Emmanuel Macron

Tickle Me NATO


cjones12072019

Do you remember Trump’s campaign promise to make the world laugh at us to the point that he’d leave NATO summits early in a snit? Me neither.

In fact, Trump claimed that under Obama, the world was laughing at us and his presidency would end it. And then…the world literally laughed in his face.

During a speech before the United Nations, the entire congregation erupted in laughter at him. The reason being, you say stupid shit, people laugh at you. Trump, who was used to speaking before large audiences of stupid people at his hate rallies, claimed he had accomplished more than nearly any other president before him. Later, he claimed they were laughing “with him.” Someone who confuses respect with being manipulated would say something like that.

No, Donald. They’re not laughing with you. The reason the world is laughing at you, and everyone who supports you, is because you’re a ridiculous, stupid human being. You’re orange. Your hair doesn’t resemble anything that would grow on a human scalp. You’re racist. You’re an idiot. You’re a liar. You say stupid shit.

Trump says stupid shit to the point world leaders notice and laugh about it. As Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau was caught on a hot mic saying, it makes your staff’s jaws drop to the floor. Trudeau was referring to Trump publicly stating at the last G7 summit that he’d host the next one at one of his crappy, bedbug-ridden golf resorts.

Later, Trump said Trudeau was “two-faced” for the comments. This from a man who throws people under the bus. This from the guy who later claims his indicted campaign manager didn’t work on his campaign very long, or that another indicted staffer was just a coffee boy, or that he barely knows an ambassador who donated a million dollars to his inauguration committee. This from a guy who was recorded by Omarosa stating her firing was a surprise to him. This from a coward who has other people do his firing. This from a guy who has cheated on each of his three wives.

Trump’s hypocrisy was in full swing at this NATO summit without “summit” in the name because an official summit would require a joint statement which Trump would only fuck up.

Trump said the statement that NATO was suffering “brain death” from France’s President Emmanuel Macron was “nasty.” Never mind the fact that Trump has insulted every member of the alliance and called it “obsolete” while cuddling close to Putin. Trump has acted more like a member of the Warsaw Pact than like a member of NATO.

But then again, Trump doesn’t understand NATO as he’s speculated on Brazil becoming a member. NATO stands for North Atlantic Treaty Organization and is a European-North American alliance. In case you’re a Republican, Brazil is in SOUTH America and isn’t on the North Atlantic. If anything, Trump should speculate on Ukraine becoming a member of NATO, but that would upset Putin. Instead, he’d rather invite Putin to join the European Union.

The hot mic exchange didn’t just involve Trudeau with underlings. It was between him, Macron, Princess Anne, and even Boris Johnson, who many expected would be a Trump acolyte. What’s next, Boris cracking on Trump’s hair?

Fox News’ Laura Ingraham blared that it’s “great news” other nations are laughing at us because they’re “elite.” OK then. Why wasn’t it “great” when they were supposedly laughing at us during a Democratic administration? It’s hard to spin being laughed at.

I hope Trump being laughed at would be enlightening to his supporters, just as being called out for his lies while seated next to Macron should be. But Trump supporters aren’t capable of enlightenment.

Trump said during his presidential campaign, “We need a President who isn’t a laughingstock to the entire World.” He was right then and maybe it’s another reason to impeach this laughingstock.

When Trump says stupid shit like claiming windmill noise causes cancer, his supporters try to explain it as a joke, which is ironic since they don’t get they are the joke. They voted for the joke. They’re supporting the joke. Trump and his supporters are only inadvertently funny.

America’s stock has gone down since we became a laughingstock. For Trump and his supporters, they literally need laughter translated to understand they are the joke.

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New Book: Tales From The Trumpster Fire

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G7 Pardon


cjones06132018

Before he stepped on Obama’s airplane to head to the G7 summit in Canada, Trump took questions from a few reporters and said that Russian President Vladimir Putin really wanted Hillary Clinton to win the election, and he, Trump, was his worst nightmare.

I don’t know about you but my nightmares consist of stuff, like spiders, finding myself naked in high school, falling off a cliff, Nickelback dressed as clowns, a hotdog with ketchup, you know….real terrifying stuff. Nightmares are not dreams of getting everything you want.

For Putin, that’s an American president who undermines democratic institutions like a free press while destabilizing NATO and our alliances in addition to spilling classified information to Russian spies in the Oval Office. Now, Trump is at the G7 campaigning for Russia to be invited back, which kicked Putin out for annexing Crimea.

What in the world could Hillary Clinton have given Putin to make him happier? Neck massages? Scratch that, because Trump may have already done that.

Trump was very eager to fight with leaders of our allies, like Canada’s Justin Trudeau and France’s Emmanuel Macron…on Twitter and through the press. Now that he’s actually face to face, he arrived late, and he’s leaving early. That’s because Donald Trump is a coward.

What does it say about our nation’s president who’s afraid of our allies but eager to get on a plane and arrive early for a date with the dictator of North Korea?

If Trump has prepared very little for meeting Kim Jong Un (who we hope is as dumb as Trump), the only thoughts he put into his trip to the G7 was how to get out of it. Reportedly, he asked aides if his presence was absolutely necessary and asked if he could cancel at the last minute.

Trump is now showing the entire world he belongs to Putin. At this rate, he may have to register as a foreign lobbyist. If Putin really wanted Clinton to win the presidency, he would have sent spies to her campaign HQ to dish dirt and had Wikileaks hack Trump. The only problem would have been Clinton’s refusal to collude with Russia because some people don’t want to commit treason.

You have to ask yourself what exactly does Putin have on Trump? That pee tape must be really nasty.

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Primitive Diplomacy


cjones04282018

Yesterday, pundits in the news were asking, how can Donald Trump say nice things about Kim Jong Un? Trump said the guy, who had his uncle shot and his brother murdered, was behaving honorably.  But, saying nice things about someone is Trump’s way of coaxing. He believes it works on other people because it works on him. Because, at that moment sitting next to him was the President of France saying nice things about him.  I’m sure in France a lot of people are asking Emmanuel Macron how can he say nice things about Trump.

You’d think the leader buddying up with Trump, hugging, holding hands, cheek-kissing, and being all sorts of awkward would be from Russia, Turkey, the Philippines, China, or Texas. Right? Not France, where Trump’s likability rating is probably lower than it is in Boston.

But, Macron is willing to be nice to Trump in order to get what he wants, which is American troops staying in Syria, the U.S. back in the Paris Climate Agreement, and to retain the treaty with Iran that prevents them from acquiring nukes. Macron must be better than most people because he even allowed Trump to pretend to brush dandruff off his shoulder. Most people would have slapped his tiny orange fingers. Even Melania, who sleeps in a separate bedroom and an entirely different state when she can, won’t let him hold her hand.

And what was up with that dandruff thing? Trump brushed Macron’s shoulder and said “We have to make him perfect.” It wasn’t just awkward but another internationally embarrassing moment where they keep accumulating.

The Washington Post’s Ashley Parker interviewed body language expert Patti Wood on that moment. Wood said, “The interactions throughout the visit largely fall under a category known as gamesmanship.” According to Wood, Trump did something called “primate grooming.” Yeah, that sounds about right.

Wood added “It said, ‘We have an intimate relationship, but I’m dominant, I’m the alpha gorilla, I’m going to groom you. But I’m going to criticize you by saying you have dandruff, and I’m going to do that on the world stage and see how you handle that.”

Well, Shit. I didn’t need a body language expert to tell you that Trump was acting like an ape. Quite frankly, would it astonish anyone at this point if he started flinging poo?

I am concerned about the embarrassment Trump brought to our nation, France, and gorillas.

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