Eric Trump

The First Crime Family Condemns Crime Families


cjones10102019

Donald Trump Jr truly lives up to his namesake. Always eager to help his father lie and smear political enemies, he went after Hunter Biden last Wednesday. Trumpy Jr said that Hunter serving on a board of a Ukranian energy company while his father was vice president created the “appearance of impropriety” and represented a “clear conflict of interest.” Then, he gave a speech condemning pomade-abusing, trust-fund baby douchebags.

The Trump family believes they’re American royalty. What they are is royal hypocrites. I believe Washington political pundits have forgotten how to stare in stunned disbelief.

Melania Trump’s anti-cyberbullying campaign, “Be Best,” is best at being silent about her husband’s cyberbullying campaign, “Be Worst.” Still, it’s not as bad as Ivanka’s “Be Oblivious” campaign when it comes to her father and sexism. Ivanka is spearheading a women’s initiative in the White House, but it’s not in her initiative to comment when her dad said Megyn Kelly had “blood coming out of her whatever,” or when her dad called Rosie O’Donnell “fat little Rosie,” or when he endorsed an accused pedophile, or on the multiple on top of multiple sexual harassment and rape allegations against her dad, or whenever he attacks women of color, or when he calls Elizabeth Warren “Pocahontas,” or when he says “send them back,” or when he brags about grabbing women “by the pussy,” or, etc., etc.

So now Trump Jr says Hunter’s business dealings don’t look proper and are a conflict of interest. So how proper does it look when foreign diplomats book rooms at Trump hotels? How proper is it for Trump to make the U.S. government spend money at his golf resorts for 293 days, and counting, of his presidency? Does it not appear to be a conflict when he promotes his businesses from the platform of the presidency? There’s not a conflict in trying to host the next G7 Summit at Trump Doral? I suppose the United States government being the landlord to Trump’s Washington Hotel isn’t a conflict either. Don’t expect the attorney general to look into that as he just booked a $30,000 party at the hotel because none of the other hotels in D.C. met his requirements, such as having the name Trump on them.

Before Trump became president, he cut deals in some of the most corrupt places on the planet. Before she spearheaded that women’s initiative, Ivanka led a hotel development in Azerbaijan, ranked 152 out of 180 on Transparency International’s index of the world’s most corrupt countries, which is a nicer way of describing the nation than as a “shithole.” The partner in that project was the son of the nation’s transportation minister who’s linked to the Iranian Revolutionary Guard. In case you’re a Republican, they’re the bad guys.

The Trumps worked with the son of a former dictator on a proposed hotel project in Brazil. That one only collapsed after Trump was elected and prosecutors went after the partner for a scheme where he diverted pension funds into…wait for it…real estate developments. I know. You’re shocked to discover there’s gambling in this establishment.

How much foreign money came into Trump’s inauguration committee? The U.S. Attorney’s Office for the Southern District of New York is trying to find out. How much do the Trumps owe Deutsche Bank? How much of that is backed by Russians?

In Indonesia, the Trumps are building two resorts with a man who bought one of their L.A. mansions last summer. While Donald Trump is yelling for China to investigate Joe and Hunter Biden, their Indonesian project is partly funded by…you’re totally going to be shocked with this one…China.

China doesn’t have a reputation for respecting American brands’ claims on intellectual property rights. Yet they’ve granted daddy’s sweet little princess, Ivanka, 34 trademarks since daddy took office. Three of those were approved the day she and her father dined with China’s president at…try not to be shocked with this one…Mar-a-Lago. I wonder how much China spent on their stay at that resort.

The sister of Jared Kushner, Ivanka’s husband, promoted her family’s connections to Trump while marketing investment programs in Kushner-owned companies. After two years of trying to get new partners or financing for a New York City property at 666 (seriously) 5th Avenue, that a previous partner said “would be worth a lot more if it was just dirt,” a Canadian company with investment from Qatar (if you’re a Republican, Qatar is a country, not something you do to a chick that dares criticize Dear Leader) bailed the Kushners out by purchasing a 99-year lease on the building. Jared, who’s buds with Saudi Arabia’s crown prince, backed a Saudi-led blockade of Qatar. Some felt the Persian Gulf nation was attempting to influence Kushner to influence Trump. By the way, one of the Saudi demands of Qatar was that the nation close Al-Jazeera, a news outlet broadcasting throughout the Middle East that reports stuff they don’t want people to know.

You would think Don Jr would take a cue from Ivanka and Melania. They remain silent about Trump’s bullying and sexism, contradicting positions they pretend to be passionate over. Maybe Dumbass Jr should shut up about Hunter Biden.

I agree there is an appearance of a conflict when a vice president’s son serves on a foreign board. Even then, no law is being violated. But, if Hunter’s involvement is worthy of an “investigation,” then so are the Trumps foreign wheelings and dealings. I want to hear a reporter ask Donald Trump if China should investigate his kids’ business dealings. I want to hear the deflection he comes up with for that.

If Donald Trump really cares about fighting corruption, then maybe he should start in his own house, if he hasn’t sold it to an Arab prince yet.

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You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

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Meanwhile, On Obama Avenue


cjones08282019

A petition that started off as a joke has now gained momentum and over 400,000 people have signed to rename a section of Fifth Avenue in front of Trump Tower to “Barack H. Obama Avenue.” As this would change the address for Trump’s penthouse, it’d also change it for his business, letterheads,  and each piece of mail delivered to Trump would have President Obama’s name on it. It would force Trump’s 2020 campaign to tell their Russian colluders to meet them at “Obama Avenue.”

Donald Trump has tried to rid the nation of Obamacare. He’s tried to change the name of Obamacare. He’s accused Obama of being born in Kenya and of wiretapping Trump Tower. He’s done everything he can to dismantle Obama’s legacy without once ever looking at policy details. He’s even accused Obama of messing up the air conditioning in the White House. Of course, he’s never given Obama credit for leaving him a great economy that even he hasn’t destroyed…yet.

There is a stumbling block to making Trump’s address 725 President Barack H. Obama Avenue. In New York City, the guidelines for renaming a street in Manhattan require the honoree be dead for at least two years, and the former president is very much alive. We don’t want to give Trump any ideas. But the rules allow exceptions and give the community board in Manhattan the discretion to disregard those guidelines in exceptional circumstances.

Keith Powers, the councilman who represents that address doesn’t like the idea. Not because he doesn’t want to disrespect Trump, but President Obama. He said, “I recognize and understand the great deal of support behind the petition to rename 5th Avenue in honor of President Obama. President Obama embodies the best of our political system and leaves a remarkable legacy. The classiest President of our time deserves better than being honored next to the home of Donald Trump. He has and will always deserve more than that.”

He has a point but it may be moot if renaming the street gives Trump a Twitter meltdown. Hell, it may be worth it if it makes Trump move out of New York City. New Yorkers do not like Donald Trump, probably because they have more experience with him than the rest of the country.

But it would be kind of an insult to President Obama. I’m also sure it’d be an insult to his daughters if we renamed Don Jr. and Eric to Sasha and Malia. If we changed Ivanka’s name to Bo, that’d be an insult to President Obama’s dog.

But if there’s a petition, where do I sign?

Support the cartoonist.

As I noted in a previous cartoon, these are perilous times for political cartoonists. But you can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print).I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Douchebag’s Wearhouse


douche

I’ve given myself a few rules to follow when creating political cartoons. One of those rules is, don’t draw a cartoon merely to state that Trump sucks. We already know Trump sucks. So, when drawing Trump, I try to make it not just about him, but a specific issue. Of course, I also reserve the right to break my own rules. In this case, I’m saying, Donald Trump, Donald Trump Jr, Eric Trump, and Jared Kushner are all entitled trust-fund baby douchebags. They all suck.

I got this idea while replying to a reader’s comment today on where this group of troglodytes shop for their tuxes. While meeting the Queen of England, Donald Trump was wearing a tuxedo that was apparently bought for Barron Trump when he was five. I knew Trump couldn’t find a suit that fits, despite having his own line of suits, but damn…you’d think the guy could find a tailor for a tux.

Then, I saw the picture of Trump with the three guys in the cartoon and just thought, ew. What a bunch of entitled douchey doos.

Entitled? Yes. A story came out this week about Don Jr. and Eric not paying their tab from a pub…after offering to buy the entire bar a round of drinks. Conservative media went after the press for running with this story pointing out that the tab had been paid and the pub itself was trying to debunk the story. Of course, the tab was paid three days later…by Donald Trump’s golf club.

The Trump boys went bar hopping in Douchebag, I mean Doonbeg, Ireland and later claimed they didn’t have cash on them. OK. So who goes bar hopping without any means to pay? Douchebags. Then, they don’t even pay the tab themselves.

The Trumps have a history of not paying their tab. They stiff contractors, lenders, apparently bars, and even an entire city. The Trump campaign still owes El Paso over $500,000 for a rally.

Douchebags.

Creative note: I did this cartoon for fun. I haven’t decided yet if I’ll send it to my clients. But, since I like living dangerously and getting into trouble, I probably will.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

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Hairy Charitable Givings


cjones06102017

Donald Trump has a history of fuckery when it comes to charity.

In 1996 there was a benefit for a nursery school in Manhattan serving children with AIDS. Trump showed up to the ribbon cutting despite not being invited. He also wasn’t a contributor, nor even offered to make a donation when the event was over. He showed up to take part in the photo-op with other celebrities. He knew there would be press coverage.

Trump brags about donating his own money while contributing other people’s money and claiming it as his own. That’s Trump fuckery.

Trump promised to donate the proceeds from Trump University. He promised to donate his salary from The Apprentice and to make personal donations to the contestants’ charities of choice. He promised to donate $250,000 to Israeli soldiers and veterans. Today, there is no documentation or any proof that he ever made any of those contributions.

Between 2008 to spring of 2016, the only donation that could be found from Trump was $10,000 to a police athletic league in New York City, unless you consider Donald Trump a charity case.

Trump’s charity, The Trump Foundation, plays off like a philanthropic foundation for a rich man to give his riches away. Instead, it’s mostly donations from other people to support Trump’s favorite cause, which is Donald Trump.

The Trump Foundation once paid $264,631, its largest gift EVER, to renovate a water fountain outside the Trump Plaza Hotel. The smallest donation it ever made was $7.00 to the Boy Scouts of America back in 1989. Coincidentally at the time, $7.00 was also the fee to register a new scout. Another coincidence, at that time Trump’s oldest son was 11-years-old. That is some serious cheap-ass Trump fuckery.

Trump has also used the foundation’s money to pay off legal disputes for his businesses and to purchase gifts for himself, like portraits of Trump and sports memorabilia. He even once used the Foundation’s money to donate to a Florida politician, who then dropped an investigation into Trump University. More Trump fuckery.

During the Republican primaries, Trump skipped a debate and held a fundraiser for veterans. His campaign claimed he donated $1 million but months later it couldn’t be found. After the press called him out on it, he eventually donated the money to a Marine Corps-law enforcement foundation.

In one of his books written by someone else, Trump said; “we’ve benefited from the American Dream and we feel the duty to give back to the community.” Regarding those who don’t give back, Trump said “those who don’t are nothing more than parasites.”

Interesting that he uses the term “parasites.”

A new investigative piece in Forbes (yay journalism!) reveals that Donald Trump, and evil douche-bag son No. 2 Eric, used charitable events at his golf courses to pad their own wallets. Shocking. Notice, I didn’t put an exclamation point at the end of that last sentence.

Donald made Eric start hosting his fundraisers for St. Jude Research Hospital at his golf courses where Eric claimed they could use the venues for free. Instead, Trump’s golf courses made $1.2 million which is really outrageous for a one-day golf tournament.

Also, $500 thousand donated to Eric’s charity to help children with cancer, was re-donated to other charities, many of which were connected to Trump family members or interests, including at least four groups that subsequently paid to hold golf tournaments at Trump courses.

Earlier in the week, Eric Trump said those who criticize his father lack morals and aren’t even people. Ouch! But I bet those who criticize his father aren’t the type of parasites who would steal money from kids with cancer.

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Shat In The Hat


cjones12232016

Before Theodor Seuss Geisel, AKA Dr. Seuss, ever wrote his first children’s book he drew political cartoons. He was pretty liberal also so maybe he’d appreciate my use of his iconic Cat In The Hat while also being horrified by a Donald Trump presidency.

Donald Trump Jr. and his brother Eric attempted to sell access to their father. There were packages with price tags of $500,000 and $1 million bucks to get near the president, tell him how awesome he is on inauguration day, and you could purchase a hunting trip to slaughter big game animals with the Trump boys (in case you need to overcompensate for something like the Trump men). There was also an auction to have coffee with their sister, Ivanka.

While the money was aimed at charity it was another charity that Donald Trump, the president-elect, criticized during the campaign for selling access to the Clintons. Of course the Trump family is no stranger to hypocrisy when it comes to charities or criticism. As Trump was lambasting the Clintons and their foundation and claiming it made them rich, he was using his own Foundation to purchase expensive souvenirs and portraits of himself. See? Overcompensating for something. Probably those small fingers. Those itty bitty teensy weensy most likely useless fingers.

I wanted to do a cartoon with a Christmas metaphor despite my hatred for them. I know several of my clients would appreciate it. I had an idea of the Trump sons drawn as elves selling access to sit on their father’s laps. Then a colleague of mine published a cartoon with that very same metaphor. He even had the boys drawn as elves. Now I’m glad I didn’t go with it.

I still had the desire to do something with Christmas as time is running out and I think my criticism of so many cartoonists using The Grinch (another Dr. Seuss creation) might have directed my brain to process using the Cat In The Hat…which doesn’t have anything to do with Christmas. My brain works in a very weird way. I do like the Thing One and Thing Two description for Eric and Jr. Bill Maher likes to refer to them as Uday and Qusay.

Drawing Thing One, Thing Two, the hat, and the fish, wasn’t too difficult. The most complicated part of this was trying to letter with Dr. Seuss’s font. THAT…was a pain in the butt.

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Enabler


cjones05112016

Just in case anyone doesn’t believe Donald Trump is a truly horrible, hideous, impersonation of a human being, he’s taken to blaming Hillary Clinton for her husband’s infidelity. At a rally Trump accused Hillary Clinton of trying to “destroy the lives” of her husband’s accusers. “She was an unbelievably nasty, mean enabler, and what she did to a lot of those women is disgraceful,” he said. Of course he didn’t offer any evidence.

Where would someone get the impression that Hillary Clinton tried to destroy the lives of her husband’s accusers? From the accusers of course.

I’m not a fan of attempting to discredit those who claim sexual harassment, abuse, and rape. I support investigating the charges. But when those making the accusations are selling books, interviews and nude layouts, well…let’s take a look at these accusers attacking Hillary.

Gennifer Flowers has made the claim that Hillary enabled Bill. Flowers definitely had an affair with Clinton but can’t offer any evidence that Hillary was aware of the affair, or attempted to destroy her. Floweres profited from the affair, selling the story to Penthouse (along with a nude pictorial) and the tabloid Star Magazine. She also did the talk show circuit, wrote an autobiography, and starred in two movies and a TV show. She even put the answering machine tapes she claimed were from Bill Clinton up for auction. So hey, it’s not like there’s anything to gain and her word should totally be trusted, right?

Kathleen Willey claims Bill Clinton sexually assaulted her and that Hillary, wait for it, enabled it. That’s a very serious charge not to be taken lightly. After the alleged assault took place Willey sent 15 letters and 12 phone messages for President Clinton requesting further contact. Since then Willey also wrote a book about her and the president. Today Willey is the paid spokeswoman of an organization formed by Trump’s close friend and political adviser, Roger Stone, called Rape Pac, but it was formerly titled “Women Against Hillary.” Willey sounds credible to me (insert eye roll).

Juanita Broaddrick claims she was raped by Clinton. Guess who she says enabled that. Guess who Broaddrick is actively campaigning for? I’ll give you a hint: He has his own helicopter with his name on it, but he doesn’t sell steaks.

Paula Jones claims Clinton sexually harassed her while he was governor of Arkansas and that Hillary enabled it. She sued Clinton over it and and eventually settled out of court, after it was dismissed when Jones failed to demonstrate any damages. Later a donor paid for her to get rhinoplasty and she posed for Penthouse Magazine. She’s a vocal supporter of Donald Trump and even took a selfie with him.

What about Monica Lewinsky. She’s not campaigning for Trump and hasn’t done any nude layouts. I haven’t seen any evidence of her campaigning against Hillary. She avoided talking about her affair with Clinton for over a decade. She actually tried to hide from the public and when she finally wrote about it, for Vanity Fair, her article was more about the aftermath of the scandal and the bullying and public shaming she received. Regarding Hillary, Lewinsky wrote “I find her impulse to blame the Woman – not only me, but herself – troubling.” That doesn’t sound so much like attempting to destroy someone as much as it is about blaming. But let’s see, sleep with a man and his wife doesn’t have nice things to say about you. Go figure. You’d think Hillary would be buying her handbags.

Being betrayed can mentally abuse a person. They may lash out and even blame themselves. For another individual, an outsider, to blame the spouse is heartless and inhumane. Attempting to benefit politically is disgusting.

I suppose if the extent of your tax plan is “I’m going to tax the rich and they’ll pay much less money” then I suppose you’re going to state a lot of crap to distract. I mean, what if someone asked Trump about something specific? Even worse, what if someone asks the Donald about his own infidelities?

The Republican War On Women continues.

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