coup

Trump’s Reichstag Moment


Cjones07202021

General Mark Milley, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, was not the only person who believed Donald Trump would make a coup attempt. He’s also not the only person who believed Donald Trump and his supporters were acting like Nazis. People always say you shouldn’t compare anything to Nazis, but in this case, we’re comparing Nazis to Nazis.

First, let me extend a greeting to General Milley: Welcome to Antifa. We’re glad to have you.

Tonight, expect Tucker Carlson to attack General Milley…again. He’s going to attack General Milley for being worried that between the election, which Donald Trump lost, and the inauguration, Trump would attempt a coup. Tucker and other wingnuts will condemn Milley as though he has committed treason for recognizing Donald Trump’s inclination for treason. Most of all, expect Tucker and other Republicans to call the concern of Trump attempting a coup “fake news.” But the thing is, it actually happened.

General Milley, and so many more of us, were right to suspect Trump would commit a coup attempt…because Donald Trump committed a coup attempt. Also, it was pretty much a Russian coup that put him in power in 2016. So yeah, coup coup ka-choo, baby.

I recall before the 2016 election, hearing Republican fucknuts claim that President Obama would refuse to cease power or allow a peaceful transition and that he would become a dictator. I thought they were crazy. Then after Trump was elected…I thought the same thing about him. The different between me and those crazy guys is that I was right.

A book will be published next week detailing Milley’s concerns along with a lot of other juicy nuggets, like Liz Cheney slapping Jim Jordan’s hand away during the Capitol insurrection and telling him, “You fucking did this.” Republicans and generals say “fuck” a lot. The book also reports that Trump called German Chancellor, Angela Merkel, a “bitch,” and that he was raised by the “biggest kraut.”

The book is authored by Washington Post reporters Carol Leonnig and Philip Rucker and titled, “I Alone Can Fix This,” taken from Trump’s statement in his 2016 nomination acceptance speech and the kind of thing a fascist dictator wannabe would say. According to the book, Milley told aides the US was facing a “Reichstag moment” because Donald Trump was preaching “the gospel of the Führer.”

According to the book, after Trump lost the election, an old friend of Milley’s warned him Trump would attempt to “overturn the government” in a desperate bid to cling to power…unconstitutionally. Milley replied, “They may try, but they’re not going to fucking succeed. You can’t do this without the military. You can’t do this without the CIA and the FBI. We’re the guys with guns.”

The part about guns is going to make Trump supporters freak out and go out and buy more guns while issuing tough talk about how they’re ready to fight the government that stole the election and that will now come to their doors to inject them with coronavirus vaccine while taking away their guns and Bibles. Trump supporters claim they need guns to protect themselves from the government when what they want to do is use guns to attack the government.

Milley also referred to Trump’s supporters as Brownshirts, which is a perfect way to describe Trumpian Brownshirts. Milley believed long before the insurrection, like many of us, that “Trump was stoking unrest, possibly in hopes of an excuse to invoke the Insurrection Act and call out the military.” There are reports Trump attempted to do this June 1, 2020, the day he had the military use tear gas to clear Black Lives Matter protesters from Lafayette Square so he could conduct a photo-op outside St. John’s Church with an upside-down Bible.

The “Reichstag moment” is in reference to a fire in the German parliament, which the Nazis used to consolidate their authoritarian rule in 1933. It’s widely believed the culprits who set the fire were the Nazis. Setting fires to get credit for putting them out was a Trump tactic. It’s easy to believe he’d set a fire to consolidate his power and become a America’s first fuhrer.

When Trump’s white nationalist terrorists attacked the Capitol on January 6, General Milley referred to them as Nazis and said they were Boogaloo Boys and Proud Boys. He’s right. He told aides, “These are the same people we fought in the second world war.”

Milley was concerned personnel moves that put Trump goons in positions of power at the Pentagon after the November 2020 election, including the firing of Defense Secretary Mark Esper and the resignation of Attorney General William Barr, were the sign of something sinister to come. And why wouldn’t he believe that when the entire four years of the Trump presidency (sic) were sinister.

Before the coup attempt, Milley told aides, “We’re going to put a ring of steel around this city and the Nazis aren’t getting in.” Except the Nazis got in. The Nazis entered Washington in January, 2017, and while a lot of them are in the Fuhrer Bunker known as Mar-a-Lago, a lot more are still in Washington.

Milley was relieved they got Trump out of town without a successful coup, and our new president inaugurated and that “we landed the ship safely,” but we haven’t cleared our nations of Nazis. Also, you don’t land ships. You land planes. You dock ships. General Milley is not an admiral or in the Air Force.

Every week, we get reports of white nationalist terror groups planning another insurrection attempt. The head Nazi himself has endorsed the pillow Nazi’s belief that Trump will return to power in August. There are still a bunch of Nazis, many at a convention in Dallas last week, who believe Trump won the election and will return to power without an election. There are still Trump Brownshirts in Congress protecting Nazis and refusing an investigation into Nazis.

And tonight on Fox News, there will be a Nazi and Brownshirt boy telling us the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs is committing treason for calling out Nazis.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are ZERO copies of my book in stock, which usually go for $45.00 each, signed. Another order will be placed soon. You may pre-order if you want. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

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General Coup-Coup


Cjones06052021

There are news reports that disgraced general and convicted douche canoe and traitor, Michael Flynn, suggested there should be a coup to restore Donald Trump to power. He did not “suggest” there should be a coup in the United States. He endorsed it and said, “It should happen here.”

Flynn was national security adviser for 22 days. President Obama told Donald Trump not to hire Flynn, so Donald Trump hired Flynn…who had lobbied for foreign nations and been paid by Vladimir Putin for appearances in Russia. Flynn was fired for lying to Mike Pence and later pled guilty to two counts of making false statements and agreed to cooperate…then flipped on his flip and cried to have his guilty plea reversed. Trump’s attorney general, William Barr, tried to get courts to drop what his department pushed for and ultimately, Donald Trump pardoned Flynn.

After the election, Flynn endorsed martial law, suspending the Constitution, and silencing the media to overturn the election. He also pledged an oath to Qanon. Now, he’s on the Russian app Telegram crying that he was misquoted about endorsing a coup. Why is he denying this stuff on Telegram? Because Twitter kicked him off their platform for shit like endorsing coups.

This is NOT the first time Flynn has suggested a coup. When he wanted Trump to overturn the election, that would have been a coup. This time, he was at a Qanon fucknut convention, when an audience member asked him, “I want to know why what happened in Myanmar can’t happen here.” There was a coup in Myanmar.

Flynn replied, “No reason. I mean, it should happen here. No reason.”

Now he’s saying that he said, “No reason it should happen here.” No, fucker. You said. “No reason.” Period. “It should happen here.” That’s like saying “don’t stop” while someone’s touching you in your special place, and later you claim you didn’t like it by saying, “I said, ‘don’t…stop.'”

Congressman and fully-committed Fruit Loop, Screwy Louie Gohmert, was also at the lunatic event and tried to downplay the January 6 insurrection. He defended it by saying the attack on Pearl Harbor and 9/11 were bigger attacks on our democracy. Even if he was correct, that’s not good company. But, those attacks weren’t trying to overturn our government. Take a history lesson, Louie.

One in four Republicans believe in the Qanon theory that Satanic-worshipping lovers of baby back ribs made with real babies are controlling the government and it’s going to take violence to restore the “rightful” leaders of our nation. An opinion poll taken in May says 53% (if in case you’re a Republican, that’s more than half) believe Donald Trump won the election.

Sidney Powell, whose lawyers are using the argument in court that nobody should take her seriously, says there will be a new inauguration, Biden will move out of the White House, and Donald Trump will move back in. Just be glad both men won’t be living in the White House together, which sounds like the premise for a really bad sitcom.

Finally, Donald Trump expects to be reinstated by August. That’s what he’s been telling friends, family, and any squirrels on his golf course who will listen, according to New York Times Washington correspondent, Maggie Haberman.

Donald Trump ordered an attack on our government to overturn the election to reinstall himself to power. Donald Trump weaponized the presidency against his own nation. Instead of apologizing, expressing regret, or even playing dumb, he’s telling friends he’s going to do it again.

While it’s fun to laugh at these goons, we should also be concerned.

Like it or not, Donald Trump is a former president (sic). He has created a cult and his followers obey him and believe anything he says. Proof of this is last January 6. And, the Republican Party is doing everything it can to embrace him. A majority of Republicans, not just racist Qanon maniacs, are willing to destroy democracy for their cult leader.

Republicans don’t love America anymore. It’s all about the cult.

General Flynn should be in prison. Right now, he may be committing new crimes that his previous pardon doesn’t cover. He swore an oath to defend this nation, not attack it with a coup. Donald Trump should be in a prison cell right beside him. It will be safer for this nation to have those two men locked away. They are national security risks.

Republicans would be better off listening to the Cocoa Puffs bird than listening to Trump and his assorted goons. They’re all cuckoo for treason.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have two copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

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Trump Tapes


cjones01052021

After hearing tapes of Donald Trump’s call with Georgia’s secretary of state, I’m even more convinced he’s going to issue a self-pardon.

On Saturday, Donald Trump called Brad Raffensperger, the secretary of state, and harangued the guy for over an hour. It was a phone call the secretary shouldn’t have taken. Raffensperger was kind and courteous, telling Donald Trump at one point, “You have the wrong data,” instead of losing his cool and saying, “Stop calling me after freebasing 8chan, you corrupt orange conspiracy-minded lunatic!!!!”. Or something to that effect.

Donald Trump’s defense in that he didn’t break the law yesterday would be that he honestly believes in everything he said. He believes votes for Biden were counted three times. He believes dead people were voting. He believes out-of-state residents voted. He believes Dominion voting machines hijacked the election for Biden. He believes Dominion took out machines after the election so they couldn’t be inspected, or inner parts of them were replaced. He believes officials are stealing the election from him. He believes Fulton County is corrupt. He believes ballots were “shredded” in Fulton County. He believes the count is off by “hundreds of thousands” of votes. He believes a water main broke in a room where people were counting votes, then they rushed out leaving ballots unattended and while they were gone, leprechauns fucked with them or some shit like that….anyway. His best defense is that he’s fucking nuts.

And being desperate and nuts isn’t a great defense when you’re president (sic). I mean, do we really want a lunatic as our president (sic)? Apparently, a little less than half our nation does. Half our nation is comprised of lunatics.

But in regards to Donald Trump’s defense, can he be excused if he really doesn’t believe he was threatening Georgia’s secretary of state and his lawyer, Ryan Germany (who Trump said has a very nice last name) with prison if they didn’t overturn the state election for him?

While it was rambling and at times, barely coherent, it was a threat when Trump said, “But the ballots are corrupt. And you’re going to find that they are — which is totally illegal, it is more illegal for you than it is for them because, you know what they did and you’re not reporting it. That’s a criminal — that’s a criminal offense. And you can’t let that happen. That’s a big risk to you and to Ryan, your lawyer. And that’s a big risk. But they are shredding ballots, in my opinion, based on what I’ve heard. And they are removing machinery and they’re moving it as fast as they can, both of which are criminal finds. And you can’t let it happen and you are letting it happen. You know, I mean, I’m notifying you that you’re letting it happen.”

The highlights from that one paragraph alone: That’s criminal. That’s a big risk to you. It’s more illegal for you than it is for them. I’m notifying you that you’re letting it happen.

The most sketchy part of the conversation, out of a lot of sketchy shit, is when Donald Trump told Raffensperger to get him a specific number of votes. Donald Trump told Raffensperger to give him 11,780 more votes than he currently has. Why that number? Because Joe Biden beat him by 11,779. These votes don’t exist, so where are they supposed to come from?

In the call, Trump said, “All I want to do is this. I just want to find 11,780 votes, which is one more than we have because we won the state.” He then said, “So what are we going to do here, folks? I only need 11,000 votes. Fellas, I need 11,000 votes. Give me a break.”

Donald Trump is telling a state official to break the law, to disenfranchise voters, to overturn an election, and to violate democracy. This is what a mob boss does. This is literally what a fascist does.

Everything Donald Trump believes is a lie. And since he needs more than Georgia to flip for him to win the election, who is in other states is he calling to flip?

On Wednesday, Congress will count the electoral college and validate the election for President-Elect Joe Biden. Currently, we know of 140 House members and 12 senators who are going to object. They’re objecting to democracy. They never should have signed on to this coup but after hearing the tape of Trump’s call with Georgia, they should step back. Elected representatives, you know, who got their positions by being elected, shouldn’t object to an election.

It’s bad enough there are insane people out there believing all these conspiracy theories. I’ve had these Qnuts tweet at me in all caps that Biden will never be inaugurated. Do they believe they’ll find corruption and prove Donald Trump won, or do they believe in something worse? Do they believe something terrible is going to happen? Are they part of the plan in making something terrible happen?

Donald Trump is inviting and encouraging his MAGAt base to come to Washington on January 6. What will he do after Wednesday? What argument will they take? What new plan will develop to keep Donald Trump on a throne of power? Trump goons have already plotted to kidnap the female governor of Michigan after Trump tweeted “Liberate Michigan.” During one of the debates, he told Proud Boys to “stand by.” What is he telling them to do now? What are they discussing on 8chan, Parler and wherever the hell is that dark shadows congregate?

During the call, Raffensperger tried to shoot down Trump’s conspiracy theories and said, “The problem you have with social media, they — people can say anything.” Donald Trump replied, “Oh, this isn’t social media. This is Trump media.”

Trump media is where they decide their own facts. What are they saying over there?

This is not the first record of Donald Trump engaging in corruption in a phone call. Transcripts were released of his call with the president of Ukraine where he demanded him to investigate Joe Biden and his son or Donald Trump wouldn’t released military aid that had already been approved by Congress. Donald Trump was impeached for that and the Senate of corrupt Republicans acquitted him. Now, he’s breaking the law by telling, and begging, a government official to break the law.

Donald Trump probably won’t need any defense because Georgia is controlled by Republicans so they won’t prosecute him and federally, he’s going to pardon himself. Since the election, Donald Trump has proven time and time again that voting him out of office was the right thing to do.

Joe Biden won the election. This is a fact. There was no mass voter fraud. In the United States, the loser doesn’t win the election (unless he/she wins the most votes but loses the electoral college, but we’ll get back to that another day). If Republicans somehow succeed in stealing the election not just from Joe Biden, but from the American people, then what sort of presidency will Donald Trump operate? After the Senate acquitted him, he just upped his game of corruption. He knew he wouldn’t be punished for anything. If you steal an election for him, then you’re not going to have a president. You’ll have a dictator.

Why would any Republican want to throw out democracy for a fascist state? That’s what I don’t get.

Donald Trump and Republicans are fighting for fascism. Lock them up.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have an order of 20 copies of my book (11 are left to purchase) on the way, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. The books won’t arrive until after the new year, but orders are being taken and they’ll be shipped as soon as I receive them. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

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Josh’s Election Jacking


cjones01032021

Michael Gerson addresses Missouri Republican Senator Josh Hawley’s plan to object to the certification of Joe Biden’s electoral college victory in his most recent column for The Washington Post.

Gerson writes, “In the cause of his own advancement, the senator from Missouri is willing to endorse the disenfranchisement of millions of Americans — particularly voters of color — and justify the attempted theft of an election. He is willing to credit malicious lies that will poison our democracy for generations. The fulfillment of Hawley’s intention — the ultimate overturning of the election — would be the collapse of U.S. self-government.”

Hawley, who is a former clerk for Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts, understands the Constitution. Hawley knows there was no massive election fraud and what he’s doing is helping Donald Trump advance a lie and conspiracy theory. Since Hawley is aware of all this, what he’s doing is pandering.

He’s pandering to Donald Trump, the MAGAt base, and to right-wing propaganda outlets such as Fox News, OANN, and Newsmax because he wants to run for president in 2024. Maybe if Donald Trump is too bogged down in his own personal strife, debts, scandals, lawsuits, potentially prison, and possibly fleeing the country, to run for president again, he’ll endorse Josh Hawley. In fact, Hawley is actually fundraising off this.

Hawley is overlooking something. Donald Trump is not loyal. Do you think he’s pardoning his goons out of loyalty? No. He’s pardoning them as a payoff. If you want an expert opinion on Trump’s loyalty, talk to Michael Cohen. Trump’s loyalty and corruption are the only two things Cohen is an expert on, but he knows the subject. You can also talk to William Barr and Jeff Sessions. Hell, talk to Mitch McConnell, who carried Donald Trump’s water for four years yet found himself on the nasty end of mean tweets after acknowledging Joe Biden won the election.

Hawley should talk to McConnell and fellow Republican senator Ben Sasse.

Senator Sasse said this was an attempt to “disenfranchise millions of Americans” and wrote an open letter stating, “Let’s be clear what is happening here: We have a bunch of ambitious politicians who think there’s a quick way to tap into the president’s populist base without doing any real, long-term damage. But they’re wrong, and this issue is bigger than anyone’s personal ambitions. Adults don’t point a loaded gun at the heart of legitimate self-government.”

And there are a “bunch” of them seeking to disenfranchise millions of Americans. According to reports, when Congress counts the electoral college votes this coming Wednesday, at least 140 Republicans in the House are going to object. That’s 140 members of Congress who will object to democracy. That’s just in the house. How many Republicans will join Hawley in the Senate? Hell, these goons are even suing Mike Pence over his mostly ceremonial duty of overseeing the electoral count in Congress.

Joe Biden won the election. The same process and procedures that have confirmed Joe Biden is the president-elect are the exact same ones that confirmed Donald Trump in 2016. On January 6, Congress will confirm that Joe Biden is the next duly-elected president of the United States of America on January 20, he will be sworn into office. Donald Trump will not be president after January 20.

In case you’re a Republican, that’s not a prediction. It’s a spoiler.

Note: I dedicate this cartoon to my friend and fellow cartoonist Bob Quick. He’s been very supportive of my career and the poor bastard lives in Missouri. He also sent me a wonderful drawing of Josh Hawley with a horse head. I told him he drew the wrong end. Hang in there, Bob.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have an order of 20 copies of my book (12 are left to purchase) on the way, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. The books won’t arrive until after the new year, but orders are being taken and they’ll be shipped as soon as I receive them. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Update on book: They’re here but…I forgot to order envelopes. Shit. Envelopes are on the way. I’m sorry and I shouldn’t have assumed I had enough on hand. I swear that about 30 book envelopes disappeared out of my apartment.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

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Coup Coup Ka Choo


cjones12092020

Aren’t Republicans supposed to be the party of patriots and constitutionalists? As it turns out, they’re the party of scoundrels, traitors, and liars.

They don’t care about democracy and as we’ve seen from their stealing of Supreme Court seats, they don’t care about fairness. Well, a lot of them don’t. Republicans like Ted Cruz, Lindsey Graham, Matt Gaetz, Jim Jordan, and Kelly Loeffler.

Joe Biden won the election. There is no mystery. We’re not waiting to see if he won. He won. There was no mass voter or election fraud. Republicans are trying to walk a thin line and are saying stuff like, “Donald Trump has every right to exercise every legal recourse and option” and all sorts of utter and complete bullshit. This is what Georgia Senator Kelly Loeffler said during Sunday night’s debate.

Loeffler refused to say if Trump lost the election. It also turns out that Republicans are total cowards. Cowards don’t deserve to hold elected offices. If Donald Trump said chocolate milk comes from chocolate cows, every Republican would be saying, “Chocolate cows matter.”

Donald Trump called Brian Kemp, the governor of Georgia, at least twice to ask him to throw out the election, or overrule it, or call a special session, or do whatever it takes to steal the election. Never mind the votes. Never mind the will of the people. Never mind democracy. This is about power and complete control. Brian Kemp is a champion of disenfranchising voters, but even he draws the line about throwing out an election.

Donald Trump has called Republicans in Pennsylvania, Wisconsin, Arizona, and Michigan. He’s sent Rudy to each of these states to spread conspiracy theories, farts, and covid.

Republicans say it’s impossible for Donald Trump to have lost to Joe Biden. Yeah, after tanking the economy, losing (at the time of the election) over 250,000 lives to a pandemic he mismanaged, then catching the virus he downplayed, and four years of defending Nazis, it really doesn’t make any sense that the majority of voters would reject him…again.

Next week, the states will send their votes to Congress where individual congressman can object to each state. This will be fun.

What would happen if Trump actually succeeded at stealing the election? Will he pardon all the goons who helped him steal it? Will he charge them for those pardons? Will he become an absolute dictator? Because if Donald Trump steals this election, elections won’t matter anymore.

We can’t allow our nation to become a dictatorship. It was bad enough, horrible really, having a narcissistic, sexist, racist, stupid reality TV show host as president (sic). I don’t want one as our dictator.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. And since someone asked this morning, yes. You can still get a signed print for $40.

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Turkey Coup Fail


cjones11262020

Donald Trump’s coup has failed.

Yesterday, the head of the General Services Administration, a low-profile agency that directs resources for stuff like government real estate and oh yeah…transition funds from one presidential administration to the next, announced it was approving the transition to the Biden administration.

After a presidential election when a new leader is elected, the GSA routinely releases funding to the new administration so there will be a smooth transition between the election and when the new president takes the oath of office in January. Although the head of the agency is appointed by the outgoing president, there’s usually no drama over this person doing their job. That was not the case this time.

Emily Murphy is the head of the General Services Administration. Emily Murphy has been described as a by-the-books administrator. Emily Murphy is a coward.

Joe Biden won the election 16 days ago. And even though Donald Trump was having a public hissy fit, hiding in his bunker except to play golf, refusing to answer reporters’ questions, throwing out conspiracy theories, issuing over 300 lying tweets since the election, losing over 30 legal challenges, inviting state Republican legislators to the White House to coerce them to reject their citizens votes, and having Rudy Giuliani hold press conferences outside dildo stores and icking all over the place, Emily Murphy could have approved the transition process to begin.

Even if by some bizarro-world situation where Trump flipped states and would remain president for the next four years (Brrr! I just got a chill), nothing would have been lost by preparing for a Biden presidency. No harm would have been done. If Joe Biden was receiving the same daily intelligence briefings as Donald Trump, it wouldn’t have been a risk to this nation.

When it comes to the security briefings, Joe Biden has been in positions previously where he received them. Unlike Donald Trump, Joe Biden would qualify for a security clearance without being president. Unlike Donald Trump, Joe Biden would actually read the briefing material. Unlike Donald Trump, Joe Biden would not tweet or share classified information with Vladimir Putin. Unlike Donald Trump, Joe Biden would not overrule the FBI and give security clearances to his daughter and son-in-law (who was trying to create a back channel with Russia and is in debt to Middle Eastern kingdoms).

Emily Murphy could have said, “I know Trump is going to be a big baby about this but I’m moving the process forward. It’s the right thing to do.” She could have done the right thing…but she didn’t. That will be her legacy. Imagine how she would have been remembered if she had done the right thing. You can only imagine it because Emily Murphy is a coward.

Emily Murphy released a statement saying, “I was never directly or indirectly pressured by any Executive Branch official — including those who work at the White House or GSA — with regard to the substance or timing of my decision.” Bullshit.

Emily Murphy is a coward and just like every Republican in Washington, she was afraid of angering Trump and his MAGAts. She claims she received death threats. I doubt Democrats were issuing those threats. She claimed even her pets received death threats. How do you claim you didn’t feel any pressure when people are threatening your dog?

Emily Murphy is a coward and she should have done her job in the first place. She shouldn’t have waited 16 days. She is just another Trump goon who put the cult before duty. Even though she was hired by Trump, she works for the citizens of the United States of America, not Donald Trump. She is paid by us, not Donald Trump. She should have done her job.

What Donald Trump did was put himself before the nation. He undermined our democracy. He told his supporters our election failed. He told his supporters they can’t trust democracy. He told our allies the president (sic) of the United States didn’t believe in democracy. He told our enemies the president (sic) of the United states didn’t believe in democracy. Donald Trump tried to remain president after losing an election. Donald Trump attempted a coup. Emily Murphy, like so many Republicans, enabled him.

Emily Murphy, you are not a hero. You are not brave. You are a failure and a sycophant of the cult. You’re no better than Kayleigh McEnany, Stephen Baby Goebbels Miller, or Steve Baby Fishmouth Mnuchin. And just like all the MAGAts Trump brought with him, I look forward to your dismissal after January 20.

Donald Trump is boasting he has delivered a vaccine to the coronavirus. He really didn’t have anything to do with that but still, his stonewalling the Biden transition endangers the distribution of the vaccine after he’s gone.

Donald Trump hasn’t just be trying to discredit the Biden administration. His actions were an attempt to make it fail. And if that means more Americans died, for Donald Trump, so be it. It’s not like he cared about Americans dying from the virus before the election. If more Americans die after Trump leaves office, even if it’s his fault, he can blame Biden and tweet about it.

Now, he’s going to pin a medal on himself for approving the transition. Donald Trump tweeted he told Murphy to release the transition funds while Murphy is saying she made the decision on her own. These people need to coordinate their bullshit.

Even If Murphy never did release the funds before January 20, it wouldn’t have stopped Joe Biden from becoming president. While Trump goons say the media doesn’t decide who wins elections, neither does the GSA or the president (sic). Joe Biden will be president on January 20 and there’s nothing Donald Trump or Emily Murphy can do about that. But, they’re still going to give the impression Donald Trump allowed it.

Prediction: Donald Trump will be praised by the Trump media and MAGAts for being a big boy and getting out of the way for Joe Biden. You’ll see. Geraldo Rivera wants to name the vaccine to the virus that Donald Trump allowed to kill over 250,000…after Donald Trump to “honor” him. That’s how these people are. We should NOT name any vaccine after Donald Trump. We have named the virus after him. He is the virus, not the cure.

If anyone’s the cure, it’s Joe Biden.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. And since someone asked this morning, yes. You can still get a signed print for $40.

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Coup Coup Ca Choo


cjones11262019

One of the Republican Trumpster dumbass talking points I’m most tired of is, the impeachment is a coup.

Shut up. Shut up. Just shut the hell up, you ignorant, babbling idiot. If Democrats impeach Donald Trump and replace him with Hillary Clinton, then you’re on to something. It’s a coup. But it’s NOT a coup by replacing him with Mike Pence unless we find out later that Pence was behind this all along and is later seen in the Oval Office Bwa-ha-ha-ing.

I have a theory about dumbass-Republican talking points. They’re created by people smart enough to know they’re stupid, but they’re created for people who aren’t. You know, the type of people who attend Trump rallies, debate with memes on Facebook and Twitter, hang out on 4chan and will be eating at your house this upcoming Thursday where you’ll probably end the day by stabbing them with a fork in the eyeball. I mean, does Jim Jordan actually believe Donald Trump won an “electoral landslide” in 2016? He may not be one of the “smart” ones I was envisioning. Anybody got a fork?

For something to be considered a landslide, it has to be an overwhelming majority, huge, amazing, and an earth-shattering movement. It has to be so special that Stevie Nicks writes a song about it. There have been 58 presidential elections in the United States. In sizes of electoral victories, Donald Trump’s 2016 win with 304 electoral votes to Clinton’s 224 comes in at number 46. While Trump says his win was the “greatest electoral victory in history,” 46 is much lower than 1. For comparison, Obama’s two victories come in at number 32 (365 to 173 in 2008) and number 37 (332 to 206 in 2012). In case you’re a Republican, both of Obama’s victories were larger than Trump’s, electorally and by popular vote. That popular vote is the hangup for Republicans.

Each time they say “electoral landslide,” they leave out “disappointing popular vote margin.” The fact is, Hillary Clinton beat Donald Trump by nearly 3 million votes. In case you’re a Republican, 65 million is more than 62 million.  In case you’re a Trump supporter, no, there were not millions of illegal votes cast for Hillary Clinton. Why, looking at the totals, one could think that the will of the American people was undermined and thwarted by the electoral college. Why, it’s like the electoral college conducted a coup.

That’s what idiots like Jim Jordan and Devin Nunes keep saying. That impeachment is undermining the will of the American voters. If something takes away the decision of the majority, then didn’t the electoral college already violate their will? If Republicans really cared about the will of the American voter, they’d put measures into motion to remove the electoral college from the Constitution. Since the electoral college was only put into the Constitution by our founding fathers to placate whiny-ass, entitled, white-privilege slave states, today’s racist Republicans are just fine with it.

While we’re on the topic, if we really care about representation distributed fairly, we’d trash the system of every state having two senators. Why should North Dakota’s 79,000 have as much representation in the Senate as California’s 39 million, or Texas’ 28 million, or Florida’s 21 million, or New York’s 19 million? Why should Puerto Rico’s 3 million and Washington, D.C.’s 633,000 get no representation in our capital at all?

Here’s a general rule you can adopt for when a Republican is talking: Don’t listen to them. They’re lying. But what about the time they said…Nope, that was a lie. But what about…Nope, another lie. But then they said…Nope, that was a lie too. How about when they said they were…LIES! LIES! LIES! YEAH!

Don’t listen to them. And if you’re in a living or working situation where you have constant interaction with them, you may wanna start carrying a fork.

Editors note: This blog is humorous and doesn’t really advocate or condone any Republicans getting stabbed in the eye with a fork. Even if they have it coming. Even if it’s really tempting. Even if they say something stupid like, “Donald Trump is building the wall,” or “Donald Trump was sent by Jesus” or they mention the “electoral landslide.” Even if they’re wearing a MAGA hat and they’re at the unemployment office. Even if they’re in your house, at your kitchen table, eating your food, and talking about how Donald Trump is “making America great again.” This blog doesn’t condone you fork stabbing them in the eyeball multiple, several, countless times…again and again and again. We just won’t have it.

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