CPAC

The Bald Spot


cjones02272018

Donald Trump made two very surprising acknowledgements last week. First, he finally admitted that Russia meddled in the 2016 presidential election. It’s true, he didn’t admit they sought to help him win the election, that they had any effect on the results, or that his campaign was involved in any way. It’s also true he used it to attack Obama and didn’t criticize or say anything negative about Russia or Vladimir Putin.

His second admission may have been even more shocking. Donald Trump acknowledged he has a bald spot. What’s even weirder is that he did it at CPAC. Why would he do that at CPAC, an organization that’s gone from Republicanism to Trumpism? It’s an organization that has allowed Donald Trump to define what they stand for, which is the cult of Trump. Trump could tell the goons at CPAC that he farts Skittles, and they’d believe him and want to taste the rainbow. He could have kept the lie hidden by the most ridiculous comb-over in the world before CPAC. These are people who booed a panelist who criticized Republicans for endorsing a child molester.

What will Trump reveal next? His taxes? He does have false teeth? His weight is actually way above 239? He’s shorter than Obama? He paid off porn stars? His fingers really are teeny tiny which means he has a small…

Donald Trump’s hair is the perfect metaphor to describe the man. His most prominent physical feature is a lie. It’s designed to give the impression there is substance where there is actually none.

Speaking of sloppy cover-ups that fail to conceal and a lack of substance, Trump claims the Republican memo written by Devin Nunes totally exonerates him from colluding with Russia and engaging in obstruction of justice. The memo itself is part of the obstruction, written by Trump stooges and sycophants who put party and cult worship over country.

The Democrats finally released their memo over the weekend. The Democratic Memo, written by Adam Schiff, had information redacted after their first attempt to release it. The Republican memo was released without any redactions over the objections of the FBI and Justice Department.

The Republican memo is designed to make us believe the FBI violated all sorts of procedures in obtaining a FISA warrant against Carter Page, an adviser to the Trump campaign who was suspected of being a Russian spy. The Nunes memo tries to discredit the Russia investigation by claiming the FBI and Justice Department hoodwinked the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Court when it sought to monitor Page. They argue the FBI’s investigation relied heavily on the dossier written by a former MI6 agent, Christopher Steele, and financed by Democrats. The Schiff memo destroys the GOP’s arguments and talking points.

The Republican memo is four pages long. The Democratic memo is ten. It points out that the FBI was investigating Carter Page nearly two months before they were aware there was a dossier. The dossier only corroborated the FBI’s observations and was just a part of the documents in the FBI’s request for the warrants. As for it being a biased warrant, the four judges on the FISA court are Republicans. Perhaps they haven’t received the news yet that the Republican Party no longer cares about national security, treason, and law enforcement.

The Nunes Memo argues the court was unware the dossier was funded by Democrats. The Schiff memo debunks that lie.

Schiff’s memo points out that Page traveled to Moscow, had “past relationships with Russian spies,” spent time during the 2016 campaign involved in “interaction with Russian officials,” was “knowingly assisting clandestine Russian intelligence activities in the U.S.” and was “someone the FBI assessed to be an agent of the Russian government.” The Republicans are actually crying that a suspected agent for Russia had his rights violated. Other than Paul Manafort, Carter Page is the most likely person in this investigation to land in prison. It’ll be interesting to see if the GOP continues to defend him.

Speaking at CPAC, Devin Nunes said the Democrat’s memo is, “clear evidence that the Democrats are not only trying to cover this up, but they’re also colluding with parts of the government to help cover this up.”

Trump tweeted, “The Democrat memo response on government surveillance abuses is a total political and legal BUST. Just confirms all of the terrible things that were done. SO ILLEGAL!” He told Fox News that the memo was “nothing” and that Schiff is a “bad guy.”

It takes a lot of nerve for Trump and Nunes to accuse others of writing a politically-motivated memo and colluding. Trump probably hasn’t even read either memo.

If you’re bald and wear a wig or sport a comb-over, you’re still bald. Releasing a memo stating you’re not a traitor, doesn’t mean you’re not a traitor.

Here’s the video, kids. It’s a lot shorter.

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude

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Love Mass Shootings


cjones02252018

Donald Trump said the National Rifle Association is full of good people, which puts them in exclusive company because that’s the same thing he said about Nazis. Congrats, NRA.

If you watched just a few seconds of the speeches by NRA CEO Wayne LaPierre and spokesgoon Dana Loesch, you’ll see why they might belong in the same company.

Wayne LaPierre said gun control advocates hate freedom. Loesch said the “legacy media” loves mass shootings and “crying white mothers” are ratings gold. Donald Trump said we should have a rating system for violent video games and movies, which we’ve had since 1968. Maybe the president should focus on issues occurring during this century.

Trump said the NRA is willing to work with gun advocates for gun safety. I watched some of the CPAC speeches and I didn’t detect any willingness on their part to work on actual gun safety. Instead, there was the repeated dumb solution of introducing more guns to combat the gun problem. Trump also repeated the NRA’s talking points.

The NRA tossed around a lot of blame for mass shootings. They blamed Obama, liberals, the Democratic Party, Salon, Slate, The Washington Post, The New York Times, CNN, Chris Murphy, Nancy Pelosi, the Internal Revenue Service, Kamala Harris, Elizabeth Warren, Chuck Schumer, the FBI, the socialist agenda, liberal college campuses, Black Lives Matter, Antifa, Mexico, China, Europeans, elites, intellectuals, George Soros, Michael Bloomberg, NFL players, Loretta Lynch, Hillary Clinton, and James Comey. It was like a game of hate bingo.

That is not a complete list, but do you see one item missing? Guns. Specifically, assault weapons. The NRA is not willing to work with anyone on gun safety if they can’t acknowledge the fact that assault weapons are the root cause of the problem.

When someone walks into a room with a gun, you don’t think “hey, an insane gun.” Your first thought is, “that guy has a gun.” It’s the guns, people. Sure, there are other contributors, but it starts with the guns.

The NRA only cares about the bottom line for gun sales. In fact, each time there’s a mass shooting, gun sales go up.

Assault weapons are not necessary for home protection. If you need an assault weapon to hit your target, you shouldn’t own a gun. But, I’m not proposing an outright ban on assault rifles. People should still be allowed to own them. They just shouldn’t be allowed to take them home. We need a law that requires assault weapons, such as the AR15, to remain at rifle ranges. That way you haven’t lost your right to own anything. You still own it. You can go to the range and bear that thing all day long, or up until closing time.

Banning bump stocks and raising the age to purchase an assault rifle to 21 is a good start, but it’s not enough. Nobody needs to shoot 30 rounds in a minute to protect their home. You still have regular rifles, shotguns, and pistols. If you’re really good with guns, you’ll only need one bullet.

The lives of children are more important than some warped interpretation of the Second Amendment. The lives of children are more important than the testosterone rush of holding a big gun.

You can still buy T-shirts that say “I have a big penis.”

Come back later for the video. 

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print (please specify which print you want or I won’t mail one). All donations will receive my eternal gratitude

No Riding With Milo


cjones02212017

Filthy, retched, disgusting, deplorable, and horrible conservatives love to quote Milo Yiannopoulos. After today, not so much.

Milo is an author, kinda-sorta journalists for scary right wing publications, rabble-rouser, public bully, and outspoken proponent for hate, bigotry, racism, and fascism. Apparently none of that was too much for Breitbart, Simon & Schuster, or the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC).

In the past Milo received a lifetime ban from Twitter for racist bullying of actress and comedian Leslie Jones for her role in Ghostbusters. Over the weekend videos, that were available for years, surfaced of Milo condoning pedophilia, joking about a teenage sexual encounter with a Catholic priest, and argues about age-of-consent laws. Charming fellow.

Over the past few weeks he has ignited protests at universities where he was scheduled to speak by people who really didn’t want him there. It’s not that they’re against free speech. They’re against providing the platform for a guy who once said “feminism is cancer” and referred to Leslie Jones as a “black dude.” Even though he is gay he’s said that being gay is “detrimental to humanity,” “gay men should get back in the closet,” “aberrant” and a “lifestyle choice guaranteed to bring gay people pain and unhappiness.”  Really charming fellow.

Milo was scheduled as the keynote speaker for the upcoming CPAC event which will also include Donald Trump, whom Milo refers to as “Daddy.” Though CPAC is totally fine with racists and fascists speakers, the pedophilia thing has crossed the line for them. Maybe because it’s a really touchy subject since so many Republicans have been caught with young boys.

Simon & Schuster was set to release his autobiography (yeah, people really wanted to read that thing), for which Milo received a $250,000 advance. That book, appropriately titled “Dangerous,” (ironically enough, also the title for a Michael Jackson album) has been cancelled. It’s more tainted than the movie The Interview.

It’s gotten so bad that even Breitbart….BREITBART…is considering axing him where he serves as one of their editors. How horrible do you have to be that Breitbart, the alt-right fake news website formerly run by Steve Bannon and magnet for racist comments, doesn’t want anything to do with you?

Over the weekend Milo appeared on the Bill Maher show where Larry Wilmore told the guy to “go f*ck himself.” And that was before the pedophilia stuff came out.

I really hope this cartoon doesn’t offend the wrong people. I really don’t have an issue with Chevrolet.

Creative note: I’m in my new house and today I brought my desk over from out of storage. It was a really big priority for me. I can’t draw on my lap or while sitting up in bed. So naturally I forgot to bring the chair for the desk. So this cartoon was drawn in a coffee shop. I tweeted out an invitation to come watch me draw but I didn’t disclose which coffee place. I’m mean like that.

There was a girl there looking for a guy named Scott she was meeting for the first time from a dating site. So if you see me out in the near future with a very attractive brunette my name is “Scott.”

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