EmailGate

Breaking Blackberrys With Brady


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I didn’t really have much of an issue with the FBI’s report from their interview with Hillary Clinton other than her breaking Blackberrys. Is it “Blackberrys” or “Blackberries” when it’s plural for the product? Much like with the FBI report I’m not going to lose sleep over it.

A lot of people are making a big deal that Hillary responded with “I can’t remember” 40 times. Most of those were to answers over specific emails she received years ago. I can’t remember emails I received earlier today.

A lot of times I’ll open an email and see it’s really long and I kinda scan it, close it, and move on with my life. A day later I think I should probably respond because it’s a fan and it’s not like I have a lot of those and then I scroll through my inbox trying to find it. It’s brutal. If you’re one of those who sends me those, sorry. It’s not you, it’s me. I’m gonna get a few emails about this paragraph. I’ll at least get one about that whole Blackberry plural thing. I do appreciate that anyone wants to spend time writing me. I just suck. I don’t even like answering my phone.

If you ask me any details about the content of an email I probably won’t remember unless it was about payment or a cartoon reprint. I do that with actual verbal conversations in the real world too. Ask my friend.

The report mentioned that Hillary had staffers destroy her Blackberry with a hammer. Apparently it’s not uncommon to see someone outside the state department destroying a communication device. I’m not clear on how many phones were destroyed. I have an old Nokia stuck someplace in storage from 2003 and it has company from every cell phone I’ve owned between then and today.  There’s stuff on those devices I don’t want anyone to see. Mostly drunk texts. But it never occurred to me that I should destroy them. Probably not a bad idea.

It occurred to Tom Brady. During inflategate he had a ball boy or some locker room minion destroy his cell phone with texts regarding his balls. Brett Favre once had the same issue but that was over a different type of balls.

I thought it might be a fun time to pick on Tom Brady again since the NFL’s regular season starts Thursday and Tom is suspended from playing the first four games. He’s like the Dallas Cowboys all by himself because no one is ambivalent about the guy. They either hate him with a passion or they want to have his babies.

My last few cartoons were kinda heavy and dealt with race issues so today I wanted to take it a little easier. I don’t want my clients destroying the devices they use to receive my cartoons.

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Hacking Hillary


cjones05272016

Right now Hillary Clinton might prefer talking about Bill Clinton’s philandering than her email server.

A State Department watchdog issued a report that Hillary Clinton violated rules over her use of a private server. We all knew that. What we did not know was the extent of it.

Clinton claims she had approval to use her personal server which was stored in her New York home’s basement. She didn’t. She claims she’s happy to talk to anyone at anytime about the issue, yet she declined to talk to the Inspector General during their investigation. Several of her aides also declined, with one not even responding to the request.

John Bentel, director of the Office of Information Resources Management, declined to be interviewed during the investigation. When a staffer raised concerns that Hillary’s email violated rules, he told the staffer never to speak of it again. It’s like Fight Club over at the State Department.

It’s so much like Fight Club, that only a few people were even aware Clinton was using a private server. She refused to use a  State email and even refused to release her email address to the State Department. The senior officials outside of her privileged circle who became aware of her private email, only became aware because her emails to them originated from a rotating cluster of private clintonemail.com addresses. That sounds more like the habit of a drug dealer buying a new cell phone and number at Walmart every week.

Clinton claims her server was safe from hackers, but it turns out there were several attempts to break into her email. Clinton didn’t report these attempts to the State Department and apparently took them about as seriously as those emails from that Nigerian Prince (Nigeria is not a monarchy, by the way).

It is extremely difficult for a presidential candidate to fight the perception of being dishonest by being dishonest. It also gives Donald Trump more leeway to use the nickname “Crooked Hillary” even though he doesn’t really understand the issue.

Now with all this bad stuff, what does this mean for Clinton? It means she violated a rule and that’s really it legally. This isn’t a criminal offense. It’s a stupid offense. You can use this to determine whether you should vote for her or not. I would rather live with Clinton’s dishonesty than Trump’s. At least Clinton knows what she’s lying about.

Yes, the State Department’s email system is extremely convoluted and inept. Yes, other Secretaries had personal emails, but the rules change every few years. Blackberries weren’t in widespread use during Colin Powell’s tenure (did they even exist at the time?) and Condoleeza Rice claims she never used email, which I find amazing (I have only one friend who’s not on any social media and even he emails though it’s a real pain explaining twitter, hashtags and trending to him. I’m not even gonna attempt to explain “poking”).

Most of the people who will use this EmailGate brouhaha are like Donald Trump, and they don’t really understand it. It is complex and conservatives don’t do well with intricacies. While there isn’t any criminal level transgression here, the larger issue is Clinton’s candor.

I don’t really care about her emails or server. I do care about the honesty. I believe she’s evasive with answers because she doesn’t believe she should be bothered with the questions. Trump lies because he’s pathological and actually believes his lies and that he’s still in the business of selling steaks, even while he’s replacing the food mart labels with Trump labels. Trump is likely to tell us he’s 20 feet tall, and believe that he’s 20 feet tall, and that we should all go fact check it. When you ask him about it tomorrow he’ll talk about Monica Lewinsky or refer to Elizabeth Warren as Pocahontas.

Hillary Clinton will be president. There will be more dishonesty. There will be scandals, which will be a huge change after the scandal free Obama administration (yes, you wingnuts. Scandal free). Bill Clinton will break something. But a Hillary Clinton presidency will not destroy the nation like a Donald Trump presidency will. I would vote for Mitt Romney and that agenda of everything I’m against before I could poison my nation with the buffoonery of Donald Trump.

Your issues in this presidential election may be Emails, Benghazi, Bill Clinton’s greatest sexcapades of the 1990’s. The biggest and most dangerous issue is Donald Trump. You should email this blog and cartoon to one of his supporters.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

OJ’s Knife


cjones03052016

Breaking news! They found a knife that was found years ago on O.J. Simpson’s former Brentwood property. The knife may or may not be connected to the murder of O.J’s former wife and her friend Ron Goldman. The case has never been closed but O.J. can’t be tried again. Double jeopardy.

I was thinking how Republicans like to blame Hillary for everything, and the FBI furthering their investigation into her email server this week. They offered immunity to the geek who installed the server in her home. While the FBI is at it maybe they should have him take a crack at that iPhone.

I drew this pretty quickly. I need some sleep.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Meet The New Boss


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Same as the old boss.

What’s a gaffe in Washington? When a politician accidentally speaks the truth.

Examples are Republicans admitting that voter ID laws are only created to decrease votes for Democrats, or when Mitch McConnell admitted Senate and House Republicans only interest was to make Obama a one-term president. Then there was that time on the campaign trail Mitt Romney said he didn’t care about the 47% (because they felt they were victims and were entitled to the government for free stuff).

Good politics doesn’t always equal good government.

California congressman Kevin McCarthy is probably going to replace John Boehner as Speaker of the House. What he said Wednesday isn’t really a gaffe or a freudian slip (saying something you’re thinking that you shouldn’t say) since he meant to say it, which he later tried to clarify. He stated that the Benghazi investigations, which they created a special committee for, is part of a strategy to destroy Hillary Clinton politically. Well we knew that. It’s just surprising that big mouth actually fessed up to it.

His actual quote is “Everybody thought Hillary Clinton was unbeatable, right? But we put together a Benghazi special committee, a select committee. What are her numbers today? Her numbers are dropping. Why? Because she’s untrustable. But no one would have known any of that had happened, had we not fought.”

I wonder if Republicans get the irony where he says we can’t trust Hillary Clinton while he admits they’re wasting government money on personal vendettas.

Right now Hillary is sending probably sending him an Amazon gift card as a gift for his new office. Thanks for the new right-wing conspiracy.

Of course politics is always played in government and legislating but at some point our elected officials should actually attempt to legislate. Stop all the pointless investigations into Benghazi, email and Planned Parenthood and stop wasting time trying to vote out Obamacare. Stop wasting our money on your frivolous little adventures.

I started to put a label on John Boehner but I didn’t like the way it looked. Besides, he’s orange. He’s smoking a cigarette. Screw it. The readers should know it’s John Boehner. I’m really going to miss drawing him. All I’ve done over the past few years was draw an orange Bob Dole with a cigarette.

Have you ever seen the Speaker’s gavel? It’s symbolically huge. It’s like Thor’s hammer here and Kevin McCarthy isn’t worthy.

I’m gonna try something new for a while:

About a year ago I set up a tip bucket (it’s on the right side of this page). About a week after setting it up someone actually gave me a tip. Cool. Since then, nothing else. Aw.

Several months ago I allowed WordPress to put ads on my page. I figured nobody would look at them. I never look at ads. I kill them on news pages as soon as possible. They’re annoying. But somebody must be looking at them. WordPress surprised me yesterday and deposited a payment into my Paypal account. I was impressed. Not impressed with the amount of the payment but just the mere fact there was one. This website has now officially paid for itself (though not for the time and maintenance, just the costs).

A friend who looks at this website every single day said “hey, you should put up a tip bucket.” I said there is a tip bucket. She had never noticed it before. So maybe nobody’s seeing it.

I don’t like asking for money. I have never advertised it. Nobody owes me anything and I’m glad you’re reading the cartoons for free. But it’s hard to eat when nobody pays you. Right now I am making my living on newspapers mailing me tiny monthly checks. Occasionally I get a commissioned assignment to create a cartoon or illustration for a publication. Some of my clients are very lackadaisical about putting a check in the mail. Most of them get around to it but sometimes they wait three months, or longer and they need a nudge. Enough whining.

If you want show appreciation financially and you have a few bucks, anything contributed is appreciated. It’s appreciated a LOT. I know most people can’t and a lot of my readers are scraping by themselves.  But all contributions won’t just feed me and a Beagle and go toward rent. It will also go toward pens, paper and other assorted art and computer supplies. I’m not going to go on a shopping spree even though I my Converse have holes and I haven’t bought a new shirt or jeans in over two years. Really. Now I’m done whining.

I’m going to start posting a note (for a while at least) about the Paypal tip button. I’ll make it short.

Whether you tip or not, thank you very much for reading, laughing, hating, cursing, liking, commenting and sharing. It’s all greatly appreciated. Thank you.

Hillary’s Apology


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I don’t like the direction Republicans want to take us. I think that’s been made pretty clear by now. That doesn’t mean I love every Democrat. I’m not excited about any of the Democratic Party candidates. I don’t think Hillary Clinton is an honest person.

She’s not honest and she comes with a bit of sleaze. And yet, she’s a better candidate than any of the Republicans. It’s quality over quantity in this race.

Though I’m not in love with Hillary, I do respect that she has survived everything the GOP has thrown at her. Remember Newt Gingrich? He tried to destroy her when she was First Lady. He’s gone. She’s still here. She’s had over 20 years of Republicans heaping crap on her. She has survived fake scandal after fake scandal one after another.

Benghazi has turned into nothing after multiple Republican hearings and investigations. Hell, Republicans spent over $40 million of our money investigating her husband for a bad land transaction and all they got was a lie about oral sex, proving the investigation wasn’t for truth, but to destroy a presidency.

Concerning the email issue, I don’t think Hillary Clinton owes an apology. If she didn’t break the law then why should she apologize? Because it’s a distraction? I would rather George W. Bush and Karl Rove apologize first for all the White House emails they destroyed before Hillary has to apologize.

The email issue makes people think she’s not honest. I knew she wasn’t honest before that. So did you. But it’s not going to make anyone not vote for her. Anyone who says otherwise wasn’t going to vote for her anyway.

The biggest question for those after Hillary’s emails is this: What do you think are in the emails? You don’t hear that. They want the emails even though they don’t have a clue what’s in them. They don’t want the emails. They want the topic to keep breathing.

I’m more concerned about Hillary not taking a position on important issues, or taking a dangerous position on important issues. I am more troubled that she’s polling for her positions. I have problems she won’t take questions from the press. I’m not concerned about her email.

If the GOP found out she rented The Notebook back in 2004 and didn’t return it to Blockbuster they’d demand the receipt and would want to know if she forced Bill to watch it.

What is Ken Starr doing nowadays?