Champ

Who’s A Good Boy?


cjones03142021

President Joe Biden has brought dogs back into the White House. One of the dogs, Major, is the first rescue dog to occupy the White House. Having a dog shows that a person has empathy, care, and love for something other than himself. It’s why Donald Trump never owned a dog.

Earlier this week, someone spooked Major and he bit that individual. According to reports, Major “nipped” a Secret Service agent. A nip is when it is a bite but skin is not broken.

Major and co-first dog, Champ, were both returned to the Biden home in Delaware while First Lady Jill Biden was traveling. They’ll return to the White House soon enough. The White House is still a new environment and for now, it probably will be better for their mom to be there with them. Major and Champ are on the very short list of who can walk into the Oval Office at any time. And I don’t see any issues with them getting on the furniture after Donald Trump let Kellyanne Conway put her feet on the couch.

These are big dogs. During the transition, Major actually caused Joe Biden to fracture his foot while they were playing together. A grown man in his 70s playing with his dogs is a man you want to be friends with. Since these are large dogs, it’s not surprising there are occasional bumps and bruises. Even small dogs can throw a person down stairs. Dachshunds can be brutal. Don’t get me started on cats which are natural terrorists constantly plotting your impending murder.

It’s too bad Major bit a Secret Service Agent…and not a Republican.

It’s too bad Major didn’t bite Roger Wicker for boasting about the money restaurants will receive from the stimulus, yet not voting for the stimulus.

It’s too bad Major didn’t bite Tom Cotton who went off the rails over inmates receiving $1,400 checks…and not losing his shit over inmates receiving checks from the first two stimulus packages when Trump was president. There are also a few retroactive bites Tom Cotton deserves, like for that time when sent a letter to Iran trying to undermine President Obama’s negotiations over a nuclear agreement.

Maybe Major can bite Tucker Carlson. What for? A lot of things actually but let’s start over Tucker’s comments on women in the military. During one of his stupid shows this week, Tucker criticized the military for having women in it while also praising China for building more ships. He called China’s move “more masculine,” while saying about women, “So we’ve got new hairstyles and maternity flight suits — pregnant women are going to fight our wars. It’s a mockery of the U.S. military.” Tucker Carlson is a mockery of journalism and he deserves a few bites.

There are other people in Washington Major can bite. He can start with Ted Cruz just for being Ted Cruz. And if Major can get that awful taste out of his mouth, perhaps he can go after Matt Gaetz, Jim Jordan, Lindsey Graham, Josh Hawley, and Ron Johnson?

Aw, screw it. Go for it, Major. Bite every single Republican in Congress who didn’t vote for the stimulus. Since every single Republican voted against it, you’re gonna need back-up. Is Champ in a biting mood?

What sort of treats and Scooby Snacks do you give a dog for biting Republicans? We might be talking steaks here.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have SEVEN copies of my book in stock, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

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Deprogramming MAGA


cjones01282021

If you’re a Trump supporter, you’re probably in a cult.

I mean, if you casually voted for Trump after analyzing both candidates, then decided you’re OK with Nazis, maybe you’re not in a cult and you’re just an average, normal everyday-kind of racist. But if you’re a fire-breathing Donald Trump supporter, where he is the ultimate authority and everything he says is true and the law, then you’re in a cult. If you believe Never Trumpers are the equivalent of sinners, yeah, you’re in a cult. Seek help.

One of the signs that you’re in a cult is believing everything the leader says. By this point you’re brainwashed. It starts by repeating a lie constantly until that lie is the utmost truth and the people who point out facts aren’t just the liars, but evil. After you’re brainwashed, the lies become more easily accepted.

If you believe there is a deep state running this government that’s comprised of Satan worshipping pedophiles, you’re definitely in a cult. If you believe cannibals are controlling the government, you’re in a cult. If you believed in Pizzagate, you’re in a cult. And it’s brilliant how that’s done.

It’s starts with super crazy and then they sell you something that doesn’t have lizard people or the devil, and things start looking normal and easy to believe… but because you’ve been desensitized to crazy bullshit, you can’t even spot crazy anymore.

Maybe you did vote for Trump but you don’t believe any of the Qanon stuff I listed above. But you’re probably still in a cult. What’s just as crazy as believing in deep state lizard people? Believing Donald Trump won the election, or the election was stolen, or that dead people were voting, or Dominion voting machines were switching votes, or there were ballot dumps.

If you believe it’s impossible that this nation would reject a guy who tanked the economy then did nothing while over 400,000 American died from a virus, you’re in a cult.

How many times was the election fraud lie drilled into your head? How many facts do you have that support your belief Trump won the election? You don’t have any. Look at the “facts” you believe you have. Are they actually facts? No. They’re not. You’re in a cult.

Did you believe that Congress wouldn’t certify the election on January 6? I talked to several Trump cultists who had strong faith that wouldn’t happen.

After that happened, did you believe that on inauguration day, some sort of miracle would arrive to prevent Joe Biden from being sworn in? I’ve talked to a few cultists who believed that.

Do you now believe that somehow in some shape or form, Donald Trump is going to be president again in the next few weeks or months? How crazy is that? It’s crazier than Pizzagate, but there are people who believe it.

The cultists are a major problem in this nation. Having half this nation base everything they believe on conspiracy theories is a major problem for both political parties. It’s a major problem for this entire nation. This nation will have a very hard time making progress in any area while half the country believes in dogmatic, cultist bullshit. And the rest of the world is looking at us the same way they look at the citizens of North Korea, except the North Koreans don’t have access to information. You do. You’re just choosing not to use it. Seriously, if you gave North Koreans State TV and CNN, a bunch of them would turn the channel to CNN. You’re not. You’re still watching State TV that’s praising Dear Leader.

We can’t give the McCarthy treatment to everyone who disagrees with us, but we can at least identify those who are poisoning our country. We can spot each one who’s spreading hate and fear and preaching violence…and then we can round them all up and give them electric shock treatments. Just kidding….mostly. But we do need to deprogram Trump cultist in a national campaign. Hopefully, we can limit the outlets that spread ignorance and stupid shit.

Already, misinformation about election fraud decreased online by 73% in the weeks following Donald Trump’s ban from Twitter and other social media accounts. One man had the ability to poison half this country. Donald Trump is toxic. He’s poison. Donald Trump showed us what sort of power Joseph Goebbels would have had with Twitter. Hate and lies is all Trump dished, and half this nation ate it up.

Removing lies and hate speech, especially those designed to overthrow the government, from online platforms is not censorship. As we see now, it’s a public service. Removing hate speech and lies from social media is a health initiative for this nation. Hate is a national security threat.

And, if you believe the storming of the Capitol was a good thing, then you’re not just in a cult, but you’re also a white nationalist. We see through you. White nationalism is the greatest terror threat facing this country.

There will always be people who’ll believe in any crazy shit, like the Earth is flat, the moon landing was faked, Elvis is still alive, Pepsi is better than Coke, ketchup goes on hot dogs, etc. But maybe after a few months of seeing a human being in the White House, a guy who’s decent, not repeating hateful rhetoric, not retweeting Nazis, the kind of guy a dog will come to…then maybe this boiling hatred from the Trump cult will simmer down. Maybe after the heat decreases, they’ll actually start to listen.

And maybe eventually, we can solve the greatest mystery which is: How did they brainwash people without brains?

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have an order of 20 copies of my book (11 are left to purchase) on the way, which I’m selling for $45.00 each, signed. The books won’t arrive until after the new year, but orders are being taken and they’ll be shipped as soon as I receive them. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

Watch me draw: