Eric Trump

Runs In The Family

cjones12062020

As we have all discovered over the past five years, and if you haven’t then you weren’t paying attention, Donald Trump projects.

The guy who had people chant “lock her up” at his hate rallies watched several of his friends be locked up. For others, he issued pardons. While accusing Joe and Hunter Biden of corruption in Ukraine, Trump and Rudy Giuliani were practicing corruption in Ukraine. All they could come up with were conspiracy theories accusing other people of what they were guilty of. Trump’s Ukraine actions made him an impeached president.

Naturally, an impeached president will pardon goons. Naturally, an impeached president only has goons as friends. If you are a friend of Donald Trump’s, you may want to reassess your life. If you work in his administration, you’ll have plenty of time after January 20 to reassess because it’s not like anyone’s going to hire you. Enjoy all those covid parties now because you’ll probably never be invited to a party ever again.

During the campaign, Trump and his people couldn’t shut up about Hunter Biden. He was the star of their convention. He was brought up at the debates. Donald Trump tried to paint the Bidens as corrupt and Joe as a bad father.

Here’s a question: If three out of five of your children go to prison, are you a bad father? That goes for pardons too. If three of your children…and a goon one of them married, all need pardons, you probably did something wrong. Naming the first one after your corrupt orange ass was a bad start. For the Trump family, issuing pardons is just another day of business. For the Trump family, corruption is the business.

Hunter Biden doesn’t need a pardon. Hunter Biden is not under investigation…not even by Trump’s Justice Department. Why? Because he didn’t do anything illegal. But Ivanka, often referred to as “Grifter Barbie,” had to answer questions in an investigation over the inauguration. That’s just warming up.

Why was Ivanka paid as an outside consultant to the Trump Organization while she was also employed by the Trump Organization? The payments were used as tax write offs for Donald Trump. Where is all that money donated to the Trump Inauguration, which Ivanka played a huge part in? What about all those patents granted to Ivanka in China? Ivanka also violated the Hatch Act by endorsing a product and campaigning for a presidential candidate while employed by the White House. A lot of government employees did that by the way.

How about all the foreign bailouts for her husband’s companies? Why did her husband lie again and again on his security clearance application? Why did he want a back channel to Russia? Why did he engage secretly with the Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia, who ordered the murder of a Saudi journalist under U.S. protection? In 2018 alone, Ivanka and Jared made over $138 million from foreign businesses while they were government employees.

What all sorts of goonery has Don Jr. been sniffing up? Jr and Eric have continued to promote their father’s presidency for overseas business. The Republican National Committee spent $100,000 on copies of Jr’s horrible book. The boys have grifted the government by overcharging the Secret Service at Trump resorts. Eric’s wife and Jr’s screechy girlfriend are both receiving salaries from the Trump Campaign. What a bunch of fucking grifters.

So after a couple of years smearing Hunter Biden, it’s the Trump kids who are in discussion over receiving pardons…along with Rudy, Roger Stone, Paul Manafort, and probably a few hundred more Trump goons. What I wonder, while others who don’t hold dirt on Trump may have to purchase their pardons, will the Trump kids’ pardons be Christmas gifts? I’m sure they’ll make excellent stocking stuffers.

The likes of Roger Stone doesn’t care about being seen as guilty and corrupt, but do the Trumps? Because, when you accept a pardon, you accept guilt. I guess they can make it work for them since Donald Trump has made being an impeached president kinda his thing. Being guilty, corrupt, and pardoned can be the Trump kids’ jam.

These are people who never accomplished anything on their own…ever. So with pardons, what’s one more thing to inherit?

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. And since someone asked this morning, yes. You can still get a signed print for $40.

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Trust-Fund Royalty

cjones01112020

I had an excellent blog planned out in my head and I started on this cartoon at 5:30 a.m. Then, something struck in my stomach and I’ve been laid out nearly all day. I don’t know if it’s the cheeseburger I had last night or that I had two of them.

At any rate, no blog today. You got this. I gotta try to rest up before I start writing ideas for CNN. I hurt.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From The Trumpster Fire

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Whoop-Ass

cjones01072020

I’m going to be fair in today’s column. Not with the cartoon because cartoons aren’t supposed to be fair.

When Eric Trump tweeted, “Bout to open up a big ol’ can of whoop ass (American flag emoji #Don’tMessWithTheBest #USA#USA#USA,” he wasn’t talking about his father’s order to assassinate Iranian general Qassem Soleimani.

There’s been much speculation that Donald Trump told douchebag son No. 2, Eric, about the upcoming hit while neglecting to inform Congress. It is fair to criticize how Trump handled the information since he did tell Senator, and reason some South Carolina village is missing its idiot each time he’s in Washington – LindseyGraham. Trump also seemed to dedicate a LOT more time to golf than deliberations over a decision that may lead our nation to war…and war or no war, to the death of many Americans. And, maybe he did tell Eric as Donald Trump has shown us before that he doesn’t really take classified information very seriously. For all we know he phoned Putin beforehand like he did before bombing some runways in Syria. And, there is speculation as to why Eric deleted the tweet.

But, Eric was retweeting conspiracy theorist Jack Posobiec, who posted a video of marines arriving to the American embassy in Baghdad with the caption: “BREAKING: US Marines arriving to Baghdad embassy.”

There are a few issues we can take with Eric’s tweet. First off, when Eric wrote “#USA#USA#USA,” he misspelled “#RUSSIA#RUSSIA#RUSSIA.” Maybe that explains the tweet’s deletion.

Second, trust-fund, silver-spoon-baby Eric Trump has never opened a can of anything in his life. The guy would need a manual to operate a can opener without harming himself. The guy couldn’t open a can of tuna fish if it was a pop-top. Eric couldn’t open a can of Pringles. And, “Bout to open a can of whoop-ass,” Eric? Who’s opening that can of “whoop-ass?” It’s not you.

Eric, if we go to war, you’ll be safe at home watching it break on Fox News and having someone smarter explaining it to you. Even if there was a draft and you were young enough, your dad would be able to pay some quack doctor to attest that you have bone spurs, thus getting you out of military service. That’s how your corrupt grandfather got your corrupt father out of service. That’s how it works for trust-fund babies, which you undoubtedly are.

If your idiot father does start a war with Iran, you can bet your little brother Barron won’t have to serve, as the war with Iran will probably last about as long as our war with Afghanistan (which neither you nor douchebag son No.1 volunteered to serve in) that has lasted nearly two decades. In case you’re a Republican or a son of Donald Trump, a decade is ten years.

Also, Eric…war is nothing like the hunting you and dumbass Don Jr. do for endangered species. It’s not like having your prey fenced in and paying a guide to point them out to you and then after killing the animal, you get to go back to the clubhouse, get a steak before hitting up the salon for a mani-pedi.

No, Eric. In war, they shoot back. People die in war.

I know you and other Trump supporters aren’t real big with the thinking, but when you’re out there shaking your pom-poms chanting “Russia, Russia, Russia,” I mean, “USA, USA, USA,” keep in mind that Americans are going to be dying. Americans who are not you or other beneficiaries of your father’s tax-cuts.

The thing is, Eric when we go to war, you not only don’t have to fight it but you don’t even have to worry about it. I mean, for our last war you got tax cuts. What’cha gonna get this time? A new yacht?

So to sum up: Killing endangered animals, getting huge tax cuts, not having to worry, shaking pom-poms, tweeting, deleting tweets, or stealing from a children’s’ cancer charity, yes. Eric can do it. Opening cans, not so much.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From The Trumpster Fire

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Run, Run, Rudolph

cjones12172019

I don’t understand gun obsession or why anyone feels they need an automatic weapon to make themselves feel like a man. I can only assume they’re overcompensating for something very tiny in their lives. So if I can’t understand gun worship, I’m never going to get why some feel the need to kill something just to kill it…and the rarer the creature the better. But then again, anyone who needs to kill something beautiful just to kill it is an asshole.

This brings us to the Trump boys. Donald Trump Jr. and Eric love to shoot and kill things. The bigger the better. The rarer the better. Typically, their “hunts” involve shooting creatures on preserves where they’re lead by a guide. Basically, you’re shooting an animal in a fence. In the past, they’ve posted photos of buffalo, elephants, and leopards they killed. In one pic, DJTJ is holding the tail he cut off an elephant he killed. How macho.

Recently, Donald Trump Jr. shot an argali sheep in Mongolia. The argali sheep is extremely rare and shooting and killing them is controversial in Mongolia. To legally kill one, you have to be rich and politically connected.  It helps if you’re a trust-fund baby.

Funny thing about DJTJ killing this animal: He did so BEFORE he acquired a permit allowing him to kill it. After killing it, he got a meeting with the president. The permit was granted AFTER DJTJ had left the nation.

Now, an animal-protection group and a government watchdog group have filed separate requests asking four government agencies to investigate and produce documents regarding Trump Jr.’s Mongolian hunting excursion.

The Center for Biological Diversity sent a two-page letter to the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service on Friday, alerting the agency that Trump Jr. may have violated Mongolian laws by reportedly killing a rare argali sheep without a permit.

Tanya Sanerib, the Center’s international legal director and an attorney, wrote, “If Mongolian law was violated when the argali was killed, then U.S. officials must ensure the poor animal doesn’t end up in the U.S. as a Trump wall hanging.”

Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington requested records from the Department of Homeland Security, State Department, and Department of the Interior seeking information on the cost of the trip to taxpayers, communication between Trump Jr. and Mongolian officials and documents Trump Jr. may have filed to import the big-game trophy, including its massive corkscrew horns.

I’m sure each of these departments will get right on that.

As it turns out, Mongolia’s ambassador to the U.S. and its foreign minister were hanging out at Trump’s Mar-a-Lago resort during Easter weekend, at the same time Trump Jr. was there. But don’t worry because Donald Trump made a big deal about “pay-for-play” regarding the Clinton Foundation, so I’m sure none of that was transpiring during Easter weekend or ever with his extremely ethical family.

If Santa was planning to land his endangered reindeer on the Trump’s roof, the only thing that’d stop the Trump boys from killing them would be if they couldn’t get a guide to hold their hands. You know they’re too wimpy to climb up there on their own.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From The Trumpster Fire

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Brains Don’t Work On The Girl

cjones11072019

The Trump kids, much like their father, are seriously out of their element when it comes to politics and well…anything that requires comprehension, consistency, and honesty. Donald Trump’s full-grown trust-fund babies are at their best when they ignore what’s actually going on, like when Jr. and Eric tweeted denials that their father was booed at a UFC event in New York over the weekend. It’s like that episode of The Simpsons, when a crowd boos Mr. Burns. His lackey, Mr. Smithers, tells his boss they’re not saying “boo.” They’re saying “Boo-urns.”

Last week, Donald Trump Jr., with a straight face, went on Hannity and said, “I wish my name was Hunter Biden. I could go abroad, make millions off of my father’s presidency. I’d be a really rich guy! It would be incredible!” If Sean Hannity was an actual journalist, he would have reminded Donald Trump Jr. that his name is Donald Trump Jr. DJTJ was on Hannity to promote his new book, “Triggered,” which, ironically, nobody would be interested in publishing or reading if his name wasn’t Donald Trump Jr.

On October 15, Eric Trump made the claim, “When my father became commander-in-chief of this country, we got out of all international business.” There are literally buildings in other countries with the Trump name on them. In fact, every time the Trump kids go on an overseas business deal, which they still do, taxpayers have to pay a bill for their protection.

Jared, who is in charge of Trump’s impeachment defense (good luck) and argues his father-in-law hasn’t “done anything wrong,” responded to Joe Biden’s criticism of him and Ivanka having jobs in the White House. Jared said, “He’s entitled to his opinion, but a lot of the work that the President’s had me doing over the last three years has actually been cleaning up the messes that Vice President Biden left behind.” It’s funny because Jared has no idea what he’s doing and someday in the future, someone’s going to be cleaning up the messes he left behind.

Then there’s Daddy’s princess, Ivanka. She decided to defend her father from the impeachment inquiry by comparing him to Jefferson…No, not George but Thomas. She took an eloquent quote from the third president and tweeted, “‘…surrounded by enemies and spies catching and perverting every word that falls from my lips or flows from my pen, and inventing where facts fail them.’ -Thomas Jefferson’s reflections on Washington, D.C. in a letter to his daughter Martha.
Some things never change, dad!”

There are several takes you can get from them. Jefferson is on the nickel and the closest honor Trump has to that is a baby balloon of him floating around the United Kingdom. Jefferson wrote the Declaration of Independence and Trump tweets out photoshopped pics of him placing medals on dogs. The best take from this is that Jefferson was responding to accusations he fathered a child with a slave…which he was guilty of at least six times. I don’t think the area of who Trump has slept with, or wants to sleep with, is one Ivanka should wade into. Ivanka should try to find a quote from someone defending themselves from fraudulent charges, like OJ.

Here’s the thing, pretend princess, when you Google a quote, don’t stop reading before you find the context. Perhaps, if you spent more time comprehending what you’re supposed to be doing as a “senior adviser” to the president instead of your public-image campaign of presenting yourself as the rational Trump with humility, you may accidentally stumble upon a clue.

These are just more examples of rich white people crying about how they’re constantly persecuted and life is so hard and unfair for them. If only the world would stop being mean to trust-fund babies.

But if you’re seeking a Jefferson quote, Sweatshop Barbie, I got one for you. Thomas Jefferson wrote, “Towards acquiring the confidence of the people the very first measure is to satisfy them of his disinterestedness, & that he is directing their affairs with a single eye to their good, & not to build up fortunes for himself & family: & especially that the officers appointed to transact their business, are appointed because they are the fittest men, not because they are his relations. So prone are they to suspicion that where a President appoints a relation of his own, however worthy, they will believe that favor, & not merit, was the motive.”

I know it’s kinda long so I’ll directly give you the point. Nepotism is bad. Still don’t understand it? You and your idiot husband only have positions in the White House because the president is your father. If you honestly believe you’re there because of your qualifications, then you are dumber than I could ever make you out to be.

But, since you’re seeking a Jefferson quote that fits your situation, I’ll provide another for you: “If I paid you to think, you could cash your check at the penny arcade.” That’s from George.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

The First Crime Family Condemns Crime Families

cjones10102019

Donald Trump Jr truly lives up to his namesake. Always eager to help his father lie and smear political enemies, he went after Hunter Biden last Wednesday. Trumpy Jr said that Hunter serving on a board of a Ukranian energy company while his father was vice president created the “appearance of impropriety” and represented a “clear conflict of interest.” Then, he gave a speech condemning pomade-abusing, trust-fund baby douchebags.

The Trump family believes they’re American royalty. What they are is royal hypocrites. I believe Washington political pundits have forgotten how to stare in stunned disbelief.

Melania Trump’s anti-cyberbullying campaign, “Be Best,” is best at being silent about her husband’s cyberbullying campaign, “Be Worst.” Still, it’s not as bad as Ivanka’s “Be Oblivious” campaign when it comes to her father and sexism. Ivanka is spearheading a women’s initiative in the White House, but it’s not in her initiative to comment when her dad said Megyn Kelly had “blood coming out of her whatever,” or when her dad called Rosie O’Donnell “fat little Rosie,” or when he endorsed an accused pedophile, or on the multiple on top of multiple sexual harassment and rape allegations against her dad, or whenever he attacks women of color, or when he calls Elizabeth Warren “Pocahontas,” or when he says “send them back,” or when he brags about grabbing women “by the pussy,” or, etc., etc.

So now Trump Jr says Hunter’s business dealings don’t look proper and are a conflict of interest. So how proper does it look when foreign diplomats book rooms at Trump hotels? How proper is it for Trump to make the U.S. government spend money at his golf resorts for 293 days, and counting, of his presidency? Does it not appear to be a conflict when he promotes his businesses from the platform of the presidency? There’s not a conflict in trying to host the next G7 Summit at Trump Doral? I suppose the United States government being the landlord to Trump’s Washington Hotel isn’t a conflict either. Don’t expect the attorney general to look into that as he just booked a $30,000 party at the hotel because none of the other hotels in D.C. met his requirements, such as having the name Trump on them.

Before Trump became president, he cut deals in some of the most corrupt places on the planet. Before she spearheaded that women’s initiative, Ivanka led a hotel development in Azerbaijan, ranked 152 out of 180 on Transparency International’s index of the world’s most corrupt countries, which is a nicer way of describing the nation than as a “shithole.” The partner in that project was the son of the nation’s transportation minister who’s linked to the Iranian Revolutionary Guard. In case you’re a Republican, they’re the bad guys.

The Trumps worked with the son of a former dictator on a proposed hotel project in Brazil. That one only collapsed after Trump was elected and prosecutors went after the partner for a scheme where he diverted pension funds into…wait for it…real estate developments. I know. You’re shocked to discover there’s gambling in this establishment.

How much foreign money came into Trump’s inauguration committee? The U.S. Attorney’s Office for the Southern District of New York is trying to find out. How much do the Trumps owe Deutsche Bank? How much of that is backed by Russians?

In Indonesia, the Trumps are building two resorts with a man who bought one of their L.A. mansions last summer. While Donald Trump is yelling for China to investigate Joe and Hunter Biden, their Indonesian project is partly funded by…you’re totally going to be shocked with this one…China.

China doesn’t have a reputation for respecting American brands’ claims on intellectual property rights. Yet they’ve granted daddy’s sweet little princess, Ivanka, 34 trademarks since daddy took office. Three of those were approved the day she and her father dined with China’s president at…try not to be shocked with this one…Mar-a-Lago. I wonder how much China spent on their stay at that resort.

The sister of Jared Kushner, Ivanka’s husband, promoted her family’s connections to Trump while marketing investment programs in Kushner-owned companies. After two years of trying to get new partners or financing for a New York City property at 666 (seriously) 5th Avenue, that a previous partner said “would be worth a lot more if it was just dirt,” a Canadian company with investment from Qatar (if you’re a Republican, Qatar is a country, not something you do to a chick that dares criticize Dear Leader) bailed the Kushners out by purchasing a 99-year lease on the building. Jared, who’s buds with Saudi Arabia’s crown prince, backed a Saudi-led blockade of Qatar. Some felt the Persian Gulf nation was attempting to influence Kushner to influence Trump. By the way, one of the Saudi demands of Qatar was that the nation close Al-Jazeera, a news outlet broadcasting throughout the Middle East that reports stuff they don’t want people to know.

You would think Don Jr would take a cue from Ivanka and Melania. They remain silent about Trump’s bullying and sexism, contradicting positions they pretend to be passionate over. Maybe Dumbass Jr should shut up about Hunter Biden.

I agree there is an appearance of a conflict when a vice president’s son serves on a foreign board. Even then, no law is being violated. But, if Hunter’s involvement is worthy of an “investigation,” then so are the Trumps foreign wheelings and dealings. I want to hear a reporter ask Donald Trump if China should investigate his kids’ business dealings. I want to hear the deflection he comes up with for that.

If Donald Trump really cares about fighting corruption, then maybe he should start in his own house, if he hasn’t sold it to an Arab prince yet.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Meanwhile, On Obama Avenue

cjones08282019

A petition that started off as a joke has now gained momentum and over 400,000 people have signed to rename a section of Fifth Avenue in front of Trump Tower to “Barack H. Obama Avenue.” As this would change the address for Trump’s penthouse, it’d also change it for his business, letterheads,  and each piece of mail delivered to Trump would have President Obama’s name on it. It would force Trump’s 2020 campaign to tell their Russian colluders to meet them at “Obama Avenue.”

Donald Trump has tried to rid the nation of Obamacare. He’s tried to change the name of Obamacare. He’s accused Obama of being born in Kenya and of wiretapping Trump Tower. He’s done everything he can to dismantle Obama’s legacy without once ever looking at policy details. He’s even accused Obama of messing up the air conditioning in the White House. Of course, he’s never given Obama credit for leaving him a great economy that even he hasn’t destroyed…yet.

There is a stumbling block to making Trump’s address 725 President Barack H. Obama Avenue. In New York City, the guidelines for renaming a street in Manhattan require the honoree be dead for at least two years, and the former president is very much alive. We don’t want to give Trump any ideas. But the rules allow exceptions and give the community board in Manhattan the discretion to disregard those guidelines in exceptional circumstances.

Keith Powers, the councilman who represents that address doesn’t like the idea. Not because he doesn’t want to disrespect Trump, but President Obama. He said, “I recognize and understand the great deal of support behind the petition to rename 5th Avenue in honor of President Obama. President Obama embodies the best of our political system and leaves a remarkable legacy. The classiest President of our time deserves better than being honored next to the home of Donald Trump. He has and will always deserve more than that.”

He has a point but it may be moot if renaming the street gives Trump a Twitter meltdown. Hell, it may be worth it if it makes Trump move out of New York City. New Yorkers do not like Donald Trump, probably because they have more experience with him than the rest of the country.

But it would be kind of an insult to President Obama. I’m also sure it’d be an insult to his daughters if we renamed Don Jr. and Eric to Sasha and Malia. If we changed Ivanka’s name to Bo, that’d be an insult to President Obama’s dog.

But if there’s a petition, where do I sign?

Support the cartoonist.

As I noted in a previous cartoon, these are perilous times for political cartoonists. But you can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print).I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Douchebag’s Wearhouse

douche

I’ve given myself a few rules to follow when creating political cartoons. One of those rules is, don’t draw a cartoon merely to state that Trump sucks. We already know Trump sucks. So, when drawing Trump, I try to make it not just about him, but a specific issue. Of course, I also reserve the right to break my own rules. In this case, I’m saying, Donald Trump, Donald Trump Jr, Eric Trump, and Jared Kushner are all entitled trust-fund baby douchebags. They all suck.

I got this idea while replying to a reader’s comment today on where this group of troglodytes shop for their tuxes. While meeting the Queen of England, Donald Trump was wearing a tuxedo that was apparently bought for Barron Trump when he was five. I knew Trump couldn’t find a suit that fits, despite having his own line of suits, but damn…you’d think the guy could find a tailor for a tux.

Then, I saw the picture of Trump with the three guys in the cartoon and just thought, ew. What a bunch of entitled douchey doos.

Entitled? Yes. A story came out this week about Don Jr. and Eric not paying their tab from a pub…after offering to buy the entire bar a round of drinks. Conservative media went after the press for running with this story pointing out that the tab had been paid and the pub itself was trying to debunk the story. Of course, the tab was paid three days later…by Donald Trump’s golf club.

The Trump boys went bar hopping in Douchebag, I mean Doonbeg, Ireland and later claimed they didn’t have cash on them. OK. So who goes bar hopping without any means to pay? Douchebags. Then, they don’t even pay the tab themselves.

The Trumps have a history of not paying their tab. They stiff contractors, lenders, apparently bars, and even an entire city. The Trump campaign still owes El Paso over $500,000 for a rally.

Douchebags.

Creative note: I did this cartoon for fun. I haven’t decided yet if I’ll send it to my clients. But, since I like living dangerously and getting into trouble, I probably will.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

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Hairy Charitable Givings

cjones06102017

Donald Trump has a history of fuckery when it comes to charity.

In 1996 there was a benefit for a nursery school in Manhattan serving children with AIDS. Trump showed up to the ribbon cutting despite not being invited. He also wasn’t a contributor, nor even offered to make a donation when the event was over. He showed up to take part in the photo-op with other celebrities. He knew there would be press coverage.

Trump brags about donating his own money while contributing other people’s money and claiming it as his own. That’s Trump fuckery.

Trump promised to donate the proceeds from Trump University. He promised to donate his salary from The Apprentice and to make personal donations to the contestants’ charities of choice. He promised to donate $250,000 to Israeli soldiers and veterans. Today, there is no documentation or any proof that he ever made any of those contributions.

Between 2008 to spring of 2016, the only donation that could be found from Trump was $10,000 to a police athletic league in New York City, unless you consider Donald Trump a charity case.

Trump’s charity, The Trump Foundation, plays off like a philanthropic foundation for a rich man to give his riches away. Instead, it’s mostly donations from other people to support Trump’s favorite cause, which is Donald Trump.

The Trump Foundation once paid $264,631, its largest gift EVER, to renovate a water fountain outside the Trump Plaza Hotel. The smallest donation it ever made was $7.00 to the Boy Scouts of America back in 1989. Coincidentally at the time, $7.00 was also the fee to register a new scout. Another coincidence, at that time Trump’s oldest son was 11-years-old. That is some serious cheap-ass Trump fuckery.

Trump has also used the foundation’s money to pay off legal disputes for his businesses and to purchase gifts for himself, like portraits of Trump and sports memorabilia. He even once used the Foundation’s money to donate to a Florida politician, who then dropped an investigation into Trump University. More Trump fuckery.

During the Republican primaries, Trump skipped a debate and held a fundraiser for veterans. His campaign claimed he donated $1 million but months later it couldn’t be found. After the press called him out on it, he eventually donated the money to a Marine Corps-law enforcement foundation.

In one of his books written by someone else, Trump said; “we’ve benefited from the American Dream and we feel the duty to give back to the community.” Regarding those who don’t give back, Trump said “those who don’t are nothing more than parasites.”

Interesting that he uses the term “parasites.”

A new investigative piece in Forbes (yay journalism!) reveals that Donald Trump, and evil douche-bag son No. 2 Eric, used charitable events at his golf courses to pad their own wallets. Shocking. Notice, I didn’t put an exclamation point at the end of that last sentence.

Donald made Eric start hosting his fundraisers for St. Jude Research Hospital at his golf courses where Eric claimed they could use the venues for free. Instead, Trump’s golf courses made $1.2 million which is really outrageous for a one-day golf tournament.

Also, $500 thousand donated to Eric’s charity to help children with cancer, was re-donated to other charities, many of which were connected to Trump family members or interests, including at least four groups that subsequently paid to hold golf tournaments at Trump courses.

Earlier in the week, Eric Trump said those who criticize his father lack morals and aren’t even people. Ouch! But I bet those who criticize his father aren’t the type of parasites who would steal money from kids with cancer.

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Shat In The Hat

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Before Theodor Seuss Geisel, AKA Dr. Seuss, ever wrote his first children’s book he drew political cartoons. He was pretty liberal also so maybe he’d appreciate my use of his iconic Cat In The Hat while also being horrified by a Donald Trump presidency.

Donald Trump Jr. and his brother Eric attempted to sell access to their father. There were packages with price tags of $500,000 and $1 million bucks to get near the president, tell him how awesome he is on inauguration day, and you could purchase a hunting trip to slaughter big game animals with the Trump boys (in case you need to overcompensate for something like the Trump men). There was also an auction to have coffee with their sister, Ivanka.

While the money was aimed at charity it was another charity that Donald Trump, the president-elect, criticized during the campaign for selling access to the Clintons. Of course the Trump family is no stranger to hypocrisy when it comes to charities or criticism. As Trump was lambasting the Clintons and their foundation and claiming it made them rich, he was using his own Foundation to purchase expensive souvenirs and portraits of himself. See? Overcompensating for something. Probably those small fingers. Those itty bitty teensy weensy most likely useless fingers.

I wanted to do a cartoon with a Christmas metaphor despite my hatred for them. I know several of my clients would appreciate it. I had an idea of the Trump sons drawn as elves selling access to sit on their father’s laps. Then a colleague of mine published a cartoon with that very same metaphor. He even had the boys drawn as elves. Now I’m glad I didn’t go with it.

I still had the desire to do something with Christmas as time is running out and I think my criticism of so many cartoonists using The Grinch (another Dr. Seuss creation) might have directed my brain to process using the Cat In The Hat…which doesn’t have anything to do with Christmas. My brain works in a very weird way. I do like the Thing One and Thing Two description for Eric and Jr. Bill Maher likes to refer to them as Uday and Qusay.

Drawing Thing One, Thing Two, the hat, and the fish, wasn’t too difficult. The most complicated part of this was trying to letter with Dr. Seuss’s font. THAT…was a pain in the butt.

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