for some and self-humiliation for others. I can believe it’s humiliation for his victims.

Unlike Harvey Weinstein, Bill Cosby, Kevin Spacey, Roy Moore, or Donald Trump…Louis has come clean and admitted the accusations are true. I mean, he was finally honest after lying and denying it for several years.

Louis released a lengthy statement to The New York Times, and he states, “these stories are true.” He writes about his guilt, remorse, and the anguish he’s caused to others (victims, family, business associates, etc), and comes off as very sincere. Louis is one of the most self-deprecating comedians in the business and his confession has received praise for his honesty. It’s very well-written, he takes responsibility and accepts culpability for the harm he’s caused to others, but if you’re like me, you may need someone else to point out that the statement doesn’t include an actual apology.

It has also been pointed out that he’s sorry now after he’s lost a distribution deal for his movie (ironically, titled “I Love You, Daddy”), a forthcoming stand-up special with Netflix, and his content was removed from HBO streaming services. He says he “will now step back and take a long time to listen,” which is good because now he’s going to have a lot of free time on his hands (no pun intended). Perhaps, he wants to apologize to the victims in person. Just hope he doesn’t want to do it in a hotel room.

I love Louis C.K.’s work. I think he is one of the funniest people on the planet. His show on FX, which won’t be seen anymore, is a low-budget masterpiece. I have been disappointed by people I’ve admired before and now Louis is added to the list. He is always the guy who seems to understand what others don’t, and that makes this even more tragic.

When you hear Charlie Sheen snorted up a mountain of cocaine in a Vegas hotel room with 15 hookers, you’re not surprised. Of course, he did that. And, then he’s given the highest contract in television history, and that was AFTER he was exposed for beating his wife. Like Donald Trump, disgusting revelations don’t hurt him.

When you hear Trump had a couple of Russian hookers in a Moscow hotel room, it’s believable. When you hear the Russians offered to send five prostitutes to Trump’s hotel room, you don’t believe that. Five? Trump gets winded walking the stairs. I can believe there was hooker plural, as in two. But, even after the Access Hollywood tape, he is still elected president.

When Mel Gibson has a drunk anti-Semitic rant, you’re disappointed but not really that surprised. I mean, The Passion of the Christ implied Jews were the villains. Before his transgression, Gibson produced big budget films like Braveheart (who knew Scots spoke with very bad Scottish accents?) and The Patriot, which educated us that the British burned down churches full of American colonists (they didn’t). Gibson has slowly climbed since his drunken rant against Jews to a Jewish cop in 2006. He produced Hacksaw Ridge, which I haven’t seen but I hear good things. Today, the man who once said (in 2002 after the movie Signs was released) he “no longer wants to be a movie star and would only act in film again if the script were truly extraordinary,” is now in Daddy’s Home 2. I’m going out on a limb and speculate that script is not “truly extraordinary,” but maybe it’s loaded with Jewish jokes. I don’t hate Will Ferrell, but with the exceptions of Talladega Nights, Elf, Step Brothers, and Stranger Than Fiction, I do hate the bulk of his movies (mostly because I know he can do better).

Then, you have people like Charlie Sheen who can apparently do anything they want and still find work. Woody Allen is still making movies despite dating his ex-wife’s adopted daughter.

But normally, people give up on who they admired after major and disgusting transgressions are revealed, especially the kind that have hurt other people. Except for conservatives. They don’t give up. They find a liberal to bash as a form of deflection or compare their conservative hero to Jesus.

I’m going to hold out hope for Louis because he’s been honest in the past. I hope he expands on his “apology” and he makes it OK to support him in the future. He has an important voice and I hate to see him destroy it.

But, if he can never work in this town again, which means no more movies, no more standup specials, no more TV shows, well then maybe he can be a Republican senator.

It’s not like he’s a pedophile or anything.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

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Baby Driver


cjones11112017

When I heard the latest revelation of Oscar-winning actor Kevin Spacey sexually assaulting a young man, I believed it.

Last month, actor Anthony Rapp accused Spacey of sexually assaulting him in 1986 when Rapp was 14. Spacey said he didn’t remember the incident but didn’t deny it and said he owed Rapp an apology. He also used the revelation to out himself as gay. Usually, when someone famous comes out of the closet they are celebrated for their bravery. In Spacey’s case, it comes off more like a defense and a deflection. There’s nothing straight or gay about sexually assaulting minors. In this case, it’s pedophilia.

There have been 13 more allegations against Spacey, including accusations from filmmaker Tony Montana, actor Robert Cavazos, Richard Dreyfus’ son Harry, and eight people who worked on House Of Cards. The British newspaper, The Guardian, claims they have been approached by a “number of people” who worked at the Old Vic, where Spacey was artistic director for 11 years and where he’s alleged to have groped and behaved inappropriately during that time.

In response to the accusations, Netflix canceled House Of Cards and Spacey’s scenes in the upcoming film All the Money in the World have been reshot with Christopher Plummer.

It’s been fairly pointed out how accusations by women toward Harvey Weinstein and Bill Cosby weren’t believed for 30 years, but one accusation from a male about another male gets a hit television show canceled immediately. In a very stark contrast, That 70s Show actor Danny Masterson has been accused by four women of rape, yet Netflix has not canceled the show he’s on. Maybe because no one is aware he’s currently doing a show on Netflix. Interestingly enough, Masterson used to DJ under the name DJ Donkey Punch. Nice.

The newest accusation toward Spacey comes from journalist Heather Unruh, who claims Spacey groped her then-18-year-old son in Nantucket in July 2016, which sounds like the basis for a vulgar limerick. Unruh says her son was starstruck to meet Spacey at the restaurant/bar where he worked, and that he lied to Spacey about his age so he could drink, and Spacey proceeded to liquor the kid up. Unruh further states that Spacey groped her son, and while Spacey went to the restroom a very nice person told the boy to run, which he did and reported the incident to a few people, but not the police. The only part of the story I find questionable is, why did the bar allow Spacey to give the underage person alcohol? Surely, they would have known he wasn’t 21 yet. The rest of it sounds familiar to me, which is why I believe it.

While it didn’t involve any celebrities, I had a similar incident when I was 16. When I hear about the fear and embarrassment, I can relate. I was so afraid, I left a second-story apartment without using the stairs and out of embarrassment, I didn’t tell anyone about it for decades. I kinda felt like it was my fault for putting myself into the situation, and being 1982, I wrongly thought it was a gay thing. Also, the details from Spacey’s accusers mirror the strategy I experienced. I’m sure when women, who face much harsher incidents than I had to endure, hear other women’s details they too spot the same strategies used by attackers.

We need to listen to the accusers, no matter how talented the accused may be, or rich, or what elected office he holds.

Creative note: I was hesitant about writing about being assaulted. I wrote more details, then I cut them out. I felt they weren’t needed and I’m still kind of chicken about it. Don’t worry though. I wasn’t hurt and was more scared than anything. I wanted to write this note in case anyone was concerned.

I’m not a fan of using movie titles for analogies in my cartoons, but I couldn’t resist when I thought of this idea. Despite how horrible of a person he is, Baby Driver is a unique movie. Everything director Edgar Wright makes is kinda weird and awesome, like Shaun Of The Dead, Hot Fuzz, and Scott Pilgrim Versus the World. A lot of people don’t get them. People who like my cartoons would probably appreciate those films.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Me Too


cjones10172017

If you’re a man and you don’t understand what I’m talking about with this cartoon, stop and think about it.

There were several things I was going to discuss in today’s column, but I’ve reconsidered. Today, I’m gonna leave you hanging and let the dudes among you figure it for themselves. And, I’m not talking about the cartoon.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

White Oscars


cjones01252016

I don’t know who would be offended more with this comparison. Liberal Hollywood or Republicans. Republican friends of mine attempt to claim that their party attracts blacks. They’ll point out a black candidate as if that’s an indication. It’s kinda like the Green Bay Packers. Just because there are black guys playing on the team doesn’t mean there’s any in the stands at Lambeau Field. If there’s one African American attending a GOP event, the camera will zoom in on them repeatedly.

I really don’t care that much about the Academy Awards. I never watch though I will root for someone. Usually I hope someone who’s never been recognized will win a statue, even if I haven’t seen the movie they’re nominated for. Last year I was rooting for Michael Keaton for best actor for his part in Birdman, though I hadn’t seen the movie yet. He didn’t win and I eventually saw the movie and he was excellent.

I have no idea who to root for this year as I can’t remember who’s been nominated and I don’t care enough right now to Google it. I do know Leo Dicaprio has been nominated again, this time for that movie where he wrestles a bear. I don’t care even though I’d probably root for the bear in that fight.

Though I don’t care about which individual wins an award, especially the Grammys (that’s just a glorified popularity contest that once gave the heavy metal Grammy to Jethro Tull, a flute blowing folkish band), I do care about exclusion. While individuals don’t have a right to be upset when they’re not nominated, or they don’t win (they can be disappointed), everyone should be angry when recognition eludes an entire race that has actually made an impact in the industry that’s serving out the awards. This is the second year in a row where they have failed to nominate one black actor. That’s 20 nominations (I just looked that up), 40 if you add both years. This “academy” gave one of their awards to Matthew McConaughey. While I did not see the movie he won the award for (because Matthew McConaughey was in it) I do know who he is and that he is the suck of all sucks. If they could give one to that ass clown then couldn’t they find one black actor worthy of a nomination?

I won’t be watching the Oscars this year. Is it boycotting since I never watch the Oscars?

I had this concept for a cartoon several days ago. I mention when I think I’m the first one to cover a subject. With this one I might be the last.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!