California

California Shaming


cjones03122018

If you don’t know what song I’m spoofing here, get off my blog.

Jeff Sessions went to California, held a press conference and said, “California, we have a problem.” The Attorney General and Justice Department are suing the state of California over so-called sanctuary cities. This is a lawsuit with an audience of one, Donald Trump.

Sessions has been on Trump’s hit list of late as the president has been bullying the AG on Twitter for the Russia investigation and conspiracy theories the Justice Department has not been investigating. So, going after California shows Trump that Sessions is still that elfish Alabama racist he has always known and loved, and it’s red meat for the Trump base.

Unfortunately for Sessions, each point in his fight against California is bogus.

The state passed three laws Sessions and Trump hate. One limits state and local agencies’ ability to share information about criminals or suspects with federal immigration officers unless they have been convicted of a serious crime. Another bars local businesses from allowing Immigration and Customs Enforcement to examine employee records without a court order or a subpoena. The third gives California the right to inspect immigration detention centers within the states.

Trump, Sessions, and other Republicans have perpetuated a myth that undocumented immigrants in sanctuary cities are free from arrest, detention, or deportation. That’s just not true.

the first law, where the state doesn’t share information with federal immigration officers unless the suspect has committed a serious crime, just makes sense. First off, local law enforcement is not supposed to do the work of immigration officers. Second, by sharing information from every undocumented immigrant with the feds, then no immigrant will ever want to cooperate with police. Do you want witnesses to crimes or would you rather everyone hide when the police drive by? The Justice Department is suing the state for not doing ICE’s job.

The second law prohibits employers from giving ICE the records of their employees unless they have a warrant. Shouldn’t that be the law anyway? As usual, Republicans are two-faced when it comes to warrants. They believe the feds should be able to break down your door and go through your records without a warrant. But, they don’t want the FBI to legally acquire warrants to run a surveillance operation on a suspected Russian spy who is a member of the Trump campaign. Brown immigrants are bad while Russian spies are, what Russian spies?

That law is about state rights which is something that Sessions, being an old Keebler cracker from Alabama, should know something about. He’s made the state-rights argument plenty of times himself.

The third law allows the state to oversee federal detention centers. That makes sense, as there have been several cases of immigrants abused at these facilities nationwide. California has a better track record of treating undocumented immigrants as human beings than ICE, which has been on a joy ride of late separating families.

Trump and company have been scapegoating immigrants and describing them as gangsters. Now they’re attempting the same with California because they know they’ll never win California and believe they have nothing to lose.

But, Sessions and Trump also have a poor track record in the courts. I’m sure their fight with California will continue their track record.

Here’s the video.

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Wildfire


cjones10152017

As at least 20 wildfires rage in California, killing 35 so far, Donald Trump is gutting Obama’s Climate Change policy (along with everything else Obama initiated during his term. More on that with my next cartoon). While Trump has issued a disaster declaration for the Golden state, Californians will probably have to issue huge compliments and gratitude for Cheetolini to do more.

Thousands of homes have been lost to the fires, including the Santa Rosa home to one of my heroes, Peanuts creator Charles Schulz.

When it comes to disasters, Trump is picking and choosing which Americans he wants to receive aid. While Texas, Florida and Puerto Rico are also recovering from hurricanes, Trump is issuing threats to the territory that we can’t stay there forever, as if it’s a foreign nation we’re occupying.

Trump is also picking and choosing which parts of his oath of office he plans to keep.

Donald Trump recited the oath of office which states, “I do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States.” Donald Trump said those words, but they apparently don’t mean anything to him.

Trump is concerned with people disrespecting the flag of the United States and the National Anthem (unless it’s Kid Rock wearing the flag as a diaper. He gets invited to the White House). He has said that people can’t disrespect those. Much like the stock market and the national debt (which Trump said last week, one will pay off the other), he doesn’t understand the United States Constitution…or the fact he’s sworn to protect it.

Trump loves the flag controversy. It helps him further divide this nation and it allows him to continue to be president only for the low-information rubes who support him. There is no actual danger to this nation if someone disrespects a flag, a song you don’t know all the words to, or even our military (which has not technically fought for American freedom since the Civil War). It’s red meat for stupid religious zealots, like vowing we’re going to start saying “merry Christmas” again, which must be a secret ban Obama implemented. I can’t find any information on that, no matter how hard I search.

A rhetorical question I posed on Twitter a few days ago to Trump sycophants was: “what’s worse? Disrespecting the flag or the U.S. Constitution?” Violating one of those actually endangers our freedom, and it’s not the flag.

What is frightening as hell is that we have a president, who idolizes authoritarian figures, who is disregarding the parts of the Constitution he doesn’t like.

Trump says people can’t disrespect the flag. Yes, they can. It’s protected speech. The Constitution doesn’t say that only speech Donald J. Trump agrees with is allowed.

While every president has issues with the press, Trump has been in a constant love/hate relationship with it for his entire life. Lately, he’s focusing on the hate.

Upset at a report that he wanted to increase our nuclear arsenal (because he doesn’t understand treaties either), he blasted NBC. Trump tweeted, “with all of the Fake News coming out of NBC and the Networks, at what point is it appropriate to challenge their License? Bad for country!” He also wondered out loud why the Senate Intelligence Committee wasn’t looking into the “fake news networks.”

Wednesday, Trump said, “it is frankly disgusting the way the press is able to write whatever they want to write, and people should look into it.” Guess what, you walking mango. I looked into it. Yes, the press pretty much can write whatever they want to write. It’s how Trump’s favorite publications, The National Enquirer, Breitbart, InfoWars, and Fox News can spread made-up bullshit for Trump to help disseminate.

First off, there is not a license for news network, no more than there are licenses for journalists (including political cartoonists). Individual stations are licensed, but not networks. The Federal Communications Commission (FCC) does not regulate content. This isn’t Nazi Germany, or present-day North Korea, or Cuba, or Azerbaijan, or China, or Russia, or Iran, or Saudi Arabia, or Egypt, or Turkey, or Uzbekistan, etc.

Second, freedom of the press is guaranteed by the First Amendment. If you’re a Trump voter, that’s the very first one in the Constitution. Our Founding Fathers thought it was kinda important. Trump might have autocratic fantasies about ditching parts of the Constitution that he and his stupid base don’t care about, or have never bothered to read, but he has sworn to defend it.

Similar to how you can’t choose which American citizens are worthy enough to receive disaster relief, and which are not, you can’t pick which parts of the Constitution you swear to defend. I know the Second Amendment is the only one you get a boner for, but you might want to look into the others.

When it comes to people who kneel during a song and people who want to violate the United States Constitution, only one of those groups should have their patriotism questioned (hint: It’s not the protesters).

Did you know that in addition to protecting the press and protesters, the First Amendment also allows you to practice whichever religion you fundamentalist zealots choose? Also, it prevents anyone from stopping you from saying “merry Christmas.”

I want to thank everyone who has donated in the past. Your support helps me continue creating cartoons and columns with a little less stress in my life. Between competing syndicates with much larger resources, timid editors, and Trump supporters who attempt to intimidate the editors who do publish anything that criticizes their idol, it’s a challenge to make a career out of this. So your support (if you can) is appreciated. Want to help me continue to create cartoons and keep doing what I’m doing (pissing off conservatives)? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through PayPal. Every $40 donation will receive a signed print. All donations will receive my eternal gratitude.

Nazis Got The Blues


cjones06272016

I hate Illinois Nazis.

I had the Peter Gunn Theme in my head the entire time I was drawing this, despite watching The Big Lebowski at the same time. Maybe I should have been watching another movie but none come to mind.

A bunch of neo-Nazi shite nationalists held a rally in Sacramento and they were lovingly greeted by a group of counter protesters. Within 20 minutes at least seven people had been stabbed, nine were hospitalized and many more suffered bruises, scrapes and cuts. Liberals and Nazis can’t get along in a free exchange of ideas. Who could have seen that coming?

The Traditionalist Worker Party, who the Southern Poverty Law Center identifies as a hate group, advocates for a white nationalist homeland. They did have a permit for the rally.

While a lot of conservatives along with Donald Trump openly encourages violence, liberals usually give the impression they’re pacifist. Not always. One of the groups confronting the hate group is called “By Any Means Necessary.” I’ve seen a lot of posts on social media lately where liberals “jokingly” wish death and violence upon conservatives. If it wasn’t so lame I’d click the frowny face button. Hell, I read words from Bernie Sanders’ supporters wishing very nasty things to happen to Hillary Clinton.

It amazes me that people don’t realize that violence, or even condoning violence, doesn’t help their argument. It never helps. They always find a way to justify it, usually with the weak excuse that their target is a special case and deserves it.

No. What people with bad and horrible agendas deserve is to have their ideas rejected and live a full and healthy life full of grumpiness and hatred while they watch the world progress around them. In your face, haters!

While Jake and Elwood might want to chase Nazis into the Calumet river with a souped-up 1974 Dodge Monaco with a “440 Magnum” engine with an inoperable cigarette lighter that was previously a Mount Pleasant police car that Elwood purchased at an auction after trading the previous Cadillac Bluesmobile for a microphone, I doubt they’d actually want to physically hurt anyone.

Even Illinois Nazis. They really hated Illinois Nazis.

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Trump’s Knight Riot


cjones05012016

Ted Cruz picked up an endorsement on Friday that Donald Trump was coveting. Cruz picked up the endorsement of Indiana governor Mike Pence. They celebrated with a cake bought from a homophobic bakery. I made that last part up. I don’t think that happened.

Turns out the endorsement was kind of a “meh” endorsement. Pence, who does not want to anger Trump voters while he himself faces reelection, started his little spiel on the radio talking about the greatness of Donald Trump. He then said he was voting for Cruz but didn’t want to tell anyone else who to vote for.

I would hate to have a job reference like that. Yeah, hire him or not. The other candidates are good too and didn’t I tell you how much I like the other one? With friends likes these…

Trump has picked up a lot of endorsements. He got the wacky, incomprehensible endorsement of Sarah Palin. We think. He got the endorsement from the senator of Alabama, the super conservative Richard Shelby. He got one from a former rival and sitting governor, Chris Christie, who while not destroying New Jersey goes on the campaign trail with Trump. Trump got the endorsement from convicted rapist Mike Tyson who refers to the candidate as “Donald Thrump.”

The really positive endorsement that could help him in Indiana, and is probably more powerful than getting one from the gay-hating governor, is from Bobby Knight, former basketball coach of the University of Indiana.

Trump’s rallies have attracted violence. Trump himself has encouraged the violence. Now, in addition to the wife-beater and rapist Tyson, he gets Bob Knight, who was accused of choking one of his players, roughing up others, and famously throwing chairs while having a temper tantrum.

Those riot police are going to be busy. There were huge protests in Costa Mesa and Burlingame, both in California, Thursday and Friday. The one in Burlingame, in particular, became very hostile with many people being wounded as protesters blocked the road, stormed the hotel where Trump was speaking, blocked the entrance, and forced organizers to dig a tunnel for Trump to enter the hotel. I made that last part up. But if they had dug a tunnel, it would have been huge, cheaply made, the greatest ever, and built by Mexicans.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!

Pray For This Deranged Cartoon


cjones12042015

The Republicans have been screaming about “Radical Islamic Terrorism” for a long time now. Meanwhile, they ignore greater threats. Yes. Greater threats, like Climate Change or non-Muslim Americans killing other Americans.

They were real slow in responding to a white guy shooting up a Planned Parenthood clinic. Why? Several reasons but the main ones being, they are waging a Smear campaign against Planned Parenthood, the shooter is white, the shooter is a Christian, and mostly because the shooter shares a lot of their core values.

They almost tripped over each other to respond to the shooting in San Bernardino. That’s because the shooter is Muslim and he’s brown.

The Colorado shooting by a white, Christian, Fundamentalist occurred on a Wednesday. The GOP candidates waited until Saturday to make statements. It’s been one day since the California shooting by a brown Muslim and the candidates have spoken. Let’s compare.

Ted Cruz on Colorado: Praying for the loved ones of those killed, those injured & first responders who bravely got the situation under control in Colorado Springs. He also referred to the shooter as a “transgender liberal activist.”

Ted Cruz on California:  “all of us are deeply concerned that this is yet another manifestation of terrorism, radical Islamic terrorism here at home.”

Mike Huckabee on Colorado: “It was mass murder,” he said. “It was absolutely unfathomable, and there’s no excuse for killing other people whether it’s happening inside the Planned Parent headquarters, inside their clinics where many millions of babies die or whether it’s people attacking Planned Parenthood.”

Mike Huckabee on California: “There were always two “common denominators” for mass murders in the country: “One: A mentally unstable person. Two: A gun-free zone. And those seem to be the common denominators.”

Carly Fiornia on Colorado: “Any protesters should always be peaceful, whether it’s Black Lives Matter or pro-life protesters. What I would say to anyone who tries to link this terrible tragedy to anyone who opposes abortion or opposes the sale of body parts is, this is typical left-wing tactics,”

Carly Fiornia on California: “If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck and sounds like a duck, maybe it’s a duck.”

John Kasich on Colorado: Senseless violence has brought tragedy to Colorado Springs. I pray for the families in mourning and have hope our nation can heal

John Kasich on California: “There can be no doubt that this is an effort to destroy our very way of life.”

Ben Carson on Colorado: “Unfortunately, there’s a lot of extremism coming from all areas. ”

Ben Carson on California: “Look at all the things that are going on around the world. ISIS and groups like this. Just hatred and evil.”

Marco Rubio on Colorado: “we’re focusing too much on what it is people are using to commit violence, and not enough on why it is that people are committing violence.”

Marco Rubio on California: “We must not separate the threat to Jerusalem and Tel Aviv from the threat to Paris or London or New York or Miami.”

Donald Trump on Colorado: “I will tell you, there is a tremendous group of people that think it’s terrible, all of the videos that they’ve seen with some of these people from Planned Parenthood talking about it like you’re selling parts to a car.”

Donald Trump on California: “Radical Islamic terrorism. Take a look. I mean, you look at the names.” He then went on to criticize Obama for not using the term “radical Islamic terrorism.”

Chris Christie on Colorado: I can’t find anything but he probably offered a prayer. He did have a tiff earlier this year over Colorado’s pot law. Maybe he felt a comment would be awkward.

Chris Christie on California: “We need to come to grips with the idea that we are in the midst of the next world war.” He also said it was the “first” terrorist attack on U.S. soil since 9/11. I guess he doesn’t consider any gun violence terrorism and didn’t read a newspaper the week of the Boston Marathon bombing.

Jeb Bush on Colorado: “There is no acceptable explanation for this violence,and I will continue to pray for those who have been impacted.”

Jeb Bush on California: Praying for the victims, their families & the San Bernardino first responders in the wake of this tragic shooting.

The Republican main brand is fair and this is another opportunity for them to sell that. Toward a solution, all the candidates have are prayers and a rush to hate Muslims. Neither is helpful or a solution to Americans shooting Americans. The New York Daily News is catching a lot of heat for illustrating as much on their front page. But praying while adding nothing else doesn’t change anything. Go ahead and pray for people. Despite some conservatives acting wounded over the prayer criticism, it’s not enough.  Isn’t it just like conservatives to play victims over praying being criticized after 14 people were just killed?

How about in ADDITION to prayers (I said “in addition” you overly sensitive cry babies), proposing some solutions? How about actual legislation other than another bill to defund Obamacare?

Focusing on prayers and Islam isn’t stopping gun violence. Remaining silent over one shooting and taking a political advantage over another isn’t helping either.

The solution is fewer guns. Fewer guns for you. Fewer guns for me. And most importantly, fewer guns for bad guns. Seriously, it’s all empty rhetoric if you aren’t helping to keep guns away from terrorists, whether they’re domestic, foreign, Christian, or Islamic.

House Speaker Paul Ryan is against not selling guns to people on no-fly lists. We don’t have a problem leaving a douchenozzle stranded in Wichita but we better not violate his civil rights by making him wait on purchasing a gun. This guy is the leader of Congressional Republicans. We’re in trouble. It’s also weird how Republican concerns over Constitutional rights are absent over issues such as hmmm…I don’t know….voting?

There are too many guns. That’s the foundation to this problem. Obama is doing a terrible job of rounding up all our guns before the U.N. invasion. I swear I’m not voting for that guy again.

 

California Shooting


cjones12032015

Practice makes perfect. Too many horrible events, too close together, keeps giving me not just the opportunities, but the requirement that I draw cartoons featuring guns. I am not the most talented artist among my editorial cartooning colleagues. Far from it. But I am getting really good at drawing guns.

I’m not against the 2nd Amendment. But the article was written when the top of the line firearm was a musket. It also says the right to a “well regulated militia.” What the Hell is well regulated about the proliferation of guns in this country?

I grew up with guns. I was (mostly) raised in Louisiana where you don’t drive past a pickup truck or a high school parking lot without seeing gun racks. I’m actually a pretty good shot. I strongly believe in the rights to own a gun and the culture of hunting. I believe hunting is very important to the environment in some situations. Of course, none of this requires the ownership of an Ak-47 or AR-15.

I owned guns. I tried hunting. I shot a rabbit once and then I felt really bad. The day I sat in a deer stand and watched three deer walk past me and I didn’t take a shot was the day I realized I wasn’t a hunter. I don’t like getting up early or sitting in a tree in the woods during winter. I’m not a fisherman either.

Over time I got rid of my guns. Not out of anything political. I was bored and I was neglecting them. They were getting rusty. After my son was born I was glad they were already gone. I gave them up the same way I gave up golf. I lost all interest. I would rather have a 335 than a 357. A 335 is a guitar. Do you know how many times I’ve needed a gun since 1988? None. I have needed a guitar on thousands of occasions and if someone breaks in I’ll wack ’em with a Telecaster (and don’t forget Killer digging the sleep hole in my bed).

The distribution of guns in the United States is getting beyond ridiculous. It’s stupid. It’s time we actually enact very strict laws on gun ownership. I believe every single gun should be registered. I’ll go farther than that. We need to register ammunition. We need further background checks. Why do we sell guns to people we won’t allow on a plane?

Yes. Bad guys will continue to find ways to get guns. People continue to drive too fast but we don’t get rid of speed limits. Despite laws against it, people still commit murder.

I drew a cartoon on guns last week. I wasn’t that wild about it. I drew it before the shooting in Colorado Springs. After that the cartoon was shared like crazy on social media. USA Today ran it. I tried to take a breath and not draw a cartoon on gun violence. I’m having a harder time squeezing those in because people keep shooting people. Enough!

I wanted to draw Rahm Emanuel today. America won’t let me. Stop shooting each other.

The drawing in this cartoon isn’t entirely accurate. Nobody walks in while I’m drawing. I don’t really have an editor anymore. I have the occasional editor a few times a month for commissioned projects and I don’t even let them tell me what to do. My dog is a Beagle and the dog in the cartoon doesn’t look very much like Chubbs. He does hang out between my feet and under my chair while I draw (or he gets back on my bed where he’s continuing his dig a sleep hole project). I don’t have a drafting table anymore but I do draw on a board (I’ve had since I was 17) on a flat table. I have two laptops, one for coloring (and everything else) and the other for scanning because my scanner doesn’t like my good computer. There is an Epiphone 335 next to my table which I mess with while watching TV, which is on the wall across from my drawing spot. I do have a Nirvana poster of Cobain but I don’t have one of the Nevermind cover. And I am wearing pants with holes in the knees.

Since I don’t post selfies this is the most accurate you’re going to see of me until someone else takes my picture for whatever reason that may be.

Did you like this cartoon? Want to help a cartoonist make a living? Look to the right of this page and make a donation through Paypal. I need to buy pens, paper, sandwiches, and dog food. The starving cartoonist and his Beagle appreciates it. If you’ve donated in the past, THANK YOU!!!