Constitution

We The BZZZZZZZZTT!…


Republicans are so tone-deaf that they don’t see it’s a bad idea to have their caucus led by a guy named McCarthy.

Back in the 1950s, Wisconsin Republican Senator Joseph McCarthy used the Cold War to paint people he didn’t like as communists and focused on people in government, universities, and the film industry. He ruined lives and careers with dogmatic accusations without substance. Herblock is credited for creating the term McCarthyism. You can see McCarthyism in use today when goons like Ron DeSantis and Elon Musk frame people for being “woke,” without ever explaining what “woke” is.

Now Kevin McCarthy wants to be Speaker of the House and if his party wants to engage in McCarthyism, he could condemn it one day and then support it the next. That’s what he did with the Trump insurrection. He told his caucus he was going to condemn Trump, tell him to his face that the attack on the Capitol was entirely his fault, and even went so far as to blame him in public…before scrambling down to Mar-a-Lago for Trump’s support and a photo-op.

Kevin has promised that on the first day of the Republican-led House in the next session, that the Constitution of the United States of America will be read “word for word.” The Orange County Register wrote in an editorial, “There’s nothing wrong with reminding members that their prime job is to uphold the nation’s founding document.”

Nope, there’s nothing wrong with reading the Constitution. What’s wrong is using it for a political stunt without understanding, comprehending, or respecting it.

Right off the bat, they’ll get to the First Amendment which covers free speech. Will they understand it when they hear it read, or will they continue to believe that inciting white nationalist terrorists is free speech? Will they notice there’s nothing in the Constitution guaranteeing a right to tweet? Will they understand that a social media platform blocking pictures of Hunter Biden’s dingdong isn’t a violation of free speech? Will they appreciate that people who say things they disagree with shouldn’t be blacklisted from playing in the NFL or detained indefinitely in Russian prisons?

And what’s going to happen when they reach the Second Amendment? Instead of reading aloud, “A well-regulated Militia being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed,” will they read, “blah blah cough cough snort hamberder covfefe cough blah being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed”? I’m really looking forward to how they read that “well-regulated” part. Maybe they’ll read it and the entire caucus will boo, like Lauren Boebert and MTG did during President Biden’s State of the Union address.

Speaking of the stupid coven, how many Republicans are going to sit through the reading of the entire thing? The Constitution has 7,591 words and 27 amendments. Do you really believe Matt Gaetz, Marjory Taylor Greene, and high school dropout Boebert are going to stick around for that? Even if they do hang about, it’s not like they’ll pay attention. Two of those goons heckled President Biden’s State of the Union.

It should also be noted that they don’t really give a shit about the United States Constitution. Will they skip the 12th Amendment which covers states sending electors and Congress certifying the winner of the presidential election? As we saw on January 20, 2021, there’s a whole bunch of Republicans who violated this clause. These so-called constitutionalists took a shit on the 12th Amendment that day.

Even today, MTG said that if she was in charge of the attack on the Capitol, “WE would have won.” She says they would have been armed and is acknowledging that she’s a traitor. Fortunately for us, democracy won that day.

And what about the Republican who says we should “terminate” the Constitution if he can’t be reinstated as president or if we refuse to redo the 2020 election? What has Kevin McCarthy said about Donald Trump’s call to terminate the Constitution of the United States of America, which I’m assuming is the same Constitution of the United States of America that he plans to read “word for word” on the House floor? Nothing. It’s more of that “blah blah cough cough snort hamberder covfefe cough blah” shit.

Donald Trump could use the Constitution as a bib while dining on ketchup-covered hotdogs with Nazis at Mar-a-Lago and Kevin McCarthy would find a way to side-step it.

Kevin McCarthy and Republicans reading the Constitution aloud doesn’t mean a damn thing because, for them, it’s just a political stunt. They have demonstrated on a daily basis since 2016 that loyalty, patriotism, the rule of law, democracy, and the United States Constitution don’t mean shit to them. If they could, they’d put ketchup on all of it.

The next time the Home Alone mom loses a Kevin at Christmas, don’t let it be Kevin McCallister or Kevin Hart. How about for this Christmas: Catherine O’Hara loses Kevin McCarthy. It’ll be a Christmas miracle for the entire nation.

God bless us, everyone.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Music note: I listened to Fastway, Better than Ezra, and Veruca Salt.

Watch me draw:

King Throne Scepter


Donald Trump has called for terminating the United Constitution and he’s basing this on the release of the so-called Twitter Files.

Let’s back up. Donald Trump lost the 2020 election. He tried to steal it after he lost it. He spread a dozen conspiracy theories and his lawyers lost over 60 court cases in multiple states trying to overturn the election he fairly lost. He and his goons tried to install fake electors. He tried to get his vice president, Mike Pence, to refuse to certify the election. He called the secretary of state in Georgia and demanded that he “find” him the votes he needed to defeat Biden in that state, even though those votes didn’t exist. When all that failed, he had white nationalist terrorists attack the Capitol in order to stop Congress from certifying the election. Trump lost the election. There is no evidence that disputes that.

In October 2020, The New York Post ran a story about Hunter Biden’s laptop that didn’t really produce anything. The scandal was that Hunter owned a laptop. Nothing on it could be confirmed or authenticated at the time and even the reporters who wrote the story didn’t want their names on it. Twitter blocked the account of the NY Post and others that were sharing the story, or nude photos that were supposedly of Hunter Biden.

For the past two years, MAGAts have been screaming that this was election interference by Twitter and the Democrats and if the story hadn’t been suppressed, then Donald Trump would have won the election.

Over the weekend, Elon Musk released the Twitter Files that were analyzed by independent reporter Matt Taibbi. They were released in over two dozen tweets. What they confirmed was that Twitter had an internal discussion over whether to allow links to the story on its platform or not. The CEO of Twitter wasn’t aware of this discussion. The Biden campaign, the Trump White House, and the Trump campaign were all in contact with Twitter over what stories they should allow and suppress. The main thing the Biden team wanted was for all pornographic photos of Hunter to be removed from Twitter.

The New York Times wrote, “Mr. Musk and Mr. Taibbi framed the exchanges as evidence of rank censorship and pernicious influence by liberals. Many others — even some ardent Twitter critics — were less impressed, saying the exchanges merely showed a group of executives earnestly debating how to deal with an unconfirmed news report that was based on information from a stolen laptop.”

Now, Republicans are screaming that this proves the election was stolen and major corruption was in play. What this really proves is that there are now two things that Republicans can’t tell you the contents of, Hunter’s laptop and the Twitter Files. Before the release, Elon tweeted, “This will be awesome” with a popcorn emoji.

Just like how everything you hear about Hunter’s laptop doesn’t mention what’s in it, none of these howls about the Twitter Files actually tell you what was revealed. I bet Elon couldn’t tell you what’s in the Twitter Files.

Tucker Carlson claimed that the “documents show a systemic violation of the First Amendment, the largest example of that in modern history.” Tucker doesn’t know what’s in the Twitter Files, hasn’t actually read the First Amendment, and doesn’t know the definition of “systemic.”

Republicans are also howling that the media isn’t covering the release of the Twitter Files, except they are. Except the press isn’t repeating the lies that the Republicans and Elon are saying. Elon has complained that the press isn’t covering the release while also refusing to provide these documents to the press.

Two things: Twitter is not the government. Joe Biden was a candidate when the NY Post story ran, not the president. This is not government suppression.

But now Donald Trump is howling on his platform that the Twitter Files prove the election was stolen, there should be an immediate new election, or he should be reinstated, and that the Constitution should be terminated.

Trump “truthed,” “A Massive Fraud of this type and magnitude allows for the termination of all rules, regulations, and articles, even those found in the Constitution.”

If you believe Twitter suppressing a story they couldn’t verify was meddling in an election, then you have to also believe that Russia’s disinformation campaign was meddling in the 2016 election. You would also have to believe that the multiple public statements from the FBI about investigating Hillary Clinton was meddling in the election.

Donald Trump wants to be handed the presidency. He wants to redo the 2020 election now, but he already lost that one. Or better yet for him, he just wants to be “reinstated.”

Today, he repeated his call to be given the presidency, in all caps, or that the election should be “redone.” He’s saying the media is lying about his calls to terminate the Constitution, but that’s exactly what he’s demanding. There is nothing in the Constitution that allows for the presidential election to be “redone” or to just hand him the presidency because he whines for it.

Donald Trump used the word “terminate” in regard to rules, regulations, and articles in the Constitution.

So, now where are all his MAGAts who claim they’re constitutionalists? Where are their condemnations of Trump’s call to terminate the Constitution of the United States of America? Where are the Republican voices condemning his anti-American demands?

Donald Trump’s disrespect and disregard aren’t new and neither is the GOP’s enabling of it. What is new is that Donald Trump has specifically called for the “termination” of the United States Constitution while running for president. The frontrunner for the nomination of the Republican Party presidential candidate wants the Constitution destroyed. The thing is, they should have kicked Trump to the curb when he ordered an attack on the Capitol and tried to overturn the last election. Continuing to enable Donald Trump is unAmerican. Supporting Donald Trump is treasonous.

You are NOT pro-America or pro-Freedom, or a constitutionalist by supporting the man who wants to terminate the Constitution. We elect presidents in this nation, we don’t appoint them.

If Donald Trump somehow wins or takes the 2024 election, the Constitution will go bye-bye…and Republicans and MAGAts will support that.

Music note: I listened to Foo Fighters

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

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Fun With Interpretations


CNN08292021

Here’s your cartoon for this week’s CNN Opinion newsletter. Please sign up to get these in your inbox every Sunday. 

In addition to struggling with having no senses of humor, being oblivious to their own hypocrisy, failing wildly at using equivalences, and not having any understanding of irony, Republicans suck at comprehension. Sure, sometimes they do understand what was said or what they’re reading and they choose to conceal, bury, or lie about it, but that’s heaped on top of their inadequacy with the smarts.

Republicans love to identify themselves as “constitutionalists,” which is a joke because like with most things they claim, they’re the exact opposite. It’s like when they claim they’re more patriotic than anyone else while supporting an insurrection because they lost an election. That insurrection brings us back to the Constitution because these constitutionalists were trying to stop Congress from certifying the election…a process instructed by…wait for it…the United States Constitution.

Lately, Trump supporters are screaming about the 25th Amendment, probably because someone at Fox News pointed it out and explained it poorly. The 25th is something they harumphed out of the room when when Tiny was talking about injecting disinfectant and incoherently rambling “woman, man, person, camera, TV.” But there’s only one constitutional amendment Republicans usually talk about and that’s the Second Amendment.

The hilarious thing about Republicans and the Second Amendment is that it’s their entire creed. It’s what they cling to and have wrapped their entire gun-humping existence onto. Yet, even though the horny-for-guns crowd has used the Second to justify their entire lifestyle of walking into Dunkins’ strapped for bear and Black-Lives-Matter protesters, they leave out, not just a portion of the Second, but half the flipping sentence they base everything on.

The Second Amendment states, “A well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed.” But when a Republican gun-humper quotes it, he only reads, ” the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed.” They leave out the first half of the sentence. Do you know why? Because the Second Amendment is LESS about guns and more about “well-regulated militias.” Sure, militias are armed but that doesn’t mean you get to stockpile AKs by the dozen in your shower.

Somehow, “well-regulated militia” got tossed and the interpretation has been warped to mean every maniac in the nation has a right to own every sort of gun that has ever been invented. Any regulation of this, such as background checks, waiting periods, limits on ammunition sales, preventing sales to minors, stopping minors from transporting automatic rifles across state lines to shoot black people, preventing sales to Jihadists at gun shows, preventing sales to anti-Semites, Islamophobes, and Trump supporters with internet manifestos, or preventing insane people in general from owning guns is considered by Republicans as “infringement.” And goddammit, the Constitution says their right to dry-hump an Uzi “shall not be infringed.”

Leaving out half of the first sentence in the Second Amendment would be like religious fucks only counting a few of the Commandments Moses brought down from the mountain. Oh, wait. They’re been doing that for the past five years for Donald Trump.

Number one: “I am the Lord thy God, thou shalt not have any gods before Me.” Oops. If you’re a Trump supporter, you are literally in a cult for Mr. Two Corinthians. If you’re a fundamentalist Trump supporter, in the style of the way gun-rubbers do with the Second Amendment, you’d only quote, “I am the Lord thy God.” That’s it. Nothing about not having “any gods before me.”

Number two: “Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain.” You fucked that one up too. GropenFuhrer has been known to take the Lord’s name in vain. At a rally, in public, while talking about Islamists, he said, “They’ll be hit so goddamn hard.” At that very same rally, he said, “If you don’t support me, you’re going to be so goddamn poor.” If you’re a fundamentalists Trump supporter, you’re such a goddamn hypocrite.

Number three: “Remember to keep holy the Sabbath day.” Did you ever see Trump in church, where he said is where you go to, “drink your little wine and eat your little cracker?” For Trump, church was to only be used for photo-ops. Only crackers support Trump.

Number four: “Honor thy father and mother.” I’ll give you this one. Trump seemed very fond of his racist crooked father. I probably would be too if I was given a $200,000 monthly allowance from the age of two and had my casinos bailed out by my dad. But you know what? I’m taking it back. Because Trump’s attacks on women does not honor his mother.

Number five: “Thou shalt not kill.” People died because of Donald Trump. Donald Trump incited mass shootings, terrorists attacks, and could have even saved lives if he had put combating the coronavirus pandemic before his own insecurities. Donald Trump politicized a pandemic that has now killed over 637,000 U.S. citizens. And you wanna impeach Biden over 13 American deaths? Thou shalt get the fuck out of here.

Number six: “Thou shalt not commit adultery.” I will laugh all you family-value fuckers out of the room.

Number seven: “Thou shalt not steal.” Grifty McGrifts-a-Lots is still stealing from the United States government which means he’s stealing from you. As a former president (sic), he can’t steal as much so he has to focus on grifting from his supporters. But then again, they’re the only people stupid enough to pay $15.00 for ten straws. I’m not making that up. I just visited his page to confirm that and now I have to take a shower. I would post a link to prove it, but Thou shalt not post any MAGAt links on my goddamn page.

Number eight: “Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.” That means lying. The orange shitweasel lied so much that news outlets created trackers, which they also did for his golf outings. The Washington Post counted 30,573 lies. That’s a lot of false witness bearing.

Number nine: “Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s wife.” He was on that Access Hollywood tape literally coveting his neighbor’s wife. In his own words, “I moved on her like a bitch.” Thou shalt not move on her like a bitch.

Number ten: “Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s goods.” This doesn’t just cover theft. It also covers greed. Donald Trump is a very selfish person who didn’t just steal from everyone he’s ever encountered, cheated on his taxes, and grifted from inside the White House. He also publicly wished for what others have. He’s on record wishing he was as rich as real billionaires. He spent his entire tenure pining for the respect, wisdom, and good looks of President Barack Obama, who moved out of the White House and into Donald Trump’s head where he continues to live rent free.

Republicans hear things how they want to hear them and haven’t been able to interpret anything accurately since Ike was president. So, when an anti-vaxxer MAGAts wants to talk to me about the Constitution, please.

Thou shalt not talk bullshit.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: here are SIX copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

Absolut Biden


Cjones04162021

I love that people who identify themselves as Constitutionalists don’t know shit fuck about the Constitution.

Usually, when a “Constitutionalist” screams about the Constitution and the rights it guarantees, it is really only talking about one Amendment, and that’s the Second. In case you don’t know what that Amendment guarantees, ask a “Constitutionalist.” The other thing I love about “Constitutionalists” is that they’ll tell you only part of what’s in the Second Amendment. Not only will they NOT tell you what the entire Amendment says, but when they tell you the part, “the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed,” they won’t even tell you the entire sentence.

What does the rest of that sentence say? It says, “A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State…” and then it gives you, ” the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.”

When you talk to a “Constitutionalist,” especially the white male Christian ones, they believe they’re all infringed. They’re the most infringed people in world history.

The other thing I love about these wingnuts is that they don’t know history and they don’t know civics. Take Fox News fucknut Steve Doocy as an example. This asstwat goes on national TV every weekday morning, talks about the Constitution, and doesn’t know dick for shit what he’s talking about.

While introducing measures to curb gun violence, President Joe Biden said, “No amendment to the Constitution is absolute.” With that, conservatives lost their minds.

How dare the president say something so factual and historically accurate!!! How dare he know what he’s talking about!!!

Spoiler alert: None of the Amendments to the United States Constitution are absolute. They are not set in stone. The Constitution is a living document, as in it can be changed. But don’t take my word for it. I’m just a cartoonist. Let’s take Thomas Jefferson’s word.

Jefferson said, “I am not an advocate for frequent changes in laws and constitutions, but laws and institutions must go hand in hand with the progress of the human mind. As that becomes more developed, more enlightened, as new discoveries are made, new truths discovered and manners and opinions change, with the change of circumstances, institutions must advance also to keep pace with the times. We might as well require a man to wear still the coat which fitted him when a boy as civilized society to remain ever under the regimen of their barbarous ancestors.”

Here’s your first history lesson for the day, conservatives: Thomas Jefferson was one of the framers of the Constitution. Ouch. That one stings. Walk it off. It’s about to get worse.

Steve Doocy, who is NOT Thomas Jefferson, went off the rails on his morning show for numbnuts. Doocy said, “The part that is really shocking is where the President just said no amendment to the Constitution is absolute. He’s talking about the Second Amendment, which he does not regard as, you know, giving everybody the right to do whatever they want to with guns, we know that we know his talking point.” It’s nice that he believes the Second Amendment gives everyone the right to do whatever they want with guns.

When talking about the Constitution, would you rather take the word from a guy named Jefferson or a turd named Doocy? I’d listen to George Jefferson before I’d listen to Steve Doocy.

This is where Doocy displays his ignorance. He rhetorically asked, “But what about if no Amendment is absolute? What about how does he feel about the First Amendment? How does he feel about the freedom of religion, how does he feel about freedom of speech?” I say he asked “rhetorically” because he ignored that Biden gave a civics and history lesson in his speech.

President Biden said, “You can’t yell ‘fire’ in a crowded movie theater and call it freedom of speech. From the very beginning, you couldn’t own any weapon you wanted to own. From the very beginning that the Second Amendment existed, certain people weren’t allowed to have weapons. So the idea is just bizarre to suggest that some of the things we’re recommending are contrary to the Constitution.”

The First Amendment gives you the freedom of speech, but it doesn’t give you the freedom to say anything you want. Courts have ruled you don’t have the right to libel someone. You don’t have the right to speak and cause a panic or a riot. I can call Steve Doocy a butt muncher but I can’t make a public claim that he literally munches on butts.

As Jefferson said, ” We might as well require a man to wear still the coat which fitted him when a boy as civilized society to remain ever under the regimen of their barbarous ancestors.” Jefferson probably anticipated slavery would eventually be outlawed…and banning it would become a Constitutional amendment. See? We outgrew out childish pants and outgrew the regimen of our “barbarous ancestors.” And the Constitution changed from the first ten amendments our founding fathers created, and written by James Madison, which is the Bill of Rights. Also, Madison was another slave owner, but you know what he didn’t own? A fucking AR-15.

We have added 27 amendments to the Constitution. We’ve added stuff like allowing women to vote, banning slavery, electing the president and vice-president on the same ticket, electing senators by popular vote, and banning the sale of alcohol. Wait. Selling and buying alcohol is legal today. If amendments to the Constitution are absolute, then why is the sale of alcohol legal? Because Amendments…wait for it….ARE NOT ABSOLUTE.

In 1919, the 18th Amendment was ratified by the required number of states and added to the United States Constitution. This Amendment made the sale and purchase of alcohol illegal in the United States. There were no exceptions. Being that this nation does like to drink and the government couldn’t stop people from drinking, or the organized crime from it, the Amendment was repealed 24 years later. And this was done without a serious liquor lobby behind it.

In 1933, the required numbers of states said, “Get the fuck out of here,” to the 18th Amendment and the 21st was born, which repealed the 18th. On a side note, I still think it’s funny that marijuana is federally outlawed and there’s nothing in the Constitution about it. We need a weed Amendment because alcohol is much worse than weed.

We have only changed one Amendment but that proves no Amendment is absolute. What will it take to repeal an Amendment?

To change the Constitution, Congress has to call a Constitutional Convention for proposing amendments upon application of the legislatures of two-thirds of the states. That means 34 states have to agree to the convention, to even discuss it. Then, any Amendments proposed by Congress or the Convention only becomes valid when three-fourths of states’ legislatures or state conventions ratify the proposed Amendment. It would take 38 states to add a new Amendment to the Constitution.

Now it’s my turn to ask a rhetorical question: Can we get 38 states to do anything to change the Second Amendment? Hell no. We’ll never get Congress to even propose such a change.

But no Amendment is absolute. We can fight for change in courts. The Second Amendment doesn’t give you the right to own a semi-automatic rifle or unlimited ammunition.

Don’t act like President Joe Biden doesn’t know what he’s talking about when he says, “No Amendment to the Constitution is absolute,” because he’s right. You may not like that he wants to change gun laws, but don’t act like he’s the one who doesn’t know his shit. When you do, you only prove you’re an idiot.

The Constitution is not infallible. It was written by slave owners. Our first five presidents were slave owners with a total of 12 presidents owning slaves. These are men who wrote, “All men are created equal” who also held slaves and didn’t believe women should have the right to vote. We can’t live by the standards of our “barbarous ancestors” who wrote the Constitution in 1787.

It’s time to move on and stop living by standards that was the norm 233 years ago. I can drink to that.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have FIVE copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw:

A Poor Man’s Nixon


cjones02262019

“A poor man’s something” is an expression used to describe an item or a person as being similar to something else of a higher quality. For example; you can say an Epiphone guitar is a poor man’s Gibson. If you own an Epiphone, don’t feel bad. I own one too and it’s awesome but it’s not a Gibson. You get my point.

Yesterday, Donald Trump described former Deputy Director of the FBI, and briefly acting director, as a liar, “disgrace to his country,” and a “poor man’s J. Edgar Hoover.”

Donald Trump projects himself onto others. Naturally, he’s a liar, a disgrace to his country, and now I think he’s a cross dresser.

McCabe was fired from the FBI, mere hours before he was to qualify for his pension. Trump spent months smearing the guy at rallies, press conferences, and on Twitter before the bureau finally felt enough pressure to remove McCabe from his job and rob him of benefits earned through years of service. After the firing, Trump took a victory lap on Twitter.

Trump has worked hard to ruin lives, reputations, and careers, not just to save his own skin, but to feed his base.

McCabe is promoting his new book, “The Threat: How the FBI protects America in the age of terror and Trump.” Trump is complaining about the guy writing a book…after he stole his pension.

While Trump is claiming the book is full of lies, he’s contradicting himself by using one of the book’s claims as an example of the “Deep State” plotting a coup.

After Trump fired FBI Director James Comey, then bragged to Russians in the Oval Office that he ended the problem of being investigated over Russia, then gave those same Russians classified information, in addition to a long train of him being submissive to and defensive of Vladimir Putin, the guys at the FBI started to detect a pattern. It doesn’t take a career professional in intelligence to see that Trump is beholden to Russia and is eyeball deep in corruption. But Andrew McCabe and Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein discussed options for invoking the Constitution’s 25th Amendment to oust Trump. During these conversations, according to McCabe, Rosenstein talked about wearing a wire while talking to Trump.

McCabe maintains that Rosenstein discussed it on more than one occasion. The Justice Department’s denial of this is that Rosenstein never wore a wire while in the presence of Trump. That’s not a denial it wasn’t discussed.

Two things here; these guys can’t invoke the 25th Amendment. That is a process for the president’s cabinet. The guys at Justice can cajole, prod, and attempt to influence, but they can’t enact it. The second thing is, I don’t think catching Trump admitting corrupt things on a wire would do anything. They guy yelled at campaign rallies for Putin to help him and proudly told NBC’s Lester Hold that he obstructed justice in firing James Comey.

Trump is all over this. He tweeted, “Wow, so many lies by now disgraced acting FBI Director Andrew McCabe. He was fired for lying, and now his story gets even more deranged. He and Rod Rosenstein, who was hired by Jeff Sessions (another beauty), look like they were planning a very illegal act, and got caught.”

McCabe was for making an “unauthorized disclosure” to the media, that didn’t actually violate FBI rules. He was also fired for “lack of candor.” It’s funny that these career professionals, like McCabe, Comey, and Peter Stzrok all had stellar reputations and respect until Trump discovered their “corruption.” And, how did they “get caught” if McCabe revealed it? Someone should explain to Trump “caught” is when you’re caught, like the time Michael Cohen released a tape of Trump talking about paying hush money to pornstars and Playmates, after he denied ever knowing about it. That’s an example of being “caught.”

Trump also attacked Jeff Sessions for hiring Rosenstein, even though Trump hired Sessions and…wait for it…Rod Rosenstein. As it turns out, McCabe had authorized a criminal investigation into Jeff Sessions over “whether Sessions lacked candor when testifying before Congress about contacts with Russian operatives.”

Donald Trump has done everything he can to subvert the Constitution and obstruct justice. He’s fired people investigating him. He’s pressured others to make the firings. He’s placed sycophants in high positions who swear to protect him, like interim Attorney General Matthew Whitaker who said his job was to “jump on a grenade” to protect Trump. While Whitaker was in charge at Justice, Trump reportedly called to ask him to put an ally in charge of the hush money investigation in New York.

The FBI started to investigate Trump after the Comey firing, which they handed off to the Special Counsel. The bureau was also working to preserve evidence on Trump and Russia, because people in charge of investigations kept getting fired and sycophants were replacing them.

The investigation was to determine if Trump had obstructed justice and whether he might be, wittingly or not, in league with the Russians. The goal of the backup plan was to ensure that the information collected under the investigations, which included probes of Trump associates and possible coordination between Russia and the Trump campaign, would survive the firings or reassignments of top law enforcement officials.

After Mueller finishes his report and hands it off the newly appointed Attorney General, we’ll find out how well those backup plans work.

I don’t think McCabe is a poor man’s J. Edgar Hoover, but Trump is the poor man’s Richard Nixon.

Be Complicit

What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

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Wildfire


cjones10152017

As at least 20 wildfires rage in California, killing 35 so far, Donald Trump is gutting Obama’s Climate Change policy (along with everything else Obama initiated during his term. More on that with my next cartoon). While Trump has issued a disaster declaration for the Golden state, Californians will probably have to issue huge compliments and gratitude for Cheetolini to do more.

Thousands of homes have been lost to the fires, including the Santa Rosa home to one of my heroes, Peanuts creator Charles Schulz.

When it comes to disasters, Trump is picking and choosing which Americans he wants to receive aid. While Texas, Florida and Puerto Rico are also recovering from hurricanes, Trump is issuing threats to the territory that we can’t stay there forever, as if it’s a foreign nation we’re occupying.

Trump is also picking and choosing which parts of his oath of office he plans to keep.

Donald Trump recited the oath of office which states, “I do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States.” Donald Trump said those words, but they apparently don’t mean anything to him.

Trump is concerned with people disrespecting the flag of the United States and the National Anthem (unless it’s Kid Rock wearing the flag as a diaper. He gets invited to the White House). He has said that people can’t disrespect those. Much like the stock market and the national debt (which Trump said last week, one will pay off the other), he doesn’t understand the United States Constitution…or the fact he’s sworn to protect it.

Trump loves the flag controversy. It helps him further divide this nation and it allows him to continue to be president only for the low-information rubes who support him. There is no actual danger to this nation if someone disrespects a flag, a song you don’t know all the words to, or even our military (which has not technically fought for American freedom since the Civil War). It’s red meat for stupid religious zealots, like vowing we’re going to start saying “merry Christmas” again, which must be a secret ban Obama implemented. I can’t find any information on that, no matter how hard I search.

A rhetorical question I posed on Twitter a few days ago to Trump sycophants was: “what’s worse? Disrespecting the flag or the U.S. Constitution?” Violating one of those actually endangers our freedom, and it’s not the flag.

What is frightening as hell is that we have a president, who idolizes authoritarian figures, who is disregarding the parts of the Constitution he doesn’t like.

Trump says people can’t disrespect the flag. Yes, they can. It’s protected speech. The Constitution doesn’t say that only speech Donald J. Trump agrees with is allowed.

While every president has issues with the press, Trump has been in a constant love/hate relationship with it for his entire life. Lately, he’s focusing on the hate.

Upset at a report that he wanted to increase our nuclear arsenal (because he doesn’t understand treaties either), he blasted NBC. Trump tweeted, “with all of the Fake News coming out of NBC and the Networks, at what point is it appropriate to challenge their License? Bad for country!” He also wondered out loud why the Senate Intelligence Committee wasn’t looking into the “fake news networks.”

Wednesday, Trump said, “it is frankly disgusting the way the press is able to write whatever they want to write, and people should look into it.” Guess what, you walking mango. I looked into it. Yes, the press pretty much can write whatever they want to write. It’s how Trump’s favorite publications, The National Enquirer, Breitbart, InfoWars, and Fox News can spread made-up bullshit for Trump to help disseminate.

First off, there is not a license for news network, no more than there are licenses for journalists (including political cartoonists). Individual stations are licensed, but not networks. The Federal Communications Commission (FCC) does not regulate content. This isn’t Nazi Germany, or present-day North Korea, or Cuba, or Azerbaijan, or China, or Russia, or Iran, or Saudi Arabia, or Egypt, or Turkey, or Uzbekistan, etc.

Second, freedom of the press is guaranteed by the First Amendment. If you’re a Trump voter, that’s the very first one in the Constitution. Our Founding Fathers thought it was kinda important. Trump might have autocratic fantasies about ditching parts of the Constitution that he and his stupid base don’t care about, or have never bothered to read, but he has sworn to defend it.

Similar to how you can’t choose which American citizens are worthy enough to receive disaster relief, and which are not, you can’t pick which parts of the Constitution you swear to defend. I know the Second Amendment is the only one you get a boner for, but you might want to look into the others.

When it comes to people who kneel during a song and people who want to violate the United States Constitution, only one of those groups should have their patriotism questioned (hint: It’s not the protesters).

Did you know that in addition to protecting the press and protesters, the First Amendment also allows you to practice whichever religion you fundamentalist zealots choose? Also, it prevents anyone from stopping you from saying “merry Christmas.”

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Trumping The Constitution


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Proponents of a flag burning Amendment say the Founding Fathers didn’t envision people burning flags. They probably didn’t envision people owning Uzis either.

On Monday night Donald Trump watched something on Fox News about a guy burning a flag at a college in Massachusetts. Because he’s easily led and has impulse control issues Trump tweeted that anyone burning an American flag should lose one’s citizenship and serve a year in jail. Saying crap like that is what makes people want to burn a flag. And someone did right in front of Trump Tower.

A lot of people agreed with Trump. I find that bizarre and hypocritical as those same people cry about Obama desecrating the Constitution but they’ll hand Trump the scissors to chop it up. You can’t be a Constitutionalist if you’re not defending the freedom it guarantees. I know conservatives love that Second Amendment thing but I encourage them to learn a bit more about the Constitution. People like Donald Trump (Psst, Donald. There’s 27 Amendments).

A lot of people disagree with Trump, even many conservatives. But they all say the politically correct thing which is “I’m disgusted by people burning the flag but I protect their right to do so….but I really wanna assault them.” West Virginia Senator and Democrat Joe Manchin said something to that effect.

Burning the flag is protected speech. What other reason does one have to burn a flag? You’re not going to replace charcoal with flags next July 4th to grill your weenies.

The Supreme Court has ruled, twice, that burning the flag is protected speech. Even Trump’s hero Antonin Scalia ruled it was protected. Also, you can’t revoke someone’s citizenship. That’s another thing protected by the Constitution. The government can not revoke someone’s citizenship against their will. It seems Trump might wanna brush up on these sort of details as he takes the presidency.

Trump is no fan of the Constitution. He’s already made goals of restricting freedom of the press. Trump’s rhetoric is such a threat to the 1st Amendment that some people are moving to Canada (hippies). The non-profit internet archive, which is based in San Francisco (gay hippies), is commonly referred as the “Wayback Machine.” What it does is archive web pages. So when one doesn’t exist anymore they may have it. Information such as vice president-elect Mike Pence’s first Congressional run when he wanted to strip funding for Aids research and use that money to convert gays into being straight (show them this Trump cartoon). The Wayback group is going to preserve a copy of all their archives in Canada as Trump has threatened the First Amendment and Net Neutrality.

In the early 1990s Congress tried to pass a new Amendment which would forbid flag burning. It was supported by President George H.W. Bush. It failed. These sort of issues are squirrels. You know, as in “SQUIRREL!” They’re distractions, kinda like when states would put gay marriage restrictions on ballots. Hey, ignore all the messed up stuff we’re doing and ignoring….gays are getting married and burning flags. The question is: What is Trump trying to distract us from? Did he just lease the South Lawn to Irish keggers?

But why stop at outlawing burning flags? Why not add to it by forcing everyone to erect a manger scene in front of their house and demand that Starbucks put snowflakes on their cups?

As I said, it’s politically correct to say you’re against flag burning but you protect the right to do so. I’m gonna be honest. I’m not offended by burning flags. You’re gonna have to push my buttons a lot harder. I don’t care if you think this country sucks. That’s too bad. I don’t care if you burn a piece of fabric with an image on it, even if that image is the United States flag or…gasp…the Chicago Cubs logo (doesn’t mean I have to like you). Besides, America does suck. America also rocks. It sucks at a lot of things like our mortality rate and the fact most people who want to ban flag burning can’t name the three branches of government. It’s great that it allows those people to be stupid, moronic, racist, Trump voters. That’s your right. It’s also great in that fake news is entirely legal and can scare the masses to give us a Cheeto Potentate, which totally sucks. Basically America is a mixed bag. Burn a flag, revere the flag, build a manger, scream at coffee cups, do what you want. Don’t hurt anyone and I won’t be offended.

I am much more offended by people trampling the Constitution because that protects us. The flag doesn’t protect anybody and nobody ever fought for a flag. It’s a symbol. Maybe it means a lot to you, but it’s just an image. I’m also more offended by people being trampled on, being disenfranchised, rights taken away, abused, punished unfairly and imprisoned for a corporate profit system. I’m more offended when someone burns a church, mosque, synagogue, than a flag.

 

You don’t have the right not to be offended. Sorry, Sunshine. Besides, nobody offends you. You’re choosing to be offended. You can do that because America, and the Constitution rocks. Let’s not let Donald Trump crap in it.

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