England

Trumped Up Brexit


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Voters in the United Kingdom can be just as poorly informed as their counterparts in the United States. They can also be just as easily manipulated by Russian troll farms.

While the European Union isn’t perfect and there are serious issues for each nation involved to resolve, it’s stupid for the United Kingdom to leave it and form an isolationist position. That’s exactly why Vladimir Putin directed the Kremlin to engage in election meddling in the UK’s EU vote. Russia does not have the UK’s best interest at heart.

Likewise, Russia wants what’s worse for the United States which is why they meddled in our election to help elect Donald Trump. I have often said that a voting primer is to vote against Vladimir Putin’s best interest. You would have to be an idiot to vote for Putin’s candidate.

Idiots in the United States gave us Donald Trump. Now, Boris Johnson is about to become Prime Minister because of a bunch of British idiots…and Welsh, Scottish, and Irish (though fewer Scots and Irish supported Brexit than people in England and Wales).

Theresa May had been struggling for a deal with the European Union on the UK’s exit. Boris Johnson is promising an exit even without a deal. Trump, who claims he’s a great negotiator, has operated the same way. The formula is to throw the baby out with the baby water and hope the other side returns the baby.

Trump left the Paris Climate Accord, the Trans-Pacific Partnership, NAFTA, and the Iran Nuclear Treaty without any replacements. He tried to end Obamacare without a replacement. He’s also threatened to leave NATO. Meanwhile in the Kremlin, Putin is smiling.

Boris Johnson and Donald Trump have much in common. While Boris isn’t as stupid as Trump (it takes a lot more political savvy to weave your way through British politics than it does  to dupe 62 million American voters with “build a wall and Mexico will pay for it”), he is an isolationist populist who puts his own self interest before his nation’s. Both use racist dog whistles. Both are Russian puppets. Both are isolationist and nation first guys. They both troll the least informed for support. Both have ridiculous yellow hair (though Boris’ looks real). They were both born in New York City. And, they both are willing to initiate maneuvers without any regard for the dangerous consequences. If England wasn’t an island, Boris would be chanting for a wall. If you’re a Trump or one of his supporters, yes. England is an island.

Both of these guys serve Russian interests. Boris was even named after a Russian.

Trump once referred third-world nations as “shithole” countries. Boris once compared infighting in his Conservative Party to “Papua New Guinea-style orgies of cannibalism and chief-killing.” Trump is known as a liar and loves to make shit up. Boris was once fired as a journalist for making up a quote.

Donald Trump undermined Theresa May by saying Boris would make a great Prime Minister. He also thinks he’s doing a great job as president.

Most Brits view Trump as a laughingstock. Only one in four of them believe Boris should be Prime Minister which means they’re about to get their own laughingstock. Personally, I have to find time away from laughing at our laughingstock to laugh at Britain’s. Likewise, Brits may have less focus to create Trump Babies because they’ll be making a Boris Baby.

But, the lesson for my British friends is this: Vote stupid, stupid things happen. Need an example? Baby, I can give you one.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
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Watch Me Draw.

Trump Baby


cjones07102018

 

For the first time in my life, I think I feel sorry for the Queen of England.

At some point between meeting Prime Minster Theresa May, Boris Johnson, listening to bagpipes, golf in Scotland, lots of executive time, and avoiding protesters, Donald Trump will meet Queen Elizabeth. God help the Queen.

It’s the protests that may be the most interesting. Over one million people signed a petition to ban Trump from visiting the United Kingdom. It worked for a while as Trump canceled a previously planned trip. He blamed the excessive cost of the American embassy and blamed Obama, despite the embassy being planned during the second Bush administration.

Street protests against America’s wannabe fascist are expected to draw over 100,000 people in London, which Trump plans to mostly avoid. The mayor of London, Sadiq Khan, who Trump has feuded with, says Trump is not welcome in his city. He’s even gone so far as to approve a permit for a giant Trump baby balloon to float above the Palace of Westminster.

Trump Baby is a cartoonish depiction of Trump as an infant (about the same age as migrant children he’s been throwing into baby prisons). The floating caricature looks angry, is wearing diapers, and holding a cell phone. Organizers set a fundraising goal of $20,000 for the Trump Baby, which they surpassed. Apparently, more people in London want to see Trump Baby than the real man baby.

Some people in the UK don’t like it. UKIP leader Nigel Farage said the plan was “the biggest insult to a sitting US President ever.” Maybe he’s not a history buff and is unaware of the time Britain literally burned down the White House.

Though Trump Baby has been approved by the mayor’s office, it still needs permits from the National Air Traffic Service and the Metropolitan Police.

According to people close to Trump who like to leak embarrassing details about their boss, he really hates being called or treated like a baby, which is really odd because he expects to be coddled everywhere he goes. He’s even planning some alone coddling time with Vladimir Putin during their summit in Finland next week. Maybe they can get a honeymoon suite at the Helsinki Hilton.

Since the organizers exceeded their fundraising goal, they plan to send Trump Baby on a world tour. The plan is to have the balloon haunt Trump wherever he goes. I think Tom Steyer, the impeach Trump guy, should spend his billions on funding Trump Baby’s journey. It’d be a more effective way of trolling Trump than those commercials, and funnier too.  Perhaps your city could float its own Trump Baby as a Trump deterrent.

It may also keep scarecrows out of your cornfields.

Watch me draw.

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Toodle Pip, EU


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I’m a fan of British humor. From Monty Python to The Young Ones to The Three Flavours Cornetto Trilogy to the first two Beatles movies. One of the biggest aspects of the humor, or “humour” to me is the slang. American slang sucks compared to the English, especially when it comes to insults.

Donald Trump might have learned that Friday if he had the capability to comprehend and learn stuff.

On Friday after the Brexit vote Trump sent out a tweet while he was promoting his failing golf club in Scotland. There’s no larger evidence that Trump’s presidential campaign is more about his brand than policies than him taking a break to promote a failing golf club overseas.

I digress. Trump celebrated the United Kingdom leaving the European Union, even though he probably doesn’t understand it. He had it explained to him a few weeks ago on live television. Now he thinks it’s a great development. His tweet stated “Just arrived in Scotland. Place is going wild over the vote. They took their country back, just like we will take America back. No games!”

The most ignorant thing about Trump’s tweet is that Scotland voted 62% to 38% to stay in the EU. One clever twitter user replied to Trump’s tweet with “Scotland voted Remain, you weapons-grade plum.”

It didn’t stop there. Please forgive the not safe for family newspaper language here but further insults were:

Delete your golf course.

Scotland voted Remain you muppet.

Scotland voted to stay you numpty.

Scotland voted to remain, you tit.

Oi, buttplug face, Scotland are pro-EU.

Scotland voted overwhelmingly to stay in Europe you toupéd fucktrumpet

SCOTLAND VOTED TO STAY, YOU WITLESS FUCKING COCKSPLAT!

No, they aren’t you cockwomble.

Scotland voted remain  you incomprehensible jizztrumpet.

Scotland voted stay & plan on a second referendum, you tiny fingered, Chetto-faced, ferret wearing shitgibbon.

Scotland hates both Brexit and you, you mangled apricot hellbeast.

They voted remain you spoon.

To top his day off, one Scottish protester dropped golf balls all around him at his press conference. The golf balls were emblazoned with Swastikas. Too bad Corey Lewandowski had been fired and wasn’t there to rough the Scot up.

Trump is a spoon. A great big touped, Chetto-faced spoon.

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