Conspiracy Pox


I would really love it if Democrats would stop sounding like Donald Trump supporters.

It’s bad enough that Vladimir Putin is helping Bernie Sanders because he believes that’s the best way to help Donald Trump. It’s just as bad that Bernie Bro’s are online dicks and trolls. And then, you even have Bernie complaining about the “establishment.”

Let’s make something perfectly clear. There is no grand conspiracy to “steal” the nomination from Bernie Sanders. Before Super Tuesday, he only had 58 delegates. That’s a long way from securing the nomination. Nobody is rigging the system against Bernie. And to show you just how stupid it is to play the conspiracy game about the DNC and Bernie, Donald Trump called the endorsements from Amy Klobuchar, Pete Buttigieg, and Beto O’Rourke a “coup” against Bernie.

Congratulations, Democratic conspiracy theorists. You’re on the same level of thinking and paranoia as Donald Trump. Voting or endorsing is not a coup. It’s democratic. It’s politics. Bernie would have to be the leader of the party and then thrown out in an illegal manner for it to be a coup. Donald Trump’s excuse for not knowing the definition of a coup is that he’s Donald Trump. If you’re a Democrat, you don’t have an excuse.

Donald Trump sandwiches his conspiracy theories about the DNC between his conspiracy theories about Ukraine election meddling and his conspiracy theories about Covid-19 being out to get him. Don’t be like Trump. You’re supposed to be better than that.

You don’t need a conspiracy to believe the majority of the party rejects a socialist who isn’t a member of the party. You don’t need a conspiracy theory that the majority doesn’t want to run a socialist against Donald Trump. You need a conspiracy theory to believe Beto O’Rourke, who is no longer in Congress, is a failed Senate candidate, and a failed presidential candidate represents the establishment.

The DNC didn’t give Joe Biden a huge win Tuesday night. Democratic voters did. If you really believe black voters, who solidly supported Joe Biden, are the establishment, then I challenge you to put that on a T-Shirt and sell it.

What happened Tuesday night may not have even been a sound rejection of Bernie Sanders as much as it was a mandate that the majority of voters are ready to move on to the nominee and start the campaign against Donald Trump. I don’t think there’s better proof of that than Elizabeth Warren coming in third in Massachusetts.

No, her constituents don’t hate her. They’re not sexist. They’re ready to move on. They saw that Warren doesn’t stand a chance to get the nomination so they put their eggs in baskets where they thought they’d be used better. Basically, her voters in her state didn’t view her as a candidate anymore. Hell, most of them would probably prefer her but she’s no longer in the game. Maybe on Tuesday, she finally got that message.

I like Bernie. I like Elizabeth. I would prefer one of them over Biden. But I get it. The party wants to move. And, you don’t have to like it. Just deal with reality. The thing is, it’s not important if Bernie, Liz or Joe is the President of the United States of America. What’s important is that Donald Trump is not. That’s the reality you need to get.

Take this from a guy who shouts at his television and talks to himself along with inanimate objects: Stop talking like you’re in the Trump cult…or I’ll call the truck and have them take you away.

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Hillary Berns


There are a couple of things I find particularly interesting about Hillary Clinton. The first is she’s been investigated for over 20 years without anything incriminating ever being found on her, yet Republicans keep demanding new investigations. Now, they’re screaming for investigations over the dossier, something that isn’t illegal. The other thing is, the people who keep telling her to shut up and go away are the same people who can’t stop talking about her. It’s like breaking up with someone who never calls you but you call them to tell them to stop calling you.

Now, Clinton’s critics from Donald Trump to the idiots at Fox News to that one crazy guy you’re still friends with on Facebook but you don’t know why has another reason to talk about Hillary.

It’s bad enough that conspiracies hound her, from a child sex ring in the basement of a D.C. pizza shop that doesn’t have a basement, to her lesbian lovers, to her debilitating health, and that hiring someone to research her opponent is somehow colluding with Russians. Despite the facts and impression being bad enough over her involvement with the Democratic National Committee, I expect more conspiracy theories to enter the mix.

Hillary’s critics will have to read and comprehend the facts of her deal with the DNC to use it against her. Since that’s out of the question, they’ll do what they do best which is making shit up, like screaming it’s rigged.

If you want to start a fight on social media, you don’t have to pit Trump sycophants against Clinton supporters. Just start a thread between Hillary and Bernie supporters. The Democrats won’t figure out how to defeat the GOP until they stop defeating themselves.

Former DNC interim chair Donna Brazile revealed Clinton gained partial control of the DNC months prior to winning the nomination.

Berners accused the DNC of supporting Clinton before the primaries were over, and they still haven’t gotten over it. While there doesn’t appear to be anything illegal about the deal, it does seem unethical. Trump and other Republicans are crying for the FBI and Justice Department to look into it, even though it doesn’t seem to be a crime. Trump tweeted that Brazile said the primaries were “rigged,” despite the fact she never said that and replied to Trump that wasn’t the case.

I’m not sure anything had to be “rigged” at the DNC as it was and still is an incompetent organization. Debbie Wasserman-Schultz was a terrible chairperson. Thanks to her leadership and Obama leaving expensive consultants on the payroll, the party was near bankruptcy.

Clinton’s campaign came to the rescue, covered the majority of the party’s debt, and put them on a monthly allowance, but they had conditions. The campaign would control the party’s finances, strategy, and all the money raised, what anyone would demand if they’re bailing you out financially. You don’t give someone a million dollars to pay off gangsters, only to watch them spend the money at the casino again. Her campaign had the right of refusal of who would be the party communications director, and it would make final decisions on all the other staff. The DNC also was required to consult with the campaign about all other staffing, budgeting, data, analytics, and mailings. They couldn’t send out a press release without it going through Clinton’s staff in Brooklyn first.

Normally, the winner of the primaries exercises more control of the DNC. If there’s an incumbent in office, like the case with Obama, then he retains control until the next election. Hillary was treated as a winner before she won. She took control of the party in August 2015, just four months after she announced her candidacy.

Being unethical isn’t entirely new to the Clintons. Still, you can’t find anything illegal about the deal or how money was spent and shifted around. From Brazile’s notes, it seems careful steps were put into place to follow legal guidelines, like how much money could be contributed to the DNC, Clinton’s campaigns, and state-level fundraisers, and how that money could be moved from one to the other. It was actually very smart while also being unfair to Bernie Sanders and his supporters.

There is one little nugget you have to keep mind. Bernie is not a Democrat. Why would the party treat both candidates fairly when only one is a member? And, she wasn’t just a member, she was keeping the party afloat. I don’t find as much blame on Hillary as I do the DNC, Wasserman-Schultz, and to a lesser extent, Obama who ignored the heavy spending and debt at the DNC.

Democrats are tired of re-litigating the last election. Now, they’re not even getting over the primaries. They need to prepare for 2020, the midterms in 2018, and dammit, the election next week for Virginia’s governor.

Yes, it sucks the primary process wasn’t fair. Democrats need to learn from it and use that lesson, so they don’t get rolled by Trump voters again. No wonder they lost Michigan, Pennsylvania, and Wisconsin.

And, seriously…if the Nazis win Richmond Tuesday, I’m gonna be pissed.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

The Dictator


The Trump administration will throw any bone out there to make their case that the Russian Colluding story is “fake news.” They’re so desperate that they’ll trample on a man’s grave to push the narrative. If only there was an unethical news organization to help with….oh yeah…Fox News.

Seth Rich was murdered in Washington, D.C. in July 2016 in what police describe as a botched robbery attempt. That’s all conspiracy-lovin’ right-wing douchebags needed to make the case that Putin didn’t help Trump win the election. Fox News and others (the type who spread the story that Hillary Clinton was running a child-sex-slave ring in a D.C. pizza joint) ate it up. Eventually, Fox News had to discredit and retract the story (except for Sean Hannity who said he’d just stop talking about it).

Now there’s a lawsuit filed by a private detective hired to investigate the murder alleging that Fox News worked with White House officials to push the case to undermine allegations of Russian collusion with Trump’s presidential campaign. Rich worked for the DNC, and the debunked conspiracy is that he, not Russia, leaked all the emails to WikiLeaks and that Democrats had him killed.

Fox News used quotes from Rod Wheeler, the detective, that he claims he never said. He even has recordings with the Trump supporter, Ed Butkowsky who paid him to investigate, where Butowsky acknowledges the quotes are fake. Butowsky is a frequent guest on Fox business programs.

Wheeler and Butkowsky met with Sean Spicer during the investigation which Spicer has confirmed, though last May he said he didn’t know anything about the story (Spicer is now selling Trump bullshit pro bono). Butowsky messaged Wheeler before their meeting with Spicer, “We have the full attention of the White House on this.” Butowsky also claimed in emails to Wheeler that he was keeping the president informed, and that Trump really wanted the story published. On Tuesday night, Butowsky went on CNN to yell at Chris Cuomo and defended his statements as “jokes.” Republicans really gotta work on their humor because Butowsky’s jokes are about as funny as jokes that cops should practice police brutality and “if Russia is listening, they should release Clinton’s emails.”

I’m sure the odds of Fox News colluding with the White House is total bunk, and we could get a statement from Sean Hannity assuring us it’s just crazy talk, or “fake news.” Except, Sean is probably too busy having a secret dinner with Trump in the White House. Whatever do they talk about over the meatloaf?

Of course, the White House is denying this just like they denied that Trump Jr., Jared, and Manafort met with a Russian lawyer who promised dirt on Hillary Clinton. Maybe another example is the one they served up yesterday where Trump’s lawyer, Jay Sekulow denied that Donald Trump wrote Jr’s initial statement that the meeting was only about Russian adoptions….only to have the White House confirm Trump was involved in creating the statement. Presidenting is really hard when you gotta keep creating diversions for your children and other henchmen over all the shady shitty shit they keep doing. Why can’t a wannabe dictator get good help?

The White House explained it as a father taking interest in his son’s endeavors. Now it is good news that Trump is finally interested in helping to raise his 39-year-old son, though to be fair, he was always interested in Ivanka and Tiffany’s “developments.” Still, it does warm my heart to see Junior groomed to take over the evil family business, much like Dr. Evil groomed Scott Evil.

Of course, there’s really no indication that Trump would care about debunking the Russia Collusion story by blaming Democrats….other than his daily tweets, statements, casual remarks to whoever’s passing by about it.

Sean Hannity, the president’s dining partner, likes to argue that he is not a journalist. OK then, no argument. But, it’s peculiar that someone who makes that claim has a prime-time slot on a news channel to talk about news.

Creative note: I wrote this entire blog with a kitten in my lap. It’s really warm.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Romping With Hannity


Now that Fox News’ Sean Hannity has abandoned his hunt for the “real” story in the murder of Seth Rich, he can apply his amazing journalistic instincts on another matter. Like defending Republicans who beat up journalists.

Hannity spent a week pursuing a story into the death of Rich, a staffer for the Democratic National Committee. It was a story that Fox News retracted and said it didn’t meet their journalistic standards.

The original story published May 16 reported as fact that Rich was actually the person who leaked tens of thousands of emails from the DNC to WikiLeaks and that his murder was tied to that action. Rich was shot and killed last July in Washington in what police describe as a “botched robbery.” There is no public evidence that even suggests he shared DNC emails with Wikileaks. The Rich family pleaded with Fox to stop spreading speculation without facts.

Fox eventually retracted the story, though without an apology. Hannity, however, on his radio show said that he retracts nothing and will continue to push the story. Hannity was relentless in pushing the bogus conspiracy theory and said that he “is not Fox News.” Later, on his TV show, he said that he would stop covering the issue “out of respect for the family’s wishes — for now.” It turns out he IS Fox News. That means his bosses, and probably a few lawyers clamped down on him. Also, advertisers are bailing on his show faster than if he was spotted at Bill O’Reilly’s strip-club-bachelor party.

Sean Hannity is not a real journalist. He was covering for Donald Trump and his Russia connections. It’s a sad state we’re in when the top-viewed news outlet hires hatchet men instead of reporters.

The press has never been popular. Every town’s newspaper has a derogatory nickname for it. But now it’s worse than ever. The president says the press is the “enemy of the American people” and he’s advocated changing the Constitution to change libel laws and imprison journalists. Your crazy uncle believes Breitbart has as much, or more, credibility than The Washington Post and The New York Times. CNN stands for the “Clinton News Network.” Republicans are body-slamming journalists and breaking their glasses.

The freedom the press enjoys is indicative to what sort of nation we live in. A free press means freedom to all. When that’s shut down or infringed upon, your freedom is next. The press’ freedom is your freedom. You need to understand that. It’s not just so Anderson Cooper can run wild and roll his eyes at Kellyanne Conway. It’s so you can live in a free nation where your right to know is not violated….or your right to report.

Apparently, you even have a lot of freedom to report lies. Ask Sean Hannity.

Creative notes: I started this cartoon last night and put it aside to draw my Hulk cartoon. I think I made the right choice but I still wanted to finish this. I called up my former FLS colleague Hilary and asked her where I should put the hyphens in “conspiracy.” Hilary is smarter than I am and she makes me write good (see what I did there? That’ll piss her off to no end).

Men’s rompers were in the news earlier this week. Do you know why? I don’t. If you find out, can you let me know what’s up with men’s rompers? I didn’t care enough to do any actual research into it. I just saw a bunch of posts on Facebook and then I Googled to see how many recent news stories came up. Quite a few. I didn’t read any of them but they were there.

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The Democrat Diss


Supporters of Bernie Sanders felt slighted during the Democratic primary with many feeling the system was rigged. It didn’t help perceptions that Donna Brazile fed Hillary Clinton debate questions before the debate and it’s true that the Democratic establishment heavily favored Clinton over Sanders which leaked emails (hacked by Russians) revealed.

On Saturday night the Democratic party elected former Obama Labor Secretary Tom Perez as their new leader over Minnesota congressman Keith Ellison. It would be a fantasy world if the Republican leadership choice came down to a Hispanic and an African-American Muslim. For the party of diversity, not so much.

The perception of a rigged system and a party that’s ignoring the more liberal and millennial element will continue after the election of Perez. While Perez has bonafide liberal credentials, Ellison was the candidate who supported Sanders early in the primaries (second congressman to do so), and was endorsed by him for the leadership position.

For those Sanders supporters, whose support for Clinton in the general election was lukewarm, and those who didn’t support her at all, this is another slap in the face as Perez won by only 30 votes. They feel the party, which has lost nearly 1,000 seats from the White House to state houses in the last decade, is continuing the establishment’s pattern which has given them so many losses.

Perez has his work cut out for him. The Democratic party is the party of diversity. They better play to it.While they do need the establishment and start to appeal to rural whites, they can’t ignore the voices of minority and millennial voters. They better give them a seat at the table. Healthcare, free college, and even legal marijuana, needs to be added to the platform and fought for vigorously while also opposing Trump’s travel ban on Muslims and his racist deportation policy among other things.

In the era of Trump those voices and votes are needed now more than ever. They better pay attention to The Resistance.

Personally, I think Ellison, a voice of The Resistance, would have been the best choice for the party of the future. I also think he would have been a bad choice in that he’s an elected official. People who hold office should not be simultaneously holding a partisan position. Do you work for the party or your constituents? How do you vote and sponsor bills while being a spokesperson for an entire party? Do you ever buck the party in your position as an elected official or do you just ignore the job your district and state sent you to do (which a lot of representatives do anyway).

The Democrats have the numbers on their side to win elections. So why aren’t they winning elections? What they’ve been doing obviously is not working. It is now Tom Perez’s job to figure it out and make a change.

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The House That Love Built…Or Not.


During Michelle Obama’s incredible speech at the Democratic National Convention she mentioned that she lives in a house that slaves built. Immediately there was a conservative backlash. Seriously, what kind of butt-faced ogre troglodyte defends slavery?

Bill O’Reilly, that’s who.

Bill O’Reilly is a very intelligent man. He says so himself. But he’s also a butt head and he has a penchant for distorting information, or what we commonly refer to in the media as “lying.” Billy was upset over Michelle stating that slaves built the White House. Hardly anyone is arguing that it’s a fact. They just hate that it’s brought up, or in this case, criticized. How dare someone criticize slavery!

Funny thing. These mooks complain about Black Lives Matter and state that African Americans should get the chip off their shoulder and get over slavery. Yet you have jerkoids on the number one cable news show defending slavery. O’Reilly states how well the White House slaves were fed and taken care of. Screw that free will as long as I get a sandwich and a comforter.

It’s funny and quite bizarre that the people who state racism isn’t that big of a deal anymore, or that it doesn’t even exist, are the very same people who are waving Confederate flags and defending slavery.

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Bernie’s Little Drops Of Love For Little Debbie


A lot of people are really unhappy with the job Debbie Wasserman Schultz has performed as chair of the Democratic Party. The one person who is probably the most unhappy with her is Bernie Sanders.

One thing sitting Senators and Congressmen do not do….ever, is endorse a primary opponent against a current sitting representative in their own party. Guess what Bernie did. Bernie Sanders has endorsed Wasserman Schultz’s primary opponent. He has also stated that if he’s elected president that she will no longer be the chair of the DNC. Ouch! Feel that bern, baby.

Sanders even sent out an email for her opponent, Tim Canova, soliciting campaign donations, which apparently brought in a lot of cash.

Sanders feels Wasserman Schultz has favored Hillary Clinton throughout the Democratic primary. She actually worked on Hillary’s 2008 campaign so he might have a point. Other evidence he points to that shows she favors Clinton is her use of super delegates, which is like giving Clinton a running start. There were also closed closed primaries in several states which prevents independents from voting, which is very undemocratic for a party called the “Democratic party.” Worst of all, Wasserman Schultz scheduled very few debates, with some of those happening on Saturday nights. I’m really shocked Wasserman Schultz didn’t schedule any for 4:00 am Thursday morning on C-SPAN. Apparently the more people get of Hillary Clinton the less they like her. It’s probably the laugh. For me its’ the laugh and the Big Bird pants suit she wore for one of the debates. Obviously, her campaign is staffed entirely with yes people. Yes, ma’am, that suit is fabulous and not ridiculous looking at all.

Will Sanders’s support of Cavona against Debbie have any impact? I doubt it. In the Florida primary Hillary Clinton won that particular congressional district by 37%.

Even if these complaints against Wasserman Schultz weren’t out there in the political atmosphere, I would still believe she should be knocked out of the chairmanship. It’s a conflict of interest. She’s a sitting member of Congress. That’s her job. Not the blanket partisanship of chairing the party. We can blame President Obama for that as he’s the one who appointed her, which was probably done to appease Hillary after he thrashed her in the 2008 primaries.

Bernie may have “berned” some bridges in the Democratic Party. But what does he really care? He only recently became a Democrat as he’s spent his entire legislative career as an independent. He’ll probably go back to that status after the election.

Bernie’s birds pooping on Debbie’s hair would suck. But at least they’re not making a nest in it. I believe that’s physically possible.

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