Corey Lewandowski

Corey’s Fairy Tales


cjones09242019

Former Trump campaign manager Corey Lewandowski told the House Judiciary Committee yesterday that he has “no obligation to be honest with the media.” So, this morning when he was interviewed by Alisyn Camerota, there are no legal consequences to his lying and evading simple questions, like, “Have you talked to the president (sic) since your hearing yesterday?” or questions on considerations about hush-money payments to women Trump slept with. Corey Lewandowsky does have the legal right to lie to the media, to his children, to his wife, and to the American people. It’s a right Donald Trump exercises every day. As for there being an obligation to be truthful, that’s another matter.

Lewandowski is a private citizen. He does not work for the White House or for Donald Trump (if you’re a Republican, those are two different things). When Donald Trump asks Lewandowski to commit a crime, there is no executive privilege for him to cite in a Congressional hearing. Congress is not the media. Lewandowski has an obligation, a legal one at that, to not only tell the truth but to answer questions.

The White House asked/told Lewandowski not to reveal any conversations he’s had with Donald Trump. Since Lewandowski doesn’t work for the White House, he doesn’t have executive privilege. Citing a privilege that’s not his and not answering a simple question, like did Trump tell you to tell then-Attorney General Jeff Sessions to limit the scope of the Mueller Report, Lewandowski is defying a subpoena and breaking the law.

It’s not important that Lewandowsky took his kids on vacation, which was his excuse for not delivering Trump’s message to Sessions. It’s not important that there are also “a lot of guns” in the safe where he keeps his notes, which he voluntarily divulged when asked about the whereabouts of his notes. It’s not important if a Congressman revealed to his children, who Lewandowski claimed were watching, that there’s no tooth fairy. Though it may be important that Lewandowski is teaching his children they have no obligation to tell the truth. What’s important is that Donald Trump attempted to obstruct justice and Corey Lewandowski stonewalled the answers. Fortunately, Lewandowski isn’t smart enough to do it all day and he finally slipped and confirmed that Trump asked him to obstruct justice, an impeachable offense.

Donald Trump should be impeached and Lewandowski should be held in contempt. The White House doesn’t care if Lewandowski is held in contempt because it would drag out the process even further. Trump will sell his most loyal subjects down the river to buy time. It doesn’t matter to Republicans that the White House and their subordinates break the law because Democrats have to obey it.

Democratic committee attorney Barry Berke played several clips of interviews where Lewandowski lied to the media. This is when Lewandowski said he had “no obligation to have a candid conversation with the media.” Berke punched holes in Lewandowski’s executive privilege by pointing out that the admitted liar had published conversations with senior White House officials in his book Let Trump Be Trump. That’s the thing about Trump sycophants. Like Trump, they’re not smart enough to remain consistent with their lies.

During his CNN interview this morning, Lewandowski claimed the Mueller Report exonerated Trump on obstruction and collusion while also revealing, many times, that he hasn’t read it. Camerota pointed out that the Mueller Report does NOT exonerate Trump to which, Lewandowski responded by screaming about “fake news.”

Lewandowski refused to read the Mueller Report. He refused to read passages out loud during yesterday’s hearing. He refused to read his own statements. Maybe he can’t read.

The Democrats did not do a good job of managing the hearing yesterday, but Republicans shouldn’t celebrate a combative liar who succeeded in proving he truly is an asshole. Donald Trump praised him, despite learning there’s no tooth fairy.

It’s too bad Lewandowski’s kids learned the horrible truth that a fairy doesn’t invade their bedrooms while they’re sleeping to financially compensate them each time they lose a tooth. But that myth is harmless and at some point, kids grow up and stop believing in it. Unfortunately, grown adults still believe in the myth that’s Donald Trump. It worries me what other myths Lewandowski is teaching his children.

At one point during the hearing, Lewandowski said Democrats hate Trump more than they love America. From watching the hearing, his children learned their father loves the cult more than he loves America. And in case you’re a Republican, Donald Trump is not America.

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Womp My Gorilla


cjones06272018

Is there a race to the bottom among Trump, members of his administration, his family, and supporters? It sure seems that way.

Attorney General Jeff Sessions was giddy a few weeks ago when he announced the child-separation and traumatization policy of the Trump administration. Last week, he quoted Bible verses, that were also used in the 1800s to justify slavery, in justifying the Trump policy. Yesterday, he said separating children from their parents was never the intention of the policy, even though he previously described it as the cornerstone of the agenda.

Trump adviser Stephen Miller crafted the policy because he believes its red meat for the base, plus he’s a white supremacist fanboy. Director of Homeland Security Kirstjen Nielsen said the policy wasn’t created by Trump, it didn’t exist, and that Trump couldn’t fix it, and then stood behind him as he signed an order ending it, and she got to keep the pen. Miller and Nielsen both thought it’d be a great idea to visit Mexican restaurants during this humanitarian crisis, which is either sheer stupidity or adding insult to injury. We hate your people but give us fajitas.

Trump lied about the policy over and over, claimed it was created by Democrats (it wasn’t), that the law requires families to be separated (it doesn’t do that either), and that he couldn’t fix it on his own without Congress, and then he signed an order fixing it on his own without Congress. To cover up his week of lying and caving, he went to one of his hate rallies, bashed Democrats for “putting illegal aliens before Americans,” and said the next day that Mexico is “doing nothing except taking our money and sending us drugs.” Previously, he ranted about our other neighbor, Canada, buying our shoes, scuffing them up and reselling them or something. It was hard to understand.

His supporters on Fox News can’t be left out. Laura Ingraham compared the detention centers to summer camps. Ann Coulter accused the children of being child actors. Brian Kilmeade of Fox & Friends said many of the children become MS-13. Tucker Carlson said those speaking against the policy don’t really care about the children.

Even Melania became a contender in the race to the bottom. How is that possible? She doesn’t ever do anything and First Ladies are universally loved unless they’re black. But, Melania went to Texas on Thursday to visit a detention center while wearing a $40 jacket with a message written across the back saying, “I really don’t care. Do you?” People were shocked at the stupid optics of it, and that she wore such an inexpensive jacket. Her spokesperson said there was no message to it, despite there being a literal message on the coat. Trump later tweeted debunking that explanation by saying it was Melania’s way of telling the media she doesn’t care what they say.

Trump calls the media every day to tell them how little he cares.

Many of the people at Trump’s Duluth rally believe the crisis is “fake news,” and that photos of children in cages have been manipulated in Photoshop. Others just say they don’t care about children.

Perhaps the most horrible of the week was Corey Lewandowski, Trump’s former campaign manager and guy who grabs people at campaign rallies only to lie about it later.

During a debate on Fox News, Lewandowski was debating Democratic strategist Zac Petkanas. The Democrat mentioned a 10-year-old with Downs Syndrome being taken from her mother, and Lewandowski interrupted with “womp womp,” the sad trombone sound effect for a comedic failure. Lewandowski refused to apologize for his trombone mouth, and later said he was mocking Petkanas and the media, not the child. Of course, nobody believes him because he’s Corey Lewandowski, and he himself is a comedic failure of a human being.

A speakers bureau has now dropped Corey for his comment. On that sad note, I believe I can speak for all of us when I say, “womp womp!”

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Donald Loves Chachi


cjones06212016

Scott Baio, the actor who played Chachi on Happy Days and its spin off, Joanie Loves Chachi, and Charles In Charge and the teen booby movie Zapped! (which I thought was amusing because I was 15 at the time and it had boobies) has spoken out on President Obama and terrorism.

Chachi is a Trump supporter. Big surprise. He enlightened all of us on Fox Business (go figure) and said Obama is a secret Muslim whose “end game” is to “totally eliminate the United States as it was created.” He also said Obama is “dumb, a Muslim, or a Muslim sympathizer.” We should all drop everything and support Trump because The Chach has spoken. Maybe he’s running for Arizona’s senate seat.

Is Baio a moron? As Fonzie would say, correctamundo. Now Baio is threatening to sue anyone who accuses him of being a moron over his Obama statements. He made the threat on Twitter. I don’t want Chachi to sue me so when I state that Mr. Baio is a moron, it’s not JUST for his statements that the president is a secret Muslim.

No. Mr. Baio is a moron for supporting Trump. He’s also a moron for tweeting in 2010 “Taxes are DONE…That should feed, house & provide medical for a few lazy non working people at my expense.” Not finished with causing a Twitter stink in 2010, he tweeted a photo of Michelle Obama with the caption “WOW He wakes up to this every morning,” so he’s also a moron for that.

Additional evidence to Mr. Baio being a moron are his comments toward Hillary Clinton which are “Hollywood votes the way Hollywood votes. They are predominantly liberals. And I can’t understand why, because Hillary Clinton is basically a socialist, and if they want all of their toys taken away from them eventually, then you vote for her.”

I just conducted the only Google search ever on Scott Baio. I’m sure when his phone’s not ringing, that’s Joanie not calling.

But hey, being a moron could be financially beneficial for Chachi. He says Trump is great and we all know how much Trump loves flattery. It seems he doesn’t value experience as he just fired Corey Lewandowski, his campaign manager, who had zilcho experience running a political campaign. Previously, after Mr. Lewandowski faced charges of assaulting a reporter Trump stood by his man and said “I don’t discard people.”

Now that Mr. Lewandowski has been discarded perhaps Mr. Baio can resurrect his career with Donald Trump as his new campaign manager. And if Trump actually wins we can all title this spin off Crappy Days.

During Happy Days and the spin off, there was an attempt to start a fashion trend of morons like Chachi tying a bandana  around their thigh. It didn’t catch on. The fact I remember that makes me very sad at how old I have become.

By the way, “Chachi” rhymes with “Nazi.” Work that out.

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Grabby 2016


cjones03302016

Michelle Fields, a reporter for Breitbart, claimed that Trump campaign manager Corey Lewandowski grabbed her and left bruises on her arm. This happened after a Trump press conferences in Jupiter, Florida, on the night of a primary.

The Trump campaign never admits wrongdoing or apologizes. They claimed it never happened. Lewandowski tweeted, because these people tweet, that he never touched or met Fields. Trump said it never happened. Fields published pictures of bruises on her arm.

Field’s organization, Breitbart, failed to back her up so Fields resigned.

Lewandowski was arrested Tuesday on charges of battery in Jupiter, Florida, where the incident happened. Video is out of the guy grabbing the female reporter. Now Trump says he “brushed by her.” I guess it turns out they did meet, though it probably wasn’t a formal introduction like “hello, I’m Corey Lewandowski. May I manhandle you?”.

On the video the reporter is walking along Trump, trying to ask questions. Lewandowski comes up from through the crowd and behind Fields, grabs and stops her as Trump keeps going. He definitely did more than brush by her. The Trump campaign is trying to do the Jedi-mind trick on the public by saying what you’re seeing on the video isn’t really what you’re seeing. This is not the assault you’re looking for.

Fields claimed afterward that she was grabbed by the arm and almost yanked to the ground. The video makes the Trump campaign look like liars. It makes Fields out that she exaggerated the incident.

Yeah, she was grabbed. It probably lasted a second. That’s long enough to leave a bruise. Is that battery? In Florida, yes it is. There is no excuse to grab anyone without permission. If they give you permission as in “yes, please grab me” then go ahead and get all grabby and up in their business. Campaigns don’t have habit of rouging up reporters, no matter how much the campaigns hate the press in their love/hate relationship.

Campaigns also don’t understand that when they write rules for the media, as in “don’t ask questions,” that the media has no obligation to obey those rules. Campaigns don’t dictate journalism. I know. Wouldn’t it just be easier for candidates if the media would only ask pre-approved questions?

Now Breitbart really isn’t journalism. It’s a right wing troll site. If you’re ever debating someone over politics and they cite a Breitbart article, you automatically win the argument. Working for Breitbart makes any claim by Fields questionable, even in conflict with Donald Trump. We’re talking about a “journalist” that chooses to work for a news organization that doesn’t operate or conduct itself with the same ethical or moral guidelines as the legitimate media. They are not news. They exist to obstruct Obama and encourage fear, racism, and feed lies that will make their readers angry at liberals. Imagine Fox News without any moral or ethical code. I know. You already thought they didn’t have any. Go read a Breitbart article, then read the comments section, then take a shower.

Fields did exaggerate. I don’t believe she’s been taught that journalists aren’t supposed to make stuff up. But she’s not wrong in that she was violated. She was grabbed. It’s a blurry video but you can tell she’s suddenly stopped as soon as Lewandowski reached her.

The Trump campaign has less credibility than Breitbart. Breitbart backed Trump up by not demanding an apology or an explanation from the Trump campaign. Fields resigned for their lack of support to which I ask Fields: What did you expect from Brietbart? You lie down with snakes, don’t be surprised when they bite. I’m sure she won’t have any issues with integrity in the future since she now works for Fox News and The Daily Caller (insert eye roll here).

What’s next? Lewandowsky will be slapped on the wrist if the charges are not dropped. The Trump campaign increases its campaign of violence, hate, and misogyny. This issue will be a footnote in July when the Republicans hold their convention in Cleveland. There will be new scandals. Maybe Trump will toss a midget.

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