Espionage

Hot Air Espionage

I drew a cartoon for CNN on the Chinese spy balloon which will run tomorrow (Sunday). I usually wait until after the CNN cartoon is published before I hit the same subject, but this spy balloon business is too much fun.

After I finished drawing CNN’s cartoon yesterday afternoon, I thought of another idea I liked that I intended to draw today, but after traveling by bus from Indianapolis to Kokomo, Indiana (please…I can’t take any more Beach Boys references), I got this idea right as I sat down at Starbucks.

I spent all day Thursday traveling. During one of my many many many layovers, I received a comment from my friend, fellow cartoonist, and pride of Green Bay, Joe Heller, who asked if I had seen any Chinese balloons while traveling. I was like, “What the Hell are you talking about?”. I had been in the air all day and hadn’t been able to keep up with the news, which of course is when China decides to send a balloon to spy on our country. Watching TV in my hotel room with very bad WiFi Thursday night, I saw what all the fuss was about…and it’s all the news was about on Friday too.

So what’s the deal with this balloon? Why would China be so brazen to float a spy balloon over the United States? They had to know we’d see it. We look up in this country. China said it’s an oops, but we know they’re lying. And then they sent another to float over Latin America. Why are they spying on Belize?

Laurent Boebert tweeted that Donald Trump wouldn’t have let this spy balloon invade our airspace. She then tweeted, “Joe Biden has just given the “okay” for Chinese spy balloons to fly all over our nation.” It’s tweets like this why #LaurenBoebertIsSoDumb has been trending for over a year. You would think from her tweets that we wouldn’t be able to look up without seeing a Chinese spy balloon.

Here’s the thing, kids: Gravity exists even if you don’t believe in it. If you shoot a balloon down, it falls to the ground. There are things on the ground, like people. Wanting to shoot it down over land is a seriously stupid idea and thank God nobody would ever put someone like Lauren Boebert in a position of responsibility… which says a lot about her voters who sent her to Congress and Kevin McCarthy who put this moron on the House Oversight Committee.

If Donald Trump was president (sic), the first thing he’d ask about shooting down a spy balloon would be, “How will this affect me financially?” He might also ask, “Will this hurt the over dozen patents China gave Ivanka?” He’d probably also ask, “Balloons? Why didn’t I get a balloon? Isn’t every day all about me? And where’s my cake?” He’d definitely ask, “Before we shoot it down, it’s not from Russia, is it?” I’m sure after it was shot down he’d boast that he shot it down while Obama never shot down a Chinese spy balloon. And if China sent a balloon while Trump was president, he’d probably say it was a gift for the cake he gave Xi Jinping at Mar-a-Lago.

Ya see, Lauren Boebert, Russia wouldn’t DARE fly a spy balloon over American air space if Donald Trump was president. They wouldn’t have to. They’d just have to visit the Oval Office where Trump wouldn’t allow the press to watch, and where Trump will gladly give them classified information, even if it came from an ally.

So I don’t want to hear this shit about President Biden being weak and Trump being a strong president (sic) who was oh-so patriotic. Donald Trump was a goon for Russia. He was a useful idiot. Donald Trump said he trusted Putin more than American intelligence, which he recently reiterated. Donald Trump said Putin was a stronger leader than President Obama. Donald Trump repeated Putin’s talking points. Donald Trump said Putin was a genius for invading Ukraine. Donald Trump sent white nationalist terrorists to attack the Capitol in order to install him as an unelected dictator. Donald Trump is a domestic threat to this nation.

I think one thing the spy balloon tells us is that China’s technology isn’t as advanced as we thought it was. While we’re upset about the balloon invading our airspace, our satellites do this daily to China and other nations.

I don’t believe our government is going to allow this balloon to escape. They’ll either shoot it down after it passes over the east coast and is above open water. Or better yet, they’ll capture it.

The Chinese spy balloon won’t be a threat to this nation for long. Unfortunately, we’ll still have the hot air of the Russian spy balloon for a long time.

Creative note: As I stated above, this cartoon was drawn in a Kokomo Starbucks.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

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Cake For Bannon

Steve Bannon has been sentenced to four months in jail for refusing to comply with a congressional subpoena. His prison sentence is about two and a half terms of Liz Truss being prime minister (yes, that was a cartoon idea but I had already done enough on her). Bannon is allowed to appeal, but he gets to roam free and keep gooning while that process plays out. In fact, gooning is exactly what he did on the sidewalk outside the courthouse.

He said, “On November 8, there’s going to (be) judgment on the illegitimate Biden regime. And quite frankly, Nancy Pelosi and the entire committee.” He added that voters will be “weighing and measuring” the actions of the FBI as well as the congressional investigation into January 6.

Bannon is a white nationalist champion of the deep-state conspiracy theory. He’s unapologetic for being a fascist fuck and violating the law, believing he’s above it.

He had no right to defy a congressional subpoena. There is no executive privilege since he wasn’t working for the White House for the period the January 6 Committee wants to ask him about. He’s not a lawyer so he can’t claim attorney-client privilege. All he’s claiming is a privilege. He believes it’s his white privilege not to comply with a congressional subpoena. And he’s been given a privilege by not being ordered to go to jail immediately.

He also says voters will be “weighing and measuring” the actions of the FBI in November. This is some real gaslighting. The FBI did its job. Donald Trump was given the privilege to comply with the National Archives’ request and the Department of Justice’s demands that he return files. He kept lying, evading, and obstructing justice. Is the government supposed to let Trump steal classified documents and store them in the basement of his country club? Also, the FBI is NOT on the ballot.

Bannon claimed the Biden administration is illegitimate. That is false. President Joe Biden was elected by a majority of American voters and he won the Electoral College. It’s also a lie to say the committee or Speaker Pelosi aren’t legitimate. But I guess if you’re a fascist, you believe elections aren’t legitimate. In Bannon’s view, the only people who should hold power in this country are those who steal elections, not those elected by the people.

Bannon was also fined $200,000, but that’s nothing to him. He’s already fundraising off this, playing the white victim persecuted by the “deep state.” Fundraising is part of what Bannon did to be convicted in the past, for which Trump gave him a pardon.

Steve Bannon is a lying corrupt racist yet his supporters can’t see it…or they refuse to see it. You have to have some very low standards and fucked-up values to believe in Steve Bannon. In fact, you have to be a white supremacist to cry for Steve Bannon. He will lose his appeal, go to prison, and probably join a prison gang of Aryans. He might enjoy prison.

Bannon is going to prison to build his street cred with MAGA, and in a way, he’s going to prison for Donald Trump. I’m waiting for the day when Donald Trump goes to prison for Trump.

Creative Note: This idea has been used before in cartoons, so much so that I don’t think anyone can claim it. It’s kinda like the coat hanger on the top of the Supreme Court building cartoon that a thousand cartoonists have done. But I thought this cake/file cartoon was very appropriate for the subjects of Trump stealing classified files and Bannon needing a cake with a file in it.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Presidential Buckets

In early 2022, Donald Trump asked one of his lawyers to tell the National Archives that all of the material they were seeking had been returned to them and none were remaining at Mar-a-Lago. The lawyer refused to do that.

Trump attorney Alex Cannon facilitated the January transfer of 15 boxes of presidential records from Mar-a-Lago to the National Archives, which they had spent over a year trying to get. Cannon had been an attorney for the Trump Organization and the Trump Campaign before joining Trump’s post-presidential (sic) legal team, so this guy had the experience to know that most things Donald Trump says are flat-out lies. So, he refused to tell the National Archives that they had received all the documents and none were left at Mar-a-Lago. It was a smart move because as we know now, it was another Trump lie.

An attorney who lies in court or to the government can lose his or her law license. For lying to the FBI and Justice Department, an attorney can go to prison. I’m not sure what lying to the National Archives can get you but doing so as a legal representative may land you in hot water.

As it turns out, the 15 boxes that were returned were packed by Trump himself, which is really weird. Trump never does anything himself, like with his own hands, unless it’s something corrupt…like drawing on hurricane maps with Sharpies.

Trump also dictated a statement for his team to release publicly that said “everything” had been returned. Sources say he complained that the National Archives were being “persnickety” over this material. But his team didn’t want to release that statement because like Cannon, they weren’t certain it was true. And like most things with Trump, it wasn’t. Instead, they released a statement saying Trump had given boxes of materials to the archives in a “friendly” manner. It did not say that all of the materials were handed over.

More documents from Mar-a-Lago were returned in June, and the FBI presented a search warrant on Mar-a-Lago in August.

Being an attorney for Trump comes with criminal liability. Ask Michael Cohen, Rudy Giuliani, Sidney Powell, and John Eastman. Trump attorney Christina Bobb, signed a certification that a “diligent search” was conducted and that “any and all” documents were produced to the government. That was a lie. Evan Corcoran, another Trump attorney, made statements to the FBI during one Mar-a-Lago visit that also turned out not to be true.

The New York Times reporter, Maggie Haberman, interviewed Trump for her new book, “Confidence Man,” in 2021. She told the Times she asked Trump “on a lark” whether he had taken any memento documents from the White House. Trump told Haberman, “Nothing of great urgency, no,” before bringing up the Kim letters unprompted.

Trump said, “I have great things though, you know. The letters, the Kim Jong Un letters. I had many of them.”

Haberman asked a follow-up question (something Fox News goons never do): “You were able to take those with you?”

Trump backtracked and lied, saying, “No, I think that has the … I think that’s in the archives, but most of it is in the Archives. But the Kim Jong Un letters, we have incredible things. I have incredible letters with other leaders.”

She asked him if he took anything and he brings up the Kim Jong Un love letters, then says he doesn’t have those. Bullshit.

Trump bragging about what he has reminds me of the lyrics to the song “Intimate Secretary” by the Raconteurs.

I’ve got a rabbit, it likes to hop
I’ve got a girl, and she likes to shop
The other foot looks like it won’t drop
I had an uncle and he got shot
I’ve got a red Japanese teapot
I’ve got a pen but I lost the top
I’ve got so many things you haven’t got

The lyrics are sung from what sounds like the perspective of a very juvenile, stupid, and pathetic person that you should feel a little sorry for. In the real world, I don’t feel sorry for Trump.

One thing Trump has that I haven’t got is a prison in his future.

Note for the regulars: I’m going to Ohio this week for the usually-annual convention of the Association of American Editorial Cartoonists. For you, that means some or all of the blogs will be shorter than usual between tomorrow and Monday. Please try to survive.

Music note: I listened to U2, the Vines, and Jet.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Wossamotta Trump

Donald Trump’s demand that a Special Master be appointed to the declassification case is now backfiring in his fat orange stupid face.

Trump’s legal team waited several weeks after the FBI seized stolen government documents, many of them classified, from Mar-a-Lago, his country club in South Florida ripe for bedbugs and spies from hostile nations. Trump’s team demanded that a Special Master be appointed to look at every document to decide which are executive privilege and attorney/client privilege. The Trump-appointed judge, who was confirmed AFTER he lost the election, sided with Trump’s team.

Granting a Special Master to this case initially stopped the investigation dead in its tracks for at least two months. This is very dangerous to the nation since this is classified information on informants and nuclear information and if DOJ can’t investigate, then they can’t assess the danger to our nation from the exposure of the documents. A basement in a golf club is not a secure environment to store top secret information.

Judge Raymond Dearie was appointed as Special Master and Trump was probably hoping he was as one-sided as the judge who gave him this gift, Judge Aileen Cannon.

The Justice Department and Trump’s lawyers did agree on the appoint of Judge Dearie as Special Master, which makes me wonder what the Trump team expected of him. So far, it seems he doesn’t have patience for bullshit.

The judge has demanded that Trump’s legal team point out which documents Trump has declassfied. He’s given them a deadline but so far, they haven’t come forth with any proof that any of the documents have been declassified. Trump’s lawyers said that a president can declassify anything he wants, which is true, but they haven’t actually told the judge which of the seized documents have been declassified, if any.

Trump gave an interview to Sean Hannity this week which didn’t play out like an actual interview from a journalist as there were very few follow-up questions or challenges to Trump’s bullshit. You know, bullshit like saying he didn’t know what was in the boxes taken to Mar-a-Lago but he declassified everything. A real journalist would have followed up with something like: Why would you declassify a document when you don’t know what’s in it?

But Trump said he declassified everything. Everything? If Donald Trump declassified everything, then his lawyers shouldn’t have a problem proving this to the judge. You would think there’s something on these documents, other than bedbugs, that would indicate they were declassified. By the way, Merrick Garland, you may now need to fumigate the entire headquarters of the Justice Department.

Judge Dearie must have watched that Hannity interview because after Trump suggested that the FBI planted documents, he’s demanding that the Trump team put up or shut up. Yes, the judge said in a filing that Trump’s team needs to submit a sworn declaration saying if they believe the Justice Department included any items on their “inventory” of materials taken from Mar-a-Lago that were not actually seized during the search.

The judge wrote that Trump’s legal team’s declaration must include “a list of any specific items set forth in the Detailed Property Inventory that Plaintiff asserts were not seized from the Premises on August 8, 2022.

Trump and many of his sycophantic bozos, members of Congress, goons on Fox News, some of his attorneys have publicly claimed that the FBI planted evidence at Mar-a-Lago during the August 8 search. But, not one of them has produced one shred of evidence that anything was planted.

When Trump suggested to Hannity that evidence was planted, it was the only time his pet sycophant asked a follow-up question, asking if the search was recorded on video. Trump said no because the search was conducted “in a room.”

Ya’ know, I’m not surveillance expert but I do believe I’ve seen video recordings that were from inside a room.

Trump made that statement around the time he said he could declassify documents just by thinking about it.

Judge Drearie also opened the door to holding a hearing where “witnesses with knowledge of the relevant facts” could be called to testify about the Mar-a-Lago search and the materials that were seized.

If this happens, it would require Trump goons who’ve been pushing lies, like those about planted evidence, to put up or shut up. While you’re legally in the clear to lie on Fox and Friends, Hannity, and Tucker, it is illegal to lie in court. Oh, please, sweet baby Jesus…you gotta have this judge call every single Fox goon to testify on this. Get Rudy and Kash Patel in there too. Challenge them to lie in court. Please, please, please, oh please, with sugar honey bucket of oats on top, please. I wanna see these motherfuckers sweat on the stand like Alex Jones.

On Wednesday, a federal appeals court freed the Justice Department to resume using documents marked as classified that were seized, blocking Trump-appointed Cannon’s ruling that halted the investigation.

The appeals court also agreed with the Justice Department that Trump’s lawyers and the Special Master need not look at the classified documents. Yeah, let’s get this ball rolling. There are empty jail cells to fill.

Donald Trump is running out of magic hats to pull tricks out of. The hat containing Judge Cannon may have been his last. Even Bullwinkle was smarter than this shit.

Music note: I listened to Kaiser Chiefs while drawing today’s cartoon.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Telepathetic Trump

Part of Trump’s defense for having classified government documents at Mar-a-Lago is that he declassified all of them. That doesn’t explain why he took the documents and worked so hard not to return them to the government. It doesn’t explain why he obstructed justice to keep them. It doesn’t explain why documents on the nuclear capabilities of our allies or the personal life of the French president are so personal to him. He has not explained yet why he wants these documents. Maybe he wants to market a new brand of atomic French ticklers.

He’s also failed to prove he’s declassified them. The defense from him and his supporters has been that he can declassify a document by merely pointing at it and saying, “You’re declassified.” Kash Patel and others have argued without supporting evidence there was a policy that anything Trump took out of the Oval Office was immediately declassified. His former chief-of-staff says there wasn’t.

Trump’s own lawyers have balked at using the argument that everything was declassified. The Special Master they requested to review all the stolen documents appeared skeptical of Trump lawyers’ reluctance to say whether they believed the records had been declassified.

Trump lawyer James Trusty said, “In the case of someone who has been president of the United States, they have unfettered access along with unfettered declassification authority,” while failing to point out which if any of the documents have been declassified.

They argue that a president has absolute authority to declassify information. This is true, but there is a process to this other than just imagining it. Or is there?

Donald Trump seems to believe he can declassify a document just by thinking about it.

In an interview with pro-Trump goon and fake journalist Sean Hannity last night on Fox News, Trump said he could declassify documents “even by thinking about it.” Trump is claiming everything he took from the White House to Mar-a-Lago was declassified, though nobody else was aware of it. I guess that means he declassified everything in top secret with his mind.

He also blamed General Services Administration employees for what was in the boxes he lifted to Florida, saying he didn’t pack any himself, they did. The GSA disputes that saying they did ship the boxes but didn’t pack them or even know what was in them.

That’s kinda like Trump blaming banks for not catching his grifting.

New York State is suing Trump and his three trust fund babies, Jr, Eric, and Ivanka, for manipulating property values to deceive lenders, insurance brokers, and tax officials. Donald Trump would often claim property was more valuable than it actually was in loan applications, then claim it was less in tax filing.

He said if there were discrepancies about his property values, the banks should have done more diligence. But maybe they would have if he didn’t use his amazing brain powers to hypnotize them.

Yes, Trump Tower is actually taller than it really is.

Yes, your gold-plated apartment for assholes is really 30,000 square feet, and not 10,000.

Yes, Mar-a-Lago is way more valuable than it seems.

Yes, Melania’s boobs are real.

No, you’re doesn’t resemble a bleached pass-out ferret.

No, those pants don’t make your butt look big.

Yes, every woman desires you.

Yes, they will let you do it if you’re famous.

Yes, Big Macs and KFC are essential parts of a healthy diet.

Yes, ketchup is a vegetable.

Yes, you are the most amazingest and bestest president ever.

Yes, nobody knew Lincoln was a Republican until you told them.

Yes, there were revolutionary airports.

Yes, you really are only 230 pounds.

Yes, you won the election but it was stolen from you by Never-Trumpers and ketchup haters.

No, Qanon is not a cult.

Yes, you’re still president and will be reinstated any day now.

Yes, you’re the best businessman ever and totally not a grifter.

No, I didn’t have my wallet with me when I entered the room.

Donald Trump wants us to believe he’s smart and has a brilliant mind. He’s really insecure about it which is why he keeps telling us he’s a “stable genius” and came up with “person, woman, man, camera, TV.” But the only people who fall for that crap are fucking morons.

Music note: I listened to Toad the Wet Sprocket while drawing today’s cartoon.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Hurricane Trump

Hurricane Maria is one of the best examples that prove Donald Trump was a disaster of a president, wasn’t prepared for the job, wasn’t qualified for it, and had no interest in serving anyone other than himself. Donald Trump’s pettiness in dealing with the disaster that hit Puerto Rico was only topped by his pettiness in dealing with the disaster of the coronavirus.

When Hurricane Maria hit Puerto Rico, Donald Trump wasn’t aware that the island was a U.S. territory or that it was even an island. He didn’t know the island had a governor and instead, tried to call Puerto Rico’s president. Unfortunately for Puerto Rico, and the rest of us, its president at the time was Donald Trump (sic).

In 2021, a report by the Department of Housing and Urban Development Office of Inspector General confirmed that the Trump administration blocked around $20 billion of congressionally-approved disaster relief from reaching Puerto Rico, and then blocked the investigation that was trying to find out why the aid was being blocked.

After the hurricane hit, Trump went to Puerto Rico and tossed out paper towels to victims. He then returned to Washington and told top officials in his administration “that he did not want a single dollar going to Puerto Rico.” He would later downplay the number of deaths from the hurricane which is what he later did with COVID.

Trump and his administration crafted talking points about there being too much corruption in Puerto Rico to send them disaster relief. It wouldn’t surprise me if Trump wasn’t trying to find a way to skim off some of that disaster relief for himself. He should’ve looked into funneling it through Brett Favre. It’s believed that Trump attempted to funnel the money toward his useless racist border wall he promised Mexico would pay for.

Donald Trump really hates brown people.

Florida and Texas were also hit by hurricanes in 2017 but the Trump administration didn’t block any funding for those Trump-voting states. Puerto Rico can’t vote in presidential elections.

By the time HUD released its report, Puerto Rico had received about $19 billion of $69 billion that the government allocated for the island. It took President Biden to start releasing the rest of it.

Trump feuded with officials in Puerto Rico, specifically the mayor of San Juan, Carmen Yulín Cruz. When Hurricane Florence was approaching the territory in 2018, Trump reignited his feuds with the island tweeting, “We got A Pluses for our recent hurricane work in Texas and Florida (and did an unappreciated great job in Puerto Rico, even though an inaccessible island with very poor electricity and a totally incompetent Mayor of San Juan). We are ready for the big one that is coming!”

Over 3,000 people died from the effects of Hurricane Maria, yet Trump and his administration repeatedly denied the facts and claimed the true total was only 64.

Cruz tweeted, “Pres Trump thinks loosing [sic] 3,000 lives is a success. Can you imagine what he thinks failure looks like?” Like he does with most women he feuds with, Trump called the mayor “nasty.”

Trump managed to make it all about him like he did with the pandemic, and like he’s doing with the documents he stole.

Trump claimed the stolen government documents he stole “are mine, not theirs.” He’s yet to explain why he took them or which ones he supposedly declassified. He’s yet to offer any proof of declassification and today, it’s something his lawyers are struggling with.

And in New York, the state is suing the Trump Organization for fraud and is seeking to bar Trump and his three oldest children, Jr, Eric, and Ivanka, from ever doing business in the state again. She’s also referring criminal charges to federal prosecutors.

Donald Trump is a grifter. His business, presidency (sic), and life have been nothing but a con. His cons have destroyed lives. People have died from the results of his cons. Donald Trump has never been a successful businessman but he’s a hugely successful con man.

Lock him up.

Music note: I listened to The Black Keys album “El Camino” while drawing today’s cartoon.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Puttin’ Around in Putin’s Basement

Vladimir Putin believed Ukraine was going to launch a new offensive in the south, so he deployed troops from the northeast of Ukraine to defend the south…and Ukraine then launched a major offensive in the northeast. Ukraine played rope-a-dope and Putin was the dope.

Ukraine forces were able to recapture dozens of villages and towns in over 6,000 sq kilometers (2,300 sq miles) of what is formerly Russian-occupied territory. The only people left who probably still believe Putin is a war genius are those bought and paid for by Putin, like Donald Trump, Tucker Carlson, Ted Rall, etc.

Now, even pro-Kremlin Russians are starting to question the war. We’ll see how long their health holds out.

This is Putin’s war. It’s obviously clear to everyone, especially to Russian soldiers fighting this war, that Vladimir Putin doesn’t care about anyone except Vladimir Putin. His own troops are describing themselves as “cannon fodder” for Putin. It’s not just Ukrainian elementary schools, hospitals, and apartment buildings Putin is willing to sacrifice, but his own people.

If this keeps up, Putin will be removed from power. He started this war over a lie (Nazis in Ukraine) and will keep lying to fight it. It’s hard to lie to his people that Russia’s winning when husbands, brothers, and sons aren’t coming home. Putin is getting so desperate that he has to purchase weapons from Iran and North Korea which violates all sorts of sanctions.

How far will Putin go to win this war and save face…and save his power? Will he go nuclear? Could that be assisted in any way by secrets provided by Donald Trump? it’s very plausible that Putin gained access to the classified documents Trump stole. We have to ask again: Why did Trump take these documents? Why? It’s a question Republicans should start asking, you know, if they were actual patriots and not sycophantic cultish butt boys.

Music Note: I listened to The Cars, but only songs sung by Ben Orr.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Classified Crocodiles

Yeah, yeah, yeah…I know. You’ll probably find alligators and not crocodiles at Mar-a-Lago, but there are some crocs in the most-southern part of Florida and they’re moving north. Hopefully, they’ll be hungry by the time they make it to Mar-a-Lago.

When Donald Trump and his legal team requested a Special Master to be a third party overseeing the documents seized by the FBI, he gave the Justice Department an opening to show the public even more evidence that Donald Trump broke the law. Donald Trump was so upset, that he “truthed” over 60 times in a span of 12 hours. That’s a LOT of bullshit.

Donald Trump stole classified government documents that belong in the National Archive. Trump returned a few boxes…and then a few more, and then his legal team said none was left, yet a lot more were discovered after the FBI was granted a search warrant by a federal court. Somebody did something bad.

In a stalling tactic, Trump demanded a third party to review the seized material and to be the judge of what is privileged between Trump and his lawyers. The response from DOJ showed that Donald Trump still had documents his lawyers claimed he didn’t have and that Trump was reckless with them.

The Department of Justice showed a photo of classified material on a floor next to a box of TIME Magazines with Trump on the cover. Trump, being a moron, “truthed” that this material was planted, but somehow taken from Trump’s storage and scattered about on the floor to make him look bad. He also claimed they can’t be classified if DOJ released a photo of them, even though we only see the covers marked “SCI” in the picture.

According to several people who visited Trump’s office in Trump Tower before he was president (sic), his office was always a mess with objects on the floor, like one of Mike Tyson’s championship belts (did he steal that?), and was the kind of scene a hoarder from Storage Wars would say, “Damn, that’s tacky.”

I don’t buy and collect publications when my cartoons are published in them. I used to but at some point, it became like hoarding and that’s gross.

Donald Trump’s response to the DOJ filing has been one conspiracy theory after another. One of them is that Joe Biden is trying to find details on Trump pulling the U.S. out of the Iran Nuclear Deal, which would be government material that the President of the United States (the real one) would have access to. The rest of his defenses have been quotes from people like Jon Voight.

Trump “truthed,” “Terrible the way the FBI, during the Raid on Mar-a-Lago, threw documents haphazardly all over the floor (Perhaps pretending it was me that did it!).” This is like clogging the toilet and later blaming someone else.

Trump’s lawyer’s response to this was that Trump merely possessed “his own presidential records” and DOJ took an “unprecedented, unnecessary and legally unsupported raid” on Mar-a-Lago, the Justice Department was “criminalizing a former president’s possession of personal and presidential records in a secure setting.”

That’s a lot of bullshit and shows just how shitty the quality of lawyers that are left for Trump to choose from. Word gets around he’s a client that never shuts up and doesn’t pay his legal fees.

Donald Trump has actually been sued by lawyers for not paying his legal bills, who had defended him in lawsuits for not paying his bills. You have to be a seriously stupid and shitty lawyer to take Donald Trump on as a client, which explains why one of his lawyers is a goon who used to work for One America News, the conspiracy “news” network.

The raid was not “legally unsupported.” It’s amazing they’re making this argument to a judge when the warrant they received was from…a judge (it may have been from the same judge). The judge knows how these things work.

These documents were not his “own presidential records.” Presidential records belong to the government, as in, they belong to us. The documents were NOT in a secured setting. A basement, and Trump’s desk, in a golf hotel is not a secure environment.

These documents were also never declassified. Never. Nothing has been exhibited that supports this evidence. If Trump had this, his lawyers would have produced it by now…but then again, they are morons. Have you seen Sidney Powell?

DOJ’s response also revealed that Trump and his legal team were working overtime to prevent the government from obtaining these classified documents. Donald Trump, with help from his lawyers, was obstructing justice. I hope Trump’s lawyers have lawyers who are better than they are. I hope you’re listening, Rudy.

Donald Trump has a history of being careless with classified information which doesn’t go well with a history of being a hoarder. Quite frankly, I think our most secret information would be safer with the crocodiles. I’ve never heard of a crocodile giving classified information to a Russian ambassador while inside the Oval Office.

Music note: Third day straight I listened to Elton John while drawn, but that guy produced decades of hits. Besides, I had to listen to “Crocodile Rock” at least once while coloring this.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

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Lindsey Predicts a Riot

South Carolina Republican Senator Lindsey Graham appeared on Fox News yesterday and said, “If they try to prosecute President Trump for mishandling classified information after Hillary Clinton set up a server in her basement, there literally will be riots in the street. I worry about our country.”

Lindsey Graham should know better. This isn’t a warning. It’s a threat. I worry about our country too, but I worry because sycophantic dandy goons like Lindsey Graham hold seats of power.

The investigation of Hillary Clinton and her server has nothing to do with Donald Trump. In 2019, the State Department (under Donald Trump) conducted an inquiry and came away saying, “There was no persuasive evidence of systemic, deliberate mishandling of classified information.”

Donald Trump’s State Department said there was no “deliberate” mishandling of classified information. In case you’re a Republican, “deliberate” means intentional. Did Hillary Clinton intend to mishandle classified material? Donald Trump’s State Department says no.

Did Donald Trump “deliberately” mishandle classified information? Well, he took boxes and boxes of classified information to Mar-a-Lago when he was no longer president. Hillary Clinton was still Secretary of State when she mishandled classified information. Donald Trump was told he wasn’t supposed to take this material. He claimed he owned it despite being told multiple times he did not. Donald Trump lied to the National Archives about what he had. His lawyers lied to the National Archives about what he had. Donald Trump returned 15 boxes but continued to sit on several more. He stored them in a basement of a golf resort where Trump sycophants can mingle with spies. According to some sources, Donald Trump personally manhandled the documents and mixed them together with personal documents. He also lied about declassifying them. He did not declassify any of these documents. Now, there are new reports that he’s still sitting on classified documents. He still hasn’t told us why he took these documents.

The evidence is persuasive. Donald Trump systemically and deliberately stole and mishandled classified documents.

Lindsey Graham is threatening the Department of Justice. He’s threatening law and order. He believes Donald Trump is entitled and above the law and shouldn’t be prosecuted when he breaks it. He believes if prosecuting Trump will upset some people, then he shouldn’t be prosecuted.

Lindsey issued this threat about “riots in the streets” after there was an attempted attack on an FBI field office motivated by Trump and other Republicans. Lindsey issued this threat knowing the FBI and DOJ are receiving threats daily. Lindsey issued this threat despite being a witness to the last time Donald Trump didn’t get what he wanted and ordered a riot to give it to him.

And who will be doing all the rioting in the streets Lindsey is talking about? Judging from the last riot which resulted from Trump not getting what he wants, all the rioters will be white nationalists. We’re supposed to cave into the demands of white nationalists, who are not the majority in this nation?

Lindsey also compared the investigation into Trump stealing classified government documents with the FBI’s investigation of Hunter Biden over possible tax and foreign lobbying violations. He shouldn’t be making these comparisons since he doesn’t know what’s going on. He doesn’t know the status of that investigation. And again, these two cases don’t have anything to do with each other. Lindsey, like most Republicans, doesn’t understand the investigation of Hunter Biden with most believing it’s because the law doesn’t allow the president’s son to own a laptop.

Lindsey said, “I love the law. I’ve never been more worried about the law in politics as I am right now.” Was Lindsey worried when Trump was president (sic) and was barking at DOJ to go after his enemies? Did Lindsey love the law when he refused to vote to convict Donald Trump after he used U.S. military aid to extort the president of Ukraine to go after his political opponents? Did he love the law when he refused to vote to convict Trump after he ordered a literal riot in the streets? And does Lindsey love the law now by calling on Donald Trump to explain why he stole classified government documents? Does Lindsey love the law by calling on the Department of Justice to apply it equally, even to Donald Trump?

Lindsey, you don’t love the law when you tell the law to leave someone alone because applying it will make racists very unhappy. You don’t love the law when you issue threats to the law.

No one is above the law, even self-entitled orange goons. People who love the law understand that.

Lindsey said in 2015, “You know how you make America great again? Tell Donald Trump to go to hell.”

So, Lindsey, in the spirit of making America great again, you, all the white nationalists you’re calling to riot, and Donald Trump can go to hell.

Creative note: The first version of this cartoon had Ronald behind a counter, Lindsey saying his line, and Trump crying on the floor. But it was lacking something. Naturally, it was after I finished lettering that the ball pit idea came to me. So, I trashed the first version and started over despite it being after 12 p.m. on a Tuesday. I did a Google search of worst Happy Meals but nothing fit the bill until I thought of what you see in the cartoon.

I also tried to copy the lettering in the first version and export it to the new canvas, but I couldn’t figure it out, so I said “fuck it” and re-lettered it.

Music note: I listened to Elton John while drawing this.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

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Trump Redacted

Republicans, MAGAts, goons, and troglodytes have been clamoring for the release of the affidavit that led to the FBI’s search of Mar-a-Lago earlier this month, believing it would prove the “raid” was political, personal, illegitimate, and illegal. You know, all the things they’ve claimed without any proof. And they got it.

Yesterday, the Justice Department released a redacted version of the affidavit that clearly spells out that the search warrant of Mar-a-Lago was entirely justified. Republicans of course are putting their bullshit spin on it.

Peter Navarro, who proudly helped Trump attempt to steal the election through a violent coup attempt, claimed it was…wait for it…”cancel culture.” Navarro, who was arrested on contempt of Congress charges for failing to honor a subpoena from the Jan. 6 committee, said, “Redacted means canceled.” No, it does not, you ass-kissing idiot. He further bullshitted with, “OK, so they canceled the affidavit. That’s the most beautiful I’ve ever seen there. That’s like the FBI in your face.” Keep in mind, this goon motherfucker tried to cancel democracy.

John Yoo, a former deputy assistant attorney general, must have heard Navarro’s description of the affidavit as “cancel culture” and thought to himself, I can out-stupid that, and went on Fox News and demanded that all the stolen classified documents the FBI siezed from Trump be…now wait for this shit…declassified.

Yoo said, “Why not declassify the documents they actually took from President Trump and show the public what they were? If the government really feels that this was a national security threat for President Trump to have them, then let’s see them in a sanitized form.”

Three things, one of them I can’t believe I have to explain: declassifying all the documents Trump stole is extremely dangerous, and you would know this if you read the affidavit. I thought Donald Trump had already declassified them. And, don’t you know declassifying them would devalue them on the spy market, thus leading to Trump not getting paid for his treason? That is, unless Trump already got paid. I mean, why did Jared get $2 billion from the Saudis?

Yoo’s stupid-ass call for the documents to be declassified shows that Donald Trump put some seriously unqualified idiots in the Justice Department.

These goons demanded that the search warrant be released. After they got it, showing it was justified, they moved the goal post to “release the affidavit.” Now that they have the affidavit, they’re screaming for the surveillance footage to be released, which Trump claims he has and is threatening to release but hasn’t yet.

These goons knew beforehand the released affidavit would contain a lot of redactions. They’re going to act surprised now? Their reactions show they shouldn’t have any involvement or opinions on classified information, intelligence, or the law.

Elise Stefanik displayed the lickspittle cult worship that earned her Liz Cheney’s leadership position saying, “The American people deserve transparency and not an outrageously, heavily-redacted affidavit to cover up for and politically protect Joe Biden and the FBI for this dangerous and un-American overreach.”

Stefanik promised that House Republicans will “hold Biden’s DOJ and FBI accountable for their blatant weaponization against their political rivals.”

Republican House goon Dan Bishop tweeted, “So much for transparency.”

Don Jr. snorted out a tweet saying the same thing, “So much for transparency.”

Andy Biggs, another House goon, said, “The American public deserves more transparency.”

Transparency, transparency, transparency. They love the word but I don’t think they know what it means.

You want transparency? Then ask Donald Trump why he took the documents. Ask Donald Trump what his plans were with the documents. Ask Donald Trump that if there was a standing order to declassify stuff he took to his residence, then produce the standing order. Sure, the “standing order” document is among those he took, right? If these documents really were declassified by Trump, why? Ask Donald Trump why he needed documents containing the names of CIA informants. Ask Donald Trump, how many foreign officials and nationals have skipped through Mar-a-Lago since January 2021. Ask Donald Trump to be transparent.

Also, since you guys are so horny for transparency, then have every Republican House member and Trump supporter testify before the Jan. 6 Committee they have asked for. Hmm?

Despite the redactions, the released affidavit shows exactly why the search warrant was acquired, granted, and why the search was conducted.

The affidavit shows that the National Archives and Department of Justice were seeking to retrieve documents Trump took, and believed Trump still had highly-classified documents after he returned 15 boxes. It shows a letter from Trump’s lawyers that show they knew he might still have some classified documents that did not belong to him.

The affidavit shows that after receiving a second batch, witnesses informed DOJ that Trump was still hoarding sensitive documents that didn’t belong to him.

It shows that in the first batch returned in January, agents found 184 documents that were marked classified, 92 of which were marked “SECRET” and 25 of which were marked “TOP SECRET.” This shows that at the very least, Trump stole and improperly stored classified documents.

The classification markings the documents carried suggested that some could reveal clandestine human intelligence sources and others were derived from national security surveillance. Some materials were marked “NOFORN,” meaning they cannot be legally shared with a foreign government, and others “SI,” an abbreviation for special technical and intelligence information related to surveillance of foreign communications.

In its request for a search warrant of Mar-a-Lago, DOJ wrote, there is “probable cause to believe that evidence of obstruction will be found.” Finding any documents after Trump and his lawyers said they had all been returned proves there was obstruction of justice and that they were all liars. Lawyers lose law licenses for lying. People go to jail for lying to the FBI.

The affidavit described classified documents being found in multiple locations around the golf resort where Trump, his aides, members, and guests mingle.

Some of the documents retrieved in January were marked “HCS,” for Human Intelligence Control System. Such documents have material that could possibly identify C.I.A. informants, meaning a general, sweeping declassification of them would have been, at best, misguided.

I ask again, why would Trump need or declassify such documents? Releasing the names of informants could set intelligence back years and get people killed. What are his reasons for possessing these documents that named informants?

Fun fact: During the Trump years, the CIA sent a memo to all of its bureaus and agents that there was a rise in informants being killed by their governments. Hmm. Wonder why that was.

Some of the documents were marked FISA, indicating information collected under the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act. Glenn Gerstell, the former general counsel of the National Security Agency, said, “What this tells us is that there was possibly something from human beings, from spies, possibly something involving foreigners who are the only ones targeted under FISA and potentially there is very sophisticated sensitive information involved here.”

Gerstell explained (pay attention, goons), “One of the reasons they need to get these documents is to understand what is in there for the purpose of conducting a damage assessment. We have surveillance tapes and we will see who had access. But the government also needs to see the documents so they can know what might have been compromised.”

The affidavit clearly shows the search of Mar-a-Lago was justified. Republicans are complaining about the parts that are redacted while not reading and comprehending the parts that are not redacted.

Here’s what’s not redacted: Donald Trump is a seditious thief who broke the law and should be indicted and eventually placed in federal prison.

Music note: Don’t get mad at me, but I was listening to Kaiser Chiefs again. But, I was listening to one of their albums I haven’t heard it.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw: