Donald Trump Jr

Collusion Over Coffee


cjones11162017

It’s been a very busy week for bullshit.

First, Vladimir Putin told Trump he didn’t have anything to do with Russia meddling in our election. As if, Russia had Wikileaks hack into the DNC, made attempts to hack into voting systems, placed ads on Facebook and Twitter, sent Russians to hang out with Trump sycophants, and unleashed troll farms, all without Putin being aware of it. Worse yet, Trump believed him.

Then, Jeff Sessions is questioned by Congress again, and tells us his previous lies weren’t lies. There were a lot of “I don’t recalls,” and he explained how he suddenly remembers telling Papadopoulos not to go to Russia at a meeting he doesn’t remember attending.

I’m not sure this administration can match Reagan’s with “I don’t recalls,” but they may beat them in indictments.

And then…Donald Trump Jr, who got really upset every time someone accused the campaign of colluding with Russia, revealed yet another incident of his collusion with Russia.

During the campaign, Jr. was trading messages back and forth with Wikileaks through Twitter. They even asked Jr. to give them his father’s tax returns so they could leak it and pretend they weren’t just going after the Clinton campaign. Wink wink. Nudge nudge.

Wikileaks suggested to Jr. that Trump not concede if he lost, and should challenge the results (which he still did after winning). Jr. even emailed Steve Bannon, Kellyanne Conway, and Jared Kushner to tell them Wikileaks just made contact. Jared forwarded that email to Hope Hicks. How often have we seen Kellyanne on TV denying there was any collusion with Russia? Maybe twice?

In keeping with his strategy of not knowing when to shut up, Jr. tweeted out, “Here is the entire chain of messages with @wikileaks9 with my whopping 3 responses) which one of the congressional committees has chosen to selectively leak. How ironic!”

How terrible it must be when someone leaks proof you’re full of shit and a traitor.

Uh, Jr….the fact you replied even once can be described as a whopper. What else can be defined as whopperistic are your denials of collusion. If you were actually transparent you would have revealed this a very long time ago, at least around the time you were calling people liars who accused you of colluding. Or maybe, you could have revealed this after everyone found out you were hosting Russians who were promising dirt on Hillary in Trump Tower.

Jeff Sessions once said “good people don’t smoke marijuana,” but potheads have a better memory than these guys.

People are starting to think maybe Eric isn’t the dumb one after all. At this point, I’m starting to think Carter Page might be related.

Meanwhile, wingnuts are destroying Keurig coffee makers because the company pulled advertising from Sean Hannity’s show when that guy helped deflect Roy Moore’s pedophilia.

Destroying coffee makers should please Kellyanne Conway, who believes kitchen appliances can spy on us.

It’s hard to get cartoon ideas on people who are already cartoons.

Creative notes: Shortish blog today because I need to write ideas for two commissioned projects. Also, I’m not sure if this cartoon is good at all. But, sometimes I’ll go with something if it makes me laugh and I can have fun with it. It’s hard to tell sometimes when you don’t get your idea until 5:00 AM.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Advertisements

Pardon The Sibling Rivalry


cjones07132017

Perhaps the most ironic part of the Donald Trump Jr. story is that proof the Trump campaign colluded with Russia is an email. How delightful.

Junior has gotten himself in deeper legal trouble, his brother-in-law could be facing five years for falsifying his security clearance, Trump’s campaign has to find a new defense other than “fake news” and “witch hunts,” and every journalist in the nation can now enunciate “Veselnitskaya” (John Cleese was right in “A Fish Called Wanda.” Russian does sound sexy).

Donald Jr. tweeted out copies of the email informing him that a Russian wanted to give him information from the Russian government that would hurt Hillary Clinton and aid his father’s presidential campaign. The subject line actually contained the words “Russia,” “Clinton,” “private,” and “confidential.” All that was missing was being CC’ed to Robert Mueller. I’m guessing Junior’s lawyer was in the bathroom for two minutes when that email was posted. What did you do???

The email proves what the Trump campaign has denied for months. Meetings and collusion with Russia. At the very least, it proves Donald Trump Jr. was giddy to receive information from the Russian government. He actually replied, “I love it.” That was not his response shortly after this meeting when he referred to anyone who suggested Russia and Putin wanted Trump to win as “disgusting” and without “morals.” Trump Junior talking about other people’s morals is like his father grading women on their looks.

Junior went where all Trump team members go when they need to lie to the public and the host won’t question them, Sean Hannity over at Fox News (who in the past has dismissed ties between Trump and Russia as “fantasy”). Don Jr. professed his love for America and that he would have turned the information over to the FBI if it was valuable. That does not explain why he told his contact “I love it.” Junior also said that this meeting occurred before everyone was talking about Russia as if he was into treason before it was cool. He’s old-school treason. He also said he’s not responsible for the emails he gets. Yeah, but you are kinda responsible for the replies you send, specifically when they say “I love it!” and “let’s have a meeting and I’ll CC Jared and Paul on this.”

Junior said, “In retrospect, I probably would have done things a little differently.” That sounds like the sort of excuse someone would use for keeping an improper email server.

Junior wants props for releasing the emails to the public as if that’s evidence of his integrity. The fact is, he only released the emails after being informed by The New York Times that they were about to publish them.

Trump Senior’s first defense of his son was a statement through Sarah Huckabee Sanders which was “he’s a high quality person,” as if he’s a toaster that can toast bread better than an average toaster. Other than that, Trump was unusually quiet on Twitter. There are reports that there’s full-fledged rancor, chaos, and bedlam at the White House. So it’s a typical Tuesday in Trumpville.

The email also proves Junior was lying over the weekend when he said that he did not tell Paul Manafort and his brother-in-law Jared Kushner, what the meeting was about because he forwarded it to them. I’m sure they’ll both send him a thank-you-card in the near future. Junior is that guy who’ll come knocking at your door with a bag of weed knowing the cops are following him. I have a real scum-sucking-shit-weasel-afraid-to-get-a-job bastard for one of my brothers-in-law, and I haven’t implicated him in a case of treason (though I have testified in court against one my sisters’ boyfriends, who keyed my car after he got out of prison).

There have been leaks from anonymous sources that Junior was not looked upon with great admiration the Trump campaign. Staffers frequently referred to him as “Fredo,” as in Fredo Corleone, the insecure and weak failure of a son in The Godfather. I think Daddy Trump wishes he had Fredo whacked months ago. If you’re in an office betting pool over which Trump offspring would doom the Trump presidency, you wanted Donald Jr. (Just like with March Madness when I get stuck with McNeese State, I got Barron).

This also opened up not just Junior, but Manafort and Kushner to blackmail. If Junior is susceptible to blackmail, so is Senior. How far will Donald Trump go to protect his son? I kinda expect the elder Donald to eventually go “Donald Jr. who? Never heard of him.”

The Trump campaign has denied colluding with Russia. Now there’s proof of collusion. Their defense now is that collusion is not illegal. It took a year for this evidence to show up. I wonder what other icebergs are out there waiting to sink this Titanic of a presidency.

The Congressional investigations might be playing off the press, but I don’t believe the FBI or Special Counsel is relying on The New York Times and The Washington Post to do all their work for them. What do they know what we don’t at this point?

Donald Trump Sr., left his business, The Trump Organization, in the hands of Junior and Eric. I really hope for his sake that Eric is the smart one.

Creative Note: I want to thank my friend, Quannah Santiago for helping me by proofing the text and making a very helpful suggestion which I did use. Thanks, Quannah.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $50 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Shat In The Hat


cjones12232016

Before Theodor Seuss Geisel, AKA Dr. Seuss, ever wrote his first children’s book he drew political cartoons. He was pretty liberal also so maybe he’d appreciate my use of his iconic Cat In The Hat while also being horrified by a Donald Trump presidency.

Donald Trump Jr. and his brother Eric attempted to sell access to their father. There were packages with price tags of $500,000 and $1 million bucks to get near the president, tell him how awesome he is on inauguration day, and you could purchase a hunting trip to slaughter big game animals with the Trump boys (in case you need to overcompensate for something like the Trump men). There was also an auction to have coffee with their sister, Ivanka.

While the money was aimed at charity it was another charity that Donald Trump, the president-elect, criticized during the campaign for selling access to the Clintons. Of course the Trump family is no stranger to hypocrisy when it comes to charities or criticism. As Trump was lambasting the Clintons and their foundation and claiming it made them rich, he was using his own Foundation to purchase expensive souvenirs and portraits of himself. See? Overcompensating for something. Probably those small fingers. Those itty bitty teensy weensy most likely useless fingers.

I wanted to do a cartoon with a Christmas metaphor despite my hatred for them. I know several of my clients would appreciate it. I had an idea of the Trump sons drawn as elves selling access to sit on their father’s laps. Then a colleague of mine published a cartoon with that very same metaphor. He even had the boys drawn as elves. Now I’m glad I didn’t go with it.

I still had the desire to do something with Christmas as time is running out and I think my criticism of so many cartoonists using The Grinch (another Dr. Seuss creation) might have directed my brain to process using the Cat In The Hat…which doesn’t have anything to do with Christmas. My brain works in a very weird way. I do like the Thing One and Thing Two description for Eric and Jr. Bill Maher likes to refer to them as Uday and Qusay.

Drawing Thing One, Thing Two, the hat, and the fish, wasn’t too difficult. The most complicated part of this was trying to letter with Dr. Seuss’s font. THAT…was a pain in the butt.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, etc.. The starving cartoonist appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Skittles


cjones09212016

I almost drew a Skittles cartoon last night but I wanted to see how much news coverage it received today. It received a LOT. One of my best friends and fellow cartoonist tagged me on Facebook baiting me to draw a Skittles cartoon. I almost passed but I couldn’t resist.

Donald Trump Jr. posted a meme on Twitter (say no to memes, people) which posted a picture of Skittles, and asked “If I had a bowl of skittles and I told you just three would kill you. Would you take a handful?” First off, I wouldn’t eat any because I don’t like Skittles. They taste like a rainbow-covered ass. Second, Junior was using this argument to refuse Syrian refugees from entering our nation. Junior, people are not candy. The child famously photographed in the ambulance after a bombing in Aleppo is not to be equated with candy. The child who washed up dead on a beach in Greece is not to be equated with candy.

Even the Wrigley Company which owns Skittles was disturbed by the failed analogy and they rebuked Junior by telling him refugees are not to be equated with candy.

Trump has proven himself to be hateful and heartless. He’s raised his children to share his world outlook. Junior is a spoiled-rich frat boy with an executive position handed to him by his father. Last week Junior said the media has been Clinton’s “number one surrogate,” letting her slide “on every indiscrepancy, on every lie, on every DNC game trying to get Bernie Sanders out” of the way. He added, “If Republicans were doing that, they’d be warming up the gas chamber right now.” These are terrible people, Junior specifically.

The analogy also fails as you have a very slim chance of being killed by a refugee. You have a better chance of being struck by lightning, bitten by a shark, or Donald Trump contributing to a charitable cause out of his own pocket.

With the extremely low odds of being killed by a refugee a bowl of Skittles doesn’t cut it. You would need three Olympic-sized swimming pools full of Skittles with three of them being poisonous to accurately compare it to the odds of being killed by a refugee. Taste that rainbow.

I’m sure the analogy will work with Trump supporters. We already know they’re racist and low-informed. It’s not like they need facts to support their candidate. Skittles’ slogan is “taste the rainbow.” Trump and his people are afraid of rainbows.

Here’s a piece of irony for you: The photograph of the Skittles used without permission in the tasteless meme was taken…wait for it….by a refugee.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Enabler


cjones05112016

Just in case anyone doesn’t believe Donald Trump is a truly horrible, hideous, impersonation of a human being, he’s taken to blaming Hillary Clinton for her husband’s infidelity. At a rally Trump accused Hillary Clinton of trying to “destroy the lives” of her husband’s accusers. “She was an unbelievably nasty, mean enabler, and what she did to a lot of those women is disgraceful,” he said. Of course he didn’t offer any evidence.

Where would someone get the impression that Hillary Clinton tried to destroy the lives of her husband’s accusers? From the accusers of course.

I’m not a fan of attempting to discredit those who claim sexual harassment, abuse, and rape. I support investigating the charges. But when those making the accusations are selling books, interviews and nude layouts, well…let’s take a look at these accusers attacking Hillary.

Gennifer Flowers has made the claim that Hillary enabled Bill. Flowers definitely had an affair with Clinton but can’t offer any evidence that Hillary was aware of the affair, or attempted to destroy her. Floweres profited from the affair, selling the story to Penthouse (along with a nude pictorial) and the tabloid Star Magazine. She also did the talk show circuit, wrote an autobiography, and starred in two movies and a TV show. She even put the answering machine tapes she claimed were from Bill Clinton up for auction. So hey, it’s not like there’s anything to gain and her word should totally be trusted, right?

Kathleen Willey claims Bill Clinton sexually assaulted her and that Hillary, wait for it, enabled it. That’s a very serious charge not to be taken lightly. After the alleged assault took place Willey sent 15 letters and 12 phone messages for President Clinton requesting further contact. Since then Willey also wrote a book about her and the president. Today Willey is the paid spokeswoman of an organization formed by Trump’s close friend and political adviser, Roger Stone, called Rape Pac, but it was formerly titled “Women Against Hillary.” Willey sounds credible to me (insert eye roll).

Juanita Broaddrick claims she was raped by Clinton. Guess who she says enabled that. Guess who Broaddrick is actively campaigning for? I’ll give you a hint: He has his own helicopter with his name on it, but he doesn’t sell steaks.

Paula Jones claims Clinton sexually harassed her while he was governor of Arkansas and that Hillary enabled it. She sued Clinton over it and and eventually settled out of court, after it was dismissed when Jones failed to demonstrate any damages. Later a donor paid for her to get rhinoplasty and she posed for Penthouse Magazine. She’s a vocal supporter of Donald Trump and even took a selfie with him.

What about Monica Lewinsky. She’s not campaigning for Trump and hasn’t done any nude layouts. I haven’t seen any evidence of her campaigning against Hillary. She avoided talking about her affair with Clinton for over a decade. She actually tried to hide from the public and when she finally wrote about it, for Vanity Fair, her article was more about the aftermath of the scandal and the bullying and public shaming she received. Regarding Hillary, Lewinsky wrote “I find her impulse to blame the Woman – not only me, but herself – troubling.” That doesn’t sound so much like attempting to destroy someone as much as it is about blaming. But let’s see, sleep with a man and his wife doesn’t have nice things to say about you. Go figure. You’d think Hillary would be buying her handbags.

Being betrayed can mentally abuse a person. They may lash out and even blame themselves. For another individual, an outsider, to blame the spouse is heartless and inhumane. Attempting to benefit politically is disgusting.

I suppose if the extent of your tax plan is “I’m going to tax the rich and they’ll pay much less money” then I suppose you’re going to state a lot of crap to distract. I mean, what if someone asked Trump about something specific? Even worse, what if someone asks the Donald about his own infidelities?

The Republican War On Women continues.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!