Gary Johnson

Up In Smoke


First, let me start this with the news update that Tommy Chong is not dead. Mr. Chong has recently been included among celebrities who are victims of death hoaxes that have gone viral. Tommy is still kickin’….man.

Yesterday I published a cartoon and column on newspaper endorsements. I’m going to write about them again.

While Donald Trump can’t pick up an endorsement from any significant newspapers, Gary Johnson has six. Those are the The Caledonian-Record (Vermont), the Chicago Tribune, The Detroit News, the Richmond Times-Dispatch, the Winston-Salem Journal, and the New Hampshire Union Leader.

I was watching an interview Saturday morning on CNN with editors from The Dallas Morning News, The Arizona Republic, and The Detroit News. One of the editors said their endorsements are for the candidate that best fits the principles of the newspaper. That’s probably the best description I’ve ever heard for newspaper endorsements. The thing that’s scary is, Gary Johnson bets fits your publication’s principles?

While USA Today published their first presidential endorsement in their entire history, which was a non endorsement for Trump, they wrote that they couldn’t get a consensus among their board members to endorse Hillary Clinton. That’s understandable so it’s kinda alarming that the six newspapers endorsing Johnson has a consensus among their board members for the candidate who wags his tongue at reporters, doesn’t know what Aleppo is, and can’t name a single foreign leader he admires. Really?

I don’t know what’s up with those editors but a lot of millennials are supporting Johnson for his stand on legalizing marijuana. I hope the editors of The Chicago Tribune aren’t toking up while ignoring the rest of Johnson’s positions, but that seems to be what his young supporters are doing.

While I also support legalizing weed (and ending the war on drugs) there are more important issues to consider when voting for president, like should the candidate be in an insane asylum and kept away from sharp objects?

I was perusing the list of celebrities who have endorsed Gary Johnson and while he has a lot of professional wrestlers, athletes, and Larry the Cable Guy (I would have pegged him as a Trump supporter), I couldn’t find Cheech and Chong on the list. I had fun drawing the stoners though I wasn’t a huge fan. I liked some of their stuff and laughed my butt off at moments in some of their movies, but you have to admit, their movies really sucked. Still, they were extremely likable and charming characters. It’s hard to dislike them. I also like drawing Gary Johnson. It’s pretty easy to draw a live human being when they’re already a cartoon.

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Pitching To Millennials


At a forum hosted by Chris Matthews on MSNBC Wednesday night Gary Johnson got a “gotcha” question and he got got. How bad is it to be outsmarted by Chris Matthews?

Johnson, who previously impersonated a deer in headlights when asked about Aleppo, was asked to name a current foreign leader he admires. He couldn’t name one. Not because he doesn’t admire one but because he can’t name any foreign leaders. He said he liked the guy who used to run Mexico but couldn’t name him. His running mate William Weld threw him a lifeline and said Angela Merkel.

Hillary Clinton is struggling with the youth vote. Millennials overwhelmingly wanted Bernie Sanders and now many of them are throwing in with Gary Johnson. They may be feeling the Johnson right now but if Trump wins they’re not going to like where they’re feeling it.

The Libertarian platform has zero interest in Civil Rights. No plan regarding government regulations of large, unsustainable financial institutions that have nearly destroyed the economy. Anything on Global Warming or Climate Change? Nope. Libertarians are OK with abortion but their ideology dictates that employers should be able to control whether or not their employees’ insurance polices cover contraceptive healthcare. Johnson believe in Gay Rights but doesn’t think the government should protect victims of wrongful employment termination.

Libertarians are in favor of small government. They think it’s OK if you smoke weed, pay for sex, get married, or how you control your own body and the federal government should stay out of it. But they’re just fine if the state government tells you to put out the blunt, who you can’t marry, or if you can dangle your goodies for cash. That’s their vision of State’s Rights. So if a state wants to discriminate they’re fine with it as long as it’s not the federal government.

In 2010 when Arizona passed a law authorizing the discrimination of brown people Mr. Johnson argued that the federal government should stay out of it. Racism and xenophobia isn’t good on a federal level but as a state issue it rocks according to the Libertarians.

Johnson also wants to abolish income and corporate taxes. He’s against gun regulations. He opposes unions. He believes Medicare and Medicaid funds should be distributed to states as block grants. He wants to privatize social security. He also wants to abolish the department of education. He’d name more if he knew what they were.

Before Millennials were “feeling the Johson” they were “feeling the Bern.” Gary Johnson is not continuing the Bern.

Bernie Sanders attracted youth voters who support Civil Rights and believ in Black Lives Matter. His supporters are Pro Choice. They want the government to fight Climate Change. They want to regulate Wall Street. Bernie was a big proponent of raising the minimum wage, as is Hillary which most millennials also strongly support. Johnson wants to eliminate the minimum wage. Most of all the young want free college. Gary Johnson doesn’t even have a tuition plan, which kinda makes sense when you ask him a question.

Johnson doesn’t really know much. He doesn’t have any interest in foreign policy. He doesn’t know where Aleppo is, what it is, or what it’s about. He can’t name a foreign leader but he knows the guy he used to be able to name doesn’t run Mexico anymore.  Maybe it’s Santa Anna. His latest gaffe won’t make much of a difference to his supporters as they haven’t looked into his positions yet. At least Trump supporters are aware their candidate is a racist. Most Gary Johnson supporters couldn’t pick him out of a bong party.

Bernie and Gary both believe weed should be legal. But outside of that what exactly do all those millennials believe in if they’re going from Sanders to Johnson? For months they amassed in huge rallies to support Sanders and their issues and now they’re telling us they don’t have principles. Were they were faking it?

I understand the outsider thing. I understand not being crazy about either major party or Hillary Clinton. But you dislike Clinton so much, despite her supporting most of your issues, that you’ll give us an oligarchy under a President Trump? The man who wants to be America’s Saddam Hussein? With all due respect, you are all idiots.

Gary Johnson is basically a Tea Party guy with a full set of teeth and without the racism, but will turn a blind eye to it, and who supports weed. I’d also make a pitch here to Jill Stein’s supporters but they’re probably not on the internet since they believe Wi-Fi causes brain damage.

So how does Clinton get the youth vote back? How does she make them like her? Does she have to play Pokemon Go? Get a selfie stick and start posting to Intagram? Start playing EDM at her rallies (look it up. I had to)? Get one of those god-awful chest tattoos girls think are attractive? Pierce a nipple (you’re welcome)? Nope. She should Propose making weed legal.

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What Is Aleppo?


If Gary Johnson actually had any chance at the presidency, or even to poll at 15%, he blew it Thursday morning on the MSNBC program Morning Joe.

The Libertarian nominee proved that he has no interest in foreign policy and he’s not qualified for the job he’s seeking.

Aleppo is the largest city in Syria and it’s been the center of intense fighting, massive war crimes and an ongoing humanitarian crisis sending refugees, many risking their lives, to Europe and the United States.

Johnson later said he was confused and thought he was hearing an acronym. I think that’s refreshing because when Trump gets caught confused or lying, he later blames an ear monitor or the host, and eventually denies it ever happened.

Johnson tried to rebound during the interview and gave an answer that could have used some Cliff Notes assistance. Donald Trump’s answers during a national security forum Wednesday presented us with a man even more ignorant on foreign policy. While an unqualified Johnson is kinda laughable, an unqualified Trump is scary as he actually has the possibility of becoming president.

Trump again denied ever supporting the Iraq war. He pointed toward an article quoting him against the war, published a year after the war started. Lucky for Trump he was being questioned by Matt Lauer who normally gets tough with the likes of One Direction.

He believes we should have stolen oil from Iraq. He has a secret plan to deal with ISIS that he won’t tell us but after he’s elected he’ll ask the generals for a plan. Let’s hope it’s better than his previous statements on using nuclear weapons.

He blames sexual assaults in the military on men and women serving together, which is again blaming women. To deal with the issue he wants to replace the military’s court system with a military court system. One wonders what advice he’ll receive on this subject from Roger Ailes.

Trump claimed the classified briefings he’s receiving as a candidate reveal that Obama and Hillary Clinton have ignored the military’s advice. This may be the first time a candidate has used the briefings to score political points and it’s also a huge fabrication. Maybe he confused the briefing with the letter he got from the NFL, or the one from the Chicago Police.

The scariest stuff to come from Trump is his admiration and desire for a bromance with Russian president Vladimir Putin. He claims Putin is a better leader than Obama which begs the question of whose side Mr. Trump is on.

He said he didn’t approve of the Russian system but at least Putin had control of it. This should alarm everyone if Trump views leadership as having control over the entire system, like a dictator. We have three branches of government for a reason and I still want someone to ask Donald to name them.

Trump admires a man who has overseen the murder of political opponents and journalists, the rigging of elections, a global campaign of disinformation and a foreign policy whose first aim is to increase Russian influence at U.S. expense. Not to mention his interventions in Syria and land grabbing from the Ukraine. Trump tries to paint that Obama has done worse. really?

Trump claims he knows more about ISIS than the generals. He says he’ll have new generals after he’s elected but he probably doesn’t know the Extra Crispy Sanders guy in the KFC commercials is only a colonel.

Speaking of commercials, I think we can put Trump and Johnson in a car with a couple of ice cream sundaes and they can replace the morons in the Sonic commercial.

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Third Party Enthusiasm


The Never Trump crowd has a party they can vote for while claiming innocence over Hillary Clinton becoming president. The Bernie Sanders flock can also keep their promise to never support Clinton without supporting Donald Trump, directly.

Former Republican governor of New Mexico, Gary Johnson, is running for president. He hasn’t secured the nomination for the Libertarian Party but he’s the favorite to beat “what’s his name?” and “who that’s face?”. His Veep running mate will be William Weld, a former Republican governor of Massachusetts. What this gives the U.S. is a platform that’s Republican on economics and Democrat on social issues. This will not appeal to liberals who want a more fair economic system and Ted Cruz troglodytes who want abortion eliminated entirely and for the United States to resemble a Right-Wing Christian Taliban Theocracy.

While these two guys might be well known in New Mexico and Massachusetts, the rest of the country is going to to say “who?”. Remember that time Johnson signed that bill making something into a law and when William Weld stood up for something?…yeah. No idea.

That may not matter to many as the most important aspect will be they’re neither Trump or Clinton. There’s a report that one of the Koch brothers is pledging millions to the Libertarian campaign, which will turn off Democrats.

Basically we have two more old white guys. With neither hurling insults at their opponents or promising to build walls they’re going to come off as pretty boring. The excitement still remains between Trump and Clinton. While the Republican turnout in the primaries has been the highest ever (Trump has received more Republican votes than any Republican before him. Even Reagan), and the votes in the Democratic primary is lower than the last two contests, it’s hard to predict if there will be a large turnout for the general election. With the negatives so high for the two major party candidates, a lot of people will be staying home instead of holding their nose while voting.

Sanders’ supporters say they won’t vote for Hillary Clinton, which won’t change much as they’re not really voting now. They just like rallies. Women and minorities won’t vote for Trump. The Libertarians won’t carry a single state. Hillary Clinton will be the next president of the United States.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!