Eric Trump

Douchebag’s Wearhouse


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I’ve given myself a few rules to follow when creating political cartoons. One of those rules is, don’t draw a cartoon merely to state that Trump sucks. We already know Trump sucks. So, when drawing Trump, I try to make it not just about him, but a specific issue. Of course, I also reserve the right to break my own rules. In this case, I’m saying, Donald Trump, Donald Trump Jr, Eric Trump, and Jared Kushner are all entitled trust-fund baby douchebags. They all suck.

I got this idea while replying to a reader’s comment today on where this group of troglodytes shop for their tuxes. While meeting the Queen of England, Donald Trump was wearing a tuxedo that was apparently bought for Barron Trump when he was five. I knew Trump couldn’t find a suit that fits, despite having his own line of suits, but damn…you’d think the guy could find a tailor for a tux.

Then, I saw the picture of Trump with the three guys in the cartoon and just thought, ew. What a bunch of entitled douchey doos.

Entitled? Yes. A story came out this week about Don Jr. and Eric not paying their tab from a pub…after offering to buy the entire bar a round of drinks. Conservative media went after the press for running with this story pointing out that the tab had been paid and the pub itself was trying to debunk the story. Of course, the tab was paid three days later…by Donald Trump’s golf club.

The Trump boys went bar hopping in Douchebag, I mean Doonbeg, Ireland and later claimed they didn’t have cash on them. OK. So who goes bar hopping without any means to pay? Douchebags. Then, they don’t even pay the tab themselves.

The Trumps have a history of not paying their tab. They stiff contractors, lenders, apparently bars, and even an entire city. The Trump campaign still owes El Paso over $500,000 for a rally.

Douchebags.

Creative note: I did this cartoon for fun. I haven’t decided yet if I’ll send it to my clients. But, since I like living dangerously and getting into trouble, I probably will.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
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Hairy Charitable Givings


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Donald Trump has a history of fuckery when it comes to charity.

In 1996 there was a benefit for a nursery school in Manhattan serving children with AIDS. Trump showed up to the ribbon cutting despite not being invited. He also wasn’t a contributor, nor even offered to make a donation when the event was over. He showed up to take part in the photo-op with other celebrities. He knew there would be press coverage.

Trump brags about donating his own money while contributing other people’s money and claiming it as his own. That’s Trump fuckery.

Trump promised to donate the proceeds from Trump University. He promised to donate his salary from The Apprentice and to make personal donations to the contestants’ charities of choice. He promised to donate $250,000 to Israeli soldiers and veterans. Today, there is no documentation or any proof that he ever made any of those contributions.

Between 2008 to spring of 2016, the only donation that could be found from Trump was $10,000 to a police athletic league in New York City, unless you consider Donald Trump a charity case.

Trump’s charity, The Trump Foundation, plays off like a philanthropic foundation for a rich man to give his riches away. Instead, it’s mostly donations from other people to support Trump’s favorite cause, which is Donald Trump.

The Trump Foundation once paid $264,631, its largest gift EVER, to renovate a water fountain outside the Trump Plaza Hotel. The smallest donation it ever made was $7.00 to the Boy Scouts of America back in 1989. Coincidentally at the time, $7.00 was also the fee to register a new scout. Another coincidence, at that time Trump’s oldest son was 11-years-old. That is some serious cheap-ass Trump fuckery.

Trump has also used the foundation’s money to pay off legal disputes for his businesses and to purchase gifts for himself, like portraits of Trump and sports memorabilia. He even once used the Foundation’s money to donate to a Florida politician, who then dropped an investigation into Trump University. More Trump fuckery.

During the Republican primaries, Trump skipped a debate and held a fundraiser for veterans. His campaign claimed he donated $1 million but months later it couldn’t be found. After the press called him out on it, he eventually donated the money to a Marine Corps-law enforcement foundation.

In one of his books written by someone else, Trump said; “we’ve benefited from the American Dream and we feel the duty to give back to the community.” Regarding those who don’t give back, Trump said “those who don’t are nothing more than parasites.”

Interesting that he uses the term “parasites.”

A new investigative piece in Forbes (yay journalism!) reveals that Donald Trump, and evil douche-bag son No. 2 Eric, used charitable events at his golf courses to pad their own wallets. Shocking. Notice, I didn’t put an exclamation point at the end of that last sentence.

Donald made Eric start hosting his fundraisers for St. Jude Research Hospital at his golf courses where Eric claimed they could use the venues for free. Instead, Trump’s golf courses made $1.2 million which is really outrageous for a one-day golf tournament.

Also, $500 thousand donated to Eric’s charity to help children with cancer, was re-donated to other charities, many of which were connected to Trump family members or interests, including at least four groups that subsequently paid to hold golf tournaments at Trump courses.

Earlier in the week, Eric Trump said those who criticize his father lack morals and aren’t even people. Ouch! But I bet those who criticize his father aren’t the type of parasites who would steal money from kids with cancer.

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Shat In The Hat


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Before Theodor Seuss Geisel, AKA Dr. Seuss, ever wrote his first children’s book he drew political cartoons. He was pretty liberal also so maybe he’d appreciate my use of his iconic Cat In The Hat while also being horrified by a Donald Trump presidency.

Donald Trump Jr. and his brother Eric attempted to sell access to their father. There were packages with price tags of $500,000 and $1 million bucks to get near the president, tell him how awesome he is on inauguration day, and you could purchase a hunting trip to slaughter big game animals with the Trump boys (in case you need to overcompensate for something like the Trump men). There was also an auction to have coffee with their sister, Ivanka.

While the money was aimed at charity it was another charity that Donald Trump, the president-elect, criticized during the campaign for selling access to the Clintons. Of course the Trump family is no stranger to hypocrisy when it comes to charities or criticism. As Trump was lambasting the Clintons and their foundation and claiming it made them rich, he was using his own Foundation to purchase expensive souvenirs and portraits of himself. See? Overcompensating for something. Probably those small fingers. Those itty bitty teensy weensy most likely useless fingers.

I wanted to do a cartoon with a Christmas metaphor despite my hatred for them. I know several of my clients would appreciate it. I had an idea of the Trump sons drawn as elves selling access to sit on their father’s laps. Then a colleague of mine published a cartoon with that very same metaphor. He even had the boys drawn as elves. Now I’m glad I didn’t go with it.

I still had the desire to do something with Christmas as time is running out and I think my criticism of so many cartoonists using The Grinch (another Dr. Seuss creation) might have directed my brain to process using the Cat In The Hat…which doesn’t have anything to do with Christmas. My brain works in a very weird way. I do like the Thing One and Thing Two description for Eric and Jr. Bill Maher likes to refer to them as Uday and Qusay.

Drawing Thing One, Thing Two, the hat, and the fish, wasn’t too difficult. The most complicated part of this was trying to letter with Dr. Seuss’s font. THAT…was a pain in the butt.

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Enabler


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Just in case anyone doesn’t believe Donald Trump is a truly horrible, hideous, impersonation of a human being, he’s taken to blaming Hillary Clinton for her husband’s infidelity. At a rally Trump accused Hillary Clinton of trying to “destroy the lives” of her husband’s accusers. “She was an unbelievably nasty, mean enabler, and what she did to a lot of those women is disgraceful,” he said. Of course he didn’t offer any evidence.

Where would someone get the impression that Hillary Clinton tried to destroy the lives of her husband’s accusers? From the accusers of course.

I’m not a fan of attempting to discredit those who claim sexual harassment, abuse, and rape. I support investigating the charges. But when those making the accusations are selling books, interviews and nude layouts, well…let’s take a look at these accusers attacking Hillary.

Gennifer Flowers has made the claim that Hillary enabled Bill. Flowers definitely had an affair with Clinton but can’t offer any evidence that Hillary was aware of the affair, or attempted to destroy her. Floweres profited from the affair, selling the story to Penthouse (along with a nude pictorial) and the tabloid Star Magazine. She also did the talk show circuit, wrote an autobiography, and starred in two movies and a TV show. She even put the answering machine tapes she claimed were from Bill Clinton up for auction. So hey, it’s not like there’s anything to gain and her word should totally be trusted, right?

Kathleen Willey claims Bill Clinton sexually assaulted her and that Hillary, wait for it, enabled it. That’s a very serious charge not to be taken lightly. After the alleged assault took place Willey sent 15 letters and 12 phone messages for President Clinton requesting further contact. Since then Willey also wrote a book about her and the president. Today Willey is the paid spokeswoman of an organization formed by Trump’s close friend and political adviser, Roger Stone, called Rape Pac, but it was formerly titled “Women Against Hillary.” Willey sounds credible to me (insert eye roll).

Juanita Broaddrick claims she was raped by Clinton. Guess who she says enabled that. Guess who Broaddrick is actively campaigning for? I’ll give you a hint: He has his own helicopter with his name on it, but he doesn’t sell steaks.

Paula Jones claims Clinton sexually harassed her while he was governor of Arkansas and that Hillary enabled it. She sued Clinton over it and and eventually settled out of court, after it was dismissed when Jones failed to demonstrate any damages. Later a donor paid for her to get rhinoplasty and she posed for Penthouse Magazine. She’s a vocal supporter of Donald Trump and even took a selfie with him.

What about Monica Lewinsky. She’s not campaigning for Trump and hasn’t done any nude layouts. I haven’t seen any evidence of her campaigning against Hillary. She avoided talking about her affair with Clinton for over a decade. She actually tried to hide from the public and when she finally wrote about it, for Vanity Fair, her article was more about the aftermath of the scandal and the bullying and public shaming she received. Regarding Hillary, Lewinsky wrote “I find her impulse to blame the Woman – not only me, but herself – troubling.” That doesn’t sound so much like attempting to destroy someone as much as it is about blaming. But let’s see, sleep with a man and his wife doesn’t have nice things to say about you. Go figure. You’d think Hillary would be buying her handbags.

Being betrayed can mentally abuse a person. They may lash out and even blame themselves. For another individual, an outsider, to blame the spouse is heartless and inhumane. Attempting to benefit politically is disgusting.

I suppose if the extent of your tax plan is “I’m going to tax the rich and they’ll pay much less money” then I suppose you’re going to state a lot of crap to distract. I mean, what if someone asked Trump about something specific? Even worse, what if someone asks the Donald about his own infidelities?

The Republican War On Women continues.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!