Constitution

Absolut Biden


Cjones04162021

I love that people who identify themselves as Constitutionalists don’t know shit fuck about the Constitution.

Usually, when a “Constitutionalist” screams about the Constitution and the rights it guarantees, it is really only talking about one Amendment, and that’s the Second. In case you don’t know what that Amendment guarantees, ask a “Constitutionalist.” The other thing I love about “Constitutionalists” is that they’ll tell you only part of what’s in the Second Amendment. Not only will they NOT tell you what the entire Amendment says, but when they tell you the part, “the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed,” they won’t even tell you the entire sentence.

What does the rest of that sentence say? It says, “A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State…” and then it gives you, ” the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.”

When you talk to a “Constitutionalist,” especially the white male Christian ones, they believe they’re all infringed. They’re the most infringed people in world history.

The other thing I love about these wingnuts is that they don’t know history and they don’t know civics. Take Fox News fucknut Steve Doocy as an example. This asstwat goes on national TV every weekday morning, talks about the Constitution, and doesn’t know dick for shit what he’s talking about.

While introducing measures to curb gun violence, President Joe Biden said, “No amendment to the Constitution is absolute.” With that, conservatives lost their minds.

How dare the president say something so factual and historically accurate!!! How dare he know what he’s talking about!!!

Spoiler alert: None of the Amendments to the United States Constitution are absolute. They are not set in stone. The Constitution is a living document, as in it can be changed. But don’t take my word for it. I’m just a cartoonist. Let’s take Thomas Jefferson’s word.

Jefferson said, “I am not an advocate for frequent changes in laws and constitutions, but laws and institutions must go hand in hand with the progress of the human mind. As that becomes more developed, more enlightened, as new discoveries are made, new truths discovered and manners and opinions change, with the change of circumstances, institutions must advance also to keep pace with the times. We might as well require a man to wear still the coat which fitted him when a boy as civilized society to remain ever under the regimen of their barbarous ancestors.”

Here’s your first history lesson for the day, conservatives: Thomas Jefferson was one of the framers of the Constitution. Ouch. That one stings. Walk it off. It’s about to get worse.

Steve Doocy, who is NOT Thomas Jefferson, went off the rails on his morning show for numbnuts. Doocy said, “The part that is really shocking is where the President just said no amendment to the Constitution is absolute. He’s talking about the Second Amendment, which he does not regard as, you know, giving everybody the right to do whatever they want to with guns, we know that we know his talking point.” It’s nice that he believes the Second Amendment gives everyone the right to do whatever they want with guns.

When talking about the Constitution, would you rather take the word from a guy named Jefferson or a turd named Doocy? I’d listen to George Jefferson before I’d listen to Steve Doocy.

This is where Doocy displays his ignorance. He rhetorically asked, “But what about if no Amendment is absolute? What about how does he feel about the First Amendment? How does he feel about the freedom of religion, how does he feel about freedom of speech?” I say he asked “rhetorically” because he ignored that Biden gave a civics and history lesson in his speech.

President Biden said, “You can’t yell ‘fire’ in a crowded movie theater and call it freedom of speech. From the very beginning, you couldn’t own any weapon you wanted to own. From the very beginning that the Second Amendment existed, certain people weren’t allowed to have weapons. So the idea is just bizarre to suggest that some of the things we’re recommending are contrary to the Constitution.”

The First Amendment gives you the freedom of speech, but it doesn’t give you the freedom to say anything you want. Courts have ruled you don’t have the right to libel someone. You don’t have the right to speak and cause a panic or a riot. I can call Steve Doocy a butt muncher but I can’t make a public claim that he literally munches on butts.

As Jefferson said, ” We might as well require a man to wear still the coat which fitted him when a boy as civilized society to remain ever under the regimen of their barbarous ancestors.” Jefferson probably anticipated slavery would eventually be outlawed…and banning it would become a Constitutional amendment. See? We outgrew out childish pants and outgrew the regimen of our “barbarous ancestors.” And the Constitution changed from the first ten amendments our founding fathers created, and written by James Madison, which is the Bill of Rights. Also, Madison was another slave owner, but you know what he didn’t own? A fucking AR-15.

We have added 27 amendments to the Constitution. We’ve added stuff like allowing women to vote, banning slavery, electing the president and vice-president on the same ticket, electing senators by popular vote, and banning the sale of alcohol. Wait. Selling and buying alcohol is legal today. If amendments to the Constitution are absolute, then why is the sale of alcohol legal? Because Amendments…wait for it….ARE NOT ABSOLUTE.

In 1919, the 18th Amendment was ratified by the required number of states and added to the United States Constitution. This Amendment made the sale and purchase of alcohol illegal in the United States. There were no exceptions. Being that this nation does like to drink and the government couldn’t stop people from drinking, or the organized crime from it, the Amendment was repealed 24 years later. And this was done without a serious liquor lobby behind it.

In 1933, the required numbers of states said, “Get the fuck out of here,” to the 18th Amendment and the 21st was born, which repealed the 18th. On a side note, I still think it’s funny that marijuana is federally outlawed and there’s nothing in the Constitution about it. We need a weed Amendment because alcohol is much worse than weed.

We have only changed one Amendment but that proves no Amendment is absolute. What will it take to repeal an Amendment?

To change the Constitution, Congress has to call a Constitutional Convention for proposing amendments upon application of the legislatures of two-thirds of the states. That means 34 states have to agree to the convention, to even discuss it. Then, any Amendments proposed by Congress or the Convention only becomes valid when three-fourths of states’ legislatures or state conventions ratify the proposed Amendment. It would take 38 states to add a new Amendment to the Constitution.

Now it’s my turn to ask a rhetorical question: Can we get 38 states to do anything to change the Second Amendment? Hell no. We’ll never get Congress to even propose such a change.

But no Amendment is absolute. We can fight for change in courts. The Second Amendment doesn’t give you the right to own a semi-automatic rifle or unlimited ammunition.

Don’t act like President Joe Biden doesn’t know what he’s talking about when he says, “No Amendment to the Constitution is absolute,” because he’s right. You may not like that he wants to change gun laws, but don’t act like he’s the one who doesn’t know his shit. When you do, you only prove you’re an idiot.

The Constitution is not infallible. It was written by slave owners. Our first five presidents were slave owners with a total of 12 presidents owning slaves. These are men who wrote, “All men are created equal” who also held slaves and didn’t believe women should have the right to vote. We can’t live by the standards of our “barbarous ancestors” who wrote the Constitution in 1787.

It’s time to move on and stop living by standards that was the norm 233 years ago. I can drink to that.

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A Poor Man’s Nixon


cjones02262019

“A poor man’s something” is an expression used to describe an item or a person as being similar to something else of a higher quality. For example; you can say an Epiphone guitar is a poor man’s Gibson. If you own an Epiphone, don’t feel bad. I own one too and it’s awesome but it’s not a Gibson. You get my point.

Yesterday, Donald Trump described former Deputy Director of the FBI, and briefly acting director, as a liar, “disgrace to his country,” and a “poor man’s J. Edgar Hoover.”

Donald Trump projects himself onto others. Naturally, he’s a liar, a disgrace to his country, and now I think he’s a cross dresser.

McCabe was fired from the FBI, mere hours before he was to qualify for his pension. Trump spent months smearing the guy at rallies, press conferences, and on Twitter before the bureau finally felt enough pressure to remove McCabe from his job and rob him of benefits earned through years of service. After the firing, Trump took a victory lap on Twitter.

Trump has worked hard to ruin lives, reputations, and careers, not just to save his own skin, but to feed his base.

McCabe is promoting his new book, “The Threat: How the FBI protects America in the age of terror and Trump.” Trump is complaining about the guy writing a book…after he stole his pension.

While Trump is claiming the book is full of lies, he’s contradicting himself by using one of the book’s claims as an example of the “Deep State” plotting a coup.

After Trump fired FBI Director James Comey, then bragged to Russians in the Oval Office that he ended the problem of being investigated over Russia, then gave those same Russians classified information, in addition to a long train of him being submissive to and defensive of Vladimir Putin, the guys at the FBI started to detect a pattern. It doesn’t take a career professional in intelligence to see that Trump is beholden to Russia and is eyeball deep in corruption. But Andrew McCabe and Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein discussed options for invoking the Constitution’s 25th Amendment to oust Trump. During these conversations, according to McCabe, Rosenstein talked about wearing a wire while talking to Trump.

McCabe maintains that Rosenstein discussed it on more than one occasion. The Justice Department’s denial of this is that Rosenstein never wore a wire while in the presence of Trump. That’s not a denial it wasn’t discussed.

Two things here; these guys can’t invoke the 25th Amendment. That is a process for the president’s cabinet. The guys at Justice can cajole, prod, and attempt to influence, but they can’t enact it. The second thing is, I don’t think catching Trump admitting corrupt things on a wire would do anything. They guy yelled at campaign rallies for Putin to help him and proudly told NBC’s Lester Hold that he obstructed justice in firing James Comey.

Trump is all over this. He tweeted, “Wow, so many lies by now disgraced acting FBI Director Andrew McCabe. He was fired for lying, and now his story gets even more deranged. He and Rod Rosenstein, who was hired by Jeff Sessions (another beauty), look like they were planning a very illegal act, and got caught.”

McCabe was for making an “unauthorized disclosure” to the media, that didn’t actually violate FBI rules. He was also fired for “lack of candor.” It’s funny that these career professionals, like McCabe, Comey, and Peter Stzrok all had stellar reputations and respect until Trump discovered their “corruption.” And, how did they “get caught” if McCabe revealed it? Someone should explain to Trump “caught” is when you’re caught, like the time Michael Cohen released a tape of Trump talking about paying hush money to pornstars and Playmates, after he denied ever knowing about it. That’s an example of being “caught.”

Trump also attacked Jeff Sessions for hiring Rosenstein, even though Trump hired Sessions and…wait for it…Rod Rosenstein. As it turns out, McCabe had authorized a criminal investigation into Jeff Sessions over “whether Sessions lacked candor when testifying before Congress about contacts with Russian operatives.”

Donald Trump has done everything he can to subvert the Constitution and obstruct justice. He’s fired people investigating him. He’s pressured others to make the firings. He’s placed sycophants in high positions who swear to protect him, like interim Attorney General Matthew Whitaker who said his job was to “jump on a grenade” to protect Trump. While Whitaker was in charge at Justice, Trump reportedly called to ask him to put an ally in charge of the hush money investigation in New York.

The FBI started to investigate Trump after the Comey firing, which they handed off to the Special Counsel. The bureau was also working to preserve evidence on Trump and Russia, because people in charge of investigations kept getting fired and sycophants were replacing them.

The investigation was to determine if Trump had obstructed justice and whether he might be, wittingly or not, in league with the Russians. The goal of the backup plan was to ensure that the information collected under the investigations, which included probes of Trump associates and possible coordination between Russia and the Trump campaign, would survive the firings or reassignments of top law enforcement officials.

After Mueller finishes his report and hands it off the newly appointed Attorney General, we’ll find out how well those backup plans work.

I don’t think McCabe is a poor man’s J. Edgar Hoover, but Trump is the poor man’s Richard Nixon.

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Wildfire


cjones10152017

As at least 20 wildfires rage in California, killing 35 so far, Donald Trump is gutting Obama’s Climate Change policy (along with everything else Obama initiated during his term. More on that with my next cartoon). While Trump has issued a disaster declaration for the Golden state, Californians will probably have to issue huge compliments and gratitude for Cheetolini to do more.

Thousands of homes have been lost to the fires, including the Santa Rosa home to one of my heroes, Peanuts creator Charles Schulz.

When it comes to disasters, Trump is picking and choosing which Americans he wants to receive aid. While Texas, Florida and Puerto Rico are also recovering from hurricanes, Trump is issuing threats to the territory that we can’t stay there forever, as if it’s a foreign nation we’re occupying.

Trump is also picking and choosing which parts of his oath of office he plans to keep.

Donald Trump recited the oath of office which states, “I do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States.” Donald Trump said those words, but they apparently don’t mean anything to him.

Trump is concerned with people disrespecting the flag of the United States and the National Anthem (unless it’s Kid Rock wearing the flag as a diaper. He gets invited to the White House). He has said that people can’t disrespect those. Much like the stock market and the national debt (which Trump said last week, one will pay off the other), he doesn’t understand the United States Constitution…or the fact he’s sworn to protect it.

Trump loves the flag controversy. It helps him further divide this nation and it allows him to continue to be president only for the low-information rubes who support him. There is no actual danger to this nation if someone disrespects a flag, a song you don’t know all the words to, or even our military (which has not technically fought for American freedom since the Civil War). It’s red meat for stupid religious zealots, like vowing we’re going to start saying “merry Christmas” again, which must be a secret ban Obama implemented. I can’t find any information on that, no matter how hard I search.

A rhetorical question I posed on Twitter a few days ago to Trump sycophants was: “what’s worse? Disrespecting the flag or the U.S. Constitution?” Violating one of those actually endangers our freedom, and it’s not the flag.

What is frightening as hell is that we have a president, who idolizes authoritarian figures, who is disregarding the parts of the Constitution he doesn’t like.

Trump says people can’t disrespect the flag. Yes, they can. It’s protected speech. The Constitution doesn’t say that only speech Donald J. Trump agrees with is allowed.

While every president has issues with the press, Trump has been in a constant love/hate relationship with it for his entire life. Lately, he’s focusing on the hate.

Upset at a report that he wanted to increase our nuclear arsenal (because he doesn’t understand treaties either), he blasted NBC. Trump tweeted, “with all of the Fake News coming out of NBC and the Networks, at what point is it appropriate to challenge their License? Bad for country!” He also wondered out loud why the Senate Intelligence Committee wasn’t looking into the “fake news networks.”

Wednesday, Trump said, “it is frankly disgusting the way the press is able to write whatever they want to write, and people should look into it.” Guess what, you walking mango. I looked into it. Yes, the press pretty much can write whatever they want to write. It’s how Trump’s favorite publications, The National Enquirer, Breitbart, InfoWars, and Fox News can spread made-up bullshit for Trump to help disseminate.

First off, there is not a license for news network, no more than there are licenses for journalists (including political cartoonists). Individual stations are licensed, but not networks. The Federal Communications Commission (FCC) does not regulate content. This isn’t Nazi Germany, or present-day North Korea, or Cuba, or Azerbaijan, or China, or Russia, or Iran, or Saudi Arabia, or Egypt, or Turkey, or Uzbekistan, etc.

Second, freedom of the press is guaranteed by the First Amendment. If you’re a Trump voter, that’s the very first one in the Constitution. Our Founding Fathers thought it was kinda important. Trump might have autocratic fantasies about ditching parts of the Constitution that he and his stupid base don’t care about, or have never bothered to read, but he has sworn to defend it.

Similar to how you can’t choose which American citizens are worthy enough to receive disaster relief, and which are not, you can’t pick which parts of the Constitution you swear to defend. I know the Second Amendment is the only one you get a boner for, but you might want to look into the others.

When it comes to people who kneel during a song and people who want to violate the United States Constitution, only one of those groups should have their patriotism questioned (hint: It’s not the protesters).

Did you know that in addition to protecting the press and protesters, the First Amendment also allows you to practice whichever religion you fundamentalist zealots choose? Also, it prevents anyone from stopping you from saying “merry Christmas.”

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Trumping The Constitution


cjones12022016

Proponents of a flag burning Amendment say the Founding Fathers didn’t envision people burning flags. They probably didn’t envision people owning Uzis either.

On Monday night Donald Trump watched something on Fox News about a guy burning a flag at a college in Massachusetts. Because he’s easily led and has impulse control issues Trump tweeted that anyone burning an American flag should lose one’s citizenship and serve a year in jail. Saying crap like that is what makes people want to burn a flag. And someone did right in front of Trump Tower.

A lot of people agreed with Trump. I find that bizarre and hypocritical as those same people cry about Obama desecrating the Constitution but they’ll hand Trump the scissors to chop it up. You can’t be a Constitutionalist if you’re not defending the freedom it guarantees. I know conservatives love that Second Amendment thing but I encourage them to learn a bit more about the Constitution. People like Donald Trump (Psst, Donald. There’s 27 Amendments).

A lot of people disagree with Trump, even many conservatives. But they all say the politically correct thing which is “I’m disgusted by people burning the flag but I protect their right to do so….but I really wanna assault them.” West Virginia Senator and Democrat Joe Manchin said something to that effect.

Burning the flag is protected speech. What other reason does one have to burn a flag? You’re not going to replace charcoal with flags next July 4th to grill your weenies.

The Supreme Court has ruled, twice, that burning the flag is protected speech. Even Trump’s hero Antonin Scalia ruled it was protected. Also, you can’t revoke someone’s citizenship. That’s another thing protected by the Constitution. The government can not revoke someone’s citizenship against their will. It seems Trump might wanna brush up on these sort of details as he takes the presidency.

Trump is no fan of the Constitution. He’s already made goals of restricting freedom of the press. Trump’s rhetoric is such a threat to the 1st Amendment that some people are moving to Canada (hippies). The non-profit internet archive, which is based in San Francisco (gay hippies), is commonly referred as the “Wayback Machine.” What it does is archive web pages. So when one doesn’t exist anymore they may have it. Information such as vice president-elect Mike Pence’s first Congressional run when he wanted to strip funding for Aids research and use that money to convert gays into being straight (show them this Trump cartoon). The Wayback group is going to preserve a copy of all their archives in Canada as Trump has threatened the First Amendment and Net Neutrality.

In the early 1990s Congress tried to pass a new Amendment which would forbid flag burning. It was supported by President George H.W. Bush. It failed. These sort of issues are squirrels. You know, as in “SQUIRREL!” They’re distractions, kinda like when states would put gay marriage restrictions on ballots. Hey, ignore all the messed up stuff we’re doing and ignoring….gays are getting married and burning flags. The question is: What is Trump trying to distract us from? Did he just lease the South Lawn to Irish keggers?

But why stop at outlawing burning flags? Why not add to it by forcing everyone to erect a manger scene in front of their house and demand that Starbucks put snowflakes on their cups?

As I said, it’s politically correct to say you’re against flag burning but you protect the right to do so. I’m gonna be honest. I’m not offended by burning flags. You’re gonna have to push my buttons a lot harder. I don’t care if you think this country sucks. That’s too bad. I don’t care if you burn a piece of fabric with an image on it, even if that image is the United States flag or…gasp…the Chicago Cubs logo (doesn’t mean I have to like you). Besides, America does suck. America also rocks. It sucks at a lot of things like our mortality rate and the fact most people who want to ban flag burning can’t name the three branches of government. It’s great that it allows those people to be stupid, moronic, racist, Trump voters. That’s your right. It’s also great in that fake news is entirely legal and can scare the masses to give us a Cheeto Potentate, which totally sucks. Basically America is a mixed bag. Burn a flag, revere the flag, build a manger, scream at coffee cups, do what you want. Don’t hurt anyone and I won’t be offended.

I am much more offended by people trampling the Constitution because that protects us. The flag doesn’t protect anybody and nobody ever fought for a flag. It’s a symbol. Maybe it means a lot to you, but it’s just an image. I’m also more offended by people being trampled on, being disenfranchised, rights taken away, abused, punished unfairly and imprisoned for a corporate profit system. I’m more offended when someone burns a church, mosque, synagogue, than a flag.

 

You don’t have the right not to be offended. Sorry, Sunshine. Besides, nobody offends you. You’re choosing to be offended. You can do that because America, and the Constitution rocks. Let’s not let Donald Trump crap in it.

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