Dennis Hastert

Republican Pedophile


Back in the late 90’s during the Clinton administration Republicans spent over $70 million investigating a land transaction the president was involved with while he was governor of Arkansas. Republicans, who are always champions of limited government spending, only uncovered a consensual sex act between Clinton and an intern, so they impeached him and slut shamed her.

Unfortunately for them their Speaker of the House at the time was Newt Gingrich, who had his own sexual infractions, so he resigned to be replaced by Bob Livingston, who also had sexual transgressions. How are uptight Republicans supposed to impeach a guy for sex when their leaders are also bedroom bad guys? They figured it out by making a pedophile their Speaker.

Dennis Hastert was a high school wrestling coach before he went to Congress. During that time he was a pedophile. I’m supposed to write “accused” but screw that. He’s a pedophile. He put a Lazyboy recliner in the boys shower. That’s some serious commitment to watching young boys get naked and lathered up. You would think the barcalounger in the shower would have raised suspicions and concerns. Hell, a stool should have raised awareness or how about the coach even hanging out in the shower with the boys?

Hastert is accused of molesting five boys while he was a coach. His defense team says all he did was a “groin rub” to one of the boys. OK yeah, all is forgiven because rubbing a young boy’s groin regions is perfectly understandable, right? After that Denny massaged the young boy’s back and slept in the same bed. What? The claim is the teen had a groin pull so Hastert massaged it. Sounds like his groin was pulled alright.

So Republicans, those champions of saving us from sex freaks, are writing legislation bullying and shaming transgenders over what bathrooms they use in public. These Republicans are about as good with government staying out of our private lives as they are with fiscal matters.

Republicans lead Democrats 10-1 when it comes to sex scandals. Maybe they should stop worrying about what other people are doing in their private lives. They could spend the free time studying rape and understanding that definition.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!


I Dream Of Denny


Yesterday I promised my clients I wouldn’t send them another “Pool Party” cartoon today. I hope I’m not making them lose sleep.

I had already drawn one cartoon for the day (a commissioned one for The Daily Dot) when my buddy Gordon called asking if I wanted to get dinner.  I took my notebook with me as I needed one more idea and I usually get one when I talk about current events with Gordon, who’s very well informed. I really wanted to do something on the New York prison escape.

After talking to my friend I got an idea and he liked it and tried to take credit for it. Then I got the idea you see above. Here’s the rough.


Below is the first idea. Gordon liked it but liked the nightmare idea better. He showed them both to a couple of friends in the restaurant and they both preferred the car trunk idea you see below. However, neither of them knew of Dennis Hastert. I told him not to show them to fuckos who don’t keep up with current events or can’t name the three branches of government.

My buddy and I both thought the nightmare cartoon was stronger and better. He thought it was more dangerous. Well heck. That’s all I need. Gordon wanted to make it clear that he had nothing to do with the nightmare cartoon as he thought it was that “dangerous.” Eh, whatever. If I get in trouble I’ll send the pitchfork and torch wielding mob to his house. I’ve already given his address to al Qaida.



Ignore the typo. I’m lucky I didn’t get wing sauce or salad dressing on the paper.

Neither idea occurred until we were about to leave and I was thinking that bringing the notebook was a waste of time. I’m at the point where I don’t leave home without taking a notebook and pen with me. I’m always working, even when it doesn’t look like I’m working.