Donald Trump Jr

A Junior Sacrifice


cjones11132019

A few years ago, a special interest group asked me to draw a series of cartoons for them on climate change. They didn’t specify where they stood on climate change in their initial feeler, but I got the idea they wanted me to provide cartoons denying it. They didn’t even specify what they would do with the cartoons or where they would be published. Before I replied, I did a little digging (in case you’re a Republican, that’s research) and discovered the company was owned by a much larger company famous for pumping millions into Republican candidates, right-wing think tanks, and mostly into efforts fighting climate change legislation.

I declined for two reasons. The first reason is that I believe in climate change. Why did they seek me out? There are plenty of hack cartoonists out there who’d be willing to take their money. The other reason I declined is that working for them would have been unethical. Even though I draw cartoons, I’m still a journalist. I need to retain some independence, credibility, and integrity. This company wanted a series of cartoons and they were offering me a lot of money to do it. Did I make a sacrifice for principles? Sure. But you could also argue that if I did it and took the money, that I would have sacrificed something much costlier.

When I think about veterans, like my father, and those who died and are buried in Arlington National Cemetery (which is just up the road from where I live), I don’t think, “gee…I can relate. I sacrificed too because I turned down a money-making opportunity. I’m awesome.” What kind of ridiculous asshole would even think such a thing to compare losing money to lost lives? Donald Trump Jr. is that kind of ridiculous asshole.

Donald Trump Jr. has written a book. I know. Who knew he would even bother reading a book, less enough write one. It’s only about 300 pages, which someone with an adequate level of literacy could read in one sitting. It’s called, “Triggered: How the Left Thrives on Hate and Wants to Silence Us.” In it, Jr writes, “A victimhood complex has taken root in the American left,” while using all 300 pages to whine about how he, his father, and family have all be victimized.

In one passage from Triggered, Trumpy Jr. compares his “sacrifices” to those who have fought and died for our nation. He recounts a visit to Arlington National Cemetary and as Taps was playing, “In that moment, I also thought of all the attacks we’d already suffered as a family, and about all the sacrifices we’d have to make to help my father succeed — voluntarily giving up a huge chunk of our business and all international deals to avoid the appearance that we were ‘profiting off the office.”

Seriously, Jr? Hearing Taps make you think of lost money and not lost lives? At the very least, hearing Taps should have made you think of all the money you stole from veterans with your fake charity.

Author and Iraq War veteran Matt Gallagher tweeted at Jr., “Imagine going to Arlington … and being moved to think about money. You are a soup sandwich, @DonaldJTrumpJr, and my friends buried there would tell you the same thing.” A soup sandwich indeed.

Jr, you haven’t sacrificed shit. You haven’t even earned what you have less enough sacrificed to get it. You didn’t have to be the best to get into college. You didn’t have to be the best to get a job at your company. You didn’t have to be the best to get your position in that company. You don’t have to give good speeches to get speaking engagements. You don’t have to have any qualifications or accomplishments to go on talk shows. Hell, you didn’t even have to write a good book to get a book deal. Everything you have is because your name is Donald Trump. You have never had to need or want anything in your life. You’ve never had to work or accomplish anything to be where you are today. What the hell do you know about anything? You don’t even know how to be honest as just this week, a court has ordered you and your shithead siblings to attend classes to learn you’re not supposed to steal from charities.

This is the same guy who claimed he could make millions if his name was Hunter Biden. The guy who is currently making millions because he is literally named “Donald Trump.” And even his claim of a sacrifice is a lie because he’s still making foreign business deals. Has Hunter Biden ever stolen from a charity? Has a court ordered him to attend classes to learn that putting money meant for charitable causes into your own pocket is bad?

On top of all that, Jr should stop comparing himself to those who have served and actually sacrificed for our country. His father is a draft dodger. He never served and neither did his brother, Eric, or his brother-in-law, Jared, who are all making money off the presidency. People who served were shot at, Jr. When you go to Africa and shoot big game animals on a reserve, they’re not shooting back.

Obviously, Jr projects a lot. It must run in the family, just like being oblivious. The best example of him projecting and being oblivious is the fact his book is titled “Triggered.”

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Brains Don’t Work On The Girl


cjones11072019

The Trump kids, much like their father, are seriously out of their element when it comes to politics and well…anything that requires comprehension, consistency, and honesty. Donald Trump’s full-grown trust-fund babies are at their best when they ignore what’s actually going on, like when Jr. and Eric tweeted denials that their father was booed at a UFC event in New York over the weekend. It’s like that episode of The Simpsons, when a crowd boos Mr. Burns. His lackey, Mr. Smithers, tells his boss they’re not saying “boo.” They’re saying “Boo-urns.”

Last week, Donald Trump Jr., with a straight face, went on Hannity and said, “I wish my name was Hunter Biden. I could go abroad, make millions off of my father’s presidency. I’d be a really rich guy! It would be incredible!” If Sean Hannity was an actual journalist, he would have reminded Donald Trump Jr. that his name is Donald Trump Jr. DJTJ was on Hannity to promote his new book, “Triggered,” which, ironically, nobody would be interested in publishing or reading if his name wasn’t Donald Trump Jr.

On October 15, Eric Trump made the claim, “When my father became commander-in-chief of this country, we got out of all international business.” There are literally buildings in other countries with the Trump name on them. In fact, every time the Trump kids go on an overseas business deal, which they still do, taxpayers have to pay a bill for their protection.

Jared, who is in charge of Trump’s impeachment defense (good luck) and argues his father-in-law hasn’t “done anything wrong,” responded to Joe Biden’s criticism of him and Ivanka having jobs in the White House. Jared said, “He’s entitled to his opinion, but a lot of the work that the President’s had me doing over the last three years has actually been cleaning up the messes that Vice President Biden left behind.” It’s funny because Jared has no idea what he’s doing and someday in the future, someone’s going to be cleaning up the messes he left behind.

Then there’s Daddy’s princess, Ivanka. She decided to defend her father from the impeachment inquiry by comparing him to Jefferson…No, not George but Thomas. She took an eloquent quote from the third president and tweeted, “‘…surrounded by enemies and spies catching and perverting every word that falls from my lips or flows from my pen, and inventing where facts fail them.’ -Thomas Jefferson’s reflections on Washington, D.C. in a letter to his daughter Martha.
Some things never change, dad!”

There are several takes you can get from them. Jefferson is on the nickel and the closest honor Trump has to that is a baby balloon of him floating around the United Kingdom. Jefferson wrote the Declaration of Independence and Trump tweets out photoshopped pics of him placing medals on dogs. The best take from this is that Jefferson was responding to accusations he fathered a child with a slave…which he was guilty of at least six times. I don’t think the area of who Trump has slept with, or wants to sleep with, is one Ivanka should wade into. Ivanka should try to find a quote from someone defending themselves from fraudulent charges, like OJ.

Here’s the thing, pretend princess, when you Google a quote, don’t stop reading before you find the context. Perhaps, if you spent more time comprehending what you’re supposed to be doing as a “senior adviser” to the president instead of your public-image campaign of presenting yourself as the rational Trump with humility, you may accidentally stumble upon a clue.

These are just more examples of rich white people crying about how they’re constantly persecuted and life is so hard and unfair for them. If only the world would stop being mean to trust-fund babies.

But if you’re seeking a Jefferson quote, Sweatshop Barbie, I got one for you. Thomas Jefferson wrote, “Towards acquiring the confidence of the people the very first measure is to satisfy them of his disinterestedness, & that he is directing their affairs with a single eye to their good, & not to build up fortunes for himself & family: & especially that the officers appointed to transact their business, are appointed because they are the fittest men, not because they are his relations. So prone are they to suspicion that where a President appoints a relation of his own, however worthy, they will believe that favor, & not merit, was the motive.”

I know it’s kinda long so I’ll directly give you the point. Nepotism is bad. Still don’t understand it? You and your idiot husband only have positions in the White House because the president is your father. If you honestly believe you’re there because of your qualifications, then you are dumber than I could ever make you out to be.

But, since you’re seeking a Jefferson quote that fits your situation, I’ll provide another for you: “If I paid you to think, you could cash your check at the penny arcade.” That’s from George.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

The First Crime Family Condemns Crime Families


cjones10102019

Donald Trump Jr truly lives up to his namesake. Always eager to help his father lie and smear political enemies, he went after Hunter Biden last Wednesday. Trumpy Jr said that Hunter serving on a board of a Ukranian energy company while his father was vice president created the “appearance of impropriety” and represented a “clear conflict of interest.” Then, he gave a speech condemning pomade-abusing, trust-fund baby douchebags.

The Trump family believes they’re American royalty. What they are is royal hypocrites. I believe Washington political pundits have forgotten how to stare in stunned disbelief.

Melania Trump’s anti-cyberbullying campaign, “Be Best,” is best at being silent about her husband’s cyberbullying campaign, “Be Worst.” Still, it’s not as bad as Ivanka’s “Be Oblivious” campaign when it comes to her father and sexism. Ivanka is spearheading a women’s initiative in the White House, but it’s not in her initiative to comment when her dad said Megyn Kelly had “blood coming out of her whatever,” or when her dad called Rosie O’Donnell “fat little Rosie,” or when he endorsed an accused pedophile, or on the multiple on top of multiple sexual harassment and rape allegations against her dad, or whenever he attacks women of color, or when he calls Elizabeth Warren “Pocahontas,” or when he says “send them back,” or when he brags about grabbing women “by the pussy,” or, etc., etc.

So now Trump Jr says Hunter’s business dealings don’t look proper and are a conflict of interest. So how proper does it look when foreign diplomats book rooms at Trump hotels? How proper is it for Trump to make the U.S. government spend money at his golf resorts for 293 days, and counting, of his presidency? Does it not appear to be a conflict when he promotes his businesses from the platform of the presidency? There’s not a conflict in trying to host the next G7 Summit at Trump Doral? I suppose the United States government being the landlord to Trump’s Washington Hotel isn’t a conflict either. Don’t expect the attorney general to look into that as he just booked a $30,000 party at the hotel because none of the other hotels in D.C. met his requirements, such as having the name Trump on them.

Before Trump became president, he cut deals in some of the most corrupt places on the planet. Before she spearheaded that women’s initiative, Ivanka led a hotel development in Azerbaijan, ranked 152 out of 180 on Transparency International’s index of the world’s most corrupt countries, which is a nicer way of describing the nation than as a “shithole.” The partner in that project was the son of the nation’s transportation minister who’s linked to the Iranian Revolutionary Guard. In case you’re a Republican, they’re the bad guys.

The Trumps worked with the son of a former dictator on a proposed hotel project in Brazil. That one only collapsed after Trump was elected and prosecutors went after the partner for a scheme where he diverted pension funds into…wait for it…real estate developments. I know. You’re shocked to discover there’s gambling in this establishment.

How much foreign money came into Trump’s inauguration committee? The U.S. Attorney’s Office for the Southern District of New York is trying to find out. How much do the Trumps owe Deutsche Bank? How much of that is backed by Russians?

In Indonesia, the Trumps are building two resorts with a man who bought one of their L.A. mansions last summer. While Donald Trump is yelling for China to investigate Joe and Hunter Biden, their Indonesian project is partly funded by…you’re totally going to be shocked with this one…China.

China doesn’t have a reputation for respecting American brands’ claims on intellectual property rights. Yet they’ve granted daddy’s sweet little princess, Ivanka, 34 trademarks since daddy took office. Three of those were approved the day she and her father dined with China’s president at…try not to be shocked with this one…Mar-a-Lago. I wonder how much China spent on their stay at that resort.

The sister of Jared Kushner, Ivanka’s husband, promoted her family’s connections to Trump while marketing investment programs in Kushner-owned companies. After two years of trying to get new partners or financing for a New York City property at 666 (seriously) 5th Avenue, that a previous partner said “would be worth a lot more if it was just dirt,” a Canadian company with investment from Qatar (if you’re a Republican, Qatar is a country, not something you do to a chick that dares criticize Dear Leader) bailed the Kushners out by purchasing a 99-year lease on the building. Jared, who’s buds with Saudi Arabia’s crown prince, backed a Saudi-led blockade of Qatar. Some felt the Persian Gulf nation was attempting to influence Kushner to influence Trump. By the way, one of the Saudi demands of Qatar was that the nation close Al-Jazeera, a news outlet broadcasting throughout the Middle East that reports stuff they don’t want people to know.

You would think Don Jr would take a cue from Ivanka and Melania. They remain silent about Trump’s bullying and sexism, contradicting positions they pretend to be passionate over. Maybe Dumbass Jr should shut up about Hunter Biden.

I agree there is an appearance of a conflict when a vice president’s son serves on a foreign board. Even then, no law is being violated. But, if Hunter’s involvement is worthy of an “investigation,” then so are the Trumps foreign wheelings and dealings. I want to hear a reporter ask Donald Trump if China should investigate his kids’ business dealings. I want to hear the deflection he comes up with for that.

If Donald Trump really cares about fighting corruption, then maybe he should start in his own house, if he hasn’t sold it to an Arab prince yet.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Meanwhile, On Obama Avenue


cjones08282019

A petition that started off as a joke has now gained momentum and over 400,000 people have signed to rename a section of Fifth Avenue in front of Trump Tower to “Barack H. Obama Avenue.” As this would change the address for Trump’s penthouse, it’d also change it for his business, letterheads,  and each piece of mail delivered to Trump would have President Obama’s name on it. It would force Trump’s 2020 campaign to tell their Russian colluders to meet them at “Obama Avenue.”

Donald Trump has tried to rid the nation of Obamacare. He’s tried to change the name of Obamacare. He’s accused Obama of being born in Kenya and of wiretapping Trump Tower. He’s done everything he can to dismantle Obama’s legacy without once ever looking at policy details. He’s even accused Obama of messing up the air conditioning in the White House. Of course, he’s never given Obama credit for leaving him a great economy that even he hasn’t destroyed…yet.

There is a stumbling block to making Trump’s address 725 President Barack H. Obama Avenue. In New York City, the guidelines for renaming a street in Manhattan require the honoree be dead for at least two years, and the former president is very much alive. We don’t want to give Trump any ideas. But the rules allow exceptions and give the community board in Manhattan the discretion to disregard those guidelines in exceptional circumstances.

Keith Powers, the councilman who represents that address doesn’t like the idea. Not because he doesn’t want to disrespect Trump, but President Obama. He said, “I recognize and understand the great deal of support behind the petition to rename 5th Avenue in honor of President Obama. President Obama embodies the best of our political system and leaves a remarkable legacy. The classiest President of our time deserves better than being honored next to the home of Donald Trump. He has and will always deserve more than that.”

He has a point but it may be moot if renaming the street gives Trump a Twitter meltdown. Hell, it may be worth it if it makes Trump move out of New York City. New Yorkers do not like Donald Trump, probably because they have more experience with him than the rest of the country.

But it would be kind of an insult to President Obama. I’m also sure it’d be an insult to his daughters if we renamed Don Jr. and Eric to Sasha and Malia. If we changed Ivanka’s name to Bo, that’d be an insult to President Obama’s dog.

But if there’s a petition, where do I sign?

Support the cartoonist.

As I noted in a previous cartoon, these are perilous times for political cartoonists. But you can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print).I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch me draw.

Junior Birther


cjones07052019

Donald Trump is a racist and people who deny that are probably racists themselves.

Trump’s cultists are always asking while never listening to the answers; What makes you think Donald Trump is a racist? For the benefit of those idiots, here we go.

Donald Trump discriminated against black tenants and was sued by Nixon’s Justice Department for refusing to rent to black tenants in 1973. He lied to black tenants about apartments being unavailable. He is old school racist. Part of Trump’s defense of this was that the government was trying to get him to rent to welfare recipients. There’s no better defense of being a racist than a racist defense. Racist, racist, racist.

A former employee of one of Trump’s casinos, before he bankrupted them because he’s a shitty businessman, claims that during the 1980s, whenever Trump and wife number two Ivana came to the casino, that the bosses would “order all black people off the floor” and make them hide in the back…but not in any apartments he was trying to rent.

In 1989, four black teenagers and one Latino teenager, the “Central Park Five,” were accused of attacking and raping a jogger in New York City. Trump ran ads in local papers demanding, “BRING BACK THE DEATH PENALTY. BRING BACK OUR POLICE.” After they spent seven to 13 years in prison, the convictions were vacated based on DNA evidence clearing them and the city paid $41 million in settlement to the teens. In 2016, Trump said he still believes they’re guilty. I don’t care what the Mueller Report says, I still think he committed treason with Russia.

In 1991, the president of Trump Plaza Casino in Atlantic City (which is bankrupt now because Donald Trump is a shitty businessman. Did I already mention that?), John O’Donnell, quoted Trump’s criticism of a black accountant. He claims Trump said, “black counting my money! I hate it. The only kind of people I want counting my money are short guys that wear yarmulkes every day. Laziness is a trait in blacks.” Trump denied ever saying it but in an interview with Playboy in 1997 said, “the stuff O’Donnell wrote about me is probably true.” You know, about his comments before he bankrupted his casinos because he’s a shitty businessman.

In congressional testimony in 1993, Trump said some Native American reservations operating casinos shouldn’t be allowed because “they don’t look like Indians to me.” In 2000, he ran a series of ads claiming a tribe had a “record of criminal activity that is well documented.”  He’s a racist who projects. He didn’t want competition for his casinos because it was bad enough he was a shitty businessman on his way to bankrupting those casinos.

In 2005, Trump pitched to NBC The Apprentice: White People vs. Black People. He’s using the same concept today in politics.

He opposed the “Ground Zero Mosque” in 2010. He told David Letterman, “Somebody’s blowing us up.” But, nobody had to blow up Trump’s casinos because he bankrupted them because he’s a shitty businessman.

He launched his presidential campaign calling Mexican immigrants “rapists and murderers.” He said, “they’re bringing crime and they’re bringing drugs.” He made that announcement at Trump Tower instead of one of his casinos because he bankrupted them because he’s a shitty businessman. Was that one too many? Overkill? I’ll stop now. Promise.

He called for a ban on all Muslims. This was before he targeted specific nations. He started with “all Muslims.” He also called for surveillance on all mosques in this country.

He said a judge wasn’t qualified to oversee the Trump University lawsuit because of his Mexican heritage and membership in a Latino lawyers association. Paul Ryan, who later endorsed Trump and became his butt boy said that’s “the textbook definition of a racist comment.” Of course, that Trump University is now defunct because it was a scam and Donald Trump is a shitty businessman (What? It wasn’t a casino).

He tweeted a picture of Hillary Clinton with a pile of money and a Star of David.

He’s repeatedly called Senator Elizabeth Warren “Pocahontas.”

He’s carried on attacks against black NFL players for protesting police violence and racism. Trump once tried to purchase an NFL team but they wouldn’t let him in the club because he’s a con artist and a shitty…OK.

He said people who came to the U.S. “all have AIDS.” He said people from Nigeria would “never go back to those huts” once they saw America. He referred to Haiti and African nations as “shithole countries.”

Who can forget that Trump defended the Nazis who marched in Charlottesville chanting “Jews will not replace us” and “blood and soil” and also killed a woman?

And then there’s birtherism. Trump was perhaps the biggest advocate for the conspiracy theory that Obama was not born in the United States. He even claimed he sent investigators to Hawaii to look into Obama’s birth certificate. He even argued that Obama wasn’t a good enough student to have gotten into Columbia or Harvard Law School. But, Obama never once bankrupted a casino because he’s a shitty businessman (You knew it was coming).

Donald Trump is a racist. He’s also spawned a racist and he couldn’t have picked a better name for his racist spawn than Donald Trump Jr. Bernie Sanders tweeted, “Trump Jr. is a racist too.  Shocker.”

Last week, racists picked up the birther mantle and started using it against California Senator and Democratic presidential candidate Kamala Harris. The senator’s father is from Jamaica and her mother is from India. Harris identifies as black. If you look at her, you too would probably describe her as black.

Some critics on social media claim she’s unfairly portraying herself as African American. Others have taken it further and claimed she’s not black enough and not even an American.

One racist goober tweeted that she’s not “an American black.” Guess which high-profile racist retweeted that? Yup. Trump Jr. picked up his daddy’s racist birther campaign and added to the tweet, “Is this true? Wow.” Yeah, wow what a racist. He later deleted the tweet, most likely because it reveals he’s a racist.

First off, “is this true?” How in any way can it be “true” that she’s not a black American? She’s black, right? She’s an American, right? Yes and yes. Second, why take issue with her describing herself as “African” American or simply just a “black” American? If this makes a difference to you, you’re probably a racist. By the way, your dad paints himself orange.

Some of these idiots are even referring to her as an “anchor baby” because she was born to immigrants, in California, by the way. If that’s the case, wouldn’t Donald Trump Sr. also be an anchor baby since his mom was an immigrant and his father was born in Germany (he wasn’t actually born in Germany but the irony of Trump lying about that is so rich)? Maybe someone should ask Trumpy Jr. where his grandfather was born. By the way, Grandpappy Fred was also a racist. He was so racist that Woodie Guthrie wrote a song about this. It goes like this, “This land is your land, this land is our land, Fred Trump is a racist, he doesn’t want black people on this land.” It was a hit.

I’m waiting for them to accuse Harris of being born in Uganda. Maybe they’ll confuse Senator Kamala Harris with that old wrestler from back in the 80s/90s, Kamala the Ugandan Giant, except he was actually born in Mississippi (I found that out when I met him at a photo op at an elementary school in Mississippi back in the 90s. Nice guy. He never bankrupted any casinos).

Black, African American, or Jamaican-Indian American, whatever…Kamala Harris is an American. She’s just as much of an American as I am (born in Texas, thank you), Donald Trump Sr. and Donald Trump Jr. Cory Booker tweeted, “Kamala Harris doesn’t have shit to prove.”

He’s right. Senator Harris does not have shit to prove to Trump, Don Jr., the assorted birther racists on social media, to you or to me. But Donald Trump and dumbfuck Jr, they need to prove they’re not racists.

To convince me they’re not racists, I’m going to need to see a certificate.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch Me Draw.

 

Douchebag’s Wearhouse


douche

I’ve given myself a few rules to follow when creating political cartoons. One of those rules is, don’t draw a cartoon merely to state that Trump sucks. We already know Trump sucks. So, when drawing Trump, I try to make it not just about him, but a specific issue. Of course, I also reserve the right to break my own rules. In this case, I’m saying, Donald Trump, Donald Trump Jr, Eric Trump, and Jared Kushner are all entitled trust-fund baby douchebags. They all suck.

I got this idea while replying to a reader’s comment today on where this group of troglodytes shop for their tuxes. While meeting the Queen of England, Donald Trump was wearing a tuxedo that was apparently bought for Barron Trump when he was five. I knew Trump couldn’t find a suit that fits, despite having his own line of suits, but damn…you’d think the guy could find a tailor for a tux.

Then, I saw the picture of Trump with the three guys in the cartoon and just thought, ew. What a bunch of entitled douchey doos.

Entitled? Yes. A story came out this week about Don Jr. and Eric not paying their tab from a pub…after offering to buy the entire bar a round of drinks. Conservative media went after the press for running with this story pointing out that the tab had been paid and the pub itself was trying to debunk the story. Of course, the tab was paid three days later…by Donald Trump’s golf club.

The Trump boys went bar hopping in Douchebag, I mean Doonbeg, Ireland and later claimed they didn’t have cash on them. OK. So who goes bar hopping without any means to pay? Douchebags. Then, they don’t even pay the tab themselves.

The Trumps have a history of not paying their tab. They stiff contractors, lenders, apparently bars, and even an entire city. The Trump campaign still owes El Paso over $500,000 for a rally.

Douchebags.

Creative note: I did this cartoon for fun. I haven’t decided yet if I’ll send it to my clients. But, since I like living dangerously and getting into trouble, I probably will.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

Watch Me Draw.

Jr. Jeopardy


cjones05182019

James Holzhauer is on a 22-game winning streak on Jeopardy (in case you’re a Republican, that’s a game show). Holzhauer has accumulated $1.7 million in winnings and has given the game show higher ratings than, get this, The Big Bang Theory and hold on to your lugnuts, Game of Thrones. No shit.

Holzhauer owns the 10 highest single-day winnings in the show’s history, but he doesn’t own the record for most Jeopardy money…yet. That honor belongs to Ken Jennings.

James Holzhauer and Ken Jennings are smart. They have big brains. Let’s talk about someone who does not.

After being subpoenaed to testify before the Senate Intelligence Committee, Donald Trump Jr has agreed to limited questioning from the senators. Wait. How the hell did that happen? He gets a subpoena and agrees to limited questions? Have you ever been called to court and refused or negotiated your terms on testifying? Even Marisa Tomei didn’t get that deal in My Cousin Vinny. Is this a nation built to serve rich douchebags or what?

The deal is, Trumpy Jr will testify if the topics are limited to a half dozen to maybe a dozen (depending on which source you use), and he only has to stay two to four hours. He’s a busy guy who doesn’t have time for accountability. He has a shyster corporation to run, big game animals to shoot, and conspiracy theories and Nazis to retweet.

Trump Jr. refused to be questioned by Special Counsel Robert Mueller’s team. For some reason, Mueller didn’t subpoena him. He testified once before the Senate in a private session and later agreed to return, which he reneged on.

Daddy Trump has wailed that his son is being mistreated and that he had already testified in private for hours upon hours. Yeah, that’s why he’s gotta come back. It’s that testimony that’s raised questions. The Mueller Report contains testimony from more than one witness that contradicts Jr. If you tell the cops you didn’t do something and then ten people contradict you, the cops are probably going to want to talk to you again.

Like his father, Junior has a history of lying. Before news of the Trump Tower meeting came out, he was on Fox News denying there was ever ANY contacts with Russia, and how dare anyone ask if there were.

Junior is a liar. He makes shit up. He retweets antisemitic theories on George Soros. He gives interviews to people who believe in white genocide. He compares immigrants to Skittles. He’s almost as horrible as his father. Maybe by the time he’s 72, he’ll be just as bad and have his very own failed hair transplant, and pornstars to hush.

Senators want to question Junior about the Trump Tower meeting where he was seeking dirt on Hillary Clinton from Russians, and on the secretive Trump Tower Moscow project. Daddy Trump and Junior have both claimed no Moscow deal was in progress, yet Michael Cohen claims there was, they were working on a bribe to Vladimir Putin, and Junior was briefed on the development at least ten times. I wonder if he ever replied, “I love it?”

Lindsey Graham, who once screamed that Bill Clinton and his people had to comply with congressional subpoenas and who also chairs a committee that issues them, said Junior should refuse to testify and ignore the subpoena. No cognitive dissonance there, right? Lindsey Graham has sold his soul for a bag of orange jelly beans, or are they skittles?

I understand the chairman of the committee, Richard Burr, was under intense pressure from his fellow Republicans to comply with Junior. I mean, Junior’s lawyer was threatening to send a letter. Ack! I suppose issuing contempt charges for a person being contemptible was out of the question.

This president needs oversight and that goes for his stupid children who have aided him in subverting democracy. Can someone please go to jail for breaking the law, selling out our nation to Russians, and lying to Congress?

Greg Kihn is a one-hit wonder with the song “Jeopardy” (but check out “The Breakup Song”), which Weird Al Yankovic covered with “I Lost On Jeopardy.” I’m hoping Weird Junior loses on legal jeopardy.

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