Bullshit

Bull By Barr


Cjones07052021

In The Big Lebowski, The Stranger played by Sam Elliott says to The Dude, “Sometimes you bite the bar…and sometimes the bar bites you.” In the Trump era…and the post-Trump era, sometimes the Barr gives you bullshit.

As Oliver Sykes said, “The only person to blame is the person making up the bullshit.” William Barr can’t blame Trump for his own bullshit.

On December, 20, William Barr, who was at that time still Trump’s Attorney General, issued a public statement saying, “to date, we have not seen fraud on a scale that could have effected a different outcome in the election.” He used, “To date,” as if some fraud might turn up. Two days later, he resigned.

Now, Barr believes all of Trump’s election fraud claims were “bullshit.” William Barr is absolutely correct. Donald Trump’s election fraud claims, and the Big Lie he won, or that he’ll be reinstated in August, are total and compete bullshit. What William Barr is leaving out during these attempts to rehabilitate his image, like Javanka, is that he was complicit. William Barr was the chief shoveler of Trump bullshit. And in the process, he shit out a lot of shit himself. Barr was a walking, OK, weebling, human fertilizer factory.

Shortly after the election Trump lost, Barr authorized the Justice Department to open election fraud investigations, even though the election hadn’t been certified yet. And before the election, he helped Trump build doubt and suspicion that the election would be full of fraud.

The reason Donald Trump wanted everyone to have doubts on the election was because he expected to lose. He even refused to say if he’d cooperate with a peaceful transfer of power if he lost. He expected to lose in 2016 and cast doubts before that election as well.

The weeks before the 2020 election, Trump conducted a Twitter blitz of bullshit. He tweeted, “Tremendous potential for voter fraud,” “RIPE for FRAUD”, and, “Shouldn’t be allowed,” “Mail in ballots substantially increases the risk of crime and VOTER FRAUD!,” and. “No mail ballots, they cheat.” At a press conference, he said, “People cheat. Mail ballots are a very dangerous thing for this country because they are cheaters.” Are the voters cheaters or are the ballots the ones cheating?

You can’t trust those mail ballots. They vape, will impregnate your daughter, feed your cat the cheap dry food, clog your toilet, etc.

Barr, being more of Trump’s hatchet goon than the Attorney General, picked up on Trump’s bullshit. He warned mail-in ballots present “so many occasions for fraud there that cannot be policed. I think it would be very bad.” He also raised the “possibility of counterfeiting.” When asked if he had proof of this, he said, “No, but it’s obvious.”

Well, if it’s obvious, you should have some proof. Right?

Will Smith said in “iRobot,” “Sorry, I’m allergic to bullshit.” William Barr is not allergic to bullshit.

During a House hearing, he warned that foreign nations, except for Russia, could possibly tamper with mail-in ballots and produce counterfeit ballots. Democratic representative Mary Gay Scanlon of Pennsylvania said to Barr, “But, in fact, you have no evidence that foreign countries can successfully sway our elections with counterfeit ballots, do you?” Barr replied, “I do not, but I have common sense.” Do you, Willy? Do you have common sense? How about any sense?

In 2019, which would have included any voter fraud committed during the 2018 midterms, Barr’s Justice Department charged more than 69,000 federal criminal cases against over 87,000 total defendants. None of those cases involved fraud relating to mail-in ballots. Not one.

But, while talking to Wolf Blitzer on CNN, Barr claimed, “We indicted someone in Texas, 1,700 ballots collected from people who could vote, he made them out and voted for the person he wanted to.”

Wolf asked Barr, “”During your tenure as attorney general of the United States, how many indictments have you brought against people committing voter fraud?” Barr replied, “I couldn’t tell you off the top of my head, but several I know of.” So, how can Barr know of several but can’t tell you off the top of his head? Usually, when you know something, you know it. It’s not like Led Zeppelin songs. Nobody can name a Led Zeppein song except…..shit.

But as it turns out, his claims of 1,700 ballots being corrupted, and his department charging someone, was bullshit. His department didn’t charge anyone. The state of Texas did. And those 1,700 turned out to be only one. Barr is full of bullshit. As Sarah Marshall said in “Forgetting Sarah Marshall,” “Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit, bullshit.”

Later, The Department of Justice under Barr screamed about nine missing ballots in Pennsylvania that were all marked for Trump. First, if they were messed with, who they were marked for is less important than the fact they were tampered with. Second, if they’re missing, how do you know they were marked for Trump? Normally, the Justice Department doesn’t comment on ongoing cases, but this one seemed to favor the Trump narrative, so they commented. Then, those nine ballots for the orange shitweasel turned into seven. And then, we learned those ballots weren’t discarded…but placed in the wrong envelopes…which canceled them out per election laws. They were placed in ballot application envelopes by stupid voters. Maybe they were all Trump voters. But, nine votes wouldn’t overturn the Pennsylvania presidential election for Donald Trump. President Joe Biden won that state by more than 80,000 votes. In case you’re a Republican, 80,000 is more than seven. It’s even more than nine.

Then, Barr’s Justice Department announced that a postal carrier in New Jersey did a Newman and stashed 99 ballots in a locker someplace instead of delivering them. Where were they supposed to be delivered? To election officials after being cast? No. They were blank ballots on their way to voters. But, Barr gave Trump a narrative of election fraud in New Jersey that favored Biden…like Trump ever had a chance of winning New Jersey. Fuhgeddaboudit.

Barr didn’t just carry Trump’s water and act as his Roy Cohn (another corrupt lawyer) or his Rudy Giuliani (corrupt, drippy, farty lawyer). He blasted Trump bullshit to get the job heading DOJ, then continued after.

Barr went on TV and talked about how the Mueller Investigation was illegal, which got him the DOJ job. After Mueller finished his investigation, Barr sat on Mueller’s summary and issued his own…which was total bullshit saying Trump had been exonerated. Bullshit!

Barr also minimized and tried to drop cases against fellow Trump goons Roger Stone and Michael Flynn. It was weird he was getting personally involved in cases with Trump goons. Several prosecutors quit DOJ after that bullshit. As Elizabeth Taylor said, “I don’t have a short temper, I just have a quick reaction to bullshit.”

Barr sat before Congress and echoed Trump’s lie that the FBI “spied” on him.

Barr claimed Black Lives Matter was full of “Bolsheviks” and had the tactics of “fascists.”

And who can forget the teargassing of protesters at Lafayette Square so Donald Trump could do his photo-op in front of St. John’s Church with an upside-down borrowed Bible.

Now, William Barr is trying to cultivate his image. Was that his plan all along, to carry Trump bullshit until it was over? What was his agenda?

It’s too late Willy. We’re not buying your bullshit. Go sit in the corner with Javanka and sulk. You did everything in your power to serve a cult of stupid racist personality and to destroy this nation. You enabled a national security risk. Now, you want a medal for saying it was all “bullshit?”

I call bullshit on your bullshit. As Stephen King once said, “Money talks, bullshit walks.”

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Corona BS


cjones03112020

When Donald Trump was a candidate for the presidency and no one could actually see him winning the office, President Obama said Trump was “uniquely unqualified” for the job. Obama was right. Donald Trump has done nothing except prove he’s unqualified and should not be president.

A man like Donald Trump occupying the Oval Office is a national emergency and a national security risk. He’s given secrets to the Russians. He’s downplayed attacks against our nation. He’s given legitimacy to North Korea’s dictator. He’s praised dictators. He’s attacked our allies and has worked diligently to weaken NATO. He withheld military aid to an ally in a war with one of our enemies to extort personal favors. He’s used his office to advance his political campaign and to build his own bank account. He’s removed qualified people from crucial posts to install sycophants and family members. He’s even worked to deny disaster relief and humanitarian aid to Americans because he doesn’t like the spending and their leaders hurt his feelings. For the past three years, Donald Trump hasn’t had a disaster so he’s been one. Now, we have a disaster for him to handle.

A disaster is here and in typical Trumpian fashion, his ego is the top priority. But this time, Trump can’t change the discussion with a tweet. Making fun of someone’s height doesn’t change the subject. Boasting about his leadership skills doesn’t change actual facts. The bet now is who will realize first that Donald Trump’s bullshit doesn’t change facts, Donald Trump or his cult?

One of my conservative fucknut colleagues has a cartoon today with a paper containing a headline reading, “Trump: America prepared for Corona.” And no, the cartoon isn’t about Mexican beer.

What my conservative Trump turdling colleague failed to mention is that Donald Trump has downplayed, and lied, and lied, and lied, and then lied some more when it comes to “Corona.”

His latest attempt to downplay it is that he has a “hunch” the World Health Organization is wrong about the death rate from the Coronavirus. Never mind that WHO’s death rate is based upon actual deaths from the virus. The man believes in invisible airplanes, windmill cancer, and that you need an ID to purchase Count Chocula, but let’s trust his hunch on this one.

Donald Trump initially called the virus a hoax. As you should know by now, it’s not. Trump has claimed the number of cases are decreasing in this nation. They’re not. He claimed the fatality rate is lower than the flu. It’s not. He said a vaccine is coming quickly. It’s not. Next, he’ll probably claim Mexico will pay for it.

And the people who are trying to get the facts out about this emergency are being attacked by Trump and cult, accusing those trying to tell the truth of attempting to hurt him politically. Even his dumbass son, aptly named “Donald Trump Jr,” said Democrats and the media want people to die so it’ll hurt his father politically.

While it’s all well and good (not really) that Donald Trump’s cult gaslights and claims he built this economy and that it was in a recession when he entered office (really. His supporters believe this), nobody dies from that bullshit. But now, they’re gaslighting and playing politics with something that kills people.

While talking to Sean Hannity, Trump said, “you have thousands or even hundreds of thousands of people that get better, just by sitting around — and even going to work — some of them go to work. But they get better.” That’s the kind of bullshit that will kill people. And of course, Hannity wasn’t going to call him on it.

The danger from this is that a member of Trump’s cult will contract the virus and believe he only has the sniffles, and that dumbass will go to work…or attend a Trump rally. By the way, I hear a lot of liberals say if they get the virus then they’re going to a Trump rally. Here’s the problem with that: People who attend Trump rallies don’t only go to Trump rallies (or cross burnings).

But right now, we have a president (sic) who is making the environment deadlier than it already is. He’s providing false information. False information kills. And he’s claiming those who point out his lies are politicizing it and trying to hurt him.

But, criticizing his administration’s weak response and cuts that made this worse has actually increased funding to combat the virus. The House passed an $8.3 billion bill to respond to the Coronavirus and Trump will sign it.

It was during the vote for this bill that one sycophant proved they’re just as bad as their Dear Leader which brings us back to the point that protecting Donald Trump’s ego is a higher priority than combating the pandemic.

During a Meet the Press interview, Mike Pence refused to refute Donald Trump Jr’s claim that Democrats wanted the virus to kill Americans. During a hearing before Congress, Secretary of State Mike Pompeo refused to disagree with Donald Trump that the virus is a hoax. And then, during the floor vote on the bill to fight the virus, Florida Republican representative and Trump sycophant Matt Gaetz wore a huge gas mask to mock the dangers of the virus.

He later said he wore it for his own protection because “members of Congress are human Petri dishes — we fly through the dirtiest airports, we touch everyone we meet. If anyone’s gonna get coronavirus, it’s gonna be the people on that floor so I want to be ready.” I don’t know about the petri dish thing, but Matt Gaetz is like a fungus.

Before the stunt, Gaetz tweeted, “Coronavirus does not belong to a political party and it should not be a political tool.” Seriously. Here’s another fact for Florida Man Matt Gaetz: The virus doesn’t know when it’s being trolled…much like Donald Trump.

I don’t think Gaetz needed a gas mask. His colleagues did and not for safety from the virus, but from smelling the bullshit from Gaetz and the other sycophants in Congress.

In fact, the government says we don’t need to wear medical/surgical masks for protection from the virus, but if Trump’s bullshit continues, we should all wear gas masks.

Donald Trump is uniquely unqualified for the presidency. The only thing Trump is qualified for is bullshit.

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Bullshit Corinthians


cjones02142020

If you read this blog on a regular basis, then you’re probably well-read enough politically to be familiar with the argument Republicans have been pushing over the past few years that the Democratic Party created the Ku Klux Klan. You’ll see it in memes and in videos created by Prager U., a conservative outfit that’s not a real university, that engages in bullshit propaganda.

The truth is, the people who created the KKK were Democrats. In the South at that time, there was only one party and it was the Democratic Party. But the Democratic Party did not create the KKK. It takes some serious delusion and warping of history to believe liberals were lynching, suppressing, and denying freedom and the right to vote for African-Americans. Trust me on this, those people were conservatives. When someone shares a meme or video that Democrats created the KKK, what they’re saying is that if they were alive back then, they would have been Democrats. And if you read this blog on a regular basis, you would have been a Republican.

You would have been on the right side then because you’re on the right side now. Today’s Republicans are on the wrong side of history. They would have fought to defend slavery. They would have marched against civil rights. They would have been Vichy French. They would have helped load the trains.

They push this bogus Democratic Party/KKK argument because the truth is, today’s KKK are Republicans and they throw rallies and parades for Donald Trump. The truth is, the KKK was created by who Republicans are today. The people who created the KKK and are in today’s GOP, are Christian fundamentalists. The people who created the KKK were citing God and Christianity. Prager doesn’t mention that. They didn’t adhere to any real Christian principles then and they don’t today. They were liars then and they’re liars now. Their religion has always been their crutch to shit on other people, mostly minorities.

Evangelicals who support Donald Trump are phonies without principles to stand on. The majority of them opposed him before joining the cult. They couldn’t stomach this thrice-married racist liar with the world’s worst combover who assaults women. What did Donald Trump change to gain their support? He didn’t change anything. He didn’t even change his combover. They decided their convictions weren’t ever really all that important. They exposed themselves to the rest of us that everything they’ve preached about over the decades, family values, honesty, integrity, patriotism, was all bullshit.

This was in full display at the National Prayer Breakfast held in Washington, D.C. While Republicans are livid that House Speaker Nancy Pelosi broke decorum and was disrespectful by tearing up her copy of Trump’s racist and fact-challenged State of the Union speech, they had no issues with him using this event about tolerance into his own personal Festivus. They didn’t mind that he held up newspaper headlines about his acquittal or that he boasted about his polls. They don’t care that later during a White House ceremony, where Festivus continued, he called the Russia probe “bullshit.”

Trump used the bipartisan breakfast to air his grievances calling his enemies “corrupt” and “dishonest” and how they’ve put “your president” through a “terrible ordeal.” No, Donald Trump put himself, and us, through this ordeal with his corruption and lies. But what’s even worse is that he questioned their religion at this event.

Mr. “2 Corinthians” who has said he’s never sought forgiveness from God and has talked about the few times he’s been to church where he drinks his “little wine” and eats his “little cracker,” is going to question someone else’s religion.

Senator Mitt Romney cited his faith in voting to impeach Trump. Romney is well known for his religious convictions. Say what you will about Romney, but it’s hard to say you’ve never heard him discuss or cite his faith in the past. Leave it to Donald Trump to make such a claim.

Trump said, “I don’t like people who use their faith as justification for doing what they know is wrong.” Don’t worry, Mitt. He doesn’t like people who get captured during war either. Then he said, “And then you have some that used religion as a crutch. They never used it before. An article written today — never heard him use it before but today, you know, it’s one of those things.” For Trump, difficulty speaking in complete sentences is one of those things.

In reference to Pelosi, he said, “Nor do I like people who say, ‘I pray for you,’ when they know that’s not so.”

Pelosi was at the event and spoke about the poor and persecuted. The keynote address was delivered by Arthur Brooks, a Harvard professor who asked Americans to put aside hatred in national life and “love your enemies.”

Brooks asked, “How many of you love somebody with whom you disagree politically?” Everyone in the room raised their hands…except for Donald Trump. He said, “Ask God to take political contempt from your heart. And sometimes when it’s too hard, ask God to help you fake it.” Then Trump spoke who didn’t bother to fake it.

If you listened to Trump’s State of the Union speech, you know he’s about hatred. The guy who said “send them back” and has defended Nazis while tearing immigrant families apart and putting babies in jail, will never fake it. In fact, his base loves his hate. It’s his hate that created his base.

The Religious right didn’t get involved in politics when abortion became legal. They want you to believe that but no. They got involved over race and they’ve been waiting decades for Donald Trump. When Trump calls himself the “chosen one,” for evangelicals, he is.

The crowd that claims they follow Jesus truly follows a man who preaches hate and evangelicals are his disciples.

But at the very least, we now know that everything they preach in the future is all just bullshit.

Support the cartoonist.

You can help me continue to create cartoons, blogs, and videos by making a contribution. All support, large and small, is greatly appreciated. You can also support me by purchasing a signed print (8 1/2×11) for $40, or a signed poster (18×24) for $100 by clicking the PayPal button (just include a note if you’re purchasing a print). If you want to support but don’t want to use PayPal, you can send a contribution through the mail (address is on the contact page. Again, include a note for a print). I don’t plan on going anywhere and your support will help guarantee that. Whether you support, can’t. or just choose not to, please know that I am truly thankful that you visit my site and read my work.

You can purchase a signed print of this cartoon.

New Book: Tales From 

Watch me draw.