California

Walgreen’s Boner


Walgreens just lost a multimillion-dollar contract with the state of California after the chain announced it would no longer distribute mifepristone in 21 states.

Mifepristone is an abortion pill. After the Supreme Court overturned Roe v Wade, several states banned abortions. Now, 21 attorneys general have threatened to sue Walgreens and other pharmacies if they carry abortion pills. Instead of fighting for women’s rights over their own bodies, Walgreens caved in faster than Kevin McCarthy to right-wing Qanon conspiracy theorists.

Governor Gavin Newsome said, “California will not stand by as corporations cave to extremists and cut off critical access to reproductive care and freedom.” He tweeted, “California won’t be doing business with Walgreens or any company that cowers to the extremists and puts women’s lives at risk.”

The governor directed the California Department of General Services to notify Walgreens that it would withdraw a planned renewal of the contract that was supposed to take effect on May 1. California had paid Walgreens $54 million over the life of the contract, which allowed it to get specialty prescription drugs that were mostly used by the Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation.

California has the fourth-largest economy in the world. This is going to hurt Walgreens.

The FDA has approved mifepristone and Texas is challenging that in court, trying to remove it beyond its jurisdiction in states that allow it. Texas also tried to invalidate Pennsylvania’s electoral vote. Texas is that neighbor who lets their dog shit in your yard.

Abortion is healthcare. Mifepristone does have other uses but what’s going on here is that Republicans are exercising their religious zealotry over a woman’s body, they’re trying to dictate a woman’s healthcare. The 21 states, just like the Supreme Court, are basing their opinions, not on science, but on religious zealotry. This mess is an extension of the Trump disaster.

I hope we see other states stand with Governor Newsome and California. Every blue state should join California in standing up for women’s rights and stand against Republican fascism.

Creative note: I made a second version of this cartoon because I’ve been in this business long enough to know that most newspapers would never publish the word “boner.” But, I know some of my alt-weeklies will.

Music Note: I listened to REM.

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are 19 copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

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Black Face On White Supremacy


Cjones09082021

Over the weekend, a speaker at a rally for California governor Gavin Newsome said his Republican opponent, Larry Elder, is a “black face on white supremacy.” Larry Elder is a controversial right-wing Trump-supporting conspiracy-spreading whack job with a radio show who also happens to be black. But black people can be conservative lunatics too, right? Is it fair to accuse one of them, like Larry Elder, of being a “black face on white supremacy?” After all, Larry Elder is totally 100 percent in favor of reparations for slavery.

Of course, it’s not descendants of slaves Larry wants reparations for. No, Larry believe slave OWNERS should be rewarded reparations.

Ya’ see, Larry was talking to fellow black conservative lunatic, Candace Owens (which helps defend him from the charges of racism because she can be his prop for a black friend), and he argued since slavery was legal, slave owners were robbed when slavery ended. He also argued the United States was the first country to end slavery, which is wildly untrue. We were one of the last to end slavery.

But here’s the thing, Larry: Even though slavery was legal, it was a human rights violation. You argue that white slave owners lost property with human beings being that property. Larry, you’re being a good Republican because you are putting monetary value over human lives.

There is one thing that transcends race and that is, it doesn’t matter if you’re black or white. Being a Republican today makes you a fucking heartless idiotic lunatic.

Larry is a black face on white supremacy because the shit he’s saying is what white supremacists say. Finally, the Ku Klux Klan has a black friend. But if Larry is like Tucker Carlson and Sean Hannity, he’ll probably claim white supremacy doesn’t exist.

Larry’s ex-fiancée claims he “demanded” she get a tattoo on her body saying, “Larry’s girl,” and during an argument (probably over the “Larry’s girl” thing), pulled out a gun. Larry also says he’s been accused of sexual harassment twice, but he used the Donald Trump defense and said one of them wasn’t attractive enough for him to sexually harass. He said, “If you had seen her, you would know that the picture would be a complete defense. I’m just saying.” If that’s an argument than can we argue ugly stupid men like Donald Trump and Larry Elder are never innocent of sexual harassment? Larry literally has a face for radio.

Larry wants to be governor of California and maybe he’s trying to lose in that blue state. He says if he becomes governor that he’ll replace Senator Dianne Feinstein with a Republican. That right there tells you not to vote for Larry Elder. But, he’s given you a lot of other reasons not to vote for him. Let’s list a few.

Larry wants to end welfare completely. He claims systemic racism isn’t a thing and Black Lives Matter is responsible for rising crime. Why doesn’t this guy have a show on Fox News?

If he’s elected, Larry will remove all covid precautions in the state, including for state employees. That means no vaccine requirements, no mask mandates, no social distancing, and no testing.

Larry thinks Climate Change is a myth and so are the dangers of second-hand smoke. Larry wants to ban all abortions in California. He thinks cops should be allowed to use chokeholds.

Larry wants to get rid of the minimum wage entirely and says there is no gender-pay gap. He doesn’t believe there is workplace discrimination against women but there should be. If a woman plans to have children, Larry thinks her employer should be allowed to discriminate against her.

Larry has a hard time with women. He said, “Women know less than men about political issues, economics, and current events.” Displaying that famous Republican humor, Larry said “PMS” stands for “punish my spouse.” He probably thinks it’s punishment if his spouse won’t get a tattoo of “Larry’s girl.” He said all the women who participated in the 2017 Women’s March were “obese.”

Larry wants to abolish the IRS and the corporate tax rate. He believes we should get reduce government by 80 percent and that the federal government takes 50 percent of everyone’s income through mandates.

Also, he’s good buddies with Stephen Baby Goebbels Miller.

Larry Elder is bad news for California. This guy shouldn’t even have a platform on syndicated radio less enough a shot at the governorship. A lot of whack jobs are running in the recall election, but this one might actually have a chance.

If you’re in California, vote “NO” on the recall. Reject the recall…and reject the black face on white supremacy. Personally, I think Larry should get a tattoo saying, “KKK’s Bitch.”

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon on this site is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403. I can mail the prints directly to you or if you’re purchasing as a gift, directly to the person you’re gifting.

Notes on my book, Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are FIVE copies of my book in stock, which go for $45.00 each, signed. Also, I have copies of my first book from 1997, Knee-Deep in Mississippi available for $20.00.

Tip Jar: if you want to support the cartoonist, please send a donation through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 9103, Fredericksburg, VA 22403.

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Hot Drop Box


cjones10182020

The Republicans are cheating again. What do you mean you’re not surprised? There are two things Republicans do very well. Cheat and accuse others of cheating.

Donald Trump screams that Ukraine helped Hillary Clinton in 2016 while the undisputed fact is he was helped greatly by Russia. I don’t believe Donald Trump would be president (sic) today if Russia didn’t meddle into our election. Donald Trump has even claimed Russia favored Clinton in that election. That’s like claiming she’s the one who keeps sending Quarter Pounders to the White House.

During the 2020 election, Republicans are wailing about China and Iran helping Joe Biden, which they may be doing to some degree, while ignoring that the greatest meddler is once again Russia…in favor of Donald Trump. The Attorney General, William Barr, even went on CNN and without any proof, said China is the greater threat in this election. But then again, William Barr is Donald Trump’s personal butt poodle.

Here’s a lesson in Voting 101, kids: Don’t vote for the candidate endorsed by Russia. It’s a simple voting primer that a lot of people don’t seem to understand…or care about.

Republicans also claim Democrats are tampering with ballots. Every time some Democratic operative gets caught messing with ballot applications, they ignore the word “application” and they ignore North Carolina. What happened in North Carolina? Eight people were indicted on charges related to tampering with ballots, not applications, to help a Republican in the 2018 midterm congressional elections.

These Republicans complaining about voter fraud are the same people who warn us about gay culture while also drilling glory holes in men’s rooms at airports and truck stops.

After the 2016 election, in which Donald Trump was a sore winner, he claimed millions of people voted illegally without any proof. He created an election commission to investigate this alleged voter fraud that was really a project to collect voter data, possibly to harass or discover whom to invalidate in the future. The commission demanded every state to turn over all its voter information, such as addresses for every voter in the nation. The commission was quietly disbanded after being unable to find any evidence that millions had voted illegally. All they left behind were offices with men’s rooms full of glory holes.

During the 2018 election, Republicans worked to invalidate college voters in Texas, Native American voters in North Dakota, and black voters in Georgia. In Georgia, the Republican running for governor was the same guy responsible for operating a safe and fair election. What did he do? He removed thousands of black voters from the voter rolls. Guess what happened next. He won the election. Surprise! Who woulda seen that coming?

I’m surprised I haven’t heard the Republicans argue they wouldn’t have to engage in so much voter suppression if all these minorities wouldn’t keep trying to vote.

President Barack Obama pointed out yesterday that even the far right in Europe doesn’t work to suppress the vote. We are the only Democratic nation that discourages voting. Seriously. Keep in mind, voting is your constitutional right. No party or elected official should be able to take away that right.

In Florida, a state run by Republicans, ruled that felons can’t restore their constitutional right to vote until they’ve paid off their fines. Enter Democratic billionaire Michael Bloomberg who is paying off thousands of these fines. Republicans are now accusing him of buying the votes while ignoring that they literally enacted a poll tax.

As we head to this election, Trump and Republicans are doing all they can to suppress the vote. And if they can’t suppress it, they’re planting seeds of doubt.

They rail against mail-in ballots except in states where Republicans control the election (like Florida). Seriously. Donald Trump has said if he doesn’t win, then the election was corrupt. Republicans are fighting in state courts across the nation trying to invalidate any ballots that arrive after election day, even if they’re postmarked on election day. How can you tell Republicans were in court? The court’s men’s rooms are full of glory holes.

Personally, I think if our tax filings can arrive after the due date as long as they’re postmarked by it, then we can do the same with our ballots.

Donald Trump has even planted a goon to run the post office in efforts to tamper with mail-in ballots.

We’re worried the United States Postal Service can’t deliver fewer than 138 million ballots between now and the election, while they deliver nearly 900 million packages between Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Donald Trump has been so successful at planting seeds of doubts, that even liberals are afraid to put a stamp on their ballot and stick it in the mail. I applied for a mail-in ballot and even after I received it, I took it to an official drop box at the registrar’s office just because I got paranoid that Donald Trump was fucking with the mail. And I live in a blue state.

I’m really glad I used an official drop box for my ballot. At least I think I did. It was in front of the registrar’s office and not in front of a gun store.

Yeah, in California, one party has set up phony drop boxes to fuck with voters. I’ll give you a hint in which party is doing this chicanery in that the party doing it is not the Democratic Party. Some of these are in locations like gun stores, gas stations, churches, and even GOP offices. Some of these are marked as “official” state drop boxes when they’re not. They’re also not complying with state-required security features.

The thing is, in California, ballot harvesting is legal. What’s ballot harvesting? It’s what the Republican fuckers in North Carolina was doing. It’s where you grab a bunch of ballots and you turn them in. It’s something Republicans complain about while doing. And in case you’re a Republican, I’ll explain it to you more simply. It’s like a glory hole harvesting penises, but with ballots.

The Republican Party says it’s on the up-and-up yet they won’t say how many of these ballot boxes there are or how many. Also, the state has sent them a cease-and-desist letter and they’ve replied, “no.” They will not cease. They will not desist. They will continue to harvest ballots while complaining about harvesting ballots.

Once again, Republicans are lying hypocritical cheating fuckers.

And in Texas, they’re reducing the number of ballot drop boxes to one per county, no matter how large the county is. So, in California, Republicans are creating more drop boxes (all unofficial) to confuse people and in Texas, they’re reducing the number of “official” drop boxes to confuse people.

To sum up, let’s go over a few tips:

  1. Don’t vote for the candidate endorsed by Russians. 2. Don’t drop your ballot off at a gas station. If you’re not going to trust the sushi, don’t trust Gomer and Goober with your ballot. 3. Vote in person or drop your ballot off AT the registrar’s office because of number 4 which is… 4. Don’t trust Republicans. 5. If there’s a hole in your bathroom stall…run.

Republicans can’t win this election fairly. They know this because they didn’t win the last one fairly. Republicans cheat, lie, and steal. And if we allow it, they’ll steal this election.

Don’t let them steal your vote. Don’t let them steal this election. Don’t let them steal our White House which, by now…is probably full of glory holes.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

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He Blinded Me With Stupid


cjones09172020

Donald Trump is not a person who relies on facts. And a person who doesn’t rely on facts typically doesn’t believe in science. A humble person will admit to what they don’t know and listen to experts. Donald Trump will tell people who have spent their entire lives studying a subject, and without having any knowledge of it himself, tell them they’re wrong. Donald Trump is not a humble person. He doesn’t even know what it is not to know.

While speaking to the governor of California, Gavin Newsom, and other government officials, Trump argued against climate change. After weeks of silence about the wildfires in the western part of the nation, Donald Trump said, “I don’t think science knows what is happening.” Yeah, science is the confused one here.

Donald Trump doesn’t believe in climate change and has claimed it’s a hoax created by China. He’s not good with science…or knowing stuff in general.

After being handed special sunglasses and told not to stare into an eclipse, Donald Trump stared into an eclipse. If it burned out any brain cells, we’ll never notice.

Donald Trump asked about nuking a hurricane. He tried to change the direction of a hurricane with a Sharpie. He ordered government scientists to lie about the direction of a hurricane so it would jive with his mad Sharpie ninja skills.

Donald Trump asked if there was a way to cure people with covid-19 by drinking bleach. He’s touted other bogus remedies.

He thinks our government has invisible airplanes…or maybe we do and that’s another national security secret he exposed.

He thinks liberal lightbulbs make him appear orange…and it’s not his three inches of orange makeup.

He believes windmills cause cancer.

And with wildfires, he believes the lack of raking forests is a bigger cause than climate change.

Sure, we need better management of forests, (most of those being burned right now are on federal property…which Trump heads), but climate change is a very real factor, and science knows it.

Raking the forests doesn’t have anything to do with extreme weather. Having a rake won’t change the direction of the wind. It won’t make the air less dry. Rakes don’t stop hurricanes, droughts, flooding, tornadoes, a even a giant orange cloud smothering our nation.

Donald Trump promises the fires would decrease as it’s about to get cooler. He also promises the coronavirus would magically disappear by Easter. Today, there are nearly 195,000 dead from the virus…the Trump Virus. We can call the wildfires “Trump Fires.”

Joe Biden called Donald Trump a “climate arsonist” yesterday. Donald Trump pulled our nation out of the Paris Climate Accord, so yeah. He’s a climate arsonist.

The most science Donald Trump understands is that he knows he doesn’t want you to sneeze on him. Other than that, Trump doesn’t care if the world burns. Just give him eight more years.

Tip Jar: This pandemic is hitting everyone, including your favorite goofy cartoonist. I have lost clients and I’m afraid I might lose more. The PayPal button has always been included here for those who can and want to voluntarily support what I do. I understand this time is hard on everyone. If you can’t, don’t contribute. Take care of yourself and your family first. But, all and any help is greatly appreciated and it helps keep me going. Think of me like a street performer busking out tunes on a corner (I won’t play “Wonderwall.” I promise). If you like the tune, or in this case, toon, throw a buck into the tip jar. It’ll help me play another song, draw another toon, write another blog, make another video, and post another snarky post on social media. It’ll help keep me alive. You can also order a signed print for $40. And if you don’t like the PayPal option, you can snail mail it to my P.O. Box.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From the Trumpster Fire

Watch me draw.

Trump’s California Dreaming


cjones11212018

Donald Trump is going to California. Sorry, California.

Trump is very bitter toward California because they didn’t vote for him and it’s ground zero for The Resistance. Their governor doesn’t like Trump. Their two senators don’t like Trump. And now, Orange County, which was the bastion for Reagan conservatism, will be represented in Congress entirely by Democrats.

California is burning as wildfires have claimed the lives of at least 71 people. Over 1,000 are missing. Trump’s first response to this was to tweet a dig at California, blaming the state’s forest management for causing the fires, which of course is wrong.

One woman living in a shelter told the BBC, “If you insult people, then you go visit them, how do you think you’re going to be accepted? You’re not going to have a parade.” That’s sad because Trump really likes parades. What he hates is rain.

Trump flew to France to commemorate the 100th anniversary marking the end of World War One and then skipped a ceremony at a cemetery for American veterans because…it was raining. He also refused to walk with European leaders and allies in the rain. Later in the day while giving a speech to veterans, he complained about having to stand in the rain. When he came home, he skipped going to Arlington National Cemetery on Veterans Day.

What California needs desperately at this time is rain, to drench the wildfires and to keep away Donald Trump.

Be Complicit
What kind of person would want to be part of something that disparages, slanders, and disrespects Dear Leader and his sycophantic followers? Hopefully, you. 
Making a contribution supports my work and keeps the cartoons, columns, and videos coming. My income is from newspapers that subscribe to my work and small contributors. George Soros hasn’t sent me a million dollar check in weeks. Making a contribution of any amount, or buying a print for $40.00, makes you part of this specific resistance, and a member of Team Claytoonz (we’re still working on the name). You are complicit, an accomplice, and in cahoots (and whatever gangster terms we can think of) with this political satire pointing out that the stupid emperor has no clothes. Contributions can be made through PayPal, checks, and wads of cash exchanged in back alleys.
Whether you can help support, can’t, or just choose not to, please continue to enjoy and keep reading my work. Thank you!!! 

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California Shaming


cjones03122018

If you don’t know what song I’m spoofing here, get off my blog.

Jeff Sessions went to California, held a press conference and said, “California, we have a problem.” The Attorney General and Justice Department are suing the state of California over so-called sanctuary cities. This is a lawsuit with an audience of one, Donald Trump.

Sessions has been on Trump’s hit list of late as the president has been bullying the AG on Twitter for the Russia investigation and conspiracy theories the Justice Department has not been investigating. So, going after California shows Trump that Sessions is still that elfish Alabama racist he has always known and loved, and it’s red meat for the Trump base.

Unfortunately for Sessions, each point in his fight against California is bogus.

The state passed three laws Sessions and Trump hate. One limits state and local agencies’ ability to share information about criminals or suspects with federal immigration officers unless they have been convicted of a serious crime. Another bars local businesses from allowing Immigration and Customs Enforcement to examine employee records without a court order or a subpoena. The third gives California the right to inspect immigration detention centers within the states.

Trump, Sessions, and other Republicans have perpetuated a myth that undocumented immigrants in sanctuary cities are free from arrest, detention, or deportation. That’s just not true.

the first law, where the state doesn’t share information with federal immigration officers unless the suspect has committed a serious crime, just makes sense. First off, local law enforcement is not supposed to do the work of immigration officers. Second, by sharing information from every undocumented immigrant with the feds, then no immigrant will ever want to cooperate with police. Do you want witnesses to crimes or would you rather everyone hide when the police drive by? The Justice Department is suing the state for not doing ICE’s job.

The second law prohibits employers from giving ICE the records of their employees unless they have a warrant. Shouldn’t that be the law anyway? As usual, Republicans are two-faced when it comes to warrants. They believe the feds should be able to break down your door and go through your records without a warrant. But, they don’t want the FBI to legally acquire warrants to run a surveillance operation on a suspected Russian spy who is a member of the Trump campaign. Brown immigrants are bad while Russian spies are, what Russian spies?

That law is about state rights which is something that Sessions, being an old Keebler cracker from Alabama, should know something about. He’s made the state-rights argument plenty of times himself.

The third law allows the state to oversee federal detention centers. That makes sense, as there have been several cases of immigrants abused at these facilities nationwide. California has a better track record of treating undocumented immigrants as human beings than ICE, which has been on a joy ride of late separating families.

Trump and company have been scapegoating immigrants and describing them as gangsters. Now they’re attempting the same with California because they know they’ll never win California and believe they have nothing to lose.

But, Sessions and Trump also have a poor track record in the courts. I’m sure their fight with California will continue their track record.

Here’s the video.

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Wildfire


cjones10152017

As at least 20 wildfires rage in California, killing 35 so far, Donald Trump is gutting Obama’s Climate Change policy (along with everything else Obama initiated during his term. More on that with my next cartoon). While Trump has issued a disaster declaration for the Golden state, Californians will probably have to issue huge compliments and gratitude for Cheetolini to do more.

Thousands of homes have been lost to the fires, including the Santa Rosa home to one of my heroes, Peanuts creator Charles Schulz.

When it comes to disasters, Trump is picking and choosing which Americans he wants to receive aid. While Texas, Florida and Puerto Rico are also recovering from hurricanes, Trump is issuing threats to the territory that we can’t stay there forever, as if it’s a foreign nation we’re occupying.

Trump is also picking and choosing which parts of his oath of office he plans to keep.

Donald Trump recited the oath of office which states, “I do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States.” Donald Trump said those words, but they apparently don’t mean anything to him.

Trump is concerned with people disrespecting the flag of the United States and the National Anthem (unless it’s Kid Rock wearing the flag as a diaper. He gets invited to the White House). He has said that people can’t disrespect those. Much like the stock market and the national debt (which Trump said last week, one will pay off the other), he doesn’t understand the United States Constitution…or the fact he’s sworn to protect it.

Trump loves the flag controversy. It helps him further divide this nation and it allows him to continue to be president only for the low-information rubes who support him. There is no actual danger to this nation if someone disrespects a flag, a song you don’t know all the words to, or even our military (which has not technically fought for American freedom since the Civil War). It’s red meat for stupid religious zealots, like vowing we’re going to start saying “merry Christmas” again, which must be a secret ban Obama implemented. I can’t find any information on that, no matter how hard I search.

A rhetorical question I posed on Twitter a few days ago to Trump sycophants was: “what’s worse? Disrespecting the flag or the U.S. Constitution?” Violating one of those actually endangers our freedom, and it’s not the flag.

What is frightening as hell is that we have a president, who idolizes authoritarian figures, who is disregarding the parts of the Constitution he doesn’t like.

Trump says people can’t disrespect the flag. Yes, they can. It’s protected speech. The Constitution doesn’t say that only speech Donald J. Trump agrees with is allowed.

While every president has issues with the press, Trump has been in a constant love/hate relationship with it for his entire life. Lately, he’s focusing on the hate.

Upset at a report that he wanted to increase our nuclear arsenal (because he doesn’t understand treaties either), he blasted NBC. Trump tweeted, “with all of the Fake News coming out of NBC and the Networks, at what point is it appropriate to challenge their License? Bad for country!” He also wondered out loud why the Senate Intelligence Committee wasn’t looking into the “fake news networks.”

Wednesday, Trump said, “it is frankly disgusting the way the press is able to write whatever they want to write, and people should look into it.” Guess what, you walking mango. I looked into it. Yes, the press pretty much can write whatever they want to write. It’s how Trump’s favorite publications, The National Enquirer, Breitbart, InfoWars, and Fox News can spread made-up bullshit for Trump to help disseminate.

First off, there is not a license for news network, no more than there are licenses for journalists (including political cartoonists). Individual stations are licensed, but not networks. The Federal Communications Commission (FCC) does not regulate content. This isn’t Nazi Germany, or present-day North Korea, or Cuba, or Azerbaijan, or China, or Russia, or Iran, or Saudi Arabia, or Egypt, or Turkey, or Uzbekistan, etc.

Second, freedom of the press is guaranteed by the First Amendment. If you’re a Trump voter, that’s the very first one in the Constitution. Our Founding Fathers thought it was kinda important. Trump might have autocratic fantasies about ditching parts of the Constitution that he and his stupid base don’t care about, or have never bothered to read, but he has sworn to defend it.

Similar to how you can’t choose which American citizens are worthy enough to receive disaster relief, and which are not, you can’t pick which parts of the Constitution you swear to defend. I know the Second Amendment is the only one you get a boner for, but you might want to look into the others.

When it comes to people who kneel during a song and people who want to violate the United States Constitution, only one of those groups should have their patriotism questioned (hint: It’s not the protesters).

Did you know that in addition to protecting the press and protesters, the First Amendment also allows you to practice whichever religion you fundamentalist zealots choose? Also, it prevents anyone from stopping you from saying “merry Christmas.”

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Nazis Got The Blues


cjones06272016

I hate Illinois Nazis.

I had the Peter Gunn Theme in my head the entire time I was drawing this, despite watching The Big Lebowski at the same time. Maybe I should have been watching another movie but none come to mind.

A bunch of neo-Nazi shite nationalists held a rally in Sacramento and they were lovingly greeted by a group of counter protesters. Within 20 minutes at least seven people had been stabbed, nine were hospitalized and many more suffered bruises, scrapes and cuts. Liberals and Nazis can’t get along in a free exchange of ideas. Who could have seen that coming?

The Traditionalist Worker Party, who the Southern Poverty Law Center identifies as a hate group, advocates for a white nationalist homeland. They did have a permit for the rally.

While a lot of conservatives along with Donald Trump openly encourages violence, liberals usually give the impression they’re pacifist. Not always. One of the groups confronting the hate group is called “By Any Means Necessary.” I’ve seen a lot of posts on social media lately where liberals “jokingly” wish death and violence upon conservatives. If it wasn’t so lame I’d click the frowny face button. Hell, I read words from Bernie Sanders’ supporters wishing very nasty things to happen to Hillary Clinton.

It amazes me that people don’t realize that violence, or even condoning violence, doesn’t help their argument. It never helps. They always find a way to justify it, usually with the weak excuse that their target is a special case and deserves it.

No. What people with bad and horrible agendas deserve is to have their ideas rejected and live a full and healthy life full of grumpiness and hatred while they watch the world progress around them. In your face, haters!

While Jake and Elwood might want to chase Nazis into the Calumet river with a souped-up 1974 Dodge Monaco with a “440 Magnum” engine with an inoperable cigarette lighter that was previously a Mount Pleasant police car that Elwood purchased at an auction after trading the previous Cadillac Bluesmobile for a microphone, I doubt they’d actually want to physically hurt anyone.

Even Illinois Nazis. They really hated Illinois Nazis.

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Trump’s Knight Riot


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Ted Cruz picked up an endorsement on Friday that Donald Trump was coveting. Cruz picked up the endorsement of Indiana governor Mike Pence. They celebrated with a cake bought from a homophobic bakery. I made that last part up. I don’t think that happened.

Turns out the endorsement was kind of a “meh” endorsement. Pence, who does not want to anger Trump voters while he himself faces reelection, started his little spiel on the radio talking about the greatness of Donald Trump. He then said he was voting for Cruz but didn’t want to tell anyone else who to vote for.

I would hate to have a job reference like that. Yeah, hire him or not. The other candidates are good too and didn’t I tell you how much I like the other one? With friends likes these…

Trump has picked up a lot of endorsements. He got the wacky, incomprehensible endorsement of Sarah Palin. We think. He got the endorsement from the senator of Alabama, the super conservative Richard Shelby. He got one from a former rival and sitting governor, Chris Christie, who while not destroying New Jersey goes on the campaign trail with Trump. Trump got the endorsement from convicted rapist Mike Tyson who refers to the candidate as “Donald Thrump.”

The really positive endorsement that could help him in Indiana, and is probably more powerful than getting one from the gay-hating governor, is from Bobby Knight, former basketball coach of the University of Indiana.

Trump’s rallies have attracted violence. Trump himself has encouraged the violence. Now, in addition to the wife-beater and rapist Tyson, he gets Bob Knight, who was accused of choking one of his players, roughing up others, and famously throwing chairs while having a temper tantrum.

Those riot police are going to be busy. There were huge protests in Costa Mesa and Burlingame, both in California, Thursday and Friday. The one in Burlingame, in particular, became very hostile with many people being wounded as protesters blocked the road, stormed the hotel where Trump was speaking, blocked the entrance, and forced organizers to dig a tunnel for Trump to enter the hotel. I made that last part up. But if they had dug a tunnel, it would have been huge, cheaply made, the greatest ever, and built by Mexicans.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Pray For This Deranged Cartoon


cjones12042015

The Republicans have been screaming about “Radical Islamic Terrorism” for a long time now. Meanwhile, they ignore greater threats. Yes. Greater threats, like Climate Change or non-Muslim Americans killing other Americans.

They were real slow in responding to a white guy shooting up a Planned Parenthood clinic. Why? Several reasons but the main ones being, they are waging a Smear campaign against Planned Parenthood, the shooter is white, the shooter is a Christian, and mostly because the shooter shares a lot of their core values.

They almost tripped over each other to respond to the shooting in San Bernardino. That’s because the shooter is Muslim and he’s brown.

The Colorado shooting by a white, Christian, Fundamentalist occurred on a Wednesday. The GOP candidates waited until Saturday to make statements. It’s been one day since the California shooting by a brown Muslim and the candidates have spoken. Let’s compare.

Ted Cruz on Colorado: Praying for the loved ones of those killed, those injured & first responders who bravely got the situation under control in Colorado Springs. He also referred to the shooter as a “transgender liberal activist.”

Ted Cruz on California:  “all of us are deeply concerned that this is yet another manifestation of terrorism, radical Islamic terrorism here at home.”

Mike Huckabee on Colorado: “It was mass murder,” he said. “It was absolutely unfathomable, and there’s no excuse for killing other people whether it’s happening inside the Planned Parent headquarters, inside their clinics where many millions of babies die or whether it’s people attacking Planned Parenthood.”

Mike Huckabee on California: “There were always two “common denominators” for mass murders in the country: “One: A mentally unstable person. Two: A gun-free zone. And those seem to be the common denominators.”

Carly Fiornia on Colorado: “Any protesters should always be peaceful, whether it’s Black Lives Matter or pro-life protesters. What I would say to anyone who tries to link this terrible tragedy to anyone who opposes abortion or opposes the sale of body parts is, this is typical left-wing tactics,”

Carly Fiornia on California: “If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck and sounds like a duck, maybe it’s a duck.”

John Kasich on Colorado: Senseless violence has brought tragedy to Colorado Springs. I pray for the families in mourning and have hope our nation can heal

John Kasich on California: “There can be no doubt that this is an effort to destroy our very way of life.”

Ben Carson on Colorado: “Unfortunately, there’s a lot of extremism coming from all areas. ”

Ben Carson on California: “Look at all the things that are going on around the world. ISIS and groups like this. Just hatred and evil.”

Marco Rubio on Colorado: “we’re focusing too much on what it is people are using to commit violence, and not enough on why it is that people are committing violence.”

Marco Rubio on California: “We must not separate the threat to Jerusalem and Tel Aviv from the threat to Paris or London or New York or Miami.”

Donald Trump on Colorado: “I will tell you, there is a tremendous group of people that think it’s terrible, all of the videos that they’ve seen with some of these people from Planned Parenthood talking about it like you’re selling parts to a car.”

Donald Trump on California: “Radical Islamic terrorism. Take a look. I mean, you look at the names.” He then went on to criticize Obama for not using the term “radical Islamic terrorism.”

Chris Christie on Colorado: I can’t find anything but he probably offered a prayer. He did have a tiff earlier this year over Colorado’s pot law. Maybe he felt a comment would be awkward.

Chris Christie on California: “We need to come to grips with the idea that we are in the midst of the next world war.” He also said it was the “first” terrorist attack on U.S. soil since 9/11. I guess he doesn’t consider any gun violence terrorism and didn’t read a newspaper the week of the Boston Marathon bombing.

Jeb Bush on Colorado: “There is no acceptable explanation for this violence,and I will continue to pray for those who have been impacted.”

Jeb Bush on California: Praying for the victims, their families & the San Bernardino first responders in the wake of this tragic shooting.

The Republican main brand is fair and this is another opportunity for them to sell that. Toward a solution, all the candidates have are prayers and a rush to hate Muslims. Neither is helpful or a solution to Americans shooting Americans. The New York Daily News is catching a lot of heat for illustrating as much on their front page. But praying while adding nothing else doesn’t change anything. Go ahead and pray for people. Despite some conservatives acting wounded over the prayer criticism, it’s not enough.  Isn’t it just like conservatives to play victims over praying being criticized after 14 people were just killed?

How about in ADDITION to prayers (I said “in addition” you overly sensitive cry babies), proposing some solutions? How about actual legislation other than another bill to defund Obamacare?

Focusing on prayers and Islam isn’t stopping gun violence. Remaining silent over one shooting and taking a political advantage over another isn’t helping either.

The solution is fewer guns. Fewer guns for you. Fewer guns for me. And most importantly, fewer guns for bad guns. Seriously, it’s all empty rhetoric if you aren’t helping to keep guns away from terrorists, whether they’re domestic, foreign, Christian, or Islamic.

House Speaker Paul Ryan is against not selling guns to people on no-fly lists. We don’t have a problem leaving a douchenozzle stranded in Wichita but we better not violate his civil rights by making him wait on purchasing a gun. This guy is the leader of Congressional Republicans. We’re in trouble. It’s also weird how Republican concerns over Constitutional rights are absent over issues such as hmmm…I don’t know….voting?

There are too many guns. That’s the foundation to this problem. Obama is doing a terrible job of rounding up all our guns before the U.N. invasion. I swear I’m not voting for that guy again.