covid

Futbol, Covid, and Snails


CjonesRGB12012021

There is a new surge of COVID in Europe, and the new variant, Omnicron from South Africa, has been detected on the continent. Fortunately, western Europe has a high vaccination rate. Eastern Europe, well, it’s a lot like West Virginia, but with more teeth.

While there are new cases of COVID in western Europe, the death rate is low…at least for now. That’s because most people in western Europe are vaccinated. Vaccines are not a guarantee you won’t catch COVID but most cases are mild in people who have received them.

If the United States is hit by a new wave, or this new variant arrives and it’s as badass as we fear, we’re not going to do as well with it as western Europe has. Only about 62 percent of our nation is vaccinated, and that’s not enough. The take here is: Get vaccinated. I’m due for my booster this week.

Does the fact I’m vaccinated make me better than those who are not? Yes. Yes, it does.

There is no excuse not to be vaccinated in this nation. The availability is everywhere. Vaccines have been approved for children. It’s very effective against COVID. Also, it’s free.

A lot of stereotypes about nations are not entirely true. Not everyone in England walks around with a stick up their butt. Not everyone in Ireland is a drunk (right?). I’m sure not every Frenchman has a mistress or is a rude smelly snail eater. I’m pretty positive every girl in Switzerland doesn’t dress like the Swiss Miss, no matter how much you fantasize about it. Has everyone in Iceland slept with one of their cousins? Does everyone in Holland wear wooden shoes? Is every Italian male an ass pincher? Is everyone in Greece naked on a beach? And I’m sure not every European believes the United States is full of yokels who eat a ton of bacon each morning with an AR-15 strapped to their backs while being too stupid to get vaccinated against a virus that’s killed over 700,000 in this nation.

OK, maybe some stereotypes are true.

Note: Short blog today because I’m not really feeling it after receiving some devastating news about one of my best friends last night. More information on that later.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Europe Is A Hoax


CNN11212021

Here’s your cartoon for this week’s CNN Opinion newsletter. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday. 

I drew this last Friday shortly after my editor approved it after viewing the rough. Usually, I create a brand new canvas and start all over. I usually open the rough to view as a guide on my other computer screen, though I may change the entire layout. I never trace a rough because that kills the spontaneity. A lot of cartoonists do trace their own outline of a cartoon and there’s nothing wrong with that. I just never liked it much. But sometimes, I’ll really like the vibe of the rough and instead of opening a new canvas, go back to the rough and draw on top of it. That’s what I did with this one.

I couldn’t recapture the faces in the new drawing the way I did in the rough…so I just kept the faces in the rough. I went back over them, altered a few features, and sharpened it up. The rest of it was redrawn and of course, I had to do the lettering all over again because the lettering in the rough is always crap.

Most of all, I had to keep the ponytail. I was thinking about the character Paul Reiser plays in the Netflex series, The Kominsky Method.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Big Bird Attacked By Big Turd


Cjones11102021

Senator and above-ground CHUD Ted Cruz has now attacked Big Bird for assuring children they don’t have to be afraid of the vaccines for the coronavirus.

After American six-year-olds, became eligible for the Pfizer-BioNTech coronavirus vaccine last week, Big Bird did a public service announcement to comfort children and to promote vaccine awareness. Big Bird got his vaccination and tweeted, “My wing is feeling a little sore, but it’ll give my body an extra protective boost that keeps me and others healthy.”

President Biden replied to Big Bird and tweeted, “Good on ya’, Big Bird. Getting vaccinated is the best way to keep your whole neighborhood safe.”

This is just a lot of fun while being also educational about the vaccine. This PSA can actually save lives and help us defeat the pandemic. Enter Ted Cruz.

Ted Cruz is worse than Philadelphia Eagles fans who once booed Santa Claus. Ted Cruz went after Big Bird. Ted tweeted, “Government propaganda … for your 5-year-old!” No, you idiot. It’s for six-year-olds. Maybe we need to do another PSA just for Republican senators. Didn’t a Republican win an election last week by claiming he’s the “education candidate?”

Ted later sent out another Big Bird-hater tweet with a video of him kicking a door in. Nice. I thought Ted Cruz approved of the Gestapo.

A couple weeks ago, Ted Cruz defended people giving the Heil salute. You know who gives that salute. Nazis. Ted Cruz defends Nazis and attacks Big Bird. But what else would you expect from a guy who worships a cult figure who called his wife, Heidi, “ugly.”

Because Republicans are in a race to prove who can be the vilest, Lisa Boothe, a Fox News contributor I have never heard of before, tweeted, “Brainwashing children who are not at risk from covid” was “twisted.” I don’t know why she used three quotation marks. I quote them without editing their fuckups. Maybe we need a PSA for Fox News contributors.

Arizona state Senator Wendy Rogers, a pro-Trump Republican, tweeted, “Big Bird is a communist.” That’s funny from someone who defends white nationalists.

Tennessee Republican congressional candidate Robby Starbuck suggested that Big Bird could die from the vaccine. “*7 days later* Big blood clot Bird is served!” It’s fun to go after a beloved character from a children’s program and spread disinformation. It’s fun to tell children, “Big Bird’s going to die!!!!” Starbucks should sue to force him to change his name. Nazi-lovers sharing your name is not good for business. Nobody except Republicans would buy from Nazi Starbucks.

This is not the first time the government has used public figures, real and imaginary, to advocate for vaccines. In the past, vaccinations were advocated in PSAs by Elvis, Muhammad Ali, C3PO, RD-D2, and even Big Bird back in the 70s. I’m not aware of conservatives being upset back then, though they did like attacking Muhammad Ali, you know, because he’s black and they couldn’t ever find a white guy who could beat him up. Personally, I’d like to see Ted Cruz go ten rounds with Big Bird. My money’s on the bird.

This isn’t the first time Republicans have called for the head of Big Bird. In 2012, while saying he loved Big Bird during a presidential debate with President Obama, Mitt Romney promised to kill Big Bird. During the Trump administration, the orange one tried to kill the yellow one every year he was in office. Again, the education candidates want to kill education. Trump’s Education Secretary, whose ideas for public education are being copied by Virginia’s new governor-elect, was worried about children being attacked in public schools by bears and Big Bird. I mean, Ted Cruz has already told us Big Bird can kick down doors. Elmo’s probably an evil samurai. The Count probably counted illegal votes for Biden. And a one, ah ah ah. And Oscar the Grouch? He’s grouchy and lives in garbage, so they probably love him.

So many people voted for Glenn Youngkin last week over frustration that schools were closed and their kids had to be taught at home. Yet, Republicans are attacking vaccinating kids, which will help keep schools open. Do we need another PSA?

I think there should be a public service announcement with Santa Claus, that way we can Ted Cruz starting a fight with Santa.

There should also be public service announcements stating:
Don’t watch Fox News.
Trump lost.
Republicans are liars.
There are no public schools in this nation teaching Critical Race Theory.
Ted Cruz is the Zodiac Killer.

Why are Republicans constantly trying to make this nation a worse place? I really do wish Big Bird would kick Ted Cruz’s ass.

Someone on Twitter posing as Big Bird did send a tweet to Ted saying, “Ted Cruz can’t tell you how to get to Sesame Street, but he can tell you how to get to Cancun.”

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

The Rodgers Rate


Cjones11092021

There is a common trait among anti-vaxxers. Selfishness.

When an anti-vaxxer talks about vaccines, in addition to basing everything they believe on lies and conspiracy theories, they demonstrate just how selfish they are. They talk about how it affects them. They don’t really talk about others except when it comes to how their kid shouldn’t be forced to wear a face mask or be vaccinated, ignoring how it affects other kids. This is selfishness.

Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers is a selfish greedy rude inconsiderate right-wing conspiracy-minded lying asshole. The guy makes $31.5 million a year and he can’t be considerate enough toward his teammates to get vaccinated against the coronavirus. Not only did he put himself before the team and endanger their season, but he also endangered their health. And when asked by the press, he dodged the question over his vaccination status and became a worm by saying he was “immunized.” Then he blames the press for his situation.

Surprise surprise. After refusing to get vaccinated, Aaron Rodgers caught the coronavirus. He’s going to miss at least the next two games. Last August, he told the press he was “immunized.” Now, he says never lied and he’s not “some sort of anti-vax flat-Earther.” He said on the Pat McAfee Show, “I’m somebody who’s a critical thinker. You guys know me. I march to the beat of my own drum.”

He’s not a critical thinker and he’s not marching to the beat of his own drum. He’s marching with the conspiracy theorists. When you create a problem with your own arrogance, selfishness, and narcissism, then come back with a defense that blames others, using words like “woke,” “cancel culture,” and “witch hunt,” you may as well be a part of Qanon. These terms are from the sheepish culture of the Trump cult. Quite frankly, Aaron Rodgers should not be “reinstated” as the Packer’s QB.

Rodgers said he could not get the Moderna or Pfizer shots because he has an allergy to an ingredient in the mRNA vaccines made by those companies. I hope he’s not allergic to tinfoil. Rodgers did not identify the specific allergy. I wonder how much research Rodgers has put into all the medication and injections he’s had to take throughout his career for pain and surgeries.

Rodgers says he refuses to take the Johnson & Johnson vaccine because of the horror stories he’s heard concerning it. Do you know what is dangerous to your health? Playing football. He’s worried a vaccine will lower his sperm count, seriously, but not worried about long-term effects from concussions. If Aaron Rodgers is so concerned for his health to be this much of a crying baby about it, then why is he ever on a football field? Oh yeah, $31.5 million a year.

By the way, there is no evidence that any of the vaccines for the coronavirus causes sterilization.

Remember, Rodgers claims he’s not a flat-earth anti-vaxxer and marches to the “beat of his own drum,” but he took vaccine advice from podcaster and horrible comedian fucknut conspiracy junky Joe Rogan. Rodgers started taking Ivermectin, monoclonal antibodies, zinc, vitamin C and D, and hydroxychloroquine after Rogan advised him to do so. Ivermectin is an anti-parasitic medication, usually for livestock, that the Food and Drug Administration says is NOT an effective treatment for COVID. You can only get Ivermectin with a prescription…or if you make $31.5 million a year.

Also, if you’re taking hydroxychloroquine, you outed yourself as a Trumper. Congratulations, Aaron. You just made me hate you more than I hate Tom Brady.

Rodgers said the NFL coronavirus policies are “not based on science at all,” meanwhile, he’s taking medical advice from Joe Rogan, who is NOT a doctor or a scientist. Joe Rogan is the kind of guy who’d recommend giving your dog chocolate. Rodgers also said the league’s policies are “based purely on trying to out and shame people.”

Rodgers claimed he went through his own immunization protocols he developed with his medical team. He said the immunization had been around for centuries and doctors had been using it for decades and that it was for adults and children who can’t get traditional vaccines. When asked by Pat McAfee, Rodgers refused to reveal what the immunization methods are or any members of his “medical team.” Was it Joe Rogan? It was Joe Rogan. He did say his “medical team” was composed of holistic doctors, homeopaths, “Harvard MDs and brilliant people from all over the country.” Sure.

While some vaccinated people do catch the coronavirus, 100 percent of the people taking the Aaron Rodgers’ home immunization treatment have caught the coronavirus.

Speaking of Pat McAfee, he is also a broadcaster for the World Wrestling Entertainment company, making him the perfect person for Aaron to give this interview to because professional wrestling is scripted too.

Rodgers claimed the media was lying about him, called them a “woke mob ” that was trying to “cancel” him. Yup, he’s a Trumper. He also speculated he caught the virus from someone who’s vaccinated.

Then, just like all right-wingers do, he attempted to quote Dr. Martin Luther King in his defense, which is like trying to have a black friend. Since he has at least two weeks off, maybe Aaron can go down to Dallas and wait for JFK Jr to appear.

Rodgers took MLK’s quote, “One has not only a legal, but a moral responsibility to obey just laws. Conversely, one has a moral responsibility to disobey unjust laws.” Rodgers turned it into, “You have a moral obligation to object to unjust rules and rules that make no sense.” Well scoot over, Rosa Parks, and make room for Aaron.

By the way, Aaron, MLK was “canceled.” You, not so much.

Aaron Rodgers is selfish and a liar. He says the Packers knew he wasn’t vaccinated and if this is true, shame on the Packers for enabling Aaron’s bullshit. Now, they get two weeks without him. Letting Aaron Rodgers make his own health decisions, or allowing him to let Joe Rogan make them, is like allowing children to operate garbage disposals unsupervised. Qanon cultists shouldn’t be allowed to make big decisions and should probably only order from the kids’ menu.

But, if the Packers were lied to by Aaron Rodgers, they need to ship his ass out of town. Send him to the Jets. That’ll be a good punishment. Rodgers already whined to get traded before the season began, probably because he has to wipe his own ass. Maybe he can get Joe Rogan to do it.

There was no “woke” mob coming for Rodgers at any time, but there may be an angry mob from Green Bay coming for him now.

Aaron Rodgers is a great quarterback…and a horrible human being. We haven’t seen a quarterback this selfish narcissistic, and whiny since Brett Favre.

How can Rodgers get away with lying about his vaccination status and Farve continue playing after sending unwanted dick pics, but Colin Kaepernick still can’t get an NFL tryout after protesting racism?

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Watch me draw:

Fox Dribble


Cjones10032021

The National Basketball Association has been the most progressive of major league sports in this nation for the past decade. They’ve led the way on race relations and civil rights while white idiots in the NFL and MLB are still making racist comments and exhibiting mind-dazzling ignorance. Drew Brees is about as woke as country singer Jason Aldean, who either sings “Farmer’s Daughter” or “Big Green Tractor.” I would ask Alexa, but I’m afraid she might start playing one of those songs.

Also, Colin Kaepernick still can’t get an invite to try out for a team. That’s some racist shit, NFL.

But when it comes to the coronavirus, NBA players are sounding a lot like that racist blonde bimbo on Fox News who told them to “shut up and dribble.”

A lot of NBA players are saying no to vaccines and the players’ union is telling the league that mandatory vaccinations are a “non-starter.”

When the pandemic began, it shut down the season. When the season resumed, it wasn’t for every team and for the teams that were playing, they were in a bubble at Disneyland. And now, prominent players are refusing to get the vaccine. Do they want to go back to the bubble? Do they want to stop playing in front of fans?

There are only two NBA cities with vaccine mandates for entertainment, like going to clubs, bars, movies, and sporting events. These mandates also affects players, even if they’re stubborn millionaire assholes. But since these mandates are only in two NBA cities, they only affect three teams, the Golden State Warriors, the New York Knicks, and the Brooklyn Nets. In case you’re a Republican, Brooklyn is a part of New York City.

The Knicks say they’re 100 percent vaccinated. Everyone on the team has got the jab. The Nets, not so much. Kyrie Irving, a star for the Nets, isn’t just a skeptic, it looks like he’s an anti-vaxxer conspiracy theorist. He’s liking accounts on Instagram that are pushing the debunked-microchip conspiracy theory. If the league proposal goes through that unvaxxed players can’t play in vaccine-mandated cities, players like Kyrie will be skipping home games and salads.

Andrew Wiggin, a player for Golden State, is also refusing to be vaccinated citing a religious exemption. Apparently, whatever religion he belongs to requires its practitioners to be selfish entitled assholes.

There are about 50-60 unvaccinated players which is a good percentage for the league, because there are currently 637 active players in the NBA. But one unvaccinated player is too many.

Kyrie and others have made the argument for their “personal freedom.” Where have we heard that bullshit before? We have to make the same points to a few NBA players that we’re making to dumbass Republican governors? Your contaminated self is violating my freedom not to get COVID.

The players’ union hopes to reach an agreement on this with the league. Here’s an agreement: Stop being a bunch of whiny-ass baby conspiracy theorist and get the fucking vax. If DoorDash, Lyft, and McDonald’s can force all their employees to get the vaccine, the NBA can too.

I understand black Americans’ skepticism of vaccines, and black players make up 74% of the NBA. They have a better argument for vaccine skepticism than white yee-haw fuckers. In the past, this nation has practiced medical experimentation on its black population. The government has not always been friends to Black America. But when you’re talking about microchips in the vaccine, your position is no longer rational. Also, I wouldn’t worry about the government tracking you through microchips in vaccines when you’re on Instagram.

Now, Lebron James, who’s been a huge voice for civil rights and an advocate for education. He’s been a champion for confronting racism and sexism. He’s been the poster dude for all things good and responsible. Yet, he resisted getting the vaccine. Now, he says after doing the research, he’s gotten the vaccine but he won’t advise others to do the same. Lebron James now has the official position of Donald Trump. Take the jab in secret but don’t tell anyone else to do it.

If Lebron spoke out and encouraged everyone to get it, and even said there should be a mandate, there would be a mandate. He’s that powerful. And if he’s done the research on getting the jab, then he knows there should be vaccine mandates because that’s in the same research. Players like Lebron and Steph Curry have been brave in confronting Donald Trump over his racism, but they’re being cowards by not confronting their own teammates.

I think every city in this nation, especially cities with major league teams, should adopt the same vaccine mandates as New York City and San Francisco. That will force all these players to get the vaccine. How many of them do you believe would be willing to give up their season?

A couple of players did give up their season in professional sports last year, but not because of vaccine mandates…but because they didn’t want to catch COVID. We didn’t have the vaccine last year but we do now. A study has been released stating NFL teams that have the highest vaccination rates among their players have a playing advantage against teams with lower vaccination rates.

By the way, how much freaky shit do athletes already put inside their bodies? How much strange do players get on the road, which the league is well-noted for? And these players are afraid there’s a risk to the vaccines?

Two weeks ago, seven coaches for the New Orleans Saints had to miss a game after they all tested positive for the coronavirus. Five of the coaches were vaccinated but two weren’t…which means they most likely got it from unvaccinated players and coaches. A player also tested positive along with a nutritionist.

Without these coaches, the Saints lost to the Carolina Panthers 26-7. The week before that game, the Saints beat the Green Bay Packers 38-3 and last week, they beat the New England Patriots 28-13. The Saints don’t suck. The Panthers didn’t beat them. The Saints beat themselves by not mandating everyone to be vaccinated.

At this point, not getting vaccinated is stupid, even if your name is Lebron. If these players want to be professional, want a competitive advantage, and want to do the best for their teammates, community, and families, they will all get the vaccine.

You don’t need to shut up and dribble, but you should be mandated to be vaccinated before you can bounce a ball.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are FIVE copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Vax That Salad


Cjones09252021

I had a stop-the-presses moment last night.

Like I do every day, I had jotted down potential topics to cartoon about. Some of the topics are heavy subjects, like immigration, the debt ceiling, Texas abortion, missing indigenous people and Gabby Petito, Haiti, Trump’s lawsuits, etc, etc. As I said before, I like to have a definite idea (not just a concept) for my next cartoon before going to bed. I will toss and turn all night and have nightmares of crosshatching if I don’t. Seriously, I have dreams of crosshatching.

Around 11:00 P.M, I heard the news about disgraced scumbag General and former National Security Adviser Michael Flynn. This guy is a piece of work. But, my gears went into motion for a Flynn cartoon. I wrote down three ideas and was giggling with each of them. I cracked open a Blue Moon while amusing myself and kept writing, self-editing, more writing, another Blue Moon, and then at 2:00 A.M, I said to myself, “Oh my god, it’s 2:00 A.M.” I knew I had my idea and I should get some sleep. The debt ceiling can wait. Michael Flynn said something stupid.

Flynn was forced into retirement from the military and there are rumors this is because he’s a raving lunatic. President Obama knew Flynn was a liar and had him removed from his position as Assistant Director of National Intelligence. During Flynn’s tenure, he became the first official from the United States invited into the Russian Military Intelligence headquarters in Moscow, which was seriously frowned upon by our government. He attempted a second visit which was thwarted. Then, he tried to get Russian intelligence officials inside the headquarters for the Central Intelligence Agency, which was knocked down by James Clapper, the Director of National Intelligence. There was concern, and it was reported by other officials that Flynn may have been compromised by the Russians. Ya’ think?

After he was fired, he was paid to speak at a Moscow event where he shared a table with Vladimir Putin. He later argued that Russia didn’t pay him. They paid his agent who then paid him. It’s that kind of logic that’ll get you a high-ranking position with the Trump administration…that and being compromised by the Russians.

President Obama advised Donald Trump NOT to hire Michael Flynn, probably because he’s compromised by the Russians. So naturally, Trump hired Michael Flynn as his National Security Adviser, and once again, proving President Obama is much smarter than he is. Flynn didn’t last a month as he had to be fired, supposedly for lying to the vice-president (sic) over his communications with…take a guess…Russians.

Later, he struck a plea-bargain admitting guilt in lying to the FBI which he later recanted probably because he knew he’d get a Trump pardon. Trump’s Justice Department tried to drop the case that Robert Mueller has already sent to the courts. Later, Donald Trump pardoned Flynn.

Then, Flynn took an oath pledging loyalty to Qanon which supersedes the oath he took swearing loyalty and to protect the United States and Constitution. In the aftermath of Trump losing the election, Flynn, and the attorney they shared, conspiracy theorist Sidney Powell, met with Trump in the Oval Office and suggested he suspend the Constitution, silence the press (people like me), declare martial law, and use the military to conduct a new election. Remember, this fucker took an oath to defend our nation and the Constitution and he’s in the Oval freaking Office, after being compromised by Russians and lying to the FBI, advocating the president (sic) suspend the Constitution and overthrow an election with a military coup. Go to Hell, Michael Flynn.

After Trump left the White House, because he lost the election to President Biden by seven million votes, Flynn voiced support for a “Myanmar-style coup” to restore Trump to power. Then, he got banned from Twitter for life.

Like all Trump supporters, and Trump himself, Michael Flynn was never about loyalty to the United States, patriotism, democracy, the Constitution, or free elections. Remember when we all shared those same principles, no matter our party affiliation? Turns out during all those years, Republicans were lying. Reinstating, or putting anybody in the White House without winning an election is un-American (except you, Gerald Ford, but that was a technicality). Even spreading the Big Lie is un-American.

That was just a brief summary of the lunacy, criminality, and sedition of Michael Flynn. There’s much more. Oh, so much more. There’s a lot about his denial and theories of the coronavirus and vaccines. He’s claimed in the past that the coronavirus is a hoax, was used to destroy Trump and to control us, and that you need a vaccine passport to travel. Now, he should know that’s a lie because he’s been traveling all over the country to speak at lunatic conventions about how you need a vaccine passport to travel. And last night, he supported a brand new conspiracy theory that the vaccine is being hidden in food, specifically salad dressing.

As a reader of mine already pointed out on the posting of this cartoon on Facebook, that dressing would Russian.

Appearing on some internet conspiracy show, Flynn said, “Somebody sent me a thing this morning where they’re talking about putting the vaccine into salad dressing. Or salads. Have you seen this? I mean it’s—and I’m thinking to myself, this is the Bizarro World, right? This is definitely the Bizarro World. … These people are seriously thinking about how to impose their will on us in our society, and it has to stop.” Really, Michael? A “thing?” I got a thing for ya’, you lying disgusting betraying traitor.

What is bizarre is Flynn was actually our National Security Adviser for 24 days. No, not the 24-days part.

There is a study by the University of California researching how vaccines could be grown in food, like plants (in case you’re a Republican, plants are what most salads consist of), so people could ingest their vaccines instead of being jabbed. But this is for the future, not now, and not to trick people. It probably won’t even be for COVID because hopefully, and if idiots like Flynn could stop getting in the way of it, COVID won’t exist anymore by the time we get edible vax.

There are people researching time travel and I know for a fact that doesn’t exist yet because if it did, Donald Trump never would have been president and we’d all be saying, “Michael Flynn who?”. Researching something doesn’t mean we have it. Wilbur and Orville had to research flight before they could actually fly. They didn’t just suddenly put a pair of wings on a bicycle and go, “Wheeee!”

I also know the government isn’t hiding vaccines to the coronavirus in salads. How do I know this? Because if the deep-state government people were hiding the vaccine to trick Trump cultists and Republicans, they wouldn’t be hiding it in salads. That wouldn’t help us stop the virus at all.

How do you trick a dog to eat a pill? You wrap the pill in cheese or peanut butter. You don’t put the pill inside cauliflower. You want the dog to eat it, not just look at with a quizzical expression. And if you give a dog cauliflower, he might run away. I would.

So Michael Flynn is trying to suggest the vaccine is hidden in a patch of arugula? Why didn’t he just claim it’s in sushi? We’d never get the vaccine inside them if they have to learn how to use chopsticks. Fork that!

But, Republicans aren’t eating a lot of vegetables. Look at Trump. He’s never eaten a salad in his life. He thinks the five food groups are, KFC, Big Macs, ketchup, hot dogs, and Arby’s. George H.W. Bush took an official presidential position against broccoli. The entire Republican Party freaked out when First Lady Michelle Obama tried to introduce more salads to America’s schoolchildren. No, if are going to hide the vaccine to trick Republicans, which will be easier than getting dogs to eat cheese, we’ll hide it in some shit they’ll actually eat.

Let’s start with Chick-fil-a. If nothing else, we can scare them from eating there and helping Chick-fil-a finance homophobic hate groups.

Here’s the plan, folks: We hide the vaccine in food the Chick-fil-a menu. We put that shit in their nuggets, their chicken sandwiches, their waffle fries. We’ll even put it in the lemonade. Chick-fil-a has salads but like the ones at McDonalds, I’m sure they’re just for show. Who the fuck goes to McDonalds to eat a salad?

Now, on Sundays, since Chick-fil-a is closed because they’re religious zealots, we’ll hide the vax in food at Cracker Barrel and Cheesecake Factory. Although we’re not actually doing any of this, let’s just say we are…and spread the word.

We, here at Deep-State Incorporated, in conjunction with our reptilian people baby-eating brethren, by praying to Satan, have also created an inhalable vaccine. We’re putting that in MyPillows.

Spread the word.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are FIVE copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Wapped By Fox


cjones03182021

So, just how many Fox lies can I insert into one cartoon?

I got George Soros-funded migrant caravans, Mexico sending rapists and murderers, the border being crashed by covid-carriers, illegal immigrant voters, attacks on mail-in voting, voter fraud, the Big Lie over the stolen election, Dr. Seuss and Pepe Le Pew being canceled, immigrants wearing Biden shirts at the border, attacks and fear-mongering over LGBTQ, and false equivalencies between vandalism at the Portland Federal Courthouse and actual Trump terrorists attack the United States Capitol. On top of all that, I got conservative outrage over the WAP song. I’m sure I left something out.

And this cartoon is why I don’t unfriend or block MAGAts on Facebook. Seeing several of the troglodytes creating posts on already debunked bullshit, then seeing the exact same thing again and again from conservative political cartoonists, teaches me exactly what’s being discussed at Fox News without having to actually watch Fox News.

Several years ago, there was a poll that showed people who watched the Daily Show were more informed than viewers of Fox News. I totally believe that and I know it’s true. To be effective at satire, you need to know what’s going on. You will actually be more informed reading the Onion, Andy Borowitz, and my cartoons than you ever will be by watching Sean Hannity, Jeanine Pirro, Laura Ingraham, or Tucker Carlson. And I’m not trying to say my cartoons are all that, but Fox is all suck.

Fox News is also poison. Not only do they spread lies, but they fear-monger to the point that people use the lies to validate their racism and terrorism. David Duke and other white supremacists say Tucker is must-watch TV for them. And when you have stars of your network speaking at Donald Trump’s hate rallies, with one of them having nightly phone calls with him, then you’re no longer a news channel…you’re propaganda.

People talk about the political divisions in this country, partisanship, and tribalism. I admit that I contribute to the division, but I don’t need to use bullshit to do it. Fox News lies. Fox News even tells you that you can’t trust Fox News.

When defending Tucker Carlson in court in a libel suit, Fox News’ lawyers successfully argued that you can’t believe anything Tucker says. Executives at Fox News are now describing themselves as the “opposition” to the Joe Biden administration. An actual news agency shouldn’t be the opposition or ally to politicians. What happened to “fair and balanced?” Sure, that wasn’t ever true but when you tell a lie, you gotta stick with it. You have to make sure your lies don’t expose your previous lies. Did four years of being Trump TV make Fox News dumber?

Do yourself and your country a favor. When you walk into a business, whether it’s a garage, restaurant, bar, doctor’s office, or strip club, and they’re playing Fox News on their TV, walk out or tell them to change it. I have actually sat down at the counter at a Denny’s and told them they had to switch their TV from Fox to another network or turn it off, or I wasn’t buying their pancakes. Just like there are other options for news, there are other pancake options.

Except, Fox News isn’t news. If you switch to CNN, MSNBC, or BBC, you’re not going to another option for news from Fox. If you want an option to Fox, you go to Newsmax, One America News, or Duck Dynasty. There are now competition and options for bullshit and hate propaganda. It’s a great time to be a white nationalist terrorist in the United States. In addition to having hate propaganda and other racist entertainment, there are members of the United States Senate who are your friends and supporters.

Sometimes a conservative will come at me for criticizing Fox News, asking when was the last time I gave the network a chance. But I don’t have to give it another chance. It’s been a long time since I put ketchup on a hot dog and I don’t need to do it again to know that it’s wrong, terrible, un-American, and something that’s only for troglodytes without taste, class, sophistication, or culture.

I get my news from actual news sources and I get my Fox News bullshit from Facebook.

Creative note: I woke up late at 7:30 A.M. without a cartoon idea. I had three subjects in mind and then got ideas for two of them…but not on the border lie Fox is spewing. This is the subject I wanted to hit today. Then I got the idea but I still had to write it. So I wrote it, thought of all the Fox silliness I could include, Googled some shit, Googled some more, made a list, framed it into a long sentence, rewrote the sentence, restructured, rewrote again, lettered it all, shifted some of the lines around in Photoshop, enlarged the text a little, and then sent it to my copy editor Laura who told me I left out an “s” in “transsexual.”

About the WAP song: I really don’t care. Sure, it’s nasty and it’s probably horrible music (I only heard a piece of it months ago), but I do love that it infuriates conservatives. Why do conservatives spend so much time watching, reading, and listening to stuff they hate? That would be like me watching Tim Allen’s sitcom while eating a hot dog desecrated with ketchup.

Also, don’t Google the lyrics for the WAP song. I’m really hoping editors don’t know what the line in the cartoon means. Oh, Lord…please don’t Google it.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have SEVEN copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw: